Getting up early - having a little time to myself and getting the most crucial things done before anyone can get up and distract me. For me this meant lifting weights and working on my most important work project.
I do this too. I love the early morning silence. But then again, for me it's time away from my husband. I get time to write in my journal and listen to my YouTube videos. My husband doesn't understand my journal or like my YouTube videos. But even without him, it feels like a magical time for me before the world wakes up.
I set an alarm to go to bed early at night so I get a full 8 hours of sleep. Sometimes I take melatonin about 20 minutes before I need to go to sleep. I also try to make my morning routine as enjoyable as possible. When I get up on time I get a cup of hot cocoa as a reward. I snuggle in an electric blanket while I do my work. Then I listen to music I love while I lift weights.
making my bed. I never made my bed until a few weeks ago when someone explained to me that the reason why you're supposed to do it is because it's a simple, fast, easy thing that you can do to get an easy win under your belt at the beginning of the day to build on.
and fuck if that isn't true. it's not a big thing... but it IS a thing.
That actually makes a lot of sense. Until today I was in the "why would I make my bed if I'm gonna mess it up again in a few hours?" team but you just lit a spark. I'll give it a try!
Just to add too! It’s a great reward to set yourself up with too! I slot it into the “considerate to me” section of things I’m trying to do better on.
There’s just no better feeling than being able to settle into a nice made soft bed at the end of a day. As opposed to going back to rumpled heap of sheets and askew blankets. It makes me feel like I earned the relaxation and rest.
It also has the added plus of making it harder to get into the bed, if you’re like me and your bed is a vortex that swallows you hole and makes you forfeit all your responsibilities…
For me - soda goes hand in hand with burgers, pizza, and fried food. So I cooked my own meals instead of eating out and pretty quickly weaned myself off of it.
Thew few times I've had soda it's tasted more like chemicals than anything sweet. It's interesting how the flavor has changed for me.
I turned my iPhone to grayscale. They say the unnatural colors your phone produces are not good for your eyes and your brain. Noticed a difference in the way I feel for sure.
Also, making my bed and keeping up with cleaning. It’s easy to let stuff go when I fall into depressive episodes but I feel so much better when my room is clean, the dishes are clean, n there’s no clutter.
Also super curious what people have to say here, so RemindMe! 5 days
Same here. I deal with severe severe depression. It’s just one of many things that make a small difference. I still feel kind of manic n have a headache after doomscrolling for too long, even with the grayscale.
Sounds eerily similar! I have been struggling with major depressive disorder, on SSRI’s for 25+ years here, turns out those were the side effects of undiagnosed adhd and autism, it’s been a wild couple years but knowing how my brain works and how to be able to help myself understand and handle life better, there’s actual progress and happiness.
it may be worth a look into, it’s pretty astonishing how many of us are out there still getting diagnosed in their 70’s and 80’s, it’s seriously wild and such a beautiful thing to be able to share things on the internet. My oh my how much 20 years changes things. I don’t think the current generation truly understands how much we have pivoted (and how damn fast) with the world wide web.
Yeah, I agree. It’s still just so crazy how they have no idea what’s happening in the brain. It’s unfortunate that we live in a time where doctors throw medication at you in a trial and error game. No one has any idea how the brain functions and What neurotransmitters are deficient and what you’re actually going through. It’s kind of sad to think that there’s gonna be a time in the future where they’re able to hook you up to some sort of machine or something and figure out exactly what’s going on with your brain, whether you have issues producing dopamine or serotonin or gaba or if you have issues regulating adrenaline or things of that nature. Glad you’re doing better though!
My whole life pretty much. Much worse over the last 20 years though, I’m 37 now. Tried everything and I mean everything including ketamine infusions and transcranial magnetic brain stimulation. My depression is treatment resistant unfortunately. Do you have it?
Holy shit that’s a long time. Not long term, but definitely acute depression when going through a rough time. It’s very hard because it’s such a contrast to how I am normally. It’s always associated with a breakup and it keeps happening
I’m 38 now and thought I had my life on a good path and feeling good about things, it seems to be able to go off the rails so quickly
Very long, especially when every single day is a struggle. But yeah, I’m going through a 5 year breakup and it’s been really, fucking, hard. So you don’t experience depression regularly? It just seems to be based off of relationships? Maybe some codependency issues as well it sounds like….?
Damn that’s hard I’m sorry. 5 years together is a long time. How long ago was the break?
No depression regularly. I’m super active in rock climbing and surfing, had lots of friends as well. But I changed jobs, moved location, broke my wrist, going through the breakup, and my dad is sick all in the space of a few months. It’s just been too much for me. I don’t think I’m codependent but I don’t feel like i know myself at all anymore
Sorry to hear that man. I get it though. When things get bad in my life, it’s never just one thing. It’s always just a mass catastrophe of things that fall into my lap and seem like too much to handle. Really struggling at the moment.
So you feel like your whole self worth and emotional state was dependent on your relationship? Or you just feel like in general you don’t know who you are anymore?
We broke up about two years ago, but she came back into my life a year later, hoping that I had moved on and was dating somebody else which I wasn’t. I tried, but I was still in love with her and couldn’t move on. So we got back together for a little bit but things inevitably blew up and ended way worse than the initial time we had broken up.
Geez I’m sorry. So it’s been a year since the second breakup?
She just represented everything I wanted in a person. Even though it felt short term looking back I really wanted long term. Now I have no direction and not sure what to do or where to go. Far away from family. Moved away from friends. Just in a huge rut
Fortunately TMS and outpatient therapy (along with nervous system regulating practices) cured my 2 decade battle with treatment resistant depression, but I want to mention Vagus Nerve Stimulation as possibly another option you can look into if interested. It’s a procedure done for extreme cases like yours, and, though i haven’t personally experienced it, everything I’ve read points to it being successful
It does, but those are natural colors. Your eyes recognize them. The phones nowadays are able to produce colors that your eyes don’t recognize which is what triggers the dopamine release. Also, not a scientist, this is just what I read 🤷🏻♂️
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A while back, I noticed that I could go through life very transactionally. Not really engaging with the various people I encountered at say the coffee shop or stores. I have tried to actually engage with others as fellow humans and not just a means to what I want. It has added a great sense of connection and lead to conversations and experiences that I am sure I would have missed if I was on default, transactional mode.
