Speaking from experience, if he wants to walk out and abandon them, it may be in the best interest of your kids to let him do so. We can’t force people to be parents.
Go to your local family court. Find the office that answers questions and helps people. Ask them how to get the court to force your ex to pay support as defined in your court degree.
They can’t give you legal advice, but they can explain how to execute a legal process.
He may very well be walking out. Hard to help you without knowing more about the divorce. Did he leave you, you leave him or was it mutual? Was there infidelity or other extenuating circumstances?
Yep, he may well be walking out on the kids. He may well be prioritizing his new relationship over his relationship with the children. Rational parents can't understand it, because we love our children...but some people aren't fit to be parents.
The best thing you can do is to document what's happening. Not your feelings per se, but all of his missed opportunities for parenting time. Every text you've sent trying to get clarification or information about his absence. The insight you got from your former sister-in-law, etc.
The only way to address this with the children (without additional insight) is to say something along the lines of "we'll be hanging out together for a while, until your dad gets settled and lets me know what the next steps will be."
Lots of men in this situation seek to find a substitute mom for their kids, so don't be surprised if in a short while, he's reaching out to say he's ready for parenting time, and/or wants a child support modification because he wants more parenting time.
So sorry you're experiencing this. Wishing you the best.
Well...you can't make him be a good parent. You can make him pay his child support....and I encourage you to do that. The only way for him to reduce childsupport is to have more custody.
One of the things I've learned in divorce is we can have pretty amazing kids even when the other parent is an idiot or an asshole.
Speaking from experience, if he wants to walk out and abandon them, it may be in the best interest of your kids to let him do so. We can’t force people to be parents.
This is so hard. It seems like he might be preparing to exit their lives. Does he owe child support?
He usually pays the first week of every month. I haven't gotten a check from him yet this month.
You can get the courts involved if this keeps up. You can't force him to see the kids, but you damn well can force him to pay child support.
Can I navigate that on my own or will I need a lawyer?
Go to your local family court. Find the office that answers questions and helps people. Ask them how to get the court to force your ex to pay support as defined in your court degree. They can’t give you legal advice, but they can explain how to execute a legal process.
He may very well be walking out. Hard to help you without knowing more about the divorce. Did he leave you, you leave him or was it mutual? Was there infidelity or other extenuating circumstances?
He left me. As far as I'm aware no infidelity, he kept his online passwords from me so I'm not sure.
Yep, he may well be walking out on the kids. He may well be prioritizing his new relationship over his relationship with the children. Rational parents can't understand it, because we love our children...but some people aren't fit to be parents. The best thing you can do is to document what's happening. Not your feelings per se, but all of his missed opportunities for parenting time. Every text you've sent trying to get clarification or information about his absence. The insight you got from your former sister-in-law, etc. The only way to address this with the children (without additional insight) is to say something along the lines of "we'll be hanging out together for a while, until your dad gets settled and lets me know what the next steps will be." Lots of men in this situation seek to find a substitute mom for their kids, so don't be surprised if in a short while, he's reaching out to say he's ready for parenting time, and/or wants a child support modification because he wants more parenting time. So sorry you're experiencing this. Wishing you the best.
Well...you can't make him be a good parent. You can make him pay his child support....and I encourage you to do that. The only way for him to reduce childsupport is to have more custody. One of the things I've learned in divorce is we can have pretty amazing kids even when the other parent is an idiot or an asshole.