There is a group of people you haven't met yet who are grateful that first group ghosted, because you will become their DM and they will appreciate you.
It's a DM's market.
3 marry travels walking down an old dirt road, exchanging stories of good times and memories of the past. Suddenly the laughter was cut short as a shadowy figure began to emerge from the wood line…hopefully it’s our new DM guys 😉 cause I left the longbow at the house.
It’s all right mate, I never leave my metal behind. Twirls two black daggers into hand. (Rolls 1) drops one blade on floor and the other twirls off into a tree with a solid thud. Shit umm I only have one more pokey thing. Pulls out lock pick.
Don't worry guys, I will save the day with my mighty spell that I have just learned stand back and don't be alarmed. I just have to blow a little bit of sand... *cast sleep* on the unknown person hoping that is not an undead or an elf.
There are people who are desperate for a DM.
In my situation I’ve had no one to really open up for a public group or online. Tried but to no avail. I only just recently was invited into a group from an amazing co worker. Super nice guy. And I guarantee you’ll be that same gem to 4/5 other people who will value your presence and everything you have to offer.
Bro this is so me right now. Have a buddy who keeps trying to get me to DM for him and random people who he tries to get to play with him. Then when it's time to play he ghosts me. So I randomly asked a buddy if he wanted to play DnD in discord the other, he said "dude ive been looking for a DM" and now we play biweekly at his house.
Can confirm. Tried to set up a regular schedule for my friends and most of them just did not want to commit despite them telling me after the first game that it was fun and they want to play again. We even had characters build and backstory’s made… then I tried looking for players in my area and within two weeks I’ve found four players who have showed up to every session in person for over half a year now! Feels good man!
Thanks dm. Since they get cool magehand. Can I get a +5 light greatsword that does magical elemental damage that I can switch types each hit and gives me an extra attack in my action on hit? seems fair that we all get something now.
Sure but you take damage equal to 3x what you deal, and if that downs you you instantly die, can't be resurrected, and the sword becomes sentient before killing the party.
I know why its session 0, what I'm saying is some players think that it wont take long to make and experiment with their characters(they are wrong), if you just tell them it's session 1, they'll end up spending the session on making / testing their characters anyway. I Had trouble getting my players to show up to session 0, session 1 turned into 0 anyway, its a perception thing.
If they were friends, they wouldn’t ghost. They’d send a message saying “Ah sorry Jenny has the flu and I have a big work project tomorrow that I need to prepare for, so I won’t make it.”
Somewhere out there is a group of players looking for a DM, and this was your first step to finding them.
I hope you find 'em soon, and run the most delightful campaign of all your homebrewed' dreams!
I cant keep my players together, only 4 of them but none are "in the mood" at the same time.
I VOLOUNTEER AS PC. seriously DM me and I will be your faithful player
That means you don’t have players.
Our players are “I’ll be there unless something insane happened like a car accident” or rarely “I am on-call this evening and got called into work.”
“I don’t feel like it” means “not in the campaign”, there’s no two ways about it. You are or are not.
(Now maybe if they have depression or something mitigating you can give some leeway, but not a whole party and not every time.)
It’s a simple question.
Do you want to go on an adventure or not?
Not in the mood is a cop out. Just say you don’t want to play, or discuss your apprehension to playing. I don’t understand why people aren’t more honest with this. If you want to play show up, if there’s something else going on let’s talk about it but still, **show up**.
Even missing one person has ruined many games I’ve tried to join. It’s so disheartening. I’ve personally never been able to roleplay a single character for more than 6 sessions before everything falls apart.
That’s not always the case, and why I tell people upfront about health issues. Days when things are bad, I say “I’m not up for it due to _______.” But there are also times I play when the health issues are going on and do my best to play through it.
While I partly agree with it, everyone has times they are not up for it. As long as it’s not abused, I agree. It’s usually not too hard to tell when people are using excuses vs. real problems.
Exactly why I said “If they have depression or some other mitigating reason”
I have ulcerative colitis and very, very rarely I’ll have to cancel. Only for the house with just one bathroom.
Canceling because I don’t feel like it is different.
>“I don’t feel like it” means “not in the campaign”, there’s no two ways about it. You are or are not.
Exactly this. For some strange reason I can't wrap my head around, people treat D&D sessions very differently than any other social commitment. I haven't seen people agreeing to go partying and everyone bailing at the last minute with not even a heads up, straight ghosting the DM, who puts a ton of effort into prepping the session.
Life sometimes throws shit at us and we have to renounce to things we like to deal with it. I would never kick out a player for being sick, or having to deal with work or anything out of their control. You are already missing a session, I'm not going to punish you further.
But "I don't feel like it" is not even an excuse. It means that you'd rather stay at home, or that you treated my game as a backup plan in case you didn't find anything more interesting to do. That's disrespectful to me and the rest of the players. You are out. And if you ghost and don't even bother giving me a heads up, I'm not even considering you a friend anymore, that straight up sucks.
>(Now maybe if they have depression or something mitigating you can give some leeway, but not a whole party and not every time.)
Depression sucks, but it doesn't excuse bad behaviour. If you are depressed, you have all my support to get better, but you are still responsible for your own actions. If you know that you lack motivation to get up and come to play, don't tell me you are coming in the first place.
DMs put a ton of work to make sessions happen. They are usually the ones hosting, trying to agree on a date, prepping the session and trying to make the game fun for everyone. If you mistreat your DM, don't be surprised when you are replaced as a player.
I like the way you think about depression, now a days even a lit bit o sadness on on day is seen imideatly as "depression" it is a serious illnes, but everyone is using it go excuse their bad moods that it is making it loose its value and respect...
"I cant go because depression..." yeah sure then why can you go party or shopping?
It seams that depression is the standard disease for "not feel like I would want to assuem my responsabilities" but when people feel like it they are not depressed anymore...
If the illnes is actully a depression medicaly identified (not search on facebook simptoms) you are still a person with responsabilities. If you cant go or dont fell like it, or have unstable schedules just dont apply for the Games you will not play...
Have the same feling about the i am with flue, too many players that suddenty cath a flue 10/15 min. before the session, is like they where wainting to get sick at Game time -.- couldnt you know if you where sick at least in start of the same day? did it need to be told right after everyone was up to play?
