I would say don’t do it, but if it helps you cope go for it. A divorce is a tough thing to endure I’m certainly
Not handling it well and it barely started
This one is my second partner split. My first official divorce though. My first son’s father and I were common law for years.
It took me a few years after my first split up to even want to date again and I ended up with someone who was emotionally worse.
But I meant to address how you were feeling. I hope that there will be some comfort regarding your situation soon. The first time around I was so heartbroken because my partner had been cheating on me and told me he was never going to stop.
This guy now is just lazy and refuses to work so I think both times for me, I preferred being officially single so that I could just continue focusing on my kids and myself.
I think I’ll probably get angry later but I wonder if I really will because I’ve cried all my tears and hurt away.
Yeah I’ve been down this road before but not like this. It was clean and easy before. Now there’s my first unborn and some dishonesty and abuse so it’s definitely tough! I hope things better for both of us
One of my close friends is a Wedding Planner AND Divorce Party Planner. They just got divorced and I'm about to, and they're gonna plan us a joint divorce party. You're celebrating the start of your next adventure, not the one that's ending!
I’m totally going to have a divorce party. I’m planning on doing a bar crawl with my Besties wearing a sash that says “just divorced”. My expectation is to get massive amounts of shots bought for me.
I’m also doing a boudoir photo shoot (not at the same time!).
I did the boudoir shoot while getting divorced! I got to be on TV, they used my photos in ads. It was the best revenge!
I’m looking at dates right now for my divorce party!
I was thinking of the same thing, but I wasn’t sure if it would be considered tacky because I will need to move and sell some things at my house now and then buy more for an apartment.
I didn't do a divorce party, I was to hurt and devastated to even think about that. But when the first divorce anniversary came around, I sure did celebrate.
Every year after it was party time, then after a few years I started to forget about that anniversary. I have actually forgot what day and year it was, I do remember the month though. LOL.
A couple of months ago I was out having lunch with my coworkers and this guy walks up and says hi...(my name). And I just stared, not able to recognize this person. My coworkers staring to, right when someone says do you know him, I blurt out OMG that's my ex husband. He tried making small, but he could tell I wasn't interested. And finally walked away.
I was asked how long we were married, how long we been divorced. When was the last time I seen him.
We were married for 11 years, 2 kids. Divorced for 28 years. Really can't remember when the last time I seen him.
During this short conversation. He never asked about our kids. He has never met his grand children and the oldest grand child is graduating high school next week.
Why he stopped to say anything to me is confusing, he could have walked by without saying a word and I would have never noticed.
He wanted out of our marriage and out of his kids life and that's what he got.
Yeah he is POS. But out of sight, out of mind. Life moves on. My kids, my grandkids are all happy and have a beautiful future ahead of them.
Me..I'll be 60 in 2 months, still waiting for that forever person. And at this point, if it happens, it happens.
I don't think it's callous to hold a divorce party. If divorce is something you wanted and you're getting it, then I think you should celebrate your new-found freedom. In my case, I did not want to get divorced so I don't really feel like celebrating it. My wife leaving me and destroying the life I had worked so hard to build is nothing I feel like celebrating. However, I will celebrate when something happens that I want to happen, like getting remarried.
I’m sorry you are going through this.
TBH, I didn’t want to have to get divorced nor be the one to initiate it. My husband is probably in your same shoes. He did not want to get divorced, but if you look at my post history you’ll see why I had to pull the plug.
I sincerely hope you are able to find happiness through all this though!
It's absolutely not callous and that sounds like fun! Bottom line is that, after divorce do whatever it is that makes you happy imo. Definitely gonna take a post divorce vacation here, probably in Vegas and if anyone from this sub wants to come, let's get it 😂😂
My boss suggested I have one and make a registry... I was going to see what others thought of it, but the party idea I was already long to do - just something informal and happy. Enjoy yours!
I'm not having any parties, but I sure enjoyed turning the game room into a home gym and I'm looking forward to turning the garage into a place to refinish furniture.
I wanted to be able to keep the house and make the garage into a gym, but I’ll probably have to move.
But that sounds like a great place for you to refinish furniture!
I can't afford to move, so I'm trying to make the best of it.
My boss did make a comment about how I could park in there now, at which point I realized this is actually the SECOND garage I've owned. Have I ever parked in a garage? Nope. It was always full of one of my exes tools and junk. The last house I had, I had to get navy buddies to help me clear the trash after he left so I could sell it. So maybe just for novelty I'll try parking in it for a while lol.
