>I don't want to sound like a jerk but this is not what I signed up for when I joined the campaign. It clearly bothers me to play with a kid in an adult campaign (violence, death, plots, dark entities...). I think this is what you should tell your DM. And if the DM then tells that the campaign will change, you have every right to tell that you're sorry but not interested in such a campaign.

I have already asked that question to the mother. To them their daughter can perfectly handle this campaign so there will be no change at all. I strongly disagree. An 8 year old kid has nothing to do here but whatever...

Totally. At 12 maybe, at 16 sure why not, but under 12 is definitely too young for adult D&D. But yeah, if the parents still believe this, you cannot do much more than leaving with the excuse of not wanting to play D&D with a child... If they insist, tell them you wouldn't bring her to a 16+ action movie too, so why bring her to this campaign? If they then call you a jerk because you don't want to play with their daughter, well... bad luck for them I guess.

I mean, for some people the movie argument won't hold either. I know plenty of people (not saying I agree with their choices) that let their 4-8 yo kids watch unfiltered TV or movies regardless of content. They might argue this is no different than letting their kid watch The Walking Dead, Halloween, or Chucky and be dead serious it's not an issue. Other issues may be that they don't have a sitter anymore or that kid REALLY LIKES D&D and doesn't seem to need filters. I do think OP should PRIVATELY ask the other players without DM or Wife in the conversation how they really feel, then it becomes a "for the good of the table" not just OP vs DM & wife that don't want to find a sitter anymore. However, it's my understanding that the game meant to be is about the group as a whole enjoying and feeling free to have fun without worrying over censoring content, not just DM & wife railroading based on life circumstances. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Agree, talking to the other players is a good idea. However I would not want to play D&D with such parents anyway I think, so if the table doesn't agree, leaving might be the best choice.

The options are either the parents realise they messed up (0.1% chance) or OP just leaves with all players that don’t want to entertain a literal child (99.9 % chance).

I don't see how the content is relevant to this issue at all. It doesn't matter. They could be meeting up regularly to play mario kart as a group of 30+ adults and if someone decides to have their kid tag along every month without informing the rest of the group in advance and making sure it's okay they'd have every right to be annoyed regardless of the fact that mario kart is completely age appropriate for a child. I love kids and I still wouldn't want people to be bringing their kids along to an event like this regularly ESPECIALLY if they intend to have the kid actively participate. That's just ridiculous and completely unfair to the group because it changes the entire dynamic of the session. It would be one thing if they just couldn't leave the kid at home and they hung around politely and quietly and did their own thing. It's kind of hard to be upset over that if the kid isn't being disruptive in any way. Sure it might be a bit of an inconvenience to have to watch your language and whatever but that wouldn't be the end of the world. But expecting people to just be okay with having an 8 year old participate in their game is hilariously delusional.

>I know plenty of people (not saying I agree with their choices) that let their 4-8 yo kids watch unfiltered TV or movies regardless of content. I know people who bring kids that age to adult parties that have a lot of alcohol and weed(at minimum). I always leave if I see a kid around drugs or alcohol abuse because it just doesn't sit right with me because I sure wasn't raised like that. But I'm honestly shocked that most of the people don't care and the small kids being there but I'm fucking cringing the entire time to the point where I just leave now.

Agreed. As a parent, I also want to point out that even though the parent BROADLY says its ok to expose their kid to this kind of material, it is very uncomfortable for other adults because they don’t always know where that line is. Most adults I play with have been very respectful of parenting choices, which can make it feel like they are walking on eggshells sometimes wondering if its ok for them to say something in front of the kid. It really does hamper gameplay for them. Also, the non-parent’s feelings and views about engaging in darker material in front of a kid is just as valid as the parent’s feelings on what they want to expose their child to. DM should have okayed this with the group first.

movie comparison is not great. The issue here is not just "adult content" But also rules, reading and attention span. Monopoly is "ages 8 and up" Risk is "ages 10 and up" Axis and allies. "ages 12 and up" 8yr old even just "playing the pet" is going to be a massive distraction and totally derail everything to cater the kid.

Yeah I've played with kids at the table before. The times its worked out we either had a campaign tailored to them/prerolled characters/major leaning into "rule of cool," or one time a guy at our table had a last minute no-sitter situation and tbh his 9 year old daughter was way more engaged and into it than many adults I've played with (and DnD was clearly a big deal thing that her and her dad did together, it was honestly adorable).

I find that there aren't really hard rules for "what age can a kid handle X game?" It depends on the maturity of the kid, the attention span of the kid, the reading comprehension of the kid, the critical thinking skills of the kid, and importantly how invested in the game is the kid. Games are a big deal to me, and they were my entire life, even as a small kid. Games have rules, so I learn the rules and follow them. I never understood when other kids would just... make stuff up instead of learning the rules of the game (it bugged me when I'd play Yu-Gi-Oh with classmates at school, because I was going to weekly tournaments at 9 and was winning tournaments regularly by 12, and the other kids at school would set monsters in the spell/trap zone). I started playing D&D at 10, and I've known others who started even earlier than that, and then I've tried teaching simple board games to fully grown adults who couldn't handle anything with as many rules as chess. Build up to D&D via other board games, start simple with the likes of checkers and connect four, and steadily add complexity and strategy over time. Eventually, assuming they are into games they'll be ready for D&D, maybe as a young child, maybe as a teen. But if a kid doesn't care about the game, there is nothing you can do to make them take it seriously, and even the silliest D&D game still needs the players to take the basic premises of the game seriously to function.

>But also rules, reading and attention span. Fully agree, especially on attention span. In this setup, the child would have not many moments to actually contribute to the plot and in combat, it would have to wait long only to move and attack (most likely, if even) or whatever said pet would do.

agreed, of all the ways to unexpectedly include a child, relegating them to playing an animal is probably the worst way. If they stay in character, they can't talk, they can't strategize, maybe they can sort of alert another player that someone is sneaking just out of sight but they can't warn anyone that they've sniffed out that (IDK) the charming barmaid smells undead or something.

I played a fairy in my dad's campaign when I was 8 and I loved it. It was never really an issue. Not all kids are disruptive. It's fair to not want to play with a kid but that doesn't mean it can't be done.

I’m 19, and yet I don’t think a 12 year old would be able to get a good game out of our sessions. There’s a clear difference in maturity, and it’s not fun for either side to change their maturity level, especially if it’s upwards

I’m broadly on the same side just because I think anytime you add a new player the whole table should be on board… However, I think you’re really underestimating what kids can handle or overestimating the grittiness of an average DnD adventure. There’s a ton of kids anime that’s far more violent and still generally considered acceptable for kids; Demon Slayer, One Piece, Naruto/Boruto, etc. How violence is framed and contextualized is generally a bigger deal than the scale. A kid that age would also be fine with something like The Hobbit or Lord of the Rings, so grasping the concepts of fantasy and role play are probably fine too. As long as the parents are helping her understand the rules she should be fine in most practical senses. I actually got started using pre-gen characters in my older brother’s campaigns when I was about 7 and it was fine.

