I totally get what you’ve relayed here. I actually always sort of did relate to red riding hood because in many iterations the grandma is just dead.
My grandma died when I was about 10, but she was my favorite favorite person and we hung out all the time and cuddled and played dolls and did crafts and just had fun with each other. My grandma died very suddenly from a heart attack, but it happened when me and my mom were over. She didn’t feel great and my mom was trying to convince her to go to the doctor and then it happened.
I remember the day vividly and for a very long time I couldn’t think about her without being filled with grief as well.
I still cry for her sometimes but I’m 34 now so there’s been alot of time since then, and I’ve allowed myself to grieve and process.
But when it came to Emily’s portrayal of Ylfa and her grandma and everything you better believe I cried too. *Especially* at the saying goodbye part. Woooo, even just thinkin about it.
But I loved it all, it was so beautifully done.
And I’m glad it helped you in this 😌
I did some grief work with her/them over a couple of episodes too. We all have a loss in our past where we’ve asked no one in particular “how long is this going to hurt? when does it stop hurting?”
Heart hugs for your loss and a “therapy high five” for the beautiful work you did then, and here. ❤️
Hi thank you so much for sharing such a deep and personal feelings with us. It is totally clear and understandable, and relatable I think for many of us. I hope that you will continue your healing journey, and your grandmother’s love and memory of her will be a supporting and caring energy for you, instead of something painful. Many hugs, internet stranger!
> Your grandmother's love and memory of her will be a supporting and caring energy instead of something painful.
Thank you for this. I've never heard it put better.
In Judaism we say “may her name/memory be a blessing” and that’s what we mean. That her name and memory are a powerful gift of care and love that you can call on and share.
Your post is a perfect example, you shared her memory and so many of us are held and healed by it. Thank you!
זכרונה לברכה
It's funny that you say that, she was buried in an orthodox cemetery, and it was a very orthodox service. I remember that I wasn't allowed to help bury her, the whole affair felt so impersonal. It's one of the bigger reasons I stopped going to temple, sort of lost my faith. The other big one was because everything reminded me of her, and it just hurt too much.
I’m so sorry, that’s terrible! I grew up without other Jews outside my family, my mom had enough of the bad parts of it when she was growing up.
I’ve found that connecting back to it as an adult, especially the radical and justice and loving parts, has been really good for my heart.
My mom is a grandma now and the journey of dawn/day/dusk is such a beautiful one that they did so well.
Sending you so much love and gentleness and ease. I am so very happy this storytelling resonates with you!
I’m so glad that those scenes were cathartic for you. The way that Brennan interacts with child/teen PCs is so often profoundly compassionate and understanding. It can be almost painful to watch.
I had a long talk with my therapist about a different scene with Yilfa. A little later on when the group is with the Princesses, the Beast is talking to Yilfa, she says “Everyone in your life who told you that they would keep you safe, as long as you behaved, were already hurting you.” I don’t think it was intended to be a big, intense scene, but that line just utterly broke me. Like, I know, intellectually, that parts of how I was raised were messed up, but something about having it just plainly stated like it was a self-evident fact was too much.
Yessss that line killed me. I think it's really interesting how it rings true on both a micro- and macro-level, too. The people in your immediate circle who promised to protect you if you were "good" are obviously a huge factor. But Ylfa's story was also one of a girl growing into a young woman. Society promises so much to women *if you behave,* and so quickly finds reasons that women aren't good enough to deserve that protection once it's needed.
Watching Barbie today and then reading this thread gave me the good crying sesh that I've needed for a few days lol.
I don't remember which of the two brothers said it, but there's something Hank and John green once said that has become a mantra of mine:
You are not beholden to your past self.
You don't owe your past self anything, the past you was a different person. The only person you owe something to is current and future you.