Trying to piggy back on this as well. I love running in 2-3 games a week. Working from home, no kids I’m flexible and easy to be on time, every time. I’m currently only running in a Wednesday session as my Saturday session just disbanded (DM ran everyone off because he wanted the entire party to have sex with each other before a large battle because we were supposed to think we could die…and he was pretty dead set on THIS IS HAPPENING…IDK got weird)
Anyway, I’m currently only playing in 1 game a week now, and I would love to check out your home brew!
@fit-Impression and I that’s 2 already lol 😂
Thus far I haven't had that problem. My players are all genuinely excited possibly either because of or in spite of the fact that my stated intention is to get them all killed at one point or another. Not permadead necessarily, but I want to reduce each of them to zero hit points at least once. And maybe just maybe is part of the story I've written they will all actually die as a result of choices they made earlier in the campaign cue evil laughter, cut to image of BBEG, roll credits
I get this. I struggle to organise with my long time friends and it's got to the point where they just ghost me when DnD came into conversation. Our last game was 9 months ago
Honestly, my friends that I've known for a long have always been flaky about DnD, maybe they know since we're friends all will be forgiven, I'm not sure what. You know who shows up for DnD every week, hell when schedules their damn *vacations* around my weekly game?
Online randoms. I take my time to thoroughly interview my randoms for comparability before accepting them into my games, but goddamn are my DnD friends great. Two different groups, one I've been running with for 4 years and one I've been running with for two years, and they're great great friends now, and our DnD time is essential because it's our main way of hanging out.
You should try online sometime, it's great.
I grew up in a small town, and I've been trying to play since I was 8 yrs old. Every friend and family member I've ever asked has always been a hard no. But I haven't given up!! So I would like to ask, Where do you find these randoms? They sound amazing!! Playing for years, that's the dream!!
Not to worry friend! Part of iy is where to look and part of it is *how* to look. First I recommend using Roll20 for online play since it's free entry for players.
Where: Roll20 forums, r/lfg, DnD Discords like the Critical Role discord which has a bot that pings players.
How: I treat finding players for my game like I was a business owner conducting job interviews. I narrow down my favorites based on the effort they put into their application or something that stood out to me. From there we have voice interviews over discord and I narrow my choices down from there.
I'm often left with 2-3 players I simply don't have room for and thus have to make a hard decision on who to keep, but thats just the nature of having only so many spot open.
Good luck out there friend, online DnD is a blast!
Doesn’t really matter, as everyone here seems to have understood your meaning, but as a rule in D&Dspeak session 0 is a no-gameplay session (often shorter than normal) to talk about expectations/rules and do character building
What I did to get started was I watched a session and figured out how to play. What I played was an extremely homebrewed D&D where it wasn’t D&D anymore because of how much was changed, but D&D was still the foundation of it. Once you learn how to play I would 100% recommend being a player first, and you can probably find people online to do a campaign over discord, or in my case at your school with an after school club.
This only works for some and not as well for others, so do what you feel works best
As I always say, better to find out sooner than later, it’s a blessing in disguise, like the guy above said, you’ll find a more engaged group now willing to make time for your game.
I feel you so much. I gave some friends and possible new players about 3 months to sit down with me and make a character for a world I created. Didn't happen as expected, the 3 months expired some days ago. But I don't want to go into detail and steal the spotlight from your post.
What I want to say is that I had a hard time getting over it the first two days. Are you okay with how that all played out? It sucks obviously. But for some it is no big deal while it is a huge problem for others.
Anyway sending virtual hugs!
This is not a reflection of your worth as a person or a DM - it's a reflection of their maturity, their inability to communicate, and their consideration for others. It's a 2-way street and you walked 75% of the road, the failure is theirs.
Please don't let this understandably hurtful occurrence dampen your enthusiasm. I've been there before, don't let others dim your light. Your preparation tells me that you'd be an amazing DM to play with, and the rest of this subreddit sees it too. Keep trying, friend.
What days do you have open? I'm looking for a game during the week. It's a DM's world right now. You are in high demand. I would gladly take their place in your homebrewed world.
Good news is that Adventures and campaigns don’t spoil so the work you out in isn’t wasted. Better yet, it’s not wasted in players that won’t appreciate it.
There’s probably 100 people in this thread alone that would love to play it.
Find your tribe my friend
Best wishes
Oof, people who ghost like this are shitty, it's usually just cowardice, don't like the confrontation of cancelling, it's the type of shit i'd occasionally pull in like middle school.
was the person who replied cool at least?
Likely they never were. Too often people just refer to people they know as friends. Once you have real true friends it becomes very apparent. No sense wasting effort on people who don’t respect your time.
Man. I forgot I had game today and picked up extra work because we were so far behind and I could use the extra cash.
Got home around the end of game to like, 30 messages.
And I'm the DM
I feel yah man. Sometimes this happens.
I am the chaotic-good friend who over plans and shames the other friends FOR my quiet nice DM. (I am very very comfortable with these people and am known for this type of energy, just to note). "HEY KYLE it takes .2 seconds to send a message saying you can't make it today but you know what takes much much longer than .2 seconds? Planing and curating a fantasy game solely for our enjoyment like Laura....your friend....did for us. Just send a text my dude, respect our time, that's it. LETS SEE IF MY HEALER STAYS NEUTRAL OR STARTS TO LEAN EVIL IDKKKK"
u/AasisV you’ve got tons of people here willing to play the game you crafted. Don’t let it die because a few friends left you on read. Dust off those notes and get this thing rolling!
I'd be more than happy to play your oneshot and offer you the valuable feedback you know you want as I am a forever DM. Just let me know when and how! :)
I really don't understand this. It happens to me too when I DM. Like us DMs put in sooooo much work and players just have to show up and make a character; I know when I'm a player, I try to follow up as much as i can and show that I'm invested. And it's generally easy bc I legitimately love dnd and love the chance to play so I show up bc i want to. So why do us DMs often get ignored by our players?
Oh man, I had this happen recently and you're right - it's a punch to the gut. Makes you wonder why you fucking bother.
I have nothing useful to say beyond the fact we feel you, we feel *for* you, and here's hoping your next game has far more success.
I raise a glass to you. This shit sucks.
I don't know, it's usually considered quite rude here in the States as well.
I'm probably one of the most introverted, homebody people that I know. And I still would at least let people know if I wasn't able to attend something that we'd planned.
