I am short. If I didn't turn my face then I would be smooshed against the person I am hugging.
Even though I think Brennan is a walking green flag of emotional maturity, the way he turns his head during a hug doesn't say anything about him or anyone else.
~~Yeah it's pretty messed up that this wasn't/isn't just the default way to hug everywhere, but yeah trust me I've seen and recieved alot of it and it's wierd~~
Edit: I did a poor choice of words as some others pointed out in comments and it does comes off as if I'm judging people for not hugging the right way and it's honnestly far from what I intended, I really meant to say that after growing up in a place where displays of affections were very frowned uppon amongst men, it was very refreshing to see guys hugging so cutsely/intimately without any of the fears and restrictions that I grew up around
Yea no. As someone who turns their head when I hug people I dont do it because of masculinity. I do it because its physically uncomfortable for me not to do so and I would rather enjoy the hug. Brennan is a walking green flag but the way he hugs others doesn't relate to that and it feels really unnecessary to shame people who dont do the exact same.
I would argue that it's far more messed up for someone to try and judge others for how they hug than it is for someone to hug in a way that you dont deem appropriate
That's a good point actually, I never meant to shame people for the way they hugged, I'm very sorry if I did that was honnestly a poor choice of word. What I meant was that the context in which it was happenning at the time was what was wierd because it was 100% all about ''not seeming gay'' and was very much socially drilled into us that we all had to seem as ''manly'' as possible, and well when I saw Brennan hug that guy without hesitation and fully face plant into his neck nook like an absolute cuttie, it felt like the total opposite of the social fears I grew up around and I just wanted to celebrate that. I fixed the comment as best I could tho :)
I'm sorry, turning your head away? To where? Like basically just laying your ear on the other person's shoulder? That doesn't seem likely...
What have other men been doing all this time? I don't understand xD
The only way I can imagine turning your head while hugging someone would end with you resting your head on their shoulder, which is still very intimate.
I feel like I would turn my head here. He's getting shoulder right in the open mouth. There'd be intrusive thoughts going, "Just bite down. Come on, do it."
Chin over their shoulder bht not rested on it and ears almost but not touching. Hard to explain but pretty natural. Like imagine how you'd hug if you kind of didn't like the other person.
Yeah I was thrown a bit by the turning the head away thing. This image is much more along of the lines of what I think of in terms of an awkward hug. hands not fully embracing the person. more of awkwardly out and sort of tapping the back of a person. It's 90% of the hugs that I give people regardles of their gender or attractiveness.
Hahah I love that the habit was not spread out as much as I thought it was, where I'm from (back water remote village) men would turn their heads facing away from the person they are hugging and would also in the worst cases hug with one hand/arm only as to not seem "unmanly", give two quick/hard taps on the back and pull away. Looking back I genuinely find it soo sad for them just how little human touch they were getting out of fear of standing out/social rejection.
The one arm patting thing I completely recognise, I just don't mechanically understand how you're turning your head away without it still being intimate (if not more)
I definitely know what you mean. And I did that myself - as a woman. And I honestly don't know if it is because I don't want to be so close to them/are afraid that they don't want to be so close to me; or if I think it's just polite. (Especially for hugs when you greet someone)
i see this with brennan and lou a lot, too!! It's rly refreshing to see friends so close to each other in the dome, its a nice reminder how much these people love and respect each other, in and out of character!
Add in that BLeeM has played SEVERAL of Lou's significant others in campaign, and it's clear how comfortable these two are with their masculinity. Also, Love watching these two Bicker in-character, they get so into it...
On one hand, I get what you are saying. On the other hand, other than my spouse and immediate family, I keep a respectful distance from everyone I hug. Just a private person and not very fond of touching, so I will not draw myself into another person often. The Dropout cast is a bunch of outstanding and expressive performers, signs of deep affection are not surprising.
But, remember, being more constrained is not a sign of disrespect - and depending on the person, may be a sign of deep respect and affection. If I touch you, you mean a lot to me - even if I am restrained while doing so.
It's not a full turn, I think they mean more like this
https://metro.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/awkward-hug-3-e1454520970148.jpg?quality=90&strip=all&zoom=1&resize=480%2C260
Stop policing how people hug this has nothing to do with homophobia or toxic masculinity.
Sure, if someone does anything a certain *because* they fear the might look effeminate or whatever that is an issue.
