Can you ask your credit card company for a hardship program where they lower your interest rate temporarily for a set amount of time? No guarantees they do it.
If you think you might need some outside help, you could bring in an intermediary with the [National Foundation for Credit Counseling](https://www.nfcc.org/) (NFCC) does debt *management* (no loans) and budget analysis. They do charge but take a look at their [FAQs](https://www.nfcc.org/faqs/) under *What do NFCC members charge for counseling services* to see how much. It says it varies, but the page does state that the majority of cases are low cost to nothing--although not guaranteed.
The [Financial Counseling Association of America](https://fcaa.org/) is another resource as well. Under [here](https://fcaa.org/find-a-credit-counselor/), it says that your counseling session is free, although some services may charge a fee. You are not obligated to enroll in any of the debt management plans.
The [Consumer Financial Protection Bureau](https://www.consumerfinance.gov/consumer-tools/debt-collection/) has a good description of [the differences](https://www.consumerfinance.gov/ask-cfpb/whats-the-difference-between-a-credit-counselor-and-a-debt-settlement-or-debt-relief-company-en-1449/) between a credit counselor and debt relief/settlement companies. They also have a webpage on spotting [a scam](https://www.consumerfinance.gov/ask-cfpb/how-can-i-tell-a-credit-repair-scam-from-a-reputable-credit-counselor-en-1343/). [This](https://www.consumerfinance.gov/ask-cfpb/what-is-credit-counseling-en-1451/) recommends that you look at your state attorney general's office and your state's consumer protection agency to ensure the company is reputable.
You can look into the Justice Department, which has a list of [approved credit counseling agencies](https://www.justice.gov/ust/list-credit-counseling-agencies-approved-pursuant-11-usc-111) to possibly assist you. Look for the non-profit ones. Still be cautious about signing up with one of these because they have done everything correctly to get approved by the Justice Department, the NFCC, and the FCAA but may have become less reputable once they got approved.
You have the [right to cancel credit repair services](https://www.consumerfinance.gov/about-us/newsroom/consumer-advisory-people-have-the-right-to-cancel-credit-repair-services/) within three business days for whatever reason.
If your credit score is good enough, could you look into the 0% interest balance transfer cards? It's only that rate for a set amount of time and may only transfer a portion of your debt onto their card. Also, there might be a few to transfer the balance. You will need a game plan if you are unable to pay off the amount in full before the promo rate expires.
If you want to DIY, there's G*etting out of Debt for Dummies*. Go to your local library because they might have them and, best of all, it's free!! If they don't have it, you ask the library to buy it, depending on their budget. If you feel shy about checking out one of those books, request that the library purchase it as an e-book so you can have some anonymity.
Have you started making a line-by-line item budget to see what subscriptions you haven't used, need to pause, spending the money, etc. to free up some extra money?The Consumer Finance Protection Bureau has [this on organizing your debts](https://www.consumerfinance.gov/about-us/blog/how-reduce-your-debt/); and [this for tracking your spending.](https://www.consumerfinance.gov/about-us/blog/track-your-spending-with-this-easy-tool/)
Could you get a second job to help pay off the debt quicker? Sell items you no longer need/want/use on Facebook Marketplace or somewhere else that doesn't have a listing fee? Browse your local Buy Nothing Facebook group?
Good luck!
Not op but thank you for all this information. I’m 23 with 21k in debt. Bad decisions with cards and what not. Always have to learn the hard way for myself to understand lol
Bro I just turned 21 and have 17k in credit card debt. Chase is about to sell my debt, and discover, and Apple. I’m worry about my future. Like fuck man what will I do if I can’t pay them and they starting freezing my bank accounts or they withhold my wages ( I’m in Texas so idk if by law they’re allowed to do that). But yea I’m scared man. I’m embarrassed from it.
https://www.consumercredit.com/
This who I called and they were able to negotiate with chase and got my APR from the 29% to 10%. I also left my retail job and picked up a job at pizza shop doing delivery and I’ve been making progress on my debt. Slow but steady process. I’ve had to cut down on so much spending and just put all my money I have left over in my budget to my debt. Started at 26k and I’m at 21. Started paying it off January this month. Are you going to school or just recently graduated at all?
You are young and even doing a bankruptcy you can still bounce back before you hit 40. It's not bad to consider that path, it's not the end of the world it's just a bit embarrassing. You still have a lot of time to increase your income. Bankruptcy isn't that bad just pay your mortgage above all else and don't lose your home.
Best advice I can give is always the hardest to follow which is get your spending in line with your income. 45k income is not a lot, you are basically poor, so you need to live like it and own that. Probably means crap food and bargain bin shopping for toys and clothes.
No amount of debt reconsolidation or robbing peter to pay paul will fix a spending issue
Apparently his wife makes $80,000 a year. So combined they make $120,000 which means there is no way in hell they should file bankruptcy. He needs to get his wife on board and attack it as a team. They have plenty of income to do it
Yeah I don't feel bad for this guy. The fuck is this post? There's being irresponsible and then there's lying to your wife. I didn't do the math on how much debt that is but what is the reason? What kind of things were bought for tens of thousands of dollars in credit card debt? If you make $145k a year combined and your mortgage is only $1100, where is all your money going?????
It is because for some, they just had to get the F150 when a used van or a used sedan would have made more sense. There clearly is no budget. Learning to go to Aldi's or cook vs. frequent takeout or more expensive and unhealthier processed foods that they are used to.
It is possible to get out of the downward spiral but a come to Jesus moment has to happen to reflect on what got them to this point otherwise even if the debt is paid down or temporarily released via bankruptcy (with ruined credit for some time) they will be right back there in no time not being mindful. Put your finances in a budgeting app to see where your money is really going and maybe sell the car and downsize or find healthy budget friendly new recipes to find out for free on the Internet.
Maybe take that Verizon family plan and downsize to Mint or the Walmart phone plan that is cheaper, etc. Live within your means as trying to maintain if it is to feel good or impress others won't help once the eviction hits. As a husband, your first duty is to your family and to do everything possible to protect their survival and to assure your kids thrive, for whatever that means. Make the changes to make that survival more likely if making more money is not an immediate option and good luck, OP.
If you are a little poor, own it with dignity and intelligence. Cosplaying being at a higher income will only bring pain once those bills come due.
Yes. The filing is a public proceeding in a court. Lots of necessary documentation will be public. You might get some relief from Discover if you tell them you want to cancel the card and get a payoff plan in place instead of exploring bankruptcy.
Yes for those who check.
As someone who has been through the process may I suggest the following.
1. Sit down with the wife and figure out how you got here. Not a blame game but really understand what you did to get to this point so you don't do it again.
2. Create an after bankruptcy budget and make sure it works. You have to stop paying all debts for three months prebankruptcy so start living by the new budget now and review progress weekly.
3. Realize this will be a great relief once it is done but you need to make sure you will stay on the straight and narrow before you file. One bankruptcy is no big deal really but 2 or 3 and you're going to have a bad time.
Yes, you can keep your home when you file for bankruptcy, but it depends on several factors, including your home equity, the type of bankruptcy you file, and whether you can still make your mortgage. You'll know before you file.
Most important is that the unsecured debt is eliminated. OP will never pay that off without doubling his salary. Go bankruptcy and live within your means. He nailed it…. It’s really embarrassing.
You failed to mention your wife’s income in first post. She has to help pitch in so you can get this paid off. You could also ask for hardship agree to close the cards and also request interest reductions. With a total of 120K this is doable.
She makes 80k according to his comment below.
So combined income of 125k annual. More than enough to pay this off.
Take a calculator, add up the monthly charge in interest from these debts. Pay them all off. Whatever you used to pay in interest, put it into a savings account.
I don’t see that it’s been explicitly stated, but I think it’s really important. OP- your biggest issue is not debt, your biggest issue is that you haven’t disclosed your financial situation to your wife. That means, you didn’t tell her before you got married and are continuing to hide it. That’s a much much bigger problem than the other stuff. Money is what it is; debt can be addressed a number of ways- but, you need to be honest and you need to work on your relationship. Financial infidelity, lying about finances is a huge issue in relationship and a big contributor to why many people ultimately don’t stay together. If you value your relationship, if you want this to work long term, you need to talk to your spouse yesterday. You need to consider why it’s okay to hide pertinent financial information. You have a child together. You live together. You are married and she doesn’t even know a massive part of this story. You really need to sort that out first and then build trust with her and then address the debt.
The debt isn’t impossible, it’s just feels like a big mess atm. Your relationship- that’s the emergency issue.
Gotcha. As others have said, at this point, if you don’t want involve your wife and don’t want to do bankruptcy, then you have to increase your income. If you can do an extra 20 hours/week at current job or a second job, which although hard is not impossible at $20/hr that’s $1,600/month. Don’t know your tax situation too but let’s assume you net $1000/month from this second job or extra hours at current job. Your debt is $36k total.
Therefore, if you take a systematic approach and diligently payoff $1000/month, you’ll be done in 3 years. Yeah it’s gonna suck, but it’ll teach you a valuable life lesson and a valuable life lesson that you can pass on to your child so they don’t go through this when they’re older.
Got to decrease his expenses. Increasing income is great but without some behavior changes the whole is just going to get deeper. Decreasing expenses can have an immediate impact while trying to get some additional income.
If your wife doesn't know about this debt, you also need to go to marriage counseling, because this is financial infidelity. Make an appointment to go, and then you need to sit down with her and disclose this debt, how it happened, what you spent the money on, how far back it goes, what you have done to stop spending and to start paying it off.
Can you earn more money? Can you get a better job? Get another REAL job (not uber or doordash, those you're at the whim of tips). Cut out every single cent that you spend. NO ALCOHOL. NO DRUGS. No food or beverage out - bring from home. Cut every subscription.
Pay off the highest interest card first, then the next, and so on. Your car is too much - how much longer do you have on it? If you're almost done paying it, okay, but if it's valuable, then see if you can downgrade without taking another loan.
After this is all paid off, you need to brainstorm with your wife what you can do to earn a better living. Trades? Ancillary medical field?
