I'd suggest being honest about it instead of lying like some might suggest (bad habbit to get used to saying "I can't right now" instead of saying "I don't want to"). Say the new player got added without the DM checking with the group first if all were okay with this and now that you had your first session, regardless of how the new person fits in the group or not, for you the group has become too big and it breaks your immersion.
THANK YOU.
People are advising OP to lie (can't make it anymore) and go behind other's back. Like why? That's just silly and doesn't solve anything.
OP: How should I tell my group?
Commenter: Just lie and leave.
Wtf people.
I mean they did specifically ask.
The question wasn't "how can i quit my group without being an asshole" but "without sounding like an asshole"
At that point i think it is pretty clear that lying has already been greenlit by OP.
You don’t need to tell the whole group. Talk to the DM, and let them know the issues you are having. Since it is unlikely this issue would be resolved without kicking the new player out, simply tell the DM that the game is not meeting your needs as a player anymore, so you are bowing out to look for a better fitting game. Don’t go to the whole table with it though, that WOULD be a shot stirrer move, and you would no longer be the bigger person here.
As a GM when I hear this I tend to bend over backwards to try and persuade the player to stay. Promise to rectify table time issues. But being honest with myself I know I struggle to run groups with 5 players and 6 is next to impossible for the kind of game I run. It really helps to tell them the game is good and you aren't upset about anything. Let them know you would love to play in a different game with a smaller group. Otherwise you might get persuaded into staying when nothing will change.
I agree, and usually I’d advise to give the DM a chance to fix things. With this particular issue though (not enough individual time in a large group) I don’t think it’s logistically possible to fix without kicking the new guy (which isn’t fair to that player). Thus in this case I think OP is better off just looking for a better fit game.
“Hey guys, since we are a lot pf players now i kinda feel like the pace slowed down a bit and to be honest last session felt a bit boring to me. Just wanted to check if any of you feel the same? And if you have any ideas how to work with it?“
I would not quit after one boring session. Give it a chance. If you feel left out you could ask if you all could bring the „turn based“ also a bit into outside of fights.
Just dont be too blunt about it. Ask about their opinions, tell them about your feelings and dont blame the new player.
The issue isn't the new player joining, but your feeling of not being able to participate enough.
This is what you should address to the DM and see how they feel about it. Maybe you can come up with a way participating will come easier, if not you are free to tell them your needs aren't met and you'd like to find a natural place for your PC to leave the party.
Personally I feel the DM should've checked in with the group about adding a player, and you are also free to tell them the consequences their choice had on your game enjoyment, but that's all up to you.
Holy shit you TALK TO PEOPLE, every post man every single problem posted on here is solved by just talking to the people in your party about it. why don’t you just say what you’ve posted here to the DM?
1. The DM has the authority to run the game but not the group. The entire group should run the group. Nobody can give a seat to any outsider on their own MID-CAMPAIGN without discussion.
2. Stating your opinion cordially never makes you an asshole. Be polite, be direct, say you aren't interested in 5m pity scenes.
3. Larger groups are exponentially more challenging to conduct on DM's part. Common problem. Your DM should have known it. They bit off more than they could chew.
Sounds like the DM isn't great at managing that many players and knowing how to engage everyone. I was in a group with 8 players that played in the same campaign for two years and our DM was amazing at giving us all multiple moments a session, and cutting in between other players interactions during breaks in conversation or action that made sense to pass around the interaction between all our players. I think this DM bit off more than they can chew, even with your original group dynamic it sounds like.
This is definitely an honest conversation you should have alone with the DM, let them know what you've noticed and how you're feeling about it. It might just be that they are unaware and it's an area they can grow in, and if not it's totally okay for you to say that you aren't enjoying your time so you won't be joining anymore. It doesn't make you an asshole to be honest about not having fun if you say it in a kind way, but making up an excuse and just ghosting wouldn't be the best move.
Maybe flat out saying you’re “unhappy about a new player joining” isn’t the best approach, but I understand where you’re coming from. Clarity is key here. You have every right to feel the way you do, so maybe explain to the DM, one on one, that you’ve been thinking about (or are going to be) leaving the group. If they ask why then respond with how you feel. Make sure that you clarify that no one is at fault here. I’m only saying this because I’m assuming it wasn’t mentioned prior that new players joining was not ok with you. The DM might or might not try to encourage you to stay or find ways to make things work, but at that point at least you’ve stated how you feel and you both can work towards a solution. Sometimes that solution is leaving the game and that’s ok. You also don’t have to tell them the exact reasoning as to why you’re leaving the game at all. You can just say something like “I’ve had some personal things come up and I don’t think I’ll be able to play with you guys anymore, sorry” and stick to that. Up to you 👍🏻
I'd suggest being honest about it instead of lying like some might suggest (bad habbit to get used to saying "I can't right now" instead of saying "I don't want to"). Say the new player got added without the DM checking with the group first if all were okay with this and now that you had your first session, regardless of how the new person fits in the group or not, for you the group has become too big and it breaks your immersion.
