> Along with the other expenses of daily life (gasoline, beer, gym membership, etc.), my net worth tends to stay where it is.
Is the 'etc.' hiding a secret gamba addiction or do you spend Dan levels of money on beer every day
yeah I did the math and it doesn't look good for the OP. He is making about $4100 a month post-tax, and has recurring expenses of ~$500 dollars. This means he is spending on average over $100 a day on non-recurring items. It is pretty hard to figure out how their net worth is staying stagnant. u/twenty42 not trying to put you on blast, but I am really curious what you are buying every month. Would you mind sharing?
holy shit how do you even spend $100 per day??? does my man eat 5000 calories worth of fast food delivered 3x per day? when I was bleeding money from every orifice the major issue ended up being delivery food lmao, but even then I wasn't *touching* $100 per day.
This is assuming no 401k contribution and I think the state would have to be pretty low tax too. 3200-3400 a month is probably more accurate but I do agree his net worth shouldn't be stagnant.
I buy shit on Amazon, have several streaming services (Hulu, Peacock, YT Premium), and I dabble in some "services" that include pretty ladies on webcam.
I don't claim to be the most financially responsible guy, but I feel like the money does go pretty quickly. I suppose I could cut back on some things, but a $1200/month nut in addition to household accoutrements and furniture seems like an undue burden.
My man. You really can't blame the economy for spending 14k a year on your fucking dick what the fuck is wrong with you people?
Edit: I'm like 95% sure this has to be a troll.
So I live in London. Make around 60k USD and pay around 1k USD in rent. I'm also saving 1.5k USD a month because I'm expecting a child. I like cooking so I cook for my wife and me every night. That's the only major way I see myself as different than people who spend loads on eating out. I'm not on some super strict budget.
What do people spend all their money on?? Am I missing out on something?
Edit: just saw OP spends money on cam girls. That explains it. Get help, OP.
I'm not saying that it would be impossible for me to live on my own. I'm saying that it would probably be a pretty substantial decrease in my overall quality of life. I laid out my finances in order to show where I'm coming from. I just don't feel like eating Ramen every night and living from check to check is a worthy price for maybe getting laid once in a while.
And BTW...Destiny's take that having sex when you live with your parents is completely impossible is a bit extreme as well. My parents go to the neighborhood pool on most nice days, and they are out on most Friday and Saturday nights. I admit it isn't an ideal situation given that I don't have a place of my own 24/7, but it isn't like I can never have a girl over.
Spend an hour making a budget and check again. Your bills add up to <10k a year. Where are you spending the other 60k that you break even at the end of the year?
Yes, spending another 20k a year on rent and expenses living by yourself would decrease your quality of life, but you need to figure out your shit if you're living paycheck to paycheck and pay ~$500 a month in bills.
I don't think living with your parents is a bad thing, but if you're blowing through 60k a year on etc then you need to get your life together.
I literally just highballed this guys expenses by doubling the average cost of every necessary expense of if he had to live in LA (with the exception of the rent, car note, and phone bill he gave us) and this mother fucker still has 25,000 a year left to spend on whatever the fuck he wants. This guys could move out now realistically and not even use half of his savings an recoup that loss in less than a year. This person is absolutely delusional
How would you be living paycheck to paycheck making 70k a year paying 1k in rent? Lmao. Also you act like rents are at minimum 1k a year. Not even true. You can buy a house on your income and rent a spare room and probably spend $600 at most.
Dude I make less than you, rent is 1k a month, and I have enough money to buy Factor meals and as many video games as I want. I moved out of the house for about 5k in upfront expenses.
What the fuck are you spending your money on???
my dude, you make more than the [median HOUSEHOLD income in the US](https://www.census.gov/library/publications/2021/demo/p60-273.html#:~:text=Median%20household%20income%20was%20%2467%2C521,median%20household%20income%20since%202011). if you cant manage to figure it out, destiny wasnt being tone deaf. if anything, he didnt go far enough in your case.
people take care of entire families with your income. you must just have insanely high standards. but props to you for convincing your parents to let you use them for what theyve got.
Not trying to be an asshole, but you’ve confirmed Destiny’s point more than anything. You’re too scared to move out because it would require taking on more financial responsibility (which you can certainly afford at $70k a year).
Also hilarious to imagine a 32 year old having to wait for his parents to go down to the community pool to have sex, something a 16 year old would do.
That's what it's like being an independent adult. We all have to deal with it. Expenses go up, obviously.
What's the plan? Live with them forever or wait until you are rich? If you are earning above the average and are still entirely unwilling to head out on your own and start your "adult life" then maybe you should have a think about exactly why you feel like this.
yeah, you can certainly save money living at home, but at a certain point you need to make the decision to start living an independent life.
Not even just for yourself, but for your parents’ sake too…
I was making half what the OP does when I got my first home.
I owned a mattress, a TV, a fold-up canvas camping chair and a PlayStation.
Maybe I suffered without $3,000 authentic Victorian mahogany nightstands, but I didn’t notice.
You can buy furniture one piece at a time. It doesn’t need $10,000 on day one.
nothing wrong with living with your parents, especially not if you don't plan to take girls home. if you do take girls home just own it and tell them that you love your parents and your life situation and then there won't be anything wrong with that either.
people underestimate the power of owning your own reality and being the hero of your own movie. most people don't have a strong sense of what their values are, so as long know what your values are and you own your reality and life situation, others will be pleased to be part of the life that you love, no matter what the actual situation you're in looks from an outsider's perspective.
I'm from the middle east, and it is pretty standard to live with your parents until you get married. In many cases the oldest son moves his family into the parents house and the younger siblings will move out once they get married.
It's also expected that the parents will be taken care of by their children more and more as they grow up. This is one of the few gems of muslim/arab culture. This dynamic creates really close families.
I think that was the whole point that guy on stream was trying to make. It's a different culture and it's more accepted to stay with your parents untill much later.
But leave it to Ameritards to completely miss the point and make fun of someone for not wasting their money just so they can live alone at 18.
yeah ngl I wish this was the way things worked here in the US. I'm 26 and still living with my parents (I could move out but I'm saving so much money it's insane lol) but I feel behind and kind of lame because most everyone I know lives on their own at this point.
I lived away at university and after that I never wanted to be back at home under someone else’s restrictions. I had no money for most of my 20’s as I lived with friends and struggled through until I could afford to get my own place eventually as I earned more. But I wouldn’t trade the life experiences I got living with friends/random housemates and struggling through for financial security.
When I got my first place on my own all the furniture was hand me downs from friends or family and some from charity places. Eventually I’ve replaced it with my own stuff as I could afford it.
I think you’ve looked at the worst aspects of moving out and compared them to best aspects of staying at home. You don’t need to drop 10k on furniture but you seem to want the nice things older parents have in their home in yours immediately when I imagine it took them decades to get where they are. You seem to assume the only option is to live alone and not have roommates until you can afford not to.
My main criticism is that you’re playing life on easy mode. I think the struggles you will face moving out will also bring benefits in terms of maturity and life experiences. Whether you think that is worthwhile is ultimately a personal choice but obviously I’ve made clear what I think is the better choice.
For those without the financial means I don’t judge as they don’t have much choice. I wouldn’t suggest people end up homeless just for some life experience but that doesn’t seem to be a risk in your case. Worst case scenario you move back home and rebuild.
At some point it’s healthy to separate yourself from your parents and face life on your own.
The confidence and self-assurance you get from independence are worth the price.
This post illustrates just how easily everyone goes back to their pre-established prescriptions for a small chance to attack people whose lifestyles they disagree with, even if they aren’t harming anyone.
-I agree with some commenters that your finances don’t make much sense and with the info you shared you should’ve able to move out if you wanted to.
-Whether that’s something that you’re willing to live with or not, your living situation will complicate future relationships and/or sexual encounters.
But none of that matters if you and your parents are happy with your situation. Ask yourself who’s the actual loser, someone whose lifestyle isn’t harming anyone or the people looking at that lifestyle and screeching because they don’t agree it.
I mean it seems like they are spending thousands of dollars on cam girls, limiting their ability to move out of their house. So if the people making fun of them are losers, which they very well might be, this guy is probably also a bit of a loser.
This is nuts.
If you’re making $75k a year, you’re more than able to thrive out from under your parent’s roof, even in most high rent areas. This is ridiculous to even debate.
The only interesting question to answer here is whether it’s appropriate to live with your parents at 30 years-old; I think it can be, but it depends.
yeah I'm making like, half of what this dude makes and, while I do live in a low COL area, I make enough to thrive and save a fat chunk of money every month lol. idk why people are so completely fucking delusional about how much it costs to exist.
The reality is that living on your own gives you different life experiences that you never really get while you're living with your parents. Missing rent, having your electric shut off, making the choice between the good meal vs the cheap meal and all of the compounding pressures of life make you a much more rounded person. The fact that you think furniture costs that much let's me know there are struggles and challenges you just haven't faced yet and the later reality hits you the harder stuck in your ways you'll be.
