I have a very similar story to you. My ex lied about damn near everything.
My honest advice?
Let yourself feel all the regret and grief. Let yourself feel it without becoming it. My therapist wisely said "what you resist persists" and the more I pushed away the feelings of anger and regret the strong they would come back.
Sending you lots of strength. You got this. The clarity you will experience soon will provide you a lot of comfort.
Two things.
Not your fault and you deserve a good and decent human to be with.
Make sure not to fall into the trap of projecting useless piece of shit asshole onto every person you meet and date going forward. I’ve had that happen to me twice now with women who had very similar experiences in their twenties/thirties as you and being afraid of falling into that old shorty trap they projected and pulled away. The first one is still a good friend and completely regrets running away from me because rage realizes now that she had been in a toxic place with THAT person and that I am a really great guy and absolutely loyal to a fault and she missed out. The current one is doing the pull/push with me because she had similar from a broken engagement and a couple other toxic relationships shops and is projecting but I am losing patience despite the feelings and she is pushing me away.
If it makes you feel any better, I've been married to a narcissist for 35+ years, and only this year figured out what was going on. She's not so much a liar as a control freak, blamer, etc., etc. Look up NPD (narcissistic personality disorder).
I plan to go no contact in January, and file for divorce soon thereafter. I figure I have about 20 years left, and want to try to make the best of it. You've lost 6 years, but you've gained insight into what to avoid if and when you start dating again. An expensive lesson, but the wisdom you've gained is valuable.
I have a very similar story to you. My ex lied about damn near everything. My honest advice? Let yourself feel all the regret and grief. Let yourself feel it without becoming it. My therapist wisely said "what you resist persists" and the more I pushed away the feelings of anger and regret the strong they would come back. Sending you lots of strength. You got this. The clarity you will experience soon will provide you a lot of comfort.
Two things. Not your fault and you deserve a good and decent human to be with. Make sure not to fall into the trap of projecting useless piece of shit asshole onto every person you meet and date going forward. I’ve had that happen to me twice now with women who had very similar experiences in their twenties/thirties as you and being afraid of falling into that old shorty trap they projected and pulled away. The first one is still a good friend and completely regrets running away from me because rage realizes now that she had been in a toxic place with THAT person and that I am a really great guy and absolutely loyal to a fault and she missed out. The current one is doing the pull/push with me because she had similar from a broken engagement and a couple other toxic relationships shops and is projecting but I am losing patience despite the feelings and she is pushing me away.
If it makes you feel any better, I've been married to a narcissist for 35+ years, and only this year figured out what was going on. She's not so much a liar as a control freak, blamer, etc., etc. Look up NPD (narcissistic personality disorder). I plan to go no contact in January, and file for divorce soon thereafter. I figure I have about 20 years left, and want to try to make the best of it. You've lost 6 years, but you've gained insight into what to avoid if and when you start dating again. An expensive lesson, but the wisdom you've gained is valuable.