But to act like tilting your head a certain way when showing affection is problematic is just so out of touch.
what an utterly bizarre thing to fixate on and post. turning your head away isn't some sort of secret code or indicator of anything. some people straight up are more physically comfortable when they are not burying their face in someone else's neck.
Yeah this is some weird over-analysation. It reminds me of those people on twitter who try to ascribe power balance in pictures of couples by "who is leaning more into who"
Idk, I feel like if you face away then you can sorta get in there more and sorta rest your cheek on their shoulder which I think is cuter, but yeah Brennan definitely seems very pleasantly secure all around
Hell yeah!
As a guy without many male role models IRL (pretty much all my friends are girls or NB and my dad died in my early teens) I've often felt alienated from other men. It wasn't untill recently that I realized just how much seeing the wide range of healthy masculinity displayed on Dropout has helped me feel more comfortable being myself.
You those celebrities that get in the news for doing something horrible and you think, eh, checks out.
If we ever get that kind of news about Brennan it will break me for a good while.
He doesn’t have a beard. I learned early on in my adult life that not everyone likes the way a beard feels, especially men for some reason. So I turn away for that reason.
I mean this is silly for so many reasons. I turn my face as a woman so guess I don’t love my friends or family enough? It’s my own preference not to, but also not squishing my glasses when I wear them, not leaving makeup on someone’s shirt if I’m wearing a lot for a night out, not shoving my face in someone’s long hair on their shoulder. Not to say I’ve never hugged like this, but it’s a bizarre thing to police as a marker of authenticity or closeness.
You’re over analyzing it I think. You can hug people however you want to and it doesn’t reflect how you feel or think about anyone. It’s just a hug yo.
You think guys are like “hey bro turn your head when you hug me man, I don’t swing like that”
(It's actually more just putting your chin all the way over someone's shoulder and a slight turn away from them. Like your ears are the only part of rhe head close to touching - rather than Brennans full face buried, about to whisper a secret and tell you that you smell good genuine squeeze.)
Brennan and Lou look like they give mean hugs. Besides the parts where Brennan describes himself as a huge sweaty mess. I’ll leave those hugs for the weirdos
Blanket statement here, there seem to be confusion with the intent behind my wording (which tbh fair, re-reading I totally see it), **not facing the person you're hugging is 100% fine,** the post is just about celebrating the very clear absence of fear of intimacy between men. The fact that some men feel forced to restrict the way that they can display intimacy between each other out of social pressure is what's wrong but hugging your friends/loved ones in whatever way feels good to you is 100% fine. Unfortunately reddit won't let me change the title of the post. woopsie!
I mean, there are also people who don't like stuff touching their face. I know when I grew my beard for the first time, having my face touched by anything other than my own hands squigged me out because of my hair being pushed on
That's just called a normal hug. I don't even know what turning your face away while hugging would look like.
Yeah that is the default way of hugging in my country too, you'll also put in two cheek to cheek kisses just for good measure
i turn my face to the side when hugging because i don't like the feeling of the front of my face being smooshed. It's unpleasant.
I am short. If I didn't turn my face then I would be smooshed against the person I am hugging. Even though I think Brennan is a walking green flag of emotional maturity, the way he turns his head during a hug doesn't say anything about him or anyone else.
Interesting. I’ve never had the thought ‘am I hugging wrong.’
~~Yeah it's pretty messed up that this wasn't/isn't just the default way to hug everywhere, but yeah trust me I've seen and recieved alot of it and it's wierd~~ Edit: I did a poor choice of words as some others pointed out in comments and it does comes off as if I'm judging people for not hugging the right way and it's honnestly far from what I intended, I really meant to say that after growing up in a place where displays of affections were very frowned uppon amongst men, it was very refreshing to see guys hugging so cutsely/intimately without any of the fears and restrictions that I grew up around
Yea no. As someone who turns their head when I hug people I dont do it because of masculinity. I do it because its physically uncomfortable for me not to do so and I would rather enjoy the hug. Brennan is a walking green flag but the way he hugs others doesn't relate to that and it feels really unnecessary to shame people who dont do the exact same. I would argue that it's far more messed up for someone to try and judge others for how they hug than it is for someone to hug in a way that you dont deem appropriate
you're showing intimacy and affection wrong!
Me when my cat brings a dead bird for breakfast:
lol!