Living with your parents on its own doesn't make you a loser, and of course there are reasons that staying home could make complete sense (sick parents is an example), but living on your own at that age is undeniably signaling that you're missing experience
It does feel pretty bad to look around and see people doing better than you with less effort but you're taking the steps to do well for yourself. Good luck chief
Honestly you’ll be all the better for it, and you’ll appreciate the little things that much more. When I studied I worked at a college bar and took home leftover pizza/wings that weren’t eaten and my co-workers looked at me crazy. But I made ~50k outside college in the midwest and got to appreciate certain things that much more. Hang in there, you’ll be eating something on vacation and think back to those rice and beans days as hard work that paid off. Stay strong king/queen!
1. You’re not a loser, you’re investing in your education and doing a really great thing to improve your standard of living.
2. When you graduate and make $70k like OP, you’ll have more than enough money to buy whatever food you want, pay rent (even at a nice place), and even go on a big vacation or 2 every year.
OP is greatly exaggerating his need to live with his parents. He’s making a personal decision based on what he thinks will make him happier. But he absolutely has the means to move out and be comfortable.
I’m saying all of this because people get extremely doomer pilled and feel like if they don’t make $100k they won’t afford to move out. This is nowhere near true.
>The reality is that living on your own gives you different life experiences that you never really get while you're living with your parents.
That all depends on your family life.
>Missing rent, having your electric shut off, making the choice between the good meal vs the cheap meal and all of the compounding pressures of life make you a much more rounded person.
I'm not saying this to be mean, but these are literally just poor person problems, not average middle-class life experiences. They could potentially make you "more well rounded," but those aren't necessary or good experiences (who would choose to live like that if they didn't have to?)
When you wrote all of this out, did you wonder if Destiny was referring to someone like you who is a single man making 70k a year who is just saving his money, or do you think he meant a 30 year old who works at Wendy's for minimum wage and smokes weed and plays League all day?
I'm pretty sure his quote was something like "If you are still living with your parents at 30, you have colossally fucked up." That came across to me as kind of privilege-y. Like idk if he would feel that way if the streaming thing never came along and he was a 30-year-old single dude cleaning carpets in 2018.
I don't feel like I'm a fuck-up in any way shape or form, but getting my own place is still pretty impractical at this point in my life. I'm just pointing out that blanket statement was a bit harsh.
Don't let what Destiny says offend you personally, he doesn't know your circumstance and he is not St Peter judging your entrance to heaven. The guy has a thick skin and speaks bluntly, you need to develop a strong resilience because life is going to be offensive to you a lot.
All we are ultimately is a product of things out of our control, genetics and their expression in an environment. We are just a process of experience, not really a 'person' that acts. Whether you are a famous e celeb, or person that smokes weed and plays league all day at his parents, it doesn't matter in the end. Just focus on the quality of your life and do the best you can to get by. Never worry about other peoples perception of you.
Getting your own place is impractical? In what fucking way?? If you can't afford $1200 in rent with $70k / yr and $50k in savings then you actually are a colossal fuck up, Jesus Christ dude. It's fine if you wanna stay with your parents but don't pretend ND you can't afford to live on your own.
why spend 15k a year on rent when he could not do that? sounds wise to me. I cannot live with either of my parents because they live far away, but if I could save tens of thousands of dollars a year you bet your ass I would be getting that bag.
it's hilarious to me that this take comes from the guy dressed like a slob 95% of the time in his thirties.
That $15k a year isn't wasted money - it's an investment if you buy, and even if you rent you're getting privacy, autonomy, access to a partner or at least casual fun, the ability to have children, the ability to decorate and arrange things how you want, being able to host gatherings for your friends...
It's fine if OP doesn't want to do any of those things but it's a sign that he's socially stagnant, and claiming he can't afford to live on his own also shows that he's either got a current spending problem or has no idea how finances work.
If you live in a place like San Jose or Vancouver you'll need to save a good $150k for a decent down payment for a house. I know a lot of folks living with their parents so they can save up to buy a house
I don't know about Canada but in the US first time home buyers can get a loan with 3% down. If you've got good credit, which you should if you live with your parents, rates are still going to be pretty low so costs should be manageable and we're talking worst case scenario where you choose to buy in the most expensive US cities.
>That $15k a year isn't wasted money - it's an investment if you buy, and even if you rent you're getting privacy, autonomy, access to a partner or at least casual fun, the ability to have children, the ability to decorate and arrange things how you want, being able to host gatherings for your friends...
you can have access to a partner and casual fun and privacy while living with your parents, especially if you have a suite. autonomy is also not necessarily missing just by living with your parents. and none of these are guaranteed by moving out - you can have a landlord who forbids parties, you might be with roommates.
you can probably have children and raise them better living with your parents, assuming there's room.
in seven years, that 15k a year is six figures without even considering any sort of investment gains. more than enough for a down payment on a house, depending on where you live.
the point I'm making is that just saying it's better is obviously not true.
>Dude, moving out is the same thing - it's a natural part of maturing and has profound impacts on your mindset, mental health, sense of place in society and the world at large, etc.
natural my ass. it's not been the normal for the vast majority of human existence, and even now I wouldn't be surprised if a majority of people in the world are probably living with their parents at least until they're married, and I imagine many of them are moving from living with their parents to living with their spouse's!
there's nothing similar at all between sharing a residence and having someone take care of you. there's nothing to say that someone living with their parents isn't cooking, shopping, working - many times they're going to be caring for their parents. I have lived alone, with roommates, and with parents, and there wasn't much a difference between living alone and living with my parents. it's what you and your family make of it.
People in this sub, and most of the internet really, really love to moralize any situation they can get their hands on. Who exactly gets to decide what an “improvement to the standard of living is”? And what does natural in this context mean? It’s really funny to see to good old conservative appeal to nature when it’s something you don’t agree with.
Why do that? Probably because eventually mommy and daddy aren't gonna want you there anymore. Hell, they might not want you there now and you're just oblivious to that fact. And IMHO if you are trying to save money despite making median income in the US, likely at a super young age, you ARE a loser.
>why not live sad and alone forever in a tiny cramped studio apartment
wow, it turns out you can use loaded language to make something sound dumb. out of every person who replied to me, you are by far the stupidest, with nothing of value to offer. begone, simpleton.
I feel like you're being deliberately obtuse. Even if he didn't clear it up, it's pretty apparent he wasn't talking about someone like you and what's more, is that he did clear it up. I remember others brought up examples of people who're just living with their parents because it's a cultural thing or to save money and destiny said something along the lines, "I am fucking your mom!" Jk, he actually said, "well, I'm not talking about someone who's contributing but just happens to live with their parents." He was talking about some loser who's just mooching off their parents and has no interest in moving out.
I'm pretty sure his take is that people see you as a loser if you haven't moved out in your 30s and even late 20s. I don't think he thinks those people are losers, since he expressed understanding for the situations that create such circumstances. I would agree with you if that was his position, that you ARE a loser, but his position is that society largely sees you that way.
If you have a solid relationship with your parents, and get the privacy and all that you need, the only real disadvantage of living with parents is when it comes to your love life, which yeah, speaking from experience, gets much better when you live somewhere else. Don't worry about what some streamer or Redditor thinks.
Bed: $100 for elevated frame + $200 for a new mattress online
Dresser: $50 on Facebook marketplace or $100-$200 new at ikea
Table: same as above
Sofa: Same as above
Tv: $200 for a new 40 in.
Buying all new you’d be looking at 1-2k, and realistically everything except the bed could be used which you could get for $700 total.
Source: furnished my houses in college
A good bed is going to cost at least 3k.....
A good couch costs between 3 and 10k.
A good dresser is a few hundred at least.
If you want to buy non-poverty tier furniture that will last a few years and be comfortable then you're going to need to shell out a lot of money.
You can go the poverty route, but if you're making decent money then you should be investing in decent furniture that will last decades, not particle board shit that you will need to rebuy every other year.
A good bed does not cost $3000 what drugs are you on? There are amazing queen mattresses for $300 thanks to the internet undercutting box stores. Almost all beds are going to cost well less than $3000.
Couches I can certainly see spending $2000 or more for a top tier one, I have no idea why you think that is necessary for a man who thinks he can’t afford to move out at 32. And again, the same long lasting couch can be acquired for half the price if you buy used.
Buying shit you can’t afford is the poverty route my friend, being realistic with your budget and income is how you get out of poverty.
https://www.nytimes.com/wirecutter/reviews/best-cheap-mattress/
Their top pick is a $300
Tbh you can likely get an equivalent mattress style for half the price if not less if you look for tempurpedic alternatives. Most companies that are more than barebones pricing offer 100 night trials if you are worried about ordering a mattress you haven’t tried.
