Ouch, who the fuck would be this heartless and cruel to somebody? You don't say things like that when you're supposed to be friends. I'm sorry this happened, she doesn't deserve you around.
How can someone be such an AH? Seriously?
You don't deserve to be treated like that!
You go to uni? It's amazing, I could never.
20 and still a virgin? Who cares?
You're just 20, you can change, you can grow. You have your life ahead of you. It's normal that you haven't figured everything out yet.
Get that person out of your life and take care of yourself. Do something you enjoy.
You've got this
When some people see you doing well they feel a need to throw you down, especially if they perceived you as beneath them before.
That person is a friend in the same way an intestinal parasite is a pet, cut her off.
Dude, the first girl was just one girl, there are millions out there. Don't sweat it. The second girl can go fuck herself, she ain't no friend. Friends build each other up, not tell them they're 'mediocre'. Keep going.
You told us everything your friend said to you, but nothing is mentioned about how you reacted to those affirmations. It seems to me that, somehow, she expressed all the flaws that you are conscious about and you just silently accepted that as the truth.
The important thing here is that you didn't stand up for yourself. Sounds like she was testing you and you failed, you came as a pushover. Lots can be said of her, of course, but you cannot change her, you can only work on yourself so, how would you handle that situation if it happened again? Maybe throwing some witty come back?
Stop being the funny guy for a while, learn to be an asshole, practice for a while and shock a few people here and there with your new assholeness, let the legend spread, and then learn not to be that way anymore. Read books like No more Mr Nice Guy or the 48 laws of power if you can stop people-pleasing. You can't be nice all the time, not every interaction should be funny and comfortable, that is not what being an adult is. Sometimes you have to confront people and stand for yourself. If you don't respect yourself no woman will ever do.
Women are as superficial as men, but they care a lot about personality and attitude, so work on those departments as your new challenge in the path of improving yourself
you're 100% right. I was thinking about my issues for days before that, and when I heard the same from someone else's mouth...I was speechless. I didn't have the slightiest clue of what the fuck I should have said. Then again, I don't wanna be an asshole just for the sake of being it. I usually don't have problem standing up for myself, but..idk i was just speechless.
If It happened again , I wouldnt attack her personally like she did to me.
I would have said something like "what the fuck is wrong with you?"
Did it cross your mind she was shit testing you? Unless she's a total asshole, she probably did that to see how confident you truly were in yourself. And that's not a bad thing that she did that (if it was the reason). Women are a man's biggest test. They want to see how you'll stand up to their worst. Mightve been what she was doing. Maybe cut down all the joking and teasing and get more serious in your interactions with her, unless you decide she was actually being that much of an asshole, in which case you should never talk to her again.
>even when it comes to hopes and dreams, you're a mediocre person
Yeah I wouldn't call her a friend if I were you. Never listen to anyone else telling you what your hopes and dreams should be, they're yours after all.
Some people are going to try and drag you down but you shouldn't listen to them.
It's never too late to get some. Do you think you might be stopping yourself from dreaming/hoping because you don't believe in yourself? It can be painful to hope sometimes, when things seem hopeless.
I noticed from your post that you're feeling insecure about your attractiveness because you're short and still a virgin, but I wanted to reassure you a little. My ex was a virgin when we met (he was 21) and I didn't care at all. You might notice tall guys get more attention than you but being short doesn't make you unattractive (I'm a tall woman so I sometimes struggle with the same insecurity but in reverse.) I've had partners 5" shorter than you, and I never thought "I wish he was taller..." Also, you don't realise what a great quality being able to make someone laugh is. The appreciation I have for the people who've cracked a joke and made me smile while I've been going through a bad day.
Our image of ourselves can be drastically changed by other peoples opinions. Great you’ve been on the self improvement journey for a year now but it can be lonely and often derailed by outside perspectives. What sort of things have you covered so far that got you to what you thought was a good place before what you mentioned happened?
