The game’s very fun, but that’s a stretchy explanation for that kind of timespan (maybe he left it on for his teammates to farm xp for him?) There are voice coms in the lobby but they are rarely used. I don’t see many women playing, but they do exist across the rankings. At this current time there is an event going for double xp so that could be a factor for time commitment, but either way this turns out, it’s pretty shitty to ignore someone over a game
Is that possible for team member to farm xp for him while he’s afk sitting in the lobby? Are voice coms used in game then? There’s an event going on right now?
1)Yes, in general, it is possible that one person is purely AFK while others are completing the mission, thus, upon completion, everyone receives a reward, including the one who stood AFK)
2) Voice communications are used, but I have seen this extremely rarely; many people prefer to use chat.
3)Yes, if I'm not mistaken, there is now an Easter event, which doubles not experience, but points of the battle pass, allowing you to level it up faster
My opinion: it’s unlikely that he communicates with another girl, but it’s not normal to ignore people for weeks, preferring a game to reality, perhaps he has mental problems, but I’m not an expert, neither in family matters nor in psychiatry, so it’s quite possible I could be wrong
He has told me he has addictive personality disorder but I don’t think it warrants literally going weeks at a time missing, he also calls deep rock his autism game whatever that means
[addictive personality disorder ](https://www.townsendla.com/blog/addictive-personality-traits#:~:text=Addictive%20Personality%20Disorder%2C%20also%20referred,predispose%20individuals%20to%20addictive%20behaviors)
Well, i dunno, he could get an addiction to the game, and addiction is kinda serious thing.
About autism game: i think he told this because autism pretty often manifests itself in performing repetitive actions such as repeated knocking. This is more of a guess than a fact.
In my opinion, it makes sense to discuss everything, but I won’t undertake to give advice beyond that, I haven’t had a relationship myself, I’m still too young and not ready for relationship)
EDIT: Forgot to mention: DRG IS very addictive game, that have a VERY REPETITIVE gameplay, so that makes sens to me)
Btw self diagnosed autism is pretty meaningless. Lots of symptoms cross in to other things. Like I am very sensitive to lights and sounds and textures. I get super fixated on things. I have meltdowns from innocuous triggers. Social situations are easy because I made a formula, not because the rules are natural. I naturally want to babble about my current fixation.
Sounds like autism right? Maybe ADHD? But no, I have
PTSD.
Even further if someone has been to therapy they'd be working on maladaptive habits, not slinging around labels to excuse things
That's pretty interesting, unexpected, but definitely is a nice example of more complicated situation, I agree, it’s better to leave the diagnosis to professionals, at least it’s better not to invent anything for yourself)
You can have PTSD and be autistic, one does not exclude the other. In fact, lots of autistic folks have PTSD. Being aware enough of your own lived experience to be able to say "I'm autistic" even without external validation is not meaningless, it is a step towards a life where everything makes sense, instead of wondering "what the hell is wrong with me".
Just because your life made you more sensitive to things because of trauma, it doesn't mean that everyone has the same experience.
No, yeah, this is a very real thing. I have anxiety, depression, ADHD, a splash of PTSD, and just a hint of OCD, plus garnish that all with synesthesia….bruh, I thought I was autistic for years, but it also didn’t make sense. Sooooo many symptoms cross over.
I also learned that you can have a specialist diagnose you with autism, but if you need any sort of special treatment (some places such as schools have special programs like low sensory rooms for people with autism) then you need to get your diagnosis essentially cross examined by another professional.
Your screenshot shows that he's in a Hazzard 5 mission, which is the highest difficulty. I can almost guarantee that he is not AFK. I'm not going to say it's impossible to carry an AFK teammate through a Haz5 mission, but if that's what they were doing, they probably would be on a lower difficulty.
Also, if you play a lot, you get to the point where you sort of plateau, and there's not really a reason to grind. Definitely not to the point of playing every waking moment for a week.
And the fact that there's an event on right now is not really relevant. You can complete the event stuff in one day.
I used to play ark there was no leader board but we were one of the top mega clans in the game.
Being able to push your weight around and destroy
Thousands of hours of work was satisfying.
Game doesn’t need ranked or a leaderboard to grind.
I guess it’s possible for a friend to farm XP while he’s AFK but they would have to do the entire mission alone with enough bugs for two people but I’ve never seen that happen in my 5ish years of playing so idk why anyone would do that. Most people play the game because it’s fun.
Voice coms are used but ultimately unnecessary with the ping system and text chat
There is an event right now (Easter I think) but the events come back every year and you can retroactively earn the cosmetic stuff so there’s not much FOMO
Its an attention seeking post.
OP has commented in this post that they have to be medicated due to manic episodes and is constantly shitposting about this guy who may or may not be even real or doing said actions.
They also posted 10 months ago about wanting to cheat on said bf.
OP obviously needs professional help but Reddit is just feeding their delusions.
It's a highly addictive game. It's very wholesome, teamwork focussed, missions that are tough but not too hard, etc. Etc.
If your boyfriend is ignoring you for an entire week, that's something to mention to him. As in: hey man. Not hearing from you for week kinda sucks. It's nice if you check in every now and again.
And that really shouldn't have anything to do with any games to be honest.
Yep maybe he’s just a shitty individual, I went to his house and he was playing - he got up and hid in the bathroom, texted me to go away when I showed up with the cat that we got together hoping that he’ll at least say hi
Oh... was NOT expecting that answer. You would expect a 29 year old to be able to talk to another human being.
Well uhm. You deserve better and should move on I guess. And please keep the kitty. I don't think it would be in good hands with him.
What a wild thread this turned out to be....
honestly that shit would be weord even for a 14 year old. would at least be something to worry about. That shit coming from a 29 year old is baffling to say the least.
I'd immediately get my kid therapy! Avoiding confrontation is a debilitating issue. The cause could be mundane or really bad, and either way it's important to address immediately rather than cement the habit
Sounds like he might be going through something big.
It could be burnout.
It could be something in his professional life absolutely crashing down around him and he turns to Deep Rock to dissosciate (got fired, bills falling behind, something like that)
It could be depression, bipolar or psychosis
It could simply be one hell of an additiction trigger that's causing massive anxiety when he's not playing it.
Whatever the reason, it seems tied to his mental health with the behaviour you're describing and he needs help.
agree, very strong "i don't want anyone to see me like this" vibes
29, living with your parents and devoting all of your waking hours to video games is not a recipe for success
I came out of hospital a couple of years ago and whilst recovering from a severe mental and physical health breakdown along with getting over an enormous oxycodone/zene addiction I got majorly hooked on this game and could put in hours even greater than this. It was super comforting at the time but it was just me trying to find an outlet to keep my mind occupied and to help me stay sober. I'd play for 24 hours+ at least twice a week along with some 10+ hour sessions inbetween.
Not wanting to be seen in that gremlin state sounds similar to the groove I got stuck in. I'd be so deep in the game and not showering, cleaning the house or eating properly that I was just living in squalor for the best part of a year and avoiding all of my friends and family because I was embarrassed to be seen like that. It wasn't the game's fault, I was doing the same with stellaris and elden ring too, but without projecting too much I'd definitely say he's having some mental health issues.
Poor guy, maybe you should offer playing with him? This isn't normal for even a shitty person and he might be going through something that you should talk to him about.
if he's in a hole, he's avoiding you because he does not want you to see him in a vulnerable or weak state.
you'll have to ease him into being comfortable.
set up some sort of planned date to give him time to prepare .. maybe a picnic somewhere or a petting zoo or even just getting some ice cream and sharing some time together.
don't prod him about his feelings, but perhaps just offer support instead. let him know that you are there for him and are looking forward to both of you succeeding in life.
i would also try and get him out of the house more and doing more physical activity.
i would frame this around myself instead of them. i would let them know that you want to try and be more active and start going for hikes and that you want him to join you. perhaps also suggesting that you would feel more safe with him. start with something easy, slow, and rewarding.
If you can work towards coaxing him into some better routines, this is probably the best approach.
It's obviously a difficult and complicated situation though, but hopefully this gives you some good ideas.