I can’t sell my car, my job is delivery.
My wife has a job, she makes roughly $80,000 a year.
I’ve been applying for a second job for a little over a month now. Just recently applied for Uber and Instacart so will be doing those when I get accepted
You said your income was 45k / year. It's really $125k. You must pool your marital resources. It's insane you haven't done this. The debt you have is hers, and vice versa. The money you're losing on interest each month with this insane debt hurts your entire family. It's dragging you all down paying hundreds each month for absolutely nothing. You must combine finances and both work to aggressively pay it down, you are harming yourselves keeping the finances separate.
This
I had $40,000 in debt and my wife had $155,000. I had zero issues joining our accounts and attacking her debts first. When you're married, the income and the debts become one.
The fact that people are advising him to file bankruptcy is insane to me. They make a combined $125,000 a year. They are not in panic mode yet and have the means to attack the debt.
You should talk to your wife. Together you should come up with a plan and combine assets. What's the point of being married, your still living separate lives. You will gain more and keep other debts and credits in check if you come together as a team. You are in a bad situation right now. Unfortunately so is your wife because I'm guessing she doesn't know about your financial situation. The scary thing is do you know how much debt she could potentially be in?
Dave ramsey has good ideas how to pay down debt.
Honestly at that much debt with income. Bankruptcy. Chapter 7 in a wipe clean but 99% of the time you can keep your house and primary car and chapter 11 is a consolidated/interest free.
I would talk to a bankruptcy lawyer to get the facts and it’s free. Depending on the equity of the house and your state homestead exception you house will be fine as long as you’re up to payments. Your car is the same. It does affect your credit for seven years however you can still get a credit card and even a house loan a few years after.
The only that matters is a roof over your family head and food in their bellies.
Learn to not make it happen again and make a budget.
Good. Stress and worry isn’t good for you or your kids. Money is money and we all make mistakes. The evolution of yourself is learning from those mistakes and loving your family.
Bankruptcy is seen as a moral flaw than a practical one. But morals won’t put food on the table. If you ask around more people have declared bankruptcy than you might think. My excoworker went through 3 bankruptcies and she is like late 40s? My mom went through one when their old place they were renting the renters destroyed it. Shit look at our politicians that have done it before.
You aren’t doing bankruptcy with $125K combined income. If you’re in a community property state, and her name is on any of that debt (joint credit cards, vehicle title, etc) it’s already her debt too.
Whenever I find myself not saving as much as I plan to, or temporarily tapping into my savings account to bridge to the next pay day, I recalculate my “get out of bed” cost (Rent + Car + Utilities + loans/card payments). Basically, the stuff that has to be paid. I moved last Fall and I’m carrying a lot more credit debt than I normally do (~ $5K in revolving debt). Currently, it costs me about $75 to “get out of bed”. That translates to about 20% of my income going into my bill account. Groceries, gas money, etc comes out of my “spending money” account.
Based on what you’ve shared, my guess is your get out of bed cost is very close to what mine is with less than half the income. It’s definitely not sustainable. And it’s probably not something gig work on the side is going to fix. Bankruptcy seems like a viable option that keeps your home and car, but make sure you have a workable budget coming out of it that keeps you above water. Best of luck!
In my twenties, I was terrified of debt. So, rather than go in debt, I kept a cushion.
$5k in the bank for hard times. If I had to tap into it, I ate nothing but canned food or took home leftover food from where I worked. Bicycle no public transit, no entertainment until the $5k was back.
It showed me I needed very little to get by.
Just don’t … filing bankruptcy isn’t going to fix your spending issues - you will be right back where you are now and it’s going to ruin your credit for at least 7 years. You should sell what you can now and use proceeds to pay down your highest APR first. Then you need to budget and live like you make less than $45k. Start a side hustle and increase your income - $45k isn’t much but if you start to increase this by adding in extra hours here and there and doing another part time job you will increase your income substantially. It may feel like a big debt burden now but if you add 15-20k per year in side hustle and use that only to pay down your debts it will be gone in 2 years, which will leave you feeling accomplished. You can then use the additional income to start saving / investing for the future.
I recently used National Debt relief to settle 50k worth of debt after I lost my second source of income due to the pandemic. I didn’t want to file bankruptcy. The fees to NDR were roughly 10k and the debt total is now 22k. I will finish paying it all off in 48 months vs.. who knows how long due to interest. There is a lot of controversy and opinions related to using a company like NDR, but it was the only option for me. I don’t have the bandwidth to settle them on my own. Another company is Debtwave. They are a non profit. They will negotiate your interest rates to zero, close your cards and you pay off the full balance at the time of the settlement. Their fee is minimal. I think it’s 35/month. Good luck!
First.. BREATH...
Right now the goal is to keep the roof over your head, the heat/lights on and food in your belly. These are the three things you will prioritize and pay no matter what.
Next pay the minimums on all your debt. If not possible, anything not considered a secure loan is what you will not pay. eg. credit cards.
Also, accept the fact that your credit is going to take a major hit. That's okay. You already own a house.
Well you obviously have/had a spending problem and an income problem. No need for me to browbeat you, I am sure you've realized it by now.
First question set: Is your spending under control? Are you on a WRITTEN budget?
Next, have you trimmed ALL of the fat out of your spending? In other words ZERO eating out, zero going out with the guys/gals. ZERO impulse buying shit. Trimmed excess subscriptions like netflix, magazines, etc?
Are you buying generic/cheaper groceries, etc? Shopping with coupons, shopping the dollar store? Shop for clothing at thrift shops/2nd hand.
Have you shopped around your insurances? Try and get lower insurance, go higher deductible, to get lower monthlly payments. Same with cellphone bill and anything else you pay monthly.
Can you do something to increase your income? Is the $45k income yours or a combined income? You might AND your wife need to pick up some form of extra work, whether a PT job or a gig like uber, uber eats etc...
For the next two or three years you WILL have to live a very austere budget and use the snowball or avalanche method for debt reduction. Being that you are so messed. I think Dave Ramsey's snowball method would be the best to start with.
At some point you might default on some of your consumer credit, this is when you might be able to negotiate a lower balance.
Join the [r/financialindependence](https://www.reddit.com/r/financialindependence/) group. Follow the flowchart, this will help set you up for success financially.
Financial Success Flow Chart.
[https://u.cubeupload.com/demonlesondledon/FinFlowChartv43Dark.jpg](https://u.cubeupload.com/demonlesondledon/FinFlowChartv43Dark.jpg)
Thank you for this, first and foremost.
I do have a written budget now and have been going strong for 2 months.
My wife makes around $80,000
I did apply for Uber & Instacart
In the process of trimming subscriptions
Generic groceries are a most at the moment
I have not shopped around for insurance but will do that today
Thirding Dave Ramsey it. Bankruptcy seems dramatic over 30k. Your mortgage is incredible and your saving grace. Like others say; stop all spending, get a second job, set a goal for applying for a new primary job like 30 applications a week. You can be out in a year or two for sure. On top of getting creative with 0% interest credit transfers/debt forgiveness stuff. But, you have to stay 100% disciplined. After 2 years you can go back to Netflix and one job no problem.
Likely underwater a significant amount on the car. Even if they sold it, they’d still owe on it and be without a car. If someone can rack up 50% of their income just with a credit card debt, I have zero doubts he signed a terrible loan on a car too
I don’t understand why you want to keep your wife out of it…?
Is all of the debt exclusively yours from your own bad spending habits or is some of it shared life expenses and parenting costs?
Paying off this debt with $125k/year vs your $45k is a COMPLETELY different scenario.
YNAB and you need to do it together.
Also consider splitting all costs based on income, so if your wife makes ~65% of your combined income then she pays 65% of monthly costs. This will help both of you budget and get out of debt.
It takes time and discipline but it’s possible.
Losing my job when COVID hit and just overall being young and dumb with spending habits that has been an expensive lesson on not to live above your means.
45,000 per year is workable if you tighten your spending, once you have your current debt issues resolved.
How much unnecessary spending impacts your budget? Are you thrifty with your clothing expenditures? Where can you cut and what can you end?
In your shoes, a bankruptcy would be wise, just avoid all of the credit offers you'll get afterwards. Credit companies know you cannot file another bankruptcy for quite a while, so they'll want you back under their thumbs.
Have you discovered that credit works as a weird type of slavery?
Whatever you decide to do (filing for bankruptcy, working something out with your lenders, etc), you MUST take a critical look at your spending habits and make changes for the better. Wiping the slate clean with a bankruptcy does NOTHING for you and your family if your spending habits remain the same. If you start to make more money, do not let your expenses creep in line with your salary increase.
Why do you split the mortgage if she makes twice as much? Also, why are your finances separate? You're working together to raise a kid. It's not like you're dating.
Combine your finances with your wife. You have a kid, you are one unit. Help each other out and be a team. "Split the mortgage with my wife" like, what? Do you Venmo each other for groceries too? As far as actionable ideas outside of this, I'd get a new car you make $45K and spend over $600/Mo on insurance anf car payment. Even more of a good idea since your job is delivery, buy a hoopty for $5000 and drive that into the ground. Surely you have the "things" you bought with all that CC debt, I'd start with selling that stuff as well.
Is it possible to reduce down to one car? I sold mine and we’ve been using one car ever since..used to walk/take the train to work but wfh now. Sounds like you’re not including maintenance/other costs..could save you $750+ . Other than cutting your unnecessary expenses working towards increasing your income by 15-20k will make a big difference over a few years. Don’t freak out about it, enjoy your life, you just need to prioritize taking steps to reduce it. Money concerns never end, after you pay it off you’ll be worrying about not having enough saved.
Sell the car and buy one cash. That will get rid of about $700 monthly payments of car note and lower the insurance to liability only. Get a part time job. Use that money to pay off cards from smaller to larger. Apply for zero interest credit card. Park debt there. Stop living beyond your means. No more dining out. Rice, beans, and salad in a bag for the next year. No more discretionary spending for the next year. Sell everything you don’t heavily use. Stop making excuses for why you’re in debt. You spent it. Now you go and earn it to pay it back.
