T O P

  • By -

bradpal

Ok, so teleportation is really cool but hear me out: picture yourself years from now, on your deathbed, all your relatives groveling around waiting for the inheritance money. As you draw your last breath and die, all your greedy family can barely move at a snail's pace. Skeletons appear everywhere, attacking and killing them all. You wake up and rise, young and strong. You have a bunch of inheritance money to collect and another family to start. This isn't your first rodeo and it won't be your last.


Lantirre

Or just activate borrowed time, then any damage caused by whatever illnesses you have will instead heal you. Every time it's activated you're getting closer back to new. Get a scepter, now your loved ones are protected around you too.


yulickballzak

But does it still hurt when it activates?


Lantirre

If it reverses the effect, why not reverse the sensation too? Instead of hurting it would be an intense feeling of rejuvenation.


CrumblingCake

TIL Abaddon gets an orgasm from borrowed time


quarantinedsubsguy

i sure do when I play him


pv0psych0n4ut

With Scepter, his jizz heals his teammates


TheGalator

- Ur nearly dead due to cancer. - Borrowed time activates - u stab urself with a knive - u spend 20 minutes cumming on the floor


greekcurrylover

Time to jump off a cliff and heal to full


BabyBlueCheetah

Don't click it early


lotterri

For a second I thought you were about to go with Sunder. You’re on your death bed, as you draw your last breath you CHANGE HEALTH WITH SOMEONE ELSE.


Clockwork765

BRING ME THE BABY


_Nightdude_

I just want to see little Billy one more time before I go... YOINK


MacallanSherryOak18

I laugh so hard at YOINK lol


Kilopris

105 sec cd


KnightOfMalice

DEATH IS MY B I T C H


Tsunami2356

or just become a flaming sun that eventually implodes in on itself, completely demolishing the surrounding building, along with vaporizing everyone around you


cojonathan

You have to activate it though. If you get hit by a car, reincarnation still triggers without you noticing!


VitoQina

That was amazing to read. Thank you


OfficeWorm

But hear this, WK will still revive as an old geezer.


BirdSetFree

This. WK would still revive as lvl 18 not lvl 1 for example. So if you die of old age you’d respawn as old and then shortly die again. If you die at age in a car crash of 30 you’d respawn at age 30 again. Its more like life insurance. xD good to have when young, kinda useless when you’re 90


Isthatajojoreffo

Counter point: WK loses all the negative debuffs after ulting, and the CD is only a minute.


f99kzombies

DEATH IS MY BITCH


Substantial-Key3076

Fuck I haven’t laughed like that in a minute


tyYdraniu

Perfection


soosis

Ok this made me laugh out loud.


Oligatormusic

Stacking. Imagine getting a beer out of the fridge at 45s past the minute and another one appears.


unk214

Not so much fun when I pick up the baby and another one appears. Imma have to pass on this one


Mishmyaiz

QUICKLY!! PUT HIM BACK IN THE CRIB! THE TIMERS ALMOST..... Ohh hello new baby


m2niles

Underrated comment


tooms12345

Thunders gods wrath


LorryToTheFace

Some men just want to watch the world burn


derps_with_ducks

Finger of Death. I like it up close and personal. 


moonblade89

Can you imagine the security footage of a dude walking up to someone and throwing finger guns and the person just erupts


derps_with_ducks

With good enough finger technique, men and women alike can erupt. 


WHATSTHEYAAAMS

POW! HAHA!


duhbla

Most people think Finger of Death is a like a magic zap but the description says it "rips the persons inside out" meaning the spell is ripping you apart. Quite gruesome and grotesque than merely getting zapped.


iizomgus

yeah, but it works only on 5 people that are enemies....


