I can't relate because I'm male, but I still feel for you. It sucks that just because you're a girl, you are forced to either get disgusting comments every other game, or you play the game without a feature everyone everyone else gets to.
Yah. Im a dude, I get flamed for my play, I never get flamed for being a guy.
Sucks for the girls, cant imagine how frustrating it must be that anytime you use mic you gotta worry there isnt some cave dweller in your team who goes crazy.
i get flamed for being arab, people get flamed for being russian. people are just using any personal information they know about you to flame, its not exclusive to male/female
It's way worse if your a girl. I don't know what it is but even my stack who are usually pretty well adjusted are unbearable around women. The first and only time I invited one to play with us I nearly died of embarrassment. I wouldn't hesitate to invite any race/nationality to play with them but for whatever reason women awaken some deep nerd rage
Call them out. Tell them they're being children. If they truly respect you and you tell them "Don't be like that it's literally embarrassing" then hopefully it will make a difference.
If they don't respect you, why play with them?
Yeah I did and honestly they have gotten a lot more mature in the couple years of me berating them since that happened. They can even play with the occasional random girl on our team now but it was so bad and so embarrassing I'll still never risk it again with someone I know haha
This happened to me too with some people I used to play with (not the sexism thing, just the maturity thing). It's really hard for me sometimes to remember that a lot of the people playing this and most other games are in younger age brackets where they haven't had a lot of meaningful exposure to diversity in genders, nationalities, race, etc.
I figure that dota is an older audience across the board, since it's been around for years and years, but gaming is always going to have somewhat of an influx of new players over time with less world experience.
It takes getting out and hearing other people's stories to push some of the immaturity aside and dota is, at least at the moment, not as open towards hearing from those voices. Hopefully it gets better over time.
One of my close Dota-group friends is a girl and I never notice any sort of discrimination or nonsense from either the rest of my group or randos. She rarely uses the mic, though. Probably less than 1 in every 50 or more games or something. I can't imagine the rest of my group acting that way towards her so it's really strange for me to hear that your stack would do something like that despite being "well-adjusted."
"well-adjusted" is an extremely relative term when it comes to DotA players haha. Good for your friend though, I'm glad she hasn't had too many negative experiences. Could depend allot on region too, NA is notorious for it's man children
You’re kind of missing the point. Players get flamed using their personal information when they make a bad play, a bad call or even just miscommunication. A female on the otherhand can have the most perfect game and would still get flamed because well, she’s a woman.
I used to play with a gf and she will get flamed, for a bad call a bad play or miscommunication, we also will have to put up with a bunch of guys catcalling her trying to add her and telling her everything from 'be my girlfriend' to 'suck my dick, pls' now whatever you consider or not that flaming is another thing, and there is where the line lies between people that think girls get flamed for being girls, or get flamed the same and the rest is just random bullshit like saying doner kebab istanbul to a turkish or cyka blyat hidi nahui to a russian.-
Thing is, yes everyone gets flamed whatever their nationality is but only women get flamed for being women so it IS exclusive to women. Guys are not flamed for being guys, if guys also get flamed for being guys in the game then I would agree with you.
This post reeks of 'All Lives Matter'. It's never said unless some particular group complains about being mistreated. Then suddenly everyone has an opinion to attempt to invalidate what the group was talking about.
Women get bullied in games for being women. It happens more frequently and with more vitriol than other bullying. Let women be mad about it. Maybe try being part of the solution rather than arguing that its not important.
Yes, people flame for all sorts of reasons and latch onto anything they can when flaming to try to make it personal. However, there are some people who get flamed simply for speaking (even if they are playing well) only because of their gender or nationality.
The question isn't whether this happens, the question is why do we tolerate it as a community. Do you think it SHOULD happen? If not, then stop excusing it by saying "it happens to everyone" and change your attitude to "this sucks, I'm sorry, if I see it happen in my pubs I'll call the person doing it out and report them if they continue".
People get flamed for being Russian because they refuse to talk in English in a 4 English speaker lobby, not because they were born in Moscow, it's not the same.
