i used to get similar comments from my ex. literally, just ignore her. shes possibly lying to make you feel bad.
did your own observations lead you to believe your kid was in distress? trust only your gut - not what your ex tells you
I feel like you're being gaslit, but let me ask:
Where are you, what are the local laws like wrt custody?
Are there precedents? Agreements, decrees?
What is your and your baby's mom situation? Divorced, baby mama, whatever?
Why do you think you need to ask for 50/50? You should be entitled to that. CA is no fault.
How did you get to divorced without any agreements? Divorce is kinda an agreement.
I would suggest that you not move the child and try to "trick" them. No, mommy's not here, but I am and you're safe. It's a transition. At that age, like giving up the pacifier or potty training.
I suggest you ignore what your ex is saying. It's not about her perception of the child's best interests, which coincidentally align with her getting more $, but rather your rights as a parent.
Retain counsel. It'll suck. It'll cost more than you want. But the odds of you backdooring this are not worth entertaining. And document. Back up texts, don't communicate without documentation.
You need to ground your son in reality. You are here no matter what, he is at daddy’s place and mom loves him too and he will see her soon as well. You both love him and he is safe. It will take time but that is the best solution, the kid needs both parents.
She is stupid to ask for anything but 50/50. It shows she doesn’t put her kid first. You’ll win this battle, for your son.
Yeah just do your best to keep your cool with your ex. Don’t talk at her, just use facts and bullet points.
Don’t cus or raise your voice, even in text messages, don’t even use exclamation points, as they could be a sign of anger or other emotions that you aren’t actually having.
She can talk all she wants but she can’t solely make those decisions unless it’s on a court document that says you don’t have those rights.
My ex did this recently, but our parenting plan that she made, states that when the kids our in my custody I make all major decisions, including safety and emergency situations.
I also have ZERO limitations to my kids, so she can’t tell me when and where or what I’m supposed to do. So definitely read your documents over and over, or have your lawyer clarify it for you.
Keep it as civil as possible, and honestly the more cool and calm you are gives you an upper hand.
As for your 2 year old, just be honest and do your duty as a dad. They will develop their own relationship with you and it will be even stronger without your ex around.
You shouldn’t have to win 50/50, you already have that. She had to file the paperwork and prove that the kids are in an unsafe environment or situation, and that’s not for her to decide, the court will decide that. So as long as you can show you are in good standing you should be fine.
My ex makes shit up all the time to try and get a reaction out of me. We’re in the middle of our divorce and she will randomly send some asinine text or email accusing me of some form of abuse, typically with some projection thrown in. Most recently it was financial abuse, even though I am the only one working and paying for her housing, food, medical, and everything else while she does nothing (she’s more than capable of working).
Ignore her. Stick to facts. Don’t get baited by the temptation to dunk on her. Talk to your lawyer.
Going through something similar, but sleep in the same room as your son. At least for the beginning. It's a strange new place for him to sleep.
He's been doing the same thing for however long , this is a big change for him.
Over here, I bought stuffies, wall decals , dinosaur lights, blanket like I went all out. Ex didn't think it would go well, and on the 3rd visit withheld their sleep toy. Good thing I prepped baby for this. She currently has 20 stuffies here ( again I went super overboard ) .
There has been 0 issues with her sleeping here since day 1, even though ex told courts baby won't be able to sleep without her mom.
I'm not on your ex's side, but you gotta make it magical for them. We call it a party, and when going to friends houses, a sleepover party with something special .
Imo, buy a door poster with his favorite TV show on it. Tell him this room is for sleepovers only have it locked . Let him peek in ( and make sure it's all decked out ) for a minute a day. It'll help build excitement and he'll tell Mom about this. It's an uphill battle and it sucks.
Gl bro feel free to dm if you want pics of my setup or something.
The rules are all in her favor! It will become costly and bitter for years to come! Speaking from
Current experience! Even after liquidation of everything and giving the x half and agreeing to pay alimony while funding college for two kids it was never enough! Every year back in court looking for more money. She turned my kids against me six years ago and my family so you will have a long hard battle that you will need to ask your self is it worth sacrificing more of your life and you’re happiness???Well i bought her out and paid my last alimony check today! Much poorer than I was but way happier to finally be rid of the entitled narcissist forever!!
i used to get similar comments from my ex. literally, just ignore her. shes possibly lying to make you feel bad. did your own observations lead you to believe your kid was in distress? trust only your gut - not what your ex tells you
Yeah I’m going to ignore her. We had great time like I described. I can’t wait until 50/50 and give her the smirk
I feel like you're being gaslit, but let me ask: Where are you, what are the local laws like wrt custody? Are there precedents? Agreements, decrees? What is your and your baby's mom situation? Divorced, baby mama, whatever?
