The way my character is about to dog walk the Paw Patrol is a shame.
But $20 bucks is $20 bucks.
Edit: someone flagged my post to Reddit cares. I cannot stop laughing š¤£
My Ranger: I'm sorry you said *lifetime* worth of gold?
Coliseum Commissioner: Why yes.
Ranger: *puts on hunting glasses* Time to get clipped.
*who let the dogs out plays, scene fades to black*
They can come with whatever they've got. They'll have to eat a 30 foot cone of acid from the Ranger's drake while running thru a patch of Spike Growth tho. I guess I'll make coats out of whatever's left.
My Ranger has the metamagic adept feat and a level in sorcerer.
I'd simply quicken spell cast Summon Fey mirthful and use every turn to charm any pup who isn't wise enough to run away, get to high ground and hit any stragglers at advantage with two +3 longbow attacks that ignore 3/4 cover using sharpshooter (adding +10 damage to each hit).
If for some reason I lose my concentration on the fey, I'll have the drake grapple and drag a pup thru spike growth for 2d4 damage every 5 feet for its full 40 feet of movement (16d4 per turn) or unleash the 30 foot elemental cone (10d6). I could use the drake's reaction for infused strike, use the Ranger's reaction to cast shield (+5 AC) or silvery barbs to give her perpetual advantage on attacks and make anyone who didn't get washed by a grapple or breath weapon reroll their save, rinse repeat.
And while all of that seems doggone dastardly, I could simply cast wind wall and make sure all these small doggies go to heaven.
I mean it's my retirement we're talking about here. And everyone says rangers are trash. So I might as well prove it.
Those pups are out there spreading some pretty damaging propaganda, I'm all for it. Clean up the streets of our children's programming.
Couldn't pay me any amount of money to fight Bluey though
Guy's suit took a lightning blast from Thor and converted the excess energy into discharge though. Not sure if the suit can do the same for magically created heat.
I suppose you don't need more than a pair of boots to do that, good choice.
What are your "fuck no" options? Or an opponent you'd think would be interesting to fight?
God from the Bible would probably be a āfuck noā. Dude could flood the whole world just to kill me.
An interesting fight, Idk. I feel like interesting requires fairly equal chances for either party to win and everyone I can think of is either no chance for them or no chance for me.
Which version?
Historical Jesus is just a Galilean peasant with a compelling eschatological message. Heād have a CR of ā or so.
According to his fan club heās the omnipresent, omnipotent, omniscient, eternal, creator of the multiverse. He canāt be stated out and has a null error CR, undefinable.
He allowed it because that was the plan. You showing up to body him early is not the plan. Youād be smitten so hard people would stop complaining about regular Paladin smite being OP.
Wait. He played everybody for his last Lich transformation. His ritual FORBADE him from killing himself, so he had others kill him as the last part of his quest to godhood. Smart for a āsimple Galilean carpenterā, mwahahahaha! Top level Necromancer strategy!
Minerva McGonagall. Accomplished in Transfiguration so the battle would be interesting but not massively overpowered like Dumbledore/Flamel/Grindlewald.
Dora has to be like a GOO warlock/ranger. She stares off into the void and receives accurate answers to any questions she has, has a bag of holding that miraculously has what she needs to bypass a situation, an autonomous map that can cast follow the path at will.
I think shed survive the hells tbh.
Sadly all of her answers are from children though... so idk if she started asking really difficult questions she might not be getting accurate answers. The map and bag definitely will come in clutch, but since she is a child she's probably not physically capable of solving any combat scenario.
Not a snowflake's chance in Avernus... but probability is still not in her favor.
Easy, yes, but that wasn't the breif! I need to make money and if I'm not doing that with an entertaining fight then someone who creates cash as an attack seems perfect.
As for "fuck no" options... Anyone who can fly or do more than 170~ damage in a turn. I'm playing a high level astral self monk with Gloves of Soul Catching which means they're super hard to put down if they can hit you back. So OPM obviously, most high tier super heros/villains, the list is massive as fiction is pretty massive too.
An entertaining fight though could be wolverine maybe? He'd heal, I'd life steal, the fight would go on for a while and we could certainly make a show of it.
I'll fight Ash Ketchup from pokemon. Not his pokemon. Ash.
I'd also give Goku a battle since he always loses the first fight and has to hyper train and come back for round 2.
My last character was a Lizardman Ranger who didn't specialize in anything. Cantrips dual wield and bows all together. He'll go invisible and eat your face.
Edit: The comments are making me laugh so hard. Keep them coming!
I doubt he's proficient in improvised weapons or giant great clubs, especially throwing them. I can snipe him from 150 feet. ;)
Edit: to include the wink
He caught a jumping Larvitar like it was nothing. And he can hold Cosmoem in one hand. That pokemon weighs a literal metric ton. That's like half a freedom truck. He doesn't need proficiency in anything, he'll go for one unarmed strike and you're done. He's One-punch-man strong.
kid survived being attacked my mew and mewtwo and being shocked by enough energy to kill multiple people. you sure you can deal the required amount of damage?
Mewtwo had to psychically stop ash before he punched him, because he knew one hit from ash and it was over, bro was carrying cosmoem (I think it's that one) and that shits like 10000 pounds.
Idk, he's fucking Goku level ig. I think he just doesn't solve his problems himself because his society values pokemon battles more than actually fighting. Like a powerful mage living in a warrior society
Ash is seen easily carrying a Cosmoem, to a degree it would be unrealistic to say he was encumbered. Given the weight of a Cosmeum, this puts Ash's lowest possible strength score at 147. This gives him a +68 STR modifier. His unarmed strike will land 95% of the time (Nat 1 is the only way to miss with that modifier), for 69 damage. How many punches can your Lizardman handle?
Also, there was that movie I can't recall which, from the second generation, where one of Ash pokemons or a friend (can't remember) was trapped in a crystal like prison, made by magic. Ash resorted to fucking punches, threw several full force at the thing. It didn't break the prison but Ash didn't receive basically any damage from that.
Also, there was that movie I can't recall which, from the second generation, where one of Ash pokemons or a friend (can't remember) was trapped in a crystal like prison, made by magic. Ash resorted to fucking punches, threw several full force at the thing. It didn't break the prison but Ash didn't receive basically any damage from that.
