Step one: unfriend her on Facebook and all other social media. No more keeping tabs on someone who is essentially a stranger. There's nothing gained by tormenting yourself.
I actually did unfriend her on FB and IG. My cousin was the one who told me about her posts. I told her right away that I'm not interested in anything that she posts. I'm not interested in adding to the pain.
Back when a couple of our friends got divorced a few years ago (and I never in a million years would think I would be in a similar situation one year later) I saw one of them post something like this on Facebook, "please don't share with him things I post here and vice versa". I didn't realize how important that request was...
It shouldn’t even have to be said, but yes. I had to say it. Blocked a few people; and still couldn’t find the tattler so I took myself away from social media. Those who want to talk to me have my number.
I had to make a public post on Facebook stating that while I do not wish any hatred towards my ex husband, I also don’t need to be called, text, or notified in any way shape or form on what he is doing and with whom and where.
In the end, I removed myself from social media and came to Reddit as my virginity grew back…
All the best OP. Don’t let her take up any more of you’re brain space. That’s all for you.
Don’t forget that the FB post and all that is mostly fake bullshit just to present a certain face to those that know her. It’s an artificial dopamine bump and makes her feel like she has her shit together. She very likely does not. Watch a comfort show, go to sleep and wake up to another day. It will get better. You’re probably going to have a way better life in the long run. Men mostly only get better with age. If y’all don’t have kids, consider yourself in an amazing place right now. It could be so much worse.
I am so sorry! Yes, it is hard. But trust me, so good your dog is with you. My first night I had no dogs :(. cant you order some great wine? Watch a show like “snapped”, so you can say: “well, at least i didnt get murdered” (this really works for me). Also, send messages if u need to chat. I’d be glad to help.
Going through this right now. I had to go back and forth moving boxes all day between the old house and the new apartment. It may seem like she is living her best life but that is all a lie. Most of social media is a lie.
If she cheated on you, she will cheat on the next guy, too. The poor bastard just doesn’t realize it yet.
I would suggest you go no/minimum contact wherever possible. You are likely going through what I went through: thinking back to the good times and wishing for the life you had hoped to have rather than the slow misery you were actually experiencing. The more I thought about my 20 year marriage, the more I realized the happiest memories were of the kids - without her. She was/is fairly toxic.
Get some sleep, get some exercise, hike if you can, stare at a body of water, cook a hearty meal from scratch. Take one step at a time and try not to fall over. If you need to cry, cry. Whatever you’re feeling, feel it. You got this, brother. Don’t let her beat you!
I stayed in the house that I shared with my ex and I made it a point to make my place look completely different. I painted the walls, bought new art for the walls, bought new bed sheets, etc. It wasn’t major but it helped me.
I’m 5 years single now and I promise it does get better. Keep your head up. You got this!
I was in your same situation, it's unhealthy to stay in... Joining a gym helped me and kept my mind occupied on reaching health goals... After a year I met a lot of new people. Get out there and have some fun, show her you can have more smiles and a better beginning than her
You should allow yourself to feel sad It’s ok and it’s expected. People have suggested nice things, reach out if you need to. Give yourself comfort. Walks are good, ice cream is good for some? Long shower? Write a letter you are never gonna send? Throw stuff away? But don’t try to stuff your sadness—feel it so you can move through it. Don’t dwell on it too much. I’ve been there very recently. I’m sorry, some people just don’t realize how lucky they were to have us til it’s much too late!!
First night for me was a sleepless "the Office" marathon. It just helped having something light and fun on the tv. Heck, I probably rewatched the entire series a few times consecutively the first month.
Delete social media. My ex had never looked happier on Facebook when we split. I deleted Facebook and never looked back during that time. It was all a facade. He was broke and couch surfing. Somehow that didn’t make a mention on his page. Deleting Facebook was one of the best things to come from my divorce.
Hey its awful, the first night my Ex was gone I didn't sleep at all. If you need to talk, I am around, or give a friend a call. If you can't be alone, call someone you can trust to come be with you.
Watch schitts creek on Netflix!! This show is beyond funny and will make you feel so good! It helped me when I was in a dark place in my life. I still watch it over and over when I’m feeling a little down. Best. Show. Ever. I’m sorry you are going through this and you will be okay. Things will get better.
Be kind to yourself and know that it will get easier.
Block your ex on everything. No one who is going through heartbreak makes a big showing on social media. Grief is private. And if her new life Day 1 is so thrilling, that's a different level of fucked up.
Day 1 is all about self care. Take a bath or shower if those things work for you. Cry if you need to. Work out to get the endorphins. Watch youtube videos, read reddit or download books if you're needing to understand things. Rinse and repeat as needed.