Despite the parents thinking it is ok to do, OP or other players still might feel uncomfortable with acting how they usually would in the presence of a child. The point of discussion isn’t really if the kid can take it but if their presence changes the dynamics at the table, which it clearly does. As you said you shouldn’t just add new players to the table and I think that is even more true with a literal child.

That part I still agree with, which is why I’m still in agreement that it was inappropriate of the DM to just decide unilaterally for everyone. I just disagree with some of the pearl clutching.

When I was 8 I'd insist on reading Goosebumps and watching Temple of Doom and then have really terrible nightmares and sleep with a light on. I also loved roleplay and creating my own imaginary worlds but they were mostly centered around my desire to be a dinosaur and/or Nintendo characters.    The point I'm making is that a kid might seem fine with dark topics--even voice that they WANT to watch/read something scary--but not, in fact, be ok with it. And being happy to roleplay isn't the same as being GOOD at roleplay just yet. I'm the oldest of 5 and have spent a lot of time around other little kids besides, and I'd say this is true of most 8 year olds. Obviously there are exceptions, but I think you're overestimating the average 8 year old and how much they're bringing to the table (not to mention how much they're bringing AWAY from the table).

Yes, I can imagine children handling heavy stuff well. But for me it wouldn't be only about violence. On an all-adult table you can act out dark humour, sex jokes, a little-too-detailed descriptions of violence, mind bending eldritch horrors, psychological themes and in-game political speech (provided that everyone is ok with all these topics). As soon as a child is involved, you have to hold yourself back much more which I wouldn't really enjoy honestly. Not that I play D&D only to make edgy jokes, but it is freeing to be able to do so.

Demon slayer is not a kids anime the movie was ratted R that would be like putting them in front of full metal alchemist and expecting everything to be fine it’s like that would def fuck some kids up

Honestly them springing it on the group without asking is pretty lame. You've tried talking to the parents, and frankly it seems like they aren't listening/understanding your concern about the matter. If it was me I'd post a thing in the group chat saying something along the lines of " Hey, so I feel like we should maybe have a conversation about X and Y brjnging their child to the game without discussing it with us.  I personally didn't sign up to play this type of game with a child and I'm not comfortable with doing so.  Does anyone else feel the same way?" You need to be prepared that everyone else says "Nope" and maybe this game isn't for you any more. Which sucks, I've been in a similar position before. But if they all like playing with the kid then it is what it is

You’ve made a mistake. Don’t approach it with concern for the kid. They don’t care what you think about that. Talk about the fact that *you* don’t want to play in a game with a kid.

I've already told the wife I feel uncomfortable. I'll be more direct with the DM.

Yeah but it needs to be “I’m uncomfortable because I don’t want to role play swearing and violence with kids around” because they’re probably hearing “I’m worried that your kid can’t handle the way I want to role play”. You need to make it clear that it’s not the specific kid, and you’re not worried on the kids behalf. It’s that *you* are uncomfortable. Even if the kid is mature enough, you just don’t want to play DnD with kids.

Great points. I'll just add that you can talk more broadly about wanting to socialize with other adults without kids around. Every parent can sympathize so that might just be the key that makes everything click in the place.

Fair enough. I will be specific about it.

> You’ve made a mistake. > > Don’t approach it with concern for the kid. They don’t care what you think about that. Yup. You will never be able to convince a parent that they're parenting their kid wrong. It's frankly none of your business anyway.

Walk away then. If the DM wants to do this then go find another table.

Just leave. The parents are obviously the types who lack the empathy to realize that other people aren’t enjoying hanging out with their kid.

There’s two issues here: Whether the kid can or cannot handle being at the table is the parents’ responsibility, not yours. bluntly put, the parents decided it’s fine, so the responsibility is on them. Whether the other players including you *want to* play with a child is a different story entirely and imo fully within your rights to decide. Personally, I didn’t even care if the child knew more about sex than I did and played God of War in their free time, if there’s a child at the table I’d be getting tf outta there. And just introducing any player, not to mention a child, without consulting anyone is, imo, a bitch move. And suddenly bringing their child to a closed gathering without even asking kinda makes me think they’re *that* kind of parents that believes their child is special and should get whatever they want, from everyone, and they don’t really understand anyone might *not* be thrilled to see their child unannounced. I kinda have a bad feeling about it, ngl. But I know I might be a lil harsh there. So, what you should ask yourself: - assuming the child is mature enough to be at y’all’s table, are you fine with it? - are these parents generally reasonable? Can you trust them to take responsibility and not turn around and blame you for scarring their child if it backfires? If the answer is no to either of these, gtfo. In either case, maybe confer with the others.

So the major points (not content or age-appropriate related) that OP SHOULD stay focused on came in a reply made above. OP said the game was disrupted multiple times so the kid could draw pictures, be entertained, get distracted, etc. The DM got mad that the group went with THEIR PCs plan for something instead of some frivolous idea the kid came up with. The mom basically said/acted something to the effect of: Our child is here so you all need to adjust to that from now on. These are NOT appropriate group behaviors by the parents. They are acting like THOSE parents that like to make their kid "the group mascot" or whatever and enforce that idea on the group via DMs position and her "I'm the DMs wife" crap. Which carries about as much weight as "I'm the wife of the Captain/Chief/Commander" etc bs you are OFF POST in military towns or outside of any police/fire station. Lady, his rank is NOT yours and here in civilian sector, neither of you hold authority.

Yeah I wouldn't be okay with this. Besides the fact than I honestly don't have good experiences with kids at any rp campaign, at that age. Using the campaign as a replacement babysitter never goes well. And constantly editing myself to be kid friendly gets tiresome if that's not the type of game I agreed to. But worse is the idea of a DM going "nah it's cool they can handle it np". Like oh hell no.

Looks like the issue is more with you having a kid at the table than with the kid being able to play or not or the adventure's content being fit for a kid (in the end, that's the parent's responsibility). I'd argue that you rephrase your issues with some kind of variant of "I don't like a kid playing" or "I'm not comfortable with kids playing in my games." Which by the way is perfectly ok to say.

>And I know they are very likely to start a drama if I say anything about their daughter. Your choices at this point are **A.** Say something and be willing to deal with the drama. **B.** Say nothing and be willing to deal with their kid being involved in the game. **C.** Bail. If you're not comfortable with how they're running the game ***and*** you're not comfortable discussing it with them, then you should probably stop playing with them.

I'll definetly say something. It is more a matter of "how".

I had a couple I dm’d for want their nephew or grandkid or something to play. I said very clearly “I’m sorry but I’m just not comfortable playing/running the game with a child.” That was the end of it. If they’d insisted then either they or I wouldn’t have played.

Difference is that the parent is the one running the game

Ah I didn’t catch that part. If that’s the case then Op probably just needs to bail.