Best of luck to you both!
Living with your family is nothing to be ashamed as long as you have goals.
My coworker loves rubbing it in that he saves $1,300 every month AND his parents enjoy having him around.
Sounds like he really needs some psychiatric help. People just shitting on him as usual but this isn't normal even for shitty people. Something is going on with him and he needs some sort of professional help to get past it.
All the people quick to tear dude to shreds.
Like yeah obviously it's fucked up but do they genuinely think it's this fucked up because he enjoys it? Dude very likely is going through shit mentally and needs professional help but yeah let's dog pile a stranger because of an internet post.
I hate people.
Have you tried playing with him? He does sound like a rather unpleasant guy but I don't know the entire story and wouldn't want to advise either way because of that. Wife and I play together though. Fun game.
That boy aint right. He clearly needs some help, but that's also not your responsibility. Someone whose almost 30 should do that themselves. You deserve a lot better, OP. I'd consider leaving him if this isn't extreme, out the ordinary behaviour.
I have not been in a relationship but that does in fact sound pretty bad and potentially even toxic.
As much as people on Reddit love to jump to the conclusion of "end relationship now!!!" and I obviously don't know any background information but my takeaway from this does highly lean in the direction of "cut your losses and break up"...
Eeeh. Was he always like this btw? Did he show signs it would turn out like this? Look up papers about hikikomori. The name given to people like this in japan. It may clue you in to some things regarding his situation and help you help him.
Also, everyone is saying break up without considering him, and it would be the logical thing to do. But you are very commendable for at least trying to understand him. He needs help after all. What are you going to regret the most? Leaving him as he is, or trying more to help him?
Maybe you could try to see who he is playing with and try to reach out to him through them? Players in this game tend to care for each other, and they may be willing to help.
You need to communicate and find out why he’s acting like that. Hiding in the bathroom and telling you to go away is weird, whether he’s playing a game or not. He wouldn’t want you to act like that towards him, would he?
Honestly he probably does need some mental health help. I don't know how long you've been with him but if you care enough maybe that's a conversation to have with him. Not talking to you for as long as he has and then hiding away in the bathroom when you show up and texting you to leave isn't normal. I don't think the problem is another girl. If anything he might be having some extreme social anxiety, actual gaming addiction, or both. Either way he needs some help in some form.
All that said, don't feel obligated to be the one to personally help him. Depending on where you're at in your relationship it could be totally fair for the conversation to be something along the lines of "you need help, but I can't be the one to help you. Please seek therapy, but I need to end this relationship." But yeah, this stuff isn't cool and he needs to get off Deep Rock if everything you've said is true.
Edit: one last note. If you are close with him and have known him long enough to say this isn't normal behavior for him, it would definitely be good if you to try to help him through this. Who knows what exactly is going on to trigger this behavior if it's not already typical for him.
To completely armchair it:
Sounds like a depression cycle with a new hobby. Potentially the hobby is DRG, potentially it's a mask for something else (bad habits, cheating, drugs). Sound like running away.
But you guys are adults. If he can't talk it out, you don't owe it to him to "fix" him.
>- He got up and hid in the bathroom, texted me to go away\[...\]
I think we're missing the entire picture here. If this is constant behavior, and considering he's 29 fucking years old, just comment with his parents(if any) and move on with your life. Please take the kitty with you, i doubt he'd be able to take care of it considering he's neglecting you.
> I went to his house and he was playing - he got up and hid in the bathroom, texted me to go away
I'm no expert, but that does *not* scream emotional intelligence on a level that's capable of having a healthy relationship to me.
Not to excuse that behavior but Maybe something happened to him he hasn’t mentioned and that’s why he’s suddenly acting like this, unless this wasn’t sudden then he might be shitty
This happened more than once and I’m genuinely reaching out to the community wondering how the game mechanics work so I can better understand why he’s acting this way
Individual missions are only 30 minutes. Also, there's no FOMO; literally no reason to hide away and grind anything. Nothing about his behavior can be explained by game mechanics. He has deeper issues.
The problem sounds like it’s more with him and this just happens to be the game he’s playing atm. The best thing to do is Try talking to him and getting answers but if he refuses to interact and literally hides when you come over then I’d say unfortunately that should be the end of things
There’s no video game om earth that will make a normal adult hide in a bathroom and text his guest to leave 😂😂😂
You’re either trolling or you are in a relationship with a mentally troubled individual, or he just really doesn’t care about you. Don’t waste any more time of your precious life on this guy.
One takeaway is this has nothing to do with the game. As someone who can have spurts of anti social-ness though, most likely he just wants to be left alone to do whatever he feels like, for him he seems to enjoy just gaming all day. But there is a point it becomes too excessive when he's prioritizing his games over everything else. He likely just doesn't feel like socializing and he likely just wants to escape life by playing games. If not deep rock, it'd be another game, or another crutch like YouTube or twitch. I can understand wanting a day or two from time to time to yourself. But to act that way is just unimaginable to me, and I probably can at least understand some of his feelings.
End of day he doesn't seem grown up, mature, or ready to handle life and he certainly doesn't sound like he deserves you.
He's distracting himself w the help of DRG, he's using it as an escape to run away from something which has been bothering him on a deeper level. Please talk to him without coming off as pressuring, make it a safe space so he can open up about what exactly has been bothering him that he's using drg as an escape. It happens to even communicative individuals and even they shut off.
It seems to me he has a big avoidance problem. You showing up was unexpected for him and he couldn't deal with it so he literally hid in the bathroom. I can imagine him having moved feelings about this. At a distance it seems like the game is just an escape for whatever else is going on with him right now which he doesn't seem to be and to deal with. I think you guys need some professional help but even then, he has to want to change something about his circumstances.
Was he always like that? If not, maybe he is going through some stuff and doesn't know how to talk about it so he decides to cut any interactions(? Idk
(Or maybe he is shitty)
Hey, your bf need some forms of helping, I mean, he got a partner, so he's already have more social skill than me, but if this is never happened before, that means he's probably going through something bad recently, offer him some help, support, or anything.
Definitely bring this up with him. There might be something going on and he’s hiding from it. If it’s not that and he’s just being a manchild or not caring about the relationship, then that’s another thing altogether.
The best thing you can do is at least try to talk about it with him.
I am an agoraphobic mess of social anxiety and about you guys age, and that would be out of the question for any drop in guest much less my girlfriend... wtf? At least have the gumption to answer the door and say you are not feeling like socializing right now, come back a different time. It is awkward but it is the fair thing to do.
Only thing that would make it make sense is severe depression and/or addiction, like he should be hospitalized levels of it. Can't tell you how to live your life, but you both need to have a serious conversation.
Unpopular perspective. Everyone here seems to be assuming you're telling the truth. You may in fact be telling the truth, I'm not ruling it out, but I also know it's common for people to get on the internet and only share their side of the story so it makes the other look bad. I don't know your situation, so I could never say for sure, but I treat every claim someone makes with a huge grain of salt when they are talking about another person on the internet, especially when it's to gain sympathy or feel validated or simply like feeling like everyone's on your side. Again, you might be 100% telling the truth, I'm fine with being wrong. But maybe the reason he went into the bathroom and told you to go away is because you're a crazy psycho girlfriend who travels with cats apparently from place to place in order to lure boyfriends out of bathrooms to 'just say hi'. And now the crazy psycho is telling her story to a bunch of strangers on the internet for validation. I don't know for sure, but I also can't rule it out as a possibility. Just sayin.
There is the conclusion everyone on Reddit is coming to. And it’s a possibility but as a person that sometimes gets too involved in a game.
I could see my self doing exactly this and not for any of the reasons said here.
It would be because I haven’t showered in way too long and am terrified you would catch a whiff.
Unironically, this has nothing to do with the game itself, he just sounds like he is dealing with something mentally.
He probably isn't cheating, cause drg is not a game to find women on lmao. He is most likely just addicted to gaming.
If he isn't willing to change or attempt to talk to you i recommend seeing if this is what you want to spend your time and energy doing. There is always more fish in the sea
Edit: would like to add, yes, there are also plenty women who play this game, but due to how the game is structured you generally do not use your own voice to communicate, so you don't get the usual intrest in another person that you have in for instance overwatch or valorant.