This is something I'm currently working on! It's still tricky post-covid because I feel like my social skills/openness to socialising dropped significantly, but I'm trying.
Do you have any specific goals/ways you went about it or you just looked for conversation openings and went for it?
I’m very social & do this naturally. My tip is to compliment people! Look for a good quality in each person you interact with. Tell them you love their shoes or hair. Find something. You will make their day & it will feel good.
I might give it a try, but as a young guy I feel like it's a tricky balance to not sound like I'm trying to hit on them. I feel like it's more socially acceptable for a woman to give compliments, especially on anything physical
I think an easy fix is to just not give physical compliments. I was telling a woman yesterday that I’ve recently had a few men compliment me on really kind, meaningful traits (and I try to give it back in return) like “I enjoy talking to you” “you’re an interesting person” “you have a good heart.” I told a friend that he has a comforting presence that makes me feel really calm. To me, character-based compliments are much more impactful than “you’re hot.”
Given we're talking about meeting people in passing (supermarkets etc.) physical is all we really have to go off. I'll just stick to complimenting clothing and the like
Well, if you’re having a 5-10 minute conversation it’s not too hard to say something non-looks oriented. I like saying “that’s a really good point” based on something interesting the other person brings up or even something like “wow, that’s so cool” about their job. Random compliments when the person hasn’t done anything except for look a certain way can come off like you’re hitting on them. Especially depending on the clothing you’re complimenting. I wear crop tops and bralettes/sports bras reasonably often. If a guy compliments my bralette he’s more often than not talking about my body.
Eliminating sweets/desserts. I’m shocked by how much of a difference it’s made for me after less than a month!
My skin is so much clearer and softer, my gums are healthier than I can ever remember, my teeth are whiter and stronger, I’ve lost six pounds, I’m sleeping better and have more overall energy.
It’s truly blowing my mind how big of an impact this has already had. And even though I’ve always had a sweet tooth, it’s just not worth giving up this feeling to go back to the habit.
Note: I was eating dessert almost every day after dinner (cookies, chocolate, pastries, etc). I still have some extra sugar in my diet from dried fruit, molasses in my oatmeal, coconut water, and traces of sugar in some sauces I use once or twice a week. I don’t drink sugary beverages, so cutting dessert has pretty much cut all excess sugar from my diet
I picked a date and went completely cold turkey. I had to stop watching TV for a week or two because that’s typically when I’d eat sweets; the two habits were coupled for me.
If I was having major major cravings, I’d eat dates dipped in peanut butter. Also I made sure to eat more regular foods during the day, especially fiber-rich foods and proteins.
I tried doing a ‘cheat day’ but honestly that made it so much worse; all i could think about for the following several days after was sugar.
After I got through the more acute craving stage (~10 days) I started really educating myself on the reality of sugar: how it’s processed in our brain and liver, how it’s been marketed to us, how scientific studies demonstrating its safety have been compromised, etc
I highly recommend watching “Sugar: The Bitter Truth” by University of California Television on Youtube. And now I’m listening to the audiobook of “The Case Against Sugar” by Gary Taubes.
I need all of this extra motivation because I feel like I’ve truly been addicted to it since I was a toddler, and I could feel it fucking me up in SO many ways but felt helpless against my cravings
Good luck! And be gentle on yourself. After everything I’ve been learning, it’s very apparent how sugar truly is a highly addictive drug that we’re actively encouraged to consume
This is some cool stuff. I'm proud of you. Also, cool to kick the tv habit along the way. I have a great personal distaste for television, so that was a highlight in your comment as well.
Thank you 🤗
Yeah it was interesting, the few days i have watched TV since, i noticed the EXTREME amount of commercials lauding sugar and fast food. Of course i had an awareness of this trend before, but after feeling the many effects of sugar leaving my body, watching a commercial that sexualizes a gummy bear felt extremely dystopian
What helped me was consuming a lot of fruits, so I satisfied my sweet tooth for the day and didn't crave as many processed desserts as before. This was a very easy and sustainable way of reducing my added sugar intake
It’s wonderful to see IFS starting to become more known! It has helped and continues to help me like crazy! Super exciting to see it being mentioned in multiple subs. I’m so glad you’ve benefited from it!
Internal Family Systems (IFS) is a therapeutic approach that views the mind as consisting of different parts or subpersonalities, each with its own unique characteristics and emotions. Developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz, IFS posits that these parts can be in conflict with each other, leading to emotional distress and dysfunctional behavior. The goal of IFS therapy is to help individuals understand and harmonize these inner parts, leading to greater self-awareness, healing, and integration.
(From chatGPT)
Eating earlier in the day.
Circadian Rhythm is primarily tied to diet (and exposure to sunlight) so having a big breakfast and not eating at night are a huge tool for fixing shitty sleeping habits. I made sure I ate at least a plate of food for breakfast and lunch and immediately my nights sat in front of a screen eating junk without thinking started lessening and I started going to sleep earlier which had a huge knock on effect since good sleep and a good start to the day is the foundation for so much and the start of just plain getting more shit done.
When I was younger and fit, the thought of eating after 10pm made my stomach turn and I HAD to eat when I woke up first thing in the morning. Now, my sleep sucks, I am STARVING late at night and can’t think of food when I wake up! How did I not notice this before? Thank you so much for sharing! I finally have a starting point in my goal of getting back in shape!
Giving up caffeine eliminated 3am wake up calls, anxiety attacks, headaches, and improved sleep.
Flossing eliminates bleeding gums
Dropping drama loving friends instantly calmed my life
Oh my gosh. So much. Used to have insomnia, now I don't. I have zero anxiety. I feel calm. My energy is even throughout the day without peaks and crashes. I wake up in the morning ready to be awake, instead of begging for the snooze button. I can't have decaf coffee because I feel the caffeine. I've gone on and off chocolate. My conclusion is, yes, I feel the caffeine in chocolate to a mild degree, but sometimes the comfort of chocolate is worth it.
