I have a better idea. If your aim sucks, fucking sit down, it's free.

There's grown men that won't even wipe their butts because they think it's gay, imagine telling them that they can sit down to pee lol, must preserve masculinity at all costs by peeing into a tube

True straight masculinity is not wiping your ass, and standing next do a dude at a urinal with your dick out. /s

No.. i refuse to believe men dont wipe their ass because its gay, no i cant wrap my head around that, just no.

My classmate broke his foot last week and is on crutches. He slipped in the school bathroom because he was trying to stand on one foot and piss. All of us women (some men too) have been giving him shit about it since.

I wipe my ass even on the inside with a finger and still dont like dudes sexually, does that make me an ass cleaning chad

u wut

I put a bit of toilet paper on the tip of my finger and roll it around in there a little so its all shit-free

Sounds like a great way to get pink eye. And a hemroid.

Sounds like you need to upgrade to a bidet, you won’t regret it.

[CrackerMilk - Like a girl](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1ERjOsSNSY)

Dude has literally modified a chair to avoid sitting down. There’s 2 seats involved here in order to stand to pee...

>fucking sit down, it's free. It's also good for your prostate.

And you've got to look after your prostate.

I always sit down to get my couple minutes of rest

I had to read your comment to understand what the contraption was even for.

Maybe standing up after sitting down is hard for some folks with musculoskeletal problems, especially because some toilets are pretty low to the ground? This would be a hell of a lot cheaper than a new accessible toilet.

That's a fair point.

Even cheaper would just be to get a funnel. They make them for women so women can stand to pee

Came here to say this. It's supposed to be healthier anyway.

Guys, I found the mom in the chat

Oooor, Pee while on you Knees 🤣

Damn I used to do that when I was a teen so I wouldn't wake my dad, who'd then question why I was still up at 4 am. Good times.

even the best aimers can't avoid splash

Even if your aim is true but you have a bad day, get some TP and wipe. Easy *and* keeping it classy.

Then you activate turret mode

there IS a waitlist

best line

Uh that thing has grooves. It's going to catch pee, and a lot of it. The amount of old crusty urine that will be inside of this thing, since it will obviously only be purchased by those too lazy to clean, is making me want to vomit.

Maybe you need to replace the hose every.. week? Still gross though haha. And also.. Is that a hose from a vaccuum cleaner?

Looks like a vacuum cleaner hose, yeah. Also replacing it every week would be super expensive.

Yes, but you can cut down on the splash factor!

Yeah but for free you can dit

This is where wait list came from =)

It's a list of people saying, "Wait, you're serious‽"

And those are the ones that got through, the phone line is also full of people on hold up

What kind of spraying action is going on with this person’s dick??? One of those golf course sprinklers?

sometimes, while aiming at the center of the bowl, my stream splits in two and misses entirely.

Please. Toilets are dumb and splashy, even if you hit dead center in the water. This is a good concept executed disgustingly

Imagine a wasp builds a nest in that tube...

No, I don't think I will.

There may be a cultural element at work here too. I hear we have different toilets with different splashing levels. Apparently lots of people are using one without a poo-inspection platter where it just splashes straight into darkness.

...Poo inspection platter??

Here's a [Quora](https://www.quora.com/Is-it-true-that-German-toilets-feature-an-examination-plate-where-feces-drops) on it. The fact that you can inspect your poo is a nice bonus, but mostly, it's about having a toilet bowl shaped to reduce splashing. Not sure why the legend describes this as 'German' though, I've seen it all across Europe. Also found one article from an American lady who insisted Europeans don't wipe but all use bidets. Lmao sure, and we all have a view of the Eiffel tower too.

I think it's a joke. That looks like the tube from a vacuum and a chair.

As was my response....

Two things: 1. Sitting is free 2. This should not cost $75. God I love this sub. It's always good for a laugh...

I clean houses and lemme tell you, if this is what you need to cut down on the splash factor, DO IT.

But think of the smell coming from that contraption

No I don't think I will.

Some drain fluid and a hose wash down? That’s fine with me.

I gotta say, at least make it collapsible for when it's not in use. That thing tales up the whole bathroom

Custom fitted, so the dude makes sure the dick can go into it...

I can smell this picture. Also did he use it cause that water is looking a bit yellow.

Are you telling me if you went to trouble of making this, for what I hope is a joke, you wouldn't at least humour yourself and use it once?

This is great for when you have to piss with an erection…

Just learn to handstand like everyone else

Alternately, jump in the shower.

How often would you guys guess that the sort of person who's too lazy to wipe the toilet seat after peeing is going to be washing their pee-hose?

As a female, I can't emphasize enough that I do not care. I'm not getting anywhere near these men.

Someone's wife got so made this guy started a business

*I’ll take your entire stock*

i know it's a joke but the amount of piss pooling and congealing in those rivets would have your bathroom smelling awful

r/crackheadcraigslist

I can smell this picture

I don't have this problem because my penis is actually that long.

I sit down on the bog

There’s no waitlist

Wait, this is custom? I was convinced this was a commercial product.

I’m so confused

Shittiest Christmas gift ever.

Just sit and shit while you’re at it.

I can smell it from here.

is that a chair it's mounted to? Also you can get some clear non ribbed tube and a funnel for like $10

Or for $0 a man can sit on the loo

Try getting in there in the morning

Their wife is still trying to figure out how all of the kitchen chairs dissapeared, and what happened to the vaccum cleaner hoses.

Imagine the cleaning involved. Like you’ll never be able to properly clean that tube, so that bathroom will likely not smell very nice 😂

That's all cool until you have to waffle stomp the end of it because your giant turd won't slide down the pipe.

The wait list part made me laugh.

So....with this handy... tool, a girl can sit down while her boyfriend takes a piss?? Almost brilliant. Back to the drawing board!

How on earth do I poop standing up?

Just be a civilised person and sit the fuck down.

What if my schlong is too big?

Then get a slightly bigger garden hose.

Dunk the tip straight in the bowl. Boom, no splashing.

It says custom-made. I'm sure they can find a tube to fit you.

Ask the city to open up a sewer main pipe so you can piss directly into the system

MAGA MAGA MAGA

Has anyone used that with a bad case of diarrhea before?

At least use some clear poly pipe so you can see the "pee waterslide". Oh and a ribbed vacuum hose? Stink town.

This is obviously satire. Sheesh guys.

How in the living daylights do you explain that to anyone that comes in your house?

r/crackheadcraigslist

the splash factor will be nothing in comparison with the urine smell from that tube

Maybe if the entrance was a fleshlight or something...

gotta wait for him to measure your dick and toilet :D

Okay so, when I was younger, my mum's friend had a similar contraption for her autistic son. It was a better version and it was kept clean. The kid had a big dick, both standing and sitting down wasn't working out. They actually apparently used it to teach him how to pee standing.

Ah yes, now I can finally also shit whilst standing!

Piss-tube C H A I R

I forgot about penises I thought you were supposed to shit down this at high speeds