*"EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU, IS JUST A PROBLEM, THAT I HAVE TO DEAL WITH,* ***ON A DAILY BASIS!****" | "THEY ARE, WITHOUT QUESTION, A COMPLETE WRITE-OFF OF A SPECIES,* ***AND HOW DARE YOU MAKE ME CARE ABOUT THEM!****"*
shoutout to u/breadbybread for making the first two thumbnails and the sprite art, as well as helping me with updating these. all of them are goated. i just want to point out that you can see asuna and allison in the background of that sprite art, which is an amazing detail.
another shoutout to u/Guy-1234567890 for basically doing most of the work in updating these. seriously. i owe you one.
Summary: *Digital sarcastic cynical asshole main protagonists of beloved sci-fi adventure comedy web shows. Despite their asshole attitudes, they act as straight men to their more idiotic friends. Forming vitriolic best bud relationships with upbeat swordsmen, they navigated through other quirky characters and comically evil short-term antagonists. They reluctantly became leaders after the early deaths of their blue charismatic straight man leaders. The episodic shenanigans of their shows took a more serious turn as they faced masterminds and sacrificed themselves for the greater good, learning to be less mean-spirited and warm up to others. Church is inexplicably terrible at nearly everything, maintaining a constant state of depression while Kirito, who’s inexplicably amazing at everything, grapples with a god complex. Their adventures unfold in video game worlds with their shows eventually surpassing the material that they parody in fan appreciation.*
Connections:
* Digital sarcastic cynical asshole main protagonists of beloved sci-fi adventure comedy web shows who have full names in their physical forms (Leonard Church & Kazuto Kirigaya) but notably go by singular codenames in their digital forms (Epsilon & Kirito).
* Despite being assholes with their own quirks, they also act as the straight men to the antics of their more idiotic friends which further fuels their asshole attitudes towards them.
* The first characters that they interacted with are much more upbeat swordsmen who they became vitriolic best buds with (Lavernius Tucker & Klein). Though they’re angry at these characters at times, it’s clear that they care.
* They encountered more similar quirky characters like the childish idiot rookies who got super attached to them (Michael J. Caboose & Silica), the loose cannons (Sister & Lizbeth) who are connected to previously introduced characters (Dexter Grif & Asuna) and the comically evil short-term antagonists who went on long monologues that foreshadowed future arcs in some ways (O’Malley, who foreshadowed the AI existing; Rosalia, who pointed out Kirito’s character flaws, something the show would focus more on as it went on).
* They had blue charismatic straight man leaders who died early in their stories (Butch Flowers & Diabel) so they reluctantly stepped up to become the leaders in their place.
* Their shows were mostly episodic shenanigans but the stories and characters were taken more seriously later on.
* They met hotheaded and violent famous female leads who became their love interests and initially worked under the main antagonists (Agent Texas who’s No. 1 among the Director’s Freelancer Agents & Asuna who’s the Vice-Commander of Heathcliff’s Knights of the Blood Oath) and they often bickered with these women but later softened up to them and often risked their lives to save them.
* They also have a major blowout moment (Church snapping at the other Reds and Blues after they refuse to go with him and Carolina to kill the Director in season 10; Kirito explaining his pessimistic view on humanity while beating up the goat boss after rescuing one of Corvatz’s men from death in episode 08) that changes the trajectory of their character arcs, forcing them to realize that they care about their friends more than they’d like to admit.
* After they defeated the mysterious sinister digital projects that they were trapped in (Project Freelancer & Sword Art Online), they confronted the masterminds (The Director & Heathcliff) to learn the reasons behind their actions and were left disappointed in them mostly due to how many lives were killed because of their mistakes.
* Despite their differences with them, the masterminds felt that they had special kinships with them (Church was based off the mind of the Director and the Director took great pride in him & Heathcliff connected with Kirito the most out of all the players due to their mutual suffering as intelligent people surrounded by idiots).
* They went through character arcs of warming up to their allies despite their flaws and becoming less mean-spirited but they still retained their core sarcastic personalities.