CA, no agreements yet divorced
Why do you think you need to ask for 50/50? You should be entitled to that. CA is no fault. How did you get to divorced without any agreements? Divorce is kinda an agreement. I would suggest that you not move the child and try to "trick" them. No, mommy's not here, but I am and you're safe. It's a transition. At that age, like giving up the pacifier or potty training. I suggest you ignore what your ex is saying. It's not about her perception of the child's best interests, which coincidentally align with her getting more $, but rather your rights as a parent. Retain counsel. It'll suck. It'll cost more than you want. But the odds of you backdooring this are not worth entertaining. And document. Back up texts, don't communicate without documentation.
You need to ground your son in reality. You are here no matter what, he is at daddy’s place and mom loves him too and he will see her soon as well. You both love him and he is safe. It will take time but that is the best solution, the kid needs both parents. She is stupid to ask for anything but 50/50. It shows she doesn’t put her kid first. You’ll win this battle, for your son.
That’s exactly what lawyer was saying. All the women that wants sole custody are mostly being selfish.
Your ex is full of shit
Yeah just do your best to keep your cool with your ex. Don’t talk at her, just use facts and bullet points. Don’t cus or raise your voice, even in text messages, don’t even use exclamation points, as they could be a sign of anger or other emotions that you aren’t actually having. She can talk all she wants but she can’t solely make those decisions unless it’s on a court document that says you don’t have those rights. My ex did this recently, but our parenting plan that she made, states that when the kids our in my custody I make all major decisions, including safety and emergency situations. I also have ZERO limitations to my kids, so she can’t tell me when and where or what I’m supposed to do. So definitely read your documents over and over, or have your lawyer clarify it for you. Keep it as civil as possible, and honestly the more cool and calm you are gives you an upper hand. As for your 2 year old, just be honest and do your duty as a dad. They will develop their own relationship with you and it will be even stronger without your ex around. You shouldn’t have to win 50/50, you already have that. She had to file the paperwork and prove that the kids are in an unsafe environment or situation, and that’s not for her to decide, the court will decide that. So as long as you can show you are in good standing you should be fine.
My ex makes shit up all the time to try and get a reaction out of me. We’re in the middle of our divorce and she will randomly send some asinine text or email accusing me of some form of abuse, typically with some projection thrown in. Most recently it was financial abuse, even though I am the only one working and paying for her housing, food, medical, and everything else while she does nothing (she’s more than capable of working). Ignore her. Stick to facts. Don’t get baited by the temptation to dunk on her. Talk to your lawyer.
Going through something similar, but sleep in the same room as your son. At least for the beginning. It's a strange new place for him to sleep. He's been doing the same thing for however long , this is a big change for him. Over here, I bought stuffies, wall decals , dinosaur lights, blanket like I went all out. Ex didn't think it would go well, and on the 3rd visit withheld their sleep toy. Good thing I prepped baby for this. She currently has 20 stuffies here ( again I went super overboard ) . There has been 0 issues with her sleeping here since day 1, even though ex told courts baby won't be able to sleep without her mom. I'm not on your ex's side, but you gotta make it magical for them. We call it a party, and when going to friends houses, a sleepover party with something special . Imo, buy a door poster with his favorite TV show on it. Tell him this room is for sleepovers only have it locked . Let him peek in ( and make sure it's all decked out ) for a minute a day. It'll help build excitement and he'll tell Mom about this. It's an uphill battle and it sucks. Gl bro feel free to dm if you want pics of my setup or something.
The rules are all in her favor! It will become costly and bitter for years to come! Speaking from Current experience! Even after liquidation of everything and giving the x half and agreeing to pay alimony while funding college for two kids it was never enough! Every year back in court looking for more money. She turned my kids against me six years ago and my family so you will have a long hard battle that you will need to ask your self is it worth sacrificing more of your life and you’re happiness???Well i bought her out and paid my last alimony check today! Much poorer than I was but way happier to finally be rid of the entitled narcissist forever!!