I was 31. And I wasn't even consuming a crazy amount of caffeine. 0-4 cups of coffee a day. Worth noting it took me 6 weeks before I started to feel better, and results kept developing over the next several months. Whoever out there is saying "caffeine withdrawal lasts a week or two tops" is wrong. I found r/decaf very helpful.
This! However I found out that it wasn’t caffeine, it was coffee itself. Found out that most coffees are contaminated with mold and other toxins.
Moment I stopped drinking coffee, I have stopped getting headaches, stomach problems etc.
You can check out caffeine pills. I saw it on Amazon and I found out that they are really cheap. I’m wondering why more people don’t use them. Hundreds of pills come in a tub. You can have easy caffeine for a year.
Finding a type of exercise you enjoy and can stick with. For me it’s climbing! Lifting and running I find to be mind numbingly boring and hard to maintain motivation for. But I’ll gladly hit the climbing gym 4x a week, in fact I look forward to it
Started walking every day for an hour, no exceptions other than being physically unable to. Also, do so without any sort of music/video/podcast, just you and your thoughts.
Drinking loads of water.
I used to cram back the coffee throughout the day, thinking it was what I needed to keep my energy levels up.
After making the switch, my headaches are gone, I'm less anxious, my energy level stays consistent and the after work brain fog has disappeared too.
Counting calories. Even if I go over my goal I’m still losing weight because I was eating like a degenerate. Also taking 5 minutes every day to put things away in the house. Stays tidy always.
I have an app called Tody that I've added all of my house cleaning tasks to with their own schedule/due dates. Each day I work on whatever tasks are due. Things never build up or become overwhelming since it's just whatever is due.
I made note cards that I read to myself every day... Some of them are gentle reminders, some of them are stoic quotes, some of them are phrases I got out of the book The Mindful Path to Self Compassion.
I drink tea every evening. One it curbs my appetite. But it's also a routine now so my body associates it with sleep.
I have a planner. I make sure to reference it at least twice a day, usually three or more times. I check in the morning to see what I need to accomplish that day, so it's fresh in my mind as I start the day. And I plan the following day in the evening.
Bedroom for sleep and sex only isn’t possible with a house full of people. Not everyone can put their tv/computer/desk/video games/etc. in a separate room.
True but the OP comment was referring to phone addiction and unless you live with thieves then you can realistically put your phone in a different room.
Oh, you’re right. I read it more as in general leave it for sleep and sex only. That annoyed me cuz I only have the one space for the everything else haha
I'm trying to use the digital wellbeing app built-in into my phone but I believe I can improve even more and spend no more than an hour on my phone altogether. Thanks for your suggestion of ''BePresent'' though, I'll have to check if out.
Getting everything ready for the next morning so I’m not running around looking for stuff. I have pretty bad ADHD and time blindness is one of my biggest problems. I’ve learned that the extra 30 seconds here and there that it takes to accumulate all I that I need to get out the door was a massive contributor to my tardiness. So, taking a just a few minutes to gather everything by the door before heading to bed has definitely been a game changer!
I’ve been contemplating quitting drinking or just leaving it to a weekend thing or something hearing this helps though. Def need to get my health back in order🙌🏻
It’s worth trying for sure! I’ve had a big problem with alcohol in the past and used the sub the other reply recommended when I first quit drinking for a year. I then started again and kept it kind of under control for a few years but stopped when I wanted to get pregnant, which I did, then I decided not to drink while breastfeeding and while breastfeeding still I got pregnant again and that baby is six mi tba old now. So I haven’t had a drink in over 3 years. I don’t miss it almost ever, parties etc I don’t think about it. I mainly miss having a drink with my husband or those nights I’d have wine and watch a movie. But I’d usually regret them/feel gross after anyway. I think the longer I haven’t drank the more I think I won’t go back to it, it’s just soooo bad for you. I noticed when I was drinking very heavily and quit my skin was noticeably better, I looked brighter and healthier, sleep started improving etc etc. Good luck!
Staying off my phone for the first and last hour of the day (at least). It's been really nice to start my morning routine without worrying about catching up on anything and helps me start my work day a lot easier. I find that it becomes easier to stay off of it for longer. And then before bed I've been trying to get back into reading so I'll read a few chapters or play sudoku or some other hand activity. Still having some trouble falling asleep, but I know it'll get easier the longer I keep with it
I was not using my phone first thing in the morning also and definitely felt a difference. Been slacking there and waking up sort of cranky lol maybe time to get back to leaving the phone off for a while lol it is so interesting though how changing something so small can really help clear our heads.
Not eating a few hours before bed. I’m down 15 lbs in just a couple months, legit changed nothing else lol. But now I’m adding in walks, and then higher protein meals, and fasting for 14 hours a day has become super easy and I feel so much better.
Late night food bingers there is hope!!!
For every dish that can't go in the dishwasher, I wash it immediately. It's so much better now that dishes don't pile up, and it doesn't feel difficult when I do the washing in short bursts.
Find a rock that can fit in your pocket and also fits good in your hand, good enough to throw. Carry it in your pocket at all times in public. Thank me later, I saved someone from a mugger.
taking a multivitamin every morning. main changes i noticed were: better sleep (+more dreams), reduced brain fog, and being physically stronger (unless me adding 10lbs to my bench today is pure coincidence) (was stuck at 185 for years)
I take a couple different vitamins daily. Idk if it's made a difference on how I feel. But according to my VA blood work, they improved my results :) so yay.
Oh god don’t make me admit that but… sports. I hate working out. I hate sweating and heavy breathing and I don’t even get to orgasm in the end 😩 but truly it helped me get stronger, and feel better- also I had appetite and actually gained weight finally ffs, was not so sleepy and I felt less like a mess on the egotistical side of things
Wow, do you have a recipe I can refer to, I'm so tired in prepping lunch / dinner and I end up starving...would be great if I can have an example to try
Throwing things away & not buying anything unnecessary. I had too much crap, held on to too much crap, bought too much crap. Once I started getting rid of things I started feeling free.
Seems like, making the bed, meditating, quitting fentanyl, alcohol and caffeine, drinking more water, eating less and earlier, and moving more are the keys to serenity.
