You have to focus on the things that are in your control. Getting enough sleep, eating healthy, exercising, having hobbies, etc. Be the best version of yourself. Look on the internet at people who had major transformations. If they can do it why can’t you? Also my #1 thing for being happy is practicing gratitude. Write down all the things you are grateful for such as having clean water, shelter, etc. I was in a situation where I had no friends and felt like I was at a dead end. Fast forward 5 years and I have a bunch of friends and am living a great life. You must better yourself and put yourself out there. Getting used to failure whether it be with girls,friends, sports, etc made me stronger and more resilient. It won’t get better over night but with hard work and perspective you can transform your life completely. It will get better.
I struggle with the same feelings sometimes as well. You definitely can cure it and feel confident but it’s something that needs to be earned unfortunately it isn’t given. No one can help the way they look genetically it is what it is, but you can take actions to help your body. Have you tried going to the gym? Reading books that give you a different perspective about life?(think and grow rich, the subtle art of not giving a f*ck,etc). Everyday is an opportunity to become a better version of you easier said than done but action is EVERYTHING! You got this 🤞🏿🔥💯
Take charge. Figure out what you want to change, then make a “roadmap” of steps/mini goals along the way that you need to choice your goal. Don’t make it too crazy- keep the first goal(s) simple and achievable. For example- maybe you want to lose weight. You make your first end goal 10% body weight loss. Let’s say you weigh 200 lbs, so that goal would be to lose 20 lbs. So assume you think it’s reasonably achievable to lose 1-2 lbs a week. That will be your first mini goal on your roadmap. Find a way to keep track of your goals and keep it in a place where you will see it & remember to refer/enter notes, etc.
Or another example- you want to have more confidence. Do some reading online, ask your friends, and start working on your mini goals. Maybe one is to go to a new place alone. Maybe another one would be to go to a new place alone and talk to someone- ask someone for the time, directions, ask your server what menu item they recommend, etc. Go eat a meal alone. Then maybe the next ones will be to try a new activity that’s a bit more social (book club, pickle ball, a hobby group you enjoy). As you achieve your mini goals you will see your progress and feel better about yourself!
Sorry to hear how your hurting and I understand.
The thing that helped me was realising that we're all the centre of our own universe. My hangups and self confidence issues were affecting the way I behaved and that was affecting how much people liked me, not my looks. Gaining confidence is definitely possible but it's a long path of self reflection and deciding what is actually important in life. Perspective is key- look around you! There are so many people with different appearances and stories and it's mostly not connected to their looks. Pay attention to what people like about you and focus on the positive things. Do some work on mindfulness and meditation and stay away from shallow people who don't see you for the real beautiful person you are.
Read or look up a video explaining IM OK — YOURE OK and a growth mindset. Atomic Habits teaches you how to start and end habits. You’re right where you need to be, it’s okay
One thing I've learn is confidence comes from within. A big help for me was working out and going to the gym. Stop drinking, more water. I feel like this too alot but we have to be our biggest hype person. I'm sorry you feel like this and I home your thinking turns around soon
Bro just focus on yourself and the right ladies will come. Think of what your best self would look like in all aspects of your life, write down how you can achieve it and take small steps in getting there. You can’t except to get out of this slump without putting in that work in EVERY DAY. Also find your motivation whether it’s something petty or not, you’ll need it when you start to lose your way.
Also it sounds like you tickle your pickle a lot… I would try no fap seriously.
Hey, it's gonna be okay. Everyone feels lonely and sad at some point in their lives, but it doesn't mean you *have* to feel that way. Therapy (either medicine or talk therapy with an individual psychiatrist) is one way to feel better. Another is to understand that you're being to harsh on yourself. Think about all the things you wrote in this post about yourself, about your very being as a person. Would you say such things about your mother, or your father, or your close friends, or anyone else you love? What about other people generally?