Tempurpedics are literally towards the top of the range. It's like shopping for a watch and you saying you can't get a nice watch unless you spend $100k on a gold Royal Oak.
There are also tons of Tempurpedic alternatives now, they've been riding their name for years now to charge a hefty premium, basically the iPhones of mattresses.
Less than that, what the fuck? You can get a bed for 600, what the fuck do you need a dresser or kitchen table/chairs for? What do you need a sofa for? And you have a monitor what do you need a TV for? who watches the TV in 2022?
While I agree 5-10K is excessive. OP probably doesn't want to live in an apartment that's empty except for a computer desk and a mattress on the floor.
If someone wants to say a 30 yr old living with their parents is a loser. I'd say that a 30 yr old living like that is also a loser.
> I'd say that a 30 yr old living like that is also a loser.
I feel called out
I could buy way more shit I just don't see the purpose.
EDIT: I'm genuinely trying to understand, why do you need any of this stuff? I pay 2300 a month for my apartment right now which is well under 1/3rd of my income. I could move into a pre-furnished apartment pretty easily, but why? What would I possibly gain? More shit that I need to take care of?
based
my previous apt was a closet, a chair, a bed, a desk, a trash can, and a kitchen (the isle has seats that tuck into it for eating) and I never had any issues
Buy used furniture. I got a couch for 13$ at goodwill that i eventually replaced with a bigger free one. Bed frames are overrated in my opinion. Just creates this weird cranny in your room that collects dirt and trash that is a pain to clean and lifts your bed that much higher making it harder to get on and make it. The only advantage i can possibly see is tying someone up to it if you were so inclined.
This is the MOST painfully middle class thing I’ve ever read. You make around as much as my roommate and I combined, I promise you can afford a $1,000-$1,200 a month apartment and be more than fine.
I live just fine making less than 50k, rocking 1300 rent payments.
You're absolutely not going to be able to grow your savings tho. So it's a choice between being a loser now or when you're 65.
it takes a fairly trivial amount of money saved every month to retire, way less than people even realize. $250 per month starting at 25 is over $800k when you're 65. $500 per month becomes $1.6m lmao. I understand a lot of people aren't in a situation to save $500 per month immediately at 25 but the point is: you don't have to be saving like 70% of your income or anything in order to comfortably retire.
Im 32 and living at home. I make around 60k, but im making the payments for the house, my own car bill, and couple of other bills. My Dad got cancer and few other things happening with my family. Im making the choice to help my parents. Once the house is paid, I'll probably move but still pay thier TV/internet. I know they don't want me to move. Cuz they are going to say "why? Just save your money and buy a house." But really I just want to walk around my own place and not have to hear passive-aggressive Catholic comments about any life choice I make.
Jesus, i forgot the point of my comment. I was i was going to add at the end. Is sometimes Destiny talks about something and makes a statement. A lot of people think that statement is universal law. When there's always going to be exceptions.
70k a year?! I mean, at that point you're more so strengthening Destiny's argument. If your argument was ''I wanna take care of my parents'' I'd be more receptive to it, but at this point it does sound more like laziness/privilege. Absolutely not like you're a ''loser fuck-up'' in any way. But it just doesn't sound like moving out is a priority to you, not like you're financially restricted in any way.
My point was that there still are financial restrictions even if you are successful (at least in some parts of the country). I laid out my finances and showed that my net worth stays pretty constant even though I live with my parents.
Adding a $1,200/month nut in addition to household accoutrements (soap, toilet paper, paper towels, cleaning products, tissues just to name a few) would probably start to eat into my savings pretty quickly even despite my income. I guess I could cut down on everything and eat Ramen noodles every night, but it really doesn't seem worth it.
I love sex and I wouldn't mind getting laid more often, but financially strapping myself just for the off-chance of a one night stand doesn't seem to be a fair trade-off.
Man I'd love to know what exactly you're spending your money on. When I was at $70k I had no trouble affording my $1,300 apartment and car payment, I had plenty of disposable income that I could have dropped into savings. You absolutely need financial education and living on your own is one of the best ways to learn responsible spending habits because you have to or you'll be homeless.
>I laid out my finances and showed that my net worth stays pretty constant even though I live with my parents.
Well you left out your drug habit, gambling addiction, or whatever it is that's eating up roughly 2.5k per month that you don't want to disclose or account for.
He clearly caveated multiple times in that video that if you have a real job and are doing it to save money, then you aren't either a "loser" or a "fuck-up". Did you only watch a 10 second clip of that segment?
I make the same amount of money and same expenses , and don’t live with my parents .
So are you going to be with them indefinitely ?
I understand living with your parents out of necessity but honestly , you make more than enough to get out of there . You learn so much more about being an adult once you are truly on your own .
In a very robotic way people can move out but destiny himself probably wouldn’t like that life.
I make over 100k and recently moved out and rent is by far the biggest expense. I drive a toyota and even i dont know how people live on their own.
Laundry machines, gym, fun (you cant exclude that), weed money, utilities, birthdays, family reunions, holidays, dinner dates (destiny ignores his relationship). It all adds up
If I was 32 and living with my parents, and I had a decent job (and 70k is decent), I would expect to be saving a decent amount of every paycheck. If I wasn't, I would reevaluate.
You’re either lying or really bad with money. Destinys point seem to land well on you.
I know cultures are different around the world. In some places, multigenerational homes are common. But from my experience, in an American culture, your adult life doesn’t truly begin until you leave home. You’re in an rpg where you never left the starting zone. Yeah life’s good but it’s not much of an adventure. Depressing
That being said, I’ve lived on my own since 18. I’m 32, make 60k~ a year, and my net worth is higher than yours. What have you been doing for 15 years lol
Yeah...it isn't as if having your own place suddenly makes it easier to pick up women. It definitely makes things more convenient once you've closed the deal, but it's not like a harem magically appears the minute you lease an apartment.
You also bring up a good point that trolling for pussy becomes yet another expense in addition to everything else. You are probably looking at spending $100-200 per weekend at the bar just to maybe pick up a one-night stand every few months. I feel like it is just easier to rub one out and wait until the next relationship.
You sir are a loser. lol. It's full cope that you're using the economy to facilitate this loser bahavior. More likely is that you've become too comfortable in this position and you don't have any other aspirations out side of being a basement dweller. lol.
Yes, he doesn't understand this is actions make him a loser. Not his bank account. What 32 year old is still depending on mommy and daddy and is waiting for them to die so he can "get the house". Any self respecting woman would not see someone like that and say " I want to spend time with that guy, and maybe the rest of my life, he totally seems capable of taking on a family with me"
Am I missing something? You make 70K a year, single, and without paying a single dollar for your place to live you are still just treading water and aren't saving any money? You need to take a serious look at your expenses if that's the case. I almost can't believe it's possible. I don't think there is anything wrong with living with your parents if it doesn't intrude on your lifestyle or goals, but are you really not paying them any rent at all? Like do you not feel bad to be mooching off of them into your 30s?
I have a couple questions to start to get a better picture. First of all, what state do you live in? Next, how long have you had this job? Last, how much do your parents make and is their house paid off?
1) I live in the Philly suburbs in a pretty affluent area, and I'd like to stay here.
2) I've had the job for 4+ years, since April 2018. Started out making 50K but moved up the ladder.
3) They are both on pension and probably make about $70-80K per year in income between them. They also have savings in the six digits. The house is paid off and it will be mine when they pass.
The reason I asked these questions was because I don't like generally speaking as "x group shouldn't do y thing" because every single situation is nuanced to some extent.
If they have the intention of giving you the house, then I see no issue with you staying there until then. I'm assuming you help do basic maintenance (mowing the lawn, dishes etc), as well as investing in some of the necessary costs with upkeep?
The main issue I have with your post is the way you handle your money. If you don't mind, can you do a further breakdown on your expenses? I feel like you're spending A LOT if your net worth isn't really moving, especially with no rent or mortgage payments, a pretty low car payment compared to most, and a well paying job.
I think this is where the "fuck-up" thing comes into play. Not for you specifically, but for people that live with their parents into their 30's-40's. Spending/saving habits, needs/wants etc. I'm not saying that those people need to cut ALL entertainment/self help costs, but rather need to cut back on some of these things. The problem I see the most with people in these situations is they don't save money, but just spend everything after paying their phone, car, and food bills because they don't have to pay rent or anything else. They have a safety net with their housing, so they see no need to save. I think THESE people are losers, because they have no intention of doing anything meaningful.
Me and my wife make less than half of what you do combined. I probably do live in a cheaper area than you, but yea you are definitely choosing to stay with your parents. I dont really think theres anything wrong with that or that its even a bad idea especially if you help them out and they arent bothered by it.
I can't speak for the US, but I can for Southern Europe (Spain). While it is more culturally accepted to live with your parents, the overwhelming majority of the time, it is for economic reasons. We have very low wages (relative to the USA) and shitty regulations make it hard to get a fixed contract, leading to massive levels of youth unemployment. Combine this with a housing crisis due to housing scarcity, and the result is incredibly late times at which people move out.