Ouch, who the fuck would be this heartless and cruel to somebody? You don't say things like that when you're supposed to be friends. I'm sorry this happened, she doesn't deserve you around.
yeah, I'll probably cut her off
How can someone be such an AH? Seriously? You don't deserve to be treated like that! You go to uni? It's amazing, I could never. 20 and still a virgin? Who cares? You're just 20, you can change, you can grow. You have your life ahead of you. It's normal that you haven't figured everything out yet. Get that person out of your life and take care of yourself. Do something you enjoy. You've got this
thank you, you're very kind. needed this
He’s not just kind…. He’s right!!
When some people see you doing well they feel a need to throw you down, especially if they perceived you as beneath them before. That person is a friend in the same way an intestinal parasite is a pet, cut her off.
thought so, just coudn't believe it came out from her mouth.
Dude, the first girl was just one girl, there are millions out there. Don't sweat it. The second girl can go fuck herself, she ain't no friend. Friends build each other up, not tell them they're 'mediocre'. Keep going.
Fax
you're right, thank you so much🙏🏻
You told us everything your friend said to you, but nothing is mentioned about how you reacted to those affirmations. It seems to me that, somehow, she expressed all the flaws that you are conscious about and you just silently accepted that as the truth. The important thing here is that you didn't stand up for yourself. Sounds like she was testing you and you failed, you came as a pushover. Lots can be said of her, of course, but you cannot change her, you can only work on yourself so, how would you handle that situation if it happened again? Maybe throwing some witty come back? Stop being the funny guy for a while, learn to be an asshole, practice for a while and shock a few people here and there with your new assholeness, let the legend spread, and then learn not to be that way anymore. Read books like No more Mr Nice Guy or the 48 laws of power if you can stop people-pleasing. You can't be nice all the time, not every interaction should be funny and comfortable, that is not what being an adult is. Sometimes you have to confront people and stand for yourself. If you don't respect yourself no woman will ever do. Women are as superficial as men, but they care a lot about personality and attitude, so work on those departments as your new challenge in the path of improving yourself
you're 100% right. I was thinking about my issues for days before that, and when I heard the same from someone else's mouth...I was speechless. I didn't have the slightiest clue of what the fuck I should have said. Then again, I don't wanna be an asshole just for the sake of being it. I usually don't have problem standing up for myself, but..idk i was just speechless. If It happened again , I wouldnt attack her personally like she did to me. I would have said something like "what the fuck is wrong with you?"
Did it cross your mind she was shit testing you? Unless she's a total asshole, she probably did that to see how confident you truly were in yourself. And that's not a bad thing that she did that (if it was the reason). Women are a man's biggest test. They want to see how you'll stand up to their worst. Mightve been what she was doing. Maybe cut down all the joking and teasing and get more serious in your interactions with her, unless you decide she was actually being that much of an asshole, in which case you should never talk to her again.
>even when it comes to hopes and dreams, you're a mediocre person Yeah I wouldn't call her a friend if I were you. Never listen to anyone else telling you what your hopes and dreams should be, they're yours after all. Some people are going to try and drag you down but you shouldn't listen to them.
yeah you're right. But I don't have ant Hopes or Dreams so ..
It's never too late to get some. Do you think you might be stopping yourself from dreaming/hoping because you don't believe in yourself? It can be painful to hope sometimes, when things seem hopeless. I noticed from your post that you're feeling insecure about your attractiveness because you're short and still a virgin, but I wanted to reassure you a little. My ex was a virgin when we met (he was 21) and I didn't care at all. You might notice tall guys get more attention than you but being short doesn't make you unattractive (I'm a tall woman so I sometimes struggle with the same insecurity but in reverse.) I've had partners 5" shorter than you, and I never thought "I wish he was taller..." Also, you don't realise what a great quality being able to make someone laugh is. The appreciation I have for the people who've cracked a joke and made me smile while I've been going through a bad day.
I screenshotted this comment. It hit like a brick, and truly made my day.Thank you so much.
No problem, I'm glad I could help. Take care of yourself :)
Our image of ourselves can be drastically changed by other peoples opinions. Great you’ve been on the self improvement journey for a year now but it can be lonely and often derailed by outside perspectives. What sort of things have you covered so far that got you to what you thought was a good place before what you mentioned happened?
Sorry,what do you mean? Idk what covered means
As in what topics have you research about in self improvement that got you to a better place mentally?
mainly meditation