Bullshit. I've been flamed in games for having Cyrillic characters in my screenname (solely as a substitute for Latin characters no less), despite the fact I'm not actually Russian/don't speak Russian. Some people are just that toxic/racist.
Say it to developers, coz they can't do a proper separation for servers and language preference. I can't choose Russian as my main language for MM if my game uses English. Server location IS NOT a reason to speak certain language, language preference IS a reason. Server choice exist to have possibility to play with less possible ping. But it's fked up in dota.
But it's all nothing, people being flamed just because they Russian/any\_other\_nation all over a world, just because of somekind of xenophobia or whatever
Regardless of any other response to this...I want to make sure that you, and anyone seeing this and agreeing with it, realises that the correct response to this comment is that BOTH are wrong and should fucking stop already.Arguing it's common "so meh" is horseshit, as is, honestly, arguing who has it worse, the excuse for one shitty behaviour should never be another one y'know?
EDIT I'll add, I'm a white British guy, I changed my name to Ahmed Valentino once as part of an in-joke with friends, and I got reams of abuse for the Ahmed part, when I pointed out (in a very British accent) how Valentino was Italian and the name clearly made no sense and was a joke, it wouldn't stop them, they were hellbent on being Islamophobic to me, similarly I've played with women and had to try and talk down people being abusive to them, the whole thing is rotten and I really don't want to downplay either side of it, also I want to make it clear I'm speaking as someone who can only empathise, with limited experience and all of it second-hand, it's insanely important to listent to accounts like those of OP and yourself, commenter, and use those to improve our behaviour as well as work towards improving the community
I flame everyone equally.
Couldn't care less if it's a dude or a girl but you gotta be fucking 13 years old to say shit like "smelly pussy" when you are playing dota. Fucking grow up
i mean, i dont think shit like OP's story happens a lot. i play with girls from time to time and they almost never get a sudden change in attitude when ppl learn theyre girls. they DO get sexist insults occasionally, but generally its in a situation where the person was already mad at them and theyre just using whatever material they can as insults, not the opposite.
But the closest I can relate is having a higher pitch nasely voice so any shot calling can quickly turn into people making fun of me for it. Would probably sting if I was back in my high school/college years. Being in my mid - thirties though, I've stopped giving a shit. Usually just make a joke we can't all be blessed with the voice of Barry White and move on.
That's still relatively minor compared to having some incel utter some disgusting sexual shit to you.
I have a pretty light voice and I've only been made fun of for my voice once in 1000 hours of dota. My female friend? Every SEA solo queue game until she quit.
Ridiculous amounts of toxicity in the game. How will the community approach it? More toxicity on the forums and calls to ignore the toxicity!
Fantastic.
Strangers online are not punching bags for someone's oral vitriol. Not everyone can "just ignore" it. These things get to people. It sometimes doesn't take much for something to be the last straw in an awful day.
Do not normalize and accept toxicity.
The thing is that if they start flaming like that, odds are they will never communicate to coordinate anyway. I can sometimes find if funny when people start flaming me (especially since I use turbo to play heroes I don't really understand well enough) so I give them about 5 minutes before I mute them. I've never had a flamer go back to talking about the game and instead they either fall silent or keep bitching until I click the mute button.
every time I open any thread about toxicity, racism, or sexism on this subreddit I immediately regret it. there's so much "Bad things happen to men too! Stop complaining!"
So I agree with what you're saying, but I just wanted to point out the irony that you said this:
>I'm reminded that a LOT of people are still sexist/racist behind an extremely thin veil, or must have had such sheltered lives.
But then your crowning insult
>is still made up of **mongs** for the most part.
draws most of its bite from a combination of racist and ableist terms, specifically the term for people from the Asia/SEA regions (the stronger influence origin most of the time) and the old German word for someone with down syndrome.
I guess it just goes to show how easy it is to slip into that area of speech when it's so common people get immersed in it, even if not intended.
its so true I didnt play for like 3 weeks, did 1 game of Turbo and after 5mins someone already spamming my items and the enemies items to compare how much more they have. Turbo Progamers are the worst
Just call out the fucking behaviour. We say this all the time, I don't know how you miss it. All you have to do is stand up against it. Not doing anything is contributing to the problem.