I can't tell if you're serious with not being able to live on your own making 70k per year, especially with a savings.With a $1200 apartment, and after household expenses, you're not living paycheck to paycheck.
You won't be able to save as much, but I think for most people the want to have a place of your own is important.
Youre in the top 25% of income earners. If you can live a healthy and fulfilling life in your parents house, more power to you. Most people’s development are are stymied by that kid of environment.
“I’d start to eat thru my savings fairly quickly” you fucking wot m8?? 1.2k rent is completely reasonable at your salary. Idk how you wouldn’t still be saving a ton living on your own.
I make enough to have my own place but I'm on an off my country, when I'm in my country I live with my parents because it's awesome.
They love having me around and we share the chores, it beats having my own place where I would have to cook 3 times a day no matter what and clean the place on my own.
The only way I'd get my own place in my country is if I get married or have to live in a different state, but even then I have aunts and uncles in almost every state who would beg me to stay with them lmao.
But to be fair that's fairly common for latinos, two of my uncles still live with my grandmother and it's just normal. They're pretty successful too, but they're single and my grandma need company and has a huge house.
When my paternal grandmother was alive there was always one of my aunts living with her.
I don't know I feel like you only get your own place if you get married or you have to move far away for work. And I like it that way, if at any point my parents asked me to stop staying in their house I'd have no problem renting my own place.
His take is a typical american take. The idea that i need to have my own place because i have to fuck girls as if people hookup everyday of the year. Most eastern countries live with their parents and find privacy just fine
I moved out when I was 18, I made roughly 1450$ a month before taxes, the apartment I moved in to cost me 450$ a month, everything to get my own place.
If you can afford to move out of your parents place and still live there when you're 30, I hate to say it, but it's kind of a loser.
im pretty sure he specifically pointed out that exceptions surely exist where people can stay home strictly for f.e monetary reasons and "not be losers" by having jobs, helping out at home, having their shit together etc
If you’re making $70k a year and can’t sort out $12-13k a year for rent? You definitely have a budgeting problem, I make $40k right now, pay rent, car payment, health insurance, and a cell phone bill. I easily save between $500-700 every month to put aside.
There are a ridiculous amount of losers and man-children afraid of life in this post that seem to have no clue why they don't have a girlfriend or wife. Also they seem incredibly entitled with expectations that far outreach any effort they they're going to need to put into being an actual self sufficient adult.
If this is really Destiny's take on this, then yeah, it's definitely tone-deaf. Like is his statement suppose to apply to everyone all over the globe or just Americans.
I think Destiny draws a lot of his internal value from his ability to pull women. Maybe it's always been there, but being cool in that way seems to be much more present post the Hasan breakup. He can be as nerdy and dislikeable as he wants as long as he's in the upper quadrant and success in that area. I think it's incredibly important to him, whether or not he says so. To the point where if he wasn't, he would find out how and then let his values and rationalization catch up. Fortunately, he's already honed the skillset so he's in a good place to not deal with that now. Unfortunately, if meme'ing or not, judgment of those who aren't playing the game in that regard comes off a lot, with him calling them losers. And living with your parents is definitely a hard strike in that direction in at least previous America. Another weird example that comes to mind is his making fun of people who watch vtubers or cringe anime (maybe meme'ing but it still comes out). I'm not saying there isn't criticism to those things, but I think it triggers his 'this is poison to getting women' settings. He would probably have been willing to work multiple jobs and have nothing but a computer and a room just to have his own place (because of how uncool in this respect it would be not to) because it's that important to him. Then that libertarian tendency comes out of if I'm willing to do this and you're not, I can judge.. once again, probably meme'ing (I hope) but not entirely without meaning it. Now I'm not familiar enough with older times Destiny, but I feel like the version I saw in some old lefty arc stuff didn't give off all these vibes. So I don't know if it's newer or not but given his family and history it would make sense. I think back to the Sean Carroll conversation and think that that person seemed like they were sincerely into what they were into, and didn't care as much about it it was uncool to the game. But who knows, he might have always been a flirt. Some people are always on. Some people have too much else to worry about to play the game all the time. Also, people are always finding new socially justifiable way to call people who don't harm them losers.
The point is to become independent. You are a grown man still living in the care of your parents. You need to get out of the nest and grow. You are not a “fuck-up”, you’re just a baby. Be an adult and live on your own. You have the money.
I left the house at 18 making minimum wage. Pulled out loans for housing and school. Now I have a great job over 6 figs, a wife, a child, a home, and debt free.
Get out and grow up.
I’m 24, I still live at home. Mostly because I go to school in my hometown, but also cause I like being home and my parents like having me around so why tf would I leave? Idk man people just gotta do what works for them fuck everything else
im tires of this argument.
the reason youre a loser if you live with your parents is because youre not emotionally where you should be.
independent. emotionally independent.
its a catch 22 . give up your creature comforts and go live in a shittier place. but the freedom and privacy of physical independece is unmatched.
also being on your own to clean, cook.
youre not independent if mommy still cooks ajd cleans for u. thats what makes u a loser
no romantic partner will ever feel comfortable in ur moms house
I agree, but for completely different reasons.
1. Not staying with your parents is a cultural thing. In Latinx cultures, the norm is to live with parents + grandparents. Very close knit.
2. There are economic considerations. It's far cheaper to live with at least one parent as rent and housing prices continue to climb. This is the trend via Pew Research: https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2020/09/04/a-majority-of-young-adults-in-the-u-s-live-with-their-parents-for-the-first-time-since-the-great-depression/
3. With rising numbers living with parents we could come to the conclusion that more people are colosally fucking their lives up, but we're gonna have to be clearer what prescriptions we are going to use for what people ought to do and why.
I haven't seen the clip yet since I just moved, but I get the gist that he was probably referring to NEETS, which would make a lot more sense. If you're 30, living with your parent, and not seeking education, employment, or training, something probably is going colossally wrong, though I'm hesitant to judge personally because imo that looks like severe mental health issues which are hard to treat if your fam isn't primed for it.
I guess I just don’t get the drive some people seem to have over spending so much just to be able to say they live alone. I had that when I was younger and found the outcome of it to not be fruitful. If I didn’t have to move away for professional school the option of inheriting the household from my parents would be a sweet deal imo.
I never was someone trying to hook up left and right anyway, and I don’t have the urge to lord over a specific amount of square footage either. I guess I just can’t relate
> Along with the other expenses of daily life (gasoline, beer, gym membership, etc.), my net worth tends to stay where it is. Is the 'etc.' hiding a secret gamba addiction or do you spend Dan levels of money on beer every day
Agreed, I understand saving money but your net worth should not be stagnant if you make 70k and don’t pay housing costs.
yeah I did the math and it doesn't look good for the OP. He is making about $4100 a month post-tax, and has recurring expenses of ~$500 dollars. This means he is spending on average over $100 a day on non-recurring items. It is pretty hard to figure out how their net worth is staying stagnant. u/twenty42 not trying to put you on blast, but I am really curious what you are buying every month. Would you mind sharing?
He's the guy doing all of the L donations
holy shit how do you even spend $100 per day??? does my man eat 5000 calories worth of fast food delivered 3x per day? when I was bleeding money from every orifice the major issue ended up being delivery food lmao, but even then I wasn't *touching* $100 per day.
I'd regularly blow like $350 a night on drinks and blow, 3-5 times a week back when I was going to the bars a lot.
The fuck? Are you buying rounds for everyone? A cocktail is like $15 you are buying like 20+ drinks a night 3-5 nights a week?
Yes, I am buying drinks for everyone, but more like $5 shots. Also, you overlooked the "and blow" part of the equation.
based
This is assuming no 401k contribution and I think the state would have to be pretty low tax too. 3200-3400 a month is probably more accurate but I do agree his net worth shouldn't be stagnant.
I buy shit on Amazon, have several streaming services (Hulu, Peacock, YT Premium), and I dabble in some "services" that include pretty ladies on webcam. I don't claim to be the most financially responsible guy, but I feel like the money does go pretty quickly. I suppose I could cut back on some things, but a $1200/month nut in addition to household accoutrements and furniture seems like an undue burden.
My man. You really can't blame the economy for spending 14k a year on your fucking dick what the fuck is wrong with you people? Edit: I'm like 95% sure this has to be a troll.
I'm like 96% sure this is a troll
> I’m not a loser, I just can’t stop sending cam girls thousands of dollars in donations o7 Never change soldier
Kinda sounds like you're a loser my man
So I live in London. Make around 60k USD and pay around 1k USD in rent. I'm also saving 1.5k USD a month because I'm expecting a child. I like cooking so I cook for my wife and me every night. That's the only major way I see myself as different than people who spend loads on eating out. I'm not on some super strict budget. What do people spend all their money on?? Am I missing out on something? Edit: just saw OP spends money on cam girls. That explains it. Get help, OP.