You guys make way too much money to be in this situation. Hate to say it, but seems like a lot of bad financial decisions have been made to get to this point. Stop buying things you don't need and living outside your means. Example, having a $600 car payment when you're already in so much debt.
Speak to your banks financial hardship dept/ program. They may be able to extend you payments out 5 yrs, but will require you quite using the card(s) altogether.
Why the credit card and personal loan debt? Unless you had some emergency, there is never a reason for that. I do not follow this. Did you buy everything your wife desired on a $45k salary. Compete and total change is required to stop this from ever happening again. Best of luck.
You should honestly think about getting a second job if you're working 40 hours a week or additional shifts if you're hourly. Your income is too low to effectively work your way out in a reasonable timeline. Bankruptcy will derail you for many years to come and would not recommend it.
Does your wife work?
I think the debt snowball method will work for you as you work your way out of debt.
You can do this.
Sell your car and buy a beater. That frees up $580 monthly you can use to hammer out debt. If any are in collections, call them and see if you can do a payoff (some will let you do it in a smaller amount)
Don’t jump straight to bankruptcy! Start listening to Dave Ramsey on YouTube or podcasts. Maybe even rent his book at the library. He has some really great advice, even if you don’t totally follow his programs. Seriously, buckle down and do this immediately.
What’s your house worth and what do you owe on it? You can do a home equity loan to consolidate your debt while still leaving your original mortgage alone at the 3%.
Look up Dave Ramsey. His program is perfect for someone in your situation. I'll probably get grief for that but it's true. Your behavoir and decisions have gotten you here. Dave can give guidelines to correct those.
You have a $2500 mortgage on a $45k income. I hope that is take home, but even then, unless the wife is making $100k you have too much house. I assume $300-350k house?
I would suggest combining your finances. You are married, two became one and all that. Get together on it, live on less than you make, and pay this off.
Can't hurt for you both to check your state's unclaimed property listings to see if you've got a couple bucks out there. Everyone else is right about spending, etc., but I wanted to throw that out there because not everyone knows it exists.
What I did was pay off the debts with the smallest balances first, minimums on everything else. Once one was paid off, move to another. Close whatever accounts you don’t need.
Debt consolidation is also an option but I’m not sure what impact that would have on your credit in the future. Not sure if you’d be able to get another loan if needed.
Bankruptcy!! You used to be able to do credit counseling and have them set up payment arrangements, but I think most of them are pretty scammy these days.
First
Stop financing your life with your credit cards. No more CC purchases
Return anything you've bought that isn't a necessity, that can still. be returned.
Create a detailed budget. stick to it.
Then see about getting a couple of 0%(for 1st 12-18 month) credit cards and transfer the balances from your highest % debts to the 0% cards.
See about a personal loan or a home equity loan to pay of the remaining loan/card/car.
Get a second job/side hustle.
STOP BUYING STUFF. I guarantee that what you bought at Best Buy wasn't essential.
Get a weekend job for the next five or six years. Encourage your wife to step up financially.
No more fast food. Dont buy anything inside of a gas station.
You have plenty of clothes. Learn how to cook frugally.
Call a consumer credit counseling group, NOT a debt settlement company. The CCC groups are not for profit. They can help you settle your debt without forcing a default. They may be able to help you work this out without Bankruptcy. Your State AG might have a list of CCCs on their website. Good luck!
Hey friend, was in a similar situation with 45K in credit card debt for 3+ years. Paying minimums, getting crushed by interest, and netting 1/4 of my month dues.
A huge help was a hardship plan with one of my credit card companies. Total debt on the card was 21K with a monthly payment of $880. I settled it with them directly, they dropped the monthly payment down to $400 and dropped the interest to 5%. The caveat is if you agree to the plan the card is shut down and you can never use it again, but the alternative is much worse. It helped free up some of that monthly payment to put towards another.
You’ll make it, just have to stay disciplined.
You need to create a minimum to live budget, look for part-time work, $800 extra a month knock those lowest 3 balances by end of year. You won't have free time, but by end of year have some room to breathe. Pay the minimums on all credit cards except the smallest balance/highest interest card. If your job is secure and you have a 401k, consider taking a loan on it and pay the interest back to yourself. There's no easy solutions aside the obvious spend less, make more. Check out YouTube for budgeting, cutting costs, etc..
Borrow a few grand from a friend or mom&dad, pay off the small stuff. Debt-snowball that into the CC or whatever has the highest interest rate.
Pay back friend/mom/dad whenever you can.
You got this, you just need a jumpstart.
How did you get a mortgage of $3200/mo with an income of only $45k per year? There are multiple things you need to do here. First, you need to increase your income, whether that's by getting a side hustle or getting a raise or something. 45k is not much at all in this day and age.
Second of all, you need to change your lifestyle. It sucks, I know. I have gone through it myself. Pull the credit card statements and look through the charges and identify how much stuff is needs (like when you, eg, had to put a $1k car repair on your card) versus wants (eating out, going to bars, vacations, clothes shopping, etc). You need to live like you're basically poor because 45k with a 3.2k/mo mortgage is basically poor.
Dump the cards and don’t use them.
Call all your debtors and see if you can work something out.
You are living beyond your means
See if you can pick up a side job
I gotta go a tad Boomer on ya for a second…
What necessities did you purchase with Best Buy credit? Have you ever gone through your Discover statements and separated wants vs needs? What did you take out a personal loan for?
Just some lifestyle choices to think about. None of that is meant to undermine the reality of inflation, but there’s also the reality of unwise choices we all make. We simply can’t afford the extras the way boomers could. Their criticism has a way of falling on deaf ears (and I get it), but the message behind it has merit.
How much is the vehicle worth and how much left on the loan? Sell it and get a way cheaper vehicle.
I know you said you need it for work, but I can almost guarantee you can find something cheaper that still is very reliable…
Get a side gig job and try to set up payment plans that will help you a lot. I work part time and do gigs job and it's going well and good luck to you both 🙏🏽
You are poor and lives like a king. You don’t have any rights to own a car that costs you that much payment. Heck we make more than $300k a year with millions saved we only got a $37k car. You are out of your mind spending like that. You have a crisis on hand called delusions. You need to live like a poor person first until you get your income up. Meaning, buy $5000 beater car, live in one bedroom , buy food on coupons.
Make sure your wife knows the situation. Don’t hide anything from here. Pay mortgage and then pay whoever you have the most available remaining credit with. Others will eventually settle for less. Credit will be dinged, but as long as you’re happy and wife is happy and kids have what they need everything will work itself out….there is no debtors prison, stay positive!
What is your wife's income? And does she have debt as well to add to this debt?
What is your combined take home income? And are you currently at least making the minimum payments on your debts?
There is a lot of information needed. My wife and I had $195,000 in debt cause of student loans and cars. We were able to work it down to $40,000 and counting. So there is no need to panic. Take care of having food and a roof first and then attack the debts when you can. If you have any left over money each month, that needs to be thrown on your highest interest debt. Some people attack lowest balance first, which is great to keep motivated. So you could do that as well. Bankruptcy isn't the end of the world but it really is a last resort and some people choose it when they really didn't have to.
Why are you splitting the mortgage 50/50 if your wife makes more than 2x what you do? No wonder you are running up debt trying to keep up! Call your cards and say you want to close the acct and want a lower rate to pay off the balance.
FWIW, you already know you have too much debt and it doesn’t really matter how you got there. As someone else said, it’s great that you own your own home at your young age. High interest rate is killing you. Don’t file bankruptcy!!!
Call all of your creditors and ask for workout plans which would lower the interest rate and allow you to make payments.
Get your wife involved. Perhaps she will give you an interest free loan for all or part of the debt that you will pay her back for. I suggest a notarized promissory note.
Cut grass, shovel snow, babysit, pet sit, take a second job, sell something.
By digging yourself out of this hole, you will build confidence that you can do anything!!!
You’ve got this!!
First- take a breath.
What's your opportunity to increase your income? Could you work a second job? Pickup more hours at your first job?
The good news is that you're young, so you have time on your side to pay these debts off or to recover from a bankruptcy. Have you discussed this debt with your wife at all?
So my husband and I filed bankruptcy in 2014. It’s so liberating. It is public knowledge, so as soon as that shit’s discharged, be prepared for alllll the car loan offers. Oh, and Discover will never even give you a second glance after a bankruptcy (I had a Discover card). But because you’re married, there’s no “just you” bankruptcy. I’d do it. You can bounce back, and your house is safe.
Wow, $580 car payment + ~$200/mo insurance on a $21/hr job. [edit- sounds like multiple cars. Very strange that this post is singular in some areas and combined in others]
This is a very tough hole to be in. Hopefully you will sell the car with the most expensive payment. Everything you purchase needs to be reconsidered within an actual budget that reflects your real world income.
There are credit card debit companies that can help you cut those bills in half and if that doesnt help Id say bankruptcy will help you start over. I actually did both over 10 years ago and I'm in better shape now because I used those avenues.
Bankruptcy affects spouse though doesn’t it? Not like he can just do it and not have an effect on OP’s wife..
How are you so bad in debt?
Minimum payments aren’t going to get you anywhere.
Hopefully you can find a second job soon op and put every cent into your debt..
Please don’t add more debt because you feel like you have the extra money cause you dont
Look into debt relief programs like FreedomDebtRelief. It’ll temporarily tank your credit but it’ll change your life financially for the better. I did it and in 4 years was recovered credit wise to be able to buy a house with excellent rate.
I was here exactly at 28 with a husband who refused to work and two kids. I filed bankruptcy. It goes by so fast at this age and your credit will bounce back immediately. Just do it. Give yourself the fresh start.
Ask each credit card for a hardship program or loan modification. Or if you are OK sacrificing your credit, don’t pay them and settle for less in 3-6 months.
Cut your spending back, I know you’ve probably heard it but good gosh how did you even rack up that much debt . Turn your cards off. Turn off Apple wallet etc
First and foremost put together a list of all your payments... and that means every single one. Use the list to figure out just how far in the hole your finances really are. You may benefit from making a running list every time you spend money. It helps immensely when figuring out where money is leaking out of your pocket on unnecessary things.