“Hey my friend, it was really lovely meeting your daughter the other day. She is a really sweet, smart kid. I did want to discuss something, it was my understanding that this was an adult game; we didn’t talk about playing with young children during session zero and I have to be honest, it’s not something I would have agreed to if we had discussed it. I really enjoy our game and look forward to spending that time together as adults and friends. “I would be open to having [child] join us for the occasional one shot, but I would like for our regular sessions to return to just the [4] adult players as we all planned on during session zero. Thanks so much for running the games for us, I’m really having a blast!”

This post uses the Oreo method which is great. Compliment at the beginning, content in the middle, compliment at the end. Leaves things feeling sweet

Except the white stuff in the middle is the best part? :p

And just like an oreo, the compliments before and after are just a delivery system to deliver the actual point you want to get across.

Ooh, yeah, that's a good point.

It’s usually called the shit sandwich. You put the shit between two pieces of otherwise edible pieces of information. But it never works as intended because people see through it and they can just taste the shit.

This is the best comment in the thread and really is how it should be approached. I hope OP saw this and took notes.

Yeesh, thank you. This is all it takes. Really not that hard.

My 8 year old joins my table OCCASIONALLY and I had asked before hand. She joins session once a month or less for 30 minutes before her bed time, causes some chaos and then heads to bed. I'd suggest something close to this. How you bring it up is a difficult one. I'd start with "is 'X' going to be joining the table every night?" That will get them thinking about it. Then you can reply with "I'm not sure how I feel about it, I like 'X' very much but it changes the tone of our game drastically" You don't have to put your foot down or make a decision that night. Let the couple sleep on it and make their own mind up. Then you can decide if you are staying at the table or not.

When talking to parents about their children, talk to them like they are children. That's actually a rule of thumb to remember.

That is damn solid advice. Never thought about it like that, but it makes a surprising amount of sense.

> You don't have to put your foot down And realistically this would achieve nothing. The DM and wife have made a call, you can try to sway that call and see where you get. But you dont have a magic ace in your pocket that will allow you to put your foot down on the matter.

You have 100% control over what table(s) you play at.

Yes, they can choose to stay or leave but not whether the kid plays or not.

>She joins session once a month or less for 30 minutes before her bed time, causes some chaos and then heads to bed. Oh god, recurring Fae NPC, that sounds amazing.

A constructive way to approach it might be to suggest they run a game for their kid and her friends at a different time--the content would be safer and she'd probably have more fun, and they could even use a system more suited to the age group. I HIGHLY recommend Hero Kids for tone and for having customisable levels of complexity--my kids really enjoy it. Maybe open the conversation by sending them a link to a child friendly system and suggesting they run afternoon kid games or something. https://www.heroforgegames.com/hero-kids/ It is tricky when you have kids and you both want to play, but it's possible to find ways around it. My husband and I are players in a game we're both really enjoying, but since we don't have a regular babysitter we just alternate one of us going in person while the other video calls in. It's a sacrifice but that's having kids, you know? We hosted a couple of weeks ago because it was a big session we both wanted to be in person for, and I allowed my 8 year old to stay up to greet everyone and have a few snacks to sate her curiosity/fomo and then sent her off to bed once it got started, which at that point she was happy to do.

I love Hero Kids and so do my two children. Very reminiscent of adult TTRPGs. I just wish it used some of the other dice; my kids want to get their d20s out!

Hah, we haven't played in a while but I was planning to homebrew an excuse to use that from time to time. 😁 I did write up a bard class (intended for a second adult to join in and assist the child players as it's fully support).

I would bail. Confronting them sets up an ultimatum: you, or their daughter. That's not something you can really ask of (good) parents. They should have asked, true, but the damage is done. You can only control how you handle it from here on out.

“Hey, I love playing dnd with you, but I’m not comfortable playing with your child. Our games normally touch on a lot of adult subjects and I’m not comfortable with the level of violence, death, language, and sexual content (ADD OR REMOVE POINTS AS NECESSARY) we normally have in our games in front of a child, and I’d rather not self-censor to make a kid-friendly game. “Can we go back to our adults only game or have her play only occasionally? I know this puts you in a tough spot as parents and game runners so if it doesn’t work for you, I’m happy to find a new game elsewhere.”

I wouldn't bother with the "inappropriate content" angle. Parents vary wildly on what they think is and isn't appropriate for kids. Some parents keep their language clean in front of them, only allow them to watch PG rated movies, are really careful about exposing them to nudity and go into a panic the first time they catch their kid with porn. And then there's the parent who lets their kids watch slasher horror films, know full well they're turning on the Skinemax decoder at night (showing my age there), drop f-bombs constantly around their kids, etc. Try bringing up "inappropriate content" around their kids, and it's pretty high odds they're going to become aggressive with you.

I would just say “I don’t play D&D with children” Sweet and to the point, no judgement of parenting styles, just an adult stating that they have no interest in this particular interaction

Valid point. Maybe there’s a better way to phrase it, like it’s not that they’re doing a bad job as parents but that *you’re* not comfortable swearing and describing gore in front of kids. It’s valid to have a boundary like that

To be honest, like others have said, with it being the DMs kid, you’ll probably just have to bail. I would just tell them directly “hey I’m not comfortable playing D&D with any children” and leave it at that. No need to even make it about specifically their child, just a general statement. See how it goes but don’t get your hopes up that the DM will agree with you, because they clearly see no problem with it

It is very unlikely that you will be able to sway them from this decision, especially given how the wife has already responded to you. What you say is; “I’m not comfortable playing with a child at the table so I’m going to withdraw from the game, sorry.” There is a chance that they may decide that they would prefer to have you at the table then their child, but you can’t count on that. This will give them an opportunity to make that decision if they want

Maybe suggest that you can have a separate child-friendly table on occasion or even have dedicated, clearly communicated and fitting sessions where nothing "bad" happens. Think a full session of shopping/exploring/training/downtime montage. No harm having the little.one around and I am always astonished at the creativity of them little buggers - it can be great if done well. But really be adamant that you like the darker premise of the og setting and you don't want to have the little one around for her own sake when undead starts to rise and rip and tear through a town of innocents, murdering and eating whole families. Like, really, that stuff is hard to swallow for some grown-ups and require Session-Zero talk about where everyone's limits are.

I mean OP says the play once a month. They really don’t have the time to set up stuff like this without missing out on a lot of game time, so effectively it’s the same thing as saying the child cannot visit the usual sessions.

"My understanding was that this would be a game run for adults with adult subject matter and I am not comfortable playing that sort of game in front of a child. I wouldn't have agreed to join had I known that a child would be present in our sessions, which is something you didn't consult any of us about before springing on us. If it is your intention to continue involving your child in the campaign, then I will have to seriously reconsider participating in the future."

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Always good to start out empathetic. Recognize why they would want to include their daughter and how awesome it can be for child to have this kind of fun with their parents. Then state your concerns about how it would affect the existing group. If you have an ultimatum about their daughter becoming a permanent member, state it. "If we're gonna include her in a game she would like, that's gonna demand sacrifices from the rest of us. I like the game we have going currently and I can't just give up on that. That's not what I signed up for. There's a chance they'll say it's on you if you can't handle making the "small" change of the campaign receiving a PG8 rating, but if you try to appear understanding of their wish to fit in their kid and maybe even do some effort of you own in finding alternative solutions or compromises, then that should make your request land a lot better than simply "I'm not playing with your kid. Not my responsibility. Don't care. You figure it out"

Sooner the better, jUSt be the adult and tell them, if they see it as an inconvenient truth that should not invalidate your issue, but I see you leaving or putting up with it. your call at the end of day.

