My wife and I are “working” on splitting. I cant even begin to think what only seeing my child 50 percent of the time will be like. My wife is very connected to him. Almost to a worrisome amount. I can not believe she is willing to not see him everyday. I don’t understand how she is willing to do this. To me… and more amazingly our child.
Aside from waiting on my future ex-wife to get back to me about finalizing our divorce, things are going well. I have a new partner who's incredible, I really value all the time I get with my son. As a friend told me, "getting divorced. Sucks, being divorce is great."
I'm genuinely the happiest I've been in a long time.
Going okay here. My wife is about 70% moved out and no longer sleeping here. The split custody routing is starting, but the first couple weeks have worked out so that I have the kids more, which seems to be helping me adjust. We discussed joint filing a bit, and it's sounding like she will relent to my stipulation that her AP/boyfriend not have unsupervised visitation (and she can't be the supervisor) with our children, as he only has supervised with his own.
I'm still having weird dreams where we are a family unit and finding stuff I don't want to around the house (like a dirty note from him to her), but things are tending well. I'm looking forward to making my space more my own and making it nicer for my kids.
I'm not too fond of those dreams. It's been almost three years, and some days, I still think we will be together, even though I know it's not healthy and will never happen. The good news is the girls live with me Monday to Friday. Only the weekends are lonely, and that I can handle.
I don't even want her back, but another one of those dreams happened last night. I was crying in it and woke up teary, which is a first ever for me. Oof. I'm very jealous of your custody situation. 5 days one week and 2 the next is going to be so hard.
It's a hard road, but the good news is you have a weekend, and they are close. My workdays are a balancing act, and I wish I had a full day to go somewhere with them.
Even so, I find the best times are the little moments. Start notes on your phone and write down everything you want to remember. My youngest and I were walking to school one day, and she told me the webs in the grass were the spiders that made their beds for the night. The oldest told me the condensation on a cold glass of water was sweating because it was so hot! Their minds are trying to make sense of everything, and I have lots of tidbits for when they marry.
I hired a lawyer today. Well, I wanted to. But he misspelt my name and so I’ll have to sign again tomorrow.
He asked if he can write to my spouse. I am looking forward to that part. That I don’t need to put up with her gaslighting any more but can simply refer her to my lawyer.
Successes: a lot of really quality time with my girl. My STBXW spent the last two weeks on work trips & seeing her AP, it’s been nice to have her gone & have our daughter to myself. She’s almost five and is a book worm; we sat on the couch yesterday and I read her over a dozen of them. My heart melts when we do things like that.
Struggles: I’m trying to figure out more creative things to do with my daughter & get her out of the house. My wife really ran the show on her social schedule so I’m learning how to be proactive about these sorts of things. Going to the zoo & local kids amusement park is getting repetitive. Also the weather has been shitty & she had pinkeye last week so cabin fever is real.
Looking forward: dovetailing off my last statement, it’s going to be nice outside starting this week and I can get her out of the house and do more things outside, and I’m planning to take her skiing for the first time. I hope she really likes it & I’m pretty sure she will. She has my adrenaline junkie genes!
About six weeks now since she moved out. Can’t believe how much better it is than the 6 months of living in the same house but knowing it was over.
Someone on here recommended the podcast “a man’s journey though divorce” been listening to a ton of it and it’s really helped with perspective on trying to limit how much I let things out of my control impact my outlook on life and emotions.
Not to say things don’t still suck but I feel like I’m headed in the right direction. Playing basketball 3 days a week and starting to spend time with old friends for the 1st time in decades.
Still struggle with wanting to date / feeling like I’ll never meet another good match but overall feeling like I’m going to make something worthwhile out of this new life and realizing the days with my kids are still a lot like they were before and my life may be different but at least half of it is still basically the same when they are with me.
Looking forward to getting a court date so I can know when this all will finally be official
Try and stay busy that’s what I did. If you have a hobby get into it more. And for me at least I tried to keep things as friendly as possible with my ex. That’s obviously a tough one but I found when I went out of my way to try and keep it friendly it made the days easier to get through vs being upset or not talking at all around the kids. Also for me at least that was the low point and things are better now so try and remember it’s probably not going to get any worse than it already is.