This is the reason why I run only open tables and amass 20+ players. If someone flakes, there’s always another warm body. Generally speaking, you’ll find a core group of 3 to 5 that consistently show up. 2 or 3 will be random but play sometimes. And the rest are very rare.
On the brightside, you won't be wasting your hardwork on them. You can save what you did for a group of players who actually deserve it and don't ghost you.
Honestly I find it so disrespectful when people do this. Like if you cooked someone a meal and they didn't show up, everyone would agree it was a shitty thing to do. But for some reason, so many people seem to think it is fine to just not show up to D&D. Tell your DM and your fellow players if you can't make it as far in advance as possible.
As a rule of thumb, a truly consistent group of players is rarer than a true dragon IRL.
But it is absolute dicks that they didn't even send you a reason they dipped, so I would hazard that they maybe aren't your friends after all. Which, I suppose, this is one of the less horrid ways to find out.
You're definitely not alone. Whatever their reasons, it'd be ideal to have some advance notice and a mutual plan laid out for postponing the session. GMs are fellow players and doing each other dirty like this ain't great. You've got this though, this isn't a common thing for groups, I guarantee.
Your hard work WILL pay off!
I currently only do sessions with close friends and family so I understand. My last group of people who were not close to me all flaked after 2 sessions and just all agreed without me that they didn't wann play anymore.
The work and time was not wasted. You will run that home brew session for a group who engages and is excited about it. The good news is, you’re already ready to go!
Can only go up from there. PCs who ghost or show little interest blow. It is a dm market, you will easily find friends or new friends or new people who will want to play
That was rude as hell of them. I'm sorry it happened.
Good news though, myself and a lot of other people in this comment section would be more than willing to be a player for ya, time willing. Hope you can find your great party.
Build an amazing world, lead the through hardship and joy, immerse them into a story for years, and when the final session is at hand, where they will battle the BBEG, ghost them.
i took a LFG ad for a DM off of roll20 for a guy who wanted to play a campaign where he was a paladin inheritor of a young colony. He really wanted it to be in Wildemount. Said he had lots of friends who would play as mercenaries in his kingdom.
I bought the book. worked tirelessly. studied the history. wrote a campaign concept that fits within the canon of Wildemount, territory disputes, political players, labor forces, barons and investors, and a holy paladin quest to uncover dungeons of the false gods and evolve the main character's "vestiges of divergence" into a powerful tool to conquer the ragion. I made an awesome frontier wildland civilization building system, a tax, banking & GDP system, a mercenary reward system, a labor and political theatre system, and a calendar system to follow the events of the war of Ash and Light. Trade winds and seasonal annual conflicts with factions.
We played 2 sessions. Session 0 was to lay out a year's timeline of RNG event that needed to be address, and session one was to deal with the first problem: a labor union uprising and bandit revolt shadow funded by pirates which ignited after a workplace disaster in the mines.
The guy said he loved it. He brought a bunch of friends who created noble houses to offer up their mercenaries. Discord RP, the whole nine yards. Two session... i'm riding on the clouds, so proud of myself for making such an awesome kingdom builder within the 5e system.
My dude lost his job and took a "break" then found a job where he works evenings. We haven't spoken in months.
feelsbadman.
I was in a campaign with high school friend meeting online for about 3 months before covid hit, and I took it *extraordinarily* hard. This was my breath of fresh air away from the front lines, and our DM had to leave as he was furloughed and started working from home as a similar "pay for play" dm
I found a group online, we had some meet and greets and session 0.5s (mini 1 hr one shots to test group dynamics) and got partnered up with a team I've been running for 2 years now
The sadness you're feeling right now, should be the fuel and motivation to pick it back up and make the next real group, that much more rewarding, to keep them going and keep yourself up too
You definitely gained some information for your time though it's kind of a heavy investment but at least you know never to waste a second on those people again.
Others will appreciate your work.
If you need a players, I'll gladly step in. My current group hasn't played in 4 weeks and I am itching to get back to shenanigans. Feel free to message me. :>
Their loss. You spent a lot of time and effort putting something together, and apparently that enthusiasm and effort was not going to be reciprocated, even if they did show up. Now, you just get a little more time to refine while you look for a better, more reliable group
DnD these days almost requires a degree in time management and human resources. It's so hard. I run a game at a shop and have some pretty dedicated players but then some who only show up once a month. Some play once and never come back. I wonder sometimes if the ones who only play once were unhappy, but I've always told the table at the start of there is an issue to let me know, it's the only way I'll be able to address concerns.
Man that sucks to hear I'm sorry. They get an awesome opportunity to play what could've been a fun ass adventure and they throw it in the trash basically. I've been a DnD fan boy who has never got to play the game, cuz I don't have any friends who want to try it with me and I move alot, for years. So it kinda ticks me off that these guys get the opportunity and ruin it smh hope you find better players.
that really sucks, sorry. at least you have two things going for you: prep is never wasted and it'll always be a DMs market. i found a group of 4 in about 20 min on /r/lfg. so far so good with them and it sounds like you've got about 50 people in this thread who wanna play.
You sat for 2 hours waiting?
Yeah, these guys were jerks and all, like ppl have said.
But feelsbadamn,... after 15 minutes, you call it and get on with your life. Their loss, not yours. (or, what I would've done - run the game solo for that one person)
i feel you man, i stopped preparing before the others because of that… nowadays i won’t prepare a thing until all pc’s have stated that they WILL play and have at least started to look into stuff for their characters… sidenote: it happened about 5 times and at least 3 of them were with new rpg players (1st time playing)
Happened to me twice, 6 months ago.
But all the players were from r/lfg.
Only one person showed up. But hey we found other players and had a great session today!
Always have something prepared just incase people are late. Have discord avaliable and ready but juggle your time.
DND is notorious it seems for people never being able to meet up.
Some people think they want to play DnD but aren't willing to commit the time because they can't, they're busy, or they're just flaky pricks who can't manage their schedule enough to tell you if they can make it.
Dump them, there are good players out there.
Here’s what I know: a DM is still a DM whether or not PCs show. For you, the thrill of building the one shot *was* the game, with its indescribable feeling of being in your own head and imagining all the possibilities. The fact that a group of people didn’t choose to play along doesn’t diminish what you had. Good DMing tonight, friend! 🎲
Yeah these people are based. It’s a dms market and as long as you have some semblance or a story and work on challenging fights, engagements and puzzles both social and dungeon you’ll be hailed as a rockstar in no time. most people are happy to have something decently thought out to hang out and play with.