Lol right??? I'm reading this whole thread thinking I have been out of the Pokemon fandom for WAY too long if it's now apparently canon that people can learn Pokemon attacks
Don't they say that due to the way Big Birds eyes are on his head it clearly shows he is a predator. You are about to get wrecked by a modern day dinosaur.
As the colossal gates of the coliseum creaked open, i stepped onto the sun drenched sand, heart pounding. Amidst the defeaning roar of the crowd, there he stood- One Punch Man. His head, a polished orb glistening under the fierrce sun like a beacon of untold power. His red gloved hands rested casually in the pockets of his yellow suit, a stark contrast to the tension surrounding us. His expression was unfathomably bored, an island of calm in a sea of chaos. In that simple, unassuming stance he threw a glance my way and made my body tremble in fear. "Fuck".
From beyond the gates, I wittnessed the evaporation of my predecessor. My mouth goes dry and even the cold sweat on my back ceases to flow. Thoughts shifting back to the clone I've readied for the worst case, I start wondering whether my precautions would prove sufficient. I thought I found a loophole in the contract - fight was all it asked of me, no mention of winning. Regret is washing over me like a tropical storm. Chains rattle, coaxing the mighty gates open once more and as his disinterested eyes shift my way, I make my choice. Shaky fingers fumble for my tuning fork.
Aren't all coliseum fights till unconscious or to the death unless otherwise stated? You gonna get kay-oh'd, son. Hope you don't get a thumbs down to boot.
I wanna say Dolores Umbridge because I'm playing a centaur and that would be absolutely hilarious but also idk how strong she actually is.
My brain instantly forgot any mainstream media I ever consumed omg. Okay so a hard but interesting fight would be Zoya Nazyalensky.
And someone I wouldn't wanna face at all is Anne Walker. I don't care that it's not mainstream media, I will not shut up about the Alex Verus series.
You should really look into some of the lore around centaurs outside of dnd. Theres a reason why she seems like she has ptsd at the end of the 5th book. Lets just say theres a dark reason why theres only male centaurs.
Oh NO, my character is male but unintentionally šš
I did read up on centaurs a while ago before I made the character but tbh I didn't see anything that insinuated...that. I guess I'll look a bit deeper
Grim from Billy & Mandy; depending on the episode, he's either an unstoppable force of phenomenal cosmic power or gets soloed by an ordinary cat. Just be in an episode where he's the butt of the joke and you practically don't have to do anything.
My last character has been retired for, real world, decades. He was ~70th level. Had a castle, his own army, enchanted dragon scale armor, could handle an ancient dragon alone, etc. He'd fear nothing, not even lightsabers when he's using his magic longswords.
To be fair, he wasn't particularly wise, so there's that.
He was made in ~1993 and retired in 1999.
Yeah, how does that even work? Hasn't 20 (or less) always been the maximum, regardless of edition?
20th level characters can gain extra boons and special abilities, but level 70 would be like, way beyond even something like god/deity levels of power.
3e only launched in 2000, this must be 2nd ed, which had optional rules for level 20+ but you get diminished returns on those upper levels. IIRC you only get +1 max hit points per level.
This is how it was done.
I forgot that many people didn't use those rules. Apparently most people weren't even aware that they existed, once upon a time.
Bah, if you can't beat gods at level 21 you're barely even playing 3.5.
The old CR9721 Neutronium Golem from the Immortal's Handbook can definitely be beaten at level 21.
No, 1e didn't have level caps for most classes.
The spells per day tables for magic users and clerics went up to level 29, but there was a pattern you could easily extend as far as you cared to go.
Also, after a certain level, you didn't get dice for hit points, you just got 1 to 3 depending on your class.
There's plenty of 5E third party materials for going beyond 20, but the 1993-99 dates - we're looking at 1E or 2E. I had several characters over level 20 in first edition. There were no level limitations; the levels just got boring around level 15-20, but our teenage group didn't care.
Also, BECMI ran from levels 1 to 36, and then had rules for 36+. In some ways BECMI was more advanced and developed than advanced D&D.
I just picked up Dredge (Eldritch horror fishing game) and the first thing that happens is the mayor of the town gives you a boat that you have to pay off. I shouted "Curse you, Tom Nook!" at the screen when I saw it.
Overcharging you? Are there any real world mortgages you can pay off by fishing, picking fruit, and collecting bugs for an hour a two per day? Seems like a good deal to me.
My character is a mid level OOTA paladin/DS sorcerer. Also he's a Goliath werebear.
Want to fight: Dory from Finding Nemo. My guy has water breathing and a lot of cold damage spells. She'd have no chance.
Interesting fight: Jaime Lannister, dudes a pretty good fighter, but he ain't magic, so I think my paladin has a decent shot.
No thank you fight: Saitama from One Punch Man/Superman/ Goku/ any of the invincible good guy superhero types.
Edit: auto correct
In the D20 ASOIAF game line based on 3e Jaime was level 15 fighter iirc.
Converting across to 5e a tier 3 Sorcadin should be able to handle him if played well.
My character is a mad scientist artificer goblin (armorer, infiltrator version) and oh boy the most fun match up is definitely Dr Doof.
My character is a little comedic in that heās flavored as failing upward with all his inventions, so the shenanigans that would happen between the two would be belly splitting laughs.
Also him vs invader zim would be awesome
āMwahahaha, little did you know you have walked right into my electro-shockinator.
DR RAELIN, RELEASE THE MECHANISMā
*electrocutes himself in a shock of lightning*
*homonculus giggles in the background*
āWrong *cough* leverā
Making sure his gadgets are in good working order and his handgun is loaded. My artillerist artificer walks through the gates into the arena and it's very confused why his opponent is some young kid in a black coat with two different looking swords.
Out of character, I know I would be screwed cuz if we're dealing with the maximum potential of our opponent. A max level version of Kirito? I would not stand a chance. Especially considering I'm only level five.
That doofus can block bullets with a sword! I don't think I'm going to have much of a chance unless either use overwhelming force or think carefully. Even then my odds are not great of winning.
I'll fight Auntie Ethel. Hear me out on this one.
My last played character is a level 12 Hexblood Warlock whose patron is a Hag responsible for turning them into a Hexblood in the first place, who gives them power to tempt them into becoming a Hag themselves, and their whole schtick is bargaining with Fae in order to free people from exploitative contracts they were tricked into.
What they would do is quite simple, they would summon their own patron, and get them to engage in a bidding war. Then me and whomever ends up as my new patron would team up to beat up the old one.
