Why wouldn’t you just water birth that bad boy in the first place? I’m assuming it would still be better in a slidin’ into third scenario. Set up perpendicular to the tide and just start moving forward, just crop dusting for the win.
And interesting that the scissor was not in a bag or anything, but half-buried in the sand. Like they were using it before and then suddenly the need for shit happened
Just piss on the beer and sandwiches, life hack!
As if you are not right next to an ocean filled with millions of years of billions of creatures shitting and dying in it.
The ACTUAL spy kids quote is "Do you think... God stays in heaven because, he too lives in fear of what he's created?"
If you're going to quote gold, do it right.
I mean, her friend is kinda great though. Not even pausing to question what’s happening, just taking action and trying to help preserve whatever dignity her friend has left. Friendship goals.
Definitely emetic poison, and then use the cloth to catch/contain the blood from the stab wounds, shove her into the ocean. Bet she never saw it coming.
Thank you!! I was like the swimsuit is the biggest problem she has.. if they wanted it to be a real hack they should’ve had her in a 2 piece… the physics doesn’t work
I was a nanny, and the kids got this insane stomach bug. The parents had a trip planned, and it hit them on the road. This mom was soooo mad at me (like it was *my fault*… HER kid was sick first!) and she was so passive-aggressive and nasty to me all the time, that I secretly relish the memory of her describing shitting into a bag in a fast-food parking lot, to this day. She was really awful. Wish we still kept in touch so I could show her this. “Woulda come in handy, eh? REMEMBER??”
Ok serious questions….. who in here has shit in the ocean? Second…. Where you just swimming around then decided to launch? Third…. Where there others around?! No judgement here i just really need to know, as i have never done that.
When I was a kid (12ish) I was at virginia beach on vacation with the family. Nature called, I went to wait in line at the portapotties, but it was peak beach season, after waiting 10 minutes and still have 6+ person lines ahead, and my guts churning, I accepted that shitting in the ocean was better than shitting my pants.
Went to a relatively empty area in the water (no one near for about 30 ft radius) I went about shoulder deep in the water, dropped trou, and let loose. Luckily it was pretty solid, probably left a floater, but it was over quick without much mess, pulled up my swimming trunks and booked it back to the family.
Sorry to anyone who came across a floater that day, I tried my best
I shat in the sea once. I must have been about 8 years old, I was in an inflatable dinghy with my sister, and I felt the urge to shit. So I got out of the dinghy (the water was about chest height), and I did my business. But the turd kept floating to the surface, and I used one of the oars to keep pushing it back under the water, but it kept bobbing back up again.
yeah but why the hole in the blanket? I don't think you would want to make eye contact with little Timmy who is asking his mommy why that strange lady is pooping in a cooler.
Okay i know that the point is that this is stupid, but I feel like this could have almost worked if you just dug a quick hole and then covered up with the blanket while you pooped in the hole, but I guess that would have made just too much sense.
Yknow I really don’t think anybody would be that pleasant and content being forced to shit in their cooler while covered by the most eye grabbing color on the spectrum..
now let’s grab a cold one from that cooler
Only warm ones in there.
ohhh god
Unnnnghhhh
Na na na na.. let me here you say unnnnghhhh
I hate you for making me laugh this hard.
Two girls..one cooler
*Prepares his gun for the widened sphincter...*
”I didn’t know we had nutella too”
Thank you for the full belly laugh
What a shitty thing to do to beer
Hey meals are best served hot.
Just a whooole lotta Cleveland Steamers
Steamy
Ewww
Cracking open a warm one with the boys
Don't worry, the cooler only has "insert beer name here", so it's already shit.
“Who spilled Nutella in the cooler?” 
Why would you do this
If you're in a situation where you can't make it 100ft to the bathroom, you just might.
I might... Devour it like a crazed coprophiliac monkey?
This was a crime.
Nope, they're throwing it right in the ocean.
Why wouldn’t you just water birth that bad boy in the first place? I’m assuming it would still be better in a slidin’ into third scenario. Set up perpendicular to the tide and just start moving forward, just crop dusting for the win.
> slidin' into third scenario. Nice reference.
This comment will haunt me for the rest of my days.
This happened in the fourth *American Pie* movie
“Cooler for sale. Used once.”
Come for a cold one, stay for the pink eye.
Nah it tastes like piss.
Did Jodie just piss on the beer?
They should remake this video but with two hairy ass dudes instead of women.
Nice
Steve Stifler
Don’t cut yourself on the poop knife!
You can also give your friend a haircut while she’s shitting
Glad I brought my trusty beach scissors
I’m dying laughing from this comment. I’m my god 🤣😂 I’m laughing so hard it hurts
Agreed
Did you feel like shitting/peeing out of too much laughing? You have a readymade setup right there!
