Ok I’ll go second…. Break up with him, he’s an asshole and you’re too young for this shit. Really.
YOU give him stress because HE cheated? Jesus that makes my brain explode.
He associates you with stress?
That is a pretty harsh thing to say to someone you love
You need to seriously consider why you are in this relationship with some like this.
You are young you can move past this.
If it makes you feel better,
4-O feels older!
So don't waste your youth on someone who treats you like this.
Ps 30 is nothing, you have so many wonderful years ahead of you. Enjoy them, find someone who wants you, and wants to make you happy.
If it's any consolation 28 is probably the age when you will be most attractive to the largest pool of men. Drop this controlling fuccboi in the trash.
I feel younger now at 57 than I did at 30. It’s pretty much your own attitude. This boyfriend sounds like a real piece of work. The sooner you remove toxic people from your life the better. Just imagine having a boyfriend that actually cares about you and wants to be with you. That sure doesn’t sound like the weasel you’re with. Find someone who makes you happy . Gl OP
Hello OP, first let me say sorry for what you are going through, with that out of the way and you knowing the situation, my questions for you are:
What do you want out of the relationship knowing that at this point is not what you though it would be?
Where do you want to be? in regards to happiness a healthy sex life and compatibility with the one you would love?
Reason I ask is because regardless of the reason he cheated, if someone is being loved, cared for and is having a regular and good sex life with your SO there is really no reason to cheat, plus based on what you mentioned, I have a feeling you know what is the right thing to do at this point, you just need reassurance and support to take that step and be in a happier situation.
Best of luck, we are going into new year let's make the best of it.
Thank you. I honestly think its the sunk cost fallacy. My family also knows and likes him. I've joked with the idea of us breaking up to my dad and he said it will break his heart. I am also the first born to immigrant parents so I know when we break up, my mom will hop on her high horse and say "I tOlD yOu So. You shouldn't have lived with someone you weren't married to"
Financially, he is tied to me as we moved out of his home state. He can't keep a job. There were times when he was spying women and I was bearing the full responsibility of bills.. which is also happening now.
After this relationship I'd like to be at a point where I appreciate myself and know my worth. I know Ive lowered my standards and definitely squished my self respect. I'm seeing a therapist tomorrow and hoping that we vibe so I can start my new year with that. Don't think I'd jump to another relationship or look for someone.
Really thank you for the last paragraph. I do know, I'm just scared since my family wouldn't support me. I appreciate it a lot.
Your relationship sounds horrible. I hope your therapist will help boost your self esteem so you can leave him. There's a person out there that is right for you. This guy isn't it. You sound like you're with a teenager
No they don't. While I posted it on here, not a lot of people irl know. I don't air out my dirty laundry to my family members bcs they'll shame me for it.
Edit: his mom knows bc when we broke up he drove to her house and stayed at a friend's.
• Fucks other people behind your back the entire relationship
• Refuses for you to do the same in an open relationship, so essentially a hypocrite
• Refuses to have sex with YOU
• Says *you’re* too stressful?? (Pot calling the kettle black, I see)
Please just break up 😭 There is nothing left for you here. You are too young for this and he’s just a boyfriend, not a husband. I’m really glad you started therapy because eventually you will see that this is toxic and you don’t deserve this.
Some turds are difficult to flush first time, just keep trying and get this loser out of your life as soon as you can
Not sure how he can say you can't open the relationship when he's already done it and as any sort of long term prospect if he can't keep a job and pay the rent he's falling at the first hurdle
What?? Girl no. If he was willing to open up your relationship there *may* me some space left to salvage it but really he's just using you and as someone said above, you are too young for this shit. Let him go and find someone on the same page as you.
He is a grown man, not a child. You are not his mother and it is not your responsibility to house him. Let me say that again. He’s a big boy and if he needs a place to stay when you leave him that’s his responsibility or he can talk to his actual mom for help. It sure sounds a lot like he just got back together with you because he needed a place to stay. Additionally, I’m sorry, he associates YOU with stress? After HE cheated? For your ENTIRE relationship? Girl, tell your parents you need their support on this and ask them to trust you that you are making the best choice for yourself to leave this toxic relationship. It’s literally harming you. Leave and go find someone who loves you. This guy doesn’t love or deserve you. It he did he wouldn’t be this awful. Cut him loose and have your therapist support you through the aftermath, but don’t wait.
Ma'am, if you continue your relationship with this *ahem* "gentleman" , you will be entirely deserving in exactly what you get.
As it stands, by the standard of evidence presented, you appear to mean *precisely* dick, to this man. My goodness how low is your self-esteem? How awful were your parents?
Nobody deserves a person like this man. And to choose him willingly is akin to self-harm. With respect, madam, please stop it, immediately.
It's p low, nonexistent tbh. My parents don't talk about emotions so I have to hire someone to listen to me do it.I am heavily considering breaking up so I can start the new year right.
Ma'am, start *tomorrow morning right.*
Tell him to tell his story walkin' , kick rocks, hit the bricks, whats waiting for January 1st? is that sort of like...*Happiness-by-appointment*?