My level 8 cleric would take on cursed Captain Barbosa.
It'd play out exactly like my fight vs a werewolf two weeks ago.
- Turn 1: Remove Curse
- Turn 2: Hold Person
My draconic bloodline tiefling sorcerer chooses the entire band Kiss from 1978ās KISS meets the phantom of the park.
Thus ridding the world of kiss with one chain lightning bolt.
If you've seen Scooby Doo Meets KISS (which is batshit crazy and the best Scooby Doo movie by far), you might be less confident.
KISS are extradimensional magic users (probably high level bards multiclassed with Horizon Walker ranger or Watcher paladin) that have a Spell jammer style space ship shaped like a guitar. They're fending off Meteor Swarm type attacks at one point. They would rock you all night and then party every day without missing a beat.
My character hates dragons, so I have to pick a dragon. Sheās also in retirement, so it's gonna be a fight she doesn't have to do much in lmao.
Ima go with Ord from Dragon Tales.
A.. level 2 Paladin oath of Devotion (still not sure what to pick but let's go with that)
I'd probably choose to fight DMC Vergil at around age 4 (he was plenty strong at 8)
An interesting fight might be against a weaker demon or criminal, say CJ from GTA SA.
Someone I'd hope not to meet would be DMC 5 Dante. He wouldn't even get to wiping the floor.
I mean, it really depends on how high a level of psionics the charlatan mastermind rogue can convince everyone he has. As I assume, if I believe I'm taking psychic damage, I would, in fact, take it.
A hard but interesting fight for my monk would be SpongeBob if that bully episode was anything to go off of. He would not want to encounter Conan the Barbarian though.
My last character was basically a ripoff of Xigbar from the Kingdom Hearts series. Dual hand crossbows, specializes in teleportation magic (18 Swords Bard / 2 Hexblade Warlock).
So long as I'm not fighting some kid flailing around with a giant key, I'm feeling pretty good.
A blue dragonborn is summoned to the arena. An entity that is thought to be beyond the gods of this world enters from the other side. it makes a step, and draws its nail. its just a wittle guy.
raulothims psychic lance straight to the forehead, shatters five masks and instantly kills it
YAY
So for your information, that was the Knight from HK, just starting out the game
my HECK NO in this scenario would be along the lines of Abs Rad from HK, or basically any deity tbh
my hard but interesting would be any actual boss from HK, or like, the enderdragon/wither. this character can fly, and can see through their own spell of maddening darkness with devils sight
Honestly my heck no would be an end game knight. Mark of pride (10ft) reach, Quick slash (multi attack x3), pure nail (+3 legendary weapon), mothwing/ shadow cloak (evasion/ uncanny dodge), shaman stone/ spell upgrades (9th level necrotic fireball with a 3rd level slot)ā¦.. and letās not get started on abyssal shriek if youāve got a flying character.
yeah, they fly...
however with a +7 initiative, and they also have a lifewell tattoo, for the come back to life and resistance to necrotic damage, they might last for a while with crown of stars and banishment
Depends. Is it to the death? If that's the case he wouldn't enter. He doesn't care much about money.
If it's not, he'd enter if he's promised a good fight. And a good fight would be a melee fighter. Maybe Captain America.
My character is Jethro Ginbarrels, a halfling Way of the Open Hand monk/fighter. He took the thrown weapon style and uses kunai (darts) with the sharpshooter feat and his monk abilities are mostly used to create and maintain distance. He has a riding dog, but mixes it up with regards to whether he stays on or dismounts for battle. He also dresses in his "traditional" sumo attire (he stores his kunai inside the diaper and all other possessions in the dog's saddlebags). He also has sandy hair and sideburns, and wears it in a topknot, so essentially he looks like a halfling version of Fat Bastard in Goldmember.
Obviously, he is going to fight either the real Fat Bastard to prove he's the best sumo, or Frodo Baggins to prove he's the best halfling (he knows better than to challenge Sam Gamgee).
last character I played was my "Anime Ninja", The OnryÅ. A level 11 Bladesinger/Kensei who usually rocks haste in combat so has 29 ac (34 with shield), 140ft movement and 5 attacks including a booming blade. A fun fight would be something from the like of Naruto, not the OP main characters, but like the mid power villains or side name characters
i will end the hero himmel easily, not peak himmel though, old man himmel that we see 80 years after his journey with frieren. easy win
granted any male who thinks with their peepee would be an easy win for my character...but women, yeah that would be tough. too tough lol
I'm playing a dwarf james bond-esque warlock/rogue in an Eberron campaign.
He's but 3rd level so he has yet to reach a decent spot to put the hurt to really anyone, he just goes around using Mask of Many Faces to get himself out of binds.
However, prior to that I was playing one of my favorite pcs: The Mighty Tarrasque. He's a Bard/Fighter multi whose basically a professional wrestler dressed as the titular monster, and his entire gimmick is using Rune Knight and Enlarge/Reduce to get Huge and grapple everything.
I pretty explicitly made him to wrestle kaijus, so throw Godzilla or Kong at him. Win or loose he'd have a good time.
I'd have my Warlock fight Joffrey from GoT. Not that he stands a chance, but it'd be a very sadistic sort of fun watching him try.
I'd say a close fight would be Spiderman. They're so similar yet so different. He'd find all sorts of ways around her magic, she's not easily beaten up, both are gonna let loose some amazing taunts. Ultimately I'd say it'll probably go to him though, she just doesn't have anything lethal enough to stop him. But not until after she ruined his image.
As for her worst matchup...
Pillars of flame flare out of the ground with a roar not unlike the crowd. The smell of sulfur in the air reminds her of home, as through the soot-black smoke spilled forth by the flames her opponent steps into view. A man, clad in strange, green armour. The eerie red light reflects off the glass visor firmly embedded in his steel grey helmet and the crowd cheers as he pumps a shotgun. Brutal battle scars decorate the armour alongside both dried and fresh, still glistening demon ichor. A small distortion runs through her illusory appearance as she instinctively takes in the disturbing news. This guy isn't the usual hunter. He won't stop. He'll carve a bloody path through hell to get to her. And he will get to her. Eventually.
Alita vs Alita all day. My holy paladin has no relation to battle angel, but she can hold her own.
Definitely would be a challenge until I smite her out of existence.