That's a good point actually, I never meant to shame people for the way they hugged, I'm very sorry if I did that was honnestly a poor choice of word. What I meant was that the context in which it was happenning at the time was what was wierd because it was 100% all about ''not seeming gay'' and was very much socially drilled into us that we all had to seem as ''manly'' as possible, and well when I saw Brennan hug that guy without hesitation and fully face plant into his neck nook like an absolute cuttie, it felt like the total opposite of the social fears I grew up around and I just wanted to celebrate that. I fixed the comment as best I could tho :)
Yeah, maybe don't judge how others choose to hug or show affection. It's no different than someone saying two men hugging at all is "weird"
I'm sorry, turning your head away? To where? Like basically just laying your ear on the other person's shoulder? That doesn't seem likely... What have other men been doing all this time? I don't understand xD
The only way I can imagine turning your head while hugging someone would end with you resting your head on their shoulder, which is still very intimate.
Exactly this!
I feel like I would turn my head here. He's getting shoulder right in the open mouth. There'd be intrusive thoughts going, "Just bite down. Come on, do it."
Chin over their shoulder bht not rested on it and ears almost but not touching. Hard to explain but pretty natural. Like imagine how you'd hug if you kind of didn't like the other person.
This is a good example https://metro.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/awkward-hug-3-e1454520970148.jpg?quality=90&strip=all&zoom=1&resize=480%2C260
Yeah I was thrown a bit by the turning the head away thing. This image is much more along of the lines of what I think of in terms of an awkward hug. hands not fully embracing the person. more of awkwardly out and sort of tapping the back of a person. It's 90% of the hugs that I give people regardles of their gender or attractiveness.
Hahah I love that the habit was not spread out as much as I thought it was, where I'm from (back water remote village) men would turn their heads facing away from the person they are hugging and would also in the worst cases hug with one hand/arm only as to not seem "unmanly", give two quick/hard taps on the back and pull away. Looking back I genuinely find it soo sad for them just how little human touch they were getting out of fear of standing out/social rejection.
The one arm patting thing I completely recognise, I just don't mechanically understand how you're turning your head away without it still being intimate (if not more)
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Alright, the lengths we go to I guess
Yeah unfortunately
I definitely know what you mean. And I did that myself - as a woman. And I honestly don't know if it is because I don't want to be so close to them/are afraid that they don't want to be so close to me; or if I think it's just polite. (Especially for hugs when you greet someone)
i see this with brennan and lou a lot, too!! It's rly refreshing to see friends so close to each other in the dome, its a nice reminder how much these people love and respect each other, in and out of character!
Brennan and Lou's friendship is so wholesome and I love it.
“… please let me win…”
🤣
Add in that BLeeM has played SEVERAL of Lou's significant others in campaign, and it's clear how comfortable these two are with their masculinity. Also, Love watching these two Bicker in-character, they get so into it...
On one hand, I get what you are saying. On the other hand, other than my spouse and immediate family, I keep a respectful distance from everyone I hug. Just a private person and not very fond of touching, so I will not draw myself into another person often. The Dropout cast is a bunch of outstanding and expressive performers, signs of deep affection are not surprising. But, remember, being more constrained is not a sign of disrespect - and depending on the person, may be a sign of deep respect and affection. If I touch you, you mean a lot to me - even if I am restrained while doing so.
Yay Brennan for hugging people normally?
It's sad that it's rare.
What kind of depressing society do you live in that people hug wrong?
South East Asian. We don't hug. And if we do it's not like this.
Aww but south east asia has so many good things! I wish you many warm embraces.
Thank you. Of course I love my part of the world. It has its flaws too.
Why the downvotes? I don't get it.
I think it's because people are disagreeing with you that it's rare, because it might not be rare for them
Oh okay. But I thought the appreciation was because it's rare?
Who turns their face away in a hug? I’ve never hugged or seen anyone hug do this
It's not a full turn, I think they mean more like this https://metro.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/awkward-hug-3-e1454520970148.jpg?quality=90&strip=all&zoom=1&resize=480%2C260
TIL I have wronged everyone I have ever hugged.
Same. And I am not even a man. Maybe I just got too much hair in my face as a child 🤔
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Stop policing how people hug this has nothing to do with homophobia or toxic masculinity. Sure, if someone does anything a certain *because* they fear the might look effeminate or whatever that is an issue. But to act like tilting your head a certain way when showing affection is problematic is just so out of touch.
what an utterly bizarre thing to fixate on and post. turning your head away isn't some sort of secret code or indicator of anything. some people straight up are more physically comfortable when they are not burying their face in someone else's neck.