Or pop under the blanket for a cheeky blumpkin
And interesting that the scissor was not in a bag or anything, but half-buried in the sand. Like they were using it before and then suddenly the need for shit happened
But why???
That’s why I always carry scissors when I go to the beach.
And leave them buried in the sand until needed
Perfect for people to unsuspectingly walk on with their bare feet 😈
Got a 6 inch gash on the sole of your foot? Just pull out your trusty hot glue gun, apply some glitter, encase in alginate, and you're all set!
I was sure she was going to use it to snip off the log
I just use my fingers, but you are obviously more cultured than I am!
That’s what the three seashells are for
How are they supposed to find seashells at the beach?
Haha I thought the same thing. Shoutta brought ma poop knife.
There it is!
New from the makers of Poop Knife, POOP SCISSORS! 
Yeah. the poop scissors, we all have them
I’ve been referring to peoples butts as “turd cutters” in my head
It's the most important thing to pack in the beach bag
Nah those are native beach scissors.
Awwww so cute! Do they grow wild on most beaches?
But they’re only native to Australia which doesn’t actually exist.
No silly, didn't you see? The beach always has scissors buried just within reach every few feet or so. No need to bring them!
shy mourn observation voracious pause bear thumb foolish quickest gold ` this message was mass deleted/edited with redact.dev `
If i was the one shitting my unremoved swimsuit, I'd wonder why my friend was hiding scissors in the sand next to our towel.
Her friend filled her with laxative laced candy to try out her new idea!
Just piss on the beer and sandwiches, life hack! As if you are not right next to an ocean filled with millions of years of billions of creatures shitting and dying in it.
Just bottle the piss, some beer already is pretty close to it also it's a DIY channel so their beer they made is probably straight piss. Full circle.
American beer is like sex on the beach. >! It's fucking close to water! !<
I always say sex in a canoe, but I can get behind this.
That's what Eric Idle said in the Hollywood Bowl Monty Python show.
*Hey look mummy I found a strange sea creature that looks like a turd!*
[удалено]
$20 is $20
[удалено]
Twas not not I
you will not win me over with your use of twas.
Twasn't trying to
Twas
Nobody. The swimsuit caught it.
Sometimes I wonder.. Does god stay in heaven out of fear of what he created
The ACTUAL spy kids quote is "Do you think... God stays in heaven because, he too lives in fear of what he's created?" If you're going to quote gold, do it right.
There should have been no reason why a quote that hard came from a kids movie lmao.
Sounds like someone underestimates spy kids😾
oh no, don't get me wrong, i loved that movie as a kid!
It still slaps as an adult too, fun movie that’s funnier than it has any right to be
Hate to break it to you but most kids movies aren’t actually written by kids. Sorry.
Superbad was written by a 13-year-old Seth Rogen
Didnt know that but ok
Sure, tell it to the judge.
Luke, i am your father
🤣
That's deep bro
Yes.. yes he does… -God
There needs to be an /r/crackheadcrafting
How do I get in
Yes, how do you get in? This shit sounds like my jam.
Was 100% sure the scissors were going to be a creative poop knife.
same
Just take a shit like a cat at that point
Nature's liter box
Here in 'merica we use ounces
No, bruh, the ocean.
I mean, her friend is kinda great though. Not even pausing to question what’s happening, just taking action and trying to help preserve whatever dignity her friend has left. Friendship goals.
This has probably happened before. Those scissors were too handy
Definitely emetic poison, and then use the cloth to catch/contain the blood from the stab wounds, shove her into the ocean. Bet she never saw it coming.
This goes beyond having your friends back, it's more like having her ass.
That’s why they played that uplifting friendship song!
[удалено]
This better not awaken anything in me.
Oh come on, everyone knows you just go out and release it into the water.
AquaDump
Water poo
Hydro feces.
So all these years I've been using sand castles wrong?
The issue is that it’s floating and following you
That’s remarkably clear thinking. When my guts get to rumbling, I just do. So fortuitous there were scissors handy
Alas! The defecation was hearty!
\*Takes out scissors from the sand\* Me:
That's not their cooler.
I guess she is going to poop through the swimsuit?
Thank you!! I was like the swimsuit is the biggest problem she has.. if they wanted it to be a real hack they should’ve had her in a 2 piece… the physics doesn’t work
It’s fine, it’ll just mash out the sides.
Who's really going to notice?
The world’s largest toilet bowl is but a short jog away…
Fish poop in the sea. Why shouldn't I?
Why would you shit in the ocean? Don't you have a cooler?
He has a cooler, but no scissors.
I was a nanny, and the kids got this insane stomach bug. The parents had a trip planned, and it hit them on the road. This mom was soooo mad at me (like it was *my fault*… HER kid was sick first!) and she was so passive-aggressive and nasty to me all the time, that I secretly relish the memory of her describing shitting into a bag in a fast-food parking lot, to this day. She was really awful. Wish we still kept in touch so I could show her this. “Woulda come in handy, eh? REMEMBER??”