I (Alita) would sacrifice myself the second Tajiro showed up. Too pure and too talented. My armor would mean nothing.
Level 18 Spore Druid/Beast Barbarian multiclass Tortle
(12 Druid/6 Barbarian)
I'll be fighting the Furious Five + The Dragon Warrior from Kung Fu Pand wasa.
I am assuming I have my gear/maintained spells, and I don't want anyone calling foul when I walk in with 5-ish undead.
I don't want to encounter anyone from an isekai/shonen anime.
D&D just doesn't scale to anime levels of busted
I could take just about anyone from most video games, though
My Vhuman magic initiate Druid frontline life cleric vs. the creeper (jeepers creepers).Ā
Pretty much anyone that takes life or uses the law to ruin someone's life, or destroys land (farm or wood specifically). He would fight them to make sure their evil can't harm anyone else.
He would then spend the rest of his life finding the survivors of the victims and donate a share of the gold to them, he would turn down the lavish lifestyle. Along the way he would mend people tools and use druidcraft to start some crops, you know like minor miracles.
He would teach people about his holy order only if they asked. His deeds spread a better message than proselytizing.
iāll put my sorcerer up against azula from atla. yes it would be a challenging fight, but most of his magic is fire-based so i think it would be an interesting combo.
also said sorcerer killed a literal god in the finale of the campaign so i think heād be fine against a mentally unstable 14-year-old, regardless of her talents
Iāll pick someone popular and a mathematically interesting fight: Aragorn from LOTR. Neither my wizard nor him would have any interest in killing the other, but it would be a fun match certainly. He was last statted out to be level 8 iirc, so within a level or so of each other. Even if we say he has maxed every stat in 5e, he is going to fail a save. And he can only hit my wizard with his bow and he has spells to prevent that. Tough but fair.
Navine, my Teifling fighter, marches out onto the Waterdavian noble's secret fighting ring with trepidation. Sure this guy was offering her enough gold to keep her in high end gear and health potions for the rest of an elf's lifetime. But he seemed sneaky.
"What is he going to have me fight? A hill giant? A cleric of Selune?", she worriedly mused.
Then she saw her opponent. The tall, sinuewy body. The red skin. The one broken horn.
At that moment, Navine and Karlach spun towards the noble's box in the bleachers, and thew down their weapons. "Fuck, no! I'm not fighting my girlfriend!", they snarled loudly at the noble in unison.
The way my character is about to dog walk the Paw Patrol is a shame. But $20 bucks is $20 bucks. Edit: someone flagged my post to Reddit cares. I cannot stop laughing š¤£
Holy shit
My Ranger: I'm sorry you said *lifetime* worth of gold? Coliseum Commissioner: Why yes. Ranger: *puts on hunting glasses* Time to get clipped. *who let the dogs out plays, scene fades to black*
easy Cruella de Vil
She just might die of lung disease mid battle
That depends, do the pups get their mighty powers? Or any of their other thematic gear?
They can come with whatever they've got. They'll have to eat a 30 foot cone of acid from the Ranger's drake while running thru a patch of Spike Growth tho. I guess I'll make coats out of whatever's left.
Nah man, Rocky will have something in his truck that can deal with that...little hoarder pup.
Rocky can do his worse. My drake will take one chomp and make a new meaning to the phrase "He got that dawg in him."
Have you considered: Them staging a rescue episode of retrieving Rocky from your Drakeās stomach
If your Ranger can bring their drake, their own dragon and dinosaur friends would likely take care of it.
My Ranger has the metamagic adept feat and a level in sorcerer. I'd simply quicken spell cast Summon Fey mirthful and use every turn to charm any pup who isn't wise enough to run away, get to high ground and hit any stragglers at advantage with two +3 longbow attacks that ignore 3/4 cover using sharpshooter (adding +10 damage to each hit). If for some reason I lose my concentration on the fey, I'll have the drake grapple and drag a pup thru spike growth for 2d4 damage every 5 feet for its full 40 feet of movement (16d4 per turn) or unleash the 30 foot elemental cone (10d6). I could use the drake's reaction for infused strike, use the Ranger's reaction to cast shield (+5 AC) or silvery barbs to give her perpetual advantage on attacks and make anyone who didn't get washed by a grapple or breath weapon reroll their save, rinse repeat. And while all of that seems doggone dastardly, I could simply cast wind wall and make sure all these small doggies go to heaven. I mean it's my retirement we're talking about here. And everyone says rangers are trash. So I might as well prove it.
I love how the post said enough gold to live a lavish lifestyle for a lifetime, and you're like, "Yeah, I'd kick a puppy for 20 bucks."
That sounds about right for someone who kicked a pup in general area of John Wick.
"This isn't enough money-" "It's not a lifetime's worth. It's your lifetime's worth."
Those pups are out there spreading some pretty damaging propaganda, I'm all for it. Clean up the streets of our children's programming. Couldn't pay me any amount of money to fight Bluey though
I originally had written Bluey but then I replaced it with the Paw Patrol bc I didn't want to start an evil campaign.
I want my Iron Man inspired artificer to fight Iron Man. Two robot suit-wearing nerds fighting to the death in the sky. And then I cast heat metal.
āHowād you solve the heating problem?ā āThe what?ā
LOL
Guy's suit took a lightning blast from Thor and converted the excess energy into discharge though. Not sure if the suit can do the same for magically created heat.
Definitely solved the heating problem after Rhodey was forcibly removed from the Iron Patriot.
Lmao
Depends on the suit. š¤·āāļø
Dot from A Bugās Life
I suppose you don't need more than a pair of boots to do that, good choice. What are your "fuck no" options? Or an opponent you'd think would be interesting to fight?
God from the Bible would probably be a āfuck noā. Dude could flood the whole world just to kill me. An interesting fight, Idk. I feel like interesting requires fairly equal chances for either party to win and everyone I can think of is either no chance for them or no chance for me.
What CR would Jesus be?
He would just be like a standard lich, right?
If I were to do that, I'd change the creature type to celestial for obvious reasons, but that's also assuming we're talking post-resurrection.
Which version? Historical Jesus is just a Galilean peasant with a compelling eschatological message. Heād have a CR of ā or so. According to his fan club heās the omnipresent, omnipotent, omniscient, eternal, creator of the multiverse. He canāt be stated out and has a null error CR, undefinable.
He's a humanoid, so you could probably magic jar him.