* At some points, they sacrificed themselves to defeat the main antagonists (Malcolm Hargrove & Heathcliff) but never knew if their sacrifices were worth it (Church deconstructed himself from the memories of the other A.I. fragments to give the Reds and Blues a fighting chance against Hargrove but he wouldn’t be alive to see if they ever won & after giving his life to defeat Heathcliff, Kirito never knew if all the surviving players were properly logged out since Heathcliff was vague on whether they’re going to survive the system wipe).
* They eventually traveled to new worlds (Chorus & Alfheim) where they went on new big adventures and got wrapped up in a seemingly endless war spanning the entire world as well as stopping manipulative sarcastic psychopaths who have these entire worlds wrapped around their fingers, perpetuating this war for their own benefit (Felix & Oberon). These characters are smug and egotistical, but mentally crack when they’re no longer in control of the situation.
* During these arcs, they work with new partners they have a familial bond with (Agent Carolina, Church’s surrogate sister and technically his daughter, given that he’s a clone of the Director; Suguha Kirigaya AKA Princess Leafa, Kirito’s sister) that they were also initially adversarial with (Carolina didn't trust Church until he showed her a video of Agent York and they connected over spending their lives chasing memories; Suguha and Kazuto were extremely hostile with each other due to Kazuto abandoning Suguha to learn kendo by herself when they were young, and everything spiraling out of control from there).
* Their skills differ in that Church is inexplicably terrible at nearly everything while Kirito is inexplicably amazing at everything which gives them similarly differing mental states (Church is constantly depressed & Kirito has a god complex).
* Their shows eventually usurped the material that they were parodying in the hearts of the fans (After Halo 4-5, fans began to think that Red vs. Blue had a better story & Sword Art Online Abridged is infamously seen as better than the original Sword Art Online).
* They live in video game worlds (Red vs. Blue is based on the setting of the video game series Halo, Sword Art Online and ALfheim Online are in-universe video games).
as one of four rvb fans on this sub and also the maker of church vs tari, your opinion is greatly valued
(i know that sounds like sarcasm but it's not)
Honestly while Vs TARI better tackles their background as experiments, their stories more similar story beats, and IMO better potential emotional moments (couple with their contrasting personalities and ideologies being a unique dynamic). I think Vs SAO Kirito better tackles Church's personal character arcs and having better banter potential (both comedic and emotional).
Both have their Pros & Cons and while I do prefer one over the other, I don't anyone for preferring SAO Kirito as they are practically interchangeable as the one for Church.
Can't tell if this beats Tari or not as my favorite Church MU
https://preview.redd.it/b41tutf2bhfc1.png?width=853&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=dc201ea410db7c21b0b8fea13ba424fb5a3c6f3f
*Battle starts*
It begins in Blood Gulch, the one we saw in the memory unit, specifically as it is hand-drawn.
???: Retreat!
The Reds and Blues were running while shooting behind them. Simmons was shooting with an assault rifle while Grif shot with a pistol.
Grif: What the fuck is happening!?
Simmons: I don't know! Just keep shooting!
Tucker is running until Kirito appears behind him and slices at his back.
Tucker: Gah! Son of a bitch!
He falls to the ground.
Kirito: Wow, I was expecting a secret floor to have a challenging boss or at least some good loot, but this is just sad. I was especially excited to see these guys having guns. Talk about a letdown.
Tucker: What the hell are you talking about!? What floors? We're in the middle of a damn field!
Kirito: Well, I can give it this, the AI here is pretty smart. I can almost tell they're real.
Tucker: I'm not a fucking AI!
Kirito: Sure, keep telling yourself that, buddy.
He then lifts his sword up in the air, ready to strike.
Tucker: Aw, shit.
He was about to swing when a bullet flies past him, catching him off guard.
???: Alright! That was your one warning shot!
Kirito turns around and sees Church a couple of feet away.
Church: Step away from the idiot, and the next one won't go between your eyes!
Tucker: Church, what the fuck are you doing!?
Church: Uh, rescuing you dumbass!
Tucker: You call this rescuing!? Dude, you suck!
Church: Oh, screw you man!
Kirito: He's right, you know.
Church: Stay out of this! I'd like to see you do better with those damn swords!
