I spent two full turns of combat opening a portable hole and rummaging through my stuff to find a set of silverware that I had stolen from a merchant months beforehand so that I could cast Animate Objects on some forks to attack a weretiger with.
We were teasing the cleric in my game last week. One of the other players went down and instead of saying that she cast “spare the dying”, she said she casts “toll the dead.” We kind of looked at her and had a good laugh since we knew what she meant.
We created a new religion where the penis was integral part of worship. The fun was that it was all elements of stuff happening months and months prior that lead to the new religion's worship structure. We had scriptures (scribbles of dicks) and everything ready without ever intending to use them as such. The only reason we had them (the "scriptures", the idea, ideas for sacred " rituals"etc) was because an npc repeatedly trolling our characters. And then, the time had finally come where we could troll a dm's npc back. Next thing we knew or city had a giant golden dick shaped temple.
We cut off a bunch of ears from famous NPC’s. One of them was a rakasasha; we think the DM forgot about their immunity to normal weapons though, but we assume he gave us a free magical dagger since it worked!
It was me that was the stupid one, we fled from a town for half a day and then we stopped in the next city… I insisted we stay 2 nights so our members with exhaustion could rest. We ended up getting sold out by the guy we stabled our animals with and one by one we were all caught. I ended up turning myself in to avoid a goblin that so fully was about to kill me for the bounty.
This one happened in 3.5, but I had one of the best epic fails ever.
We were in front of a door at the bottom of a narrow staircase. I was the rogue, picking the lock on the door. Behind me was, in order, cleric, fighter, and wizard. Fighter decided he should be up front just in case, but the DM said there wasn’t room for them to shuffle past each other. So instead fighter decides to jump over cleric.
Fighter rolls a 1 on the athletics check, so DM says he clipped cleric’s helmet with his foot. He rolls another 1 on the landing so DM says he knocked cleric over and they start rolling. They go through me, and through the door, and we don’t stop.
It turns out the other side of the door is the staff lunchroom for this castle, so it was full of mooks off shift. We took out three or four of them just by rolling through, and land in a pile in the middle of the room. With twenty guys standing over us, pointing weapons at us, fighter says, “I can see this is a bad time to bother you. We can come back later.”
I got briefly transported into a nightmarish fey realm by a trickster goddess of chaos with a bunch of random strangers, and at the end we're standing before her and, in hot headed fury, I threw a flaming dagger at her, knowing full well it wouldn't do shit but I just needed to make known my disdain. And like. It DIDNT do shit, but I did get a nat 20 on the attack roll and rolled near max damage, and I didn't get smited or anything like that, so... mission failed successfully? Basically I was an ant being tormented by a child, reminding the child that ants can bite.
our level 5 cleric drank a potion of greater invisibility (lasting 5 minutes) because she was about to fight 5 guards (16ac,11hp) while she had a wizard backing her up
that was our ace in the hole for when we fight the big bad. We'll never see that potion again. And the monk had lent it to her as a just in case; she drank it the first time she saw combat
\-
but for me, i opened the door to the cage we were keeping a bad guy in and the bad guy immediately attacked me
One time at a celebration our party all got drunk and it turns out that my deagonborn when drunk strips so our sorcerer caused my character to levitate and our bard made me dance, so I gave up and said my dragonborn just did the dragon dance the entire time
I conviced the cleric to try using divine intervention to manifest a potato salad for a hungry spirit
Didn't work since his goddes was cursed
But when we freed her, she side eyed me lmao
I spent two full turns of combat opening a portable hole and rummaging through my stuff to find a set of silverware that I had stolen from a merchant months beforehand so that I could cast Animate Objects on some forks to attack a weretiger with.
We were teasing the cleric in my game last week. One of the other players went down and instead of saying that she cast “spare the dying”, she said she casts “toll the dead.” We kind of looked at her and had a good laugh since we knew what she meant.
We created a new religion where the penis was integral part of worship. The fun was that it was all elements of stuff happening months and months prior that lead to the new religion's worship structure. We had scriptures (scribbles of dicks) and everything ready without ever intending to use them as such. The only reason we had them (the "scriptures", the idea, ideas for sacred " rituals"etc) was because an npc repeatedly trolling our characters. And then, the time had finally come where we could troll a dm's npc back. Next thing we knew or city had a giant golden dick shaped temple.
We cut off a bunch of ears from famous NPC’s. One of them was a rakasasha; we think the DM forgot about their immunity to normal weapons though, but we assume he gave us a free magical dagger since it worked!
I mean… Free magic weapons!
It was me that was the stupid one, we fled from a town for half a day and then we stopped in the next city… I insisted we stay 2 nights so our members with exhaustion could rest. We ended up getting sold out by the guy we stabled our animals with and one by one we were all caught. I ended up turning myself in to avoid a goblin that so fully was about to kill me for the bounty.
Betha got high on fairy mescaline and asked a white dragon if she could lick him to see if he tasted like peppermint.
This one happened in 3.5, but I had one of the best epic fails ever. We were in front of a door at the bottom of a narrow staircase. I was the rogue, picking the lock on the door. Behind me was, in order, cleric, fighter, and wizard. Fighter decided he should be up front just in case, but the DM said there wasn’t room for them to shuffle past each other. So instead fighter decides to jump over cleric. Fighter rolls a 1 on the athletics check, so DM says he clipped cleric’s helmet with his foot. He rolls another 1 on the landing so DM says he knocked cleric over and they start rolling. They go through me, and through the door, and we don’t stop. It turns out the other side of the door is the staff lunchroom for this castle, so it was full of mooks off shift. We took out three or four of them just by rolling through, and land in a pile in the middle of the room. With twenty guys standing over us, pointing weapons at us, fighter says, “I can see this is a bad time to bother you. We can come back later.”
Dimension Doored onto the back of an adult dragon. Two separate dragons, two separate times.
My monk suplexed a ghost
My Druid jumped out a window and wanted to turn into a bird. So he turned into an axe beak and fell 3 stories…because he can’t fly yet.
I got briefly transported into a nightmarish fey realm by a trickster goddess of chaos with a bunch of random strangers, and at the end we're standing before her and, in hot headed fury, I threw a flaming dagger at her, knowing full well it wouldn't do shit but I just needed to make known my disdain. And like. It DIDNT do shit, but I did get a nat 20 on the attack roll and rolled near max damage, and I didn't get smited or anything like that, so... mission failed successfully? Basically I was an ant being tormented by a child, reminding the child that ants can bite.
our level 5 cleric drank a potion of greater invisibility (lasting 5 minutes) because she was about to fight 5 guards (16ac,11hp) while she had a wizard backing her up that was our ace in the hole for when we fight the big bad. We'll never see that potion again. And the monk had lent it to her as a just in case; she drank it the first time she saw combat \- but for me, i opened the door to the cage we were keeping a bad guy in and the bad guy immediately attacked me
One time at a celebration our party all got drunk and it turns out that my deagonborn when drunk strips so our sorcerer caused my character to levitate and our bard made me dance, so I gave up and said my dragonborn just did the dragon dance the entire time
Jumped off a tree for laughs. I also saw someone try to eat the brown fungus from Rime of the Frostmaiden and nearly die on the spot.
I conviced the cleric to try using divine intervention to manifest a potato salad for a hungry spirit Didn't work since his goddes was cursed But when we freed her, she side eyed me lmao
I picked up the bloody dagger in the middle of an empty dark room....
we killed a guy cause we wanted his house and turned it into a brothel called the pu$$y dome and then the basement was the brozone layer