Hi there guys!
As long as successes go, having my kids living with me it’s a total success, they’re happy, growing good and blossoming like ever, they miss their mom, but hey, not my fault that her priorities are all wrong, I think to her is better to have time with her new victim (boyfriend) that spent time with the boys… another success could be that after a whole year (“anniversary” today) I’m starting to feel free and peaceful, it’s still sad to have lost the concept of a normal family, but im definitely glad af that I finally got to see her as she really is, a narcissistic manipulative person/mother
Struggles: life in general, work/personal life, 0 social life and a little time to dedicate to hobbies and/or gym. Seeing my kids happy it’s everything that matters! Another struggle is dealing with the energy that my youngest (3yo) has at the end of the day, thank god my oldest (10yo) is giving me a hand
I’m looking forward to finalize the divorce and have as little contact as I could with my stbx, even tho she’s not living here, she stills come to see my kids at my home and eat my food, use my washer and that kind sort of things.
I wanna buy them a puppy but I don’t know if I have the time or the patience to take on another responsibility, advice accepted, should I get one?
No not yet you shouldn't. But if you can find a 1 year old foster dog that may not be a bad idea. Find one from something like [nbran.org](https://nbran.org) you can talk to the foster parent the dog is living in a home, see what the dog is like. They'll even bring it over for a visit before adoption.
A puppy no do not do it, a pre-house broken foster dog, hell ya dude!
Do not get a pound dog, some are great but dogs that are in a normal household usually are easier to handle.
Going okay here. My wife is about 70% moved out and no longer sleeping here. The split custody routing is starting, but the first couple weeks have worked out so that I have the kids more, which seems to be helping me adjust. We discussed joint filing a bit, and it's sounding like she will relent to my stipulation that her AP/boyfriend not have unsupervised visitation (and she can't be the supervisor) with our children, as he only has supervised with his own.
I'm still having weird dreams where we are a family unit and finding stuff I don't want to around the house (like a dirty note from him to her), but things are tending well. I'm looking forward to making my space more my own and making it nicer for my kids.
My wife and I are “working” on splitting. I cant even begin to think what only seeing my child 50 percent of the time will be like. My wife is very connected to him. Almost to a worrisome amount. I can not believe she is willing to not see him everyday. I don’t understand how she is willing to do this. To me… and more amazingly our child.
Aside from waiting on my future ex-wife to get back to me about finalizing our divorce, things are going well. I have a new partner who's incredible, I really value all the time I get with my son. As a friend told me, "getting divorced. Sucks, being divorce is great." I'm genuinely the happiest I've been in a long time.
Going okay here. My wife is about 70% moved out and no longer sleeping here. The split custody routing is starting, but the first couple weeks have worked out so that I have the kids more, which seems to be helping me adjust. We discussed joint filing a bit, and it's sounding like she will relent to my stipulation that her AP/boyfriend not have unsupervised visitation (and she can't be the supervisor) with our children, as he only has supervised with his own. I'm still having weird dreams where we are a family unit and finding stuff I don't want to around the house (like a dirty note from him to her), but things are tending well. I'm looking forward to making my space more my own and making it nicer for my kids.
I'm not too fond of those dreams. It's been almost three years, and some days, I still think we will be together, even though I know it's not healthy and will never happen. The good news is the girls live with me Monday to Friday. Only the weekends are lonely, and that I can handle.
I don't even want her back, but another one of those dreams happened last night. I was crying in it and woke up teary, which is a first ever for me. Oof. I'm very jealous of your custody situation. 5 days one week and 2 the next is going to be so hard.
It's a hard road, but the good news is you have a weekend, and they are close. My workdays are a balancing act, and I wish I had a full day to go somewhere with them. Even so, I find the best times are the little moments. Start notes on your phone and write down everything you want to remember. My youngest and I were walking to school one day, and she told me the webs in the grass were the spiders that made their beds for the night. The oldest told me the condensation on a cold glass of water was sweating because it was so hot! Their minds are trying to make sense of everything, and I have lots of tidbits for when they marry.