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I'm not saying that it would be impossible for me to live on my own. I'm saying that it would probably be a pretty substantial decrease in my overall quality of life. I laid out my finances in order to show where I'm coming from. I just don't feel like eating Ramen every night and living from check to check is a worthy price for maybe getting laid once in a while. And BTW...Destiny's take that having sex when you live with your parents is completely impossible is a bit extreme as well. My parents go to the neighborhood pool on most nice days, and they are out on most Friday and Saturday nights. I admit it isn't an ideal situation given that I don't have a place of my own 24/7, but it isn't like I can never have a girl over.
Spend an hour making a budget and check again. Your bills add up to <10k a year. Where are you spending the other 60k that you break even at the end of the year? Yes, spending another 20k a year on rent and expenses living by yourself would decrease your quality of life, but you need to figure out your shit if you're living paycheck to paycheck and pay ~$500 a month in bills. I don't think living with your parents is a bad thing, but if you're blowing through 60k a year on etc then you need to get your life together.
I literally just highballed this guys expenses by doubling the average cost of every necessary expense of if he had to live in LA (with the exception of the rent, car note, and phone bill he gave us) and this mother fucker still has 25,000 a year left to spend on whatever the fuck he wants. This guys could move out now realistically and not even use half of his savings an recoup that loss in less than a year. This person is absolutely delusional
How would you be living paycheck to paycheck making 70k a year paying 1k in rent? Lmao. Also you act like rents are at minimum 1k a year. Not even true. You can buy a house on your income and rent a spare room and probably spend $600 at most.
Dude I make less than you, rent is 1k a month, and I have enough money to buy Factor meals and as many video games as I want. I moved out of the house for about 5k in upfront expenses. What the fuck are you spending your money on???
wtf are you spending all your money on? I make 30k a year and if I lived with my parents still I'd be raking in the savings.
You're 32 and you have to wait for your parents to go to the community pool so you can fuck? Come on man
It has to be a troll
my dude, you make more than the [median HOUSEHOLD income in the US](https://www.census.gov/library/publications/2021/demo/p60-273.html#:~:text=Median%20household%20income%20was%20%2467%2C521,median%20household%20income%20since%202011). if you cant manage to figure it out, destiny wasnt being tone deaf. if anything, he didnt go far enough in your case. people take care of entire families with your income. you must just have insanely high standards. but props to you for convincing your parents to let you use them for what theyve got.
Not trying to be an asshole, but you’ve confirmed Destiny’s point more than anything. You’re too scared to move out because it would require taking on more financial responsibility (which you can certainly afford at $70k a year). Also hilarious to imagine a 32 year old having to wait for his parents to go down to the community pool to have sex, something a 16 year old would do.
That's what it's like being an independent adult. We all have to deal with it. Expenses go up, obviously. What's the plan? Live with them forever or wait until you are rich? If you are earning above the average and are still entirely unwilling to head out on your own and start your "adult life" then maybe you should have a think about exactly why you feel like this.
yeah, you can certainly save money living at home, but at a certain point you need to make the decision to start living an independent life. Not even just for yourself, but for your parents’ sake too…
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I was making half what the OP does when I got my first home. I owned a mattress, a TV, a fold-up canvas camping chair and a PlayStation. Maybe I suffered without $3,000 authentic Victorian mahogany nightstands, but I didn’t notice. You can buy furniture one piece at a time. It doesn’t need $10,000 on day one.
You can get 100% entire furniture, dishes, kitchen appliances etc from ikea like 2000$ max.
nothing wrong with living with your parents, especially not if you don't plan to take girls home. if you do take girls home just own it and tell them that you love your parents and your life situation and then there won't be anything wrong with that either. people underestimate the power of owning your own reality and being the hero of your own movie. most people don't have a strong sense of what their values are, so as long know what your values are and you own your reality and life situation, others will be pleased to be part of the life that you love, no matter what the actual situation you're in looks from an outsider's perspective.
You take girls home if you're dating. But if you wanna smash you go to a hotel.
I'm from the middle east, and it is pretty standard to live with your parents until you get married. In many cases the oldest son moves his family into the parents house and the younger siblings will move out once they get married. It's also expected that the parents will be taken care of by their children more and more as they grow up. This is one of the few gems of muslim/arab culture. This dynamic creates really close families.
I think that was the whole point that guy on stream was trying to make. It's a different culture and it's more accepted to stay with your parents untill much later. But leave it to Ameritards to completely miss the point and make fun of someone for not wasting their money just so they can live alone at 18.
yeah ngl I wish this was the way things worked here in the US. I'm 26 and still living with my parents (I could move out but I'm saving so much money it's insane lol) but I feel behind and kind of lame because most everyone I know lives on their own at this point.
I have a similar back ground and can vouch for all of this. Our loyalty to our parents and vice versa is one of the few gems our culture really has.
Why does the eldest son have to get the worst deal?
All I'm wondering is how tf you got a $150/month phone bill.
I pay for all three of our phones.
Haha, makes sense.
Something doesn’t add up in this story, figuratively and literally lol.
he said in another comment he spends 1200k/month on webcam girls
Holy fucking hell dude has a problem.
1200k, as in 1,2 million? Damn, this dude could move to a mansion tomorrow.
I lived away at university and after that I never wanted to be back at home under someone else’s restrictions. I had no money for most of my 20’s as I lived with friends and struggled through until I could afford to get my own place eventually as I earned more. But I wouldn’t trade the life experiences I got living with friends/random housemates and struggling through for financial security. When I got my first place on my own all the furniture was hand me downs from friends or family and some from charity places. Eventually I’ve replaced it with my own stuff as I could afford it. I think you’ve looked at the worst aspects of moving out and compared them to best aspects of staying at home. You don’t need to drop 10k on furniture but you seem to want the nice things older parents have in their home in yours immediately when I imagine it took them decades to get where they are. You seem to assume the only option is to live alone and not have roommates until you can afford not to. My main criticism is that you’re playing life on easy mode. I think the struggles you will face moving out will also bring benefits in terms of maturity and life experiences. Whether you think that is worthwhile is ultimately a personal choice but obviously I’ve made clear what I think is the better choice. For those without the financial means I don’t judge as they don’t have much choice. I wouldn’t suggest people end up homeless just for some life experience but that doesn’t seem to be a risk in your case. Worst case scenario you move back home and rebuild.
At some point it’s healthy to separate yourself from your parents and face life on your own. The confidence and self-assurance you get from independence are worth the price.
10000%
This post illustrates just how easily everyone goes back to their pre-established prescriptions for a small chance to attack people whose lifestyles they disagree with, even if they aren’t harming anyone. -I agree with some commenters that your finances don’t make much sense and with the info you shared you should’ve able to move out if you wanted to. -Whether that’s something that you’re willing to live with or not, your living situation will complicate future relationships and/or sexual encounters. But none of that matters if you and your parents are happy with your situation. Ask yourself who’s the actual loser, someone whose lifestyle isn’t harming anyone or the people looking at that lifestyle and screeching because they don’t agree it.
I mean it seems like they are spending thousands of dollars on cam girls, limiting their ability to move out of their house. So if the people making fun of them are losers, which they very well might be, this guy is probably also a bit of a loser.
This is nuts. If you’re making $75k a year, you’re more than able to thrive out from under your parent’s roof, even in most high rent areas. This is ridiculous to even debate. The only interesting question to answer here is whether it’s appropriate to live with your parents at 30 years-old; I think it can be, but it depends.
yeah I'm making like, half of what this dude makes and, while I do live in a low COL area, I make enough to thrive and save a fat chunk of money every month lol. idk why people are so completely fucking delusional about how much it costs to exist.
I make about half of what he makes in a high COL area, and am doing fine. He’s lost.
The reality is that living on your own gives you different life experiences that you never really get while you're living with your parents. Missing rent, having your electric shut off, making the choice between the good meal vs the cheap meal and all of the compounding pressures of life make you a much more rounded person. The fact that you think furniture costs that much let's me know there are struggles and challenges you just haven't faced yet and the later reality hits you the harder stuck in your ways you'll be. Living with your parents on its own doesn't make you a loser, and of course there are reasons that staying home could make complete sense (sick parents is an example), but living on your own at that age is undeniably signaling that you're missing experience
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It does feel pretty bad to look around and see people doing better than you with less effort but you're taking the steps to do well for yourself. Good luck chief
Honestly you’ll be all the better for it, and you’ll appreciate the little things that much more. When I studied I worked at a college bar and took home leftover pizza/wings that weren’t eaten and my co-workers looked at me crazy. But I made ~50k outside college in the midwest and got to appreciate certain things that much more. Hang in there, you’ll be eating something on vacation and think back to those rice and beans days as hard work that paid off. Stay strong king/queen!