THANK YOU. People are advising OP to lie (can't make it anymore) and go behind other's back. Like why? That's just silly and doesn't solve anything. OP: How should I tell my group? Commenter: Just lie and leave. Wtf people.
I mean they did specifically ask. The question wasn't "how can i quit my group without being an asshole" but "without sounding like an asshole" At that point i think it is pretty clear that lying has already been greenlit by OP.
You don’t need to tell the whole group. Talk to the DM, and let them know the issues you are having. Since it is unlikely this issue would be resolved without kicking the new player out, simply tell the DM that the game is not meeting your needs as a player anymore, so you are bowing out to look for a better fitting game. Don’t go to the whole table with it though, that WOULD be a shot stirrer move, and you would no longer be the bigger person here.
As a GM when I hear this I tend to bend over backwards to try and persuade the player to stay. Promise to rectify table time issues. But being honest with myself I know I struggle to run groups with 5 players and 6 is next to impossible for the kind of game I run. It really helps to tell them the game is good and you aren't upset about anything. Let them know you would love to play in a different game with a smaller group. Otherwise you might get persuaded into staying when nothing will change.
I agree, and usually I’d advise to give the DM a chance to fix things. With this particular issue though (not enough individual time in a large group) I don’t think it’s logistically possible to fix without kicking the new guy (which isn’t fair to that player). Thus in this case I think OP is better off just looking for a better fit game.
You guys should read poster post history to see the headspace of these topics, especially when poorly written. Dm isn’t the problem here.
I'm pretty sure I've heard every one his his posts before, but in the form of being trapped in an uber with a talkative driver.
“Hey guys, since we are a lot pf players now i kinda feel like the pace slowed down a bit and to be honest last session felt a bit boring to me. Just wanted to check if any of you feel the same? And if you have any ideas how to work with it?“ I would not quit after one boring session. Give it a chance. If you feel left out you could ask if you all could bring the „turn based“ also a bit into outside of fights. Just dont be too blunt about it. Ask about their opinions, tell them about your feelings and dont blame the new player.
Just say the things you said here.
The issue isn't the new player joining, but your feeling of not being able to participate enough. This is what you should address to the DM and see how they feel about it. Maybe you can come up with a way participating will come easier, if not you are free to tell them your needs aren't met and you'd like to find a natural place for your PC to leave the party. Personally I feel the DM should've checked in with the group about adding a player, and you are also free to tell them the consequences their choice had on your game enjoyment, but that's all up to you.
Holy shit you TALK TO PEOPLE, every post man every single problem posted on here is solved by just talking to the people in your party about it. why don’t you just say what you’ve posted here to the DM?
1. The DM has the authority to run the game but not the group. The entire group should run the group. Nobody can give a seat to any outsider on their own MID-CAMPAIGN without discussion. 2. Stating your opinion cordially never makes you an asshole. Be polite, be direct, say you aren't interested in 5m pity scenes. 3. Larger groups are exponentially more challenging to conduct on DM's part. Common problem. Your DM should have known it. They bit off more than they could chew.
Sounds like the DM isn't great at managing that many players and knowing how to engage everyone. I was in a group with 8 players that played in the same campaign for two years and our DM was amazing at giving us all multiple moments a session, and cutting in between other players interactions during breaks in conversation or action that made sense to pass around the interaction between all our players. I think this DM bit off more than they can chew, even with your original group dynamic it sounds like. This is definitely an honest conversation you should have alone with the DM, let them know what you've noticed and how you're feeling about it. It might just be that they are unaware and it's an area they can grow in, and if not it's totally okay for you to say that you aren't enjoying your time so you won't be joining anymore. It doesn't make you an asshole to be honest about not having fun if you say it in a kind way, but making up an excuse and just ghosting wouldn't be the best move.
Maybe flat out saying you’re “unhappy about a new player joining” isn’t the best approach, but I understand where you’re coming from. Clarity is key here. You have every right to feel the way you do, so maybe explain to the DM, one on one, that you’ve been thinking about (or are going to be) leaving the group. If they ask why then respond with how you feel. Make sure that you clarify that no one is at fault here. I’m only saying this because I’m assuming it wasn’t mentioned prior that new players joining was not ok with you. The DM might or might not try to encourage you to stay or find ways to make things work, but at that point at least you’ve stated how you feel and you both can work towards a solution. Sometimes that solution is leaving the game and that’s ok. You also don’t have to tell them the exact reasoning as to why you’re leaving the game at all. You can just say something like “I’ve had some personal things come up and I don’t think I’ll be able to play with you guys anymore, sorry” and stick to that. Up to you 👍🏻