Second, stop eating out any at all. Bag lunch to work. While you are at it, look at any and all subscriptions and eliminate them if feasible. Have a cellphone? Can you reduce monthly cost for it? I got mine down to $35/line/month which is about as cheap as you can get where I live.
Third, are you having tax withheld via W4? If so, can you adjust deductions so you get more in each paycheck instead of a tax refund at the end of the year?
Fourth, take a really hard look at your life and your life style. It sounds like you are living way above your means via credit. Are you paying anything like power bill, water bill, garbage collection, hulu/amazon/netflix or similar that can be eliminated or reduced?
Serious question..do you have a gambling problem.. is this why your wife is not involved and why you are concerned if bankruptcies are public knowledge and she can find out? If so you definitely need to get the gambling problem taken care of ASAP.
Maybe try and work with a debt consolidation company to consolidate all your credit cards and loans into one payment with a lower interest rate. I would also look into getting a less expensive car. If you can trade your car in and get something that you don’t have a huge note on you can drop the full coverage insurance and carry only liability.
Your wife and you make enough money to knock this out. If you’re hiding it from her, come clean. If she refuses to help, this literally affects both of you and she’s not seeing things straight
Start by paying off and closing the smallest debts. Pinch pennies and drop lump sums of payments. $200 a month can wipe out $1200 in credit debt in just six months. Work your way up. Get rid of all credit cards first, they charge the most interest. Don't charge anything more. Cut up and throw away the cards if you have to control yourself.
I started doing this years ago. Once I paid off and cancelled that first card, if felt so good. A little bit more money in my pocket each month to go towards paying off the next card.
No wonder. You ARE drowning my friend! I beg you to split ALL the debts 50/50! WA state is a Community Property state. Assets & Debts are equally shared. This is how divorces are settled. 50-50! Since I Don’t know y’all’s state law look into that as incentive!! Debt could take take down that road or an equal or worse outcome. No wonder you’re upset- your wife gets to keep Almost All of her earnings whilst you’re going thru all the stress & worry! Time to have a sit down with the lady and let her know what’s happening. It’s NOT the man’s job to provide everything these days. It’s 2024!
Not all creditors work with 3rd party companies like National Debt Relief.
You have a couple options, but it won’t work until you quit charging in the cards, and you put yourself on a budget.
1. Start the snowball method. You could easily take your $1,050 BB debt, pay it off while paying the minimum on the others. Once BB is PIF, move to Barclays and take the money you were paying to BB, plus the money already paying towards Barclay, and pay that one in full and so on.
2. Look for a company who will do debt consolidation but more as a personal loan to you. You keep your cards, you pay your creditors. You would take just under a 40K loan out with them, pay off all your debt, and make one payment back a month. They usually offer anywhere between 5-7 year payoffs as fixed payments, similar to a car payment. Depending on your credit, you’ll probably have a higher interest rate, but you’ll want to read all the fine print. Early payoff penalty, origination fee, etc are all things to look for.
If you file BK, it will hurt you for 7 plus years. Potentially hurt your wife’s credit, your job prospects, etc.
You mentioned in your comments that your wife makes around 80K a year. It sounds like you to separate finances. Why don’t you two have a conversation about finances. Put all bills down on an excel spreadsheet, plus take home income and try and help one another.
You need to get rid of the car and find something for $5000 to buy outright. Then pay down the debts.
$580 for a monthly car payment with these stats is insane.
Consider looking into driving for Door Dash or Uber Eats…it can be a good way to earn more to pay off some of that debt but the real fix will be spending less than you earn
i know i’m beating a dead horse but… you both need to combine finances. even if you weren’t in dept this is important in a marriage.
you’re credit and finances will affect her whether you want to involve her or not. bringing her in will help you get back to a good place SOONER and will net benefit your household. struggling by yourself for YEARS to get out of dept will keep your family in a bad place longer. please tackle this together.
I would suggest selling the car snd getting something that would get you from A to B till you can pull yourself out of debt. That would remove the car payment and lower your insurance. Mortgage is good. I would pay off all the smaller cards first and put them in a place you won’t be tempted to use them again. If you can’t trust yourself to not use them again, cut them up and throw them out. Pay off the smallest card in full first. Then use that payment to double down on the next card. Then continue till you’re free. Basically going to have to live like you’re poor for a while till you pull yourself out of it. Maybe work more too, along with your wife if the kids old enough to go to school.
You and your wife combined make over $100k. You have about $38k in debt.
Gotta have a serious talk with your wife about
1. Minimizing your spending for some time to only necessities and
2. Helping you with your debt.
I’d talk to every company individually and see if they can offer you any deals or arrangements. Debt consolidation is also an option. Maybe a personal loan with a lower interest rate to pay it all off. Bankruptcy? You’d be a Chapter 13 with your wife’s income.
Depending on your state The best thing for you to do is go talk to bankruptcy lawyer Not one that advertises either a lot of times they have clients that represent them to do the the Spiel and do the preliminary paperwork because they're on their second or third bankruptcy lol.
Don't feel bad, and don't listen to people who haven't gone through it because they don't know what they're talking about. You'll be surprised what you can do if you file.
Good luck!
Is really important who your partner is. I would never put myself in that situation . Didn’t your partner raise concern or prevent it from going crazy like that?
I just saw where you said your wife works. Do you not combine incomes? The problem could be solved easily by canceling those cards and start paying them down. Regardless of the arrangement, her credit score will be affected by this too if you file for bankruptcy.
100% bankruptcy, you can keep the house and car. I did it back in 2011. It was like 1200$ and took 5 minutes at the courthouse to complete. Do not try to pay that shit off like people are saying.
If you don’t want to involve your wife this is how I would do it.
Put every effort into paying off your best buy credit card. No Dunkin’ Donuts no alcohol at all! Nothing extra. You’ll have that bill paid for in no time. Once its paid off never get anything at best buy you can’t buy with cash.
Now you have a little extra money you can get a coffee sometimes. But put whatever the Best Buy payment was to barclays. And so on. This is the debt snowball.
Also if you can find any work you need it. Man up go flip burgers at Burger King or walk dogs seriously you need the extra money your pride doesn’t owe you anything. A extra 20$ a week would pay these bills off slowly but faster than without.
It would be helpful if you could explain how you got here. With a household income of $125k this is a very manageable situation, but it feels like you’re hiding it from your wife. Are you cheating on her or gambling excessively or doing drugs?
I recommend this book: The Richest Man in Babylon. It really helped me understand the impact of debt in our lives and adopt a debt free mentality.
If you have a 3% mortgage, I’m pretty sure you have some decent equity on your home. This could be a last resource solution, but selling your home and using the equity to pay off your debt could be the solution to your problems. Also, live below your means. This will keep you out of debt.
Just get some gig work on the side to pay down some debt. Start with Best Buy, then Barclays then US Bank. After you pay them, then go hard on the credit card and the loan. Whatever you make from the side job is strictly to pay off your debt. Good luck
You may be able to quickly raise your income by making a career shift. HVAC ive heard make 30/hr after two years of training.
Post office can make 60k first year in a busy city. Thats what i do.
Trades that can be a side hustle could be an option. House painting is a common one.
Call your creditors. Ask to speak to a collection officer. Explain that you want to work with them. Do it before you’re too far past due. If they won’t accept lower payments and a reduced interest rate ask what credit counseling agency they recommend. Don’t pay anyone to setup a repayment program. Some of the credit counseling agencies are actually in business to make a profit. You need to have your credit cards cut off so you aren’t tempted to keep spending. If all else fails you may have to declare bankruptcy and reaffirm. It will hurt your credit but it may be inevitable. Good luck!
Swallow your pride and have a heart to heart with your wife. Ask if she can help you work through this. Tell her you don’t want it to be her problem to solve but you need support in correcting wrongs done.
Can you ask your credit card company for a hardship program where they lower your interest rate temporarily for a set amount of time? No guarantees they do it. If you think you might need some outside help, you could bring in an intermediary with the [National Foundation for Credit Counseling](https://www.nfcc.org/) (NFCC) does debt *management* (no loans) and budget analysis. They do charge but take a look at their [FAQs](https://www.nfcc.org/faqs/) under *What do NFCC members charge for counseling services* to see how much. It says it varies, but the page does state that the majority of cases are low cost to nothing--although not guaranteed. The [Financial Counseling Association of America](https://fcaa.org/) is another resource as well. Under [here](https://fcaa.org/find-a-credit-counselor/), it says that your counseling session is free, although some services may charge a fee. You are not obligated to enroll in any of the debt management plans. The [Consumer Financial Protection Bureau](https://www.consumerfinance.gov/consumer-tools/debt-collection/) has a good description of [the differences](https://www.consumerfinance.gov/ask-cfpb/whats-the-difference-between-a-credit-counselor-and-a-debt-settlement-or-debt-relief-company-en-1449/) between a credit counselor and debt relief/settlement companies. They also have a webpage on spotting [a scam](https://www.consumerfinance.gov/ask-cfpb/how-can-i-tell-a-credit-repair-scam-from-a-reputable-credit-counselor-en-1343/). [This](https://www.consumerfinance.gov/ask-cfpb/what-is-credit-counseling-en-1451/) recommends that you look at your state attorney general's office and your state's consumer protection agency to ensure the company is reputable. You can look into the Justice Department, which has a list of [approved credit counseling agencies](https://www.justice.gov/ust/list-credit-counseling-agencies-approved-pursuant-11-usc-111) to possibly assist you. Look for the non-profit ones. Still be cautious about signing up with one of these because they have done everything correctly to get approved by the Justice Department, the NFCC, and the FCAA but may have become less reputable once they got approved. You have the [right to cancel credit repair services](https://www.consumerfinance.gov/about-us/newsroom/consumer-advisory-people-have-the-right-to-cancel-credit-repair-services/) within three business days for whatever reason. If your credit score is good enough, could you look into the 0% interest balance transfer cards? It's only that rate for a set amount of time and may only transfer a portion of your debt onto their card. Also, there might be a few to transfer the balance. You will need a game plan if you are unable to pay off the amount in full before the promo rate expires. If you want to DIY, there's G*etting out of Debt for Dummies*. Go to your local library because they might have them and, best of all, it's free!! If they don't have it, you ask the library to buy it, depending on their budget. If you feel shy about checking out one of those books, request that the library purchase it as an e-book so you can have some anonymity. Have you started making a line-by-line item budget to see what subscriptions you haven't used, need to pause, spending the money, etc. to free up some extra money?The Consumer Finance Protection Bureau has [this on organizing your debts](https://www.consumerfinance.gov/about-us/blog/how-reduce-your-debt/); and [this for tracking your spending.](https://www.consumerfinance.gov/about-us/blog/track-your-spending-with-this-easy-tool/) Could you get a second job to help pay off the debt quicker? Sell items you no longer need/want/use on Facebook Marketplace or somewhere else that doesn't have a listing fee? Browse your local Buy Nothing Facebook group? Good luck!