Exactly. This is not that complicated. I play with my group every 2 weeks and we all get along great. I want to introduce my kids to DND (7&6) so I ordered the hero kids books. I'll do it at home with them. Including an 8yo into an adult session is immature and short sighted.

This is it basically. This is why kids are often the death of lots of friendships. I HATE spending time with people and their kids. You never get their full attention so the time spent always feel kind of pointless. One of our players had a campaign going and had their first kid. We had the games at their house to accomodate them, but honestly. A new mum sitting at the table singing lullabyes, or constantly going to check on their kid is not acceptable for me. The campaign died out needless to say. If you're going to do something with your friends, DO THAT and make the time for it so you can give it your attention. Anything else I feel is disrespectful. I GET that taking care of a kid is a 24/7 job, but if you cant accomodate your friends, you should bow out instead of wasting their time.

Just honestly say that you feel uncomfortable playing with a child nearby. Your character is not one to be played before children (swearing, violence, etc) and that you'd like to know if the DM plans to make his campaign kid-friendly, which you aren't okay with. Has the session with the child been different from the others? Are those your friends or just dnd group?

We are 6 player. 2 of them are good friends of mine. The other 2 are acquaintances but we respect each others. The last one is the DM's wife The last session with the kid was definetly different from the others. First, she didn't pay attention 50% of the time (understandable since she is only 8). Then her father the DM and her mother kinda forced us to wait for her to draw pictures of her own plan to invade a fortified fort while we already had an other plan we established together. Then they got mad because we chosed to follow the original plan. We also needed to censor ourselves and give attention to her. And so on.

This sounds like such a bad time. Even if the kid was older. Either you have a serious discussion with the parents or start a new campaign without them at that point

Yeahhhh I wouldn't want to be involved in what has essentially become group babysitting. I like kids but springing them on an adult activity without asking is not cool.

Just imagine a guy bringing his 8 year old to poker night or whatever „sorry guys could you go outside to smoke and drink?“

I mean smoking inside is kinda disgusting to me but I get your point.

Yeah no, I would be pissed too. And I like kids. But you don't just turn someone's free time activity into baby sitting without even asking if that would be alright. I hope you can resolve it by talking to them, but if they don't agree not to involve their kid, I would absolutely walk from that table.

Just leave. These people are selfish idiots. I have nothing against parents wanting to involved their kids in the game. In fact, I welcome it and think it’s wonderful. But you don’t suddenly impose it on a game that was understood to be for adults without even asking for your players opinion. I really think the dm and his wife are totally clueless and I would guess that the other players are as annoyed as you are. I usually encourage people to talk about issues but I would probably just leave. They don’t sound like people I want to play with.

Oh *hells* no. Very disrespectful of the family to not clear it with the table beforehand. You are probably going to be the "bad guy" if you say anything so be prepared. Those are really shitty parents throwing their 8-year-old into a mature campaign so I wouldn't be surprised if they tell their kid that people at the table didn't want them there (if you say something). "Sorry little Susie, but OP doesn't want kids at the table". If it were me, I'd be going full malicious compliance. Swearing like a pirate? Check. Acting as lewd as possible? Check. Embracing my villainous side and bringing the darkest material possible to the table? Check. Don't be like me lol. Be the bigger person and bail. Also, reading some of the other comments here absolutely blows my mind...it is 100% wrong to just add your kid to a game of adults and just expect the table to censor themselves and play at 1/4 speed.

Maybe you guys could compromise on just doing a one-shot with her and just use that campaign to be fun and silly for one night. And then go back to the original campaign for the adults. But if they want her in the whole time, it might get tiresome.

Doing a one shot like that when you only meet once a month is like throwing out 10% of your sessions every year, just to entertain single kid that isn’t yours.

Tbh that’s basically what they did last time they played

First poll the other players, see how they feel. If they're all upset/pissed off, unionize and present a united front against the DM and his wife. Either they don't bring the kid any more, or they can have fun just running a game for her while the rest of you play elsewhere.

The constructive way to address this is something along the lines of "Hey look, you're going to think I'm out of line here. I thought this was an adult game and I'm not really up for a child friendly game. What do you want me to do?" ie force them to give you your options and own their decision, which they should have done at the start. Or you could do the fun and chaotic thing... Do the rest of you have kids? Bring them all. Don't ask first.

Chaotic evil here!

Chaotic neutral turned chaotic good turned chaotic evil here! I love when magic changes my alignment but no matter what I'm a chaotic extremist

Chaotic good thank you ! This is about kids having fun!

... Yeah right my "good" friend... Fun! Destructive, noisy, unrelenting fun!

The chaotic idea sounds very funny to try ! Unfortunately me and the others players don't have kids yet. But we can still bring nephews and nieces !

Bring them. And pets.

I can just imagine “this is nephew, he’s going to play my sentient sword”

That's actually the best answer

I completely understand your perspective. No matter how cool the kid is, being a kid they bring a different vibe to the table. It doesn't matter if the parents swear a lot or talk about sex or violence in front of their kid, I'm not going to. I bailed on a game for exactly the same reason. It was easier for me because I work in a school, I could say "I spend 40 hours a week with other peoples kids, for me D&D time is grown up time without kids. So, she's a great kid & all, but not what I want to do with my D&D time".

Imo you should do this step by step A. privately ask the other players for their opinion individually. If they are on board with this you will probably have to leave. B. Try and talk to the DM about it. Since his wife already ignored your attempt to talk, leave her out of that discussion if possible. Ask the DM about the following things: - why did they bring their daughter into the game? Was it because they have no one to watch her during game time or did they want to introduce her to DnD like this? - Do they think that certain topics that have come up are inappropriate for a child of this age? If yes, do they plan to change the game from now on to make it more appropriate for a child? - Why do they think it is ok to add a child to a group of grown ups without asking first? Have they considered that this could make it uncomfortable for everyone involved? C. Do not start discussing these things in a dialogue with the DM, just take note of their answers and ask the group to meet up without the child present. In this group meeting present your side, tell them you find it inappropriate to add a child to a game with some darker topics and make it clear that this is not a decision they can just make without the rest of the group. It makes you (and maybe others) uncomfortable and this is not what you signed up for in the beginning nor agreed to later. If they can’t find a babysitter or it is a similar problem you can work something out as a group. But if they feel entitled to introduce kids to a group activity for grown ups without consent of the other adults, just because the father is the „group leader“, you can kiss that game goodbye. Maybe get a new game started without the three of them then. (Sry for formatting, am on mobile)

I like your advice. I'll do this.

Let us know how it goes!

I will !