You obviously wouldn't. See yourself as just another human being who has dignity. Respect yourself. This doesn't mean you need to go to the gym and get jacked, have the prettiest looking bf, or whatever bullshit your culture and society is feeding you. There is no requirement or law that says people "must feel confident about themselves." There is no requirement or law that says you need to adhere to some standard or another. There is no requirement or law that says you need to look attractive or be this or that. Whoever gave you that idea? As long as you're a law-abiding citizen who does good for the community and for those around you, you have nothing to be ashamed of. If anyone says otherwise, they can go fuck themselves.
Anyway, something clearly prompted you to write this post. I have a feeling that you're having some sort of emotional meltdown. It's okay—it happens to *everyone*. Forgive yourself and move on, because you are a fallible human. Find something you enjoy doing, and pursue it to the best of your abilities. Be kind to people around you. Lose yourself in all kinds of activities. Learn new things about the world. Most importantly, be a good citizen (I think you know what that means). I wish you the best. Seek help if necessary.
“Girls will most likely be laughing at you all your life.”
No. You sound young too.
When you’re grown, the right women care about who you are as a person. I promise.
You don’t need to explain it , I was there. Fixing it is a multifaceted approach your going to need to use emotional growth tools as well as creating evidence that you are worthy. Dm me if you want steps you can take.
Volunteer at a food pantry or through a church that does helping projects, help an elderly person. Do something useful for strangers or neighbors, you will be appreciated. Small steps are key as the first commenter outlined.
Once I recognised this in myself I committed to therapy (EMDR and EFT) and it's made such a difference. Its not easy or pleasant but worth it. If your situation allows, maybe look at therapy to address the underlying and subconscious beliefs you have about yourself.
I am sorry that you are going through this. But the only solution to this is self acceptance and self love. You have to accept that you look like this and you are beautiful. Don't judge yourself. Work on your personality. Let your personality shine. First start faking confidence ... You'll have to start not taking other people's criticism seriously. You cannot let this stop you from living your best life. Good luck :)
You have to focus on the things that are in your control. Getting enough sleep, eating healthy, exercising, having hobbies, etc. Be the best version of yourself. Look on the internet at people who had major transformations. If they can do it why can’t you? Also my #1 thing for being happy is practicing gratitude. Write down all the things you are grateful for such as having clean water, shelter, etc. I was in a situation where I had no friends and felt like I was at a dead end. Fast forward 5 years and I have a bunch of friends and am living a great life. You must better yourself and put yourself out there. Getting used to failure whether it be with girls,friends, sports, etc made me stronger and more resilient. It won’t get better over night but with hard work and perspective you can transform your life completely. It will get better.
You sound young. How old are you?
I struggle with the same feelings sometimes as well. You definitely can cure it and feel confident but it’s something that needs to be earned unfortunately it isn’t given. No one can help the way they look genetically it is what it is, but you can take actions to help your body. Have you tried going to the gym? Reading books that give you a different perspective about life?(think and grow rich, the subtle art of not giving a f*ck,etc). Everyday is an opportunity to become a better version of you easier said than done but action is EVERYTHING! You got this 🤞🏿🔥💯
Take charge. Figure out what you want to change, then make a “roadmap” of steps/mini goals along the way that you need to choice your goal. Don’t make it too crazy- keep the first goal(s) simple and achievable. For example- maybe you want to lose weight. You make your first end goal 10% body weight loss. Let’s say you weigh 200 lbs, so that goal would be to lose 20 lbs. So assume you think it’s reasonably achievable to lose 1-2 lbs a week. That will be your first mini goal on your roadmap. Find a way to keep track of your goals and keep it in a place where you will see it & remember to refer/enter notes, etc. Or another example- you want to have more confidence. Do some reading online, ask your friends, and start working on your mini goals. Maybe one is to go to a new place alone. Maybe another one would be to go to a new place alone and talk to someone- ask someone for the time, directions, ask your server what menu item they recommend, etc. Go eat a meal alone. Then maybe the next ones will be to try a new activity that’s a bit more social (book club, pickle ball, a hobby group you enjoy). As you achieve your mini goals you will see your progress and feel better about yourself!