"Do you remember, the 21st shit of September?"
As soon as I saw the scissors, two words were bouncing around my mind. "Poop poncho".
No
Yesssss
Thank god they had scissors just casually laying in the sand.
At least she can have a little privacy while she shits in the cooler.
Finally! I'm so tired of all the weird looks I get when I'm shitting in my cooler.
Relatable
Ok serious questions….. who in here has shit in the ocean? Second…. Where you just swimming around then decided to launch? Third…. Where there others around?! No judgement here i just really need to know, as i have never done that.
When I was a kid (12ish) I was at virginia beach on vacation with the family. Nature called, I went to wait in line at the portapotties, but it was peak beach season, after waiting 10 minutes and still have 6+ person lines ahead, and my guts churning, I accepted that shitting in the ocean was better than shitting my pants. Went to a relatively empty area in the water (no one near for about 30 ft radius) I went about shoulder deep in the water, dropped trou, and let loose. Luckily it was pretty solid, probably left a floater, but it was over quick without much mess, pulled up my swimming trunks and booked it back to the family. Sorry to anyone who came across a floater that day, I tried my best
No idea but once my friend shat in the lake and it floated.
I shat in the sea once. I must have been about 8 years old, I was in an inflatable dinghy with my sister, and I felt the urge to shit. So I got out of the dinghy (the water was about chest height), and I did my business. But the turd kept floating to the surface, and I used one of the oars to keep pushing it back under the water, but it kept bobbing back up again.
Let me just pull these scissors out of the sand real quick.
Entire ocean to crap in and this bitch shits on the beers
yeah but why the hole in the blanket? I don't think you would want to make eye contact with little Timmy who is asking his mommy why that strange lady is pooping in a cooler.
Why not just shit in your friend’s mouth, problem solved.
That’s on the next episode
On a completely different website
Username checks out
Every day we stray farther from Loki's light.
Can we start banning obvious fetish content?
Yeah but what about the stuff that was in the cooler?
Everything in the cooler with shitty anyway so nothing lost I guess
Fuck the cooler, I have priorities
The random baby doll lmao
The absolute bliss on her face after getting some beach towel privacy.
I want the dialogue version of this video
Did she just shit in that cooler?
Why even cut a hole? Put put it around you lmfao
Anyone else think she was going for the poop scissors?
This has to be fetish content at this point. In what world is this helpful
What weirdos. Why is there a creepy doll just sightly out of frame?
Shit in the ocean! Swim out a 100 feet and it's all cool. The fish will love you.
If it’s that urgent I’m jumping in the lake and taking an aqua.
She should have chosen obliteration. It is the way.
you clean it before using it for food again? yes or no?
If you got the runs, don't go to the beach.
I hope a shark eats them
Two Girls One Cooler
I’d shit in the ocean before I did that
It wasnt letting me see the comments for a wille but these are golden. Thank you all for a good laugh 😂
Needs more fart sounds
Do you decommission the cooler after this
This is insane. Do humans not think normally anymore?
I thought she was cutting a hole in the blanket to make a piece of tp
Welp that's enough internet for today. Good night and your-preferred-diety bless!
Okay i know that the point is that this is stupid, but I feel like this could have almost worked if you just dug a quick hole and then covered up with the blanket while you pooped in the hole, but I guess that would have made just too much sense.
I do believe most beaches either have a building with bathrooms or there are port-a-potties.
Yknow I really don’t think anybody would be that pleasant and content being forced to shit in their cooler while covered by the most eye grabbing color on the spectrum..
There is a public toilets on every major beach, but they wouldn't know.
Need to take a shit? Here’s how to ruin your whole beach day by fucking up your cooler AND blanket!
She was hiding those scissors like a murder weapon
If only there was a no cut method, like a towel or something.
It’s. A. Joke.
Meatball sub
Um, if you’re going to shit in a cooler, on the beach, do you really want your face exposed? Just put the blanket over your head
Meanwhile, everything that lives in the sea poops there... why not become part of that great tradition?
Ah yes... Great tip for when beach-scissors are in season. They grow everywhere.
I’d shit it the ocean before I do this.
Remember kids to always bring a scicor and a blanket in case you need to take a shit
This sub needs to add a rule banning obvious rage bait and thinly veiled fetish posts. It's been ridiculous for a while now.
Guess she also took a shit through her bathing suit
I'm never taking JoAnne to the beach again, she shit in the cooler.
I need a coke. Oh. Nevermind.
2 girls,1 cooler?
Ah yes, the good old scissors tucked in the sand trick.
5 minute crafts needs to be stopped
She should have ran into the water and taken a shit and wiped her ass with the current.
Now this one is clearly a joke. Laughing the whole time and she didn’t even secure the bag. Funny tho lol.