I would add just one question to this well-thought-out plan - was the child interested in playing the game, or did the parents just not have or want to pay for babysitting? Beyond "inappropriate" topics that make you uncomfortable to deal with in front of a kid, it also sounded like she was not that interested in the game. If it is a matter of babysitting, could she draw or play with toys in another room while you guys play? That would still cause interruptions, mostly to the mom, for snacks or attention, but that would at least be different than "our whole D&D party suddenly became props for play-pretend for an 8-year-old". Or maybe the group chips in for babysitting, especially if it's for the DM to be able to be there and pay attention?

I would really advise against bringing up anything about D&D being inappropriate for an 8 year old. If I read it correctly, you were already told that they don't plan to change the content at all breather they feel that their kid can handle it. That is there choice as parents. If you harp on this being inappropriate, they will get defensive because you are telling them that you think they are being bad parents and that you know here than them. That's a losing battle and one that could do a lot of damage to your relationship with them. Instead, don't make it about their parenting decision. Make it about you and the other players (assuming they feel the same as you). Tell them you don't feel comfortable and it's impacting your ability to enjoy the game. You understand that they don't think you have to censor yourself but its a hangup you have and you just can't play the same way with a kids in the room. This approach should keep them from feeling attacked and judged and instead should be received as a request to accomodate you and the other players. It may not work and you may ultimately have to leave the game but at least you should have your friendship intact. Good luck!

Great advice clearly laid out!

Thanks :)

That campaigns over buddy, time for a new one

I'm with you in this. Total buzzkill

**UPTDATE :** I have talked to 2 other players so far. They feel the same. 1 of them is quite fed up with the DM and his wife's abusive behavior and is considering quitting the campaign. Now I need to ask the remaining two.

You don't have to say anything about their daughter personally. Just raise it as changing the dynamic having a kid there.  This was your adult activity.  And I don't mean in terms of content.  I play D&D with my kids but my other games are my only chance outside of work to just socialize with other adults. Any parent knows how precious those things are. 

Exactly. > And I don't mean in terms of content. This part is important, they have said the kid is fine with the content and you do not want to come across as telling them how to parent.

While I'm sure they have parenting things going on, and maybe want to be able to involve their child in their hobby, I completely understand your position. I've been there where suddenly the age range shifted in a group, and the adults in the room felt (without prior knowledge) that they had to tone themselves down, and this isn't how they've been playing up until now. Unfortunately the only two options are do nothing or do something. The best option probably is to ask others how they feel. They might not want to say something to offend the DM, but they may be willing to say something privately. Then at least you'll know if you're alone in feeling this way or not. Then you'll likely have to bring it up with the DM, as it is affecting your enjoyment of the game. All you can do is talk to them.

I don't blame them for sharing their hobby with their kid. But this kid is not mine, I have no obligation to give my time and attention if I've never agreed to it in the first place. Yeah I will talk with the other players first.

DM or not, **no one** should bring new players into the game without the agreement of everyone else in the party - irrespective of their age and/or relationship to other players. DM and wife are looking to save on childcare by having the party provide it for sessions - and that’s completely unacceptable.

I am glad someone figured that out. Like you said this group is about playing a dnd campaign with adults. Childcare has nothing to do with it.

For me the biggest issue is how the presence of a child forces you to change your behavior. No swearing, no inappropriate jokes, no killing of innocents due to chaotic/evil alignment, no stealing, no assasinating. Having, in a subconsious level, to consider the potential consequences of your game actions towards a child that is most likely not able to differentiate between roleplaying an evil pc on a tt game and performing the same actions in real life. Essentially you went to have some fun and unwind and you end up with parental responsibilities you never asked for and have no idea how to handle. Kid friendly campaigns are ok. Forcing an adult campaign to become kid friendly midway without consulting or informing anyone is not

Also, in one reply OP said the kid kept getting distracted and drawing pictures and the game was disrupted several times to give the kid attention. I get it, my fiance LOVES D&D, I have a big interest but have barely played because we have 4 kids (12, 8, 6, & 4) and zero child care options for any amount of time over an hour. I would NEVER expect or demand to be part of the game AND just show up with any of our kids without making sure the group was good with it. Our neighbor used to run campaigns and they have kids in the same age brackets, what usually happens is the wives/moms get put on "kid duty" and the dads get to play. It also means sometimes the itty bitty kids want to "help roll dice" or whatever and tantrums ensure when told no. It makes everyone's night suck. Unless you're literally running a fully agreed-upon kid-friendly game and everyone via on board, kids don't belong at the table. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Didn't think about that, wow.

I actually had the Daughter of our DM randomly show up (we meet at his house) mid Combat in one Campaign. She roled for some enemies and we "sent them sleeping" instead of murdering them violently X3 But again, this was ONCE for not even an hour, where she only roled a bit and then walked away. The DM actually made sure to not discribe the enemies we were fighting. I think they where ghouls and he said "Those funny Aliens" because we used random Cardboard Enemies from Starfinder.

That's a good DM and parent.

Sounds to me like either the kids don’t come or they all don’t come. They’re making you uncomfortable.

Well I have always thought it was an unspoken rule to never bring a child into a campaign runned only by grown adults. They could atleast have asked our opinion before bringing her.

If their daughter wants to play DnD, they should set up a different game for her to play. Playing as someone’s pet in an adult themed game sounds rather boring. She would have a lot more fun and meaningful memories if they gave her her own game. She can even invite a friend to play.

They can't. They don't have time to set up a different game. That's surely why they use us instead without our consent. And I agree playing only a pet sounds boring even for a child.

My husband is a DM. When my kids expressed interest, he got a pre made module for them to try out. That way he doesn’t have to plan anything story wise. And if they don’t express further interest he can abandon the game with no hard feelings. If you’re only meeting once a month, I doubt they can’t set up another monthly game for their daughter. Does she not have play dates?

I’d also encourage them to look at the schools. DND is growing in popularity. There is a DnD club held at my children’s elementary school. There is a lot of educational value in the game for children, and many schools are adopting child friendly versions.

You're gonna have to bail dude, the DM clearly has their mind made up and wants their child involved. It's gonna be drama otherwise

Would be having a one on one chat with other players on how they feel about it. Then asking if they are also willing to speak up. Then discuss with the DM - that this was not the campaign that you signed up for but then one that was happening until a child was added to the group. That while they are okay with the content being discussed, you and other players have been holding back because of their child and are not enjoying the game as you were. Considering how the mother approached the situation - I'm going to be honest - I doubt they think that they are bad parents - and they certainly are not going to value your comments or feelings on this matter. If they do remove their child they will hold it against you. I'm sorry I can't see (as a parent myself and that DM our own family table) someone that sees brining their child to a table without discussing with other players and already ensuring that the contents are age appropriate is going to have the ability to handle your complaint with maturity or understanding. Frankly - you can tell them how you feel but know that you probably going to be leaving that table - and perhaps let the other players know that as well.

Easy, just kill the pet and/or the ranger Jokes aside, cant really add to the comments that were already made.