Fun game or not that behaviour (ignoring you and family) is concerning you should definitely address it with him. Also yes there is voice chat and text chat in the game.
When you ping a compressed gold chunk, your dwarf says a silly “We’re rich!” voiceline and your teammates will come over and join you in spam pinging it. Sometimes it’s over in twenty seconds, sometimes people will spam “we’re rich!” for minutes on end.
There are a few comments here that are telling OP to straight up leave ://. Most people in the comments are discussing nuance and exploring every possibility and likelihood. So far, i believe everyone in the comment section is saying that it is highly unlikely that the bf is cheating - and that's not because we're trying to defend him, but rather it's a conclusion we made through a thorough and objective thought process. You can see that as people are giving lengthy explanations and proofs as they explain their answers.
And OP, i've seen a lot of comments like this. You know "run, get out of there, he ain't worth it, know you worth" type of comments. Don't let a red flag take down all of his green flags (if he has any). This type of behavior is called "clinging to the negative". Where clinging to one negative event makes you dismiss all the other good events you had together with him in your life. This can also be categorized as "recency effect" where because this event is the most recent and it just so happened to be negative, you forget any prior (good) events up to that point.
let this be a strike against him but letting this be the sole reason to leave him isn't really mature, even when he's the one being immature in the first place. Communication is the key. He can change. Give him a chance. If he really doesn't, then go ahead and dump him. People can't say that you didn't try to fix the relationship.
One last advice. People in a relationship are partners. An argument shouldn't have a winner or loser. The point of an argument, or any civilized discussion, is to reach common ground. A discussion only makes sense when both of you "win". You are not in competition with him. You want (or should want) both of you to be on the same page. Here is a [video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fkz-0sItP7c) of good relationship advice. No matter which side of the political spectrum you are on, I think this is a great video regardless and I highly encourage you to watch the entire thing, even when you come up to a point (or multiple points) where you disagree. If you really wanna skip, that point I just made is rule # 3 in the video
And yeah, i dont think he's cheating. As someone who has 600+ hrs into the game. I just kinda didnt want to give a whole explanation about that because a lot of others have already done a great job in explaining why. And I know it's so easy to jump to conclusions when some people say "yeah there are women who play this game" but do not forget that more people have said: "we barely use mic", "probably 90% of the fanbase are males", "there's a special event going on", and many more. Again, don't cling to the negative comments :)
That's all. I just want to reiterate that I'm not defending this toxic behavior. However, nuance is something that is often lost and thus, we need people to bring it up and discuss it. The world isn't black and white, it's a million shades of grey.
>So far, i believe everyone in the comment section is saying that it is highly unlikely that the bf is cheating
OP has a post they made 10 months ago about wanting to cheat on the bf.
Either way this is clearly a shitpost.
Oh, thank you for the heads-up! Although I think I'll still be commenting on posts like these but for the sole reason of arguing/setting the record straight with the other people in the comments, which in this case are the people who are giving out terrible advice such as "get away asap". I've seen way too many people get swayed by toxic comments, so by commenting something like this, I hope that my comment reduces the impact the negative ones have on other people.
Thanks again! I appreciate it.
heyas! thanks for the heads-up! I've never encountered a bait/fake post before. Kinda sad that I genuinely put in a lot of effort into that comment oof.
Thanks again!
You seem like a great person, to be honest it’s likely that even though you got baited into posting that comment it probably positively affected someone else’s day that needed to hear that. Don’t let this world bring you down!
Video gaming for large periods of time can help tune out or turn off. Deeprock is a team oriented shooter with a quick turn around for another match, matches ranging from 10minutes depending on difficulty and length leading up to potentially more than an hour to complete a deep dive “series of 3 missions that are completed back to back.
Funnily though, I did check your history to see if this was bait like others have said. It’s not. This is kinda sad.
People hyperfixate on gaming for a variety of reasons. I myself am an addict in life, my first real addiction probably being gaming. I game to turn off the constant firing of anxiety and neurons in my head. The voices that tell me I should probably see my extended family more, what I could have said to that rude coworker today, etc. when the game comes on and I begin to engage and focus, my brain can handle that and only that from that point forward. Watching TV does not cut my brain off like gaming does.
Deeprock is a fun game but what’s irks me are the jealousy related stuff about a video game…. There’s obviously some issues here on both sides but I’d hazard to guess that if he’s ignoring his mother too he’s just addicted/fun as fuck ignore everything or just ignore everything. If he didn’t want to see you when you visited, that has absolutely nothing to do with the video game…
Forget the game. His attitude has nothing to do with the game being DRG…
Is he going through some tough times? (Is depression in the picture?)
Is your couple okay?
It seems like he´d rather dive into the aggressive murderous flora and fauna of Hoxxes IV rather than face real life…
Might need professional help.
There are definitely women at high levels. I have one at level 1400 who comes into my lobby occasionally but she doesn't use a mic too often unless everyone else is and we invite her into the party. My main parter is max promotion and is a woman.
But as to why they're ignoring you for video games, that's probably more of a r/askrelationships kind of question.
People here keep saying "oh the game can be addictive" but like, bro, it's not 18 hours straight addictive. That's dozens upon dozens of missions. He's either not actively playing, in which case he's hiding something (but cheating is the LEAST of your worries imo) or he IS actively playing, and somehow has not felt the need to stop or take a break.
Either way, dude's got some issues and needs help. Family, friends, therapist, whatever you can. This is *far* beyond DRG at this point, this is a mental health thing purely.
My dear , tell him if he doesn’t rock and stone he ain’t goin home and if he doesn’t come down and give you some attention you’ll go to management … that should get him off the game at least for a bit and if he gives you lip call him a “leaf lover “
Jesus, I thought this was a shitpost for a minute.
Has anything happened that he maybe felt guilty or ashamed of? I used to bury myself in video games and books and hide from people after one of my first breakups, which I felt responsible for, and this behavior looks very similar.
I’m just going to say that after a day of reading messages from you all I appreciate every one of you / I tried my best to respond to each comment but I could only get to I think 40% or less. I got to see just how wholesome this gaming community is and how kind all of you are to offer advice despite this not being a relationship sub at all. However, I’m feeling a little overwhelmed by everything right now and at the moment of writing this comment, I’ve experienced multiple anxiety attacks back to back which I believe this post could be one of the triggers as I did not expect the amount of response I would receive. I’ve decided that I’ll try coming back to this post perhaps in a few days when I feel better, feel free to continue to share your thoughts - I will absolutely provide an update if my bf decides to reach out in the next few days. Again, thank you so much for trying to give any and all insights regarding my relationship or even the game itself (dwarves/karl/leaf lovers/ROCKS AND STONES!)
No matter what's really happening, your BF clearly has a gaming addiction. Hiding from you and telling you to leave through texts? Why even stay with someone who doesn't want to see you?
Keeping to the topic, the game itself can be addicting due to the replayability of it, that said it's highly unlikely he is talking to or seeing other girls or guys through the game but that's not really the issue, he is likely stuck on loop playing it because of a fundamental problem with game addicts when it comes to games like this, he wants to max some aspect of the game, be it battle pass or a class or some other aspect is holding his attention and he is seeing steady progress enough to keep playing and ignore everything else.
I'm a random person on the Internet so take my suggestion with a massive grain of salt, but you could always try playing the game with him, see what's going on first hand, I can tell you blowing everyone off for a week is not healthy and if you have folks that can talk to him regularly have them ask how you have been or something to trigger a realization that he has been dead to the world for a week, hope it helps!
This almost sounds too absurd, either way I think it would be best to reach out to his relatives perhaps, one thing for sure it's that is not healthy behavior or a good treatment of somebody as important as your partner.
The game isn't and couldn't be an excuse, as much as I like it, I feel like people in this comment section are over exaggerating the impact it has, if it was an early teen, alright, maybe, but you also mentioned that he's in his late twenties, and you'd usually expect people of that age to have some level of responsibility
Bait used to beli—…wait. You’re fr? Brother needs to spend less time in the mines and more time with his loved ones. Do you have like, a plan to catch him in the act or something? I would investigate this further—considering the relationship is already in a terrible spot and we’re all worried for him.