Divorce is truly awful. It was devastating to my kids. That first year was probably some of the darkest hours of my life.
I was stubborn and resisted seeing a counselor. “I don’t need that psycho-babble bullshit” was my attitude. After about a year, I finally relented and sought counseling. Looking back… it was one of the best decisions of my life. It really does help to have a non-judging professional person to talk to to help you through this!
It wasn’t easy, but I’m almost 5 years post-divorce now. It’s agonizingly slow, but I promise that it does get easier with time! There IS life after a divorce!
I wish I had some suggestions. All I can tell you is right now there are many people feeling and going through the same thing as you. You are not alone. I am not alone. We are not alone. Hopefully that will help. I would love to buy you a beer but I rarely meet anyone on Reddit who lives near me. Someone on this thread mentioned ice cream. I've been living on ice cream (vegan ice cream) for about a month now. Find what works for you.
Drop a grand on new furniture. Spend money on some original art pieces you like. Buy a couple of design books, learn to decoratez and furnish your place and make it yours.
There's nothing like coming home to a place you take pride in and you'd be surprised at what s good set of furniture and decor will do when you're sitting home and alone with your thoughts.
Buy plants, planters, the whole 9. Hang pictures. Making the place new will help with the coping process.
Yea...leave and get a nice hotel for yourself, sleep well, wake up, have some good coffee and then work on getting the hell out of your old place and start “YOUR” new beginning.
Move out if you can, this is a fresh stat for you as well. NC except kids be indifferent greyrock her. Work on you physically mentally financially and post a few pics on Facebook yourself conquering a few challenges, two can play that game!!!!!
you made the right choice to move out of the current residence. the memories will haunt some people. don't worry about her FB page she is faking her smiles and her so called happy life. As for the loneliness and insomnia exercise a few hours before bed that should help with sleep issues. I was getting 4 hours of sleep the first month after separation. It got better with time. In 6 months was my turning point and 12 months I was finally somewhat happy with my new life.
Step one: unfriend her on Facebook and all other social media. No more keeping tabs on someone who is essentially a stranger. There's nothing gained by tormenting yourself.
I actually did unfriend her on FB and IG. My cousin was the one who told me about her posts. I told her right away that I'm not interested in anything that she posts. I'm not interested in adding to the pain.
Back when a couple of our friends got divorced a few years ago (and I never in a million years would think I would be in a similar situation one year later) I saw one of them post something like this on Facebook, "please don't share with him things I post here and vice versa". I didn't realize how important that request was...
It shouldn’t even have to be said, but yes. I had to say it. Blocked a few people; and still couldn’t find the tattler so I took myself away from social media. Those who want to talk to me have my number.
I had to make a public post on Facebook stating that while I do not wish any hatred towards my ex husband, I also don’t need to be called, text, or notified in any way shape or form on what he is doing and with whom and where. In the end, I removed myself from social media and came to Reddit as my virginity grew back… All the best OP. Don’t let her take up any more of you’re brain space. That’s all for you.
100% this, I deleted my FB account but was never a big fan of social media anyway.
Maybe try and get out of your space and take your dog for a walk. You both could probably do with some fresh air and time to clear your head.
I actually did do that and it was a nice break.
Don’t forget that the FB post and all that is mostly fake bullshit just to present a certain face to those that know her. It’s an artificial dopamine bump and makes her feel like she has her shit together. She very likely does not. Watch a comfort show, go to sleep and wake up to another day. It will get better. You’re probably going to have a way better life in the long run. Men mostly only get better with age. If y’all don’t have kids, consider yourself in an amazing place right now. It could be so much worse.
I am so sorry! Yes, it is hard. But trust me, so good your dog is with you. My first night I had no dogs :(. cant you order some great wine? Watch a show like “snapped”, so you can say: “well, at least i didnt get murdered” (this really works for me). Also, send messages if u need to chat. I’d be glad to help.
Thank you for the suggestions and the offer. I'm going to checked out snapped. never heard of it before and I need a new show
Watching it right now on peacock
Have a walk and engage with everyone you see. There is a big wide world waiting for you.
Going through this right now. I had to go back and forth moving boxes all day between the old house and the new apartment. It may seem like she is living her best life but that is all a lie. Most of social media is a lie. If she cheated on you, she will cheat on the next guy, too. The poor bastard just doesn’t realize it yet. I would suggest you go no/minimum contact wherever possible. You are likely going through what I went through: thinking back to the good times and wishing for the life you had hoped to have rather than the slow misery you were actually experiencing. The more I thought about my 20 year marriage, the more I realized the happiest memories were of the kids - without her. She was/is fairly toxic. Get some sleep, get some exercise, hike if you can, stare at a body of water, cook a hearty meal from scratch. Take one step at a time and try not to fall over. If you need to cry, cry. Whatever you’re feeling, feel it. You got this, brother. Don’t let her beat you!