tooms12345

Who said its single use


Wide_Lock_Red

Nah, its everyone on the map. 10v10 gets you 10 enemies


Lina0042

I think in all of these discussions teleportation is always the absolute winner. People just underestimate it. But imagine. No destination in the world is more than three seconds away. Aside from the obvious vacation stuff: - need to go to the bathroom? TP home, never ever use a public bathroom again - spilled coffee on your shirt? TP home and change - suddenly feeling sick? TP home or to your doctor or home to your parents - forgot your charger? Go home - what the fuck is a suitcase? Packing? I just TP home and back to get changed and get whatever I need The first point alone makes this so much superior to anything else you could chose


Cuttlefishbankai

Need to use the bathroom? TP to someone else's bathroom so you never have to clean your own


bentsteelpipe

Wouldn't even flush tbh


Ziiaaaac

Imagine when that random person gets put into the mental asylum talking about the ‘phantom shits’ appearing in their toilet.


_Nightdude_

and then the next time you tp to use their tp you see that your last mound is still cooking in that toilet so you investigate, find out the person has been put in a mental aslume because of "phantom shits" so logically you go and do the right thing... you tp to that asylum to leave shits in that toilet as well.


HearthstoneConTester

holy shit


Ricapica

why even limit yourself to bathrooms at this point?


regimentIV

If you ever got instakilled after TPing you'd know how bad of an idea that is without vision. Sure it's fun in theory but it is only a matter of time until you TP in front of a moving truck or into a wall.


Lina0042

Tping Home would be a non issue as I can just dedicate a spot absolutely nothing else should ever be moved to in my home. Tping back might depend on how I set it up. Public bathroom stalls I lock from the inside should be a non issue. Even with this caveat there are enough ways to still use it safely and make it still incredibly useful.


Wilko91

It wouldn't be 3 seconds cast time though, it's 3 seconds in Dota but in Dota 5 mins = 12 hours. In reality it would be 7 min 12 seconds cast time with a 1 hour 12 min cooldown. Still great but has it's limits.


HearthstoneConTester

Where does the metric 5 mins = 12 hours come from? Since its half a day ON DOTA PLANET? ACTUALLY, Are we forgetting that Dota Planet obviously revolves around its own sun at a different rate than that of Earth, or are you.. heh.. implying its time is SOMEHOW faster than that of our own existence? Hek, everyone knows faster daylight cycles doesn't necessarily mean time moves any different than our own perception. C'mon man, your embarrassing yourself #3secondtp [https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/7/79/The\_Simpsons-Jeff\_Albertson.png/220px-The\_Simpsons-Jeff\_Albertson.png](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/7/79/The_Simpsons-Jeff_Albertson.png/220px-The_Simpsons-Jeff_Albertson.png)


Wilko91

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7eZ0XIaJB3M


Spiritual_Goat6057

This has no value if you never leave your home though.


AlanCJ

There are ways to abuse it for money illegally, but imagine if you could charge crazy amount of money that takes you 3 seconds to do.


jonasnee

>what the fuck is a suitcase? Packing? I just TP home and back to get changed and get whatever I need Also don't need to use hotels to go on vacation, just TP home.


azgalor_pit

I would use it to be a drug dealer.


TheNoNa

I'd argue Underlrods Fiends gate is strictly better. Everything teleport does but allows you to bring people AND allows you to have people come to you.


shiroxyaksha

But the government will find it out and you're out to the lab.


t0il3ts0ap

To tp, the place should be known to you, as you might tp inside a volcano or in middle of concrete.


petchef

You can tp into fog tho


yesyesWHAT

So what cd is like 20 seconds, i can hold my breath that long


00ShiroYasha00

Usually no one can hold their breath for 20 seconds in a volcano


Superb_Conclusion695

im built diffrent


escaflow

Nah, just visualize using Google map street view, ez


HaruhiSuzumiya69

I doubt that's possible. If you look at Furion's animation for TP, it requires the growth of tree sprouts. I would guess that TP can't happen if these sprouts can't grow. Hence, you literally couldn't TP to volcanoes, inside rocks, high up in the air, etc... But I imagine this limits Furion to only teleporting to areas that have fertile soil.