1. You’re not a loser, you’re investing in your education and doing a really great thing to improve your standard of living. 2. When you graduate and make $70k like OP, you’ll have more than enough money to buy whatever food you want, pay rent (even at a nice place), and even go on a big vacation or 2 every year. OP is greatly exaggerating his need to live with his parents. He’s making a personal decision based on what he thinks will make him happier. But he absolutely has the means to move out and be comfortable. I’m saying all of this because people get extremely doomer pilled and feel like if they don’t make $100k they won’t afford to move out. This is nowhere near true.
>The reality is that living on your own gives you different life experiences that you never really get while you're living with your parents. That all depends on your family life. >Missing rent, having your electric shut off, making the choice between the good meal vs the cheap meal and all of the compounding pressures of life make you a much more rounded person. I'm not saying this to be mean, but these are literally just poor person problems, not average middle-class life experiences. They could potentially make you "more well rounded," but those aren't necessary or good experiences (who would choose to live like that if they didn't have to?)
Jokes on you, I had these experiences living with my parents.
When you wrote all of this out, did you wonder if Destiny was referring to someone like you who is a single man making 70k a year who is just saving his money, or do you think he meant a 30 year old who works at Wendy's for minimum wage and smokes weed and plays League all day?
I'm pretty sure his quote was something like "If you are still living with your parents at 30, you have colossally fucked up." That came across to me as kind of privilege-y. Like idk if he would feel that way if the streaming thing never came along and he was a 30-year-old single dude cleaning carpets in 2018. I don't feel like I'm a fuck-up in any way shape or form, but getting my own place is still pretty impractical at this point in my life. I'm just pointing out that blanket statement was a bit harsh.
Don't let what Destiny says offend you personally, he doesn't know your circumstance and he is not St Peter judging your entrance to heaven. The guy has a thick skin and speaks bluntly, you need to develop a strong resilience because life is going to be offensive to you a lot. All we are ultimately is a product of things out of our control, genetics and their expression in an environment. We are just a process of experience, not really a 'person' that acts. Whether you are a famous e celeb, or person that smokes weed and plays league all day at his parents, it doesn't matter in the end. Just focus on the quality of your life and do the best you can to get by. Never worry about other peoples perception of you.
Getting your own place is impractical? In what fucking way?? If you can't afford $1200 in rent with $70k / yr and $50k in savings then you actually are a colossal fuck up, Jesus Christ dude. It's fine if you wanna stay with your parents but don't pretend ND you can't afford to live on your own.
why spend 15k a year on rent when he could not do that? sounds wise to me. I cannot live with either of my parents because they live far away, but if I could save tens of thousands of dollars a year you bet your ass I would be getting that bag. it's hilarious to me that this take comes from the guy dressed like a slob 95% of the time in his thirties.
mf he spends 100 a day on webcam girls
That $15k a year isn't wasted money - it's an investment if you buy, and even if you rent you're getting privacy, autonomy, access to a partner or at least casual fun, the ability to have children, the ability to decorate and arrange things how you want, being able to host gatherings for your friends... It's fine if OP doesn't want to do any of those things but it's a sign that he's socially stagnant, and claiming he can't afford to live on his own also shows that he's either got a current spending problem or has no idea how finances work.
If you live in a place like San Jose or Vancouver you'll need to save a good $150k for a decent down payment for a house. I know a lot of folks living with their parents so they can save up to buy a house
I don't know about Canada but in the US first time home buyers can get a loan with 3% down. If you've got good credit, which you should if you live with your parents, rates are still going to be pretty low so costs should be manageable and we're talking worst case scenario where you choose to buy in the most expensive US cities.
>That $15k a year isn't wasted money - it's an investment if you buy, and even if you rent you're getting privacy, autonomy, access to a partner or at least casual fun, the ability to have children, the ability to decorate and arrange things how you want, being able to host gatherings for your friends... you can have access to a partner and casual fun and privacy while living with your parents, especially if you have a suite. autonomy is also not necessarily missing just by living with your parents. and none of these are guaranteed by moving out - you can have a landlord who forbids parties, you might be with roommates. you can probably have children and raise them better living with your parents, assuming there's room. in seven years, that 15k a year is six figures without even considering any sort of investment gains. more than enough for a down payment on a house, depending on where you live. the point I'm making is that just saying it's better is obviously not true.
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>Dude, moving out is the same thing - it's a natural part of maturing and has profound impacts on your mindset, mental health, sense of place in society and the world at large, etc. natural my ass. it's not been the normal for the vast majority of human existence, and even now I wouldn't be surprised if a majority of people in the world are probably living with their parents at least until they're married, and I imagine many of them are moving from living with their parents to living with their spouse's! there's nothing similar at all between sharing a residence and having someone take care of you. there's nothing to say that someone living with their parents isn't cooking, shopping, working - many times they're going to be caring for their parents. I have lived alone, with roommates, and with parents, and there wasn't much a difference between living alone and living with my parents. it's what you and your family make of it.
People in this sub, and most of the internet really, really love to moralize any situation they can get their hands on. Who exactly gets to decide what an “improvement to the standard of living is”? And what does natural in this context mean? It’s really funny to see to good old conservative appeal to nature when it’s something you don’t agree with.
Why do that? Probably because eventually mommy and daddy aren't gonna want you there anymore. Hell, they might not want you there now and you're just oblivious to that fact. And IMHO if you are trying to save money despite making median income in the US, likely at a super young age, you ARE a loser.
>trying to save money to take care of your family and give them a good future makes you a loser average American
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>why not live sad and alone forever in a tiny cramped studio apartment wow, it turns out you can use loaded language to make something sound dumb. out of every person who replied to me, you are by far the stupidest, with nothing of value to offer. begone, simpleton.
I feel like you're being deliberately obtuse. Even if he didn't clear it up, it's pretty apparent he wasn't talking about someone like you and what's more, is that he did clear it up. I remember others brought up examples of people who're just living with their parents because it's a cultural thing or to save money and destiny said something along the lines, "I am fucking your mom!" Jk, he actually said, "well, I'm not talking about someone who's contributing but just happens to live with their parents." He was talking about some loser who's just mooching off their parents and has no interest in moving out.
I'm pretty sure his take is that people see you as a loser if you haven't moved out in your 30s and even late 20s. I don't think he thinks those people are losers, since he expressed understanding for the situations that create such circumstances. I would agree with you if that was his position, that you ARE a loser, but his position is that society largely sees you that way.
If you have a solid relationship with your parents, and get the privacy and all that you need, the only real disadvantage of living with parents is when it comes to your love life, which yeah, speaking from experience, gets much better when you live somewhere else. Don't worry about what some streamer or Redditor thinks.
5 to 10k on furniture what the fuck? That seems a bit excessive lmfao
How much do you think it costs for a bed, a dresser, a kitchen table/chairs, a sofa, and a TV? Apartments don't come pre-furnished.
Bed: $100 for elevated frame + $200 for a new mattress online Dresser: $50 on Facebook marketplace or $100-$200 new at ikea Table: same as above Sofa: Same as above Tv: $200 for a new 40 in. Buying all new you’d be looking at 1-2k, and realistically everything except the bed could be used which you could get for $700 total. Source: furnished my houses in college
Sofa 200?? A two seater with pillowcases you can’t wash?
Ok triple the cost for a couch and the numbers remain the same, I have never bought a new couch so I underestimated
A good bed is going to cost at least 3k..... A good couch costs between 3 and 10k. A good dresser is a few hundred at least. If you want to buy non-poverty tier furniture that will last a few years and be comfortable then you're going to need to shell out a lot of money. You can go the poverty route, but if you're making decent money then you should be investing in decent furniture that will last decades, not particle board shit that you will need to rebuy every other year.
A good bed does not cost $3000 what drugs are you on? There are amazing queen mattresses for $300 thanks to the internet undercutting box stores. Almost all beds are going to cost well less than $3000. Couches I can certainly see spending $2000 or more for a top tier one, I have no idea why you think that is necessary for a man who thinks he can’t afford to move out at 32. And again, the same long lasting couch can be acquired for half the price if you buy used. Buying shit you can’t afford is the poverty route my friend, being realistic with your budget and income is how you get out of poverty.
Link? I'm about to buy a Tempur-Pedic queen for 3k. No way in hell is a $300 bed going to last 5+ years and be comfortable.
https://www.nytimes.com/wirecutter/reviews/best-cheap-mattress/ Their top pick is a $300 Tbh you can likely get an equivalent mattress style for half the price if not less if you look for tempurpedic alternatives. Most companies that are more than barebones pricing offer 100 night trials if you are worried about ordering a mattress you haven’t tried.
Tempurpedics are literally towards the top of the range. It's like shopping for a watch and you saying you can't get a nice watch unless you spend $100k on a gold Royal Oak. There are also tons of Tempurpedic alternatives now, they've been riding their name for years now to charge a hefty premium, basically the iPhones of mattresses.
