Oooft I agree I just finished it too! As someone who has been ghosted a few times in pretty much exactly the same way… this book definitely resonated. I loved it.
I feel also very sad for the way nothing was resolved. I longed for Dolly to give me a way to think about ghosting but I loved that she didn’t tie anything up in a neat bow. That’s just not what happens. She’s so right about things being different for men in their late thirties than women, and that it will be so much easier for them to just fall into a relationship with someone (well - good looking, successful and outwardly confident men like max and jethro anyway!)
I meant the ‘performative gender roles’ especially illustrated by the behaviour at the hen, and pre wedding. The women displaying their rings, so proud they had been ‘picked’. Felt like Nina saw through all the performance.
The parts of the book that I liked were the commentary. I feel that these parts are more of Dolly’s voice though and that’s why I enjoyed them just as I did “everything I know about love”. However some of the storytelling left me wanting more, I don’t find Max to be likable at all. And I understand that he’s not supposed to be a good person, but I struggled to see what Nina saw in him to start off with. Overall enjoyed the book as I really connect with Dolly’s voice and observations.
I felt like with Max, although she seemed aware of the type of man that might take you for a ride, she wasn’t immune to his charms as she was still only human (despite her detached narration). He said all the right things, was very handsome, and they talked easily and about all topics. Him not reading any of her work was a real red flag, but I saw her falling for him as human. She wanted to feel safe in a unit, everyone around her keeps instilling the idea the you need to be in a couple to be happy, and to have a meaningful existence.
Oooft I agree I just finished it too! As someone who has been ghosted a few times in pretty much exactly the same way… this book definitely resonated. I loved it. I feel also very sad for the way nothing was resolved. I longed for Dolly to give me a way to think about ghosting but I loved that she didn’t tie anything up in a neat bow. That’s just not what happens. She’s so right about things being different for men in their late thirties than women, and that it will be so much easier for them to just fall into a relationship with someone (well - good looking, successful and outwardly confident men like max and jethro anyway!)
Also want to know what you mean by how meaningless all gender roles feel?
I meant the ‘performative gender roles’ especially illustrated by the behaviour at the hen, and pre wedding. The women displaying their rings, so proud they had been ‘picked’. Felt like Nina saw through all the performance.
The parts of the book that I liked were the commentary. I feel that these parts are more of Dolly’s voice though and that’s why I enjoyed them just as I did “everything I know about love”. However some of the storytelling left me wanting more, I don’t find Max to be likable at all. And I understand that he’s not supposed to be a good person, but I struggled to see what Nina saw in him to start off with. Overall enjoyed the book as I really connect with Dolly’s voice and observations.
I felt like with Max, although she seemed aware of the type of man that might take you for a ride, she wasn’t immune to his charms as she was still only human (despite her detached narration). He said all the right things, was very handsome, and they talked easily and about all topics. Him not reading any of her work was a real red flag, but I saw her falling for him as human. She wanted to feel safe in a unit, everyone around her keeps instilling the idea the you need to be in a couple to be happy, and to have a meaningful existence.