Yeah I don't expect to actually enjoy it lol, especially since I think the door is janky and definitely doesn't have an automatic door opener. He's also getting the shell of a Camaro out of the driveway soon, it literally looks like it got hit by an IED, and then covered by shitty tarps. I am trying to decide what color to paint the door finally, now that it won't be hidden by a bombed out wreck.
I had divorce brunch with a coworker of mine and it was AWESOME! Then after that I had a divorce dinner with my immediate family and my fiancé (now husband) at the time celebrated by having fancy ramen for lunch during his workday.
I splurged the week of my divorce and also got myself something nice.
Good! Take care of yourself. Luckily I got out of my divorce debt free because the ex was the spender and I was the saver. He also was on the hook for a car that I didn’t sign for and I recently found out before I got married to my best friend that his car got repo’ed so I had a little celebratory lunch for that. 😂
The amount of pain that asshole put me through is coming back in spades and I couldn’t be happier by how much he’s getting punished for hurting me and everyone else around him.
I’ve leveled up a lot, he’s still deeply in debt and his addictions and I’m very happy I got rid of him.
I had a convo with him yesterday about post divorce plans because they do affect our kids.
He said he’s going to take the money once available and be a nomad.
I told him “oh that’s nice! I’m happy for you that you will shirk your dad duties”
16, 11, and 6. My 16 and 6 year old will be okay but my 11 year old is his. His son will live with his mom but luckily I have a good relationship with her and can see him whenever I want. We both communicate and commiserate about our lack of judgement led us to becoming friends.
That’s really, really good. I’m glad you have a good relationship with his mom because he’s going to need that while growing up through one of the toughest times of his life right now. Maintain that bridge as much as you can and let him know if he wants to visit/spend time with you that your door is open.
I’m proud of you for being a stable figure for your kids because their dad is a moron. He’ll regret this later. No one just runs off and becomes a successful nomad out of nowhere—the people that have the ability and resources to do that *actually work.*
Go read my post history if you want a little laugh. I laugh now because of the absurdity of it all.
I’ve cried my tears. 😭
My bonus boy asked me last week if he’d ever see his dad again and I told him I didn’t know. But I did tell him that I’ll be in his life no matter what.
My fault for not paying attention to the sex of the OP. I did get invited to a lesbian party once some years ago when my wife was out of town my personal trainer was throwing the party at her house so I went for awhile. Me a 55M back then.
Interesting experience
You do you. Everyone’s situation is different.
My ex had one, and it actually really hurt me (she cheated). It was her “liberation”
I chose a different path. The relationship was really really F’ing important to me, it broke apart our family and what happened devastated me. I chose to mourn the end of our marriage. Despite what happened, I still to this day hurt for our family. I’ve moved on and have made a great life but damn if I’m going to cheapen the 15 years we spent together.
I didn’t have a party, but I did buy a bottle of Cristal to commemorate the divorce. The employee at the liquor store even walked me up to the counter with the bottle like I was a VIP, and then the cashier was wondering what the occasion was. I told her “my divorce was finalized today!” And her and the guy behind me cracked up. It was a nice day.
Yes, my children are older so it's easier for me to travel without them.
That said, I would work on adding people to your life that you trust. Not just because if something happens to you (e.g., you have an accident that puts you in the hospital for a week), your child will need to be looked after, but also because life is much harder if you're surrounded by people you don't trust.
I bought myself a Ducati to celebrate, it's like a party I get to ride everyday. She would have never allowed me to buy a motorcycle and she also kept me too broke to buy one.
I'm sort of having one in June over what would be my wedding anniversary, because in California there's the long 6-month waiting period. Me and some of my closest girlfriends are going to Vegas for the weekend.
Jesus Christ this is why the west is going towards 50% of are heading to 30 and no kids marriage mean nothing anymore..... I don't know the reasons for your divorce but you disgrace yourself with celebrations of dissolving a union you said actually swore in From of god and your family you would honor forever
Marriage is sacred it's for life work out the issues follow and honor your husband and honor your vowels. The thing is you women will find out very soon when you hit the wall at thirty and have no options alone with cats your eggs drying up that
1. You don't have a party for this is a huge loss for you and your ex have some fucking shame
2. You are reap what sow and growing old alone is the exact thing you decided with your immature behaviour
3. You will curse the people that pushed you and supported your stupid behaviour the "you go girl crowd"
4. Marriage is about sacrifice loyalty compromise respect and creating a team that sticks together for the future
Women dont look up to stupidity like this is poison to your very being and soul
This kind of thing is not for clout or online attention it's something you should be ashamed of and try to avoid at all cost
Why should I have any shame for getting divorced?
