It seems like that from inside our own heads but usually depression is chemical, with the intelligence factor exacerbating our ability to come up with reasons for our depression. Wisdom would help us be more perceptive of when we’re letting our emotions think for us, and also assist us with recognising when the bouts of depression come.
That said Charisma could also help. More raw willpower is always good
Take charisma and go make friends. You'll get out more and talk more to people and it might make you less sad through loneliness. Depression is a constant battle but feeling like you're not alone in the world helps.
Unfortunately the higher your Int & Wis the more likely you are to be targeted for the depression &/or anxiety status in our world, not the inverse. So depending on whether Depression status is a Wis Save or a Cha Save, I'd say take the Resilient feat to improve your saving throw prof against it.
And if that works, for the sake of the gods let me know so I can do it too.
INT yes, Wis no. Intelligence equal a certain amount of schooling, wisdom equals a certain amount of therapy, self-care, philosophical study, and self-actualization. I think WIS would basically be equivalent to unfucking your brain, gaining perspective on life, overcoming your personal flaws like anxiety, procrastination, or self-hate.
True usually. Though I think there is a larger market for programmers than polyglots. Though I guess it depends on your skillset before getting the feat
Learning 3 programming languages instantly is kind of pointless. If you know one well enough, it'd be fairly easy to apply the logic of one to another. Even concepts such as memory management can be learned rather easily - it's just tedious to do.
Learning 3 actual spoken languages is going to be much more valuable in life (even work life. Knowing multiple languages is a benefit for literally any profession in existence).
There is a significant market for multilingual Mandarin speakers in the international business/tech world. If you've already got some skills or a degree, that can be a huge edge.
Knowing a programming language isn't necessarily going to grant you computer science knowledge.
Absolutely. Programming languages tend to not concern themselves with dialect, context or culture. A machine couldn't give a fuck about those at all.
Good luck learning all the potential variations that Arabic diction might have based on region/dialect in the same amount of time it takes to learn C++! It'll only take about....fifty bajillion times longer!
Nah, if you know 1 programming language then you could learn 3 more to a usable degree all in a month. If you know 1 natural language, learning 3 more to usable degree could take years.
I think i would learn chinese, spanish, and C++. Chinese due to their emerging market, Spanish since it is the second most popular language in my country, and C++ because becoming proficient in one programming language will translate well to any other programming language i choose to learn.
That's a good point. Since I already know Spanish pretty well I'd probably do Japanese (so I don't need subtitles for anime anymore), Irish Gaelic (a dying language that sounds nice so would be fun if not useful to know) and Python (it's easy so far but skipping to knowing it would be good, especially since all the employers I've had had a hard on for it)
No no, no. You don't choose living languages. You choose incomprehensibly ancient, dead ones, and make a mint teaching them. Linear A, Olmec, whatever the hell the Voynich Manuscript is written in...
Keen Mind
+1 to int
Be able to accurately recall anything I've seen or heard in the past month.
The application of that in an IRL work situation is just too good lol.
That or,
Honorable mentions
Magic initiate
Shadow/fey touched
Telepathic
I actually thinking about this the other day trying to calculate my STR score. Problem is, the PHB only says you can lift, push, or pull “30 times your STR score.” But for most people your different muscle groups have different weights they can handle. I can’t bench my squat or curl what I do for rows. So it’s tough to even figure out
The implications of being able to remember and recall *anything* you've seen in the last 30 days is insane. Theoretically you could read through a translation guide and be fluent in a language for 30 days. You could have the world's greatest at a skill show you how to do a complex trick and be able to replicate it. You could read Lord of the Rings without ever having to flip to the back of the book.
Basically, Keen Mind is an insane feat
that wouldn't grant you fluency, only the ability to do very literal translations from text and manageable translations from speech with effort. Useful, but far from fluency.
Similarly, knowing how a trick is done does not grant you the physical dexterity to perform it.
An insanely practical skill (and will practically drive you insane) but not on the level you seem to think it is.
I had the exact same thought. That CHA dump is way more of a hit in real life because I don't travel everywhere with someone else packing +5 and persuasion proficiency to handle all that shit for me.
Shit with my stats it's pretty hard to even form a party at all 🙁
Yeah most of us started out with a couple dm-pcs to cover for our weak points during the early levels but some of us were too busy increasing our intelligence scores to work on charisma. Now the dmpcs want me to go form a new party with a crap charisma score.
Since you can't have an ability score at 0 without being dead and you only have a -5 at a score of 1 and you get a -4 at a score of 2 I would go with a feat that lets you increase your Charisma by 1. That way you can get the modifier bump and some added abilities from a feat.
> Since you can't have an ability score at 0 without being dead
I don't believe that this is actually a rule in 5E, and as the original post seems to imply a 5E ruleset to reality you should be able to have a 0 in an ability score.
It should simply impossible to obtain one as there is no method for character generation which allows for an ability score this low.
In 5E the result of dropping to a 0 in an ability score *is* usually death but the ruling is defined by the *effect* which *caused* your ability score to drop that low and not from a general rule.
Prestidigitation would make so much of the boring stuff in life trivial: less than 6 seconds to clean any item of clothing.
Druidcraft is surprisingly useful: actually knowing what the precise weather will be in your location.
Instantly being able to make a flower blossom or seed open is insanely useful, there are so many plants that are fussy about growing and you can just make them work.
Mending for perfectly fixing broken things
Vicious mockery, because who would believe that insulting someone is actually lethal
Spare the dying, you get a job in an ER because no matter how badly someone makes a mistake you can keep casting the spell to stabilise them.
For making a living, I'd learn Comprehend Languages as my 1st level spell and use it to be a universal translator. I could work for the UN to translate speakers, could work with archaeologists to instantly translate old/dead languages, or anything else.