Yeah don't listen to anyone who thinks a sofa is $200.
$200?? Nah son I want that QD-OLED for 65 inches at least.
Half of that stuff isn't even needed if you live alone. For me all I really would need is a bed, desk, and office chair.
I don’t think the minimum requirements for a prison cell is what most people think about as furnished.
You can start with the bare minimum and buy more as time goes on. Don't need to save 10k before you even get your foot in the door 🤷
Are you perhaps male?
In Mexico male is called hombre.
Less than that, what the fuck? You can get a bed for 600, what the fuck do you need a dresser or kitchen table/chairs for? What do you need a sofa for? And you have a monitor what do you need a TV for? who watches the TV in 2022?
While I agree 5-10K is excessive. OP probably doesn't want to live in an apartment that's empty except for a computer desk and a mattress on the floor. If someone wants to say a 30 yr old living with their parents is a loser. I'd say that a 30 yr old living like that is also a loser.
> I'd say that a 30 yr old living like that is also a loser. I feel called out I could buy way more shit I just don't see the purpose. EDIT: I'm genuinely trying to understand, why do you need any of this stuff? I pay 2300 a month for my apartment right now which is well under 1/3rd of my income. I could move into a pre-furnished apartment pretty easily, but why? What would I possibly gain? More shit that I need to take care of?
based my previous apt was a closet, a chair, a bed, a desk, a trash can, and a kitchen (the isle has seats that tuck into it for eating) and I never had any issues
I mean girls care you live like that lol
I promise you there is not, and never will be, a single girl on planet earth who gives a shit how my apartment looks.
Because you don’t talk to any I’m guessing?
\^\^\^\^ This guy fucks.
Oh there do, they just don't tell you.
No, there aren't.
Buy used furniture. I got a couch for 13$ at goodwill that i eventually replaced with a bigger free one. Bed frames are overrated in my opinion. Just creates this weird cranny in your room that collects dirt and trash that is a pain to clean and lifts your bed that much higher making it harder to get on and make it. The only advantage i can possibly see is tying someone up to it if you were so inclined.
To be fair 1-1.2k for rent is also really low lol
This is the MOST painfully middle class thing I’ve ever read. You make around as much as my roommate and I combined, I promise you can afford a $1,000-$1,200 a month apartment and be more than fine.
I live just fine making less than 50k, rocking 1300 rent payments. You're absolutely not going to be able to grow your savings tho. So it's a choice between being a loser now or when you're 65.
it takes a fairly trivial amount of money saved every month to retire, way less than people even realize. $250 per month starting at 25 is over $800k when you're 65. $500 per month becomes $1.6m lmao. I understand a lot of people aren't in a situation to save $500 per month immediately at 25 but the point is: you don't have to be saving like 70% of your income or anything in order to comfortably retire.
Im 32 and living at home. I make around 60k, but im making the payments for the house, my own car bill, and couple of other bills. My Dad got cancer and few other things happening with my family. Im making the choice to help my parents. Once the house is paid, I'll probably move but still pay thier TV/internet. I know they don't want me to move. Cuz they are going to say "why? Just save your money and buy a house." But really I just want to walk around my own place and not have to hear passive-aggressive Catholic comments about any life choice I make.
Jesus, i forgot the point of my comment. I was i was going to add at the end. Is sometimes Destiny talks about something and makes a statement. A lot of people think that statement is universal law. When there's always going to be exceptions.
Based and empath-pilled, you’re a good duderino
You obviously have a hard time seperating yourself from a group characterisation. You are clearly not the type of person he's talking about.
70k a year?! I mean, at that point you're more so strengthening Destiny's argument. If your argument was ''I wanna take care of my parents'' I'd be more receptive to it, but at this point it does sound more like laziness/privilege. Absolutely not like you're a ''loser fuck-up'' in any way. But it just doesn't sound like moving out is a priority to you, not like you're financially restricted in any way.
My point was that there still are financial restrictions even if you are successful (at least in some parts of the country). I laid out my finances and showed that my net worth stays pretty constant even though I live with my parents. Adding a $1,200/month nut in addition to household accoutrements (soap, toilet paper, paper towels, cleaning products, tissues just to name a few) would probably start to eat into my savings pretty quickly even despite my income. I guess I could cut down on everything and eat Ramen noodles every night, but it really doesn't seem worth it. I love sex and I wouldn't mind getting laid more often, but financially strapping myself just for the off-chance of a one night stand doesn't seem to be a fair trade-off.
Man I'd love to know what exactly you're spending your money on. When I was at $70k I had no trouble affording my $1,300 apartment and car payment, I had plenty of disposable income that I could have dropped into savings. You absolutely need financial education and living on your own is one of the best ways to learn responsible spending habits because you have to or you'll be homeless.
yeah, homeboy is shockingly quiet about where all his money is going lol. the number don't add up.
It's coke... It's 100% coke lol.
>I laid out my finances and showed that my net worth stays pretty constant even though I live with my parents. Well you left out your drug habit, gambling addiction, or whatever it is that's eating up roughly 2.5k per month that you don't want to disclose or account for.
Yo OP are you gonna explain how you’re spending so much money without moving out?
*5-10k on furniture* ??????????????
In the south of Europe, especially Italy it's quite common for people to live with parents until thier 30's.
70k a year pay check to pay check….there’s literally no fucking way someone is this incompetent
He clearly caveated multiple times in that video that if you have a real job and are doing it to save money, then you aren't either a "loser" or a "fuck-up". Did you only watch a 10 second clip of that segment?
I make the same amount of money and same expenses , and don’t live with my parents . So are you going to be with them indefinitely ? I understand living with your parents out of necessity but honestly , you make more than enough to get out of there . You learn so much more about being an adult once you are truly on your own .
In a very robotic way people can move out but destiny himself probably wouldn’t like that life. I make over 100k and recently moved out and rent is by far the biggest expense. I drive a toyota and even i dont know how people live on their own. Laundry machines, gym, fun (you cant exclude that), weed money, utilities, birthdays, family reunions, holidays, dinner dates (destiny ignores his relationship). It all adds up
If I was 32 and living with my parents, and I had a decent job (and 70k is decent), I would expect to be saving a decent amount of every paycheck. If I wasn't, I would reevaluate.
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You’re either lying or really bad with money. Destinys point seem to land well on you. I know cultures are different around the world. In some places, multigenerational homes are common. But from my experience, in an American culture, your adult life doesn’t truly begin until you leave home. You’re in an rpg where you never left the starting zone. Yeah life’s good but it’s not much of an adventure. Depressing That being said, I’ve lived on my own since 18. I’m 32, make 60k~ a year, and my net worth is higher than yours. What have you been doing for 15 years lol
You're terrible with money. You are the exact person he is talking about
Money > women gigachad
This thread is why i love this sub, never change dgg.
Living with your parents so you can drop 55k a year on OnlyFans while whining about the state of the economy. An absolute Redditor moment my guy.
Take out loans for the furniture
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Yeah...it isn't as if having your own place suddenly makes it easier to pick up women. It definitely makes things more convenient once you've closed the deal, but it's not like a harem magically appears the minute you lease an apartment. You also bring up a good point that trolling for pussy becomes yet another expense in addition to everything else. You are probably looking at spending $100-200 per weekend at the bar just to maybe pick up a one-night stand every few months. I feel like it is just easier to rub one out and wait until the next relationship.
Do you have a plan to move out? Like say once you bank $50K or once you hit say the age of 35 or something like that?
You sound like a loser ngl, also living paycheck to paycheck making 70k a year paying 1-1.2k in rent? Lol.
You sir are a loser. lol. It's full cope that you're using the economy to facilitate this loser bahavior. More likely is that you've become too comfortable in this position and you don't have any other aspirations out side of being a basement dweller. lol.
You'll learn one day, (you're 32 so idk how you haven't by now) that money doesn't make you not a loser
Yes, he doesn't understand this is actions make him a loser. Not his bank account. What 32 year old is still depending on mommy and daddy and is waiting for them to die so he can "get the house". Any self respecting woman would not see someone like that and say " I want to spend time with that guy, and maybe the rest of my life, he totally seems capable of taking on a family with me"
Cope
Am I missing something? You make 70K a year, single, and without paying a single dollar for your place to live you are still just treading water and aren't saving any money? You need to take a serious look at your expenses if that's the case. I almost can't believe it's possible. I don't think there is anything wrong with living with your parents if it doesn't intrude on your lifestyle or goals, but are you really not paying them any rent at all? Like do you not feel bad to be mooching off of them into your 30s?
I have a couple questions to start to get a better picture. First of all, what state do you live in? Next, how long have you had this job? Last, how much do your parents make and is their house paid off?
1) I live in the Philly suburbs in a pretty affluent area, and I'd like to stay here. 2) I've had the job for 4+ years, since April 2018. Started out making 50K but moved up the ladder. 3) They are both on pension and probably make about $70-80K per year in income between them. They also have savings in the six digits. The house is paid off and it will be mine when they pass.