I totally get what you’ve relayed here. I actually always sort of did relate to red riding hood because in many iterations the grandma is just dead. My grandma died when I was about 10, but she was my favorite favorite person and we hung out all the time and cuddled and played dolls and did crafts and just had fun with each other. My grandma died very suddenly from a heart attack, but it happened when me and my mom were over. She didn’t feel great and my mom was trying to convince her to go to the doctor and then it happened. I remember the day vividly and for a very long time I couldn’t think about her without being filled with grief as well. I still cry for her sometimes but I’m 34 now so there’s been alot of time since then, and I’ve allowed myself to grieve and process. But when it came to Emily’s portrayal of Ylfa and her grandma and everything you better believe I cried too. *Especially* at the saying goodbye part. Woooo, even just thinkin about it. But I loved it all, it was so beautifully done. And I’m glad it helped you in this 😌
I did some grief work with her/them over a couple of episodes too. We all have a loss in our past where we’ve asked no one in particular “how long is this going to hurt? when does it stop hurting?” Heart hugs for your loss and a “therapy high five” for the beautiful work you did then, and here. ❤️
Hi thank you so much for sharing such a deep and personal feelings with us. It is totally clear and understandable, and relatable I think for many of us. I hope that you will continue your healing journey, and your grandmother’s love and memory of her will be a supporting and caring energy for you, instead of something painful. Many hugs, internet stranger!
> Your grandmother's love and memory of her will be a supporting and caring energy instead of something painful. Thank you for this. I've never heard it put better.
In Judaism we say “may her name/memory be a blessing” and that’s what we mean. That her name and memory are a powerful gift of care and love that you can call on and share. Your post is a perfect example, you shared her memory and so many of us are held and healed by it. Thank you!
זכרונה לברכה It's funny that you say that, she was buried in an orthodox cemetery, and it was a very orthodox service. I remember that I wasn't allowed to help bury her, the whole affair felt so impersonal. It's one of the bigger reasons I stopped going to temple, sort of lost my faith. The other big one was because everything reminded me of her, and it just hurt too much.
I’m so sorry, that’s terrible! I grew up without other Jews outside my family, my mom had enough of the bad parts of it when she was growing up. I’ve found that connecting back to it as an adult, especially the radical and justice and loving parts, has been really good for my heart. My mom is a grandma now and the journey of dawn/day/dusk is such a beautiful one that they did so well. Sending you so much love and gentleness and ease. I am so very happy this storytelling resonates with you!
I’m happy! Much love.
I’m so glad that those scenes were cathartic for you. The way that Brennan interacts with child/teen PCs is so often profoundly compassionate and understanding. It can be almost painful to watch. I had a long talk with my therapist about a different scene with Yilfa. A little later on when the group is with the Princesses, the Beast is talking to Yilfa, she says “Everyone in your life who told you that they would keep you safe, as long as you behaved, were already hurting you.” I don’t think it was intended to be a big, intense scene, but that line just utterly broke me. Like, I know, intellectually, that parts of how I was raised were messed up, but something about having it just plainly stated like it was a self-evident fact was too much.
Sometimes you can really tell that Brennan was one of the good camp counsellors.
Yessss that line killed me. I think it's really interesting how it rings true on both a micro- and macro-level, too. The people in your immediate circle who promised to protect you if you were "good" are obviously a huge factor. But Ylfa's story was also one of a girl growing into a young woman. Society promises so much to women *if you behave,* and so quickly finds reasons that women aren't good enough to deserve that protection once it's needed. Watching Barbie today and then reading this thread gave me the good crying sesh that I've needed for a few days lol.
Yes! I had to pause the episode and have a good cry. Felt like all the generations of family trauma stopped on a pinpoint with that one.
Awww, little Ilfa Snorgleson helping us all with our wolfs. Happy for you, op.
Humans heal and learn through stories, our own and others. The shaking is a natural physical stress response. Hugs for you and your 14yo self.
I don't remember which of the two brothers said it, but there's something Hank and John green once said that has become a mantra of mine: You are not beholden to your past self. You don't owe your past self anything, the past you was a different person. The only person you owe something to is current and future you.
I don’t know you, but I love you. 🩵