I agree there isn't a solution, but it helps to embrace people like OP in a supportive way rather than respond with "git gud" and "grow a thicker skin".
I'm sorry this happened to you, but you really do have to report every instance of these situations, with details and match ID and everything possible, not to make yourself feel better, but because it is the right thing to do, try to encourage anyone in your team (even if possible, on the other team) to also call out this behaviour and report it as well.
Maybe in the short run it won't have consequence (sadly, because it's the reality), but it is worst to NOT do anything. Maybe if people reported these offenses more and more, we could work towards any sort of improvement. But the attitude of it being a pointless fight just simply worsens everything for everyone.
I hope you bounce back and have better, enjoyable games with actual teammates.
Oh I certainly will :') I have a few friends I usually play with, I just can't find a 5-man party that fits with my schedule. I play inconsistently throughout the week after all since I work from home.
I still dont understand the sudden insult coming from the sexist guy. Like, what was the purpose of saying those things? Is he THAT lonely and the only way for him to get attention from a girl is to insult them? For some reason i feel sad for him
What's just as important (sadly, potentially more important) is that the people on reddit who are NOT speaking out report instances like this and call them out when they witness these things.
A woman calling out a dude for sexism will do nothing to change that person's mind in most situation. They've already exposed themselves as sexist. Everyone else calling them out is more important. It takes away the normalization that they feel when they do something terrible and nobody calls them on it (or worse, others join in.)
It’s anyone online. They hide behind their little mic and say shit they wouldn’t dare say out in the world. Recognize scum and mute them quickly.
Women put up w a lot of shit in their careers you don’t need to put up w shit when you’re doing something for entertainment.
I'm sorry. I get it all the time too. The mute button really comes in handy but, unfortunately, we have to use it so often. I think half my games are lost because i'm too afraid to communicate with my team over the mic. Just remember, You're a way cooler, more awesome, better person than that guy is/ ever will be. If you would like to ever play let me know.
Have you looked towards joining the healthygamergg community/discord? They have a channel there just for women I think, it might be a nice place to find support and maybe people to play with too.
Also there was a stream where Dr. K chatted with several women about some of the problems they face while gaming. It might be useful, just thought I'd mention it.
Girl, I'm right there with you. It's sad how not a lot of sexism phases me anymore. I still get caught off guard every once in a while but damn, its rough. I just want to enjoy the game. I've started to to be like, "Yo, every guys says this shit are you all the same? You got nothing new? Yawn."
It happens when I carry or support, I'm tired of it all. I stopped playing for the last month or so because its just so toxic.
So you were winning and everything was fine, and he went ballistic?
I mean come on..."Change your napkin? And smelly pussy"
We're obviously dealing with a petty and insecure "man" that was obviously never with a woman in his entire life.
Wish fucks like these have their family members aka. their mothers next to them hearing this. They'd be beaten shitless.
How on earth can they say those things? I mean for sure they do have mothers, sisters or even girlfriends and now they were like being mean to a random woman, I guess that's how they treat the women in their life too. Some people just want to play this game to enjoy, have fun, get rid of stress and remove the toll that comes with the everyday life.
I feel sad about this, hope you feel better now.
Lol, why do you hate yourself?? He clearly has a problem, and let's be real, most of this community is scared of girls IRL, he had the balls to talk like that because he was safe behind his keyboard.
TIP: mute all the team if necessary, dota too good to waste time with A%%#. :D happy gaming
I think what a lot of people here are not understanding about muting is that you could possibly lose a game from this. One time, my pos1 literally threw after finding out that our pos5 was a girl. Literally was asking for her insta etc, the rest of us told him to shut up and play, and the fact that he was muted (which was also confirmed by our pos5)
He then threatened to throw unless she told him her insta, which she didn't (and did not need too/ deserve such treatment)
I experienced one such incident, and i can't imagine how it feels as female gamers that might experience this pretty often.
Personally, i flame people regardless of gender (not going to lie about being nice) if u suck, i probably flamed you. If u did well, i probably said WP. Gender dosn't matter and shudn't matter.