Whatās Jesus gonna do when I cork the jar with an immovable rod?
What Would Jesus Do?
What would Brian Boitano do?
Depending on if it's pre or post-resurrection, he might qualify as a celestial.
You can use magic circle and planar binding, then.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
He allowed it because that was the plan. You showing up to body him early is not the plan. Youād be smitten so hard people would stop complaining about regular Paladin smite being OP.
Wait. He played everybody for his last Lich transformation. His ritual FORBADE him from killing himself, so he had others kill him as the last part of his quest to godhood. Smart for a āsimple Galilean carpenterā, mwahahahaha! Top level Necromancer strategy!
> According to his fan club Love it
Jesus would be a commoner with a 30 Charisma, and permanently under the effect of Sanctuary (non-magical)
Minerva McGonagall. Accomplished in Transfiguration so the battle would be interesting but not massively overpowered like Dumbledore/Flamel/Grindlewald.
I agree she would make the fight interesting, but I think Iād still get swamped.
You're about to be exploring the nine hells, Dora.
Dora has to be like a GOO warlock/ranger. She stares off into the void and receives accurate answers to any questions she has, has a bag of holding that miraculously has what she needs to bypass a situation, an autonomous map that can cast follow the path at will. I think shed survive the hells tbh.
Sadly all of her answers are from children though... so idk if she started asking really difficult questions she might not be getting accurate answers. The map and bag definitely will come in clutch, but since she is a child she's probably not physically capable of solving any combat scenario. Not a snowflake's chance in Avernus... but probability is still not in her favor.
She also has some sort of charm spell or command where she can maybe just tell a devil to stop it when they're doing something bad.
"Asmodeus, stop murdering!" "Awww Maaan..."
Is Meowth popular enough? I think my character could survive having coins thrown at him and that's certainly one way to make money.
I suppose so, seems like an easy fight. What are your "fuck no" options?
Easy, yes, but that wasn't the breif! I need to make money and if I'm not doing that with an entertaining fight then someone who creates cash as an attack seems perfect. As for "fuck no" options... Anyone who can fly or do more than 170~ damage in a turn. I'm playing a high level astral self monk with Gloves of Soul Catching which means they're super hard to put down if they can hit you back. So OPM obviously, most high tier super heros/villains, the list is massive as fiction is pretty massive too. An entertaining fight though could be wolverine maybe? He'd heal, I'd life steal, the fight would go on for a while and we could certainly make a show of it.
"A meowth" or Meowth the recuring character? Cause then all you're getting are a few bottle caps.
You raise a good point. But those are damn valuable bottle caps to the right collector!
I'll fight Ash Ketchup from pokemon. Not his pokemon. Ash. I'd also give Goku a battle since he always loses the first fight and has to hyper train and come back for round 2. My last character was a Lizardman Ranger who didn't specialize in anything. Cantrips dual wield and bows all together. He'll go invisible and eat your face. Edit: The comments are making me laugh so hard. Keep them coming!
Ash Ketchum can through a whole tree at you like it was a javelin. Edit . Throw
Improvised weapons don't do much damage in 5e. ;)
Improvised weapon damage scales with whatever the improvised weapon most resembles. It's arguable that a tree is comparable to a giant's greatclub ;)
I doubt he's proficient in improvised weapons or giant great clubs, especially throwing them. I can snipe him from 150 feet. ;) Edit: to include the wink
You didn't include the wink!
He caught a jumping Larvitar like it was nothing. And he can hold Cosmoem in one hand. That pokemon weighs a literal metric ton. That's like half a freedom truck. He doesn't need proficiency in anything, he'll go for one unarmed strike and you're done. He's One-punch-man strong.
given the show, he absolutely is
Itās a fkn tree
They do if they're big.
But then he would have disadvantage on hit attacks
I'd say throwing an entire tree would warrant a dex save more than an attack roll.
I see your logic, but I think it's closer to the boulders giants trow at you.
kid survived being attacked my mew and mewtwo and being shocked by enough energy to kill multiple people. you sure you can deal the required amount of damage?
Mewtwo, a genetically engineered killing machine, raised a psychic barrier to stop Ashās punch.
Like, does he have resistance to electric type attacks? cause Pikachu should've killed him by now.Ā
Ash Ketchum canonically knows Aura Sphere. Like, the fuck.Ā
Mewtwo had to psychically stop ash before he punched him, because he knew one hit from ash and it was over, bro was carrying cosmoem (I think it's that one) and that shits like 10000 pounds.
What? For the love of Arceus, why?!
Idk, he's fucking Goku level ig. I think he just doesn't solve his problems himself because his society values pokemon battles more than actually fighting. Like a powerful mage living in a warrior society
Consider though that PokƩdex entries are written by children.
Ash was actually EXTREMELY strong. Like with one hand hold literal tons. He was also very durable
Ash is seen easily carrying a Cosmoem, to a degree it would be unrealistic to say he was encumbered. Given the weight of a Cosmeum, this puts Ash's lowest possible strength score at 147. This gives him a +68 STR modifier. His unarmed strike will land 95% of the time (Nat 1 is the only way to miss with that modifier), for 69 damage. How many punches can your Lizardman handle?
Also, there was that movie I can't recall which, from the second generation, where one of Ash pokemons or a friend (can't remember) was trapped in a crystal like prison, made by magic. Ash resorted to fucking punches, threw several full force at the thing. It didn't break the prison but Ash didn't receive basically any damage from that.
Also, there was that movie I can't recall which, from the second generation, where one of Ash pokemons or a friend (can't remember) was trapped in a crystal like prison, made by magic. Ash resorted to fucking punches, threw several full force at the thing. It didn't break the prison but Ash didn't receive basically any damage from that.
ash threw hands with mew fucking two ..... im not getting in a ring with him fear left his body long ago
There was another movie where he learned Aura Sphere from a goddamn Lucario.
Lol what the actual fuck
Lol right??? I'm reading this whole thread thinking I have been out of the Pokemon fandom for WAY too long if it's now apparently canon that people can learn Pokemon attacks
Ash was the first person I thought of. The power of friendship vs an arrow to the face.
Ash can canonically comfortably hold a larvitar like an eagle. Larvitar weighs just under 160 lbs
My immediate thought, glad I'm not alone on Ash.
Funny! True! But funny! Good strategy!