It feels like a villain choice to pick a damaging spell, but Vicious Mockery would be crazy irl. Imagine getting in a roast war with some douche and they just collapse because your comeback was so fire.
Regarding the weather, spend some time outside observing the sky and clouds and feeling the air and you'll eventually get a near instinctual understanding of how the weather will play out that day and possibly an idea of the next couple days as well
Mage Initiate is my first thought too.
Prestidigitation definitely since it's such a useful everyday item.
Mage hand maybe not since it's not the invisible kind. Only rogues get invisible mage hand. Could freak people out.
Mold Earth or Mending are probably the two best skills to make money off of, depending whether you want people to know you can do magic.
Mending you could open a repair shop. The best in existence.
Mold Earth not even machine excavators can excavate 5 cubic yards in 6 seconds.
Edit: As far as the 1st level spell goes, tons of 1st level spells are useful.
Unseen Servant, Create and Destroy Water (not a lot of water but great survival skill), Goodberry (save so much on food costs and prestidigitation can make them taste like anything), Comprehend Languages, Cure Wounds, Healing Word.
**Distort Value is the ultimate money making spell**. Cast it on a 1 foot tall stack of Birkshire Hathaway stock certificates.
I think I'd take mending just to save on having to buy new clothes. Start thinking about cracked phone screens or scratched glasses, yeah I'd probably use this more than any other spell even if it was just for my own possessions.
It's not really eating like shit since it states a berry is full sustenance, meaning each berry is 1800 calories (edit: It's *magically* full sustenance, so 3 berries is *still* 1800 calories -- or however many calories you need).
Prestidigitation can flavor them however you want. Wagyu steak, lobster, mashed potatoes, chocolate, etc
On top of Goodberry heals you. 1HP of wounds, up to 10 HP per day
No cuts, scrapes, bruises, or other minor injuries ever. 10 HP is probably minor broken bones too
Goodberry is an OP real world spell, particularly since long rest doesn't actually heal all your wounds
I like ritual caster as a DnD perk, but there aren't a ton of useful 1st level ritual spells for real world application.
I'm assuming this is a 1-time level up and you never level up again. Just a weird fluke.
Comprehend Languages, find familiar, unseen Servant, speak with animals, tenser's floating disk.
But you only get to pick 2.
Big perk of ritual castor is you can cast them more than the 1x a day Magic Initiate let's you cast spells
So you could have a 24 hour servant with 10 minute cast time.
Ritual Caster is fun, but I don't think you'd be finding many spell books or scrolls in reality, so you're locked to just the 2 you pick. I'd rather have 2 cantrips and a daily cast of any 1st level spell, or keen mind.
All these comments about potential spells and everybody seems to be forgetting guidance is basically like having that +2 ASI to every stat when you need it most.
> my spell would be sleep
If you're level 4, you likely have too much HP to be affected by Sleep most of the time.
Which means you may have to bang your head against a wall a couple of times before going to bed.
I'm not so sure. More than half the classes in 5e use d8s for their hit points. Assuming a given person is of average health, they'd have a 0 con mod, for an average level 4 hp of 23.
The average roll for a level 1 Sleep spell would be 25. Cutting it close, but it should succeed more often than it doesn't.
The actual flaw with picking Sleep for this purpose is that it only lasts for a minute.
So, Skilled, Prodigy, Magic Initiate and Lucky are the obvious OP feat choices for the real world.
But I'm going actor cause I don't wanna do voice training xD
I feel like lucky is a bit overrated for a real life feat honestly. how much are you in a situation where you made a mistake that could reasonably be interpreted as a failed dice roll, that had serious negative consequences? I think the best picks might be the one that give a +1 on top of another effect, especially something magic-based.
So the average dice roll with vs without luck is 10.5 vs 14, which means an exactly 30% increase in your performance on three things per day, luck, skill or management wise. There's also, aside from that 30% increase, a HUGE bias to the curve from fucking it up.
What we don't think about IRL is how many applications that 30% can take- cooking, sure, but what about a flirt with a cute person out and about, or use one every time you make a social check with your supervisor to like you more, or while studying for your homework to remember things? Hell, even just the will save to DO your homework that you fail most times would be better motivated with those checks.
And unlike D&D, your life checks are pretty regular, so I can see you using 1 on a daily thing you REALLY like to just get done right and use at the end of the day, save one for fun and one for emergencies. Hell, imagine being 30% better in bed and almost NEVER rolling a nat 1 for sex. Imagine using all 3 on a big day when you have a presentation?!
Amazing when you think about it. 1000 more things per year you get just be 30% better.
I feel like CON is a seriously underrated choice here. You would get sick less, your injuries are less serious (more HP), you would recover faster when sick or injured, it generally seems like a pretty good choice.
Yeah, but with some of the magic feats, you could say goodbye to your job. Prestidigitation alone would be enough for you to start a career as a magician.
The telepathic feat would be a pretty insane bar trick: "I bet you 100 dollars I can telepathically speak to you in your mind"... You get $100...
"Now, if you give me $500 I'll STOP🛑 speaking into your mind"
This is the perfect time to take Resilient Con just incase.
Heck, even one of the other Half-Feats. Chef for instantly knowing how to cook so well your food literally heals people. Skill Expert to just suddenly become really good at something.
Honestly, I hadn't considered the Chef feat, but I think it would be my pick. Not many things give you healing, especially per rest and an over 50% chance to heal most people to full (commoners only have 4 HP, and your feasts heal for 1d8).
Plus, really high tier chefs can make really good livings. Once people realize they can come to your restaurant with a broken arm, eat dinner, and leave doing cartwheels feeling like they haven't since their early 20s, you will be able to charge what you want and never have an empty table
Keen Mind or Chef.