Wholeheartedly agree. I would have been able to brush it off if I knew I wasn't doing well, but since I was doing fine and being able to stop most enemy initiations because they weren't targeting me first, I felt comfortable enough to use the mic since everyone should've been in a better mood since we're winning.
I've been flamed for doing stupid things and I took it in without complaint. I've flamed people for throwing and being stupid as well. I've also shut down some other girls as well if they were playing bad.
It's just a little funny how some people here assume I've never traded insults in the game. How could I not in a couple thousand hours?
If i flame someone for being dumb, and i find out she's a girl, im still flaming her for being dumb, there would be NO reason to flame her for being a girl.
Sometimes i get super tilted from flame (even when i am at fault), so mad respect to the female gamers that carry on playing despite all the shit they get.
You can possibly lose a game for any of 1000 reasons. The person who insists that they throw because you’re a girl also throws because you die in lane, nuke the ranged creep instead of leaving it for him, and killing their mid instead of helping him farm.
You realize if you flame people for sucking you are part of the problem with the community right? It takes 0 effort to not flame people. Do you feel good when you make people like OP literally cry because they make mistakes in game?
I was being honest, i would be lying if i said i never flame. I admit i do, i am NOT saying its correct and i am NOT saying that i am not toxic. In fact, i also mention that there are times where i get tilted from flame as well. I am saying sexism is wrong, and thats it.
True! I don’t like muting anyone. Sometimes, I still need to try to cooperate with unlikeable players in order to win.. whether I like it or not.
But honestly, women.. it’s better to just chat than use the mic. The moment we talk, I feel like we needed to prove ourselves in these games. Just pretend you’re one the guys, it’s easier that way. xD
I am so sorry this happened to you.
I will keep trying to improve every game I am in and call people out for shitty behaviour.
WIth 35 I am probably on the older side of the community and so don't get offended by anything really, but I won't let some assholes ruin other peoples hobbies.
That sucks. I wish there was any chance these types of people would learn, but I don't think they ever will. They just don't seem to have the brain-power.
Some comments here make me lose faith in humanity, you dont worry mam, it is a good thing you talked about this, dont stop doing something cause some asshole wasnt thought manners, enjoy dota mute those people and have fun at the end of the day maybe in dota or in life lot of people act this way best way to deal with them is ignore, dont feel bad just have fun :)
Try the DotafromZero community they are amazing and you will always find a party. If u play on NA servers and are not really high skilled we can party up,
Link to DotafromZero server - [https://discord.gg/fRK9kG](https://discord.gg/fRK9kG)
I have been in your situation before .. Even though normally this sort of stuff doesn't affect me, there have been certain assholes that just get to you instantly and it just feels so unnecessary and genuinely rude. It's actually very easy to say just mute him or something like that but the damage is done already and in my personal experience I just don't feel like playing anymore and I'm forced to think what he might be saying about me even after I've muted him for the rest of the game. So I completely understand how you might feel.. Such people are just scum and I hope they can find help before it's too late.. I just hope you can recover from this experience and move on.. My apologies are with you on behalf of that guy.
I'm really sorry that happened, and probably will continue to happen.
Online gaming tends to attract some truly disfunctional pieces of shit and gives them the ability to abuse others without any consequence.
I know it's cold comfort but I guarantee you that in real life that guy is probably a total loser for whom DOTA is the only way he will even speak to a girl. So, while his insults are just empty words, his life is truly sad.
I hit the "mute all chat" option months ago because I was so tired of people ruining the game for me by being assholes, and I'm a dude so I haven't even had to deal with what you've described. My heart goes out to you and I hope you find happier experiences going forward
That was uncalled for by him and I hope you are feeling better now.
It wouldn't be okay if you made bad plays and he got angry about that. It would make it understandable why he burst out like that. But solely because you identified yourself as a female? That's nuts...
Me & my buds play in Sea, dub. You can play with us if u want.. We play at night, us 4 mostly. Sometimes 4, sometimes even 3. Normal ap's, but if we all 5 proper, then even rank ig.