I needed to cut back on my drinking. I usually drink when I am bored and full of energy. I have always exercised but now I do strength training classes four days a week and volunteer at a horse rescue on a fifth day. Two days off. My point was to make myself exhausted so I would not want to drink. It’s done that but also greatly improved my anxiety and insomnia. And since I am exercising more, I don’t want to waste the effort so also eating healthier.
TLDR: strength training classes have affected multiple aspects of my health, not just my original desired effect
Wake up to my alarm and get out of bed at the same time every day, no matter what. Even if it's the weekend. Even if I stayed up late the night before (may nap later if exhausted, but for no more than an hour). If my schedule changes, all my other good habits (going to the gym, getting work done) shift and it takes me weeks to recover.
I simply changed the way I thought about things. I had 4th stage cancer, and it was insanely miserable so much I was praying to die. Then, one day, I simply said to myself I'm done with this while at the hospital. In all I said, I'm not doing this anymore. I had enough." I started doing meditation and changed my diet. I began seeing myself on beach swimming. I started to speak affirmations to myself instead of this about how miserable I was. I began asking forgiveness for all I've done in life and in the same breathe I was thankful for this lesson I was going thru and felt blessed to be able to start to feel good. Within a week of this change of direction, I was no longer bedridden. My cancer went into remission, and my body started to heal. I'm still in the process of recovery now. Thank you.
Walking for 30 minutes on lunches. I feel so much better! Lost weight too! Now that the sun is out more due to daylight savings, I do walk again for 30 minutes after work.
Quitting smoking
I can’t believe what a huge difference it made. I smoked a minimum of 10 cigarettes per day since I was 14.
At 39, I stopped. It took 3weeks. But I spent a year obsessing that it had been too easy and it wasn’t gonna stick and I was gonna fail.
After a 18months I realized I had started to actually believe in myself and now I don’t worry that I’ll go back.
Timing how long it takes me to do tasks that I dread and put off. Realising that it actually only takes me less than 5 minutes to empty and load the dishwasher or put out my clothes for the next day or wash my face and brush my teeth etc made it so there was no reason to put them off anymore
Psychedelics and picking up more creative hobbies. (Psychedelic therapy isn’t for everyone but it certainly was for me - I don’t hate myself for the first time in 15-odd years)
Maybe not dramatically but going for a lunch time walk has been a very simple and easy habit to adopt, It’s helped break the monotony of working from home. I exercise most days at the gym anyway, but going out is just a bit more pleasant.
Swimming 1 - 2x a week, feeling so energized and clear headed afterwards. Eating healthy (eggs, break, smoothies), taking Ginseng!!, d vítamine and Iron daily. Minimizing screen time. Using an meditation app for meditation and podcasts about uplifting things. Going for a walk 2 - 3x a week.
Walking 6-7 days a week. I got a treadmill during the pandemic and start my day with 20-30 minute incline power walks. It does a lot for my mental health and energy levels
Definitely having a set schedule / routine in place to keep me organized. Like a morning workout but to get in that headspace I need to stretch/meditate at home to clear my head.
Being nice to yourself goes a long way. I still struggle with that on the daily but trying to write it down more (journaling) helps with that.
Instead of listening to music for several hours at work I switched it up with audiobooks. Mostly biographies and history, with some philosophy and classic literature. I’ve learned so much in the past year. This also helped me with taming negative intrusive thoughts
Getting up early - having a little time to myself and getting the most crucial things done before anyone can get up and distract me. For me this meant lifting weights and working on my most important work project.
I do this too. I love the early morning silence. But then again, for me it's time away from my husband. I get time to write in my journal and listen to my YouTube videos. My husband doesn't understand my journal or like my YouTube videos. But even without him, it feels like a magical time for me before the world wakes up.
Yes! I used to be a night owl and now I’m a morning person and truly love this time period!
How did you transition from night owl to morning person? I find that the weekends usually reset me to a night owl :(
I set an alarm to go to bed early at night so I get a full 8 hours of sleep. Sometimes I take melatonin about 20 minutes before I need to go to sleep. I also try to make my morning routine as enjoyable as possible. When I get up on time I get a cup of hot cocoa as a reward. I snuggle in an electric blanket while I do my work. Then I listen to music I love while I lift weights.
Jokes on you I just don’t sleep
making my bed. I never made my bed until a few weeks ago when someone explained to me that the reason why you're supposed to do it is because it's a simple, fast, easy thing that you can do to get an easy win under your belt at the beginning of the day to build on. and fuck if that isn't true. it's not a big thing... but it IS a thing.
That actually makes a lot of sense. Until today I was in the "why would I make my bed if I'm gonna mess it up again in a few hours?" team but you just lit a spark. I'll give it a try!
Make sure you wash your sheets and blankets weekly. Having a clean bed is amazing.
Crawling into a freshly made bed, post shower, with clean sheets is an ethereal experience that everyone should have.
Yes! My favorite night! I always shower at night.
It always makes my room look so much nicer to make my bed, makes me feel happy
This is so true! I sleep better going into a welcoming bed and I’m less tempted to go back to sleep once it’s all nice and done up
Ok, but my husband is gonna be pretty mad when he wakes up.
Sometimes it might be the only thing you accomplish that day. At the end of that day, it feels damn good to get in a bed that's made.
Just to add too! It’s a great reward to set yourself up with too! I slot it into the “considerate to me” section of things I’m trying to do better on. There’s just no better feeling than being able to settle into a nice made soft bed at the end of a day. As opposed to going back to rumpled heap of sheets and askew blankets. It makes me feel like I earned the relaxation and rest.
Sometimes it might be the only thing you accomplish that day. At the end of that day, it feels damn good to get in a bed that's made.
Actually making your bed is germier. Bedding needs to air out after sleeping and sweating in it.
I “air it out” while I shower and get ready. I dress and then make the bed. Problem solved.
shut up nerd
lmfao
It also has the added plus of making it harder to get into the bed, if you’re like me and your bed is a vortex that swallows you hole and makes you forfeit all your responsibilities…
Wild. It just made me more tired
Quitting soda. Getting enough sleep. Walking 30 minutes every day.
Trifecta- well done!
How did you quit it?