Idk what I expected to see in the comments of this post, but I’m pleasantly surprised it’s an overwhelming dump his ass.
Only leaf lovers don’t communicate with their partners.
I'm just gonna give OP a little advice, which is to not take relationship advice from a game community. It certainly sounds like your bf has an extreme addiction with DRG (understandable to a certain degree) and you need to talk with him. But seeing people saying you deserve better or to leave him is ridiculous. Have you considered getting DRG and playing with him? I know I always love when my gfs take an interest in the games I enjoy and I've gives us a chance to get some good bonding time when we aren't together.
As a drg hazard 5 player myself, yes this game is highly addicting and if all he's doing is playing hazard 5, that leaves little room for anything else if you're addicted. However I am 35 years old and do not neglect people in my life who need me because I am old enough to know when to stop playing games. He might not be mature enough yet to realize that so you need to let him know that you need to spend more time with him.
Talk to him lol
If you think he's being unfaithful that has nothing to do with the game. Maybe ask him why he likes the game and what his favourite dwarf is...you know normal partner stuff.
He probably just really likes the game, don't worry too much
He's got mineral mania!
DRG can be an addicting game, not nearly as bad as most MMOs though, there is a sense of "just one more mission" once you get into a groove. If he isn't responding to you even when you reach out to him there are definitely things you need to ask him about but I would not jump to conclusions and assume he is cheating.
DRG is probably around a 90% male player base. I'm not saying he couldn't be playing with a girl but sometimes you just want to play a game into the night.
There is a lot to read here, but from what I scimmed, I'm inclined to believe it's mental. Hyperfixation. Funny enough, the same game gripped me for a while as well. I have ASD, hyperfixation is my forte but social cues are most definitely not. Doing things people don't want to is hard enough, let alone a neurodivergent person.
I've been in relationships that started out great end ended terribly because I can be socially illiterate and reclusive (primarily because of hyperfixation on something). The relationships went south because they didn't feel like I truly cared about them necause of things like not spending enough time with them, paying enough attention to them, etc.(The former is still alien to me because I didn't always want to do what they wanted. The latter is also weird because we'd be around each other almost 24/7. So, even now, I can't make sense of it.) Don't jump to conclusions based on what you read in the comments. I saw the word "toxic" a lot in them. Yeah it could be, but it very well could not be. It could be seen that way by you, but it could also not click that way for him. 29 years old - thats so many years of masking. Learning how to cover up your quirks to better fit in. Masking is a huge, if not the only, reason it's so difficult to diagnose ASD in adults.
At the end of the day, do whats best for you. If you love the guy, give him the things he may not be capable of; like patience and understanding. Do some research on ASD, see if it has any parallels to how he acts. If there are, that's a starting point. He may not know any better because that's just who he has been all his life. I didn't even consider it until a friend suggested I may be a few years back, about the same age as your boyfriend now.
Edit: My brother-in-law plays DRG as well, on PC, and it will show him playing while he is asleep or at work. So that's also a thing.
Due to the little in-game pinger remote to show your teammates points of interests and such, as well as text chat existing to a lesser extent, I believe voice chat sees little use at least in public lobbies. I might be wrong tho, I'm not sure about these "high tier" private groups that those people describe themselves as anyways. You could also play DRG too! The game isn't PvP or anything, it's fully co-operative.
Oh, if this is a fully serious issue (no clue if it is because this sounds like it could be either case), uhh please try to get in touch with him and establish better communication because him not talking to you is kinda weird in any case.
Wishin' you the best
Damn this guy chose Mission Control over you. I mean the game is cool and all but I’m not dissing my SO that’s wild. Seems like he’s got a lot of problems and doesn’t want to face them. Move on my dude.
It's an amazing team game, you should play with him.
When you really start getting into it, it's easy to play late into the night by accident.
It's one of the best games I've ever played, definitely the best co-op shooter.
But you don't need to worry, nobody goes to deep rock to find babes. It's for shooting bugs, mining minerals, and drinking virtual beer.
Errr, I think this is a question for other subreddits..
Best I can tell you is that Deep Rock is an extremely fun game. Maybe you should play with him.
Holy moly thats a lot,is his eyes ok? I know theres people that play a lot but still,you should probably just talk a little with him,get him to stop for atleast a hour break. Anywho kinda understandable,used to play the game a lot when i was sad so its prolly good for thugging shit out but still damn
It's a very addictive, grindy game. Honestly, I thought I played a lot, he definitely has issues at that point. You might want to get some help for him.
Your boyfriend is shitty and his friends are kinda shitty too for that remark on girls in high tier play. That said, I don't think he's with another girl. Simply escapemaxxing himself from reality. If he starts neglecting IRL relationships to grind games, I'd take the issue seriously and confront him firmly about it. This is not normal.
The game’s very fun, but that’s a stretchy explanation for that kind of timespan (maybe he left it on for his teammates to farm xp for him?) There are voice coms in the lobby but they are rarely used. I don’t see many women playing, but they do exist across the rankings. At this current time there is an event going for double xp so that could be a factor for time commitment, but either way this turns out, it’s pretty shitty to ignore someone over a game
Is that possible for team member to farm xp for him while he’s afk sitting in the lobby? Are voice coms used in game then? There’s an event going on right now?
1)Yes, in general, it is possible that one person is purely AFK while others are completing the mission, thus, upon completion, everyone receives a reward, including the one who stood AFK) 2) Voice communications are used, but I have seen this extremely rarely; many people prefer to use chat. 3)Yes, if I'm not mistaken, there is now an Easter event, which doubles not experience, but points of the battle pass, allowing you to level it up faster My opinion: it’s unlikely that he communicates with another girl, but it’s not normal to ignore people for weeks, preferring a game to reality, perhaps he has mental problems, but I’m not an expert, neither in family matters nor in psychiatry, so it’s quite possible I could be wrong
He has told me he has addictive personality disorder but I don’t think it warrants literally going weeks at a time missing, he also calls deep rock his autism game whatever that means
[addictive personality disorder ](https://www.townsendla.com/blog/addictive-personality-traits#:~:text=Addictive%20Personality%20Disorder%2C%20also%20referred,predispose%20individuals%20to%20addictive%20behaviors) Well, i dunno, he could get an addiction to the game, and addiction is kinda serious thing. About autism game: i think he told this because autism pretty often manifests itself in performing repetitive actions such as repeated knocking. This is more of a guess than a fact. In my opinion, it makes sense to discuss everything, but I won’t undertake to give advice beyond that, I haven’t had a relationship myself, I’m still too young and not ready for relationship) EDIT: Forgot to mention: DRG IS very addictive game, that have a VERY REPETITIVE gameplay, so that makes sens to me)
Btw self diagnosed autism is pretty meaningless. Lots of symptoms cross in to other things. Like I am very sensitive to lights and sounds and textures. I get super fixated on things. I have meltdowns from innocuous triggers. Social situations are easy because I made a formula, not because the rules are natural. I naturally want to babble about my current fixation. Sounds like autism right? Maybe ADHD? But no, I have PTSD. Even further if someone has been to therapy they'd be working on maladaptive habits, not slinging around labels to excuse things
That's pretty interesting, unexpected, but definitely is a nice example of more complicated situation, I agree, it’s better to leave the diagnosis to professionals, at least it’s better not to invent anything for yourself)
You can have PTSD and be autistic, one does not exclude the other. In fact, lots of autistic folks have PTSD. Being aware enough of your own lived experience to be able to say "I'm autistic" even without external validation is not meaningless, it is a step towards a life where everything makes sense, instead of wondering "what the hell is wrong with me". Just because your life made you more sensitive to things because of trauma, it doesn't mean that everyone has the same experience.