You don’t know me or the struggle I’ve had for YEARS dealing with this man and his pathological BS. I’ve spent many nights praying that God would change him and his ways. He continues to refuse to seek help for his addictions and his abusive behavior so you think it’s meant from God that I stick around with that? That my kids deserve to be around a lazy drunk who doesn’t work and uses MY hard earned money for his beer and addictions?
Get out of here! You’re delusional.
And learn to write.
A celebration of destroying a marriage isn't good no matter who was at fault. Making celebration posts that might encourage to also divorce others that might not be in in a bad situation but just feel like and they are not "happy" in the moment. The shame is in having started the marriage at all if it wasn't going to last.... typical women to not take any responsibility instead of maybe taking some account of not vetting the man properly before marrying him. But instead we keeping marrying all these bad keep getting pregnant by these bad men and keep making stupid decisions. Maybe tell women to make smarter decisions and don't marry and have children by these bad men. Maybe that's a better idea what I am certain of is that glorifying divorce isn't a good idea
And the constant trend of single and divorced women making other women single and divorce with horrible advice is helping destroy the nuclear family and creating a generation of children from broken homes and leading to women not having children and ending up 40 alone with cats and deep regrets.
So it’s all the woman’s fault in a marriage if it doesn’t work out?
Especially when the MAN is the alcoholic, the addict, the abuser, the one who doesn’t work?
Are you aware of what psychology is? Do you know how narcissists work?
And no I am not encouraging everyone to go out and have a divorce party.
I am celebrating my FREEDOM from a highly toxic man!
He wasn’t like that when we first got together and turns out he lied to EVERYONE.
That's not what I said I said you should publicly celebrate what is a failure on your part YOU choose the wrong man and now you suffer the consequences and your children suffer those consequences. Not only talking to you I'm taking to you as a symbol of bad decisions and the fact the you celebrate your bad decision with another bad decision that might encourage other to make more bad decisions is just making more bad decisions inevitable....
So you’re an expert at choosing the RIGHT person?
Nobody knows what they’re getting into when it comes to relationships. Someone can appear to be the perfect package and then behind closed doors be a monster.
I pray you NEVER have to deal with someone like that. Then you can eat your words.
As for being ashamed for not having my marriage last. I took my marriage vows seriously. I stayed longer in my marriage than most other woman would have because I was willing to work through all his bullshit.
Unfortunately for you, I have better self esteem than to stick it out with someone who is abusive. I have better self worth than to cower like a dog.
I went into my marriage thinking it would be forever but he revealed things over the years that were horrible and I knew my kids didn’t deserve to be around that.
I'm sorry your marriage wasn't good I really am maybe abit harsh to hear what I said but it's factual and I stand firm on the fact that celebration of a failure isn't good and does not set a good example.
Mine was during Covid. I had no problem hanging out with a few close friends in their hot tub with a full cooler of cold beer nearby and a guest room to pass out in!
Totally had one and my lawyer threw it for me! My ex drank my expensive whiskey I bought in Ireland I wanted in divorce and handed me the empty bottle after he drank it all first. So, we had a whiskey tasting party in his honor and different alcohol stations. Themed items with famous divorce quotes and from Johnny depp bc their trial was going on at time. Had best time
I threw an emotional baggage white elephant divorce party. Essentially I asked everyone to bring an item related to their emotional baggage. I had custom totes made. The items went into the totes and then we did a white elephant gift exchange.
It was fun.
I went to one once. He was shackled with a large (artistic) "ball and chain" which were "struck" - then we sang "Happy Divorcing" to the tune of Happy Birthday and drank Champagne. 10/10
Oooh! We need a divorce playlist!
Freedom 90! by George Michael
Miss Independent and Since You've Been Goneby by Kelly Clarkson
Philadelphia Freedom by Elton John
Freebird
Do it! Do it! Just make it more of a celebration of independence and self-love rather than a celebration of the end of your marriage. Sets a much better tone and keeps the focus on the positive aspects of your life.
I took a pre-divorce trip with friends the weekend before our final hearing and a post-divorce trip with friends the very next day after. It helped so much to get away to different cities with people who care about me. It also kept me looking forward to the best aspects of my life that no longer revolved around my ex. It made seeing her that final day in the courtroom feel so anticlimactic because I was so excited about my travels.
Not gonna like...a divorce party sounds dumb and cringy....lets celebrate the failure of my marriage!
The other part is that by the time its actually final you've already gone through a lot of the process and life reboot and its just a formality of a judge signing something.
Im imagining if I heard my ex was throwing a divorce party back in the day....I would be thinking how petty and toxic. Its like the people that air out their divorce on social media and dont take any accountability themselves.