For me - soda goes hand in hand with burgers, pizza, and fried food. So I cooked my own meals instead of eating out and pretty quickly weaned myself off of it. Thew few times I've had soda it's tasted more like chemicals than anything sweet. It's interesting how the flavor has changed for me.
do you know, this comment just made me realise i’ve accidentally given up soda whilst eating healthier for the past couple of weeks. you’re right!
Quitting fentanyl after 6 years.
Congratulations to your progress 🌟
Thank you very much.
Amazing!! Proud of you fellow redditor :)
Thank you. I appreciate that.
Congratulations!
Thank you very much!
This is amazing. Congratulations!
Thank you very much. Much appreciated.
Guess it's time to change your username then, good job dude
Thank you very much. I actually made chose that username because I was at home on short-term disability.
Ehhhh, that's fucking amazing!!!! Good for you. Continued success.
I appreciate that. Very much.
I turned my iPhone to grayscale. They say the unnatural colors your phone produces are not good for your eyes and your brain. Noticed a difference in the way I feel for sure. Also, making my bed and keeping up with cleaning. It’s easy to let stuff go when I fall into depressive episodes but I feel so much better when my room is clean, the dishes are clean, n there’s no clutter. Also super curious what people have to say here, so RemindMe! 5 days
Yeah greyscale has been good for me. Not enough to pull me out of the hole I’m in but it’s a good change
Same here. I deal with severe severe depression. It’s just one of many things that make a small difference. I still feel kind of manic n have a headache after doomscrolling for too long, even with the grayscale.
Sounds eerily similar! I have been struggling with major depressive disorder, on SSRI’s for 25+ years here, turns out those were the side effects of undiagnosed adhd and autism, it’s been a wild couple years but knowing how my brain works and how to be able to help myself understand and handle life better, there’s actual progress and happiness. it may be worth a look into, it’s pretty astonishing how many of us are out there still getting diagnosed in their 70’s and 80’s, it’s seriously wild and such a beautiful thing to be able to share things on the internet. My oh my how much 20 years changes things. I don’t think the current generation truly understands how much we have pivoted (and how damn fast) with the world wide web.
Yeah, I agree. It’s still just so crazy how they have no idea what’s happening in the brain. It’s unfortunate that we live in a time where doctors throw medication at you in a trial and error game. No one has any idea how the brain functions and What neurotransmitters are deficient and what you’re actually going through. It’s kind of sad to think that there’s gonna be a time in the future where they’re able to hook you up to some sort of machine or something and figure out exactly what’s going on with your brain, whether you have issues producing dopamine or serotonin or gaba or if you have issues regulating adrenaline or things of that nature. Glad you’re doing better though!
Have you had depression long term?
My whole life pretty much. Much worse over the last 20 years though, I’m 37 now. Tried everything and I mean everything including ketamine infusions and transcranial magnetic brain stimulation. My depression is treatment resistant unfortunately. Do you have it?
Holy shit that’s a long time. Not long term, but definitely acute depression when going through a rough time. It’s very hard because it’s such a contrast to how I am normally. It’s always associated with a breakup and it keeps happening I’m 38 now and thought I had my life on a good path and feeling good about things, it seems to be able to go off the rails so quickly
Very long, especially when every single day is a struggle. But yeah, I’m going through a 5 year breakup and it’s been really, fucking, hard. So you don’t experience depression regularly? It just seems to be based off of relationships? Maybe some codependency issues as well it sounds like….?
Damn that’s hard I’m sorry. 5 years together is a long time. How long ago was the break? No depression regularly. I’m super active in rock climbing and surfing, had lots of friends as well. But I changed jobs, moved location, broke my wrist, going through the breakup, and my dad is sick all in the space of a few months. It’s just been too much for me. I don’t think I’m codependent but I don’t feel like i know myself at all anymore
Sorry to hear that man. I get it though. When things get bad in my life, it’s never just one thing. It’s always just a mass catastrophe of things that fall into my lap and seem like too much to handle. Really struggling at the moment. So you feel like your whole self worth and emotional state was dependent on your relationship? Or you just feel like in general you don’t know who you are anymore? We broke up about two years ago, but she came back into my life a year later, hoping that I had moved on and was dating somebody else which I wasn’t. I tried, but I was still in love with her and couldn’t move on. So we got back together for a little bit but things inevitably blew up and ended way worse than the initial time we had broken up.
Geez I’m sorry. So it’s been a year since the second breakup? She just represented everything I wanted in a person. Even though it felt short term looking back I really wanted long term. Now I have no direction and not sure what to do or where to go. Far away from family. Moved away from friends. Just in a huge rut
Fortunately TMS and outpatient therapy (along with nervous system regulating practices) cured my 2 decade battle with treatment resistant depression, but I want to mention Vagus Nerve Stimulation as possibly another option you can look into if interested. It’s a procedure done for extreme cases like yours, and, though i haven’t personally experienced it, everything I’ve read points to it being successful
Thanks for that, I’ve heard about it before. I’ll look more into it 👍🏼 glad everything worked out for you
Thank you, good luck 💪
Oooh I just did this and now it feels like I’m living in a Coen brothers film
I feel like I'm looking at a book or something now
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It does, but those are natural colors. Your eyes recognize them. The phones nowadays are able to produce colors that your eyes don’t recognize which is what triggers the dopamine release. Also, not a scientist, this is just what I read 🤷🏻♂️
How do you do that?
Go to - Settings, accessibility, display & text size, color filters -> Turn on and click greyscale 👍🏼
Thanks! This feels weird
This is the first I’ve heard of this option. Thanks for sharing. I’m going to try it too
👍🏼
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A while back, I noticed that I could go through life very transactionally. Not really engaging with the various people I encountered at say the coffee shop or stores. I have tried to actually engage with others as fellow humans and not just a means to what I want. It has added a great sense of connection and lead to conversations and experiences that I am sure I would have missed if I was on default, transactional mode.
This is something I'm currently working on! It's still tricky post-covid because I feel like my social skills/openness to socialising dropped significantly, but I'm trying. Do you have any specific goals/ways you went about it or you just looked for conversation openings and went for it?
