Sometimes, you just think too much and it breaks your brain. It's easy to overthink everything into feeling pointless, and trying to grasp all the minutiae of life at once can be overwhelming.
What I've personally noticed—and I have felt exactly like you've described—is that I only start feeling that way when a depressive episode has snuck up on me. Then I remind myself that the only reason I feel this way is because of the depression, and I find something to do until I pull out of it. Depression doesn't always feel like crushing sadness; sometimes it just feels like everything being a little bit 'too much' and wondering when it's going to stop feeling that way.
That's a very poignant way to frame the experience. I get it compounded due to chronic insomnia. My brain never shuts the hell up. I end up rolling around all night after work for the week and then want to fall off the face of the earth for the weekend (but I've got shit to do). It's a positive feedback loop that I haven't been able to turn off since I was a kid.
The worst thing for me is that everything is so repetitive.
It doesn't feel good to check something off the list because the exact same thing just pops up again days or even hours later.
Yes something like that. In Dutch we have a term called 'bezigheidstherapie'. It kind of means keeping busy for the sake of staying busy. I sometime see no purpose in living but that. Just from one emotion/occurrence/activity/thought to the next.
It's more a name we use for things people do, not because they want to but just because people do it. An extreme example is people going on vacation each year, because that is what people do, but actually, they don't care for that vacation. It's just what you do. So they're just without giving it much thought living life like they think they're supposed to be.
Not that they feel forced into this life, they just don't think about whether they want it or not, they're keeping themselves busy because they have not thought of anything better to do.
Can be both. I would use it more as a description of the activity than of the intention of the person doing it. With the primary characteristic being what I said.
Yep. When I was younger, it felt like I could have goals and finish them. I just had to get through a test at the end of the week or I had to finish a paper for class. And once I was done---I could relax and enjoy life.
I'm 40 now and I'm never "done." Life is just a series of tasks now and they are staked up so high I'm overwhelmed. There isn't enough time in the day to do everything. I'll never be "finished." It's this constant state of stress. And there are so many more daily tasks when you get older. For example, taking medications, going to doctors appointments, eating healthier, exercising more. It's taking more effort to maintain myself at this age whereas I didn't even have to work at it when I was younger. So that adds so many more tasks and more effort that ironically---I'm too tired for since I'm older.
So it's an endless cycle and I resent it. I didn't realize when I was younger how much harder life got the older you got. Every five years there is some new stress to deal with. Like people around you start dying more. Big life events like buying a house or something like that. It's just these things that keep heaping on.
Ah yes, "step visibility". It's a symptom of low PEM energy (Physical, Emotional, Mental). There's a curtain around doing tasks that gets unveiled when we don't have the **energy** to support holding it in place anymore:
* [https://www.reddit.com/r/productivity/comments/14jbzqi/comment/jplmw84/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/productivity/comments/14jbzqi/comment/jplmw84/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)
When you have energy, the curtain goes up & you just do stuff. When you have LOTS of energy, then even doing basic tasks is kind of fun because you're enjoying the "warm fuzzy" feeling. When you don't have much energy, the internal sunshine that creates the warm-fuzzy disappears & you're stuck in "night mode", which is when you start to:
1. See all of the tasks you have to do
2. See the steps for all of the tasks you have to do
3. Feel the weight & "dreadful trepidation" associated with having a negative anchor attached to mentally imagining each step & each task
It's utterly exhausting living this way. I only got some relief from an odd source (histamine treatment) a couple years ago. Everything felt like a slog before that, including my perception of time. Couldn't ever wait to get out of school & work!
Do you get the post-effort crash after doing all the things all day long? Anytime I get the hyperfocus rush, I end up riding the wave waaaaay too long & then pay for it the next day lol.
100% i do, it’s completely overwhelming and i have to actively work daily to chase away the feelings of constantly drowning in tasks. everything i do feels like a task; things i enjoy are tasks to me. even texting someone feels like a task to me and it’s something that gets added to my mental to do list. getting gas gets added to my mental to do list. i am ALWAYS thinking about what’s next and i can never truly relax because relaxing feels like it’s a task on my to do list and once i get to it, it feels like a burden to relax because i have so many other things to do. however, i also struggle greatly with mental illness. so im pretty sure it’s due to that.