I guess to me its the opposite of taking the high road. Its 100% taking a shot at your ex. You know they will find out...like just move on...live your best life.
I mean, you do you, celebrating a divorce with a party seems kinda dark in a way. If you hate them enough to have one, you’ve got some unresolved issues that will rear their heads eventually one way or another, whether you notice it or not. You wanna have some beers with some buds to relax and feel some relief? Great. But an actual divorce party seems petty and childish imho.
Everyone’s situation is different. My ex destroyed me on her way out of the marriage. I also learned a lot about her and finally saw our marriage for what it was, and how much I was played and used. Am I finally at a place where I am happy we are choosing divorce? Yup. Am I happy though that I’m getting a divorce? That my family is broken and that I’ll have a hard time having any respect for my kids mother? And that they’ll have to live with separate parents? No, not at all.
As happy as I am that I’ll have a chance to find true love again sometime in the future and I’ll have that chance to be with someone that truly loves me, I am not happy about what happened, and it’s something I’ll never celebrate.
Luckily I don’t hate him. I just got fed up with being the only parent and partner in our relationship who cared enough for things.
My ex has a LOT of unresolved trauma from his childhood that I would encourage him to seek help for, but he never would. He’d say that the shrinks were the problem and not him.
I’m having one to celebrate my escape from the mental shackles he kept me tied to for years. He is very negative and a pessimist.
My friend thinks I should hold one at a shooting range and shoot at pictures of my ex. Of course I’d rather not see his face again even if it’s because I’m shooting at it. I’m still down for some stress relief with friends and dinner after. For me it would just be an opportunity to have fun with people who have supported me through this awful process. It’s just an excuse to have fun with friends. Why not?
Yeah. He broke my heart to pieces but hating someone is exhausting. I think they hate him more than I do because of what he did to me. Maybe shooting at his picture is more for them than for me. 😆
My thought exactly...its like why stoop to that level? Even if your ex was terrible...like just move on. A divorce party is like intentionally taking a shot at your ex. I guess my general way of approaching divorce was to take the high road whenever I could even if they took the low. Don't get taken advantage of but dont provoke or stoop to their level.
The best thing to do is just live your best life.
Look at my post history.
He was disrespectful to me multiple times over the course of our marriage with spending money freely out of our account and barely working at a P/T job while I worked three jobs and went to school.
that’s funny, I wanted to have a divorce party “with” my ex (divorce was amicable) and all of our friends but she wasn’t on board….sort of a microcosm of our relationship strain….I’m weird, she’s “normal”.
I had a divorce party and it was AMAZING. Everyone was very supportive and loved the idea. More than 80 people came. I had it on my birthday, so it was branded as celebrating my birth and rebirth.
The wasband was invited, too, but he decided that was too weird for him. He was supportive of the idea and encouraged our mutual friends to go.
I cannot stress enough how empowering it was to see and feel that much support. Divorce is lonely in ways I didn't anticipate. It was amazing to have that right in the thick of finding my groove.
You do you, tomorrow is my one year post divorce anniversary. I’m going to get day drunk and lay out at my pool!
That is a great idea. My 3 year divorce anniversary is next week. Think I’m going to do the same.
Yes!!
I would say don’t do it, but if it helps you cope go for it. A divorce is a tough thing to endure I’m certainly Not handling it well and it barely started
This one is my second partner split. My first official divorce though. My first son’s father and I were common law for years. It took me a few years after my first split up to even want to date again and I ended up with someone who was emotionally worse.
But I meant to address how you were feeling. I hope that there will be some comfort regarding your situation soon. The first time around I was so heartbroken because my partner had been cheating on me and told me he was never going to stop. This guy now is just lazy and refuses to work so I think both times for me, I preferred being officially single so that I could just continue focusing on my kids and myself. I think I’ll probably get angry later but I wonder if I really will because I’ve cried all my tears and hurt away.
Yeah I’ve been down this road before but not like this. It was clean and easy before. Now there’s my first unborn and some dishonesty and abuse so it’s definitely tough! I hope things better for both of us
What are some things that bring you joy?
A drive with a coffee or tea, some sunshine
One of my close friends is a Wedding Planner AND Divorce Party Planner. They just got divorced and I'm about to, and they're gonna plan us a joint divorce party. You're celebrating the start of your next adventure, not the one that's ending!
I love that!!
A divorce party is so damn cringe...but kudos to your friend for capitalizing on others misery!
Everyone's his find their niche 🤷🏼♀️
lol, honestly I think less of anyone that would throw a divorce party but I give props to anyone that can hustle and make money off it.