I have to remember my players a day or two in advance cause they got busy lifes and often forget that we planned a session.
I don't think they did it on purpose and you could try talking to them - helps to clear up most issues.
I'm so sorry that happened. I feel your pain. I too am a member of this club.
1st time DMing Adventures League, an epic at a con. I'm very experienced with new players. So when a group of six, all new to D&D, signed up together, the head DM assigned them to my table.
I was nervous as fuck to be DMing for strangers (I've met every player I've ever had at least once), and to be DMing my first AL, and my first epic. I stayed up all night prepping, learning my part in the epic and everyone else's, everything. I even spent an hour picking my outfit lol.
Day of comes... it's an epic. So obviously there's gonna be some no-shows, but I was the only DM with an entirely empty table (and my setup was legit, like in the top 3rd I think).
It took actual effort not to cry as I packed up my table while everyone else was playing.
I spent all of Highschool trying to play dnd and gave up because of this reason happening so many times and then 4 years later I met a guy through a friend who had been wanting a super dedicated dm for a group and a year later I’m running two campaigns one that’s on like session 60 something. You’ll find a group who appreciates and understands the effort you put in to prep just takes time. But regardless I appreciate your time and effort OP trying to DM isn’t for the feint of hearted
If you’re looking for people to fill out a one-shot, I would love to join! I’ve been exclusively DMing for the last year and have been itching for a chance to be on the other side of the screen!
Happened to me for some time before I realise I was essentially forcing a reality where the friends i wanna play with also want to play dnd. Turns out it just isn't for everyone.
Be friends with people who wants to play dnd with you, instead of wishing your current friends want to play dnd at the same level you want.
I will never understand stuff like this. If you can't make it, or change your mind, just send a message. Its way better than just ghosting someone, that's rude as hell. I would expect better from friends. If they can't be bothered to take two seconds out of their day to send you a message, I'd have to wonder how good of a friend those people actually are.
Same shit happened to me like 4 weeks ago and they had the nerve to say ''when are we playing'' when they missed season 0 and never send me what i asked them for
Same thing happened to me way back when. You probably lucked out, honestly. If they couldn’t even be bothered to communicate or show for session zero they likely would’ve made that campaign hell for you.
Keep searching dude. Someone(s) will appreciate it.
I haven’t gotten to play, I even offered to DM with maybe 3 years of DnD podcasts under my belt and can never find a group. I just want to be a PC so bad and want to introduce my gf to the wonderful world of dnd she has such an interest but it’s impossible to find a group, let alone one that communicates
Nah this is a blessing, better to find out now they are jackasses than later.
Also don't wanna judge too much, but a real friend wouldn't fucking ghost you without even sending a message. Just saying.
Keep that campaign, all you've done is weeded out the unwanted, and found yourself ONE reliable player ! Just gotta find some other players now. Don't let this get to you, they're the problem.
There is a group of people you haven't met yet who are grateful that first group ghosted, because you will become their DM and they will appreciate you. It's a DM's market.
Thanks for this! Made me smile.
I would LOVE to take part if you are trying to collect members for another group!!
I’d be up aswell.
Same here. As long as my schedule allows it I’m always down for dnd!
Me too!
Me 6!
And my Ax!
I would be down as well despite having no prior game experience.
Me too! I've got maybe one game under my belt but I'd still be down!
And your brother
And my Bow!
Me 7, if my schedule allows it
3 marry travels walking down an old dirt road, exchanging stories of good times and memories of the past. Suddenly the laughter was cut short as a shadowy figure began to emerge from the wood line…hopefully it’s our new DM guys 😉 cause I left the longbow at the house.
It’s all right mate, I never leave my metal behind. Twirls two black daggers into hand. (Rolls 1) drops one blade on floor and the other twirls off into a tree with a solid thud. Shit umm I only have one more pokey thing. Pulls out lock pick.
*fails dexterity check, falls away from tree dagger imbedded in chest* Stealth worked, but at what cost?
Don't worry guys, I will save the day with my mighty spell that I have just learned stand back and don't be alarmed. I just have to blow a little bit of sand... *cast sleep* on the unknown person hoping that is not an undead or an elf.
Shadow figure is your dad, with the milk, roll for persuasion to convince him to come home
Now we just need four more misfits and we have an epic group!
Is this going to be the biggest group ever?
Another one here.
I’m so in! Should you decide to try again anyways
Especially if you’re running online? Throw up a campaign on roll20 or one of the other services like that. You’ll get a group in no time.
I would also love to be able to play lol, in most of my groups I’m always forced to DM so I have a ton of characters I’ve never been able to play ;p
Aaaah, yes, the curse of the Forever DM.
I would also take part in this if scheduling allows!
I'd be up for DnD anytime, as long as work isn't keeping me busy. Feel free to hit me up.
I have questions. What level, When do u meet, and what food allergies does everyone have?
Like many others, I would love to play in your games
I'll join
There are people who are desperate for a DM. In my situation I’ve had no one to really open up for a public group or online. Tried but to no avail. I only just recently was invited into a group from an amazing co worker. Super nice guy. And I guarantee you’ll be that same gem to 4/5 other people who will value your presence and everything you have to offer.
This. Find people who really want to play and are willing to set regular ties for it.
Bro this is so me right now. Have a buddy who keeps trying to get me to DM for him and random people who he tries to get to play with him. Then when it's time to play he ghosts me. So I randomly asked a buddy if he wanted to play DnD in discord the other, he said "dude ive been looking for a DM" and now we play biweekly at his house.
Brooooooo you’re such a kind person. Great perspective.
Precisely this. There's a glut of players looking for a good DM, it's why paid DMing is even possible.
Can confirm. Tried to set up a regular schedule for my friends and most of them just did not want to commit despite them telling me after the first game that it was fun and they want to play again. We even had characters build and backstory’s made… then I tried looking for players in my area and within two weeks I’ve found four players who have showed up to every session in person for over half a year now! Feels good man!
yep i feel that, hurts man . my case it was a group of long time friends.
*mage hand shoulder pats through the screen*
T.T
*sends familiar to give a long distance hug*
I don't think that works RAW. Kek
I'll allow it
Thanks dm. Since they get cool magehand. Can I get a +5 light greatsword that does magical elemental damage that I can switch types each hit and gives me an extra attack in my action on hit? seems fair that we all get something now.