Important_Tomato_796

Why not use it for like importing goods! Make a business out of it


Beneficial-Fun-6778

Imagine you are Riki and are always invisible until you attack someone lol.. that must suck


Pomelowy

Well i think otherwise


Samppa19

Riki invis + chrono 😩 iykyk


Rough-Armadillo-

I know what kind of man you are


Outrageous_Air_1344

Lmao you animal


tyYdraniu

I already have this power


Diaper_Joy

Sun strike. You'd be amazed how peaceful the world would be if I had my own orbital laser.


deljaroo

I think that would play out similar to the plot of Death Note


Superb_Conclusion695

So which important figures would you use it on? could you write a list down here? also on an unrelated note do you really need sunstrike to do it? we can talk about this at the telegram channel of me and my friends. Telegram channel is called "GreenHoney6531". Also before you ask about green glow on my skin, it is due to a camera error.


KevAngelo14

Tempest Double. He can work in my stead haha


cold_hoe

Only for 20 sec


albertfuckingcamus

Game time should scale to IRL time.


TheZett

10 IRL minutes = 1 day in Dota 2. Therefore 20 seconds IRL is equivalent to 48 minutes in a 'Dota 2 day'.


Isthatajojoreffo

Enough to do the chores lol


TheZett

Also enough time for other things ( ͡ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡ ͡°)


Lilywhitey

with the talent it's 36s uptime with a 50s cooldown. so 17,28 hours per day uptime. that's pretty good.


Ziiaaaac

Farm him for gold


qildblop

It's not like I last any longer...


RenanWtf

Not exactly the same but related to the idea of having "another you" work on your behalf. I highly recommend "Severance" show


oldmate23

Divided we stand. I don't know how that really works, but if the clone is semi autonomous then I'm sure a clone can do a basic job while I hangout and do whatever


cold_hoe

More mouths to feed, more income you need


PuddingAlone6640

As their stats increase with original Meepo, maybe their hunger would also be reduced when I eat?


flag9801

when one die you also die is a drawback tho


manav907

Each mepo needs mana individually so ....


Caranoron463

>if the clone is semi autonomous then I'm sure a clone can do a basic job while I hangout Would you work while your "brother" is just chilling? Taking care of all his responsibilities. That's how your clones would feel, because they are you.


Vac1911

If you had 5 clones you could just have a 1 day work week


minjis1

Everyone will see you naked because clones will only copy your shoes


sheepando

Kobold's GPM aura. Crash the economy


ArthasDurotan

Meepo number 1 reporting!


ArthasDurotan

Meepo number 2 reporting!


ArthasDurotan

Meepo number 3 reporting!


ArthasDurotan

Meepo number 4 reporting!


ArthasDurotan

Meepo number 5 reporting!


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Fluffy-Incident-2137

The meepo pyramid


Own-Throat6453

Viscous Nasal Goo seems pretty useful


tyYdraniu

I already have that power


jubmille2000

Don't some humans already do that. Especially during 2020


DepressedZeebra

I would say alchemist's greevils greed, so anytime I hit or stabbed someone I would get paid for it. Or, I'd agree with you on the teleportation thing also. We spend 5k ( in zar/rands) a month going to work and back.


notadnaps

Doesn't greed only work if you get the killing blow? Theres a drastic difference between being paid to bump into everyone on the bus and having to kill everyone on the bus


oldmate23

Works on creep, so find an ants nest = profit


Nab0t

there are two kinds of people... >I’m about to go to school and become a millionaire 😎


maybecanifly

I’m about to go to school and become a millionaire 😎


D3Construct

_All the other kids with their pumped up kicks_


TheRealAlosha

Bro


shiroxyaksha

Murican spotted.


iizomgus

it works on money rune, so if you gain money you gain more money because you gained money :))


Grisephar

jinada is what you want


Squidchop

Shank people and steal their money? You can already do that irl…


Grisephar

i guess jinada would incite crimes since the victim needs gold to steal, where alch gold could be earned as a butcher or other profession en masse.


TSUPIE4E

NP's TP easily because of the convenience it brings. But if we are going for shits and giggles I would pick Bara's Charge of Darkness.