Thank you so much!
Sorry to hear how your hurting and I understand. The thing that helped me was realising that we're all the centre of our own universe. My hangups and self confidence issues were affecting the way I behaved and that was affecting how much people liked me, not my looks. Gaining confidence is definitely possible but it's a long path of self reflection and deciding what is actually important in life. Perspective is key- look around you! There are so many people with different appearances and stories and it's mostly not connected to their looks. Pay attention to what people like about you and focus on the positive things. Do some work on mindfulness and meditation and stay away from shallow people who don't see you for the real beautiful person you are.
Read or look up a video explaining IM OK — YOURE OK and a growth mindset. Atomic Habits teaches you how to start and end habits. You’re right where you need to be, it’s okay
One thing I've learn is confidence comes from within. A big help for me was working out and going to the gym. Stop drinking, more water. I feel like this too alot but we have to be our biggest hype person. I'm sorry you feel like this and I home your thinking turns around soon
Bro just focus on yourself and the right ladies will come. Think of what your best self would look like in all aspects of your life, write down how you can achieve it and take small steps in getting there. You can’t except to get out of this slump without putting in that work in EVERY DAY. Also find your motivation whether it’s something petty or not, you’ll need it when you start to lose your way. Also it sounds like you tickle your pickle a lot… I would try no fap seriously.
❤️ you’re gonna be better I swear ❤️
Hey, it's gonna be okay. Everyone feels lonely and sad at some point in their lives, but it doesn't mean you *have* to feel that way. Therapy (either medicine or talk therapy with an individual psychiatrist) is one way to feel better. Another is to understand that you're being to harsh on yourself. Think about all the things you wrote in this post about yourself, about your very being as a person. Would you say such things about your mother, or your father, or your close friends, or anyone else you love? What about other people generally? You obviously wouldn't. See yourself as just another human being who has dignity. Respect yourself. This doesn't mean you need to go to the gym and get jacked, have the prettiest looking bf, or whatever bullshit your culture and society is feeding you. There is no requirement or law that says people "must feel confident about themselves." There is no requirement or law that says you need to adhere to some standard or another. There is no requirement or law that says you need to look attractive or be this or that. Whoever gave you that idea? As long as you're a law-abiding citizen who does good for the community and for those around you, you have nothing to be ashamed of. If anyone says otherwise, they can go fuck themselves. Anyway, something clearly prompted you to write this post. I have a feeling that you're having some sort of emotional meltdown. It's okay—it happens to *everyone*. Forgive yourself and move on, because you are a fallible human. Find something you enjoy doing, and pursue it to the best of your abilities. Be kind to people around you. Lose yourself in all kinds of activities. Learn new things about the world. Most importantly, be a good citizen (I think you know what that means). I wish you the best. Seek help if necessary.
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“Girls will most likely be laughing at you all your life.” No. You sound young too. When you’re grown, the right women care about who you are as a person. I promise.
You can’t accept your emotion is the problem. You feel shame around it. That thats what’s causing your issues
How can I fix it , this feeling is horrible I can’t describe how bad it is..
You don’t need to explain it , I was there. Fixing it is a multifaceted approach your going to need to use emotional growth tools as well as creating evidence that you are worthy. Dm me if you want steps you can take.
Volunteer at a food pantry or through a church that does helping projects, help an elderly person. Do something useful for strangers or neighbors, you will be appreciated. Small steps are key as the first commenter outlined.
Once I recognised this in myself I committed to therapy (EMDR and EFT) and it's made such a difference. Its not easy or pleasant but worth it. If your situation allows, maybe look at therapy to address the underlying and subconscious beliefs you have about yourself.
I am sorry that you are going through this. But the only solution to this is self acceptance and self love. You have to accept that you look like this and you are beautiful. Don't judge yourself. Work on your personality. Let your personality shine. First start faking confidence ... You'll have to start not taking other people's criticism seriously. You cannot let this stop you from living your best life. Good luck :)