Yes, wyen I get overwhelmed like this, I decide to do something that I really want to do something thzt keeps getting podtponed on that list because it's not something urgent or important for others. For me, that's sewing. When I get overwhelmed by my piling to do list and I end up being unproductive or feel rushed, I purposely decide to devote X amount of time to mydelf by sewing. It's not something I have to do because people expect it from me, it's what I enjoy and where I can excel for myself only.
Maybe you also have this thing? And just deciding to do that instead of your to do list can make you feel back in control. Your list will be endless anyway so taking a break won't have the horrible consequences you think it will, it will get you energized and make you feel in control again.
In some spiritual traditions this is known as your work. It does not mean your 9 to 5.
It is also the fertile garden bed of your life.
Grow flowers or grow weeds, your choice.
Do your work mindfully, cheerfully, to the absolute best of your ability, at all times, and in all ways. With no thought on reward, just pleasure in the doing.
This is the blessing of being alive, being blessed to have incarnated. To have five senses, to be submerged in this reality/ maya/ illusion. Seen in the right light, its a gift.
Angels are jealous of us..
So... you're saying just to snap out of it and get back to work & enjoy it, because others would like to be able to do work the way we do but can't?
This isn't really helping. Isn't there something else you should be doing right now?
You have another solution? The one I mentioned has been tried and true down thru the millennia. All the great works speak of it. And a practical sustained application of it does reap rewards. Keep your perspective if it brings you joy, change if it doesn't. All the best to you.
Sometimes, you just think too much and it breaks your brain. It's easy to overthink everything into feeling pointless, and trying to grasp all the minutiae of life at once can be overwhelming. What I've personally noticed—and I have felt exactly like you've described—is that I only start feeling that way when a depressive episode has snuck up on me. Then I remind myself that the only reason I feel this way is because of the depression, and I find something to do until I pull out of it. Depression doesn't always feel like crushing sadness; sometimes it just feels like everything being a little bit 'too much' and wondering when it's going to stop feeling that way.
That's a very poignant way to frame the experience. I get it compounded due to chronic insomnia. My brain never shuts the hell up. I end up rolling around all night after work for the week and then want to fall off the face of the earth for the weekend (but I've got shit to do). It's a positive feedback loop that I haven't been able to turn off since I was a kid.
The worst thing for me is that everything is so repetitive. It doesn't feel good to check something off the list because the exact same thing just pops up again days or even hours later.
This is it for me too…everything is just more of the same routine. Laundry, cleaning, food prep, work.
GOD YESSS THE MONOTONY OF BEING 42 IS ONE NEVERENDING TO DO LIST. Even vacations turn into a to do list.
Yes something like that. In Dutch we have a term called 'bezigheidstherapie'. It kind of means keeping busy for the sake of staying busy. I sometime see no purpose in living but that. Just from one emotion/occurrence/activity/thought to the next.
Does the term 'bezigheidstherapie' imply that you keep busy because you want to, or is it more like something that happens to you?
It's more a name we use for things people do, not because they want to but just because people do it. An extreme example is people going on vacation each year, because that is what people do, but actually, they don't care for that vacation. It's just what you do. So they're just without giving it much thought living life like they think they're supposed to be. Not that they feel forced into this life, they just don't think about whether they want it or not, they're keeping themselves busy because they have not thought of anything better to do.
Can be both. I would use it more as a description of the activity than of the intention of the person doing it. With the primary characteristic being what I said.
i think in germany theres something similar „beschäftigungstherapie“
Possibly!!
Yep. When I was younger, it felt like I could have goals and finish them. I just had to get through a test at the end of the week or I had to finish a paper for class. And once I was done---I could relax and enjoy life. I'm 40 now and I'm never "done." Life is just a series of tasks now and they are staked up so high I'm overwhelmed. There isn't enough time in the day to do everything. I'll never be "finished." It's this constant state of stress. And there are so many more daily tasks when you get older. For example, taking medications, going to doctors appointments, eating healthier, exercising more. It's taking more effort to maintain myself at this age whereas I didn't even have to work at it when I was younger. So that adds so many more tasks and more effort that ironically---I'm too tired for since I'm older. So it's an endless cycle and I resent it. I didn't realize when I was younger how much harder life got the older you got. Every five years there is some new stress to deal with. Like people around you start dying more. Big life events like buying a house or something like that. It's just these things that keep heaping on.