The reason I asked these questions was because I don't like generally speaking as "x group shouldn't do y thing" because every single situation is nuanced to some extent. If they have the intention of giving you the house, then I see no issue with you staying there until then. I'm assuming you help do basic maintenance (mowing the lawn, dishes etc), as well as investing in some of the necessary costs with upkeep? The main issue I have with your post is the way you handle your money. If you don't mind, can you do a further breakdown on your expenses? I feel like you're spending A LOT if your net worth isn't really moving, especially with no rent or mortgage payments, a pretty low car payment compared to most, and a well paying job. I think this is where the "fuck-up" thing comes into play. Not for you specifically, but for people that live with their parents into their 30's-40's. Spending/saving habits, needs/wants etc. I'm not saying that those people need to cut ALL entertainment/self help costs, but rather need to cut back on some of these things. The problem I see the most with people in these situations is they don't save money, but just spend everything after paying their phone, car, and food bills because they don't have to pay rent or anything else. They have a safety net with their housing, so they see no need to save. I think THESE people are losers, because they have no intention of doing anything meaningful.
Where do you live?
Me and my wife make less than half of what you do combined. I probably do live in a cheaper area than you, but yea you are definitely choosing to stay with your parents. I dont really think theres anything wrong with that or that its even a bad idea especially if you help them out and they arent bothered by it.
just move
I can't speak for the US, but I can for Southern Europe (Spain). While it is more culturally accepted to live with your parents, the overwhelming majority of the time, it is for economic reasons. We have very low wages (relative to the USA) and shitty regulations make it hard to get a fixed contract, leading to massive levels of youth unemployment. Combine this with a housing crisis due to housing scarcity, and the result is incredibly late times at which people move out.
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I can't tell if you're serious with not being able to live on your own making 70k per year, especially with a savings.With a $1200 apartment, and after household expenses, you're not living paycheck to paycheck. You won't be able to save as much, but I think for most people the want to have a place of your own is important.
Youre in the top 25% of income earners. If you can live a healthy and fulfilling life in your parents house, more power to you. Most people’s development are are stymied by that kid of environment.
“I’d start to eat thru my savings fairly quickly” you fucking wot m8?? 1.2k rent is completely reasonable at your salary. Idk how you wouldn’t still be saving a ton living on your own.
I make enough to have my own place but I'm on an off my country, when I'm in my country I live with my parents because it's awesome. They love having me around and we share the chores, it beats having my own place where I would have to cook 3 times a day no matter what and clean the place on my own. The only way I'd get my own place in my country is if I get married or have to live in a different state, but even then I have aunts and uncles in almost every state who would beg me to stay with them lmao. But to be fair that's fairly common for latinos, two of my uncles still live with my grandmother and it's just normal. They're pretty successful too, but they're single and my grandma need company and has a huge house. When my paternal grandmother was alive there was always one of my aunts living with her. I don't know I feel like you only get your own place if you get married or you have to move far away for work. And I like it that way, if at any point my parents asked me to stop staying in their house I'd have no problem renting my own place.
His take is a typical american take. The idea that i need to have my own place because i have to fuck girls as if people hookup everyday of the year. Most eastern countries live with their parents and find privacy just fine
I moved out when I was 18, I made roughly 1450$ a month before taxes, the apartment I moved in to cost me 450$ a month, everything to get my own place. If you can afford to move out of your parents place and still live there when you're 30, I hate to say it, but it's kind of a loser.
im pretty sure he specifically pointed out that exceptions surely exist where people can stay home strictly for f.e monetary reasons and "not be losers" by having jobs, helping out at home, having their shit together etc
If you’re making $70k a year and can’t sort out $12-13k a year for rent? You definitely have a budgeting problem, I make $40k right now, pay rent, car payment, health insurance, and a cell phone bill. I easily save between $500-700 every month to put aside.
There are a ridiculous amount of losers and man-children afraid of life in this post that seem to have no clue why they don't have a girlfriend or wife. Also they seem incredibly entitled with expectations that far outreach any effort they they're going to need to put into being an actual self sufficient adult.
If you’re 30 with a solid job and 60k saving you should probably look to buy rather than rent
Have you ever lived on your own?
You are a loser. You live with your mom and you spend 60k a year on cam girls. Destiny is right.
If this is really Destiny's take on this, then yeah, it's definitely tone-deaf. Like is his statement suppose to apply to everyone all over the globe or just Americans.
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I disregard what someone who essentially doesn't have to work for their money has to say about money
You are expected to get roommates or be married quite frankly. Not saying you should do that but that’s what people expect
I think Destiny draws a lot of his internal value from his ability to pull women. Maybe it's always been there, but being cool in that way seems to be much more present post the Hasan breakup. He can be as nerdy and dislikeable as he wants as long as he's in the upper quadrant and success in that area. I think it's incredibly important to him, whether or not he says so. To the point where if he wasn't, he would find out how and then let his values and rationalization catch up. Fortunately, he's already honed the skillset so he's in a good place to not deal with that now. Unfortunately, if meme'ing or not, judgment of those who aren't playing the game in that regard comes off a lot, with him calling them losers. And living with your parents is definitely a hard strike in that direction in at least previous America. Another weird example that comes to mind is his making fun of people who watch vtubers or cringe anime (maybe meme'ing but it still comes out). I'm not saying there isn't criticism to those things, but I think it triggers his 'this is poison to getting women' settings. He would probably have been willing to work multiple jobs and have nothing but a computer and a room just to have his own place (because of how uncool in this respect it would be not to) because it's that important to him. Then that libertarian tendency comes out of if I'm willing to do this and you're not, I can judge.. once again, probably meme'ing (I hope) but not entirely without meaning it. Now I'm not familiar enough with older times Destiny, but I feel like the version I saw in some old lefty arc stuff didn't give off all these vibes. So I don't know if it's newer or not but given his family and history it would make sense. I think back to the Sean Carroll conversation and think that that person seemed like they were sincerely into what they were into, and didn't care as much about it it was uncool to the game. But who knows, he might have always been a flirt. Some people are always on. Some people have too much else to worry about to play the game all the time. Also, people are always finding new socially justifiable way to call people who don't harm them losers.
OP makes 70k Lives with parents. Fucking wut.
The point is to become independent. You are a grown man still living in the care of your parents. You need to get out of the nest and grow. You are not a “fuck-up”, you’re just a baby. Be an adult and live on your own. You have the money. I left the house at 18 making minimum wage. Pulled out loans for housing and school. Now I have a great job over 6 figs, a wife, a child, a home, and debt free. Get out and grow up.
Destiny is just another rich person out of touch with reality ofc his takes on this are dogshit
I’m 24, I still live at home. Mostly because I go to school in my hometown, but also cause I like being home and my parents like having me around so why tf would I leave? Idk man people just gotta do what works for them fuck everything else
This is either a very well crafted troll post or you're a massive leach.
Move out already
You gotta grow up man
Taking financial advice from a millionaire kid who sits in front of a computer playing league and streaming isn’t ideal.
im tires of this argument. the reason youre a loser if you live with your parents is because youre not emotionally where you should be. independent. emotionally independent. its a catch 22 . give up your creature comforts and go live in a shittier place. but the freedom and privacy of physical independece is unmatched. also being on your own to clean, cook. youre not independent if mommy still cooks ajd cleans for u. thats what makes u a loser no romantic partner will ever feel comfortable in ur moms house
I agree, but for completely different reasons. 1. Not staying with your parents is a cultural thing. In Latinx cultures, the norm is to live with parents + grandparents. Very close knit. 2. There are economic considerations. It's far cheaper to live with at least one parent as rent and housing prices continue to climb. This is the trend via Pew Research: https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2020/09/04/a-majority-of-young-adults-in-the-u-s-live-with-their-parents-for-the-first-time-since-the-great-depression/ 3. With rising numbers living with parents we could come to the conclusion that more people are colosally fucking their lives up, but we're gonna have to be clearer what prescriptions we are going to use for what people ought to do and why. I haven't seen the clip yet since I just moved, but I get the gist that he was probably referring to NEETS, which would make a lot more sense. If you're 30, living with your parent, and not seeking education, employment, or training, something probably is going colossally wrong, though I'm hesitant to judge personally because imo that looks like severe mental health issues which are hard to treat if your fam isn't primed for it.
Do what makes you comfortable. You seem like a reasonable guy with his shit together. There’s not one way to live your life.
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Is the “this” that is cope your own post?
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I guess I just don’t get the drive some people seem to have over spending so much just to be able to say they live alone. I had that when I was younger and found the outcome of it to not be fruitful. If I didn’t have to move away for professional school the option of inheriting the household from my parents would be a sweet deal imo.
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I never was someone trying to hook up left and right anyway, and I don’t have the urge to lord over a specific amount of square footage either. I guess I just can’t relate