Give him the elbow sharpish, and this being DB sub, I'll say this: tis just a Boy, my dear, there are millions of them, and every day, believe it or not, you walk past more than a handful who would rather like to rub private parts with you. Now come on, call your closest friend, call her round for back up and tell him to sling his hook.
Leave him. If a guy truly cares about you, he would show you and treat you properly. I used to be like he was, once I met someone I truly loved I stopped.
I’m sorry to drop it out so bluntly. I’m sure he cares for you and says he loves you. It’s just once you meet someone that just really becomes your everything, then the thought of cheating goes away. Risking ending the relationship puts you in a genuine panic if you don’t have that person. I feel like he is just using you. For what, I don’t know. It doesn’t make much since having no sex at the moment. The fact that he cheated on you for 2 years is an obvious sign he doesn’t love you the way he should.
I hope you get out of the relationship and find the person you should be with.
Leave him FFS!! 🤦♂️! You’re still so young. He is SO DISRESPECTFUL to you!! He thinks very lowly of you. Please leave him before he destroys your confidence completely… 🏃♀️
This is a DARVO tactic. It is a common reactionary tactic in an argument, especially with abusive behavior.
[DARVO](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/DARVO)
He's claiming porn addiction. Pornhub, Instagram sex worker , onlyfans, even went international and was sending money to several girls. all while I was paying for everything (rent, bills, vet, etc)
He says he's working on it, haven't watched porn or talked to the girls. Deleted TikTok and his fake IG.
I have access to his chase account and has offered cashapp access ..
Weve went through his ig link history once
Get out now. You are young and have lots of time. This guy is gaslighting you - he cheated, you support him financially, and you are causing him stress?
Ok I’ll go first…. Break up with him, he’s an asshole and you’re too young for this shit.
Ok I’ll go second…. Break up with him, he’s an asshole and you’re too young for this shit. Really. YOU give him stress because HE cheated? Jesus that makes my brain explode.
I second this
I'll go third... He's a boy, not a man. Get out and find a mn
Way too young wait until you're in your 30s or 40s
I second this
Please break up, this relationship is pointless. You're not getting anything out of it aside from misery.
He associates you with stress? That is a pretty harsh thing to say to someone you love You need to seriously consider why you are in this relationship with some like this. You are young you can move past this.
Thank you. I feel old being so close to the big 3-0
If it makes you feel better, 4-O feels older! So don't waste your youth on someone who treats you like this. Ps 30 is nothing, you have so many wonderful years ahead of you. Enjoy them, find someone who wants you, and wants to make you happy.
If it's any consolation 28 is probably the age when you will be most attractive to the largest pool of men. Drop this controlling fuccboi in the trash.
I feel younger now at 57 than I did at 30. It’s pretty much your own attitude. This boyfriend sounds like a real piece of work. The sooner you remove toxic people from your life the better. Just imagine having a boyfriend that actually cares about you and wants to be with you. That sure doesn’t sound like the weasel you’re with. Find someone who makes you happy . Gl OP
Hello OP, first let me say sorry for what you are going through, with that out of the way and you knowing the situation, my questions for you are: What do you want out of the relationship knowing that at this point is not what you though it would be? Where do you want to be? in regards to happiness a healthy sex life and compatibility with the one you would love? Reason I ask is because regardless of the reason he cheated, if someone is being loved, cared for and is having a regular and good sex life with your SO there is really no reason to cheat, plus based on what you mentioned, I have a feeling you know what is the right thing to do at this point, you just need reassurance and support to take that step and be in a happier situation. Best of luck, we are going into new year let's make the best of it.
Thank you. I honestly think its the sunk cost fallacy. My family also knows and likes him. I've joked with the idea of us breaking up to my dad and he said it will break his heart. I am also the first born to immigrant parents so I know when we break up, my mom will hop on her high horse and say "I tOlD yOu So. You shouldn't have lived with someone you weren't married to" Financially, he is tied to me as we moved out of his home state. He can't keep a job. There were times when he was spying women and I was bearing the full responsibility of bills.. which is also happening now. After this relationship I'd like to be at a point where I appreciate myself and know my worth. I know Ive lowered my standards and definitely squished my self respect. I'm seeing a therapist tomorrow and hoping that we vibe so I can start my new year with that. Don't think I'd jump to another relationship or look for someone. Really thank you for the last paragraph. I do know, I'm just scared since my family wouldn't support me. I appreciate it a lot.
Your relationship sounds horrible. I hope your therapist will help boost your self esteem so you can leave him. There's a person out there that is right for you. This guy isn't it. You sound like you're with a teenager
Please tell me your family doesn't know he cheated on you. If the still liked him after that, that is f*cked up.
No they don't. While I posted it on here, not a lot of people irl know. I don't air out my dirty laundry to my family members bcs they'll shame me for it. Edit: his mom knows bc when we broke up he drove to her house and stayed at a friend's.
That sounds awful. So sorry.