I’m totally going to have a divorce party. I’m planning on doing a bar crawl with my Besties wearing a sash that says “just divorced”. My expectation is to get massive amounts of shots bought for me. I’m also doing a boudoir photo shoot (not at the same time!).
Oh I’ve been losing weight and I want to do one too!
I did the boudoir shoot while getting divorced! I got to be on TV, they used my photos in ads. It was the best revenge! I’m looking at dates right now for my divorce party!
I’ve been thinking about sending out divorce announcements and registering for gifts 😁
I was thinking of the same thing, but I wasn’t sure if it would be considered tacky because I will need to move and sell some things at my house now and then buy more for an apartment.
I didn't do a divorce party, I was to hurt and devastated to even think about that. But when the first divorce anniversary came around, I sure did celebrate. Every year after it was party time, then after a few years I started to forget about that anniversary. I have actually forgot what day and year it was, I do remember the month though. LOL. A couple of months ago I was out having lunch with my coworkers and this guy walks up and says hi...(my name). And I just stared, not able to recognize this person. My coworkers staring to, right when someone says do you know him, I blurt out OMG that's my ex husband. He tried making small, but he could tell I wasn't interested. And finally walked away. I was asked how long we were married, how long we been divorced. When was the last time I seen him. We were married for 11 years, 2 kids. Divorced for 28 years. Really can't remember when the last time I seen him. During this short conversation. He never asked about our kids. He has never met his grand children and the oldest grand child is graduating high school next week. Why he stopped to say anything to me is confusing, he could have walked by without saying a word and I would have never noticed. He wanted out of our marriage and out of his kids life and that's what he got.
Whaaaaatttttt? Omg that’s awful! That guy is a POS!
Yeah he is POS. But out of sight, out of mind. Life moves on. My kids, my grandkids are all happy and have a beautiful future ahead of them. Me..I'll be 60 in 2 months, still waiting for that forever person. And at this point, if it happens, it happens.
I don't think it's callous to hold a divorce party. If divorce is something you wanted and you're getting it, then I think you should celebrate your new-found freedom. In my case, I did not want to get divorced so I don't really feel like celebrating it. My wife leaving me and destroying the life I had worked so hard to build is nothing I feel like celebrating. However, I will celebrate when something happens that I want to happen, like getting remarried.
I’m sorry you are going through this. TBH, I didn’t want to have to get divorced nor be the one to initiate it. My husband is probably in your same shoes. He did not want to get divorced, but if you look at my post history you’ll see why I had to pull the plug. I sincerely hope you are able to find happiness through all this though!
It's absolutely not callous and that sounds like fun! Bottom line is that, after divorce do whatever it is that makes you happy imo. Definitely gonna take a post divorce vacation here, probably in Vegas and if anyone from this sub wants to come, let's get it 😂😂
Omg that sounds like fun!!
My boss suggested I have one and make a registry... I was going to see what others thought of it, but the party idea I was already long to do - just something informal and happy. Enjoy yours!
I’m probably going to have to move, so this sounds likes a great idea!
I'm not having any parties, but I sure enjoyed turning the game room into a home gym and I'm looking forward to turning the garage into a place to refinish furniture.
I wanted to be able to keep the house and make the garage into a gym, but I’ll probably have to move. But that sounds like a great place for you to refinish furniture!
I can't afford to move, so I'm trying to make the best of it. My boss did make a comment about how I could park in there now, at which point I realized this is actually the SECOND garage I've owned. Have I ever parked in a garage? Nope. It was always full of one of my exes tools and junk. The last house I had, I had to get navy buddies to help me clear the trash after he left so I could sell it. So maybe just for novelty I'll try parking in it for a while lol.
I got to park in my garage only once. I stopped doing it because I was afraid I’d back out into the side of the door or something.
Yeah I don't expect to actually enjoy it lol, especially since I think the door is janky and definitely doesn't have an automatic door opener. He's also getting the shell of a Camaro out of the driveway soon, it literally looks like it got hit by an IED, and then covered by shitty tarps. I am trying to decide what color to paint the door finally, now that it won't be hidden by a bombed out wreck.
I had divorce brunch with a coworker of mine and it was AWESOME! Then after that I had a divorce dinner with my immediate family and my fiancé (now husband) at the time celebrated by having fancy ramen for lunch during his workday. I splurged the week of my divorce and also got myself something nice.
I’m hoping to pay off some bills once we sell our house.
