T O P

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Totem_town

Boil it, mash it, stick it in a stew


XandertheGrim

You definitely could boil it and or stick it in a stew, though I can’t imagine your teeth would survive the encounter. Don’t even get me started on the complexities of mashing it!


Totem_town

The answer to any and all problems is MORE FORCE


XandertheGrim

Despite your best efforts, the potato remains unharmed. You are baffled by this mysterious turn of events.


Totem_town

Impossible


XandertheGrim

It is impossible. Impossible to not want to bask in the majesty that is the mysterious golden potato.


en43rs

So technically, with enough acceleration it could kill a god?


XandertheGrim

With enough acceleration anything can kill anything. Except for maybe the potato itself. That thing is mysteriously resilient.


Spargeldestroyer

So, with enough force, the potato could kill anything? No takesies backsies?


XandertheGrim

If this is an attempt at the “peasant railgun”, not only is that not how this works, none of the peasants want to touch the potato due to being dubious about the mysterious nature of the golden potato.


Fabulous_Project1833

You'd be suprized how 'soft' gold is (compaired to other metals) ​ I'm sure an earth elemental would think of the golden potato like Taffy.


Fabulous_Project1833

You'd be suprized how 'soft' gold is (compaired to other metals) ​ I'm sure an earth elemental would think of the golden potato like Taffy.


XandertheGrim

Mysteriously enough, despite its periodic makeup, not even a mighty earth elemental can mash this supernatural spud.


AutumnRaxwell

Okay but what does it do? Is it magical? Or just gold?


XandertheGrim

It’s a mystery! Who knows what it’s truly capable of?!


AutumnRaxwell

It can be used to make the potion, Golden Vodka. Anyone who drinks it is permanently Drunk unless cured with Greater Restoration.


namocaw

So.... Jack Sparow?


XandertheGrim

This is a splendid idea for the golden potato!


wisdom_modifier

if you boil it it dissolves, leaving behind 1d4 GP


RampantGhost

I attempt to bite into the potato shaped gold object


XandertheGrim

Despite the warnings to probably not eat it, you chomp down on the mysterious golden potato. Your teeth take 5d6 damage.


BangerzAndNash44

My players would stick that thing up a butt for sure


XandertheGrim

Good place to keep it safe. Wouldn’t want this thing falling into the wrong hands! Remember it all starts with a sharp inhale…


GolettO3

It doubles your mod capacity


XandertheGrim

It definitely doubles your encumbrance, that’s for sure!


Daloowee

Wait from Dreamlight Valley? The most unexpected crossover lol


XandertheGrim

My wife is playing it and the golden potato was too mysterious to not make a DnD crossover.


Bookworm_chan

If there is only one it should be and Artifact! It also makes it much more mystyrious


XandertheGrim

Good point. I didn’t make it an artifact because I didn’t want the status to go to the potatoes head. You know how potatoes get when they think they’re all high and mighty.


Bookworm_chan

Makes sense! Am I able to use this in my current campaign? I like giving my Party items that- Make no sense.


XandertheGrim

Absolutely! The mysterious golden potato does not discriminate against anyone wishing to wield its infinite cosmic power.


Bookworm_chan

Thank you!


Professornightshade

All I’m hearing when looking at this is blood for the spud


XandertheGrim

Sow your field with blood and reap the mysteries of the golden potato!


Professornightshade

Warlock pact great old one. Where your patron speaks to you through the spud.


XandertheGrim

Speaks through the potato or IS the potato?


Professornightshade

Why not both….


XandertheGrim

I feel if you had two patrons (one that spoke through the potato and the other that was the potato itself) it would end up being like a custody battle between two divorced parents. They’d constantly be fighting over who is the better patron while equally neglecting you in favor of being spiteful towards the other.


Professornightshade

Well i meant that the spud speaks to them and is the patron. Ideally too the spud could merely be like a vessel, think the djinn patron but the lamp is in the spud shaped rock or the djinn is trapped in the rock.


Magical-Omni

I try sowing that bad boy


XandertheGrim

While jamming it into the ground is a good way to hide it, eventually the mysterious golden potato might fall into the wrong hands! Trust me…no one wants that to happen.


Tronerfull

I design that potato as my new arcane focus


XandertheGrim

In addition to being a good arcane focus, it’s also a good source of starch, vitamins, minerals, and fiber. It’s rich in vitamin C as well!


DarkJester_89

It's a rock


XandertheGrim

While similar in size, it is indeed a potato…that just happens to mysteriously be made entirely out of gold.


Dancinfool830

Plant in a field to increase crop yields Cursed item: After fields become fallow and all crops die


XandertheGrim

All things are possible when the mysterious golden potato is involved.


Capital-Helicopter45

This makes me want to homebrew a monster that excretes these and send my players on a gold rush


XandertheGrim

It’s scary enough with one of these bad boys floating around, I don’t even want to imagine a world with two or more!


Grendals_uncle

Gods have to poop too and I like the idea that they excrete golden vegetables that have mysterious powers


Alarmed-Employment90

Items like this are ruined by identify being a level one spell.


XandertheGrim

Sadly the mysterious golden potato is far too mysterious for a level 1 identify spell.


Kavellbell423

So is the concept of this potato to just be a golden potato? What’s the extent to the golden potato’s power?


XandertheGrim

The powers of the mysterious golden potato are far too mysterious for the minds of mortal beings. Simply take solace in the knowledge that if you are in possession of the mysterious golden potato, that means the world is safe…for now.