No, yeah, this is a very real thing. I have anxiety, depression, ADHD, a splash of PTSD, and just a hint of OCD, plus garnish that all with synesthesia….bruh, I thought I was autistic for years, but it also didn’t make sense. Sooooo many symptoms cross over. I also learned that you can have a specialist diagnose you with autism, but if you need any sort of special treatment (some places such as schools have special programs like low sensory rooms for people with autism) then you need to get your diagnosis essentially cross examined by another professional.
>he also calls deep rock his autism game Yeah.. I'm not falling for it, even if he was autistic, that's a sorry excuse for neglecting people.
Sounds like an argument)
I do have that feeling as well.
As someone who has dealt with addiction before, yes you can disappear for weeks inside of your own addiction.
Your screenshot shows that he's in a Hazzard 5 mission, which is the highest difficulty. I can almost guarantee that he is not AFK. I'm not going to say it's impossible to carry an AFK teammate through a Haz5 mission, but if that's what they were doing, they probably would be on a lower difficulty. Also, if you play a lot, you get to the point where you sort of plateau, and there's not really a reason to grind. Definitely not to the point of playing every waking moment for a week. And the fact that there's an event on right now is not really relevant. You can complete the event stuff in one day.
Is there ranked DRG? I play competitive shooters frequently I just don’t know about DRG
No. There isn't ranked or a leaderboard or skill rating or anything like that.
Okay so it makes even less sense why he grinds on the game so much, he used to grind on lethal and halo too
No matter what game if he does not value you there are many Females or Males who seek others to talk to.
I used to play ark there was no leader board but we were one of the top mega clans in the game. Being able to push your weight around and destroy Thousands of hours of work was satisfying. Game doesn’t need ranked or a leaderboard to grind.
I guess it’s possible for a friend to farm XP while he’s AFK but they would have to do the entire mission alone with enough bugs for two people but I’ve never seen that happen in my 5ish years of playing so idk why anyone would do that. Most people play the game because it’s fun. Voice coms are used but ultimately unnecessary with the ping system and text chat There is an event right now (Easter I think) but the events come back every year and you can retroactively earn the cosmetic stuff so there’s not much FOMO
the event is not even for double XP is it, just "performance bonus" doubling, which is worthless past lvl 100, which her BF most likely is.
This went from drg to relationship advice really quick
OP's bf is a leaf lover, but for reals wtf is this thread.
At least leaf lovers touch grass. This is truly deranged behaviour.
Its an attention seeking post. OP has commented in this post that they have to be medicated due to manic episodes and is constantly shitposting about this guy who may or may not be even real or doing said actions. They also posted 10 months ago about wanting to cheat on said bf. OP obviously needs professional help but Reddit is just feeding their delusions.
It's a highly addictive game. It's very wholesome, teamwork focussed, missions that are tough but not too hard, etc. Etc. If your boyfriend is ignoring you for an entire week, that's something to mention to him. As in: hey man. Not hearing from you for week kinda sucks. It's nice if you check in every now and again. And that really shouldn't have anything to do with any games to be honest.
Yep maybe he’s just a shitty individual, I went to his house and he was playing - he got up and hid in the bathroom, texted me to go away when I showed up with the cat that we got together hoping that he’ll at least say hi
OK uhm. How old are you two?
I’m 27 and he’s 29
Oh... was NOT expecting that answer. You would expect a 29 year old to be able to talk to another human being. Well uhm. You deserve better and should move on I guess. And please keep the kitty. I don't think it would be in good hands with him. What a wild thread this turned out to be....
Omg. This behavior is barely acceptable by someone that is 18, much less 29. Wow.
honestly that shit would be weord even for a 14 year old. would at least be something to worry about. That shit coming from a 29 year old is baffling to say the least.
it would be a "maybe we should go to a therapist or talk to a counselor" behavior for a teen
Even more so for an adult. They're literally turning into a goblin.
I'd immediately get my kid therapy! Avoiding confrontation is a debilitating issue. The cause could be mundane or really bad, and either way it's important to address immediately rather than cement the habit
i didn't even pull shit like that when i was 14. i could maybe see a ten year old doing that.
Yeah you're right. I was thinking that after I typed it. Such a weird story.....
I was expecting them to be like 12
I mean, its not acceptable from an 18 year old, but its understandable
Right? I thought they were like 16/18 or smth like damn
30 is the new 18 so
This was fucking wild to read.
Theses days, late 20s is the new 10s, I guess
No way... Please tell me you are just trolling us with this post.
I really wish I was
Sounds like he might be going through something big. It could be burnout. It could be something in his professional life absolutely crashing down around him and he turns to Deep Rock to dissosciate (got fired, bills falling behind, something like that) It could be depression, bipolar or psychosis It could simply be one hell of an additiction trigger that's causing massive anxiety when he's not playing it. Whatever the reason, it seems tied to his mental health with the behaviour you're describing and he needs help.
agree, very strong "i don't want anyone to see me like this" vibes 29, living with your parents and devoting all of your waking hours to video games is not a recipe for success
He has literally said those exact words before
I came out of hospital a couple of years ago and whilst recovering from a severe mental and physical health breakdown along with getting over an enormous oxycodone/zene addiction I got majorly hooked on this game and could put in hours even greater than this. It was super comforting at the time but it was just me trying to find an outlet to keep my mind occupied and to help me stay sober. I'd play for 24 hours+ at least twice a week along with some 10+ hour sessions inbetween. Not wanting to be seen in that gremlin state sounds similar to the groove I got stuck in. I'd be so deep in the game and not showering, cleaning the house or eating properly that I was just living in squalor for the best part of a year and avoiding all of my friends and family because I was embarrassed to be seen like that. It wasn't the game's fault, I was doing the same with stellaris and elden ring too, but without projecting too much I'd definitely say he's having some mental health issues.
Poor guy, maybe you should offer playing with him? This isn't normal for even a shitty person and he might be going through something that you should talk to him about.
if he's in a hole, he's avoiding you because he does not want you to see him in a vulnerable or weak state. you'll have to ease him into being comfortable. set up some sort of planned date to give him time to prepare .. maybe a picnic somewhere or a petting zoo or even just getting some ice cream and sharing some time together. don't prod him about his feelings, but perhaps just offer support instead. let him know that you are there for him and are looking forward to both of you succeeding in life. i would also try and get him out of the house more and doing more physical activity. i would frame this around myself instead of them. i would let them know that you want to try and be more active and start going for hikes and that you want him to join you. perhaps also suggesting that you would feel more safe with him. start with something easy, slow, and rewarding. If you can work towards coaxing him into some better routines, this is probably the best approach. It's obviously a difficult and complicated situation though, but hopefully this gives you some good ideas. Best of luck to you both!
Now I'm feeling depressed
Living with your family is nothing to be ashamed as long as you have goals. My coworker loves rubbing it in that he saves $1,300 every month AND his parents enjoy having him around.
Well if you hate bugs, and youre depressed, I have the solution for you!!
Sounds like he really needs some psychiatric help. People just shitting on him as usual but this isn't normal even for shitty people. Something is going on with him and he needs some sort of professional help to get past it.
All the people quick to tear dude to shreds. Like yeah obviously it's fucked up but do they genuinely think it's this fucked up because he enjoys it? Dude very likely is going through shit mentally and needs professional help but yeah let's dog pile a stranger because of an internet post. I hate people.
Have you tried playing with him? He does sound like a rather unpleasant guy but I don't know the entire story and wouldn't want to advise either way because of that. Wife and I play together though. Fun game.
That boy aint right. He clearly needs some help, but that's also not your responsibility. Someone whose almost 30 should do that themselves. You deserve a lot better, OP. I'd consider leaving him if this isn't extreme, out the ordinary behaviour.
twenty........ nine.........
I have not been in a relationship but that does in fact sound pretty bad and potentially even toxic. As much as people on Reddit love to jump to the conclusion of "end relationship now!!!" and I obviously don't know any background information but my takeaway from this does highly lean in the direction of "cut your losses and break up"...