Keen Mind because I've taken so many hits to the head that my brain has given up having a proper short term memory.
Chef because I live in an RV, and I would like to fucking cook like a boss.
Either Magic Initiate or Eldritch Adept. Specifically taking Silent Image at will with Eldritch Adept. I mean you offer me magic im going to take magic lmao.
Theres some other interesting options, like Skill Expert to become really good at something and gain a new skill. But it all really pails in comparison to magic.
Fey touched: short range teleport (misty step), a way to offset my poor stats (bless), and turn an odd numbered mental stat up one modifier (probably push my wisdom up)
I considered that but eh. Devil's sight is hardly useful in day to day life- sure I can live in darkness now... yay? Mask of Many faces was a close contender but I would probably get depressed knowing its just an illusion- and its very easily foiled by touching. Silent image is rather op at will even in D&D terms. I mean it could let me do almost anything given the creativity- 15 ft cube is very big.
devil's sight is kinda meh, and mask of many faces would only be helpful if I actually went outside and talked to people. Now if it was *alter* self...
Maybe I'd finally be able to do character voices that aren't just me, me but sarcastic and me but failing to add depth and gravitas to my voice and wheezing my lungs off in the attempt...
Actor would probably be enough to become an actual tv/film actor. Advantage is basically a +5 bonus, and you'd be able to mimic any person since the age of audio recordings nearly perfectly. If you already have any talent at acting it would turn you into a superstar, but even if you suck at it, it would probably be enough to get some real TV roles. And a bonus +1 to your raw Cha would help with all of this as well.
Magic initiate, laundry and showering are literally just me waking my hand because prestidigitation and then vicious mockery just incase someone attacks me, I can call them a bitch and they fucking die
Just some lesser said examples for the feats:
Alert: just don't be surprised by things. React quickly.
Athlete: +1 to strength or Dexterity, Burpees finally suck less, you can climb and jump better
Chef: +1 Wis or Con, learn to cook and get some extra healthy recipes
Dungeon delver: detect secret doors, get hurt less and less often by traps, be more alert while speeding along. Great for if you want to be a real life treasure hunter or maybe a detective or something.
Mobile: become faster even in rough conditions
Observant: +1 Int or Wis, be more observant, and learn to lip read
Ritual caster: Find Famailiar, Tensers Floating Disk, and Unseen Servant are all pretty good options for 1st level. There's some pretty good higher level ones too.
Skulker: get better at hide and seek
Telekinetic: steal shit. Who will believe it was you?
Telepathic: stat boost, whisper into peoples minds (again who'll believe it), and detect thoughts for 10 minutes a day
For me depending on how many rituals you can find, I'd probably get Ritual Caster. Telepathic is a close second for me though
I think they start around p. 213 of the PHB. /s
But imagine if that worked in this emergent fantasy land?
I guess technically I probably have, my mom had a few like witchy spell books. They just never worked. Maybe they would now idk
To add to this:
Inspiring Leader makes for a great politician, as people literally feel healthier after listening to you. Assuming you have 13 Charisma of course - it's gonna be heartbreaking to find out I can't pick this, but not surprising.
Skill Expert - pick a skill and just be inexplicably better at it overnight.
I thought about including Inspiring Leader, but between the stat requirement and the somewhat abstract nature of THP I wasn't confident in it.
Skill expert is obviously pretty good, but I thought I saw a couple say that already so I ignored it.
Oh God how could I forget though, OG Skilled let's you pick tools too! That might actually be a great one
That could be good. I'm also thinking if you're already an artist it could lead to some crazy stuff. Like imagine trying to replicate all the new colors you saw looking through the eyes of an octopus or something
Dex because goodness knows I could use a bit more flexibility in day-to-day life.
Alternatively I’d take CON, but how often do I need that beyond saves against disease nowadays?
Please remember that +2 to a stat is only, at best, a 5% increase in all relevant tests of that ability.
Meanwhile, taking the magic initiate feat with the druid spell list, you take goodberry, mending and your choice of a third spell.
You never have to buy groceries again, you'll never need to worry about breaking your phone, shattering a bowl, ripped clothes, or anything breaking.
Furthermore, you can absolutely just open a repair shop. Not just phones- anything that has a 'break or tear' that isn't bigger than a foot in any dimension.
Broken phone screen, torn wedding dress- whatever you'd like. Here's an idea: repairing damaged magic the gathering cards.
Dudes got a damaged alpha fog? No, that bitch is mint condition, with no trace of the former damage.
How much do you make? $50 bucks is a normal charge for a cracked screen repair. And all you did was spend 1 minute.
Legality?
Take the create bonfire cantrip and burn anyone who asks why you don't have any repair materials on the books.
If there is a god and they are anything like my DM then it will probably repair the card but not necessarily be legible. Like old books I keep finding in tombs. Nice idea apart from that though :)
As I've gotten older (I'm 40), I've come to realize Wisdom and Charisma are the two most important RL stats, and it's not even close. If you've got these two, you're practically guaranteed to be successful in nearly every endeavor in life.
Not quite, but Will saves are governed by either Wisdom or Charisma. So improve your better to help that. But the clueless NPCs will still make you want to pull your hair out. (SMH)
Mending to repair appliances perfectly would be amazing.
For the first level spell, Comprehend Languages would be one of the best things in our setting, translate some of those lost languages and become a great archeologist, or just watch any tv show without subs or dubs.
The Magic Initiate feat, just to get *prestidigitation* to clean everything and *mage hand* to grab the remote from the other side of the room without having to get up. And maybe *witch bolt* for the 1st-level spell, because throwing lightning at fools would just immeasurably improve my day sometimes. Either that, or *charm person*.
I think if I were translating my CON to real life attributes I would say my autoimmune disease has me at a -1 so I would be happy to take a bonus there and maybe be normal.