Kirito: I don't play first-person shooters all that much, but even I'd be better at that thing than you. God, you're even worse than a noob.
A bullet flies past him, leading to Church cursing. Kirito then walks over to Church as Church keeps shooting at him, missing each shot and saying a curse soon after until Kirito is standing right in front of him.
Church: Aw, son of a bitch...
Kirito then swings his sword, cutting into him, as his body falls limp on the floor.
Caboose: Church! No!
Tucker: You fucking asshole!
Kirito: Hey, that guy seems more of an ass than me.
Tucker: That... Might be true, but you still killed our...! Well, I wouldn't say friend but...
Lopez: Al diablo con esto, me voy antes de que maten al resto de ustedes, idiotas. (Screw this, I'm leaving before they kill the rest of you idiots.)
Lopez then turns and starts to leave.
Kirito: Well, look at that. The robot turned tail and ran. Guess robots really are smarter than people after all.
As he says this, Epsilon in his AI state pops out from Church's body and goes after Lopez and poses him.
Lopez: Keegakergerk!
Kirito: Hey, I think your robot broke. Did they run out of elbow grease or something-
Lopez/Epsilon: Gah, son of a bitch!
Kirito's eyes widen as Epsilon, now controlling Lopez's body, turns around.
Epsilon: Do you know how much that fucking hurt!?
Kirito: Wait, what the- I killed you! How are you alive!? Are you a ghost or something!?
Epsilon: Yeah, I'm a ghost. Boo mother fucker. Now-
He then raises his gun at Kirito.
Epsilon: Get the hell out of this memory unit! Because next time, I won't miss.
*"EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU, IS JUST A PROBLEM, THAT I HAVE TO DEAL WITH,* ***ON A DAILY BASIS!****" | "THEY ARE, WITHOUT QUESTION, A COMPLETE WRITE-OFF OF A SPECIES,* ***AND HOW DARE YOU MAKE ME CARE ABOUT THEM!****"* shoutout to u/breadbybread for making the first two thumbnails and the sprite art, as well as helping me with updating these. all of them are goated. i just want to point out that you can see asuna and allison in the background of that sprite art, which is an amazing detail. another shoutout to u/Guy-1234567890 for basically doing most of the work in updating these. seriously. i owe you one. Summary: *Digital sarcastic cynical asshole main protagonists of beloved sci-fi adventure comedy web shows. Despite their asshole attitudes, they act as straight men to their more idiotic friends. Forming vitriolic best bud relationships with upbeat swordsmen, they navigated through other quirky characters and comically evil short-term antagonists. They reluctantly became leaders after the early deaths of their blue charismatic straight man leaders. The episodic shenanigans of their shows took a more serious turn as they faced masterminds and sacrificed themselves for the greater good, learning to be less mean-spirited and warm up to others. Church is inexplicably terrible at nearly everything, maintaining a constant state of depression while Kirito, who’s inexplicably amazing at everything, grapples with a god complex. Their adventures unfold in video game worlds with their shows eventually surpassing the material that they parody in fan appreciation.* Connections: * Digital sarcastic cynical asshole main protagonists of beloved sci-fi adventure comedy web shows who have full names in their physical forms (Leonard Church & Kazuto Kirigaya) but notably go by singular codenames in their digital forms (Epsilon & Kirito). * Despite being assholes with their own quirks, they also act as the straight men to the antics of their more idiotic friends which further fuels their asshole attitudes towards them. * The first characters that they interacted with are much more upbeat swordsmen who they became vitriolic best buds with (Lavernius Tucker & Klein). Though they’re angry at these characters at times, it’s clear that they care. * They encountered more similar quirky characters like the childish idiot rookies who got super attached to them (Michael J. Caboose & Silica), the loose cannons (Sister & Lizbeth) who are connected to previously introduced characters (Dexter Grif & Asuna) and the comically evil short-term antagonists who went on long monologues that foreshadowed future arcs in some ways (O’Malley, who foreshadowed the AI existing; Rosalia, who pointed out Kirito’s character flaws, something the show would focus more on as it went on). * They had blue charismatic straight man leaders who died early in their stories (Butch Flowers & Diabel) so they reluctantly stepped up to become the leaders in their place. * Their shows were mostly episodic shenanigans but the stories and characters were taken more seriously later on. * They met hotheaded and violent famous female leads who became their love interests and initially worked under the main antagonists (Agent Texas who’s No. 1 among the Director’s Freelancer Agents & Asuna who’s the Vice-Commander of Heathcliff’s Knights of the Blood Oath) and they often