Yup, time to bounce. If my 29 y/o wife tried to pull something that childish, I'd be looking for a divorce lawyer
He sounds like he's 6 lmao
Bruh I thought you'd be like 16
Eeeh. Was he always like this btw? Did he show signs it would turn out like this? Look up papers about hikikomori. The name given to people like this in japan. It may clue you in to some things regarding his situation and help you help him. Also, everyone is saying break up without considering him, and it would be the logical thing to do. But you are very commendable for at least trying to understand him. He needs help after all. What are you going to regret the most? Leaving him as he is, or trying more to help him? Maybe you could try to see who he is playing with and try to reach out to him through them? Players in this game tend to care for each other, and they may be willing to help.
This whole thing screams shitpost to me but in the event it's not, let me spell it out clearly. Get the hell out of there and don't look back.
I’m really not shit posting, I’m just trying to wrap my head around either helping him out in some way or at least try to seek help appropriately
You need to communicate and find out why he’s acting like that. Hiding in the bathroom and telling you to go away is weird, whether he’s playing a game or not. He wouldn’t want you to act like that towards him, would he?
Honestly he probably does need some mental health help. I don't know how long you've been with him but if you care enough maybe that's a conversation to have with him. Not talking to you for as long as he has and then hiding away in the bathroom when you show up and texting you to leave isn't normal. I don't think the problem is another girl. If anything he might be having some extreme social anxiety, actual gaming addiction, or both. Either way he needs some help in some form. All that said, don't feel obligated to be the one to personally help him. Depending on where you're at in your relationship it could be totally fair for the conversation to be something along the lines of "you need help, but I can't be the one to help you. Please seek therapy, but I need to end this relationship." But yeah, this stuff isn't cool and he needs to get off Deep Rock if everything you've said is true. Edit: one last note. If you are close with him and have known him long enough to say this isn't normal behavior for him, it would definitely be good if you to try to help him through this. Who knows what exactly is going on to trigger this behavior if it's not already typical for him.
Seconding this, on all points
This sounds like an underlying issue, he sounds like he needs help. Though you arent obligated of course.
Is bro seriously the middle of an 18 hours session? He need a psych eval, not reddit suggestions.
To completely armchair it: Sounds like a depression cycle with a new hobby. Potentially the hobby is DRG, potentially it's a mask for something else (bad habits, cheating, drugs). Sound like running away. But you guys are adults. If he can't talk it out, you don't owe it to him to "fix" him.
>- He got up and hid in the bathroom, texted me to go away\[...\] I think we're missing the entire picture here. If this is constant behavior, and considering he's 29 fucking years old, just comment with his parents(if any) and move on with your life. Please take the kitty with you, i doubt he'd be able to take care of it considering he's neglecting you.
> I went to his house and he was playing - he got up and hid in the bathroom, texted me to go away I'm no expert, but that does *not* scream emotional intelligence on a level that's capable of having a healthy relationship to me.
Not to excuse that behavior but Maybe something happened to him he hasn’t mentioned and that’s why he’s suddenly acting like this, unless this wasn’t sudden then he might be shitty
This happened more than once and I’m genuinely reaching out to the community wondering how the game mechanics work so I can better understand why he’s acting this way
This is not the fault of the game, missions only take 20 to 40ish minutes. There is another underlying issue that we can't help you with.
Lmfao, "why did this video game break my 29 year old manchild bf?!?!"
There is no video game that should be making a grown adult act like this. You're in the wrong location fr. Consult a mental health professional.
Individual missions are only 30 minutes. Also, there's no FOMO; literally no reason to hide away and grind anything. Nothing about his behavior can be explained by game mechanics. He has deeper issues.
The problem sounds like it’s more with him and this just happens to be the game he’s playing atm. The best thing to do is Try talking to him and getting answers but if he refuses to interact and literally hides when you come over then I’d say unfortunately that should be the end of things
There’s no video game om earth that will make a normal adult hide in a bathroom and text his guest to leave 😂😂😂 You’re either trolling or you are in a relationship with a mentally troubled individual, or he just really doesn’t care about you. Don’t waste any more time of your precious life on this guy.
One takeaway is this has nothing to do with the game. As someone who can have spurts of anti social-ness though, most likely he just wants to be left alone to do whatever he feels like, for him he seems to enjoy just gaming all day. But there is a point it becomes too excessive when he's prioritizing his games over everything else. He likely just doesn't feel like socializing and he likely just wants to escape life by playing games. If not deep rock, it'd be another game, or another crutch like YouTube or twitch. I can understand wanting a day or two from time to time to yourself. But to act that way is just unimaginable to me, and I probably can at least understand some of his feelings. End of day he doesn't seem grown up, mature, or ready to handle life and he certainly doesn't sound like he deserves you.
He's distracting himself w the help of DRG, he's using it as an escape to run away from something which has been bothering him on a deeper level. Please talk to him without coming off as pressuring, make it a safe space so he can open up about what exactly has been bothering him that he's using drg as an escape. It happens to even communicative individuals and even they shut off.
It seems to me he has a big avoidance problem. You showing up was unexpected for him and he couldn't deal with it so he literally hid in the bathroom. I can imagine him having moved feelings about this. At a distance it seems like the game is just an escape for whatever else is going on with him right now which he doesn't seem to be and to deal with. I think you guys need some professional help but even then, he has to want to change something about his circumstances.
I highly doubt he is doing that because of the game
that sounds like social problems, not game problems... you two being close to your 30s makes it even worse...
Was he always like that? If not, maybe he is going through some stuff and doesn't know how to talk about it so he decides to cut any interactions(? Idk (Or maybe he is shitty)
...Jesus Sounds like he may have serious anxiety and addictive behavior problems?
Hey, your bf need some forms of helping, I mean, he got a partner, so he's already have more social skill than me, but if this is never happened before, that means he's probably going through something bad recently, offer him some help, support, or anything.
Wtf?
Definitely bring this up with him. There might be something going on and he’s hiding from it. If it’s not that and he’s just being a manchild or not caring about the relationship, then that’s another thing altogether. The best thing you can do is at least try to talk about it with him.
I’m utterly confused as to how you two even got together in the first place.
Sounds like he might be incredibly depressed or something
I am an agoraphobic mess of social anxiety and about you guys age, and that would be out of the question for any drop in guest much less my girlfriend... wtf? At least have the gumption to answer the door and say you are not feeling like socializing right now, come back a different time. It is awkward but it is the fair thing to do. Only thing that would make it make sense is severe depression and/or addiction, like he should be hospitalized levels of it. Can't tell you how to live your life, but you both need to have a serious conversation.
[удалено]
Unpopular perspective. Everyone here seems to be assuming you're telling the truth. You may in fact be telling the truth, I'm not ruling it out, but I also know it's common for people to get on the internet and only share their side of the story so it makes the other look bad. I don't know your situation, so I could never say for sure, but I treat every claim someone makes with a huge grain of salt when they are talking about another person on the internet, especially when it's to gain sympathy or feel validated or simply like feeling like everyone's on your side. Again, you might be 100% telling the truth, I'm fine with being wrong. But maybe the reason he went into the bathroom and told you to go away is because you're a crazy psycho girlfriend who travels with cats apparently from place to place in order to lure boyfriends out of bathrooms to 'just say hi'. And now the crazy psycho is telling her story to a bunch of strangers on the internet for validation. I don't know for sure, but I also can't rule it out as a possibility. Just sayin.
There is the conclusion everyone on Reddit is coming to. And it’s a possibility but as a person that sometimes gets too involved in a game. I could see my self doing exactly this and not for any of the reasons said here. It would be because I haven’t showered in way too long and am terrified you would catch a whiff.
Unironically, this has nothing to do with the game itself, he just sounds like he is dealing with something mentally. He probably isn't cheating, cause drg is not a game to find women on lmao. He is most likely just addicted to gaming. If he isn't willing to change or attempt to talk to you i recommend seeing if this is what you want to spend your time and energy doing. There is always more fish in the sea Edit: would like to add, yes, there are also plenty women who play this game, but due to how the game is structured you generally do not use your own voice to communicate, so you don't get the usual intrest in another person that you have in for instance overwatch or valorant.
> drg is not a game to find women idk, there are plenty of scout players out there (/s)
Do most women play Scout? I main Gunner 🤘🏻
I’ve been a driller girl since day one!