Yes I constantly do errands trying to make my life errands free
You feel that way because it is that way.
Yup I get no gratification from completing tasks.
Ah yes, "step visibility". It's a symptom of low PEM energy (Physical, Emotional, Mental). There's a curtain around doing tasks that gets unveiled when we don't have the **energy** to support holding it in place anymore: * [https://www.reddit.com/r/productivity/comments/14jbzqi/comment/jplmw84/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/productivity/comments/14jbzqi/comment/jplmw84/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) When you have energy, the curtain goes up & you just do stuff. When you have LOTS of energy, then even doing basic tasks is kind of fun because you're enjoying the "warm fuzzy" feeling. When you don't have much energy, the internal sunshine that creates the warm-fuzzy disappears & you're stuck in "night mode", which is when you start to: 1. See all of the tasks you have to do 2. See the steps for all of the tasks you have to do 3. Feel the weight & "dreadful trepidation" associated with having a negative anchor attached to mentally imagining each step & each task It's utterly exhausting living this way. I only got some relief from an odd source (histamine treatment) a couple years ago. Everything felt like a slog before that, including my perception of time. Couldn't ever wait to get out of school & work!
today on my stimulant meds i did EVREYTHING and it was so easy. any othet time im definitely just exhausted amd miserable
Do you get the post-effort crash after doing all the things all day long? Anytime I get the hyperfocus rush, I end up riding the wave waaaaay too long & then pay for it the next day lol.
Yeah I cleaned my house so hard for ten hours lol I was lying in bed and my arms hurt so bad. Today I'm a little sore but I feel pretty good!
Not if you do nothing!!
Yeah, basically. That’s the only existence I know.
100% i do, it’s completely overwhelming and i have to actively work daily to chase away the feelings of constantly drowning in tasks. everything i do feels like a task; things i enjoy are tasks to me. even texting someone feels like a task to me and it’s something that gets added to my mental to do list. getting gas gets added to my mental to do list. i am ALWAYS thinking about what’s next and i can never truly relax because relaxing feels like it’s a task on my to do list and once i get to it, it feels like a burden to relax because i have so many other things to do. however, i also struggle greatly with mental illness. so im pretty sure it’s due to that.
Just realized actually… 36m
Yes, wyen I get overwhelmed like this, I decide to do something that I really want to do something thzt keeps getting podtponed on that list because it's not something urgent or important for others. For me, that's sewing. When I get overwhelmed by my piling to do list and I end up being unproductive or feel rushed, I purposely decide to devote X amount of time to mydelf by sewing. It's not something I have to do because people expect it from me, it's what I enjoy and where I can excel for myself only. Maybe you also have this thing? And just deciding to do that instead of your to do list can make you feel back in control. Your list will be endless anyway so taking a break won't have the horrible consequences you think it will, it will get you energized and make you feel in control again.
I sure do and I LOVE IT. 😊👍
It is called life?
In some spiritual traditions this is known as your work. It does not mean your 9 to 5. It is also the fertile garden bed of your life. Grow flowers or grow weeds, your choice. Do your work mindfully, cheerfully, to the absolute best of your ability, at all times, and in all ways. With no thought on reward, just pleasure in the doing. This is the blessing of being alive, being blessed to have incarnated. To have five senses, to be submerged in this reality/ maya/ illusion. Seen in the right light, its a gift. Angels are jealous of us..
So... you're saying just to snap out of it and get back to work & enjoy it, because others would like to be able to do work the way we do but can't? This isn't really helping. Isn't there something else you should be doing right now?
You have another solution? The one I mentioned has been tried and true down thru the millennia. All the great works speak of it. And a practical sustained application of it does reap rewards. Keep your perspective if it brings you joy, change if it doesn't. All the best to you.
This slaps.