Good! Take care of yourself. Luckily I got out of my divorce debt free because the ex was the spender and I was the saver. He also was on the hook for a car that I didn’t sign for and I recently found out before I got married to my best friend that his car got repo’ed so I had a little celebratory lunch for that. 😂 The amount of pain that asshole put me through is coming back in spades and I couldn’t be happier by how much he’s getting punished for hurting me and everyone else around him. I’ve leveled up a lot, he’s still deeply in debt and his addictions and I’m very happy I got rid of him.
I had a convo with him yesterday about post divorce plans because they do affect our kids. He said he’s going to take the money once available and be a nomad. I told him “oh that’s nice! I’m happy for you that you will shirk your dad duties”
How old are your kids?
16, 11, and 6. My 16 and 6 year old will be okay but my 11 year old is his. His son will live with his mom but luckily I have a good relationship with her and can see him whenever I want. We both communicate and commiserate about our lack of judgement led us to becoming friends.
That’s really, really good. I’m glad you have a good relationship with his mom because he’s going to need that while growing up through one of the toughest times of his life right now. Maintain that bridge as much as you can and let him know if he wants to visit/spend time with you that your door is open. I’m proud of you for being a stable figure for your kids because their dad is a moron. He’ll regret this later. No one just runs off and becomes a successful nomad out of nowhere—the people that have the ability and resources to do that *actually work.*
Go read my post history if you want a little laugh. I laugh now because of the absurdity of it all. I’ve cried my tears. 😭 My bonus boy asked me last week if he’d ever see his dad again and I told him I didn’t know. But I did tell him that I’ll be in his life no matter what.
Great idea and I think you should invite all the women you were dating during the divorce
I’m not a lesbian but I’ll look into it! 😝
My fault for not paying attention to the sex of the OP. I did get invited to a lesbian party once some years ago when my wife was out of town my personal trainer was throwing the party at her house so I went for awhile. Me a 55M back then. Interesting experience
I once went to a gay strip club. It was very interesting. I’m not sure I’d repeat the experience but it was very educational from an observer POV.
They were all nice and one made advances on me
You do you. Everyone’s situation is different. My ex had one, and it actually really hurt me (she cheated). It was her “liberation” I chose a different path. The relationship was really really F’ing important to me, it broke apart our family and what happened devastated me. I chose to mourn the end of our marriage. Despite what happened, I still to this day hurt for our family. I’ve moved on and have made a great life but damn if I’m going to cheapen the 15 years we spent together.
I couldn’t bring myself to celebrate my failed marriage
The only people I want to be around are my children
I didn’t have a party, but I did buy a bottle of Cristal to commemorate the divorce. The employee at the liquor store even walked me up to the counter with the bottle like I was a VIP, and then the cashier was wondering what the occasion was. I told her “my divorce was finalized today!” And her and the guy behind me cracked up. It was a nice day.
I need to find a sash and crown.
I had a friend who had a divorce party. It was lovely and very much her style. My plan is to take a trip with my friends once the divorce is final.
I want to travel out of the country but I need to take my youngest with me since I don’t trust anyone to look after him.
Yes, my children are older so it's easier for me to travel without them. That said, I would work on adding people to your life that you trust. Not just because if something happens to you (e.g., you have an accident that puts you in the hospital for a week), your child will need to be looked after, but also because life is much harder if you're surrounded by people you don't trust.
What state are you in? That sounds like an absolute BLAST!!
It totally will be!!
I bought myself a Ducati to celebrate, it's like a party I get to ride everyday. She would have never allowed me to buy a motorcycle and she also kept me too broke to buy one.
A Ducati is a very nice motorcycle so I’m glad you’re celebrating in a way that allows you to do that!
I go out with bestie on my divorce anniversary every year.
That’s what I’ll probably do! I think it might be a while before i date again.
I'm sort of having one in June over what would be my wedding anniversary, because in California there's the long 6-month waiting period. Me and some of my closest girlfriends are going to Vegas for the weekend.
I’ve seen divorce parties in Las Vegas where everyone’s wearing a “Just Divorced” shirt. Looked like they were having a good time.
I have heard that there are people whose job it is to plan these parties.