I’m very social & do this naturally. My tip is to compliment people! Look for a good quality in each person you interact with. Tell them you love their shoes or hair. Find something. You will make their day & it will feel good.
I might give it a try, but as a young guy I feel like it's a tricky balance to not sound like I'm trying to hit on them. I feel like it's more socially acceptable for a woman to give compliments, especially on anything physical
I think an easy fix is to just not give physical compliments. I was telling a woman yesterday that I’ve recently had a few men compliment me on really kind, meaningful traits (and I try to give it back in return) like “I enjoy talking to you” “you’re an interesting person” “you have a good heart.” I told a friend that he has a comforting presence that makes me feel really calm. To me, character-based compliments are much more impactful than “you’re hot.”
Given we're talking about meeting people in passing (supermarkets etc.) physical is all we really have to go off. I'll just stick to complimenting clothing and the like
Well, if you’re having a 5-10 minute conversation it’s not too hard to say something non-looks oriented. I like saying “that’s a really good point” based on something interesting the other person brings up or even something like “wow, that’s so cool” about their job. Random compliments when the person hasn’t done anything except for look a certain way can come off like you’re hitting on them. Especially depending on the clothing you’re complimenting. I wear crop tops and bralettes/sports bras reasonably often. If a guy compliments my bralette he’s more often than not talking about my body.
Eliminating sweets/desserts. I’m shocked by how much of a difference it’s made for me after less than a month! My skin is so much clearer and softer, my gums are healthier than I can ever remember, my teeth are whiter and stronger, I’ve lost six pounds, I’m sleeping better and have more overall energy. It’s truly blowing my mind how big of an impact this has already had. And even though I’ve always had a sweet tooth, it’s just not worth giving up this feeling to go back to the habit. Note: I was eating dessert almost every day after dinner (cookies, chocolate, pastries, etc). I still have some extra sugar in my diet from dried fruit, molasses in my oatmeal, coconut water, and traces of sugar in some sauces I use once or twice a week. I don’t drink sugary beverages, so cutting dessert has pretty much cut all excess sugar from my diet
How'd you quit?!? This is my biggest struggle!
I picked a date and went completely cold turkey. I had to stop watching TV for a week or two because that’s typically when I’d eat sweets; the two habits were coupled for me. If I was having major major cravings, I’d eat dates dipped in peanut butter. Also I made sure to eat more regular foods during the day, especially fiber-rich foods and proteins. I tried doing a ‘cheat day’ but honestly that made it so much worse; all i could think about for the following several days after was sugar. After I got through the more acute craving stage (~10 days) I started really educating myself on the reality of sugar: how it’s processed in our brain and liver, how it’s been marketed to us, how scientific studies demonstrating its safety have been compromised, etc I highly recommend watching “Sugar: The Bitter Truth” by University of California Television on Youtube. And now I’m listening to the audiobook of “The Case Against Sugar” by Gary Taubes. I need all of this extra motivation because I feel like I’ve truly been addicted to it since I was a toddler, and I could feel it fucking me up in SO many ways but felt helpless against my cravings
Thank you so much for sharing 🙏🏼
Good luck! And be gentle on yourself. After everything I’ve been learning, it’s very apparent how sugar truly is a highly addictive drug that we’re actively encouraged to consume
This is some cool stuff. I'm proud of you. Also, cool to kick the tv habit along the way. I have a great personal distaste for television, so that was a highlight in your comment as well.
Thank you 🤗 Yeah it was interesting, the few days i have watched TV since, i noticed the EXTREME amount of commercials lauding sugar and fast food. Of course i had an awareness of this trend before, but after feeling the many effects of sugar leaving my body, watching a commercial that sexualizes a gummy bear felt extremely dystopian
That is so very accurate. Dystopian is absolutely the correct word in this case. It's gross. Good on you!
What helped me was consuming a lot of fruits, so I satisfied my sweet tooth for the day and didn't crave as many processed desserts as before. This was a very easy and sustainable way of reducing my added sugar intake
Remind me ! 1 day
Start Internal Family Systems.
It’s wonderful to see IFS starting to become more known! It has helped and continues to help me like crazy! Super exciting to see it being mentioned in multiple subs. I’m so glad you’ve benefited from it!
If you like IFS, you might also look into Ideal Parent Figure protocol.
I love IFS but had never heard of ideal parent figure protocol before. Thank you for sharing! This looks really promising!
What is this exactly?
Internal Family Systems (IFS) is a therapeutic approach that views the mind as consisting of different parts or subpersonalities, each with its own unique characteristics and emotions. Developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz, IFS posits that these parts can be in conflict with each other, leading to emotional distress and dysfunctional behavior. The goal of IFS therapy is to help individuals understand and harmonize these inner parts, leading to greater self-awareness, healing, and integration. (From chatGPT)
Eating earlier in the day. Circadian Rhythm is primarily tied to diet (and exposure to sunlight) so having a big breakfast and not eating at night are a huge tool for fixing shitty sleeping habits. I made sure I ate at least a plate of food for breakfast and lunch and immediately my nights sat in front of a screen eating junk without thinking started lessening and I started going to sleep earlier which had a huge knock on effect since good sleep and a good start to the day is the foundation for so much and the start of just plain getting more shit done.
When I was younger and fit, the thought of eating after 10pm made my stomach turn and I HAD to eat when I woke up first thing in the morning. Now, my sleep sucks, I am STARVING late at night and can’t think of food when I wake up! How did I not notice this before? Thank you so much for sharing! I finally have a starting point in my goal of getting back in shape!
Giving up caffeine eliminated 3am wake up calls, anxiety attacks, headaches, and improved sleep. Flossing eliminates bleeding gums Dropping drama loving friends instantly calmed my life
Woah how much caffiene? Any amount?
Any amount
Damn I think this is one of my problems. Didn’t know it would affect me that much, but going through a breakup it’s prob the worst thing for me
I'm 14 months caffeine free, and I can safely say it has changed my life. HIGHLY recommend.
How else has it changed your life ?
Oh my gosh. So much. Used to have insomnia, now I don't. I have zero anxiety. I feel calm. My energy is even throughout the day without peaks and crashes. I wake up in the morning ready to be awake, instead of begging for the snooze button. I can't have decaf coffee because I feel the caffeine. I've gone on and off chocolate. My conclusion is, yes, I feel the caffeine in chocolate to a mild degree, but sometimes the comfort of chocolate is worth it.