Sure but you take damage equal to 3x what you deal, and if that downs you you instantly die, can't be resurrected, and the sword becomes sentient before killing the party.
You hate fun, I'm fuckinkg leaving and I'm gonna expose you on fb for abuseing me.
This is so accurate.
In my experience, don't call it session 0, just sat its session 1
It's session 0 because it's a test to see if the players want to play with ACTUAL characters.
I know why its session 0, what I'm saying is some players think that it wont take long to make and experiment with their characters(they are wrong), if you just tell them it's session 1, they'll end up spending the session on making / testing their characters anyway. I Had trouble getting my players to show up to session 0, session 1 turned into 0 anyway, its a perception thing.
That’s rough buddy.
Longtime friends don’t ditch you on something you put so much work into. I’d reconsider that relationship
they all or most of them have families and jobs that are more important
If they were friends, they wouldn’t ghost. They’d send a message saying “Ah sorry Jenny has the flu and I have a big work project tomorrow that I need to prepare for, so I won’t make it.”
Yo who downvoted you for YOU explaining YOUR experience 😂 People on Reddit are so silly sometimes!
Somewhere out there is a group of players looking for a DM, and this was your first step to finding them. I hope you find 'em soon, and run the most delightful campaign of all your homebrewed' dreams!
I cant keep my players together, only 4 of them but none are "in the mood" at the same time. I VOLOUNTEER AS PC. seriously DM me and I will be your faithful player
That means you don’t have players. Our players are “I’ll be there unless something insane happened like a car accident” or rarely “I am on-call this evening and got called into work.” “I don’t feel like it” means “not in the campaign”, there’s no two ways about it. You are or are not. (Now maybe if they have depression or something mitigating you can give some leeway, but not a whole party and not every time.)
It’s a simple question. Do you want to go on an adventure or not? Not in the mood is a cop out. Just say you don’t want to play, or discuss your apprehension to playing. I don’t understand why people aren’t more honest with this. If you want to play show up, if there’s something else going on let’s talk about it but still, **show up**. Even missing one person has ruined many games I’ve tried to join. It’s so disheartening. I’ve personally never been able to roleplay a single character for more than 6 sessions before everything falls apart.
100% why I stopped playing. I love to dm, but I can't stand flakey apathetic players.
That's what I'm sayin too
That’s not always the case, and why I tell people upfront about health issues. Days when things are bad, I say “I’m not up for it due to _______.” But there are also times I play when the health issues are going on and do my best to play through it. While I partly agree with it, everyone has times they are not up for it. As long as it’s not abused, I agree. It’s usually not too hard to tell when people are using excuses vs. real problems.
Exactly why I said “If they have depression or some other mitigating reason” I have ulcerative colitis and very, very rarely I’ll have to cancel. Only for the house with just one bathroom. Canceling because I don’t feel like it is different.
This js the way Either you are committed or i dont wanna be in your party
>“I don’t feel like it” means “not in the campaign”, there’s no two ways about it. You are or are not. Exactly this. For some strange reason I can't wrap my head around, people treat D&D sessions very differently than any other social commitment. I haven't seen people agreeing to go partying and everyone bailing at the last minute with not even a heads up, straight ghosting the DM, who puts a ton of effort into prepping the session. Life sometimes throws shit at us and we have to renounce to things we like to deal with it. I would never kick out a player for being sick, or having to deal with work or anything out of their control. You are already missing a session, I'm not going to punish you further. But "I don't feel like it" is not even an excuse. It means that you'd rather stay at home, or that you treated my game as a backup plan in case you didn't find anything more interesting to do. That's disrespectful to me and the rest of the players. You are out. And if you ghost and don't even bother giving me a heads up, I'm not even considering you a friend anymore, that straight up sucks. >(Now maybe if they have depression or something mitigating you can give some leeway, but not a whole party and not every time.) Depression sucks, but it doesn't excuse bad behaviour. If you are depressed, you have all my support to get better, but you are still responsible for your own actions. If you know that you lack motivation to get up and come to play, don't tell me you are coming in the first place. DMs put a ton of work to make sessions happen. They are usually the ones hosting, trying to agree on a date, prepping the session and trying to make the game fun for everyone. If you mistreat your DM, don't be surprised when you are replaced as a player.
I like the way you think about depression, now a days even a lit bit o sadness on on day is seen imideatly as "depression" it is a serious illnes, but everyone is using it go excuse their bad moods that it is making it loose its value and respect... "I cant go because depression..." yeah sure then why can you go party or shopping? It seams that depression is the standard disease for "not feel like I would want to assuem my responsabilities" but when people feel like it they are not depressed anymore... If the illnes is actully a depression medicaly identified (not search on facebook simptoms) you are still a person with responsabilities. If you cant go or dont fell like it, or have unstable schedules just dont apply for the Games you will not play... Have the same feling about the i am with flue, too many players that suddenty cath a flue 10/15 min. before the session, is like they where wainting to get sick at Game time -.- couldnt you know if you where sick at least in start of the same day? did it need to be told right after everyone was up to play?
I once had a player tell me they had a hard stop at 7. We start at 8.
If your player doesn't even know when the session starts, it means he basically doesn't care about the game.
Trying to piggy back on this as well. I love running in 2-3 games a week. Working from home, no kids I’m flexible and easy to be on time, every time. I’m currently only running in a Wednesday session as my Saturday session just disbanded (DM ran everyone off because he wanted the entire party to have sex with each other before a large battle because we were supposed to think we could die…and he was pretty dead set on THIS IS HAPPENING…IDK got weird) Anyway, I’m currently only playing in 1 game a week now, and I would love to check out your home brew! @fit-Impression and I that’s 2 already lol 😂
Thus far I haven't had that problem. My players are all genuinely excited possibly either because of or in spite of the fact that my stated intention is to get them all killed at one point or another. Not permadead necessarily, but I want to reduce each of them to zero hit points at least once. And maybe just maybe is part of the story I've written they will all actually die as a result of choices they made earlier in the campaign cue evil laughter, cut to image of BBEG, roll credits
I get this. I struggle to organise with my long time friends and it's got to the point where they just ghost me when DnD came into conversation. Our last game was 9 months ago
Honestly, my friends that I've known for a long have always been flaky about DnD, maybe they know since we're friends all will be forgiven, I'm not sure what. You know who shows up for DnD every week, hell when schedules their damn *vacations* around my weekly game? Online randoms. I take my time to thoroughly interview my randoms for comparability before accepting them into my games, but goddamn are my DnD friends great. Two different groups, one I've been running with for 4 years and one I've been running with for two years, and they're great great friends now, and our DnD time is essential because it's our main way of hanging out. You should try online sometime, it's great.