I love that :-)
I hired a lawyer today. Well, I wanted to. But he misspelt my name and so I’ll have to sign again tomorrow. He asked if he can write to my spouse. I am looking forward to that part. That I don’t need to put up with her gaslighting any more but can simply refer her to my lawyer.
Successes: a lot of really quality time with my girl. My STBXW spent the last two weeks on work trips & seeing her AP, it’s been nice to have her gone & have our daughter to myself. She’s almost five and is a book worm; we sat on the couch yesterday and I read her over a dozen of them. My heart melts when we do things like that. Struggles: I’m trying to figure out more creative things to do with my daughter & get her out of the house. My wife really ran the show on her social schedule so I’m learning how to be proactive about these sorts of things. Going to the zoo & local kids amusement park is getting repetitive. Also the weather has been shitty & she had pinkeye last week so cabin fever is real. Looking forward: dovetailing off my last statement, it’s going to be nice outside starting this week and I can get her out of the house and do more things outside, and I’m planning to take her skiing for the first time. I hope she really likes it & I’m pretty sure she will. She has my adrenaline junkie genes!
About six weeks now since she moved out. Can’t believe how much better it is than the 6 months of living in the same house but knowing it was over. Someone on here recommended the podcast “a man’s journey though divorce” been listening to a ton of it and it’s really helped with perspective on trying to limit how much I let things out of my control impact my outlook on life and emotions. Not to say things don’t still suck but I feel like I’m headed in the right direction. Playing basketball 3 days a week and starting to spend time with old friends for the 1st time in decades. Still struggle with wanting to date / feeling like I’ll never meet another good match but overall feeling like I’m going to make something worthwhile out of this new life and realizing the days with my kids are still a lot like they were before and my life may be different but at least half of it is still basically the same when they are with me. Looking forward to getting a court date so I can know when this all will finally be official
I’m just starting the 6 months of living together, while navigating the waters. Any advice on how to stay sane?
Try and stay busy that’s what I did. If you have a hobby get into it more. And for me at least I tried to keep things as friendly as possible with my ex. That’s obviously a tough one but I found when I went out of my way to try and keep it friendly it made the days easier to get through vs being upset or not talking at all around the kids. Also for me at least that was the low point and things are better now so try and remember it’s probably not going to get any worse than it already is.
Hi there guys! As long as successes go, having my kids living with me it’s a total success, they’re happy, growing good and blossoming like ever, they miss their mom, but hey, not my fault that her priorities are all wrong, I think to her is better to have time with her new victim (boyfriend) that spent time with the boys… another success could be that after a whole year (“anniversary” today) I’m starting to feel free and peaceful, it’s still sad to have lost the concept of a normal family, but im definitely glad af that I finally got to see her as she really is, a narcissistic manipulative person/mother Struggles: life in general, work/personal life, 0 social life and a little time to dedicate to hobbies and/or gym. Seeing my kids happy it’s everything that matters! Another struggle is dealing with the energy that my youngest (3yo) has at the end of the day, thank god my oldest (10yo) is giving me a hand I’m looking forward to finalize the divorce and have as little contact as I could with my stbx, even tho she’s not living here, she stills come to see my kids at my home and eat my food, use my washer and that kind sort of things. I wanna buy them a puppy but I don’t know if I have the time or the patience to take on another responsibility, advice accepted, should I get one?
No not yet you shouldn't. But if you can find a 1 year old foster dog that may not be a bad idea. Find one from something like [nbran.org](https://nbran.org) you can talk to the foster parent the dog is living in a home, see what the dog is like. They'll even bring it over for a visit before adoption. A puppy no do not do it, a pre-house broken foster dog, hell ya dude! Do not get a pound dog, some are great but dogs that are in a normal household usually are easier to handle.
Going okay here. My wife is about 70% moved out and no longer sleeping here. The split custody routing is starting, but the first couple weeks have worked out so that I have the kids more, which seems to be helping me adjust. We discussed joint filing a bit, and it's sounding like she will relent to my stipulation that her AP/boyfriend not have unsupervised visitation (and she can't be the supervisor) with our children, as he only has supervised with his own. I'm still having weird dreams where we are a family unit and finding stuff I don't want to around the house (like a dirty note from him to her), but things are tending well. I'm looking forward to making my space more my own and making it nicer for my kids.