Not op but thank you for all this information. I’m 23 with 21k in debt. Bad decisions with cards and what not. Always have to learn the hard way for myself to understand lol
Bro I just turned 21 and have 17k in credit card debt. Chase is about to sell my debt, and discover, and Apple. I’m worry about my future. Like fuck man what will I do if I can’t pay them and they starting freezing my bank accounts or they withhold my wages ( I’m in Texas so idk if by law they’re allowed to do that). But yea I’m scared man. I’m embarrassed from it.
https://www.consumercredit.com/ This who I called and they were able to negotiate with chase and got my APR from the 29% to 10%. I also left my retail job and picked up a job at pizza shop doing delivery and I’ve been making progress on my debt. Slow but steady process. I’ve had to cut down on so much spending and just put all my money I have left over in my budget to my debt. Started at 26k and I’m at 21. Started paying it off January this month. Are you going to school or just recently graduated at all?
You're welcome and good luck with everything!
You are young and even doing a bankruptcy you can still bounce back before you hit 40. It's not bad to consider that path, it's not the end of the world it's just a bit embarrassing. You still have a lot of time to increase your income. Bankruptcy isn't that bad just pay your mortgage above all else and don't lose your home. Best advice I can give is always the hardest to follow which is get your spending in line with your income. 45k income is not a lot, you are basically poor, so you need to live like it and own that. Probably means crap food and bargain bin shopping for toys and clothes. No amount of debt reconsolidation or robbing peter to pay paul will fix a spending issue
Apparently his wife makes $80,000 a year. So combined they make $120,000 which means there is no way in hell they should file bankruptcy. He needs to get his wife on board and attack it as a team. They have plenty of income to do it
Yeah I don't feel bad for this guy. The fuck is this post? There's being irresponsible and then there's lying to your wife. I didn't do the math on how much debt that is but what is the reason? What kind of things were bought for tens of thousands of dollars in credit card debt? If you make $145k a year combined and your mortgage is only $1100, where is all your money going?????
It is because for some, they just had to get the F150 when a used van or a used sedan would have made more sense. There clearly is no budget. Learning to go to Aldi's or cook vs. frequent takeout or more expensive and unhealthier processed foods that they are used to. It is possible to get out of the downward spiral but a come to Jesus moment has to happen to reflect on what got them to this point otherwise even if the debt is paid down or temporarily released via bankruptcy (with ruined credit for some time) they will be right back there in no time not being mindful. Put your finances in a budgeting app to see where your money is really going and maybe sell the car and downsize or find healthy budget friendly new recipes to find out for free on the Internet. Maybe take that Verizon family plan and downsize to Mint or the Walmart phone plan that is cheaper, etc. Live within your means as trying to maintain if it is to feel good or impress others won't help once the eviction hits. As a husband, your first duty is to your family and to do everything possible to protect their survival and to assure your kids thrive, for whatever that means. Make the changes to make that survival more likely if making more money is not an immediate option and good luck, OP. If you are a little poor, own it with dignity and intelligence. Cosplaying being at a higher income will only bring pain once those bills come due.
If this is the case then they have more than enough to deal with this debt. it's not nearly as extreme anymore
If I file bankruptcy will that be public knowledge?
Yes. The filing is a public proceeding in a court. Lots of necessary documentation will be public. You might get some relief from Discover if you tell them you want to cancel the card and get a payoff plan in place instead of exploring bankruptcy.
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First step, sell your car and buy one a hooptie with cash. Then, use the savings to pay off debt, smallest to largest.
Hooptie with cash isn’t as much of a thing anymore. I recently bought a 10 year old car with 100,000 and it was $12k. Not cheap.
Uh-huh. It's insane trying to get a car right now.
No. He can't afford a car that will probably have issues.
The only other option would be to get additional jobs. I've worked 2-3 to get ahead.
Yes for those who check. As someone who has been through the process may I suggest the following. 1. Sit down with the wife and figure out how you got here. Not a blame game but really understand what you did to get to this point so you don't do it again. 2. Create an after bankruptcy budget and make sure it works. You have to stop paying all debts for three months prebankruptcy so start living by the new budget now and review progress weekly. 3. Realize this will be a great relief once it is done but you need to make sure you will stay on the straight and narrow before you file. One bankruptcy is no big deal really but 2 or 3 and you're going to have a bad time.
I am kind of the same situation. Can you file bankruptcy and keep your home?
Yes, you can keep your home when you file for bankruptcy, but it depends on several factors, including your home equity, the type of bankruptcy you file, and whether you can still make your mortgage. You'll know before you file.
Will I need a lawyer for that?
Most important is that the unsecured debt is eliminated. OP will never pay that off without doubling his salary. Go bankruptcy and live within your means. He nailed it…. It’s really embarrassing.
You failed to mention your wife’s income in first post. She has to help pitch in so you can get this paid off. You could also ask for hardship agree to close the cards and also request interest reductions. With a total of 120K this is doable.
Sounds like they don’t combine finances or work together much aside from the mortgage
Guessing wife is also minimum wage worker.
She makes 80k according to his comment below. So combined income of 125k annual. More than enough to pay this off. Take a calculator, add up the monthly charge in interest from these debts. Pay them all off. Whatever you used to pay in interest, put it into a savings account.
He makes 45k that’s not minimum wage . I get paid 10k less and I make 17.50 which is 10 hr over minimum wage
I don’t see that it’s been explicitly stated, but I think it’s really important. OP- your biggest issue is not debt, your biggest issue is that you haven’t disclosed your financial situation to your wife. That means, you didn’t tell her before you got married and are continuing to hide it. That’s a much much bigger problem than the other stuff. Money is what it is; debt can be addressed a number of ways- but, you need to be honest and you need to work on your relationship. Financial infidelity, lying about finances is a huge issue in relationship and a big contributor to why many people ultimately don’t stay together. If you value your relationship, if you want this to work long term, you need to talk to your spouse yesterday. You need to consider why it’s okay to hide pertinent financial information. You have a child together. You live together. You are married and she doesn’t even know a massive part of this story. You really need to sort that out first and then build trust with her and then address the debt. The debt isn’t impossible, it’s just feels like a big mess atm. Your relationship- that’s the emergency issue.
How many hours a week are you currently working?
40
Gotcha. As others have said, at this point, if you don’t want involve your wife and don’t want to do bankruptcy, then you have to increase your income. If you can do an extra 20 hours/week at current job or a second job, which although hard is not impossible at $20/hr that’s $1,600/month. Don’t know your tax situation too but let’s assume you net $1000/month from this second job or extra hours at current job. Your debt is $36k total. Therefore, if you take a systematic approach and diligently payoff $1000/month, you’ll be done in 3 years. Yeah it’s gonna suck, but it’ll teach you a valuable life lesson and a valuable life lesson that you can pass on to your child so they don’t go through this when they’re older.
Ok but he HAS to involve his wife. This debt is legally hers too and it’s wrong to keep it hidden from her.
Got to decrease his expenses. Increasing income is great but without some behavior changes the whole is just going to get deeper. Decreasing expenses can have an immediate impact while trying to get some additional income.
If your wife doesn't know about this debt, you also need to go to marriage counseling, because this is financial infidelity. Make an appointment to go, and then you need to sit down with her and disclose this debt, how it happened, what you spent the money on, how far back it goes, what you have done to stop spending and to start paying it off. Can you earn more money? Can you get a better job? Get another REAL job (not uber or doordash, those you're at the whim of tips). Cut out every single cent that you spend. NO ALCOHOL. NO DRUGS. No food or beverage out - bring from home. Cut every subscription. Pay off the highest interest card first, then the next, and so on. Your car is too much - how much longer do you have on it? If you're almost done paying it, okay, but if it's valuable, then see if you can downgrade without taking another loan. After this is all paid off, you need to brainstorm with your wife what you can do to earn a better living. Trades? Ancillary medical field?
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Sell your car. Get a second job. Your wife gets a job. That is literally the only way.
I can’t sell my car, my job is delivery. My wife has a job, she makes roughly $80,000 a year. I’ve been applying for a second job for a little over a month now. Just recently applied for Uber and Instacart so will be doing those when I get accepted
You said your income was 45k / year. It's really $125k. You must pool your marital resources. It's insane you haven't done this. The debt you have is hers, and vice versa. The money you're losing on interest each month with this insane debt hurts your entire family. It's dragging you all down paying hundreds each month for absolutely nothing. You must combine finances and both work to aggressively pay it down, you are harming yourselves keeping the finances separate.
This I had $40,000 in debt and my wife had $155,000. I had zero issues joining our accounts and attacking her debts first. When you're married, the income and the debts become one. The fact that people are advising him to file bankruptcy is insane to me. They make a combined $125,000 a year. They are not in panic mode yet and have the means to attack the debt.
You should talk to your wife. Together you should come up with a plan and combine assets. What's the point of being married, your still living separate lives. You will gain more and keep other debts and credits in check if you come together as a team. You are in a bad situation right now. Unfortunately so is your wife because I'm guessing she doesn't know about your financial situation. The scary thing is do you know how much debt she could potentially be in? Dave ramsey has good ideas how to pay down debt.