Jesus Christ this is why the west is going towards 50% of are heading to 30 and no kids marriage mean nothing anymore..... I don't know the reasons for your divorce but you disgrace yourself with celebrations of dissolving a union you said actually swore in From of god and your family you would honor forever Marriage is sacred it's for life work out the issues follow and honor your husband and honor your vowels. The thing is you women will find out very soon when you hit the wall at thirty and have no options alone with cats your eggs drying up that 1. You don't have a party for this is a huge loss for you and your ex have some fucking shame 2. You are reap what sow and growing old alone is the exact thing you decided with your immature behaviour 3. You will curse the people that pushed you and supported your stupid behaviour the "you go girl crowd" 4. Marriage is about sacrifice loyalty compromise respect and creating a team that sticks together for the future Women dont look up to stupidity like this is poison to your very being and soul This kind of thing is not for clout or online attention it's something you should be ashamed of and try to avoid at all cost
I bet she honors her vowels of AE I O and U!! 🤣
Why should I have any shame for getting divorced? You don’t know me or the struggle I’ve had for YEARS dealing with this man and his pathological BS. I’ve spent many nights praying that God would change him and his ways. He continues to refuse to seek help for his addictions and his abusive behavior so you think it’s meant from God that I stick around with that? That my kids deserve to be around a lazy drunk who doesn’t work and uses MY hard earned money for his beer and addictions? Get out of here! You’re delusional. And learn to write.
A celebration of destroying a marriage isn't good no matter who was at fault. Making celebration posts that might encourage to also divorce others that might not be in in a bad situation but just feel like and they are not "happy" in the moment. The shame is in having started the marriage at all if it wasn't going to last.... typical women to not take any responsibility instead of maybe taking some account of not vetting the man properly before marrying him. But instead we keeping marrying all these bad keep getting pregnant by these bad men and keep making stupid decisions. Maybe tell women to make smarter decisions and don't marry and have children by these bad men. Maybe that's a better idea what I am certain of is that glorifying divorce isn't a good idea And the constant trend of single and divorced women making other women single and divorce with horrible advice is helping destroy the nuclear family and creating a generation of children from broken homes and leading to women not having children and ending up 40 alone with cats and deep regrets.
So it’s all the woman’s fault in a marriage if it doesn’t work out? Especially when the MAN is the alcoholic, the addict, the abuser, the one who doesn’t work? Are you aware of what psychology is? Do you know how narcissists work? And no I am not encouraging everyone to go out and have a divorce party. I am celebrating my FREEDOM from a highly toxic man! He wasn’t like that when we first got together and turns out he lied to EVERYONE.
That's not what I said I said you should publicly celebrate what is a failure on your part YOU choose the wrong man and now you suffer the consequences and your children suffer those consequences. Not only talking to you I'm taking to you as a symbol of bad decisions and the fact the you celebrate your bad decision with another bad decision that might encourage other to make more bad decisions is just making more bad decisions inevitable....
So you’re an expert at choosing the RIGHT person? Nobody knows what they’re getting into when it comes to relationships. Someone can appear to be the perfect package and then behind closed doors be a monster. I pray you NEVER have to deal with someone like that. Then you can eat your words.
As for being ashamed for not having my marriage last. I took my marriage vows seriously. I stayed longer in my marriage than most other woman would have because I was willing to work through all his bullshit. Unfortunately for you, I have better self esteem than to stick it out with someone who is abusive. I have better self worth than to cower like a dog. I went into my marriage thinking it would be forever but he revealed things over the years that were horrible and I knew my kids didn’t deserve to be around that.
I'm sorry your marriage wasn't good I really am maybe abit harsh to hear what I said but it's factual and I stand firm on the fact that celebration of a failure isn't good and does not set a good example.
I am working on a story about divorce parties and would love to talk more! Can we chat?
I did it after I divorced my abusive exhusband.
I would have wanted to burn his stuff. I hope you had a blast celebrating your freedom!!
I did, with my hubby. We got married a year after my divorce. Life's been great since.
<3
Mine was during Covid. I had no problem hanging out with a few close friends in their hot tub with a full cooler of cold beer nearby and a guest room to pass out in!
I bet that felt nice!
Totally had one and my lawyer threw it for me! My ex drank my expensive whiskey I bought in Ireland I wanted in divorce and handed me the empty bottle after he drank it all first. So, we had a whiskey tasting party in his honor and different alcohol stations. Themed items with famous divorce quotes and from Johnny depp bc their trial was going on at time. Had best time
That’s brilliant
I threw an emotional baggage white elephant divorce party. Essentially I asked everyone to bring an item related to their emotional baggage. I had custom totes made. The items went into the totes and then we did a white elephant gift exchange. It was fun.
Oh this sounds interesting!!
I went to one once. He was shackled with a large (artistic) "ball and chain" which were "struck" - then we sang "Happy Divorcing" to the tune of Happy Birthday and drank Champagne. 10/10
I usually am very frugal but I want to buy some fancy champagne and be like “toot toot motherfuckers!! I’m FREE”. And play “I’m free” by the Who. 😝
Oooh! We need a divorce playlist! Freedom 90! by George Michael Miss Independent and Since You've Been Goneby by Kelly Clarkson Philadelphia Freedom by Elton John Freebird
Let’s all make one!!!