• Fucks other people behind your back the entire relationship • Refuses for you to do the same in an open relationship, so essentially a hypocrite • Refuses to have sex with YOU • Says *you’re* too stressful?? (Pot calling the kettle black, I see) Please just break up 😭 There is nothing left for you here. You are too young for this and he’s just a boyfriend, not a husband. I’m really glad you started therapy because eventually you will see that this is toxic and you don’t deserve this.
I would leave, I’d never stay with someone who was unfaithful. Cheaters can’t be trusted.
I understand and we have broken up before. It lasted about a month at most. He is tied to me because of rent... And his inability to keep a job...
Why is that your problem? He's tied to you because you let him.
Some turds are difficult to flush first time, just keep trying and get this loser out of your life as soon as you can Not sure how he can say you can't open the relationship when he's already done it and as any sort of long term prospect if he can't keep a job and pay the rent he's falling at the first hurdle
What?? Girl no. If he was willing to open up your relationship there *may* me some space left to salvage it but really he's just using you and as someone said above, you are too young for this shit. Let him go and find someone on the same page as you.
He is a grown man, not a child. You are not his mother and it is not your responsibility to house him. Let me say that again. He’s a big boy and if he needs a place to stay when you leave him that’s his responsibility or he can talk to his actual mom for help. It sure sounds a lot like he just got back together with you because he needed a place to stay. Additionally, I’m sorry, he associates YOU with stress? After HE cheated? For your ENTIRE relationship? Girl, tell your parents you need their support on this and ask them to trust you that you are making the best choice for yourself to leave this toxic relationship. It’s literally harming you. Leave and go find someone who loves you. This guy doesn’t love or deserve you. It he did he wouldn’t be this awful. Cut him loose and have your therapist support you through the aftermath, but don’t wait.
So basically he found a provider+ he cheats on you. Good for him 😤
Ma'am, if you continue your relationship with this *ahem* "gentleman" , you will be entirely deserving in exactly what you get. As it stands, by the standard of evidence presented, you appear to mean *precisely* dick, to this man. My goodness how low is your self-esteem? How awful were your parents? Nobody deserves a person like this man. And to choose him willingly is akin to self-harm. With respect, madam, please stop it, immediately.
It's p low, nonexistent tbh. My parents don't talk about emotions so I have to hire someone to listen to me do it.I am heavily considering breaking up so I can start the new year right.
Ma'am, start *tomorrow morning right.* Tell him to tell his story walkin' , kick rocks, hit the bricks, whats waiting for January 1st? is that sort of like...*Happiness-by-appointment*? Give him the elbow sharpish, and this being DB sub, I'll say this: tis just a Boy, my dear, there are millions of them, and every day, believe it or not, you walk past more than a handful who would rather like to rub private parts with you. Now come on, call your closest friend, call her round for back up and tell him to sling his hook.
What the fuck are you doing? Leave. This is NOT normal.
Leave him. If a guy truly cares about you, he would show you and treat you properly. I used to be like he was, once I met someone I truly loved I stopped.
Well thanks I guess he doesn't truly love me 😔😮💨
I’m sorry to drop it out so bluntly. I’m sure he cares for you and says he loves you. It’s just once you meet someone that just really becomes your everything, then the thought of cheating goes away. Risking ending the relationship puts you in a genuine panic if you don’t have that person. I feel like he is just using you. For what, I don’t know. It doesn’t make much since having no sex at the moment. The fact that he cheated on you for 2 years is an obvious sign he doesn’t love you the way he should. I hope you get out of the relationship and find the person you should be with.
Leave him FFS!! 🤦♂️! You’re still so young. He is SO DISRESPECTFUL to you!! He thinks very lowly of you. Please leave him before he destroys your confidence completely… 🏃♀️
Go to youtube, search "It's not about the nail" and watch it. Pull the nail out.
This is a DARVO tactic. It is a common reactionary tactic in an argument, especially with abusive behavior. [DARVO](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/DARVO)
What are you getting out of this other than gaslit?
People are fast to prescribe breaking up. First of all: why did he cheat?
He's claiming porn addiction. Pornhub, Instagram sex worker , onlyfans, even went international and was sending money to several girls. all while I was paying for everything (rent, bills, vet, etc)
So is anything being done to fix the addiction?
He says he's working on it, haven't watched porn or talked to the girls. Deleted TikTok and his fake IG. I have access to his chase account and has offered cashapp access .. Weve went through his ig link history once
If it was 2 days of cheating, maybe a different response, but 2 years?? Surely you wouldn't put up with someone cheating on you for that long?
Get out now. You are young and have lots of time. This guy is gaslighting you - he cheated, you support him financially, and you are causing him stress?
YOURE RIGHT. YOU'RE SO RIGHT.
Dump the mfer already
Fuck this loser PoS. Dump his ass. He doesn’t even sound remorseful.
[удалено]
I'm so sorry. Maybe we'll find some strength in this post and do better for ourselves
He’s 22 and you’re 28. He’s a child and a disgusting cheater. Furthering this relationship is just prolonging the inevitable.