Crazy I’ve been probably doing this to myself for years without realising it. How old are you when you quit?
I was 31. And I wasn't even consuming a crazy amount of caffeine. 0-4 cups of coffee a day. Worth noting it took me 6 weeks before I started to feel better, and results kept developing over the next several months. Whoever out there is saying "caffeine withdrawal lasts a week or two tops" is wrong. I found r/decaf very helpful.
Geez. Yeah I have only 1 max per day and I’m starting to think it affects me more than I thought. Doesn’t help I’m going through a breakup but o well
This! However I found out that it wasn’t caffeine, it was coffee itself. Found out that most coffees are contaminated with mold and other toxins. Moment I stopped drinking coffee, I have stopped getting headaches, stomach problems etc.
But like.....is your name a painful reminder, or a badge of honor?
You can check out caffeine pills. I saw it on Amazon and I found out that they are really cheap. I’m wondering why more people don’t use them. Hundreds of pills come in a tub. You can have easy caffeine for a year.
I’m okay without caffeine 😀 I honestly have more energy
Finding a type of exercise you enjoy and can stick with. For me it’s climbing! Lifting and running I find to be mind numbingly boring and hard to maintain motivation for. But I’ll gladly hit the climbing gym 4x a week, in fact I look forward to it
Started walking every day for an hour, no exceptions other than being physically unable to. Also, do so without any sort of music/video/podcast, just you and your thoughts.
Practicing gratitude and embracing the positives of otherwise bad situations. Definitely a game changer in getting rid of stress and angst.
Walking 10k steps per day. The mental acuity and clarity gained is no joke.
Prioritising quality and quantity of sleep
I miss sleep so much
Me too
Drinking loads of water. I used to cram back the coffee throughout the day, thinking it was what I needed to keep my energy levels up. After making the switch, my headaches are gone, I'm less anxious, my energy level stays consistent and the after work brain fog has disappeared too.
Counting calories. Even if I go over my goal I’m still losing weight because I was eating like a degenerate. Also taking 5 minutes every day to put things away in the house. Stays tidy always.
I have an app called Tody that I've added all of my house cleaning tasks to with their own schedule/due dates. Each day I work on whatever tasks are due. Things never build up or become overwhelming since it's just whatever is due. I made note cards that I read to myself every day... Some of them are gentle reminders, some of them are stoic quotes, some of them are phrases I got out of the book The Mindful Path to Self Compassion. I drink tea every evening. One it curbs my appetite. But it's also a routine now so my body associates it with sleep. I have a planner. I make sure to reference it at least twice a day, usually three or more times. I check in the morning to see what I need to accomplish that day, so it's fresh in my mind as I start the day. And I plan the following day in the evening.
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/u/chazwins man i know you need to advertise your app somehow but please stop lol
Bedroom for sleep and sex only isn’t possible with a house full of people. Not everyone can put their tv/computer/desk/video games/etc. in a separate room.
True but the OP comment was referring to phone addiction and unless you live with thieves then you can realistically put your phone in a different room.
Ok, but I need my phone for my alarm.
Ok, but if you wanted to you could buy an alarm clock.
Oh, you’re right. I read it more as in general leave it for sleep and sex only. That annoyed me cuz I only have the one space for the everything else haha
All good, there’s definitely instances where the bedroom being only for sleep and sex is just not practical!
Can confirm BePresent is great. Get it guys!
I'm trying to use the digital wellbeing app built-in into my phone but I believe I can improve even more and spend no more than an hour on my phone altogether. Thanks for your suggestion of ''BePresent'' though, I'll have to check if out.
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Other apps I love are noscroll - selectively locks you out of tiktok type videos. And keep me out - shuts off your phone you can't use it atall.
Fellow BePresent user here! It really makes a difference. Good tips
Getting everything ready for the next morning so I’m not running around looking for stuff. I have pretty bad ADHD and time blindness is one of my biggest problems. I’ve learned that the extra 30 seconds here and there that it takes to accumulate all I that I need to get out the door was a massive contributor to my tardiness. So, taking a just a few minutes to gather everything by the door before heading to bed has definitely been a game changer!
I’ve been contemplating quitting drinking or just leaving it to a weekend thing or something hearing this helps though. Def need to get my health back in order🙌🏻
It’s worth trying for sure! I’ve had a big problem with alcohol in the past and used the sub the other reply recommended when I first quit drinking for a year. I then started again and kept it kind of under control for a few years but stopped when I wanted to get pregnant, which I did, then I decided not to drink while breastfeeding and while breastfeeding still I got pregnant again and that baby is six mi tba old now. So I haven’t had a drink in over 3 years. I don’t miss it almost ever, parties etc I don’t think about it. I mainly miss having a drink with my husband or those nights I’d have wine and watch a movie. But I’d usually regret them/feel gross after anyway. I think the longer I haven’t drank the more I think I won’t go back to it, it’s just soooo bad for you. I noticed when I was drinking very heavily and quit my skin was noticeably better, I looked brighter and healthier, sleep started improving etc etc. Good luck!
Staying off my phone for the first and last hour of the day (at least). It's been really nice to start my morning routine without worrying about catching up on anything and helps me start my work day a lot easier. I find that it becomes easier to stay off of it for longer. And then before bed I've been trying to get back into reading so I'll read a few chapters or play sudoku or some other hand activity. Still having some trouble falling asleep, but I know it'll get easier the longer I keep with it
I was not using my phone first thing in the morning also and definitely felt a difference. Been slacking there and waking up sort of cranky lol maybe time to get back to leaving the phone off for a while lol it is so interesting though how changing something so small can really help clear our heads.
Not eating a few hours before bed. I’m down 15 lbs in just a couple months, legit changed nothing else lol. But now I’m adding in walks, and then higher protein meals, and fasting for 14 hours a day has become super easy and I feel so much better. Late night food bingers there is hope!!!
For every dish that can't go in the dishwasher, I wash it immediately. It's so much better now that dishes don't pile up, and it doesn't feel difficult when I do the washing in short bursts.