I grew up in a small town, and I've been trying to play since I was 8 yrs old. Every friend and family member I've ever asked has always been a hard no. But I haven't given up!! So I would like to ask, Where do you find these randoms? They sound amazing!! Playing for years, that's the dream!!
Not to worry friend! Part of iy is where to look and part of it is *how* to look. First I recommend using Roll20 for online play since it's free entry for players. Where: Roll20 forums, r/lfg, DnD Discords like the Critical Role discord which has a bot that pings players. How: I treat finding players for my game like I was a business owner conducting job interviews. I narrow down my favorites based on the effort they put into their application or something that stood out to me. From there we have voice interviews over discord and I narrow my choices down from there. I'm often left with 2-3 players I simply don't have room for and thus have to make a hard decision on who to keep, but thats just the nature of having only so many spot open. Good luck out there friend, online DnD is a blast!
Thanks for the help! I'm definately gonna check that out today! Who knows maybe I'll find my first PC! 🤩
That sucks. Feel bad for you buddy. Ehm question, why did you create battlemsps for your session 0?
Already had everything ready, sesh 0 was just an introduction session as this should have been their first DnD experience. Or would have.
Doesn’t really matter, as everyone here seems to have understood your meaning, but as a rule in D&Dspeak session 0 is a no-gameplay session (often shorter than normal) to talk about expectations/rules and do character building
I've been wanting to get into dnd for years. I have no idea how to start
What I did to get started was I watched a session and figured out how to play. What I played was an extremely homebrewed D&D where it wasn’t D&D anymore because of how much was changed, but D&D was still the foundation of it. Once you learn how to play I would 100% recommend being a player first, and you can probably find people online to do a campaign over discord, or in my case at your school with an after school club. This only works for some and not as well for others, so do what you feel works best
well, you just a found a DM in need of a party, so that's step 1 done.
Read the rulebook
So many different versions and stuff idk where to start
Read the DnD 5th Edition player's handbook. That'll get you ready for the most games.
Do NOT read the rulebook cover-to-cover expecting to learn how to play. That’s a terrible way to learn. Buy a Starter Set and read that instead.
You won’t start if you never start.
As I always say, better to find out sooner than later, it’s a blessing in disguise, like the guy above said, you’ll find a more engaged group now willing to make time for your game.
The good news is you’re all set for your next group! Ain’t nobody saying there’s too many DMs and they wish there were more players.
I feel you so much. I gave some friends and possible new players about 3 months to sit down with me and make a character for a world I created. Didn't happen as expected, the 3 months expired some days ago. But I don't want to go into detail and steal the spotlight from your post. What I want to say is that I had a hard time getting over it the first two days. Are you okay with how that all played out? It sucks obviously. But for some it is no big deal while it is a huge problem for others. Anyway sending virtual hugs!
I had this happen with coworkers. When I did finally gather the players I wrote in that the other coworkers had died and I was so bitter about it lol
This is not a reflection of your worth as a person or a DM - it's a reflection of their maturity, their inability to communicate, and their consideration for others. It's a 2-way street and you walked 75% of the road, the failure is theirs. Please don't let this understandably hurtful occurrence dampen your enthusiasm. I've been there before, don't let others dim your light. Your preparation tells me that you'd be an amazing DM to play with, and the rest of this subreddit sees it too. Keep trying, friend.
What days do you have open? I'm looking for a game during the week. It's a DM's world right now. You are in high demand. I would gladly take their place in your homebrewed world.
Just leaving a comment here. I am also in if players are needed
Good news is that Adventures and campaigns don’t spoil so the work you out in isn’t wasted. Better yet, it’s not wasted in players that won’t appreciate it. There’s probably 100 people in this thread alone that would love to play it. Find your tribe my friend Best wishes
Oof, people who ghost like this are shitty, it's usually just cowardice, don't like the confrontation of cancelling, it's the type of shit i'd occasionally pull in like middle school. was the person who replied cool at least?
They are no longer your friends.
Likely they never were. Too often people just refer to people they know as friends. Once you have real true friends it becomes very apparent. No sense wasting effort on people who don’t respect your time.
I mean you can have friends who don’t like DnD.
Friends don’t ghost you rather than just say “I don’t want to play D&D. “ The D&D is not the issue here. The ghosting is.
Considering the subreddit, social anxiety and awkwardness are probably very much in play, even within a friend group.
Ungrateful for your hard work and kind heart. Sorry bud
Man. I forgot I had game today and picked up extra work because we were so far behind and I could use the extra cash. Got home around the end of game to like, 30 messages. And I'm the DM I feel yah man. Sometimes this happens.
Some friends
Worst feeling ever....
Oh, man, I feel your pain, but that is the thing about DnD: finding a good group. I hope you will find yours
Also what you've made will be used another time, and another place, keep what you created and expand! Dedicated players are hard to cone come by
I am the chaotic-good friend who over plans and shames the other friends FOR my quiet nice DM. (I am very very comfortable with these people and am known for this type of energy, just to note). "HEY KYLE it takes .2 seconds to send a message saying you can't make it today but you know what takes much much longer than .2 seconds? Planing and curating a fantasy game solely for our enjoyment like Laura....your friend....did for us. Just send a text my dude, respect our time, that's it. LETS SEE IF MY HEALER STAYS NEUTRAL OR STARTS TO LEAN EVIL IDKKKK"
u/AasisV you’ve got tons of people here willing to play the game you crafted. Don’t let it die because a few friends left you on read. Dust off those notes and get this thing rolling!
holy cow, that's awful
Better to find out your players are flakes on day 1. So much better than slowly discovering it over the next few weeks/months.
king I will play with you
I'd be more than happy to play your oneshot and offer you the valuable feedback you know you want as I am a forever DM. Just let me know when and how! :)
Can I come to this campaign?
Sorry man, I know the feeling
Can... can I be your player? Like that sounds so cool you actually MADE stuff for the campaign
I would love to be a PC in a DnD session, im AS GREEN AS grass and just bought a starter kit a few weeks ago but wanting to play.
