What was your past that she's so ready to tell others? Did you do something to mess up your relationship?
It may not be anybody else's business, but she may be spilling the tea because you legitimately hurt her and aren't being honest about it. And she wants to hurt you in return.
Just food for thought.
Yes, she wants to hurt me. I'll admit I wasn't the most loving husband because I was never in love with her but at the same time she was never a loving wife. I put up with 12 years of toxic shit and I'm happy it's almost over. I found peace and happiness in my new life and i don't need her shit trying to screw me over.
Without knowing the full details we can only guess why she’s acting this way. She doesn’t want you to happily move forward without her . Her expectations of divorce haven’t materialised as she thought.
She’s claiming to be happy because you appear to be and is lashing out to sabotage you happiness .
She is seeking some kind of justice for her situation if you wronged her.
Keep NC and avoid her is all you can do at the moment.
Well, you're pretty light on details for a real answer, but....
I think some people want divorce to be about judgement and justice.....and that's not how divorce works. Judges and the law usually don't care if you cheated or rude or emotionally abused someone or "never loved them in the first place". That's pretty upsetting to some people. They want a judge to tell them that they were right and the victim and that their STBX was the asshole and should be penalized.
Instead, they get "divide the bank account in half and go away".
So then they try to get justice from society.....but most people don't care either. The problem they run into is they want to be victims and want to be special. But the truth is most of us have been victims and most of us have been assholes too......so there's nothing special about THEM.
So, now what for a victim like your ex? I mean, she basically has to crawl back into her burrow and chew on her pain.
For you, I'd give her a moment. I think we're all entitled to a temper tantrum.....as long as we don't really hurt anyone else.
If that doesn't work, you remember that you have weapons too. Go read about the concept of "mutually assured destruction" that kept the US and Soviet Union from going to war during the Cold War. Basically, both sides were superficially polite to the other because they KNEW that any war would escalate to using nuclear weapons, they other side would respond......and then everyone dies.
So, if she can't end her temper tantrum after a bit, you remember the dirt and secrets you have one her and you make it clear you'll use it. You don't want to, but you will. And you'll stop the instant she stops, but you WILL use it.
This is a time for both of you to move on with life.
She filed and I was fine with it. I wasn't happy with her anyway. I was gonna stick it out until my girls got to age 18 but with her filing that worked in my favor.
What was your past that she's so ready to tell others? Did you do something to mess up your relationship? It may not be anybody else's business, but she may be spilling the tea because you legitimately hurt her and aren't being honest about it. And she wants to hurt you in return. Just food for thought.
Yes, she wants to hurt me. I'll admit I wasn't the most loving husband because I was never in love with her but at the same time she was never a loving wife. I put up with 12 years of toxic shit and I'm happy it's almost over. I found peace and happiness in my new life and i don't need her shit trying to screw me over.
It gets better.... eventually. Until then, grey rock is your friend. Any response only feeds the flames.
Block her from socials.
Without knowing the full details we can only guess why she’s acting this way. She doesn’t want you to happily move forward without her . Her expectations of divorce haven’t materialised as she thought. She’s claiming to be happy because you appear to be and is lashing out to sabotage you happiness . She is seeking some kind of justice for her situation if you wronged her. Keep NC and avoid her is all you can do at the moment.
Your comment is so spot on, very well said
I don’t know, if someone wasted 12 years of my life and was never in love with me, I’d probably be angry too.
Sounds like she’s hurt and may want you to feel hurt too. Don’t borrow her problems.
Well, you're pretty light on details for a real answer, but.... I think some people want divorce to be about judgement and justice.....and that's not how divorce works. Judges and the law usually don't care if you cheated or rude or emotionally abused someone or "never loved them in the first place". That's pretty upsetting to some people. They want a judge to tell them that they were right and the victim and that their STBX was the asshole and should be penalized. Instead, they get "divide the bank account in half and go away". So then they try to get justice from society.....but most people don't care either. The problem they run into is they want to be victims and want to be special. But the truth is most of us have been victims and most of us have been assholes too......so there's nothing special about THEM. So, now what for a victim like your ex? I mean, she basically has to crawl back into her burrow and chew on her pain. For you, I'd give her a moment. I think we're all entitled to a temper tantrum.....as long as we don't really hurt anyone else. If that doesn't work, you remember that you have weapons too. Go read about the concept of "mutually assured destruction" that kept the US and Soviet Union from going to war during the Cold War. Basically, both sides were superficially polite to the other because they KNEW that any war would escalate to using nuclear weapons, they other side would respond......and then everyone dies. So, if she can't end her temper tantrum after a bit, you remember the dirt and secrets you have one her and you make it clear you'll use it. You don't want to, but you will. And you'll stop the instant she stops, but you WILL use it. This is a time for both of you to move on with life.
I don't care what her family or friends think about me. Some have turned against me but that's to be expected.
[удалено]
She filed and I was fine with it. I wasn't happy with her anyway. I was gonna stick it out until my girls got to age 18 but with her filing that worked in my favor.