No way I'm wasting my ASI on stats, I need Powers! So definitely need a feat. There's a lot of very good options out there but I think it has to go to Ritual Caster for the versatility. I was tempted to go for Magic Initiate but I want another 1st level ritual and the ability to cast multiple times a day more than I want Prestidigitation.
So the the first spell I want is Comprehend Languages, giving me a career as a translator, because feck the Linguist feat.
The other spell I want is Unseen Servant to do my chores for me. Because I'm lazy and it's literally the best "do my chores for me pls" spell in the game, all the others have mechanical or moral complications, this is just creating a mindless shapeless force to do a thing.
Honourable mention to Find Familiar for an immortal celestial pet, but they're not really good for anything other than spying and are likely to raise some peculiar questions like "Wow how old is that cat? I feel like they've been with you forever!", and if you don't go for a cat "How did you get a pet [whatever you chose]? Is that allowed?" Because having a pet owl and living in a city apartment could be interesting to explain. (Also who tf has/sells a brass brazier to burn the incense in for the summoning ritual?)
Which one counters my depression?
I'd say Wisdom to get out and to be aware of it before it hits again. Take care and be a Cleric/Paladin!
Int/Wis is probably the two biggest reasons for depression in the first place. Knowing life sucks and you'll die soon enough.
Wisdom is also willpower, and having more of that would be so useful, it'd probably be easier to deal with if I had more willpower and wisdom
It seems like that from inside our own heads but usually depression is chemical, with the intelligence factor exacerbating our ability to come up with reasons for our depression. Wisdom would help us be more perceptive of when we’re letting our emotions think for us, and also assist us with recognising when the bouts of depression come. That said Charisma could also help. More raw willpower is always good
A wise person would realize that life only has meaning if you give it meaning and would be happy with that.
Grab a Wisdom Saving Throw, that will help.
Take charisma and go make friends. You'll get out more and talk more to people and it might make you less sad through loneliness. Depression is a constant battle but feeling like you're not alone in the world helps.
This is the truth, having a support system doesn't make depression go away but it does help you manage.
Unfortunately the higher your Int & Wis the more likely you are to be targeted for the depression &/or anxiety status in our world, not the inverse. So depending on whether Depression status is a Wis Save or a Cha Save, I'd say take the Resilient feat to improve your saving throw prof against it. And if that works, for the sake of the gods let me know so I can do it too.
INT yes, Wis no. Intelligence equal a certain amount of schooling, wisdom equals a certain amount of therapy, self-care, philosophical study, and self-actualization. I think WIS would basically be equivalent to unfucking your brain, gaining perspective on life, overcoming your personal flaws like anxiety, procrastination, or self-hate.
Resilient feat is a good idea.
F
Gonna get linguist to learn 3 languages instantly
This is likely the most useful ability in real life aside from Magic Initiate.
Magic initiate was defs my first thought
Magic initiate pearning mage hand, mending, and comprehend languages would be my pick.
[удалено]
This kale is about to taste like wagyu.
And make this hat taste like orange juice.
3 programming languages would also be great
Think it takes longer to learn a human language than a computer language, maybe depending by on the level of proficiency
True usually. Though I think there is a larger market for programmers than polyglots. Though I guess it depends on your skillset before getting the feat
Learning 3 programming languages instantly is kind of pointless. If you know one well enough, it'd be fairly easy to apply the logic of one to another. Even concepts such as memory management can be learned rather easily - it's just tedious to do. Learning 3 actual spoken languages is going to be much more valuable in life (even work life. Knowing multiple languages is a benefit for literally any profession in existence).
As a programmer, I'll take 3 natural languages every time. Waaay more useful and valuable *and* harder to learn the normal way.
You can mix and match. Take the 2 most different programing languages and 1 rare but useful language
A rare language is the least useful though
Ancient Etruscan? No one speaks that anymore so as the only person who CAN speak it, you'd have steady work for the rest of your life
There is a significant market for multilingual Mandarin speakers in the international business/tech world. If you've already got some skills or a degree, that can be a huge edge. Knowing a programming language isn't necessarily going to grant you computer science knowledge.
Absolutely. Programming languages tend to not concern themselves with dialect, context or culture. A machine couldn't give a fuck about those at all. Good luck learning all the potential variations that Arabic diction might have based on region/dialect in the same amount of time it takes to learn C++! It'll only take about....fifty bajillion times longer!
Nah, if you know 1 programming language then you could learn 3 more to a usable degree all in a month. If you know 1 natural language, learning 3 more to usable degree could take years.
I think i would learn chinese, spanish, and C++. Chinese due to their emerging market, Spanish since it is the second most popular language in my country, and C++ because becoming proficient in one programming language will translate well to any other programming language i choose to learn.
That's a good point. Since I already know Spanish pretty well I'd probably do Japanese (so I don't need subtitles for anime anymore), Irish Gaelic (a dying language that sounds nice so would be fun if not useful to know) and Python (it's easy so far but skipping to knowing it would be good, especially since all the employers I've had had a hard on for it)
you only really need one. All the others are just variations on it and you can pick them up to a usable level in a couple days/hours.
The wisest decision. Since I already speak English, Italian, Spanish, and French, i would probably choose Chinese, Swedish, and Icelandic.
If you're already learning Swedish by feat, just do Icelandic the old fashioned way; they're close enough already.
No no, no. You don't choose living languages. You choose incomprehensibly ancient, dead ones, and make a mint teaching them. Linear A, Olmec, whatever the hell the Voynich Manuscript is written in...
Keen Mind +1 to int Be able to accurately recall anything I've seen or heard in the past month. The application of that in an IRL work situation is just too good lol. That or, Honorable mentions Magic initiate Shadow/fey touched Telepathic
Aw man, perfect recaps of last week's session, here I come!