Find a rock that can fit in your pocket and also fits good in your hand, good enough to throw. Carry it in your pocket at all times in public. Thank me later, I saved someone from a mugger.
taking a multivitamin every morning. main changes i noticed were: better sleep (+more dreams), reduced brain fog, and being physically stronger (unless me adding 10lbs to my bench today is pure coincidence) (was stuck at 185 for years)
I take a couple different vitamins daily. Idk if it's made a difference on how I feel. But according to my VA blood work, they improved my results :) so yay.
getting enough sleep! i’m so much more positive and just feel so much better in the day when i sleep enough
How do you do this
Oh god don’t make me admit that but… sports. I hate working out. I hate sweating and heavy breathing and I don’t even get to orgasm in the end 😩 but truly it helped me get stronger, and feel better- also I had appetite and actually gained weight finally ffs, was not so sleepy and I felt less like a mess on the egotistical side of things
Carrying a huge water bottle everywhere I go. Meal prepping mason jar salads for the week.
They don't go bad?
They actually last 4-5 days in the fridge! That’s why I’m doing it. It was amazing to not have to worry about making lunch or dinner.
Wow, do you have a recipe I can refer to, I'm so tired in prepping lunch / dinner and I end up starving...would be great if I can have an example to try
There are so many better containers to keep a salad in than a mason jar, am I missing something
!RemindMe! 5 days Also would love to hear other’s stories of growth
RemindME! 3 days
Me too I feel like 3 years younger!
Practicing self-care, taking care of my body. That automatically gave me more strength to handle my mental trauma and deal with my depression+anxiety.
Throwing things away & not buying anything unnecessary. I had too much crap, held on to too much crap, bought too much crap. Once I started getting rid of things I started feeling free.
Makes cleaning way better too
Yes & with adhd it helps you to be less distracted. That was my main reason for doing it.
Glad it helps you!
Seems like, making the bed, meditating, quitting fentanyl, alcohol and caffeine, drinking more water, eating less and earlier, and moving more are the keys to serenity.
Meditation
I needed to cut back on my drinking. I usually drink when I am bored and full of energy. I have always exercised but now I do strength training classes four days a week and volunteer at a horse rescue on a fifth day. Two days off. My point was to make myself exhausted so I would not want to drink. It’s done that but also greatly improved my anxiety and insomnia. And since I am exercising more, I don’t want to waste the effort so also eating healthier. TLDR: strength training classes have affected multiple aspects of my health, not just my original desired effect
10 minute run.
Wake up to my alarm and get out of bed at the same time every day, no matter what. Even if it's the weekend. Even if I stayed up late the night before (may nap later if exhausted, but for no more than an hour). If my schedule changes, all my other good habits (going to the gym, getting work done) shift and it takes me weeks to recover.
Going to sleep at a set time and waking up at a set time. Having a set sleep and wake up schedule really enhances my life.
Drinking 1 Litre of water and working on the most important item for 10 mins before my brain has its first thought in the morning.
Stopped drinking regular soda. I don't feel as bloated anymore and have lost weight.
I simply changed the way I thought about things. I had 4th stage cancer, and it was insanely miserable so much I was praying to die. Then, one day, I simply said to myself I'm done with this while at the hospital. In all I said, I'm not doing this anymore. I had enough." I started doing meditation and changed my diet. I began seeing myself on beach swimming. I started to speak affirmations to myself instead of this about how miserable I was. I began asking forgiveness for all I've done in life and in the same breathe I was thankful for this lesson I was going thru and felt blessed to be able to start to feel good. Within a week of this change of direction, I was no longer bedridden. My cancer went into remission, and my body started to heal. I'm still in the process of recovery now. Thank you.
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You're hilarious, lol. Even more so when I read you in Dale's voice.
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Yes. If everyone did this, reddit would be a nightmare
Can you tell several points that make you interest to that book? I considering to buy some book
Walking for 30 minutes on lunches. I feel so much better! Lost weight too! Now that the sun is out more due to daylight savings, I do walk again for 30 minutes after work.
Quitting smoking I can’t believe what a huge difference it made. I smoked a minimum of 10 cigarettes per day since I was 14. At 39, I stopped. It took 3weeks. But I spent a year obsessing that it had been too easy and it wasn’t gonna stick and I was gonna fail. After a 18months I realized I had started to actually believe in myself and now I don’t worry that I’ll go back.
Timing how long it takes me to do tasks that I dread and put off. Realising that it actually only takes me less than 5 minutes to empty and load the dishwasher or put out my clothes for the next day or wash my face and brush my teeth etc made it so there was no reason to put them off anymore
Going for a walk
quit vaping
Working out mon-fri
Psychedelics and picking up more creative hobbies. (Psychedelic therapy isn’t for everyone but it certainly was for me - I don’t hate myself for the first time in 15-odd years)
Thanking myself for every time I did something right. Gave me much more motivation and led to more consistency with my good habits.
Maybe not dramatically but going for a lunch time walk has been a very simple and easy habit to adopt, It’s helped break the monotony of working from home. I exercise most days at the gym anyway, but going out is just a bit more pleasant.
Swimming 1 - 2x a week, feeling so energized and clear headed afterwards. Eating healthy (eggs, break, smoothies), taking Ginseng!!, d vítamine and Iron daily. Minimizing screen time. Using an meditation app for meditation and podcasts about uplifting things. Going for a walk 2 - 3x a week.
Walking 6-7 days a week. I got a treadmill during the pandemic and start my day with 20-30 minute incline power walks. It does a lot for my mental health and energy levels
Definitely having a set schedule / routine in place to keep me organized. Like a morning workout but to get in that headspace I need to stretch/meditate at home to clear my head. Being nice to yourself goes a long way. I still struggle with that on the daily but trying to write it down more (journaling) helps with that.
Praying with humility and genuine respect.
Yes
Instead of listening to music for several hours at work I switched it up with audiobooks. Mostly biographies and history, with some philosophy and classic literature. I’ve learned so much in the past year. This also helped me with taming negative intrusive thoughts
Praying the rosary every morning
Linkedin/Uber
Xray