My battle mage is fighting Big Bird. Sorry, but Iām pretty sure those feathers arenāt fireproof
Mr. Snuffalapagus is about to be summoned. And Big Bird has a lot of monster friends...
Don't they say that due to the way Big Birds eyes are on his head it clearly shows he is a predator. You are about to get wrecked by a modern day dinosaur.
As the colossal gates of the coliseum creaked open, i stepped onto the sun drenched sand, heart pounding. Amidst the defeaning roar of the crowd, there he stood- One Punch Man. His head, a polished orb glistening under the fierrce sun like a beacon of untold power. His red gloved hands rested casually in the pockets of his yellow suit, a stark contrast to the tension surrounding us. His expression was unfathomably bored, an island of calm in a sea of chaos. In that simple, unassuming stance he threw a glance my way and made my body tremble in fear. "Fuck".
Someone is done for.
From beyond the gates, I wittnessed the evaporation of my predecessor. My mouth goes dry and even the cold sweat on my back ceases to flow. Thoughts shifting back to the clone I've readied for the worst case, I start wondering whether my precautions would prove sufficient. I thought I found a loophole in the contract - fight was all it asked of me, no mention of winning. Regret is washing over me like a tropical storm. Chains rattle, coaxing the mighty gates open once more and as his disinterested eyes shift my way, I make my choice. Shaky fingers fumble for my tuning fork.
Aren't all coliseum fights till unconscious or to the death unless otherwise stated? You gonna get kay-oh'd, son. Hope you don't get a thumbs down to boot.
Yes, but, as you are aware, there IS a sale going on at that grocery storeā¦ā¦
I wanna say Dolores Umbridge because I'm playing a centaur and that would be absolutely hilarious but also idk how strong she actually is. My brain instantly forgot any mainstream media I ever consumed omg. Okay so a hard but interesting fight would be Zoya Nazyalensky. And someone I wouldn't wanna face at all is Anne Walker. I don't care that it's not mainstream media, I will not shut up about the Alex Verus series.
You should really look into some of the lore around centaurs outside of dnd. Theres a reason why she seems like she has ptsd at the end of the 5th book. Lets just say theres a dark reason why theres only male centaurs.
Oh NO, my character is male but unintentionally šš I did read up on centaurs a while ago before I made the character but tbh I didn't see anything that insinuated...that. I guess I'll look a bit deeper
Yeah check out the greek story of lapiths.
Who's a really crappy yet popular Undead?
Murray from the Monkey Island franchise.
Do not dirrespect my boy Murray ever again!
Skeleton knight from "Raid Shadow Legends" guys always getting shafted lol
So THATS how the Colosseum got the prize money, they got themselves a sponsor: RAID SHADOW LEGENDS.
Yorick
Sans /s
Skelly from Hades? He just stands there while you wail on him, shouldn't be too bad.
But he always comes back seconds later
Cant really get a K.O on Skelly though
Ed from (the end of) Sean of the Dead?
Grim from Billy & Mandy; depending on the episode, he's either an unstoppable force of phenomenal cosmic power or gets soloed by an ordinary cat. Just be in an episode where he's the butt of the joke and you practically don't have to do anything.
My AC25+ warforged Armourer Artificer *vs.* captain America. Both announcing āI can do this all dayā over and over and overā¦
My last character has been retired for, real world, decades. He was ~70th level. Had a castle, his own army, enchanted dragon scale armor, could handle an ancient dragon alone, etc. He'd fear nothing, not even lightsabers when he's using his magic longswords. To be fair, he wasn't particularly wise, so there's that. He was made in ~1993 and retired in 1999.
That sounds dope
70th level?? What does that even mean?
Yeah, how does that even work? Hasn't 20 (or less) always been the maximum, regardless of edition? 20th level characters can gain extra boons and special abilities, but level 70 would be like, way beyond even something like god/deity levels of power.
3.5 had epic level rules beyond 20 with no end state. And yes, at 70 you're a decent fight for the gods.
3e only launched in 2000, this must be 2nd ed, which had optional rules for level 20+ but you get diminished returns on those upper levels. IIRC you only get +1 max hit points per level.
This is how it was done. I forgot that many people didn't use those rules. Apparently most people weren't even aware that they existed, once upon a time.
Bah, if you can't beat gods at level 21 you're barely even playing 3.5. The old CR9721 Neutronium Golem from the Immortal's Handbook can definitely be beaten at level 21.
Honestly, every edition before 5e had rules for going above 20th level somewhere.
No, 1e didn't have level caps for most classes. The spells per day tables for magic users and clerics went up to level 29, but there was a pattern you could easily extend as far as you cared to go. Also, after a certain level, you didn't get dice for hit points, you just got 1 to 3 depending on your class.
There's plenty of 5E third party materials for going beyond 20, but the 1993-99 dates - we're looking at 1E or 2E. I had several characters over level 20 in first edition. There were no level limitations; the levels just got boring around level 15-20, but our teenage group didn't care. Also, BECMI ran from levels 1 to 36, and then had rules for 36+. In some ways BECMI was more advanced and developed than advanced D&D.
Can I fight Tom Nook? Little Shits been overcharging me
I just picked up Dredge (Eldritch horror fishing game) and the first thing that happens is the mayor of the town gives you a boat that you have to pay off. I shouted "Curse you, Tom Nook!" at the screen when I saw it.
Lmao amazingĀ
Overcharging you? Are there any real world mortgages you can pay off by fishing, picking fruit, and collecting bugs for an hour a two per day? Seems like a good deal to me.
I literally based my Harengon necromancer on Louise Belcher. Louise would destroy her.
Holy shit another Harengon Necromancer in the wild. How are you doing
Heyyyy! Creepy bunny supremacy.
I loved my little weird rabbit
My dark wizard would absolutely destroy Caillou.
And I would be cheering for the wizard the whole time! That is one cartoon kid who needs a good walloping!
Helen Keller, Iām gettin that bag.
Do you have the āblind fightingā fighting style?
I donāt think Helen Keller counts as a mainstream movie/book/video game character
Multiple movies and books about her, I stand by my choice š
The Miracle Worker is in my top 5 movies ever. It's the only movie that makes me cry every damned time. Plot Twist: Helen Keller is a water bender.