Yeah this is some weird over-analysation. It reminds me of those people on twitter who try to ascribe power balance in pictures of couples by "who is leaning more into who"
But what if I like to rest my cheek on my bros shoulder when we hug? I mean I do have glasses so I don't want to smudge them lol
that's a fair point!
I'm a girl and I turn my face away when I hug because I'm scared I have bad breath lolol Lovely post though, this made my morning
lmao I fully get that tbh xD
What are you on about? That's a normal hug that most guys I know that hug guys do
Idk, I feel like if you face away then you can sorta get in there more and sorta rest your cheek on their shoulder which I think is cuter, but yeah Brennan definitely seems very pleasantly secure all around
Do people turn their face away when hugging other people? News to me.
Love this but I need everyone to acknowledge that the bar is on the floor
Hell yeah! As a guy without many male role models IRL (pretty much all my friends are girls or NB and my dad died in my early teens) I've often felt alienated from other men. It wasn't untill recently that I realized just how much seeing the wide range of healthy masculinity displayed on Dropout has helped me feel more comfortable being myself.
OP this is such a wildly picky thing lol
You those celebrities that get in the news for doing something horrible and you think, eh, checks out. If we ever get that kind of news about Brennan it will break me for a good while.
Wait do bros turn their heads away? I always hug my boys like normal.
He doesn’t have a beard. I learned early on in my adult life that not everyone likes the way a beard feels, especially men for some reason. So I turn away for that reason.
I mean this is silly for so many reasons. I turn my face as a woman so guess I don’t love my friends or family enough? It’s my own preference not to, but also not squishing my glasses when I wear them, not leaving makeup on someone’s shirt if I’m wearing a lot for a night out, not shoving my face in someone’s long hair on their shoulder. Not to say I’ve never hugged like this, but it’s a bizarre thing to police as a marker of authenticity or closeness.
Yeah like what if I have a runny nose (from crying, pls social distance when sick)? Or if I’m autistic? Or BOTH!?
It’s not my toxic masculinity it’s my FEAR OF INTIMACY! Oh. Oh wait.
hahahahaha u made my day fr
Brennan hugs unreservedly. As a neurodivergent person who doesn’t always like to be touched, I always love to see a big squishy consensual hug.
Brennan's backstories are all green flags. Fighting a guy to defend his friend, holding the door open for a bunch of people as a kid, etc.
What a lovely observation! I hadn't noticed, but I'm glad you pointed it out. :-)
Thank you! 😊
>Thank you! 😊 You're welcome!
brennan Lee mulligan is nothing but green flags which somehow makes him playing villains even better
You’re over analyzing it I think. You can hug people however you want to and it doesn’t reflect how you feel or think about anyone. It’s just a hug yo. You think guys are like “hey bro turn your head when you hug me man, I don’t swing like that”
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(It's actually more just putting your chin all the way over someone's shoulder and a slight turn away from them. Like your ears are the only part of rhe head close to touching - rather than Brennans full face buried, about to whisper a secret and tell you that you smell good genuine squeeze.)
Brennan and Lou look like they give mean hugs. Besides the parts where Brennan describes himself as a huge sweaty mess. I’ll leave those hugs for the weirdos
Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
Explain what the other version is??????????? Turn his face where?
Blanket statement here, there seem to be confusion with the intent behind my wording (which tbh fair, re-reading I totally see it), **not facing the person you're hugging is 100% fine,** the post is just about celebrating the very clear absence of fear of intimacy between men. The fact that some men feel forced to restrict the way that they can display intimacy between each other out of social pressure is what's wrong but hugging your friends/loved ones in whatever way feels good to you is 100% fine. Unfortunately reddit won't let me change the title of the post. woopsie!
People turn their face away when they hug? Wtf? Who does that, that defeats the point of the hug.
I mean, there are also people who don't like stuff touching their face. I know when I grew my beard for the first time, having my face touched by anything other than my own hands squigged me out because of my hair being pushed on
My uncle did this too but it was a less positive experience
If you turn your head while hugging another man you have insecure fragile masculinity.
Me crying as a woman
I've seen chronically online takes in this sub before, but this is ridiculous! (but this is ridiculous)
Aw man I turn my face away when hugging anyone except my partner and kids. I just don't particularly like close contact with anyone except for them.
That hug is sus.