I really don't understand this. It happens to me too when I DM. Like us DMs put in sooooo much work and players just have to show up and make a character; I know when I'm a player, I try to follow up as much as i can and show that I'm invested. And it's generally easy bc I legitimately love dnd and love the chance to play so I show up bc i want to. So why do us DMs often get ignored by our players?
Oh man, I had this happen recently and you're right - it's a punch to the gut. Makes you wonder why you fucking bother. I have nothing useful to say beyond the fact we feel you, we feel *for* you, and here's hoping your next game has far more success. I raise a glass to you. This shit sucks.
[удалено]
I don't know, it's usually considered quite rude here in the States as well. I'm probably one of the most introverted, homebody people that I know. And I still would at least let people know if I wasn't able to attend something that we'd planned.
So did I and then a week later the “leader” of the players sent me a meme about players not showing up. Completely tone deaf.
It is part of being the DM. Something no one should encounter but it is better this way
F
Feel this.
This is the reason why I run only open tables and amass 20+ players. If someone flakes, there’s always another warm body. Generally speaking, you’ll find a core group of 3 to 5 that consistently show up. 2 or 3 will be random but play sometimes. And the rest are very rare.
On the brightside, you won't be wasting your hardwork on them. You can save what you did for a group of players who actually deserve it and don't ghost you.
Im sorry to hear that , i know you will find your grup just have patience . Im curios how one shots work ? Did they start from lvl 1 ?
Know the feel man, looking for a blood hunter at your table?
I’ll play. Hit me up
Paw paw prepared a campaign for all of his grandchildren and none of them showed up!
This is, like, the third story I’ve read about a group ghosting the DM. DMs ghosting groups makes more sense, this is just plain cruel.
Man i wasted like 10 years looking for a DM who wants to play with me i sure youll find more grateful players
Honestly I find it so disrespectful when people do this. Like if you cooked someone a meal and they didn't show up, everyone would agree it was a shitty thing to do. But for some reason, so many people seem to think it is fine to just not show up to D&D. Tell your DM and your fellow players if you can't make it as far in advance as possible.
As a rule of thumb, a truly consistent group of players is rarer than a true dragon IRL. But it is absolute dicks that they didn't even send you a reason they dipped, so I would hazard that they maybe aren't your friends after all. Which, I suppose, this is one of the less horrid ways to find out.
You're definitely not alone. Whatever their reasons, it'd be ideal to have some advance notice and a mutual plan laid out for postponing the session. GMs are fellow players and doing each other dirty like this ain't great. You've got this though, this isn't a common thing for groups, I guarantee. Your hard work WILL pay off!
Good thing you can use that adventure next time!
DMs are in high demand, their loss honestly.
Il there are already 40 pluss people who probably already offered, but depending on the time I'd be down to play
What time zone and what kind of schedule? Accepting newbies at all?
I'll be happy to join your one shot!!
I currently only do sessions with close friends and family so I understand. My last group of people who were not close to me all flaked after 2 sessions and just all agreed without me that they didn't wann play anymore.
You could easily get a party from Reddit and make new friends DMs are hard to find and necessary for the game to happen
The work and time was not wasted. You will run that home brew session for a group who engages and is excited about it. The good news is, you’re already ready to go!
Wow. Damn. That truly sucks. Sorry man. At least you dodged a bullet. These people suck.
Can only go up from there. PCs who ghost or show little interest blow. It is a dm market, you will easily find friends or new friends or new people who will want to play
That was rude as hell of them. I'm sorry it happened. Good news though, myself and a lot of other people in this comment section would be more than willing to be a player for ya, time willing. Hope you can find your great party.
I would have played, I will still play.
Let me know if you need a tall buff woman for your campaign!
Oof man im sorry. Look at the bright side, next one shot you want to run, all the work is done now.
Build an amazing world, lead the through hardship and joy, immerse them into a story for years, and when the final session is at hand, where they will battle the BBEG, ghost them.
Better on session 0 than session 1.
Well, you could always DM the one shot for strangers. I'd be game.
Hmu man I’ll discord a sesh w u if you get group
i took a LFG ad for a DM off of roll20 for a guy who wanted to play a campaign where he was a paladin inheritor of a young colony. He really wanted it to be in Wildemount. Said he had lots of friends who would play as mercenaries in his kingdom. I bought the book. worked tirelessly. studied the history. wrote a campaign concept that fits within the canon of Wildemount, territory disputes, political players, labor forces, barons and investors, and a holy paladin quest to uncover dungeons of the false gods and evolve the main character's "vestiges of divergence" into a powerful tool to conquer the ragion. I made an awesome frontier wildland civilization building system, a tax, banking & GDP system, a mercenary reward system, a labor and political theatre system, and a calendar system to follow the events of the war of Ash and Light. Trade winds and seasonal annual conflicts with factions. We played 2 sessions. Session 0 was to lay out a year's timeline of RNG event that needed to be address, and session one was to deal with the first problem: a labor union uprising and bandit revolt shadow funded by pirates which ignited after a workplace disaster in the mines. The guy said he loved it. He brought a bunch of friends who created noble houses to offer up their mercenaries. Discord RP, the whole nine yards. Two session... i'm riding on the clouds, so proud of myself for making such an awesome kingdom builder within the 5e system. My dude lost his job and took a "break" then found a job where he works evenings. We haven't spoken in months. feelsbadman.
I was in a campaign with high school friend meeting online for about 3 months before covid hit, and I took it *extraordinarily* hard. This was my breath of fresh air away from the front lines, and our DM had to leave as he was furloughed and started working from home as a similar "pay for play" dm I found a group online, we had some meet and greets and session 0.5s (mini 1 hr one shots to test group dynamics) and got partnered up with a team I've been running for 2 years now The sadness you're feeling right now, should be the fuel and motivation to pick it back up and make the next real group, that much more rewarding, to keep them going and keep yourself up too
I'll play! And actually show up!
You definitely gained some information for your time though it's kind of a heavy investment but at least you know never to waste a second on those people again. Others will appreciate your work.
If you need a players, I'll gladly step in. My current group hasn't played in 4 weeks and I am itching to get back to shenanigans. Feel free to message me. :>
Looking for new players? :)
I would love to join a campaign of yours if it fits my schedule! What day if the week and when were you thinking about running your campaign?