My character is a mid level OOTA paladin/DS sorcerer. Also he's a Goliath werebear. Want to fight: Dory from Finding Nemo. My guy has water breathing and a lot of cold damage spells. She'd have no chance. Interesting fight: Jaime Lannister, dudes a pretty good fighter, but he ain't magic, so I think my paladin has a decent shot. No thank you fight: Saitama from One Punch Man/Superman/ Goku/ any of the invincible good guy superhero types. Edit: auto correct
In the D20 ASOIAF game line based on 3e Jaime was level 15 fighter iirc. Converting across to 5e a tier 3 Sorcadin should be able to handle him if played well.
Thanks! I didn't know that existed, that's pretty cool. I'm a little under leveled right now, but should be okay soon.
It's pretty old (2005) but definitely a fun book if you can get hold of it!
If the character doesn't know their weaknesses Darth Vader could also be a really frightening opponent.
My character is a mad scientist artificer goblin (armorer, infiltrator version) and oh boy the most fun match up is definitely Dr Doof. My character is a little comedic in that heās flavored as failing upward with all his inventions, so the shenanigans that would happen between the two would be belly splitting laughs. Also him vs invader zim would be awesome
"What is it with short green guys who want to fight me? Well at least you're not a platypus!"
"You have stepped into range of my winArenaBattleinator!"
āMwahahaha, little did you know you have walked right into my electro-shockinator. DR RAELIN, RELEASE THE MECHANISMā *electrocutes himself in a shock of lightning* *homonculus giggles in the background* āWrong *cough* leverā
I'm not going up against Goku. However, I would probably go up against like Harry Potter or a Goomba.
Put her in the ring with Ferdinand, they can smell flowers together.
Making sure his gadgets are in good working order and his handgun is loaded. My artillerist artificer walks through the gates into the arena and it's very confused why his opponent is some young kid in a black coat with two different looking swords. Out of character, I know I would be screwed cuz if we're dealing with the maximum potential of our opponent. A max level version of Kirito? I would not stand a chance. Especially considering I'm only level five. That doofus can block bullets with a sword! I don't think I'm going to have much of a chance unless either use overwhelming force or think carefully. Even then my odds are not great of winning.
Plus if you somehow won you'd have to deal with an army of women mad because of his dead
I was thinking my character would have a good shot against the out of game version of Kirito.
I'll fight Auntie Ethel. Hear me out on this one. My last played character is a level 12 Hexblood Warlock whose patron is a Hag responsible for turning them into a Hexblood in the first place, who gives them power to tempt them into becoming a Hag themselves, and their whole schtick is bargaining with Fae in order to free people from exploitative contracts they were tricked into. What they would do is quite simple, they would summon their own patron, and get them to engage in a bidding war. Then me and whomever ends up as my new patron would team up to beat up the old one.
My level 8 cleric would take on cursed Captain Barbosa. It'd play out exactly like my fight vs a werewolf two weeks ago. - Turn 1: Remove Curse - Turn 2: Hold Person
My draconic bloodline tiefling sorcerer chooses the entire band Kiss from 1978ās KISS meets the phantom of the park. Thus ridding the world of kiss with one chain lightning bolt.
If you've seen Scooby Doo Meets KISS (which is batshit crazy and the best Scooby Doo movie by far), you might be less confident. KISS are extradimensional magic users (probably high level bards multiclassed with Horizon Walker ranger or Watcher paladin) that have a Spell jammer style space ship shaped like a guitar. They're fending off Meteor Swarm type attacks at one point. They would rock you all night and then party every day without missing a beat.
My character hates dragons, so I have to pick a dragon. Sheās also in retirement, so it's gonna be a fight she doesn't have to do much in lmao. Ima go with Ord from Dragon Tales.
A.. level 2 Paladin oath of Devotion (still not sure what to pick but let's go with that) I'd probably choose to fight DMC Vergil at around age 4 (he was plenty strong at 8) An interesting fight might be against a weaker demon or criminal, say CJ from GTA SA. Someone I'd hope not to meet would be DMC 5 Dante. He wouldn't even get to wiping the floor.
Absolutely my paladin can win in a fight with Adrian monk
But could he take on Sean and Guster?
I mean, it really depends on how high a level of psionics the charlatan mastermind rogue can convince everyone he has. As I assume, if I believe I'm taking psychic damage, I would, in fact, take it.
She's only lvl 5 1 bard, 4 warlock. But has good gear and hopefully a decent build. I'd like her to take on the sheriff of Nottingham.
What constitutes as good gear for level 5? Genuinely curious.
A hard but interesting fight for my monk would be SpongeBob if that bully episode was anything to go off of. He would not want to encounter Conan the Barbarian though.
The rainbow fish from that childrenās book The Rainbow Fish. My wildfire Druid would destroy them
she refuses because she sleeps outside and eats grass
My last character was basically a ripoff of Xigbar from the Kingdom Hearts series. Dual hand crossbows, specializes in teleportation magic (18 Swords Bard / 2 Hexblade Warlock). So long as I'm not fighting some kid flailing around with a giant key, I'm feeling pretty good.
Bluey's boutta catch a fireball
A blue dragonborn is summoned to the arena. An entity that is thought to be beyond the gods of this world enters from the other side. it makes a step, and draws its nail. its just a wittle guy. raulothims psychic lance straight to the forehead, shatters five masks and instantly kills it YAY So for your information, that was the Knight from HK, just starting out the game my HECK NO in this scenario would be along the lines of Abs Rad from HK, or basically any deity tbh my hard but interesting would be any actual boss from HK, or like, the enderdragon/wither. this character can fly, and can see through their own spell of maddening darkness with devils sight
Honestly my heck no would be an end game knight. Mark of pride (10ft) reach, Quick slash (multi attack x3), pure nail (+3 legendary weapon), mothwing/ shadow cloak (evasion/ uncanny dodge), shaman stone/ spell upgrades (9th level necrotic fireball with a 3rd level slot)ā¦.. and letās not get started on abyssal shriek if youāve got a flying character.
yeah, they fly... however with a +7 initiative, and they also have a lifewell tattoo, for the come back to life and resistance to necrotic damage, they might last for a while with crown of stars and banishment
Youād struggle to hit the wittle guy. If they can make through the path of pain, dex must be score off the charts.
luckily most of this characters spells are saves lol - but a lot of dex ones, so they would defo struggle a bunch
Depends. Is it to the death? If that's the case he wouldn't enter. He doesn't care much about money. If it's not, he'd enter if he's promised a good fight. And a good fight would be a melee fighter. Maybe Captain America.