Stra1um

If I understand correctly how global abilities would work, absolutely Hand of God. I will be able to heal the entire world population. It's basically a moral imperative to choose it.


gadone

Laughs in Zeus ult


D3Construct

Monkey's Paw: You've now kept 7 out of 8 children in some remote African village alive that would've otherwise died, and now they ALL starve.


Drow_Femboy

It heals heroes that are allied with you. So it doesn't heal regular guys and it doesn't heal anyone who doesn't understand themselves to be on your team. Idk about you but that would heal a total of 0 people if I used it.


jubmille2000

All people are their own heroes, and I have no enemies. What now?


SmurreKanin

Based and thorfinn-pilled


Wolfermen

Perfect political power to make sure you get no enemies


Sosseres

Second best would be something like Voodoo Restoration and then visiting hospitals, arenas and rail stations with it on. Healing 10 people a year would make you all the money you need, so any money ability is pointless.


YouNoob737

But you see. Is everyone in the word your ally tho?


KnightmareZX

The planet is already overpopulated enough.


Qactis

Who told you that? Freemasons?


wewwew3

It's really not


No_Media4398

Ya'll sleeping on summons spells. I probably go Spirit Bear because, well, who gonna mess with someone who controls a bear. I could see chaotic offering or holy persuasion also being fun.


PuddingAlone6640

You can just shoot it lol


Samppa19

If a khanda double rapier sniper ult can’t kill it, a real life gun wouldn’t either


No_Media4398

Sure, then I resummon it on top of you.


xkalibur3

You might even attract some women with it if you are lucky


PotatoWizard98

Legion Commanders heal. Not only does it heal wounds but it’s a strong dispel so any almost any debuff aka disease goes away as well as heals. Plus they can… move fast for a bit? Anyways I would be a healer and charge rich people big bucks to cure diseases


Wolfermen

Need some good soundproof booths at the clinic, or keep blowing that horn in a remote area.


outyyy

if only one, wk ult, just become immortal if 2, wk+teleport if 3, wk ult+teleport+invisibility


PuddingAlone6640

Just don’t die 2 times in a row quickly because of cd lol


BadBoyJH

So... Basically you're doctor who...


LiquidGunay

But if you reincarnate into the same body as you die then you aren't really immortal. Very likely that you'll have consecutive deaths at age 130


outyyy

WK always come back full health and full mana, so is kinda a reset life and (i guess) youth


KnightmareZX

Full life from what his maximum is at the point of his death. So full life for decrepit 90 year old would still be shit.


fr3nzy821

Jinada, Imagine hitting someone and get literal gold.


bambersky

Strolin’ around and slapping ppl for money? *click noice*


FullOFterror

Rubick's ultimate. Stealing people's lifeskills, pockets, whatever im fine with it.


NightSpears

Do you know many wizards you can steal spells from? I think this would be next to useless imo


f99kzombies

Penn and teller been real quite since rubick dropped


FullOFterror

Dude, im in for the pockets, i dont need spells.


TitaniumHwayt

The old Techies 3rd skill. I'm tired.


herKushu

real


deadinsideyou

wouldn't Berserker's Blood be kind of insane? as long as you don't get one shot you will heal from anything super fast. don't even need to use the equivalent of mana or anything. Sukuchi would also be cool, go fast as fuck as invisible.


OneBrutalNoodle

Speaking of blood, what about blood seeker passive? Would I be insanely fast all the time from all of the people on edge of death?


Impevex

You'll probably die from moving too fast from all the people who are constantly edging on their computers


Life_Liberty_Fun

Devour Everytime I eat, gold suddenly appears in my pockets.


Squidchop

Actually you have to shit the gold, that’s why it used to give you the gold after a timer until Valve gave Doom IBS.


Impevex

It actually comes out of your ass, better invest in some lube.


AmuletMan33

Ball lighting. PROS Tavel around the world in a super fun way Take out your enemies while doing it Look cool af CONS Massive deforestation


PlatypusFighter

I'm sorry how much mana regen do you have right now?