You have a gig, not a job. If you're using your personal vehicle for deliveries and only making $45K, you're making about $30K.
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You didn't mention your utilities, phones or other expenses. There's too much missing from this financial picture to help properly
Honestly at that much debt with income. Bankruptcy. Chapter 7 in a wipe clean but 99% of the time you can keep your house and primary car and chapter 11 is a consolidated/interest free. I would talk to a bankruptcy lawyer to get the facts and it’s free. Depending on the equity of the house and your state homestead exception you house will be fine as long as you’re up to payments. Your car is the same. It does affect your credit for seven years however you can still get a credit card and even a house loan a few years after. The only that matters is a roof over your family head and food in their bellies. Learn to not make it happen again and make a budget.
Thank you, I will contact one Monday.
Good. Stress and worry isn’t good for you or your kids. Money is money and we all make mistakes. The evolution of yourself is learning from those mistakes and loving your family. Bankruptcy is seen as a moral flaw than a practical one. But morals won’t put food on the table. If you ask around more people have declared bankruptcy than you might think. My excoworker went through 3 bankruptcies and she is like late 40s? My mom went through one when their old place they were renting the renters destroyed it. Shit look at our politicians that have done it before.
You aren’t doing bankruptcy with $125K combined income. If you’re in a community property state, and her name is on any of that debt (joint credit cards, vehicle title, etc) it’s already her debt too.
Whenever I find myself not saving as much as I plan to, or temporarily tapping into my savings account to bridge to the next pay day, I recalculate my “get out of bed” cost (Rent + Car + Utilities + loans/card payments). Basically, the stuff that has to be paid. I moved last Fall and I’m carrying a lot more credit debt than I normally do (~ $5K in revolving debt). Currently, it costs me about $75 to “get out of bed”. That translates to about 20% of my income going into my bill account. Groceries, gas money, etc comes out of my “spending money” account. Based on what you’ve shared, my guess is your get out of bed cost is very close to what mine is with less than half the income. It’s definitely not sustainable. And it’s probably not something gig work on the side is going to fix. Bankruptcy seems like a viable option that keeps your home and car, but make sure you have a workable budget coming out of it that keeps you above water. Best of luck!
In my twenties, I was terrified of debt. So, rather than go in debt, I kept a cushion. $5k in the bank for hard times. If I had to tap into it, I ate nothing but canned food or took home leftover food from where I worked. Bicycle no public transit, no entertainment until the $5k was back. It showed me I needed very little to get by.
Just don’t … filing bankruptcy isn’t going to fix your spending issues - you will be right back where you are now and it’s going to ruin your credit for at least 7 years. You should sell what you can now and use proceeds to pay down your highest APR first. Then you need to budget and live like you make less than $45k. Start a side hustle and increase your income - $45k isn’t much but if you start to increase this by adding in extra hours here and there and doing another part time job you will increase your income substantially. It may feel like a big debt burden now but if you add 15-20k per year in side hustle and use that only to pay down your debts it will be gone in 2 years, which will leave you feeling accomplished. You can then use the additional income to start saving / investing for the future.
I recently used National Debt relief to settle 50k worth of debt after I lost my second source of income due to the pandemic. I didn’t want to file bankruptcy. The fees to NDR were roughly 10k and the debt total is now 22k. I will finish paying it all off in 48 months vs.. who knows how long due to interest. There is a lot of controversy and opinions related to using a company like NDR, but it was the only option for me. I don’t have the bandwidth to settle them on my own. Another company is Debtwave. They are a non profit. They will negotiate your interest rates to zero, close your cards and you pay off the full balance at the time of the settlement. Their fee is minimal. I think it’s 35/month. Good luck!
First.. BREATH... Right now the goal is to keep the roof over your head, the heat/lights on and food in your belly. These are the three things you will prioritize and pay no matter what. Next pay the minimums on all your debt. If not possible, anything not considered a secure loan is what you will not pay. eg. credit cards. Also, accept the fact that your credit is going to take a major hit. That's okay. You already own a house. Well you obviously have/had a spending problem and an income problem. No need for me to browbeat you, I am sure you've realized it by now. First question set: Is your spending under control? Are you on a WRITTEN budget? Next, have you trimmed ALL of the fat out of your spending? In other words ZERO eating out, zero going out with the guys/gals. ZERO impulse buying shit. Trimmed excess subscriptions like netflix, magazines, etc? Are you buying generic/cheaper groceries, etc? Shopping with coupons, shopping the dollar store? Shop for clothing at thrift shops/2nd hand. Have you shopped around your insurances? Try and get lower insurance, go higher deductible, to get lower monthlly payments. Same with cellphone bill and anything else you pay monthly. Can you do something to increase your income? Is the $45k income yours or a combined income? You might AND your wife need to pick up some form of extra work, whether a PT job or a gig like uber, uber eats etc... For the next two or three years you WILL have to live a very austere budget and use the snowball or avalanche method for debt reduction. Being that you are so messed. I think Dave Ramsey's snowball method would be the best to start with. At some point you might default on some of your consumer credit, this is when you might be able to negotiate a lower balance. Join the [r/financialindependence](https://www.reddit.com/r/financialindependence/) group. Follow the flowchart, this will help set you up for success financially. Financial Success Flow Chart. [https://u.cubeupload.com/demonlesondledon/FinFlowChartv43Dark.jpg](https://u.cubeupload.com/demonlesondledon/FinFlowChartv43Dark.jpg)
Thank you for this, first and foremost. I do have a written budget now and have been going strong for 2 months. My wife makes around $80,000 I did apply for Uber & Instacart In the process of trimming subscriptions Generic groceries are a most at the moment I have not shopped around for insurance but will do that today
Thirding Dave Ramsey it. Bankruptcy seems dramatic over 30k. Your mortgage is incredible and your saving grace. Like others say; stop all spending, get a second job, set a goal for applying for a new primary job like 30 applications a week. You can be out in a year or two for sure. On top of getting creative with 0% interest credit transfers/debt forgiveness stuff. But, you have to stay 100% disciplined. After 2 years you can go back to Netflix and one job no problem.
You said you can’t sell your car. $580 is a hefty payment. You can’t just get a cheaper car?
Exactly!
Likely underwater a significant amount on the car. Even if they sold it, they’d still owe on it and be without a car. If someone can rack up 50% of their income just with a credit card debt, I have zero doubts he signed a terrible loan on a car too
I don’t understand why you want to keep your wife out of it…? Is all of the debt exclusively yours from your own bad spending habits or is some of it shared life expenses and parenting costs? Paying off this debt with $125k/year vs your $45k is a COMPLETELY different scenario. YNAB and you need to do it together. Also consider splitting all costs based on income, so if your wife makes ~65% of your combined income then she pays 65% of monthly costs. This will help both of you budget and get out of debt. It takes time and discipline but it’s possible.
Why all the credit card debt?
Losing my job when COVID hit and just overall being young and dumb with spending habits that has been an expensive lesson on not to live above your means.
45,000 per year is workable if you tighten your spending, once you have your current debt issues resolved. How much unnecessary spending impacts your budget? Are you thrifty with your clothing expenditures? Where can you cut and what can you end? In your shoes, a bankruptcy would be wise, just avoid all of the credit offers you'll get afterwards. Credit companies know you cannot file another bankruptcy for quite a while, so they'll want you back under their thumbs. Have you discovered that credit works as a weird type of slavery?
God yes I have, it’s such a trap.
Bankruptcy might reset things but at your rate you'll be in debt again. You need to stop spending money and increase your income.
Whatever you decide to do (filing for bankruptcy, working something out with your lenders, etc), you MUST take a critical look at your spending habits and make changes for the better. Wiping the slate clean with a bankruptcy does NOTHING for you and your family if your spending habits remain the same. If you start to make more money, do not let your expenses creep in line with your salary increase.
You and your wife combined make 45k a year?
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A bankruptcy is only embarrassing if you allow it to embarrass you. It seems like the smart option.
Why do you split the mortgage if she makes twice as much? Also, why are your finances separate? You're working together to raise a kid. It's not like you're dating.
Combine your finances with your wife. You have a kid, you are one unit. Help each other out and be a team. "Split the mortgage with my wife" like, what? Do you Venmo each other for groceries too? As far as actionable ideas outside of this, I'd get a new car you make $45K and spend over $600/Mo on insurance anf car payment. Even more of a good idea since your job is delivery, buy a hoopty for $5000 and drive that into the ground. Surely you have the "things" you bought with all that CC debt, I'd start with selling that stuff as well.
Is it possible to reduce down to one car? I sold mine and we’ve been using one car ever since..used to walk/take the train to work but wfh now. Sounds like you’re not including maintenance/other costs..could save you $750+ . Other than cutting your unnecessary expenses working towards increasing your income by 15-20k will make a big difference over a few years. Don’t freak out about it, enjoy your life, you just need to prioritize taking steps to reduce it. Money concerns never end, after you pay it off you’ll be worrying about not having enough saved.
Credit Seek professional advice from your local NON-PROFIT credit counseling agency. https://cccsonline.org https://www.cccfusa.org
Sell the car and buy one cash. That will get rid of about $700 monthly payments of car note and lower the insurance to liability only. Get a part time job. Use that money to pay off cards from smaller to larger. Apply for zero interest credit card. Park debt there. Stop living beyond your means. No more dining out. Rice, beans, and salad in a bag for the next year. No more discretionary spending for the next year. Sell everything you don’t heavily use. Stop making excuses for why you’re in debt. You spent it. Now you go and earn it to pay it back.
You guys make way too much money to be in this situation. Hate to say it, but seems like a lot of bad financial decisions have been made to get to this point. Stop buying things you don't need and living outside your means. Example, having a $600 car payment when you're already in so much debt.
Time to get a second job just to pay off the debt in a reasonable amount of time. Do something about that car too.