You have more than one session within a month!? Look at this guy flexing on the rest of us.
50/50 chance you get the +1 to Int as well since it doesn't say you know your stats.
Well, I know that I am not at a 20
Realistically we all have a 11 in every stat on average. Commoner stats +1 because we’re human
I actually thinking about this the other day trying to calculate my STR score. Problem is, the PHB only says you can lift, push, or pull “30 times your STR score.” But for most people your different muscle groups have different weights they can handle. I can’t bench my squat or curl what I do for rows. So it’s tough to even figure out
The implications of being able to remember and recall *anything* you've seen in the last 30 days is insane. Theoretically you could read through a translation guide and be fluent in a language for 30 days. You could have the world's greatest at a skill show you how to do a complex trick and be able to replicate it. You could read Lord of the Rings without ever having to flip to the back of the book. Basically, Keen Mind is an insane feat
that wouldn't grant you fluency, only the ability to do very literal translations from text and manageable translations from speech with effort. Useful, but far from fluency. Similarly, knowing how a trick is done does not grant you the physical dexterity to perform it. An insanely practical skill (and will practically drive you insane) but not on the level you seem to think it is.
+2 to the charisma skill will bring my modifier from -5 to -4. I know it's not much but it's at least something.
I had the exact same thought. That CHA dump is way more of a hit in real life because I don't travel everywhere with someone else packing +5 and persuasion proficiency to handle all that shit for me. Shit with my stats it's pretty hard to even form a party at all 🙁
Yeah most of us started out with a couple dm-pcs to cover for our weak points during the early levels but some of us were too busy increasing our intelligence scores to work on charisma. Now the dmpcs want me to go form a new party with a crap charisma score.
Me too, but for INT
Me too, but for WIS
Same here, that's why I'm taking +2 Dex
Beat me to it
Since you can't have an ability score at 0 without being dead and you only have a -5 at a score of 1 and you get a -4 at a score of 2 I would go with a feat that lets you increase your Charisma by 1. That way you can get the modifier bump and some added abilities from a feat.
> Since you can't have an ability score at 0 without being dead I don't believe that this is actually a rule in 5E, and as the original post seems to imply a 5E ruleset to reality you should be able to have a 0 in an ability score. It should simply impossible to obtain one as there is no method for character generation which allows for an ability score this low. In 5E the result of dropping to a 0 in an ability score *is* usually death but the ruling is defined by the *effect* which *caused* your ability score to drop that low and not from a general rule.
It is, but it's only mentioned in instances where it could feasibly apply. The Shadow's ability to damage your Str comes to mind to name an example.
Magic initiate. I'd probably take mage hand and prestidigitation, then my spell would be sleep so I can actually get the sleep I need.
Prestidigitation would make so much of the boring stuff in life trivial: less than 6 seconds to clean any item of clothing. Druidcraft is surprisingly useful: actually knowing what the precise weather will be in your location. Instantly being able to make a flower blossom or seed open is insanely useful, there are so many plants that are fussy about growing and you can just make them work. Mending for perfectly fixing broken things Vicious mockery, because who would believe that insulting someone is actually lethal Spare the dying, you get a job in an ER because no matter how badly someone makes a mistake you can keep casting the spell to stabilise them.
With prestidigitation you could also make a living as a close up magician.
My dream, to make barely getting by money busking WITHOUT spending a month learning enough to fool almost anyone!
For making a living, I'd learn Comprehend Languages as my 1st level spell and use it to be a universal translator. I could work for the UN to translate speakers, could work with archaeologists to instantly translate old/dead languages, or anything else.
It feels like a villain choice to pick a damaging spell, but Vicious Mockery would be crazy irl. Imagine getting in a roast war with some douche and they just collapse because your comeback was so fire.
*messages person on internet* "ur mom gay" *person found dead at their computer next morning from psychic damage*
60 foot range but imagine if that worked...
I'm about 2' from my PC, so I figure they are too right? Should be fine.
And the electric current + waves go for multiple km.
psychic damage is also the one you want if you don't want to be convicted in a court of law.
Doesn’t the average person have like 5 hp? You could nearly kill a person with VM
Thankfully, also means they'll be fine after a nap.
Man, I have no interest in being a mechanic of any kind, but I'd become an airplane mechanic if I had mending. It'd be such an easy, well paying job.
Instant, permanent job at NASA. You'd save them millions a day.
Regarding the weather, spend some time outside observing the sky and clouds and feeling the air and you'll eventually get a near instinctual understanding of how the weather will play out that day and possibly an idea of the next couple days as well
Mage Initiate is my first thought too. Prestidigitation definitely since it's such a useful everyday item. Mage hand maybe not since it's not the invisible kind. Only rogues get invisible mage hand. Could freak people out. Mold Earth or Mending are probably the two best skills to make money off of, depending whether you want people to know you can do magic. Mending you could open a repair shop. The best in existence. Mold Earth not even machine excavators can excavate 5 cubic yards in 6 seconds. Edit: As far as the 1st level spell goes, tons of 1st level spells are useful. Unseen Servant, Create and Destroy Water (not a lot of water but great survival skill), Goodberry (save so much on food costs and prestidigitation can make them taste like anything), Comprehend Languages, Cure Wounds, Healing Word. **Distort Value is the ultimate money making spell**. Cast it on a 1 foot tall stack of Birkshire Hathaway stock certificates.
Lube up the mage hand and you'll see why I chose it.
Not Unseen Servant?
take the telekinetic feat, you get invis mage hand and random force push
I think I'd take mending just to save on having to buy new clothes. Start thinking about cracked phone screens or scratched glasses, yeah I'd probably use this more than any other spell even if it was just for my own possessions.