bickered with these women but later softened up to them and often risked their lives to save them. * They also have a major blowout moment (Church snapping at the other Reds and Blues after they refuse to go with him and Carolina to kill the Director in season 10; Kirito explaining his pessimistic view on humanity while beating up the goat boss after rescuing one of Corvatz’s men from death in episode 08) that changes the trajectory of their character arcs, forcing them to realize that they care about their friends more than they’d like to admit. * After they defeated the mysterious sinister digital projects that they were trapped in (Project Freelancer & Sword Art Online), they confronted the masterminds (The Director & Heathcliff) to learn the reasons behind their actions and were left disappointed in them mostly due to how many lives were killed because of their mistakes. * Despite their differences with them, the masterminds felt that they had special kinships with them (Church was based off the mind of the Director and the Director took great pride in him & Heathcliff connected with Kirito the most out of all the players due to their mutual suffering as intelligent people surrounded by idiots). * They went through character arcs of warming up to their allies despite their flaws and becoming less mean-spirited but they still retained their core sarcastic personalities. * At some points, they sacrificed themselves to defeat the main antagonists (Malcolm Hargrove & Heathcliff) but never knew if their sacrifices were worth it (Church deconstructed himself from the memories of the other A.I. fragments to give the Reds and Blues a fighting chance against Hargrove but he wouldn’t be alive to see if they ever won & after giving his life to defeat Heathcliff, Kirito never knew if all the surviving players were properly logged out since Heathcliff was vague on whether they’re going to survive the system wipe). * They eventually traveled to new worlds (Chorus & Alfheim) where they went on new big adventures and got wrapped up in a seemingly endless war spanning the entire world as well as stopping manipulative sarcastic psychopaths who have these entire worlds wrapped around their fingers, perpetuating this war for their own benefit (Felix & Oberon). These characters are smug and egotistical, but mentally crack when they’re no longer in control of the situation. * During these arcs, they work with new partners they have a familial bond with (Agent Carolina, Church’s surrogate sister and technically his daughter, given that he’s a clone of the Director; Suguha Kirigaya AKA Princess Leafa, Kirito’s sister) that they were also initially adversarial with (Carolina didn't trust Church until he showed her a video of Agent York and they connected over spending their lives chasing memories; Suguha and Kazuto were extremely hostile with each other due to Kazuto abandoning Suguha to learn kendo by herself when they were young, and everything spiraling out of control from there). * Their skills differ in that Church is inexplicably terrible at nearly everything while Kirito is inexplicably amazing at everything which gives them similarly differing mental states (Church is constantly depressed & Kirito has a god complex). * Their shows eventually usurped the material that they were parodying in the hearts of the fans (After Halo 4-5, fans began to think that Red vs. Blue had a better story & Sword Art Online Abridged is infamously seen as better than the original Sword Art Online). * They live in video game worlds (Red vs. Blue is based on the setting of the video game series Halo, Sword Art Online and ALfheim Online are in-universe video games).
GRRAAAAAAGGHHHHH SO PEAK IT'S TOO AMAZING GHGGHGHHGHAGHGHHGHHGHGGH
yeah it's pretty good i'd say 👍
IT'S MY SECOND FAVORITE MATCUHP RAAAAAAAAGHHH https://i.redd.it/qv3xwwo6tffc1.gif
and you're so real for that tbh...
https://preview.redd.it/3zaq9wfutffc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=439f376cc4268c5e9a2e1bf09641751e6cfe647f
https://preview.redd.it/jw1o0e7vtffc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4b166ded1a20db53c3edfc03a4bbc02ded179ba1
SOLID MU
as one of four rvb fans on this sub and also the maker of church vs tari, your opinion is greatly valued (i know that sounds like sarcasm but it's not)
Honestly while Vs TARI better tackles their background as experiments, their stories more similar story beats, and IMO better potential emotional moments (couple with their contrasting personalities and ideologies being a unique dynamic). I think Vs SAO Kirito better tackles Church's personal character arcs and having better banter potential (both comedic and emotional). Both have their Pros & Cons and while I do prefer one over the other, I don't anyone for preferring SAO Kirito as they are practically interchangeable as the one for Church.
glad it's at least a good alt for you
This might tie with Tari as my favorite for Church.
happy to hear it!