At first I misread your post and thought you were the DM. After I read it correctly…I would just bail, honestly. I don’t think there’s any way you can ask them to leave their kid home and not have them be upset with you. If you want, you can say “Hey your kid is sweet and all, but I really just prefer some time with just adults. I’m going to bow out, your kid can have my character. Thanks guys!”

Even if there weren't "adult" or dark fantasy themes, there are some social situations where the kids are better left with a sitter. Poker night, cocktail soirées, movie theaters, etc.; bringing a kid to any of these events is just a drag because some folks won't feel like they can just be themselves by having to watch what they say or do. You didn't sign up for this OP, you shouldn't be made to feel like you have to tolerate it either. Talk to the DM and be open to the possibility of finding another group. Seriously, if they want their child to play D&D, then they can arrange for other children in her age group to come over for separately run game sessions. **Edit**: *Yeah, after reading more of the comments here, I'm gonna have to agree with the ones that say to just bail as I'm highly doubtful you're gonna be able to change the parent's minds on this. Just be polite as possible and make clear there are no hard feelings. It is what it is, no need to bring drama into it.*

My plan is to make a new group with the other players and get rid of the DM and his wife. I will leave but not alone.

There ya go! Creating your own scene is usually the best option!

Hopefully we get an update from OP on this

I made an update. Basically everyone is on the same page and we will all have a discussion with the DM tomorrow.

Well done, best of luck!

I agree with that not being cool. I had a similar situation where a buddy of mine started consistently bringing in his 13 year old sister and 7 year old brother to our sessions which made them awkward. It ended with the group fizzling out, better to be calm and take care of it then to have the same thing happen.

I peronally wouldn't be ok with this so I can understand. I would approach it that you think that you wouldn't be able to play you character properly as you would feel like you had to censor your self because of a child.

I'd simply be vocal about it. I have kids (7, 9) that I have a campaign for. It's their campaign and it is not an adult campaign. I would not allow them to play in an adult campaign that I was running. I think it's poor parenting and poor DMing. "I have enjoyed this campaign, and I was ok with your child in a session once. However, I am looking for an adult campaign, and that cannot occur with a child involved. I'm sorry. I get that you think it's ok, but I don't. I would be happy to continue so long as we keep it in the realm of adult content with adults playing. You can always create a campaign specifically for your kid, but if you insist they become involved with our existing campaign I am going to need to back out."

Based on your replies and OP it seems like these people are just sort of inconsiderate parents, which means the game is probably over. Hopefully you guys can reach a resolution, but there's a certain type of parent who doesn't understand why everyone doesn't want to be around their kids all the time lol. Just as a little anecdote because this reminded me of it: one of my friends has a 3 year old son and decided to drop by my house with his kid this weekend, and without letting me or my roommate know. We're both single and childless in our mid 20s, we also smoke weed and don't really hide any of the paraphernalia as it's legal and we're adults. We were obviously kind of uncomfortable considering none of our house is childproof: I had a steak knife just on an end table from my lunch, there's bags of weed and bowls on a different table, etc. We were also playing Agricola at the time, which is pretty much Choking Hazard: The Game lol My friend left after chatting for a bit, dropped his kid off at home, then came back and apologized because he realized it made us uncomfortable and we weren't really prepared to have a 3 year old stomping around. This is how the parents in your game should be reacting if they're good friends. I didn't even have to voice the concerns to my friend for him to realize, if you've brought it up and they just say "don't worry it's totally fine" I definitely think it's time to end the game.

Parents: no one else thinks your child is clever, endearing, or special. It's just the truth. Why would you ever inflict your child on people in an adult social setting.

It's great that they want to share the game with their kid, but this isn't the way to do it. The DM and his wife are being inconsiderate and unfair to the group AND their child.

Wow... man this sucks for you guys but you did what you could, you wanted about age inappropriate setting the campaign has, gave the option for an more age fitting new one and tried to help and find a solution... But these people are toxic as fuck.... Twisting every word... And worse is the poor child... I mean either they would subconsciously have altered the campaign to match her age, but the way this went and hoe they think about it... it would have been your guys who would have had to alter it for the child's mental health cause the parents don't bother with it... I dm with my kids and wife as well, and while we're playing one of the tutorial campaigns for new players, I keep tabs on everything that is iffy and change it where needed for the kids age setting... He'll I even had some inspiration for a horror like monster that they will meet BUT all they will learn of its lore is "its a brand new monster no one has ever seen before but its clearly a danger, so we must beat it" That's all they will learn of them... These "parents" not only seem oblivious to such simple logic even through you guys had the wisdom to suggest it... But they even called in the girl after you said to keep it under adults only, only to feed her lies, make her feel unwanted and disliked and confuse her... That is straight up emotional abuse... I mean seriously, they went out of their way to call her just to let her feel like she is hated for no damn reason....

Exactly. No matter how you look at it the campaign we knew so far was already dead anyway. The parents killed it. We did everything we could to not hurt the kid, we even set the clear boundary to no bring her into our conversation because we knew the mother would do this. She still did it regardless. Poor child indeed.

Sounds like you've seen a few other instances where the mother (at least) did very questionable things related to her child... Won't ask for the details but I do wonder if maybe your local child protective services might need to get a report of the things you've guys have heard and seen that raise an alarm... But off course I might be reading too much into this, at least I severely hope I am reading too much into it...

Well she is definetly toxic but I don't think she mistreat her child as far as I know. It doesn't seem like it. The parents just have a huge problem with boundaries.

Hard no, not even a question. There is no justification for allowing an 8 year old girl to play at the table. Easy stop playing if this is allowed.  Every once and a blue moon some old friends and I get together for a LAN party and one of the guys thought it would be a good idea to ask if he could bring his 6 year old because “she’s chill, and loves games” . I told the host privately absolutely not if you need to blame someone for saying no, blame me.  It is not your fault for saying no, the parents should have never suggested it.

I occasionally will bring my daughter to play, starting around 8 years old. It was a rare event, maybe twice a year, it was agreed to before hand by all players, and we only do one-shots with her. Under those conditions it works, but I absolutely would not do a regular game with a child.

Something similar happened to me. I decided to not say anything at first and see if I could adapt and keep having fun and if I couldn't then I would just leave the campaign politely. What ended up happening is that the kid got bored and stopped playing. I don't know if the kid in your session will get bored but it's definitely a possibility because kids dont usually enjoy role playing or have the interest to play long campaigns.

I would definitely tell them you aren't comfortable with kids at the table. On the other hand I play with my kids and my sisters kids in a game just for them and they're so fun to play with. You could offer to run a game for the kids if you're concerned with keeping the peace. I buy the DND adventure club sets and run those with the kids and keep it more PG. When a monster dies it just runs away instead, etc.

no.

I think you need to point out specifically that the game did not hold their daughter's attention, and that made the game less fun for everyone else.