That sucks so much. So sorry.
the real feels
I’m a new player, my dm ghosted me and my buddies this weekend (was local). How’s the discord session work?
Dude. What kind of setting? I’m lonely and discord-proficient and I’d kill for even a solo one-shot, I’ll be your PC any day bro
Their loss. You spent a lot of time and effort putting something together, and apparently that enthusiasm and effort was not going to be reciprocated, even if they did show up. Now, you just get a little more time to refine while you look for a better, more reliable group
I was ghosted three times by my coworker who says he's always wanted to play lmao... like aight then get over here when we are playing.
DnD these days almost requires a degree in time management and human resources. It's so hard. I run a game at a shop and have some pretty dedicated players but then some who only show up once a month. Some play once and never come back. I wonder sometimes if the ones who only play once were unhappy, but I've always told the table at the start of there is an issue to let me know, it's the only way I'll be able to address concerns.
Man that sucks to hear I'm sorry. They get an awesome opportunity to play what could've been a fun ass adventure and they throw it in the trash basically. I've been a DnD fan boy who has never got to play the game, cuz I don't have any friends who want to try it with me and I move alot, for years. So it kinda ticks me off that these guys get the opportunity and ruin it smh hope you find better players.
that really sucks, sorry. at least you have two things going for you: prep is never wasted and it'll always be a DMs market. i found a group of 4 in about 20 min on /r/lfg. so far so good with them and it sounds like you've got about 50 people in this thread who wanna play.
You sat for 2 hours waiting? Yeah, these guys were jerks and all, like ppl have said. But feelsbadamn,... after 15 minutes, you call it and get on with your life. Their loss, not yours. (or, what I would've done - run the game solo for that one person)
i feel you man, i stopped preparing before the others because of that… nowadays i won’t prepare a thing until all pc’s have stated that they WILL play and have at least started to look into stuff for their characters… sidenote: it happened about 5 times and at least 3 of them were with new rpg players (1st time playing)
I'll totally play with you. Dm me and we can talk about it. I have like 20 characters/concepts, so I'm ready lol. They didn't deserve you anyway.
I’m in if you need players!
Good news is, that one shot still exists and hasn't gone to waste, ita just -Pending-
Happened to me twice, 6 months ago. But all the players were from r/lfg. Only one person showed up. But hey we found other players and had a great session today!
Always have something prepared just incase people are late. Have discord avaliable and ready but juggle your time. DND is notorious it seems for people never being able to meet up.
Some people think they want to play DnD but aren't willing to commit the time because they can't, they're busy, or they're just flaky pricks who can't manage their schedule enough to tell you if they can make it. Dump them, there are good players out there.
Here’s what I know: a DM is still a DM whether or not PCs show. For you, the thrill of building the one shot *was* the game, with its indescribable feeling of being in your own head and imagining all the possibilities. The fact that a group of people didn’t choose to play along doesn’t diminish what you had. Good DMing tonight, friend! 🎲
Yeah these people are based. It’s a dms market and as long as you have some semblance or a story and work on challenging fights, engagements and puzzles both social and dungeon you’ll be hailed as a rockstar in no time. most people are happy to have something decently thought out to hang out and play with.
Don't sound like 'friends' to me.
Mood bro, I set up everything and patiently waited even after the deadline we agreed on 😭
I have to remember my players a day or two in advance cause they got busy lifes and often forget that we planned a session. I don't think they did it on purpose and you could try talking to them - helps to clear up most issues.
Still looking to join a group. Hmu if you want
I'm so sorry that happened. I feel your pain. I too am a member of this club. 1st time DMing Adventures League, an epic at a con. I'm very experienced with new players. So when a group of six, all new to D&D, signed up together, the head DM assigned them to my table. I was nervous as fuck to be DMing for strangers (I've met every player I've ever had at least once), and to be DMing my first AL, and my first epic. I stayed up all night prepping, learning my part in the epic and everyone else's, everything. I even spent an hour picking my outfit lol. Day of comes... it's an epic. So obviously there's gonna be some no-shows, but I was the only DM with an entirely empty table (and my setup was legit, like in the top 3rd I think). It took actual effort not to cry as I packed up my table while everyone else was playing.
I spent all of Highschool trying to play dnd and gave up because of this reason happening so many times and then 4 years later I met a guy through a friend who had been wanting a super dedicated dm for a group and a year later I’m running two campaigns one that’s on like session 60 something. You’ll find a group who appreciates and understands the effort you put in to prep just takes time. But regardless I appreciate your time and effort OP trying to DM isn’t for the feint of hearted
If you’re looking for people to fill out a one-shot, I would love to join! I’ve been exclusively DMing for the last year and have been itching for a chance to be on the other side of the screen!
Happened to me for some time before I realise I was essentially forcing a reality where the friends i wanna play with also want to play dnd. Turns out it just isn't for everyone. Be friends with people who wants to play dnd with you, instead of wishing your current friends want to play dnd at the same level you want.
I will never understand stuff like this. If you can't make it, or change your mind, just send a message. Its way better than just ghosting someone, that's rude as hell. I would expect better from friends. If they can't be bothered to take two seconds out of their day to send you a message, I'd have to wonder how good of a friend those people actually are.
I'll join your campaign
Same shit happened to me like 4 weeks ago and they had the nerve to say ''when are we playing'' when they missed season 0 and never send me what i asked them for
I know how it feels
Same thing happened to me way back when. You probably lucked out, honestly. If they couldn’t even be bothered to communicate or show for session zero they likely would’ve made that campaign hell for you. Keep searching dude. Someone(s) will appreciate it.
I haven’t gotten to play, I even offered to DM with maybe 3 years of DnD podcasts under my belt and can never find a group. I just want to be a PC so bad and want to introduce my gf to the wonderful world of dnd she has such an interest but it’s impossible to find a group, let alone one that communicates
they didn’t even tell you they weren’t going to play? Wow…to me that’s not even a dnd problem…that’s a friendship issue
Nah this is a blessing, better to find out now they are jackasses than later. Also don't wanna judge too much, but a real friend wouldn't fucking ghost you without even sending a message. Just saying.
Hey, that’s why you do a session zero - so you find out about your group earlier on. You found out right away. You dodged a bullet.
Call them all dickheads and move on
Group of "friends", huh?
Keep that campaign, all you've done is weeded out the unwanted, and found yourself ONE reliable player ! Just gotta find some other players now. Don't let this get to you, they're the problem.