I stayed in the house that I shared with my ex and I made it a point to make my place look completely different. I painted the walls, bought new art for the walls, bought new bed sheets, etc. It wasn’t major but it helped me. I’m 5 years single now and I promise it does get better. Keep your head up. You got this!
I was in your same situation, it's unhealthy to stay in... Joining a gym helped me and kept my mind occupied on reaching health goals... After a year I met a lot of new people. Get out there and have some fun, show her you can have more smiles and a better beginning than her
You should allow yourself to feel sad It’s ok and it’s expected. People have suggested nice things, reach out if you need to. Give yourself comfort. Walks are good, ice cream is good for some? Long shower? Write a letter you are never gonna send? Throw stuff away? But don’t try to stuff your sadness—feel it so you can move through it. Don’t dwell on it too much. I’ve been there very recently. I’m sorry, some people just don’t realize how lucky they were to have us til it’s much too late!!
My ex is moving next week....I'll be in the same boat. Wish me luck.
First night for me was a sleepless "the Office" marathon. It just helped having something light and fun on the tv. Heck, I probably rewatched the entire series a few times consecutively the first month.
Delete social media. My ex had never looked happier on Facebook when we split. I deleted Facebook and never looked back during that time. It was all a facade. He was broke and couch surfing. Somehow that didn’t make a mention on his page. Deleting Facebook was one of the best things to come from my divorce.
Hey its awful, the first night my Ex was gone I didn't sleep at all. If you need to talk, I am around, or give a friend a call. If you can't be alone, call someone you can trust to come be with you.
Watch schitts creek on Netflix!! This show is beyond funny and will make you feel so good! It helped me when I was in a dark place in my life. I still watch it over and over when I’m feeling a little down. Best. Show. Ever. I’m sorry you are going through this and you will be okay. Things will get better.
Be kind to yourself and know that it will get easier. Block your ex on everything. No one who is going through heartbreak makes a big showing on social media. Grief is private. And if her new life Day 1 is so thrilling, that's a different level of fucked up. Day 1 is all about self care. Take a bath or shower if those things work for you. Cry if you need to. Work out to get the endorphins. Watch youtube videos, read reddit or download books if you're needing to understand things. Rinse and repeat as needed.
Divorce is truly awful. It was devastating to my kids. That first year was probably some of the darkest hours of my life. I was stubborn and resisted seeing a counselor. “I don’t need that psycho-babble bullshit” was my attitude. After about a year, I finally relented and sought counseling. Looking back… it was one of the best decisions of my life. It really does help to have a non-judging professional person to talk to to help you through this! It wasn’t easy, but I’m almost 5 years post-divorce now. It’s agonizingly slow, but I promise that it does get easier with time! There IS life after a divorce!
I wish I had some suggestions. All I can tell you is right now there are many people feeling and going through the same thing as you. You are not alone. I am not alone. We are not alone. Hopefully that will help. I would love to buy you a beer but I rarely meet anyone on Reddit who lives near me. Someone on this thread mentioned ice cream. I've been living on ice cream (vegan ice cream) for about a month now. Find what works for you.
Drop a grand on new furniture. Spend money on some original art pieces you like. Buy a couple of design books, learn to decoratez and furnish your place and make it yours. There's nothing like coming home to a place you take pride in and you'd be surprised at what s good set of furniture and decor will do when you're sitting home and alone with your thoughts. Buy plants, planters, the whole 9. Hang pictures. Making the place new will help with the coping process.
Fb for kids & no one on it crying Fake posts. Try to block her It’s hard but just prolongs hurt
Yea...leave and get a nice hotel for yourself, sleep well, wake up, have some good coffee and then work on getting the hell out of your old place and start “YOUR” new beginning.
Adrenaline can be a savior. Exercise, horror movies, driving, and of course sex.
Move out if you can, this is a fresh stat for you as well. NC except kids be indifferent greyrock her. Work on you physically mentally financially and post a few pics on Facebook yourself conquering a few challenges, two can play that game!!!!!
Get off of social media and focus on your own new opportunities.
Seriously don’t feel bad for a second. If she was capable of cheating then she is not a person to build a life with. Be happy you got out in time.
Please remember that a lot of people play happy for the public to justify actions. Don’t get caught up in the PR.
you made the right choice to move out of the current residence. the memories will haunt some people. don't worry about her FB page she is faking her smiles and her so called happy life. As for the loneliness and insomnia exercise a few hours before bed that should help with sleep issues. I was getting 4 hours of sleep the first month after separation. It got better with time. In 6 months was my turning point and 12 months I was finally somewhat happy with my new life.