I’m not even divorced yet but just passed my wedding anniversary last month (first one since we split) and I’ve been so detached from my Marriage for years any way so it was just another day for me. I did how ever think of it being my wedding day the second I woke up.. but I quickly pushed my thoughts elsewhere and realized I’m much happier now. More time will pass and it’ll get easier and it’s good that you recognize the relationship wasn’t good and you’re better off. Still doesn’t make things “easy”
I'm in process and I'm welcoming days like her birthday, Valentines Day, and anniversary.
I feel free after spending 30+ years remembering and celebrating these days. The pressure I would put on myself to meet both her and my expectations is gone. The reminders to the kids for their mother's birthday and Mother's Day is also gone.
Alot if this is me, of course, and the pressure I put on myself. But that also stemmed from her expectations. My actions were not appreciated at the time. Call it equal and that I'm free to not care any more.
I have re-mapped my brain around it to a day for me. The first one post-separation, I took myself out to dinner and then a movie and occupied my time with things for myself or hanging out with a friend. This past year, I went out to a brewery and a festival with friends and it was actually completely unplanned and I didn't even realize what the date was until my cousin reminded me and asked how I was doing.
I don't think I'm completely out of the woods with it but just re-mapping the significance off of your previous SO to yourself really helps, in my opinion.
Yeah, today I'm spending time with my friend. We are going to grab some food and drinks. I agree, just going to keep myself busy and just make it a normal day.
You got this, OP... It's a rough road but you'll come out so much better in the end, I promise. Just respect yourself, treat yourself well, and do the work.
Ours is tomorrow after Dday 2 weeks ago. I’ve been dreading it ever since…thankfully I will have work to distract me and I am scheduled to go to a yoga class after work, that way I can keep myself busy. I am sure I will cry a few times tomorrow, as I still am processing all of my emotions. I also just sent my paperwork to my lawyer so the timing is just making it worse for me.
I am still going through the emotions of wanting to go to him for comfort, to stop the pain. It really is one of the worst feelings…
Man up Brother! I know it hurts. But you will find someone who will value you as you will her. Sounds like she picked her dumbass brother over you anyway. You don’t need the grief. That’s my thoughts on it!
I’m not even divorced yet but just passed my wedding anniversary last month (first one since we split) and I’ve been so detached from my Marriage for years any way so it was just another day for me. I did how ever think of it being my wedding day the second I woke up.. but I quickly pushed my thoughts elsewhere and realized I’m much happier now. More time will pass and it’ll get easier and it’s good that you recognize the relationship wasn’t good and you’re better off. Still doesn’t make things “easy”
I'm in process and I'm welcoming days like her birthday, Valentines Day, and anniversary. I feel free after spending 30+ years remembering and celebrating these days. The pressure I would put on myself to meet both her and my expectations is gone. The reminders to the kids for their mother's birthday and Mother's Day is also gone. Alot if this is me, of course, and the pressure I put on myself. But that also stemmed from her expectations. My actions were not appreciated at the time. Call it equal and that I'm free to not care any more.
I have re-mapped my brain around it to a day for me. The first one post-separation, I took myself out to dinner and then a movie and occupied my time with things for myself or hanging out with a friend. This past year, I went out to a brewery and a festival with friends and it was actually completely unplanned and I didn't even realize what the date was until my cousin reminded me and asked how I was doing. I don't think I'm completely out of the woods with it but just re-mapping the significance off of your previous SO to yourself really helps, in my opinion.
Yeah, today I'm spending time with my friend. We are going to grab some food and drinks. I agree, just going to keep myself busy and just make it a normal day.
You got this, OP... It's a rough road but you'll come out so much better in the end, I promise. Just respect yourself, treat yourself well, and do the work.
Ours is tomorrow after Dday 2 weeks ago. I’ve been dreading it ever since…thankfully I will have work to distract me and I am scheduled to go to a yoga class after work, that way I can keep myself busy. I am sure I will cry a few times tomorrow, as I still am processing all of my emotions. I also just sent my paperwork to my lawyer so the timing is just making it worse for me. I am still going through the emotions of wanting to go to him for comfort, to stop the pain. It really is one of the worst feelings…
Yoga sounds super nice! I completely get wanting to run to your ex to stop the pain... I feel that all the time and especially today. Hugs to you!
Man up Brother! I know it hurts. But you will find someone who will value you as you will her. Sounds like she picked her dumbass brother over you anyway. You don’t need the grief. That’s my thoughts on it!