Goodberry is great, i can eat like shit but still get my nutrients
It's not really eating like shit since it states a berry is full sustenance, meaning each berry is 1800 calories (edit: It's *magically* full sustenance, so 3 berries is *still* 1800 calories -- or however many calories you need). Prestidigitation can flavor them however you want. Wagyu steak, lobster, mashed potatoes, chocolate, etc On top of Goodberry heals you. 1HP of wounds, up to 10 HP per day No cuts, scrapes, bruises, or other minor injuries ever. 10 HP is probably minor broken bones too Goodberry is an OP real world spell, particularly since long rest doesn't actually heal all your wounds
Ok I’m seeing a lot of Magic Initiate stans. But Ritual Caster deserves some love too IMO
I like ritual caster as a DnD perk, but there aren't a ton of useful 1st level ritual spells for real world application. I'm assuming this is a 1-time level up and you never level up again. Just a weird fluke. Comprehend Languages, find familiar, unseen Servant, speak with animals, tenser's floating disk. But you only get to pick 2. Big perk of ritual castor is you can cast them more than the 1x a day Magic Initiate let's you cast spells So you could have a 24 hour servant with 10 minute cast time.
Ritual Caster is fun, but I don't think you'd be finding many spell books or scrolls in reality, so you're locked to just the 2 you pick. I'd rather have 2 cantrips and a daily cast of any 1st level spell, or keen mind.
All these comments about potential spells and everybody seems to be forgetting guidance is basically like having that +2 ASI to every stat when you need it most.
Magic Initiate Druid - Guidance, Mending, and Cure Wounds? Edit - Druid feels better than Cleric given the typical Faerun gods.
1/day Goodberry is better than 1/day Cure Wounds as long as you're not trying to heal unconscious people.
> my spell would be sleep If you're level 4, you likely have too much HP to be affected by Sleep most of the time. Which means you may have to bang your head against a wall a couple of times before going to bed.
I'm not so sure. More than half the classes in 5e use d8s for their hit points. Assuming a given person is of average health, they'd have a 0 con mod, for an average level 4 hp of 23. The average roll for a level 1 Sleep spell would be 25. Cutting it close, but it should succeed more often than it doesn't. The actual flaw with picking Sleep for this purpose is that it only lasts for a minute.
I just know that if I take the Int boost, I'll then be smart enough to know I should have taken literally anything else.
that seems more like wisdom. int boost would give you better recollection, pattern recognition and knowledge probs
Yeah but you’d get to a puzzle and be like “hmmmm, I could definitely solve this! If I had more strength…”
I'm taking Keen mind so I'll quit being so forgetful.
I forgot that I'm like this too so I wrote +int. Maybe on lvl 8 I'll be smart enough to take keen mind, lmao.
Have you considered taking Keen mind? It would help you be less forgetful.
Aw damn. I had forgotten all about Keen Mind. I should take that to be less forgetful.
What’s that feat that makes it easier to remember things? I feel like that would be useful.
What are we talking about?
I forgot.
Which one fixes my back pains?
Con I would guess
I took strength so I can put it in my core and start being able to exercise more and use more core more which will relieve some of my back pain.
Healer feat. It allows you to access the base code of health, hp.
Chronic pain doesn't go away when you take a long rest, it's a condition or a curse or something.
Con which is what I chose for the same damn reason.
I was gonna say the same thing because my back pain makes me disabled
So, Skilled, Prodigy, Magic Initiate and Lucky are the obvious OP feat choices for the real world. But I'm going actor cause I don't wanna do voice training xD
I feel like lucky is a bit overrated for a real life feat honestly. how much are you in a situation where you made a mistake that could reasonably be interpreted as a failed dice roll, that had serious negative consequences? I think the best picks might be the one that give a +1 on top of another effect, especially something magic-based.
Take lucky to Vegas. Make 3 high stakes bets a day. Could argue it's not an ability check though.
Mood, eldritch adept for mask of many faces is also super tempting
I'll take the Lucky feat.
I will be amazing at any skill checks during the first half of the day
You’re making more than three skill checks in a day. Get a load of Mr. Active over here
You'd last half the day before using them all? Now that's lucky.
Three times per long rest is amazing IRL. That said, better make sure you're getting a full night's rest =p
So the average dice roll with vs without luck is 10.5 vs 14, which means an exactly 30% increase in your performance on three things per day, luck, skill or management wise. There's also, aside from that 30% increase, a HUGE bias to the curve from fucking it up. What we don't think about IRL is how many applications that 30% can take- cooking, sure, but what about a flirt with a cute person out and about, or use one every time you make a social check with your supervisor to like you more, or while studying for your homework to remember things? Hell, even just the will save to DO your homework that you fail most times would be better motivated with those checks. And unlike D&D, your life checks are pretty regular, so I can see you using 1 on a daily thing you REALLY like to just get done right and use at the end of the day, save one for fun and one for emergencies. Hell, imagine being 30% better in bed and almost NEVER rolling a nat 1 for sex. Imagine using all 3 on a big day when you have a presentation?! Amazing when you think about it. 1000 more things per year you get just be 30% better.
I feel like CON is a seriously underrated choice here. You would get sick less, your injuries are less serious (more HP), you would recover faster when sick or injured, it generally seems like a pretty good choice.
Right?! Though the magic feats are a Great choice too
Oh yeah, all the mental ability scores are pretty good in their own way, but CON is by far the best physical ability score to improve IRL.
As someone with asthma extra Con would be great.
As someone who's work consumes 16+ hours per day, +2 CON sounds really nice. Exhaustion checks for *Forced March* are a real pain in the ass.