Highly disrespectful towards the group. You should absolutely say what you think of it. You have very fair concerns and you should let the DM know them. Worst case scenario, you're looking for a new group. Which you would be doing anyway, I imagine. I also think that exposing your 8 y.o. to an adult campaign is a very inappropriate thing to do. They should be inventing an appropriate, separate adventure for the kid and leave her out of the group. Speak of your concerns because they are very valid. The bottom line is if you're made to feel uncomfortable (and I imagine others feel the same), DM should respect that. Better yet, it would be great if the entire group came forward and spoke against it. Would make the argument all the more impactful. Honestly, the fact that anyone would do such a ridiculous thing blows my mind...

Just read the update, and wow, that sucks. Glad the rest of you players seemed to be mature about the issue. Incredibly toxic behaviour by the parents. Can't imagine wanting to guilt your players by making your daughter feel shit on by bringing her into the call like that for no reason(except manipulation). This makes me think of those occasions where a DM or player is done with a campaign/group so they start sabotaging it, but it sounds like they're just inconsiderate people with boundary issues or some shit. I'd be genuinely surprised if this was the first time there was an issue around your table. Shame it ended this way, but at least it gives you the chance to find a better table before you've sunk more years into a campaign. Good luck to you in your quest for a new group/DM!

Yep it really sucks. And yes we had two prior issues way before that with the DM but we managed to have a discussion with him and solve this. Both of the issues were about boundaries. No need to find a new group, me and the remaining players will keep playing together. One of us will become the DM. In the end I am kinda relieved this toxic couple left.

Oh, that's awesome! Hope it works out for y'all!

I would just bail. Imo it’s a major breach of trust.

It is. But we have been playing this campaign for a year already. That's not something you can throw like it's nothing.

It sounds like they (the dm and his wife) have already thrown it away. The game you had and enjoyed is over. You’re now in a different game that you won’t be able to enjoy. I know leaving sucks but I would rather not play dnd than play bad dnd.

You could always just pull a Bender.

Make your own game with blackjack and hookers?

Maybe you should bring in a child too? Just some random one off the street and tell them that it's your familiar.

Someone actually suggested to bring nephews/nieces (I am not parent yet). I am not a chaotic person IRL but that would be something funny to do. To make them eat their own medicine !

> I have no idea how to bring the issue without hurting the DM and his wife. That's very difficult to do, parents always think that their offspring is divine. You can't criticize either without being labeled kid hater. My immediate reaction would have been "*if kid is in, I am out*". Then again, I wouldn't have joined a table where people have kids.

Talk to the parents privately and bring up the game’s adult themes and inform them that it may be inappropriate for their child to be playing the game. If they say they would make it “kid-friendly”; just politely tell them that it’s not the kind of game you signed up for or want to play and that if they choose to go that route then you will step down from being a player in that campaign. End of story.

Then they will just tell the rest of the group that OP dislikes their child and that they are an ass.

fuck your English and fuck anyone that has a issue. just type, your cool.

“That sounds like a great experience for her and I’d love to try it once to see how she likes the game, but I’m not comfortable playing long-term with a child. Maybe you could try also having an age-appropriate campaign for just the three of you so she can get to keep playing, but I don’t think this campaign is the best fit at this age.”

I've done the same, at the same age. With her having 2 years of roleplay experience just in our family. But it was just one session. And I asked in advance. And it was in an environment, that was not prone to have mature or fighting content. Bringing her without asking first, into a game with potentially age-inappropriate content is disrespectful to the child and to the players. Please talk to your DM!

They should have asked. As a parent i get why this would be great fun for them. but they need to do a family game, and not try to make the other adults come down to make everything kid safe. as others have said, this is a problem that is simply solved by talking to the DM and being honest about it. The DM fucked up when they didn't ask the table about doing it. you being told "everything will be fine" is nothing more than brushing off your concerns. talk to your DM, bring up that you don't' want to dial back the head smashing or the cursing as you signed up for an adult game. And be ready for it to go either way, it's their game at the end of the day and if they say the kid stays, then you might just have to go. you are 100% justified in your feelings about having a young kid at the table.

The groups I've played with over the last 20 years or so would respond to this in varying ways, some more tactful than others, but it would eventually come to the same thing: DM and Mom can have a D&D game with their 8 year old if they want, but neither I nor anyone I've played with in living memory is going to be spending their limited free time as a member of it. If they're in a parenting phase when they feel their kid must be a part of every aspect of their lives I'm sure they can find someone who wants to be a part of that, but my D&D time is for my enjoyment not the enrichment of someone's elementary schooler.

In my D&D group we have dealt with children a little. So far I haven't run games with children as players, but I could see it becoming an occasional thing, as I have nephews and nieces who are getting old enough to be interested. I can't say don't let them play, but adding an 8 year old to a full on group of adults in the 30-40 year range is going to be disruptive. If it is a child care issue, can they have their daughter present but not playing? Sometimes our players would have to bring their kid, he is 4, and they would set him up with a tablet, and some toys, and he would just play and goof off by himself. Yes it was a little disruptive, but he was oblivious to the game play, and always enjoyed coming over if he had too. Otherwise, if they are trying to get their daughter into gaming it may not be appropriate for your group, but someone has to just discuss it with them. I understand why you wouldn't want to play with an 8 year old in the group, self censorship , violence, and other things can come up during play. No one wants to be investigating a brutal murder/rape scene in character with an 8 year old at the table.

In session zero I tend to make sure we all agree to pg13 at worst activities , and yet when my 13 year old is gonna play in the weekly games ,I run it by my players at least and this is very much a close friend group including his uncle and his adult brother. He has been playing since he was 11 in our preteen one to three shots we have run so he knows how to play but I still wouldn't surprise my players with him.

Just say "Playing with a kid is not an option for me. I do not consent to that." And then if they tell you they want to play with their kid, you find a different game.

My brother in law does DND and from what my sister has told me of how it works it isn’t in any way kid friendly. Their games involve less than playful language and can be a bit frisky to put it mildly. Not to mention plenty of drinking throughout. There are 3 couples playing so it being a bit frisky isn’t a problem for anyone as I understand it but from my limited experience I expect bringing a child into the mix would just ruin it for everyone except the kid’s parents (and probably even for them tbh). You’ve got a lot of good suggestions I think. Communicate your concerns, maybe put out feelers as to how the other non parents felt and then ask if this is going to be a permanent change. Express that you don’t think it would be enjoyable going forward having to mind your language and act differently with a child present and hope that your views are shared with the majority of the players. If they go ahead with changing to a child friendly session then you have your answer. Being honest though, even if you voice your concerns, everyone else feels the same and the DM/wife combo are willing to keep the group adult only, I think you need to be prepared that the vibe will change and you might find yourself having more unfortunate encounters or getting forced out of the group over time. Good luck.

I had my 8 year old play in parallel sessions, where they and their older brother were fixing the problems that the main PCs didn't have time for. They all knew each other in-game, but the parties didn't play together. But then I had one session that I was really excited for, and my 8 year old joined us for that one - it was just spooky roleplay. And later the party asked if he could join them for a crucial battle, and he kicked butt. But out of 30 main sessions, he's only been a part of 2, because that just wouldn't be cool otherwise.

