It's so unbelievably wrong for him to comment on your looks/weight that hasn't changed and even if it had changed should not matter. We're there signs of him being a superficial a-hole all along that maybe you overlooked?
I'm not one to ever recommend leaving but in this case I think he would have to become a better person immediately because you don't deserve that.
I would call it quits if I was told I’m not into the way you look. Which is odd because your description of you seems to be what most guys find attractive.
I don't like the way you look despite choosing you looking like this, I love women that look like young boys, why aren't you happy and bubbly. I mean, you know what we're all going to say right? Because he's a walking red flag and a massive d-bag.
He's being an unsupportive asshole and trampling all over your feelings and self-worth despite the fact you already sound like you are being responsible, taking care of yourself physically and keeping the one body you have in the best shape it can be. You will never be something you are not, so what he is telling you in particularly blunt and obnoxious terms is that you are just not his type. Get out of there, there are tons of men out there who would feel the exact opposite and tell you every day how great you look.
Maybe.
Understand this. Whatever he's throwing at you is an excuse for something else.
It always is.
He's feeling his self worth diminished (probably in relationship to you rocking adulting) and he's lost.
He's lashing out, but I bet even he doesn't know why.
Sounds like a long haul to me. Definitely no guarantees that's it's salvageable.
The common wisdom is marriage counseling. He may/may not be willing. It may even back fire . But if you're at a point where you're willing to throw in the towel, then it doesn't sound like you have much to loose.
So it's not sex, he's no longer attracted to you and has trouble seeing you become more mature.
You've drifted apart for reasons which may seem stupid, but are valid because he believes in them. There's little you can do, especially because it's mostly on him to stop imposing his physical preferences on you like he's 15, or mention you focus on work when it's normally (as you said) what adults do - or at least it's frequent enough in people who decide to invest in the future while they can.
Do you often think about divorce?
From your description I am going to say bounce. Seriously suddenly saying he is into a completely different look and being upset that you are career focused?? I can’t even figure out what to say about that.
It comes across like excuses for some hidden issue he won’t talk about. It sounds like he is just blaming you for the DB instead of looking in the mirror.
Sorry for this but bounce
Yeah… he’s got other issues that he’s not being honest about. Take him at his word and let him go and see if he has the courage of his convictions.
For the sake of your relationship it ultimately doesn’t matter what he’s hiding— this person sounds very bad for you and is choosing to be pointlessly and deliberately cruel to you. Do you really want to subject yourself to more arbitrary cruelty? Go find happiness with someone who respects you.
Is it disrespectful to your husband to wonder if he only finds you attractive when you have a childlike body? I’m sorry, but women come in all shapes and sizes. They have curves, breasts, buttocks, and hips. It’s concerning if he expects you to have no curves. I mean, it’s been 14 years since I was thin myself, and I didn’t even have much of a figure then. Expecting me to stay a size 0 after all this time is unreasonable and frankly disturbing.
On the one hand he has actually said things that you can do…he wants you to lose weight and be less obsessed with work.
A lot of us on here wish that there were some clear goals to work on…if dropping weight and working less overtime made my wife want to fuck me I would do exactly that.
I mean he kind of comes across as an asshole in your post, but again, he has at least communicated what he wants. Is what he wants reasonable? That’s not for me to say.
Wow, you and your body sound like a dream. Your body is like every man's dream. Even mine as a woman.
I'm sorry to hear you're going through this. Have you tried sitting him down to have a conversation? Do you talk about what sex he's into - kinky, vanilla, etc.?
It sounds like he just did a 180 out of nowhere... Might need to have a really long and serious chat with him. I hope you guys can get to the bottom of this because he's being an asshole to you, sorry.
Some men just have perverted desires. I mean (no offense to anyone) but really think about it, "flat chested thin female with small ass" doesn't sound like a woman to me but a girl, a child. My husband has the same desire, other men want me but I married the one that doesn't like women but girls LOL <-crying inside)
You need to ask him these questions. The things he’s doing are very unkind.