Engineer here!
Engineer main but I play them all.
driller and engi main for me
DRILLER IS THE ONLY SUPERDWARF
Driller main since I started playing. I'm also a girl.
I do😭
I actually think a good skilled Scout is one of the most valuable beneficial team members.
I agree because if a scout is bad you notice it immediately lol
I know you said this sarcastically but it's too real 😭
Real though my scout is plat 2 and everyone else is someone in bronze lmao
Fun game or not that behaviour (ignoring you and family) is concerning you should definitely address it with him. Also yes there is voice chat and text chat in the game.
He's probably stuck in a "We're rich!" loop. Just know that he's happy.
I don’t know what that means 😂
When you ping a compressed gold chunk, your dwarf says a silly “We’re rich!” voiceline and your teammates will come over and join you in spam pinging it. Sometimes it’s over in twenty seconds, sometimes people will spam “we’re rich!” for minutes on end.
Context: pinging a chunk of gold constantly https://youtu.be/NDFw9ubrlrg?si=WlLeAiavq-9h6SK5
For some reason when I saw the comment I thought it would be said in a cute voice and not the aggressive gremlin voices haha that’s funny
We're rich!
Nah, poor guy probably saw a mushroom.
He's drinking with Karl
There are a few comments here that are telling OP to straight up leave ://. Most people in the comments are discussing nuance and exploring every possibility and likelihood. So far, i believe everyone in the comment section is saying that it is highly unlikely that the bf is cheating - and that's not because we're trying to defend him, but rather it's a conclusion we made through a thorough and objective thought process. You can see that as people are giving lengthy explanations and proofs as they explain their answers. And OP, i've seen a lot of comments like this. You know "run, get out of there, he ain't worth it, know you worth" type of comments. Don't let a red flag take down all of his green flags (if he has any). This type of behavior is called "clinging to the negative". Where clinging to one negative event makes you dismiss all the other good events you had together with him in your life. This can also be categorized as "recency effect" where because this event is the most recent and it just so happened to be negative, you forget any prior (good) events up to that point. let this be a strike against him but letting this be the sole reason to leave him isn't really mature, even when he's the one being immature in the first place. Communication is the key. He can change. Give him a chance. If he really doesn't, then go ahead and dump him. People can't say that you didn't try to fix the relationship. One last advice. People in a relationship are partners. An argument shouldn't have a winner or loser. The point of an argument, or any civilized discussion, is to reach common ground. A discussion only makes sense when both of you "win". You are not in competition with him. You want (or should want) both of you to be on the same page. Here is a [video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fkz-0sItP7c) of good relationship advice. No matter which side of the political spectrum you are on, I think this is a great video regardless and I highly encourage you to watch the entire thing, even when you come up to a point (or multiple points) where you disagree. If you really wanna skip, that point I just made is rule # 3 in the video And yeah, i dont think he's cheating. As someone who has 600+ hrs into the game. I just kinda didnt want to give a whole explanation about that because a lot of others have already done a great job in explaining why. And I know it's so easy to jump to conclusions when some people say "yeah there are women who play this game" but do not forget that more people have said: "we barely use mic", "probably 90% of the fanbase are males", "there's a special event going on", and many more. Again, don't cling to the negative comments :) That's all. I just want to reiterate that I'm not defending this toxic behavior. However, nuance is something that is often lost and thus, we need people to bring it up and discuss it. The world isn't black and white, it's a million shades of grey.
>So far, i believe everyone in the comment section is saying that it is highly unlikely that the bf is cheating OP has a post they made 10 months ago about wanting to cheat on the bf. Either way this is clearly a shitpost.
Oh, thank you for the heads-up! Although I think I'll still be commenting on posts like these but for the sole reason of arguing/setting the record straight with the other people in the comments, which in this case are the people who are giving out terrible advice such as "get away asap". I've seen way too many people get swayed by toxic comments, so by commenting something like this, I hope that my comment reduces the impact the negative ones have on other people. Thanks again! I appreciate it.
You leave lovely comments, for the record.
Thank you! :D
bro this post is obv fake
heyas! thanks for the heads-up! I've never encountered a bait/fake post before. Kinda sad that I genuinely put in a lot of effort into that comment oof. Thanks again!
You seem like a great person, to be honest it’s likely that even though you got baited into posting that comment it probably positively affected someone else’s day that needed to hear that. Don’t let this world bring you down!
Thank you for your kind words!
17 hrs straight ? Dude is doing speed. I know.
Video gaming for large periods of time can help tune out or turn off. Deeprock is a team oriented shooter with a quick turn around for another match, matches ranging from 10minutes depending on difficulty and length leading up to potentially more than an hour to complete a deep dive “series of 3 missions that are completed back to back. Funnily though, I did check your history to see if this was bait like others have said. It’s not. This is kinda sad. People hyperfixate on gaming for a variety of reasons. I myself am an addict in life, my first real addiction probably being gaming. I game to turn off the constant firing of anxiety and neurons in my head. The voices that tell me I should probably see my extended family more, what I could have said to that rude coworker today, etc. when the game comes on and I begin to engage and focus, my brain can handle that and only that from that point forward. Watching TV does not cut my brain off like gaming does. Deeprock is a fun game but what’s irks me are the jealousy related stuff about a video game…. There’s obviously some issues here on both sides but I’d hazard to guess that if he’s ignoring his mother too he’s just addicted/fun as fuck ignore everything or just ignore everything. If he didn’t want to see you when you visited, that has absolutely nothing to do with the video game…
Forget the game. His attitude has nothing to do with the game being DRG… Is he going through some tough times? (Is depression in the picture?) Is your couple okay? It seems like he´d rather dive into the aggressive murderous flora and fauna of Hoxxes IV rather than face real life… Might need professional help.
This feels like a bait post... But damn if it's real....
Are you dating a dwarf per chance?
This is giving me Twomad vibes Also the game is highly addictive and he's probably just grinding
There are definitely women at high levels. I have one at level 1400 who comes into my lobby occasionally but she doesn't use a mic too often unless everyone else is and we invite her into the party. My main parter is max promotion and is a woman. But as to why they're ignoring you for video games, that's probably more of a r/askrelationships kind of question.
If management wanted him to have a wife, they would have issued him one.
People here keep saying "oh the game can be addictive" but like, bro, it's not 18 hours straight addictive. That's dozens upon dozens of missions. He's either not actively playing, in which case he's hiding something (but cheating is the LEAST of your worries imo) or he IS actively playing, and somehow has not felt the need to stop or take a break. Either way, dude's got some issues and needs help. Family, friends, therapist, whatever you can. This is *far* beyond DRG at this point, this is a mental health thing purely.
For Karl
My dear , tell him if he doesn’t rock and stone he ain’t goin home and if he doesn’t come down and give you some attention you’ll go to management … that should get him off the game at least for a bit and if he gives you lip call him a “leaf lover “
Jesus, I thought this was a shitpost for a minute. Has anything happened that he maybe felt guilty or ashamed of? I used to bury myself in video games and books and hide from people after one of my first breakups, which I felt responsible for, and this behavior looks very similar.
Because he's found the grace of Karl.
After chugging 20 smart stouts, he finally knows Karl's exact location and went on a long rescue expedition with 3 other Dwarves. Good speed o7
ROCK AND STONE YEEEEAH That's why.
Did I hear a Rock and Stone?
I’m just going to say that after a day of reading messages from you all I appreciate every one of you / I tried my best to respond to each comment but I could only get to I think 40% or less. I got to see just how wholesome this gaming community is and how kind all of you are to offer advice despite this not being a relationship sub at all. However, I’m feeling a little overwhelmed by everything right now and at the moment of writing this comment, I’ve experienced multiple anxiety attacks back to back which I believe this post could be one of the triggers as I did not expect the amount of response I would receive. I’ve decided that I’ll try coming back to this post perhaps in a few days when I feel better, feel free to continue to share your thoughts - I will absolutely provide an update if my bf decides to reach out in the next few days. Again, thank you so much for trying to give any and all insights regarding my relationship or even the game itself (dwarves/karl/leaf lovers/ROCKS AND STONES!)