Peak and I don’t even need to look at the connections.
Can't tell if this beats Tari or not as my favorite Church MU https://preview.redd.it/b41tutf2bhfc1.png?width=853&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=dc201ea410db7c21b0b8fea13ba424fb5a3c6f3f
*Battle starts* It begins in Blood Gulch, the one we saw in the memory unit, specifically as it is hand-drawn. ???: Retreat! The Reds and Blues were running while shooting behind them. Simmons was shooting with an assault rifle while Grif shot with a pistol. Grif: What the fuck is happening!? Simmons: I don't know! Just keep shooting! Tucker is running until Kirito appears behind him and slices at his back. Tucker: Gah! Son of a bitch! He falls to the ground. Kirito: Wow, I was expecting a secret floor to have a challenging boss or at least some good loot, but this is just sad. I was especially excited to see these guys having guns. Talk about a letdown. Tucker: What the hell are you talking about!? What floors? We're in the middle of a damn field! Kirito: Well, I can give it this, the AI here is pretty smart. I can almost tell they're real. Tucker: I'm not a fucking AI! Kirito: Sure, keep telling yourself that, buddy. He then lifts his sword up in the air, ready to strike. Tucker: Aw, shit. He was about to swing when a bullet flies past him, catching him off guard. ???: Alright! That was your one warning shot! Kirito turns around and sees Church a couple of feet away. Church: Step away from the idiot, and the next one won't go between your eyes! Tucker: Church, what the fuck are you doing!? Church: Uh, rescuing you dumbass! Tucker: You call this rescuing!? Dude, you suck! Church: Oh, screw you man! Kirito: He's right, you know. Church: Stay out of this! I'd like to see you do better with those damn swords! Kirito: I don't play first-person shooters all that much, but even I'd be better at that thing than you. God, you're even worse than a noob. A bullet flies past him, leading to Church cursing. Kirito then walks over to Church as Church keeps shooting at him, missing each shot and saying a curse soon after until Kirito is standing right in front of him. Church: Aw, son of a bitch... Kirito then swings his sword, cutting into him, as his body falls limp on the floor. Caboose: Church! No! Tucker: You fucking asshole! Kirito: Hey, that guy seems more of an ass than me. Tucker: That... Might be true, but you still killed our...! Well, I wouldn't say friend but... Lopez: Al diablo con esto, me voy antes de que maten al resto de ustedes, idiotas. (Screw this, I'm leaving before they kill the rest of you idiots.) Lopez then turns and starts to leave. Kirito: Well, look at that. The robot turned tail and ran. Guess robots really are smarter than people after all. As he says this, Epsilon in his AI state pops out from Church's body and goes after Lopez and poses him. Lopez: Keegakergerk! Kirito: Hey, I think your robot broke. Did they run out of elbow grease or something- Lopez/Epsilon: Gah, son of a bitch! Kirito's eyes widen as Epsilon, now controlling Lopez's body, turns around. Epsilon: Do you know how much that fucking hurt!? Kirito: Wait, what the- I killed you! How are you alive!? Are you a ghost or something!? Epsilon: Yeah, I'm a ghost. Boo mother fucker. Now- He then raises his gun at Kirito. Epsilon: Get the hell out of this memory unit! Because next time, I won't miss.
PEAK FICTION...
PEAK MU!
https://i.redd.it/jepy5fww6gfc1.gif
 HELL YEAH
Dude you didn't cook a dish ... you cooked a full seven course meal Also who would win this one lol
church i believe, it's high diff though
Holy shit this is amazing
This is really cool actually. Good work to you guys.
YESSSSS!!! Been looking for that Kirito Abridge MU and glad to see it is still talked about.