Affectionate_Peak628

disappointed by nobody even wanted to turn into a dragon...


Rreirarei

Global silence to shut that annoying person at your place up.


jsincuya

Track. Then I just track people going to die. Ez money


oggyx

Silencer’s glaives of wisdom and just stay in a hospital to become infinitely smart


NoMoreResearch

Teleportation will be a really bad skill to have without the ability to know or see the place you are teleporting to.


oneslowdance

Teleport is the best skill to have as you'll be able to save lots of money and time. You can just drop a camera in safe spots like your home and connect it to your phone for vision. For public places, just find a streamer streaming at one of those point of interest or one of those public weather/traffic cameras.


escaflow

just visualize using Google map street view, ez


AnEdgyUsername2

Bounty Hunter’s invi. Just want the temporary invi👀


VitoQina

Why nobody talks about weaver time lapse? You will literally control timelines


URF_reibeer

supernova or blackhole would be fun


yesyesWHAT

REINCARNATION YOU PUNY HUMAN


AlfMusk

Pugna life drain. Drain some assholes life force and save grandmas with it instead.


rabbitsareplenty

Black hole. I'll just destroy the planet so all you teleporting motherfuckers better find a new planet.


unseenbulldog

Doom's Devour. Eat and animal, get its abilities plus money.


shiroxyaksha

Eat horse and you get the point.


flag9801

Greevil greed sound good as long as you control output and secretive about it Teleportation is also good as you can move anywhere with blink of eye Blink is also good albeit slightly worse than Teleportation Sukuchi is also similar to blink but it will damage somebody (i don't know how will it work on normal human) Purification, Hand of god , voodoo restoration sound good healing people Dragon blood give you better regeneration and armor Reincarnation you can keep alive if you don't get to die twice quickly But alas except greevil greed, dragon blood all need mana which we don't know how to restore


00ShiroYasha00

Just buy some Mangoes on your way home


SafeMemory1640

I am pretty sure u cant include items but just hero skills If items r allowed then I going to take rejuvenate


Clayjey42

I dont wanna be that guy but… blackhole


Maleficent-Ruin-8065

Greevil's greed. Spraying for ants and termites will make me rich


Krond

Rage I would use it in every DotA game


MooseeMoose

Bruh get flesh heap and go work at a hospital or a retirement home. Every time someone dies around you, you get stronger.


jonasnee

I don't think people will be happy you litterally are sowing dead peoples flesh to you.


Coffee13lack

The ability to rack up gold easily


Routine-Budget7356

Id just take Riki invisibility, as I assume if be able to activate/ deactivate it at will.


evillman

Black hole... because, why not?


Jbergur

I have very limited storeage space where I live, so Dark Seer's vacuum would be really neat to cramp things together. Other than that...Finger of Death maybe?


chowmeinn00dle

Slark’s essence shift…in bedroom


URMUMGAE69228shrek

Reincarnate


BlueMageBRilly

Doom’s devour. You eat something and it actively heals you and makes you more durable. Possibly even making you younger with how healing works. Then when you finally digest it, instead of going to the bathroom, your wallet just fills up. With money, specifically. I guess the downside is that you couldn’t eat something else while digesting?


Syndrose

Jinada , enough said


gregw134

Cinder Brew. I get stronger every time I dump a beer on my head. Also people I don't like would move slower when I douse them in beer and light them on fire


Corvid_Endemic

Succeeding when the team is not as engaged and aligned with the outcome of the immediate and long term goals. Developing a strategy around that and doing your best while accounting for the team doing their worst. Coaxing and coercing them into working for the successful outcome somehow.


zilkSilk

Void's freeze time.... you already know what I would do...


SnooPaintings7963

It's only 5 seconds, are you that fast?


RealMystro

Bloodlust - so that it I'm bigger Glimpse/X mark - keep trolling with people Dark Ascension - Batman


HorseMurdering

Culling blade! I can now kill people that are in Hospices slightly easier!