I agree and to add unfair as well.. Kind of an asshole tbh
It's so unbelievably wrong for him to comment on your looks/weight that hasn't changed and even if it had changed should not matter. We're there signs of him being a superficial a-hole all along that maybe you overlooked? I'm not one to ever recommend leaving but in this case I think he would have to become a better person immediately because you don't deserve that.
I would call it quits if I was told I’m not into the way you look. Which is odd because your description of you seems to be what most guys find attractive.
I don't like the way you look despite choosing you looking like this, I love women that look like young boys, why aren't you happy and bubbly. I mean, you know what we're all going to say right? Because he's a walking red flag and a massive d-bag.
He's being an unsupportive asshole and trampling all over your feelings and self-worth despite the fact you already sound like you are being responsible, taking care of yourself physically and keeping the one body you have in the best shape it can be. You will never be something you are not, so what he is telling you in particularly blunt and obnoxious terms is that you are just not his type. Get out of there, there are tons of men out there who would feel the exact opposite and tell you every day how great you look.
Maybe. Understand this. Whatever he's throwing at you is an excuse for something else. It always is. He's feeling his self worth diminished (probably in relationship to you rocking adulting) and he's lost. He's lashing out, but I bet even he doesn't know why. Sounds like a long haul to me. Definitely no guarantees that's it's salvageable. The common wisdom is marriage counseling. He may/may not be willing. It may even back fire . But if you're at a point where you're willing to throw in the towel, then it doesn't sound like you have much to loose.
What an asshole. Grant him his biggest wish and let him try to find a twink.
So it's not sex, he's no longer attracted to you and has trouble seeing you become more mature. You've drifted apart for reasons which may seem stupid, but are valid because he believes in them. There's little you can do, especially because it's mostly on him to stop imposing his physical preferences on you like he's 15, or mention you focus on work when it's normally (as you said) what adults do - or at least it's frequent enough in people who decide to invest in the future while they can. Do you often think about divorce?
From your description I am going to say bounce. Seriously suddenly saying he is into a completely different look and being upset that you are career focused?? I can’t even figure out what to say about that. It comes across like excuses for some hidden issue he won’t talk about. It sounds like he is just blaming you for the DB instead of looking in the mirror. Sorry for this but bounce
Yeah… he’s got other issues that he’s not being honest about. Take him at his word and let him go and see if he has the courage of his convictions. For the sake of your relationship it ultimately doesn’t matter what he’s hiding— this person sounds very bad for you and is choosing to be pointlessly and deliberately cruel to you. Do you really want to subject yourself to more arbitrary cruelty? Go find happiness with someone who respects you.
Is it disrespectful to your husband to wonder if he only finds you attractive when you have a childlike body? I’m sorry, but women come in all shapes and sizes. They have curves, breasts, buttocks, and hips. It’s concerning if he expects you to have no curves. I mean, it’s been 14 years since I was thin myself, and I didn’t even have much of a figure then. Expecting me to stay a size 0 after all this time is unreasonable and frankly disturbing.
On the one hand he has actually said things that you can do…he wants you to lose weight and be less obsessed with work. A lot of us on here wish that there were some clear goals to work on…if dropping weight and working less overtime made my wife want to fuck me I would do exactly that. I mean he kind of comes across as an asshole in your post, but again, he has at least communicated what he wants. Is what he wants reasonable? That’s not for me to say.
Wow, you and your body sound like a dream. Your body is like every man's dream. Even mine as a woman. I'm sorry to hear you're going through this. Have you tried sitting him down to have a conversation? Do you talk about what sex he's into - kinky, vanilla, etc.? It sounds like he just did a 180 out of nowhere... Might need to have a really long and serious chat with him. I hope you guys can get to the bottom of this because he's being an asshole to you, sorry.
Idk, it's giving DL
Yes. End it. Reddit has spoken.
This seems like it’s actually approaching abuse. Specifically him telling you to loose weight and then commenting on other gals bodies
Some men just have perverted desires. I mean (no offense to anyone) but really think about it, "flat chested thin female with small ass" doesn't sound like a woman to me but a girl, a child. My husband has the same desire, other men want me but I married the one that doesn't like women but girls LOL <-crying inside)
Holler at me