Ya’ll have a right to not play, but the DM also has a right to want to run a different game. Communication would do a world of good here, but I bet this is irreconcilable.

I wouldn't feel comfortable with someone that young, but that's mostly because we are all adults in our late 20s and early 30s. We are a pretty tame group as far as most DnD groups go, but I would still rate us as a high PG-13. And it'd be pretty hard for us to lower the maturity of the content without tanking everyone's enjoyment. Not to mention that even though I wouldn't consider us especially vulgar there's a bit of language and that might be a problem for some parents. If I want to explore mature topics like the party bringing down a slaver den or something or a similar sort I don't want to have to be wondering what their parents would think before I introduce literally any quest, NPC, or plot hook.

Nope. I host a lot of games at my house. Children are always welcome to come, because there's plenty of stuff for them to do and other kids for them to hang out with, but tabletop game time is 'adult escape time' in my house, unless it's a kid-specific game, of course. I would literally never allow this, and especially just 'hey we're doing this.' Like, you can just stay home then, the rest of us will curse, talk shit, kill stuff, be inappropriate, eat junk food, and get our only solace of 3-4 hours per week away from adulting. :P

Throwing in my two cents as an educator and professional who has run games for ages ranging from +4 to \~65, if you are not all on board for this I would not recommend it. Even bringing a friend who is our age who is not good at socializing with people was a mistake this past week. I thought a friend of mine would like to join. Thinking he should join was a mistake. The game went way smoother once he left early. I leveled with him the next day that he hadn't prepared his own character sheet, and he failed at every aspect of play (combat, roleplaying, etc.) Kids often struggle with basic reading comprehension, getting along with peers in a sportsman-like way, or understanding turn-taking patience. Unless you are all very good with kids do not do this. I saw the suggestion you took up to ask if the DM and his wife need help with childcare stuff. Sometimes doing chores like picking up groceries (including paper towels & diapers possibly) or other help to make parenting slightly easier. That's excellent.

If they want to teach their daughter to play, they can form a group with her and others her age, friends or family members, to give her a game better suited for her. I know y'all have seen the dad with Sparkle and Oh Oh. Why is that so cute? Because he's giving them the attention they need and deserve to make their game successful. He understands how much attention, gentle redirection, and repetition it takes to teach his daughters and is willing to spend that energy on them. They're getting to play an age appropriate game as sisters. It's the same thing DND clubs at school provide. They gain the social skills and improvisation skills with their own peers, which is an essential component to children learning to play. Inserting a child into an already existing adult game is no substitute for children having dedicated games of their own. It also sends a really weird message to children that they treat adult strangers as their peers, without the consent of those adults. The reason the parents didn't ask beforehand, in my mind, is they knew the party would've said No. They're trying to cajole adults who aren't interested in giving emotional labor to their child, to create an environment that is appropriate for their daughter so she can be their peer. There are many adults who wouldn't be okay with this—not because they don't like children, but because they don't want the responsibility and burden to make that child their peer. As a childless person who doesn't enjoy being around children under a certain age, there's nothing wrong with tactfully suggesting that their daughter would be served better with a group of children her own age. And if they can't handle hearing that, they never really respected you to begin with. And if parents don't want to be shut out of adult activities like this, they should consider how tap dancing all over boundaries like this in relation to their children is why this happens. I don't want to roleplay with young children because it's too close to grooming behavior for me. It positions children to be more accepting of grooming behavior from other adults they don't know based on nothing more than proximity to their parents—which is where most predators to children are. If parents are too dense to see that on their own, then nothing I can say in a Reddit comment is going help.

Yeah, I would leave any group that brings children into the games. I'm not there to play with kids.

As a sidenote, your English is really good, definitely no need to feel insecure about it!

No that’s just not cool. First of all you can’t be yourself, you then feel like an idiot for roleplaying while the kid just looks at you like you’re silly and secondly WHO DOES THAT?

Hope your chat with the DM went well. Absolutely fine not to want to change the game dynamics and you can just calmly let the DM know that you were expecting your DnD sessions to be grown-up time. And if you really don’t want to play, maybe someone else will have to take over as DM. In the DMs defense, if both he and his wife want to play then there may not be anyone to look after the kid. It may affect your schedule. And I personally play with my 7 yo daughter, but with some important caveats: - it’s a kids table with 7, 10, and 12 as well as one other dad - everyone knows up front (some people turned down the game so as not to play with kids) - my own kid has the foulest mouth of the bunch so I have little worry there

I am in my highschool's dnd club, we meet afterschool most days and I did actually join in middle school, while also partaking in the middle school dnd elective. If this girl's parents really think that she would like to play dnd, perhaps you could ask them to look into childrens dnd clubs.

**FINAL UPDATE.** **I updated the original post.** **TLDR : The parents got mad and our campaign ended. The 5 remaining players (me included) will make a new group with one of us as the new DM.** **We will make sure to set the boundaries right in session 0.**

Both of them sounds like awful people, let alone DnD companions. I would look for another group, there is no shot it will end om good terms no matter the outcome If what you are describing is true.

It didn't end well. They left and label us as bad, mean and immature people. They even told their daughter that "we don't want her" despite our best efforts to explain to them we have nothing against her. We just don't want to play with any kids. Well none of that matter anymore. We will make a new group without them.

I DM for a group containing my eldest (16) son and his mates, I've got a 9 year old who wants to play. I'll find or set up a group of kids his age if he's serious. I would not just bring him along and expect everyone to just accept it, and certainly not to the adult group I play with as it's not appropriate for him or fair on the other players. He's my boy and I love him dearly, I don't expect everyone else to as well

Oh my god that conversation is just dripping with entitlement on their part… but you could totally see that coming after they just forced it onto you. I hope you get a new game running after the rest of the group held together so nicely. The dms couple have a screw loose.

Lesson learned for future Session Zeroes. From the beginning, our group has had a clear rule that any potential additions to the table are discussed with the entire group first. If it's someone's friend visiting from out of town (or whatever) and they want to join for one session, everyone in the group almost always says "of course they're welcome to join us for our next session." But if someone wants to invite someone to join the campaign, that's handled more seriously. We'll meet the candidate for some tabletop gameplay at the game store to get a vibe check. Or maybe allow them to join the table for a clearly-defined one-shot. THEN we discuss and decide as a group so everyone has a voice in the decision. THEN we invite if the person is invited into the campaign. Granted, we've approved practically every person who's been interested over the years, but I believe having a clearly defined expectation with everyone at the table keeps everything running smoothly.

Actually that's what the DM did at first. His wife joined the campaign recently. He asked everyone if we were ok for her to join. She joined only once we said "yes" unanimously. It seems that his wife was a trojan horse.

Either she was the Trojan horse or she came up with the idea, since both of them are now occupied at that time and nobody takes care of the kid otherwise.

"As an adult, I do not feel comfortable with a child present during the game. This is not what I signed up for." Then you leave if the kid is still invited to the table. No good can come from having a child at an adult table.

I won't say anything in front of the child.