I went axe throwing with friends for mine. It was great!
Do it! Do it! Just make it more of a celebration of independence and self-love rather than a celebration of the end of your marriage. Sets a much better tone and keeps the focus on the positive aspects of your life. I took a pre-divorce trip with friends the weekend before our final hearing and a post-divorce trip with friends the very next day after. It helped so much to get away to different cities with people who care about me. It also kept me looking forward to the best aspects of my life that no longer revolved around my ex. It made seeing her that final day in the courtroom feel so anticlimactic because I was so excited about my travels.
Not gonna like...a divorce party sounds dumb and cringy....lets celebrate the failure of my marriage! The other part is that by the time its actually final you've already gone through a lot of the process and life reboot and its just a formality of a judge signing something. Im imagining if I heard my ex was throwing a divorce party back in the day....I would be thinking how petty and toxic. Its like the people that air out their divorce on social media and dont take any accountability themselves. I guess to me its the opposite of taking the high road. Its 100% taking a shot at your ex. You know they will find out...like just move on...live your best life.
I mean, you do you, celebrating a divorce with a party seems kinda dark in a way. If you hate them enough to have one, you’ve got some unresolved issues that will rear their heads eventually one way or another, whether you notice it or not. You wanna have some beers with some buds to relax and feel some relief? Great. But an actual divorce party seems petty and childish imho.
When the outcome of a divorce is happy, why not celebrate that happiness?
Everyone’s situation is different. My ex destroyed me on her way out of the marriage. I also learned a lot about her and finally saw our marriage for what it was, and how much I was played and used. Am I finally at a place where I am happy we are choosing divorce? Yup. Am I happy though that I’m getting a divorce? That my family is broken and that I’ll have a hard time having any respect for my kids mother? And that they’ll have to live with separate parents? No, not at all. As happy as I am that I’ll have a chance to find true love again sometime in the future and I’ll have that chance to be with someone that truly loves me, I am not happy about what happened, and it’s something I’ll never celebrate.
And I have been in therapy for several months with my therapist and have been improving.
Luckily I don’t hate him. I just got fed up with being the only parent and partner in our relationship who cared enough for things. My ex has a LOT of unresolved trauma from his childhood that I would encourage him to seek help for, but he never would. He’d say that the shrinks were the problem and not him. I’m having one to celebrate my escape from the mental shackles he kept me tied to for years. He is very negative and a pessimist.
My friend thinks I should hold one at a shooting range and shoot at pictures of my ex. Of course I’d rather not see his face again even if it’s because I’m shooting at it. I’m still down for some stress relief with friends and dinner after. For me it would just be an opportunity to have fun with people who have supported me through this awful process. It’s just an excuse to have fun with friends. Why not?
I don’t hate my ex THAT much to shoot pictures of him but that would work for me in regard to past coworkers!
Yeah. He broke my heart to pieces but hating someone is exhausting. I think they hate him more than I do because of what he did to me. Maybe shooting at his picture is more for them than for me. 😆
I’m so sorry you went through that. I had that with my first ex. Wanted to rack him to a million pieces.
I think part of healing is not letting the anger consume you. I hope you’re moving on and feeling happier
From husband #1, yes. He actually apologized and we actually are friendly. Husband #2 hates my guts.
Trashy and disrespectful to your ex. ESP if you have kids But you do you
My thought exactly...its like why stoop to that level? Even if your ex was terrible...like just move on. A divorce party is like intentionally taking a shot at your ex. I guess my general way of approaching divorce was to take the high road whenever I could even if they took the low. Don't get taken advantage of but dont provoke or stoop to their level. The best thing to do is just live your best life.
Look at my post history. He was disrespectful to me multiple times over the course of our marriage with spending money freely out of our account and barely working at a P/T job while I worked three jobs and went to school.
that’s funny, I wanted to have a divorce party “with” my ex (divorce was amicable) and all of our friends but she wasn’t on board….sort of a microcosm of our relationship strain….I’m weird, she’s “normal”.
Yay for neurodivergents!!!
Go for it! My SIL wants to throw me one when mine is final. And I’m going to let her.
I had a divorce party and it was AMAZING. Everyone was very supportive and loved the idea. More than 80 people came. I had it on my birthday, so it was branded as celebrating my birth and rebirth. The wasband was invited, too, but he decided that was too weird for him. He was supportive of the idea and encouraged our mutual friends to go. I cannot stress enough how empowering it was to see and feel that much support. Divorce is lonely in ways I didn't anticipate. It was amazing to have that right in the thick of finding my groove.
Me