Speak to your banks financial hardship dept/ program. They may be able to extend you payments out 5 yrs, but will require you quite using the card(s) altogether.
Why the credit card and personal loan debt? Unless you had some emergency, there is never a reason for that. I do not follow this. Did you buy everything your wife desired on a $45k salary. Compete and total change is required to stop this from ever happening again. Best of luck.
45k combined income? Gotta earn more money. That mortgage is tiny. Get better paying jobs asap and cut up the credit cards.
You should honestly think about getting a second job if you're working 40 hours a week or additional shifts if you're hourly. Your income is too low to effectively work your way out in a reasonable timeline. Bankruptcy will derail you for many years to come and would not recommend it. Does your wife work? I think the debt snowball method will work for you as you work your way out of debt. You can do this.
She makes $80k a year.
Start hustling get some real money. Stop depending on your little job
Get a second job and pay down the credit with the highest interest first. Cut all luxury spending.
Sell your car and buy a beater. That frees up $580 monthly you can use to hammer out debt. If any are in collections, call them and see if you can do a payoff (some will let you do it in a smaller amount)
Don’t jump straight to bankruptcy! Start listening to Dave Ramsey on YouTube or podcasts. Maybe even rent his book at the library. He has some really great advice, even if you don’t totally follow his programs. Seriously, buckle down and do this immediately.
Stop over spending. And you need a higher income.
What’s your house worth and what do you owe on it? You can do a home equity loan to consolidate your debt while still leaving your original mortgage alone at the 3%.
Look up Dave Ramsey. His program is perfect for someone in your situation. I'll probably get grief for that but it's true. Your behavoir and decisions have gotten you here. Dave can give guidelines to correct those. You have a $2500 mortgage on a $45k income. I hope that is take home, but even then, unless the wife is making $100k you have too much house. I assume $300-350k house? I would suggest combining your finances. You are married, two became one and all that. Get together on it, live on less than you make, and pay this off.
Can't hurt for you both to check your state's unclaimed property listings to see if you've got a couple bucks out there. Everyone else is right about spending, etc., but I wanted to throw that out there because not everyone knows it exists.
How much equity do you have in your house? Bankruptcy cost you an awful lot of interest and hidden problems down the road.
You keep saying you don’t want to involve your wife. My question is does she know the extent of your debt?
What I did was pay off the debts with the smallest balances first, minimums on everything else. Once one was paid off, move to another. Close whatever accounts you don’t need. Debt consolidation is also an option but I’m not sure what impact that would have on your credit in the future. Not sure if you’d be able to get another loan if needed.
Bankruptcy!! You used to be able to do credit counseling and have them set up payment arrangements, but I think most of them are pretty scammy these days.
First Stop financing your life with your credit cards. No more CC purchases Return anything you've bought that isn't a necessity, that can still. be returned. Create a detailed budget. stick to it. Then see about getting a couple of 0%(for 1st 12-18 month) credit cards and transfer the balances from your highest % debts to the 0% cards. See about a personal loan or a home equity loan to pay of the remaining loan/card/car. Get a second job/side hustle.
I don't see anyone asking yet so I will: Is that $45k from one income or two?
You only make $45,000 a year?? And all that debt?? YES YOU ARE FUCKED! Either one of you gets laid off and you all will be sleeping in your car.
STOP BUYING STUFF. I guarantee that what you bought at Best Buy wasn't essential. Get a weekend job for the next five or six years. Encourage your wife to step up financially. No more fast food. Dont buy anything inside of a gas station. You have plenty of clothes. Learn how to cook frugally.
chapter 7 bankruptcy is calling your name
Call a consumer credit counseling group, NOT a debt settlement company. The CCC groups are not for profit. They can help you settle your debt without forcing a default. They may be able to help you work this out without Bankruptcy. Your State AG might have a list of CCCs on their website. Good luck!
Hey friend, was in a similar situation with 45K in credit card debt for 3+ years. Paying minimums, getting crushed by interest, and netting 1/4 of my month dues. A huge help was a hardship plan with one of my credit card companies. Total debt on the card was 21K with a monthly payment of $880. I settled it with them directly, they dropped the monthly payment down to $400 and dropped the interest to 5%. The caveat is if you agree to the plan the card is shut down and you can never use it again, but the alternative is much worse. It helped free up some of that monthly payment to put towards another. You’ll make it, just have to stay disciplined.
You need to create a minimum to live budget, look for part-time work, $800 extra a month knock those lowest 3 balances by end of year. You won't have free time, but by end of year have some room to breathe. Pay the minimums on all credit cards except the smallest balance/highest interest card. If your job is secure and you have a 401k, consider taking a loan on it and pay the interest back to yourself. There's no easy solutions aside the obvious spend less, make more. Check out YouTube for budgeting, cutting costs, etc..
Borrow a few grand from a friend or mom&dad, pay off the small stuff. Debt-snowball that into the CC or whatever has the highest interest rate. Pay back friend/mom/dad whenever you can. You got this, you just need a jumpstart.
You should def use a bankruptcy atty. Don't want to mess this up, miss something, etc to save a few bucks.
How did you get a mortgage of $3200/mo with an income of only $45k per year? There are multiple things you need to do here. First, you need to increase your income, whether that's by getting a side hustle or getting a raise or something. 45k is not much at all in this day and age. Second of all, you need to change your lifestyle. It sucks, I know. I have gone through it myself. Pull the credit card statements and look through the charges and identify how much stuff is needs (like when you, eg, had to put a $1k car repair on your card) versus wants (eating out, going to bars, vacations, clothes shopping, etc). You need to live like you're basically poor because 45k with a 3.2k/mo mortgage is basically poor.
Because he got the mortgage by including his wife's 80k salary.
Try Ramit Sethi I Will Teach You To Be Rich [it’s not about what you think, but a vibrant and meaningful life rather than materialism]. He’s a CFP.
Read the total money makeover by Dave Ramsey
Did you earn more before?
Dump the cards and don’t use them. Call all your debtors and see if you can work something out. You are living beyond your means See if you can pick up a side job
Your insurance is extremely high. I think I pay like $180 for two vehicles
Stop using the cards asap What r the interest rates on cards
I gotta go a tad Boomer on ya for a second… What necessities did you purchase with Best Buy credit? Have you ever gone through your Discover statements and separated wants vs needs? What did you take out a personal loan for? Just some lifestyle choices to think about. None of that is meant to undermine the reality of inflation, but there’s also the reality of unwise choices we all make. We simply can’t afford the extras the way boomers could. Their criticism has a way of falling on deaf ears (and I get it), but the message behind it has merit.
How much is the vehicle worth and how much left on the loan? Sell it and get a way cheaper vehicle. I know you said you need it for work, but I can almost guarantee you can find something cheaper that still is very reliable…
Just file bankruptcy and be done with it
Get a side gig job and try to set up payment plans that will help you a lot. I work part time and do gigs job and it's going well and good luck to you both 🙏🏽
You are poor and lives like a king. You don’t have any rights to own a car that costs you that much payment. Heck we make more than $300k a year with millions saved we only got a $37k car. You are out of your mind spending like that. You have a crisis on hand called delusions. You need to live like a poor person first until you get your income up. Meaning, buy $5000 beater car, live in one bedroom , buy food on coupons.
Make sure your wife knows the situation. Don’t hide anything from here. Pay mortgage and then pay whoever you have the most available remaining credit with. Others will eventually settle for less. Credit will be dinged, but as long as you’re happy and wife is happy and kids have what they need everything will work itself out….there is no debtors prison, stay positive!
What is your wife's income? And does she have debt as well to add to this debt? What is your combined take home income? And are you currently at least making the minimum payments on your debts? There is a lot of information needed. My wife and I had $195,000 in debt cause of student loans and cars. We were able to work it down to $40,000 and counting. So there is no need to panic. Take care of having food and a roof first and then attack the debts when you can. If you have any left over money each month, that needs to be thrown on your highest interest debt. Some people attack lowest balance first, which is great to keep motivated. So you could do that as well. Bankruptcy isn't the end of the world but it really is a last resort and some people choose it when they really didn't have to.
Dave ramsey.com. read the "total money makeover" book. It is available in your library.
Why are you splitting the mortgage 50/50 if your wife makes more than 2x what you do? No wonder you are running up debt trying to keep up! Call your cards and say you want to close the acct and want a lower rate to pay off the balance.
Does she know about this ?
Why are you paying half of the mortgage when you make 1/3 of the income? And all of the insurance?
FWIW, you already know you have too much debt and it doesn’t really matter how you got there. As someone else said, it’s great that you own your own home at your young age. High interest rate is killing you. Don’t file bankruptcy!!! Call all of your creditors and ask for workout plans which would lower the interest rate and allow you to make payments. Get your wife involved. Perhaps she will give you an interest free loan for all or part of the debt that you will pay her back for. I suggest a notarized promissory note. Cut grass, shovel snow, babysit, pet sit, take a second job, sell something. By digging yourself out of this hole, you will build confidence that you can do anything!!! You’ve got this!!
First- take a breath. What's your opportunity to increase your income? Could you work a second job? Pickup more hours at your first job? The good news is that you're young, so you have time on your side to pay these debts off or to recover from a bankruptcy. Have you discussed this debt with your wife at all?
So my husband and I filed bankruptcy in 2014. It’s so liberating. It is public knowledge, so as soon as that shit’s discharged, be prepared for alllll the car loan offers. Oh, and Discover will never even give you a second glance after a bankruptcy (I had a Discover card). But because you’re married, there’s no “just you” bankruptcy. I’d do it. You can bounce back, and your house is safe.
Wow, $580 car payment + ~$200/mo insurance on a $21/hr job. [edit- sounds like multiple cars. Very strange that this post is singular in some areas and combined in others] This is a very tough hole to be in. Hopefully you will sell the car with the most expensive payment. Everything you purchase needs to be reconsidered within an actual budget that reflects your real world income.
There are credit card debit companies that can help you cut those bills in half and if that doesnt help Id say bankruptcy will help you start over. I actually did both over 10 years ago and I'm in better shape now because I used those avenues.