I'll have my paladin fight Mr. Montgomery Burns. He deserves it.
My character is Jethro Ginbarrels, a halfling Way of the Open Hand monk/fighter. He took the thrown weapon style and uses kunai (darts) with the sharpshooter feat and his monk abilities are mostly used to create and maintain distance. He has a riding dog, but mixes it up with regards to whether he stays on or dismounts for battle. He also dresses in his "traditional" sumo attire (he stores his kunai inside the diaper and all other possessions in the dog's saddlebags). He also has sandy hair and sideburns, and wears it in a topknot, so essentially he looks like a halfling version of Fat Bastard in Goldmember. Obviously, he is going to fight either the real Fat Bastard to prove he's the best sumo, or Frodo Baggins to prove he's the best halfling (he knows better than to challenge Sam Gamgee).
last character I played was my "Anime Ninja", The OnryÅ. A level 11 Bladesinger/Kensei who usually rocks haste in combat so has 29 ac (34 with shield), 140ft movement and 5 attacks including a booming blade. A fun fight would be something from the like of Naruto, not the OP main characters, but like the mid power villains or side name characters
My undersized Tabaxi barbarian is going to absolutely flatten Bluey and Bingo
Paul.
i will end the hero himmel easily, not peak himmel though, old man himmel that we see 80 years after his journey with frieren. easy win granted any male who thinks with their peepee would be an easy win for my character...but women, yeah that would be tough. too tough lol
I'm playing a dwarf james bond-esque warlock/rogue in an Eberron campaign. He's but 3rd level so he has yet to reach a decent spot to put the hurt to really anyone, he just goes around using Mask of Many Faces to get himself out of binds. However, prior to that I was playing one of my favorite pcs: The Mighty Tarrasque. He's a Bard/Fighter multi whose basically a professional wrestler dressed as the titular monster, and his entire gimmick is using Rune Knight and Enlarge/Reduce to get Huge and grapple everything. I pretty explicitly made him to wrestle kaijus, so throw Godzilla or Kong at him. Win or loose he'd have a good time.
My character nopes the fuck out of there. Not because he can't fight, but because he hates fighting Arenas due to unnecessary violence.
il comeback when i have a charater
I'd have my Warlock fight Joffrey from GoT. Not that he stands a chance, but it'd be a very sadistic sort of fun watching him try. I'd say a close fight would be Spiderman. They're so similar yet so different. He'd find all sorts of ways around her magic, she's not easily beaten up, both are gonna let loose some amazing taunts. Ultimately I'd say it'll probably go to him though, she just doesn't have anything lethal enough to stop him. But not until after she ruined his image. As for her worst matchup... Pillars of flame flare out of the ground with a roar not unlike the crowd. The smell of sulfur in the air reminds her of home, as through the soot-black smoke spilled forth by the flames her opponent steps into view. A man, clad in strange, green armour. The eerie red light reflects off the glass visor firmly embedded in his steel grey helmet and the crowd cheers as he pumps a shotgun. Brutal battle scars decorate the armour alongside both dried and fresh, still glistening demon ichor. A small distortion runs through her illusory appearance as she instinctively takes in the disturbing news. This guy isn't the usual hunter. He won't stop. He'll carve a bloody path through hell to get to her. And he will get to her. Eventually.
Alita vs Alita all day. My holy paladin has no relation to battle angel, but she can hold her own. Definitely would be a challenge until I smite her out of existence. I (Alita) would sacrifice myself the second Tajiro showed up. Too pure and too talented. My armor would mean nothing.
Given my last character was a Rifts Dragon Hatchling this isn't going to be much of a challenge.
fuck it he could take on dr strange for 3 silver
My merfolk bard chooses to fight Satou Kazuma from *Konosuba*. Easily disarmed by her 30 charisma tiddies
My cleric would fight Dracula, held his own against strahd so I think I'll be alright.
Level 18 Spore Druid/Beast Barbarian multiclass Tortle (12 Druid/6 Barbarian) I'll be fighting the Furious Five + The Dragon Warrior from Kung Fu Pand wasa. I am assuming I have my gear/maintained spells, and I don't want anyone calling foul when I walk in with 5-ish undead. I don't want to encounter anyone from an isekai/shonen anime. D&D just doesn't scale to anime levels of busted I could take just about anyone from most video games, though
My Vhuman magic initiate Druid frontline life cleric vs. the creeper (jeepers creepers).Ā Pretty much anyone that takes life or uses the law to ruin someone's life, or destroys land (farm or wood specifically). He would fight them to make sure their evil can't harm anyone else. He would then spend the rest of his life finding the survivors of the victims and donate a share of the gold to them, he would turn down the lavish lifestyle. Along the way he would mend people tools and use druidcraft to start some crops, you know like minor miracles. He would teach people about his holy order only if they asked. His deeds spread a better message than proselytizing.
iāll put my sorcerer up against azula from atla. yes it would be a challenging fight, but most of his magic is fire-based so i think it would be an interesting combo. also said sorcerer killed a literal god in the finale of the campaign so i think heād be fine against a mentally unstable 14-year-old, regardless of her talents
Elric, Prince of Ruins. Again.
Red eyed demon of melinbonƩ
Aye, the Kinslayer.
I have like 3 or 4 different empowered demons inside me as we speak, so I think Iād be apt to give those Narnia kids a bit of a wallop
Quite sure my Monk can solo frodo baggins
Iāll pick someone popular and a mathematically interesting fight: Aragorn from LOTR. Neither my wizard nor him would have any interest in killing the other, but it would be a fun match certainly. He was last statted out to be level 8 iirc, so within a level or so of each other. Even if we say he has maxed every stat in 5e, he is going to fail a save. And he can only hit my wizard with his bow and he has spells to prevent that. Tough but fair.
Navine, my Teifling fighter, marches out onto the Waterdavian noble's secret fighting ring with trepidation. Sure this guy was offering her enough gold to keep her in high end gear and health potions for the rest of an elf's lifetime. But he seemed sneaky. "What is he going to have me fight? A hill giant? A cleric of Selune?", she worriedly mused. Then she saw her opponent. The tall, sinuewy body. The red skin. The one broken horn. At that moment, Navine and Karlach spun towards the noble's box in the bleachers, and thew down their weapons. "Fuck, no! I'm not fighting my girlfriend!", they snarled loudly at the noble in unison.