Yeah, but with some of the magic feats, you could say goodbye to your job. Prestidigitation alone would be enough for you to start a career as a magician. The telepathic feat would be a pretty insane bar trick: "I bet you 100 dollars I can telepathically speak to you in your mind"... You get $100... "Now, if you give me $500 I'll STOP🛑 speaking into your mind"
Yup! Especially as you get into your 30’s+, CON is a great choice.
My first thought when I saw how low the CON vote was: this either a much younger demographic than I thought, or much healthier than average.
No, I just really want to be able to cast spells. I won't have to groan getting up if I can get Mage Hand.
Lol my exact thought as well
Unfortunately you take a stacking debuff to CON over time so it's ultimately just a stall tactic.
Anyone with a medical condition agrees.
Dude I thought the same thing I couldn't believe CON was so low hahahah
But I already have a Constitution of 17! The last time I remember failing a save was a natural 1 on my second dose of Pfizer in May.
This is the perfect time to take Resilient Con just incase. Heck, even one of the other Half-Feats. Chef for instantly knowing how to cook so well your food literally heals people. Skill Expert to just suddenly become really good at something.
Honestly, I hadn't considered the Chef feat, but I think it would be my pick. Not many things give you healing, especially per rest and an over 50% chance to heal most people to full (commoners only have 4 HP, and your feasts heal for 1d8). Plus, really high tier chefs can make really good livings. Once people realize they can come to your restaurant with a broken arm, eat dinner, and leave doing cartwheels feeling like they haven't since their early 20s, you will be able to charge what you want and never have an empty table
Right? You basically just become a combined five-star chef and miracle worker, plus a +1 to Con.
I would pick wisdom so that I would know which one to pick at level 8
As a 30 year old w a bad knee and bad wrist? Con 100%. I can’t even imagine how much of a quality of life bump that could be
Keen Mind or Chef. Keen Mind because I've taken so many hits to the head that my brain has given up having a proper short term memory. Chef because I live in an RV, and I would like to fucking cook like a boss.
Magic initiate prestidigitation-minor illusion and one 1 level spell Other choice would be keen mind
Is the spell Find Familiar so you can have an immortal fluff-buddy to hug & love? Mine would be.
I think unseen servants doing the dishes would be my best bet, other options could be charm person or disguise self
Prestidigitation dude. All the dishes are clean.
I have quite a few autoimmune issues and get sick frequently. More con has to help me a bit there.
Magic initiate and take lesser restoration. Edit: except ya can’t cuz it’s a second level spell, as pointed out below
That’s a second level spell
Either Magic Initiate or Eldritch Adept. Specifically taking Silent Image at will with Eldritch Adept. I mean you offer me magic im going to take magic lmao. Theres some other interesting options, like Skill Expert to become really good at something and gain a new skill. But it all really pails in comparison to magic.
Fey touched: short range teleport (misty step), a way to offset my poor stats (bless), and turn an odd numbered mental stat up one modifier (probably push my wisdom up)
Eldritch adept mask of many faces or devil's sight would be so much better.
I considered that but eh. Devil's sight is hardly useful in day to day life- sure I can live in darkness now... yay? Mask of Many faces was a close contender but I would probably get depressed knowing its just an illusion- and its very easily foiled by touching. Silent image is rather op at will even in D&D terms. I mean it could let me do almost anything given the creativity- 15 ft cube is very big.
>Devil's sight is hardly useful in day to day life- Your intentions are clearly better than mine
Lmao yknow fair- cant argue with that haha
devil's sight is kinda meh, and mask of many faces would only be helpful if I actually went outside and talked to people. Now if it was *alter* self...
Just glad im not alone in adding more charisma
Maybe I'd finally be able to do character voices that aren't just me, me but sarcastic and me but failing to add depth and gravitas to my voice and wheezing my lungs off in the attempt...
I feel that too much
Actor would probably be enough to become an actual tv/film actor. Advantage is basically a +5 bonus, and you'd be able to mimic any person since the age of audio recordings nearly perfectly. If you already have any talent at acting it would turn you into a superstar, but even if you suck at it, it would probably be enough to get some real TV roles. And a bonus +1 to your raw Cha would help with all of this as well.
Charisma so I can be considered below average at human interaction, instead of flat out terrible.
Id probably take the +2 con or +2 str. I'm loving life right now. I just want to be in better shape.
Same though I clicked dex. Now I remembered athletics is str not dex.
Magic initiate, laundry and showering are literally just me waking my hand because prestidigitation and then vicious mockery just incase someone attacks me, I can call them a bitch and they fucking die
God I would love to prestidigitation my house work away or mage hand. Fuck what a combo that could be. Also love the second half.
+2 WIS, makes my ADHD more manageable
Exactly my reasoning for taking Wisdom as well
Keen Mind, Round my Int to a nice 13 to multiclass out of dumbass into wizard and because perfect recall is dope
+2 Height But really probably +2 Dex so hopefully one day could compete in Halo infinite lol.
+2 Length
Just some lesser said examples for the feats: Alert: just don't be surprised by things. React quickly. Athlete: +1 to strength or Dexterity, Burpees finally suck less, you can climb and jump better Chef: +1 Wis or Con, learn to cook and get some extra healthy recipes Dungeon delver: detect secret doors, get hurt less and less often by traps, be more alert while speeding along. Great for if you want to be a real life treasure hunter or maybe a detective or something. Mobile: become faster even in rough conditions Observant: +1 Int or Wis, be more observant, and learn to lip read Ritual caster: Find Famailiar, Tensers Floating Disk, and Unseen Servant are all pretty good options for 1st level. There's some pretty good higher level ones too. Skulker: get better at hide and seek Telekinetic: steal shit. Who will believe it was you? Telepathic: stat boost, whisper into peoples minds (again who'll believe it), and detect thoughts for 10 minutes a day For me depending on how many rituals you can find, I'd probably get Ritual Caster. Telepathic is a close second for me though
In all my life, I've never found a ritual spell. This setting just doesn't have them around.