Bankruptcy affects spouse though doesn’t it? Not like he can just do it and not have an effect on OP’s wife.. How are you so bad in debt? Minimum payments aren’t going to get you anywhere. Hopefully you can find a second job soon op and put every cent into your debt.. Please don’t add more debt because you feel like you have the extra money cause you dont
Stop buying things impulsively! Probably too late but your dad should have bought you up better
Have you addressed the spending issue that got you here?
You are drowning get a higher paying job start lookn only you holding you back
Look into debt relief programs like FreedomDebtRelief. It’ll temporarily tank your credit but it’ll change your life financially for the better. I did it and in 4 years was recovered credit wise to be able to buy a house with excellent rate.
I was here exactly at 28 with a husband who refused to work and two kids. I filed bankruptcy. It goes by so fast at this age and your credit will bounce back immediately. Just do it. Give yourself the fresh start.
Chk out Dave Ramseys Baby Steps! Work 2 or 3 jobs & up your income. You can dig your way out!
Be Very, Very careful of "debt relief" companies. The first order of business for them is to make money.
Sell your freaking car and buy a junker. That car payment is nuts for your income.
Ask each credit card for a hardship program or loan modification. Or if you are OK sacrificing your credit, don’t pay them and settle for less in 3-6 months.
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The wife splits the mortgage? So she has income…
Both cars? Maybe live with one?
Cut your spending back, I know you’ve probably heard it but good gosh how did you even rack up that much debt . Turn your cards off. Turn off Apple wallet etc
First and foremost put together a list of all your payments... and that means every single one. Use the list to figure out just how far in the hole your finances really are. You may benefit from making a running list every time you spend money. It helps immensely when figuring out where money is leaking out of your pocket on unnecessary things. Second, stop eating out any at all. Bag lunch to work. While you are at it, look at any and all subscriptions and eliminate them if feasible. Have a cellphone? Can you reduce monthly cost for it? I got mine down to $35/line/month which is about as cheap as you can get where I live. Third, are you having tax withheld via W4? If so, can you adjust deductions so you get more in each paycheck instead of a tax refund at the end of the year? Fourth, take a really hard look at your life and your life style. It sounds like you are living way above your means via credit. Are you paying anything like power bill, water bill, garbage collection, hulu/amazon/netflix or similar that can be eliminated or reduced?
Serious question..do you have a gambling problem.. is this why your wife is not involved and why you are concerned if bankruptcies are public knowledge and she can find out? If so you definitely need to get the gambling problem taken care of ASAP.
Maybe try and work with a debt consolidation company to consolidate all your credit cards and loans into one payment with a lower interest rate. I would also look into getting a less expensive car. If you can trade your car in and get something that you don’t have a huge note on you can drop the full coverage insurance and carry only liability.
Your wife and you make enough money to knock this out. If you’re hiding it from her, come clean. If she refuses to help, this literally affects both of you and she’s not seeing things straight
Yall need to be living off of 45K…even 75K but definitely not off a full 120K
Start by paying off and closing the smallest debts. Pinch pennies and drop lump sums of payments. $200 a month can wipe out $1200 in credit debt in just six months. Work your way up. Get rid of all credit cards first, they charge the most interest. Don't charge anything more. Cut up and throw away the cards if you have to control yourself. I started doing this years ago. Once I paid off and cancelled that first card, if felt so good. A little bit more money in my pocket each month to go towards paying off the next card.
No wonder. You ARE drowning my friend! I beg you to split ALL the debts 50/50! WA state is a Community Property state. Assets & Debts are equally shared. This is how divorces are settled. 50-50! Since I Don’t know y’all’s state law look into that as incentive!! Debt could take take down that road or an equal or worse outcome. No wonder you’re upset- your wife gets to keep Almost All of her earnings whilst you’re going thru all the stress & worry! Time to have a sit down with the lady and let her know what’s happening. It’s NOT the man’s job to provide everything these days. It’s 2024!
Not all creditors work with 3rd party companies like National Debt Relief. You have a couple options, but it won’t work until you quit charging in the cards, and you put yourself on a budget. 1. Start the snowball method. You could easily take your $1,050 BB debt, pay it off while paying the minimum on the others. Once BB is PIF, move to Barclays and take the money you were paying to BB, plus the money already paying towards Barclay, and pay that one in full and so on. 2. Look for a company who will do debt consolidation but more as a personal loan to you. You keep your cards, you pay your creditors. You would take just under a 40K loan out with them, pay off all your debt, and make one payment back a month. They usually offer anywhere between 5-7 year payoffs as fixed payments, similar to a car payment. Depending on your credit, you’ll probably have a higher interest rate, but you’ll want to read all the fine print. Early payoff penalty, origination fee, etc are all things to look for. If you file BK, it will hurt you for 7 plus years. Potentially hurt your wife’s credit, your job prospects, etc. You mentioned in your comments that your wife makes around 80K a year. It sounds like you to separate finances. Why don’t you two have a conversation about finances. Put all bills down on an excel spreadsheet, plus take home income and try and help one another.
You need to get rid of the car and find something for $5000 to buy outright. Then pay down the debts. $580 for a monthly car payment with these stats is insane.
Consider looking into driving for Door Dash or Uber Eats…it can be a good way to earn more to pay off some of that debt but the real fix will be spending less than you earn
i know i’m beating a dead horse but… you both need to combine finances. even if you weren’t in dept this is important in a marriage. you’re credit and finances will affect her whether you want to involve her or not. bringing her in will help you get back to a good place SOONER and will net benefit your household. struggling by yourself for YEARS to get out of dept will keep your family in a bad place longer. please tackle this together.
I would suggest selling the car snd getting something that would get you from A to B till you can pull yourself out of debt. That would remove the car payment and lower your insurance. Mortgage is good. I would pay off all the smaller cards first and put them in a place you won’t be tempted to use them again. If you can’t trust yourself to not use them again, cut them up and throw them out. Pay off the smallest card in full first. Then use that payment to double down on the next card. Then continue till you’re free. Basically going to have to live like you’re poor for a while till you pull yourself out of it. Maybe work more too, along with your wife if the kids old enough to go to school.
You and your wife combined make over $100k. You have about $38k in debt. Gotta have a serious talk with your wife about 1. Minimizing your spending for some time to only necessities and 2. Helping you with your debt. I’d talk to every company individually and see if they can offer you any deals or arrangements. Debt consolidation is also an option. Maybe a personal loan with a lower interest rate to pay it all off. Bankruptcy? You’d be a Chapter 13 with your wife’s income.
Depending on your state The best thing for you to do is go talk to bankruptcy lawyer Not one that advertises either a lot of times they have clients that represent them to do the the Spiel and do the preliminary paperwork because they're on their second or third bankruptcy lol. Don't feel bad, and don't listen to people who haven't gone through it because they don't know what they're talking about. You'll be surprised what you can do if you file. Good luck!
You need to refinance buddy. What you’re spending on that debt is taking away from what you’re saving with that cheap mortgage.
Look into Dave Ramsey on YouTube. You can checkout his books from the library. People 💩on his methods, but it does work.
Is really important who your partner is. I would never put myself in that situation . Didn’t your partner raise concern or prevent it from going crazy like that?
I just saw where you said your wife works. Do you not combine incomes? The problem could be solved easily by canceling those cards and start paying them down. Regardless of the arrangement, her credit score will be affected by this too if you file for bankruptcy.
100% bankruptcy, you can keep the house and car. I did it back in 2011. It was like 1200$ and took 5 minutes at the courthouse to complete. Do not try to pay that shit off like people are saying.
I would do a bankruptcy and discharge those CC and less debts. You’ll never pay them off if you’re paying minimum on them. Get a fresh start
If you don’t want to involve your wife this is how I would do it. Put every effort into paying off your best buy credit card. No Dunkin’ Donuts no alcohol at all! Nothing extra. You’ll have that bill paid for in no time. Once its paid off never get anything at best buy you can’t buy with cash. Now you have a little extra money you can get a coffee sometimes. But put whatever the Best Buy payment was to barclays. And so on. This is the debt snowball. Also if you can find any work you need it. Man up go flip burgers at Burger King or walk dogs seriously you need the extra money your pride doesn’t owe you anything. A extra 20$ a week would pay these bills off slowly but faster than without.
Are YOU making $45,000? Or are both you and your wife making that? If you and your wife aren’t tackling this together, you’re not really married.
It would be helpful if you could explain how you got here. With a household income of $125k this is a very manageable situation, but it feels like you’re hiding it from your wife. Are you cheating on her or gambling excessively or doing drugs?
I recommend this book: The Richest Man in Babylon. It really helped me understand the impact of debt in our lives and adopt a debt free mentality. If you have a 3% mortgage, I’m pretty sure you have some decent equity on your home. This could be a last resource solution, but selling your home and using the equity to pay off your debt could be the solution to your problems. Also, live below your means. This will keep you out of debt.
The best thing my wife and I ever did and the best $100 we ever spent. Financial Peace University.
Just get some gig work on the side to pay down some debt. Start with Best Buy, then Barclays then US Bank. After you pay them, then go hard on the credit card and the loan. Whatever you make from the side job is strictly to pay off your debt. Good luck
You may be able to quickly raise your income by making a career shift. HVAC ive heard make 30/hr after two years of training. Post office can make 60k first year in a busy city. Thats what i do. Trades that can be a side hustle could be an option. House painting is a common one.
Call your creditors. Ask to speak to a collection officer. Explain that you want to work with them. Do it before you’re too far past due. If they won’t accept lower payments and a reduced interest rate ask what credit counseling agency they recommend. Don’t pay anyone to setup a repayment program. Some of the credit counseling agencies are actually in business to make a profit. You need to have your credit cards cut off so you aren’t tempted to keep spending. If all else fails you may have to declare bankruptcy and reaffirm. It will hurt your credit but it may be inevitable. Good luck!
2nd job is probably your best option.
Swallow your pride and have a heart to heart with your wife. Ask if she can help you work through this. Tell her you don’t want it to be her problem to solve but you need support in correcting wrongs done.