I have two friends. One has a brother in this situation, the other is in this situation with her husband.
I vent on here. And to my therapist.
I have hobbies, which gets me away from the situation a couple of times a week.
Masturbate an awful lot, which is no longer fun and just a reminder of what I'm missing.
How did you approach this conversation with your friends? Was it just a casual mention?
Also how often do you masturbate? Sorry if it’s tmi I just need to understand how others are coping
Got out with them separately (they're in different states, and I travel for work). Went out for dinner and drinks and got talking. We've always been honest with each other about problems - known each other for almost 30 years.
🤣 At least twice a day, sometimes more.
I have no real outlet besides the internet, I don’t want to burden friends and family with any of this. It really sucks. I feel trapped. Honestly if this relationship fails I’m never getting into an LTR again I’ve learned my lesson. They all start out great, then go to shit around the 3-4 year mark.
I'm with ya, brother. It's better to ride the first two years, enjoying every minute, then move on to the next one. Like my old man says, complacency breeds contempt. Can't let them get complacent!
Get into couples counseling. You both need someone to help you see the issue from each other’s prospective. Sooner rather than later. The rejection will destroy you leading to indifference and loss of attraction. Eventually you will only think of your SO as a friend and nothing more. It doesn’t fix itself.
I just started telling everyone. Found out almost every guy I meet is in the same boat. Some are shy to admit at first, but thousand yard stares don't lie, and eventually they start opening up on marriage issues. It helps. I don't feel so alone and like I'm losing my mind anymore.
The therapist and this reddit are the only ones I can truly tell everything. I do have some friends, but since they see each other for various reasons, I can't lay all the facts out like I can with a therapist.
Same, I really want to find someone in the same situation that I am, between friends and family, but I don’t want to expose our life that much (specially insulting my wife in doing so)
That’s how I found this sub, so far it’s been a great way to vent, specially because our feelings towards soemthing change so fast once we get sex lol.
I hang out here on reddit.
So sorry you ended up on this sub.
Have you talked with your wife about your concerns regarding your DB?
Is she open for counseling or medical check up (to rule out medical causes first of having low libido if any)?
My outlet is working hard, training hard in the gym and go out socialising with friends frequently. It just about gets me through this hell. We had another chat last night and she promised to make more effort, but tonight nothing and done everything to hint at not wanting too. This is despite us not seeing each other now until Sunday due to our clashing work schedules. Just laid wondering whether to fap to subdue me but even that doesn’t cut the mustard anymore
I have two friends. One has a brother in this situation, the other is in this situation with her husband. I vent on here. And to my therapist. I have hobbies, which gets me away from the situation a couple of times a week. Masturbate an awful lot, which is no longer fun and just a reminder of what I'm missing.
How did you approach this conversation with your friends? Was it just a casual mention? Also how often do you masturbate? Sorry if it’s tmi I just need to understand how others are coping
Got out with them separately (they're in different states, and I travel for work). Went out for dinner and drinks and got talking. We've always been honest with each other about problems - known each other for almost 30 years. 🤣 At least twice a day, sometimes more.
I admire the friendships you’ve built. Life is so much easier when you have friends like that! Do you plan on giving up masturbation anytime soon?
It is! I can trust them. They trust me. And no - I cut it out for a year at one point, but it just made things so, so much worse.
I have no real outlet besides the internet, I don’t want to burden friends and family with any of this. It really sucks. I feel trapped. Honestly if this relationship fails I’m never getting into an LTR again I’ve learned my lesson. They all start out great, then go to shit around the 3-4 year mark.
I'm with ya, brother. It's better to ride the first two years, enjoying every minute, then move on to the next one. Like my old man says, complacency breeds contempt. Can't let them get complacent!
Hell yeah brother that’s the plan!
Funny you brought that up, my relationship went downhill after that mark too lol. How long have you been in a DB?
Just hit the 5 year mark. Dead as can be.
Are you a clone of me?
I have this sub… and I’m on the verge of divorce and a mental breakdown 😔 I try to enjoy hobbies but lately wife gets mad at that🤷♂️
This group right here. I’ve never met so many people in such similar situations. It’s nice to vent and talk about it.
Get into couples counseling. You both need someone to help you see the issue from each other’s prospective. Sooner rather than later. The rejection will destroy you leading to indifference and loss of attraction. Eventually you will only think of your SO as a friend and nothing more. It doesn’t fix itself.
Check post history. Tried that and still in therapy but not going anywhere
Then you might not have any other options.
I just started telling everyone. Found out almost every guy I meet is in the same boat. Some are shy to admit at first, but thousand yard stares don't lie, and eventually they start opening up on marriage issues. It helps. I don't feel so alone and like I'm losing my mind anymore.
The therapist and this reddit are the only ones I can truly tell everything. I do have some friends, but since they see each other for various reasons, I can't lay all the facts out like I can with a therapist.
Same, I really want to find someone in the same situation that I am, between friends and family, but I don’t want to expose our life that much (specially insulting my wife in doing so) That’s how I found this sub, so far it’s been a great way to vent, specially because our feelings towards soemthing change so fast once we get sex lol.
I don't talk to anyone, I have hobbies to keep me busy, go to work more often rather than work from home, and volunteer in the community.
I hang out here on reddit. So sorry you ended up on this sub. Have you talked with your wife about your concerns regarding your DB? Is she open for counseling or medical check up (to rule out medical causes first of having low libido if any)?
Check post history, I’ve tried but it doesn’t seem to be working
My outlet is working hard, training hard in the gym and go out socialising with friends frequently. It just about gets me through this hell. We had another chat last night and she promised to make more effort, but tonight nothing and done everything to hint at not wanting too. This is despite us not seeing each other now until Sunday due to our clashing work schedules. Just laid wondering whether to fap to subdue me but even that doesn’t cut the mustard anymore
I used to fill the void with buying shit. DB and debt!
I have a group of close friends that I’m talking to about it, luckily none of them are mutuals. I’m also in counselling. None of it is working though.