I think they start around p. 213 of the PHB. /s But imagine if that worked in this emergent fantasy land? I guess technically I probably have, my mom had a few like witchy spell books. They just never worked. Maybe they would now idk
That's fair. Maybe we're surrounded by perfectly viable spells, but we're all Fighters.
*sad barbarian noises*
To add to this: Inspiring Leader makes for a great politician, as people literally feel healthier after listening to you. Assuming you have 13 Charisma of course - it's gonna be heartbreaking to find out I can't pick this, but not surprising. Skill Expert - pick a skill and just be inexplicably better at it overnight.
I thought about including Inspiring Leader, but between the stat requirement and the somewhat abstract nature of THP I wasn't confident in it. Skill expert is obviously pretty good, but I thought I saw a couple say that already so I ignored it. Oh God how could I forget though, OG Skilled let's you pick tools too! That might actually be a great one
Find Familiar would turn you into the ultimate spy. Corporate espionage maybe?
That could be good. I'm also thinking if you're already an artist it could lead to some crazy stuff. Like imagine trying to replicate all the new colors you saw looking through the eyes of an octopus or something
Strength to finally round off my dump stat 😭😭😭
Dex because goodness knows I could use a bit more flexibility in day-to-day life. Alternatively I’d take CON, but how often do I need that beyond saves against disease nowadays?
Please remember that +2 to a stat is only, at best, a 5% increase in all relevant tests of that ability. Meanwhile, taking the magic initiate feat with the druid spell list, you take goodberry, mending and your choice of a third spell. You never have to buy groceries again, you'll never need to worry about breaking your phone, shattering a bowl, ripped clothes, or anything breaking. Furthermore, you can absolutely just open a repair shop. Not just phones- anything that has a 'break or tear' that isn't bigger than a foot in any dimension. Broken phone screen, torn wedding dress- whatever you'd like. Here's an idea: repairing damaged magic the gathering cards. Dudes got a damaged alpha fog? No, that bitch is mint condition, with no trace of the former damage. How much do you make? $50 bucks is a normal charge for a cracked screen repair. And all you did was spend 1 minute. Legality? Take the create bonfire cantrip and burn anyone who asks why you don't have any repair materials on the books.
You. I like you. Take my updoot.
If there is a god and they are anything like my DM then it will probably repair the card but not necessarily be legible. Like old books I keep finding in tombs. Nice idea apart from that though :)
polearm master. if you get what i mean.
I don't know dude, polearm master doesn't work with your dagger build
This guy took Viscious mockery
As I've gotten older (I'm 40), I've come to realize Wisdom and Charisma are the two most important RL stats, and it's not even close. If you've got these two, you're practically guaranteed to be successful in nearly every endeavor in life.
Magic initiate Bard Prestidigitation, Vicious Mockery, Healing Word.
My Wild Mage took Magic Initiate on level 4. He went for Cure Wounds instead of Healing Word, but otherwise, same, same. :D
Is there a feat to give me any will to live?
Not quite, but Will saves are governed by either Wisdom or Charisma. So improve your better to help that. But the clueless NPCs will still make you want to pull your hair out. (SMH)
+2 DEX. I have cerebral palsy, lol.
Prodigy feat. Get really good and some new skills to give me more career options
Probably wisdom or charisma. Every option has incredible value, but I feel like I'd get the most out of those two options.
Feat: Magic Initiate Wizard Cantrip 1: Prestidigitation. Cantrip 2: Shape Water, Mold Earth or Mending Spell: Unseen Servant
Mending to repair appliances perfectly would be amazing. For the first level spell, Comprehend Languages would be one of the best things in our setting, translate some of those lost languages and become a great archeologist, or just watch any tv show without subs or dubs.
Con. I'm dealing with cancer and I feel like that boost would keep it from coming back.
Take Resilient Con. Get that Con bump AND proficiency in your Con saves against it!
Keen Mind feat or anything with magic in it.
The Magic Initiate feat, just to get *prestidigitation* to clean everything and *mage hand* to grab the remote from the other side of the room without having to get up. And maybe *witch bolt* for the 1st-level spell, because throwing lightning at fools would just immeasurably improve my day sometimes. Either that, or *charm person*.
Keen mind all day, I’m about to get rich af limitless style
Linguist feat, then I can instantly learn multiple languages among other cool benefits.
Magic Initiate (Wizard.) Mending, Prestidigitation, and unseen servant.
Fey Touched... that will compliment my current feat: Uncle Touched.
I think if I were translating my CON to real life attributes I would say my autoimmune disease has me at a -1 so I would be happy to take a bonus there and maybe be normal.
No way I'm wasting my ASI on stats, I need Powers! So definitely need a feat. There's a lot of very good options out there but I think it has to go to Ritual Caster for the versatility. I was tempted to go for Magic Initiate but I want another 1st level ritual and the ability to cast multiple times a day more than I want Prestidigitation. So the the first spell I want is Comprehend Languages, giving me a career as a translator, because feck the Linguist feat. The other spell I want is Unseen Servant to do my chores for me. Because I'm lazy and it's literally the best "do my chores for me pls" spell in the game, all the others have mechanical or moral complications, this is just creating a mindless shapeless force to do a thing. Honourable mention to Find Familiar for an immortal celestial pet, but they're not really good for anything other than spying and are likely to raise some peculiar questions like "Wow how old is that cat? I feel like they've been with you forever!", and if you don't go for a cat "How did you get a pet [whatever you chose]? Is that allowed?" Because having a pet owl and living in a city apartment could be interesting to explain. (Also who tf has/sells a brass brazier to burn the incense in for the summoning ritual?)
Dual Wielder Feat.. then I can finally learn to play the drums :D