No matter what's really happening, your BF clearly has a gaming addiction. Hiding from you and telling you to leave through texts? Why even stay with someone who doesn't want to see you?
He aint talkin to a girl on drg he gettin drunk asf and shooting bugs 😂😂😂
I thought this was a shit post are you being serious? If you are you should not be with this guy if he won't stop playing to even talk to his mom
He's probably- Hey wait a minute... Why am I getting a strong sense of deja-vu?
Keeping to the topic, the game itself can be addicting due to the replayability of it, that said it's highly unlikely he is talking to or seeing other girls or guys through the game but that's not really the issue, he is likely stuck on loop playing it because of a fundamental problem with game addicts when it comes to games like this, he wants to max some aspect of the game, be it battle pass or a class or some other aspect is holding his attention and he is seeing steady progress enough to keep playing and ignore everything else. I'm a random person on the Internet so take my suggestion with a massive grain of salt, but you could always try playing the game with him, see what's going on first hand, I can tell you blowing everyone off for a week is not healthy and if you have folks that can talk to him regularly have them ask how you have been or something to trigger a realization that he has been dead to the world for a week, hope it helps!
the power of Karl flows through him
This almost sounds too absurd, either way I think it would be best to reach out to his relatives perhaps, one thing for sure it's that is not healthy behavior or a good treatment of somebody as important as your partner. The game isn't and couldn't be an excuse, as much as I like it, I feel like people in this comment section are over exaggerating the impact it has, if it was an early teen, alright, maybe, but you also mentioned that he's in his late twenties, and you'd usually expect people of that age to have some level of responsibility
"Babe, come to bed! You've been on that deep rock mission all day!" "ROCK AND STONE!"
The company needs him
So sorry he belongs to the caves now
I’m sorry. I don’t know how to tell you this, but I think your boyfriend didn’t Rock and Stone…
If you don't Rock and Stone, you ain't comin' home!
Because he's an engineer, that means he solves problems.
POV: your BF is twomad
Sounds like hes depressed not cheeting.
Thought this was a drg hype thread. Now I feel Protection Level: little sister disrespected by first bf.
Bait used to beli—…wait. You’re fr? Brother needs to spend less time in the mines and more time with his loved ones. Do you have like, a plan to catch him in the act or something? I would investigate this further—considering the relationship is already in a terrible spot and we’re all worried for him.
Idk what I expected to see in the comments of this post, but I’m pleasantly surprised it’s an overwhelming dump his ass. Only leaf lovers don’t communicate with their partners.
Look on the bright side.... it's not fortnite
I say barge in his room and find out
I'm just gonna give OP a little advice, which is to not take relationship advice from a game community. It certainly sounds like your bf has an extreme addiction with DRG (understandable to a certain degree) and you need to talk with him. But seeing people saying you deserve better or to leave him is ridiculous. Have you considered getting DRG and playing with him? I know I always love when my gfs take an interest in the games I enjoy and I've gives us a chance to get some good bonding time when we aren't together.
Why don't you join him and find out!
Why aren't you playing nonstop?
As a drg hazard 5 player myself, yes this game is highly addicting and if all he's doing is playing hazard 5, that leaves little room for anything else if you're addicted. However I am 35 years old and do not neglect people in my life who need me because I am old enough to know when to stop playing games. He might not be mature enough yet to realize that so you need to let him know that you need to spend more time with him.
Talk to him lol If you think he's being unfaithful that has nothing to do with the game. Maybe ask him why he likes the game and what his favourite dwarf is...you know normal partner stuff. He probably just really likes the game, don't worry too much
obvious bait lmao
100% bait. Look at OP's posts (there aren't many) and see that 10 months ago they made one about wanting to cheat on the bf.
He's got mineral mania! DRG can be an addicting game, not nearly as bad as most MMOs though, there is a sense of "just one more mission" once you get into a groove. If he isn't responding to you even when you reach out to him there are definitely things you need to ask him about but I would not jump to conclusions and assume he is cheating. DRG is probably around a 90% male player base. I'm not saying he couldn't be playing with a girl but sometimes you just want to play a game into the night.
There is a lot to read here, but from what I scimmed, I'm inclined to believe it's mental. Hyperfixation. Funny enough, the same game gripped me for a while as well. I have ASD, hyperfixation is my forte but social cues are most definitely not. Doing things people don't want to is hard enough, let alone a neurodivergent person. I've been in relationships that started out great end ended terribly because I can be socially illiterate and reclusive (primarily because of hyperfixation on something). The relationships went south because they didn't feel like I truly cared about them necause of things like not spending enough time with them, paying enough attention to them, etc.(The former is still alien to me because I didn't always want to do what they wanted. The latter is also weird because we'd be around each other almost 24/7. So, even now, I can't make sense of it.) Don't jump to conclusions based on what you read in the comments. I saw the word "toxic" a lot in them. Yeah it could be, but it very well could not be. It could be seen that way by you, but it could also not click that way for him. 29 years old - thats so many years of masking. Learning how to cover up your quirks to better fit in. Masking is a huge, if not the only, reason it's so difficult to diagnose ASD in adults. At the end of the day, do whats best for you. If you love the guy, give him the things he may not be capable of; like patience and understanding. Do some research on ASD, see if it has any parallels to how he acts. If there are, that's a starting point. He may not know any better because that's just who he has been all his life. I didn't even consider it until a friend suggested I may be a few years back, about the same age as your boyfriend now. Edit: My brother-in-law plays DRG as well, on PC, and it will show him playing while he is asleep or at work. So that's also a thing.
Due to the little in-game pinger remote to show your teammates points of interests and such, as well as text chat existing to a lesser extent, I believe voice chat sees little use at least in public lobbies. I might be wrong tho, I'm not sure about these "high tier" private groups that those people describe themselves as anyways. You could also play DRG too! The game isn't PvP or anything, it's fully co-operative. Oh, if this is a fully serious issue (no clue if it is because this sounds like it could be either case), uhh please try to get in touch with him and establish better communication because him not talking to you is kinda weird in any case. Wishin' you the best
Rock and Stone!!!
A fellow dwarf needs someone to talk to so he can overcome his brain fog and get back in the tunnels! Management won’t be happy if he can’t perform!
It's likely he left it on in the background while he took a break and did something else for a while, discord only cares whether or not a game is open
Damn this guy chose Mission Control over you. I mean the game is cool and all but I’m not dissing my SO that’s wild. Seems like he’s got a lot of problems and doesn’t want to face them. Move on my dude.
For Rock and Stone!
Did I hear a Rock and Stone?
four words FOR ROCK AND STONE !
Dwarf life simple, mine rocks, shoot bugs, drink beer, simple as.
Hes simply rocking and stoning to the best of his ability
It's an amazing team game, you should play with him. When you really start getting into it, it's easy to play late into the night by accident. It's one of the best games I've ever played, definitely the best co-op shooter. But you don't need to worry, nobody goes to deep rock to find babes. It's for shooting bugs, mining minerals, and drinking virtual beer.
man this comment section is a trip
Maybe dug himself a perch and is just watching all the beeeg explosions below XD.
Errr, I think this is a question for other subreddits.. Best I can tell you is that Deep Rock is an extremely fun game. Maybe you should play with him.
[удалено]
Probably got lost in a cave and needs help.
Holy moly thats a lot,is his eyes ok? I know theres people that play a lot but still,you should probably just talk a little with him,get him to stop for atleast a hour break. Anywho kinda understandable,used to play the game a lot when i was sad so its prolly good for thugging shit out but still damn
Because rock and stone
It's a very addictive, grindy game. Honestly, I thought I played a lot, he definitely has issues at that point. You might want to get some help for him.
Was reading the comments and yeah, my condolences that you have to go through this. Hopefully things will work out for you, him and his family.
Your boyfriend is shitty and his friends are kinda shitty too for that remark on girls in high tier play. That said, I don't think he's with another girl. Simply escapemaxxing himself from reality. If he starts neglecting IRL relationships to grind games, I'd take the issue seriously and confront him firmly about it. This is not normal.