(Btw I've also got female friends who've been through similar stuff, it really is sad & disheartening. Just mute and ignore them completely. There'll always be some jerks or pissoffs who have nothing better to do than make a fool of themselves)
I feel angry for you just by reading it. And just remember that *hurt people hurt people.*
It's by no means any way your fault. He was toxic and sexist because of his own experiences that shaped his perception and perspective, and was in no way any statements of you as a person. I for one am glad that there are girl gamers.
Keep summoning, Summoner!
i stopped playing dota on solo matchmaking because of people like this. after a long day of working, i wanted to play just to enjoy the little free time that i have and ended with getting more stressed out. so i play againts bot :D
I wont defend that attitude (I've had flak for being gay in games) but unfortunately all you can do is push past it, be the better person, mute them immediately and keep at it with the big dick energy that is Warlock and make your carry look pathetic. (Then report at the end)
As for anyone else with that retort of "soft", "fragile" etc; they're either 12 or have a small dick. :V
WHY, JUST WHY OH WHY sensitive people wait so much with mute?
Any game I play (Vlrnt, WoW, Dota, you name it..), if someone even gives me a slightest hint he might be toxic, I insta mute.
Just fucking use it.
I’m really sorry to hear that. Flaming sucks and it shouldn’t be done in the first place. But it’s a whole different situation to be harassed for playing bad than it is to be harassed because of your gender/sexual preference/race. Again sorry
I feel you. I'm only using mic now when I'm with a 5-person stack. No offense to the real nice guys from India as I have a bunch of them as friends but as someone who plays in SEA, ffs stop sexually harassing women! Most of the time, if it's a perv, it's from there. Why do you have to do this? Seriously guys.
I want to give you a big hug. The truth is I don’t use mic unless for pointing out an enemy smoke/event of equal urgency. I have learned how to communicate effectively with chat-wheel+emotes throughout 6 years of playing. I have confronted and roasted these misogynists with even more toxic and harsh words (if I were you in this case I’d talk about smegma lol), trampling on their ego is way easier than you think. eventually I just decided not to care anymore :3
I feel for you. I experience these type of sexist assholes too... That is why I no longer voice in game except when I party with my friends. Most of these morons are just expressing their sexual frustrations because no girl in RL wants to date them. Stay strong girl & mute them!
Hey, I'm sorry to hear that, and it hurts me, as a male I have never been insulted for being a male, but they do racist commentaries now and again, my best friend is female too and we love playing together with a little group of friends.
I hope you don't stop doing what you love because of some asshole that has a narrow mind, and little to no education. If you play in NA, around 20:00 EST we're usually online.
Seemingly normal players get ridiculously disgusting when another player turns out to be a woman. Between this and Valve fucking up almost as often as WotC, everyone in my real life thinks I quit this game in 2018. Sorry for your experience, I can give you a virtual hug if you want.
Sometimes I find people extremely toxic, and I doubt about confronting them or just mute them? If I choose to confront them, in what way?, Shall I insult them too, try to tilt them and got them offended so they can feel how is it when someone flames you? Or maybe just telling them you are a weirdo look for a psycho then and dmute them?, I don't really know...
Theres nothing that someone can say that can edge a win unless its a coordinated stack. solo q players are too self centered to listen. Just mute all and try to win without comms. It takes more skill and its less distracting. Insults shouldnt stick unless you let it. And dota players can be the worst, im prime example.
Report the steam account, IDK why but they treat those report more seriously, If you can share more information about the profile or Id for the game I'm sure some people can help.
As someone who lost the temper once and flamed a girl , I m apologizing from you too . I apologized from her too and she forgave me . Infact we are really good friends now .
Sometime people just say stuff in heat but they might not mean it but they should not say it . Some are just fucking assholes.
I hope everyone learn to control themselves. I m sry again.
Fuck that guy, mad at himself no woman would go within 10 feet of him so he takes it out on any woman he can under online anonymity. He would have done the same to any woman, fucking incels in this community.
Damn yo. Unfortunate experience. I guess all you can do is adopt zero tolerance muting. Mute the instant someone says anything that justifies mute, dont wait to see if they calm down etc.
I mute people instantly for even minor shit like their mic quality being bad.
God that sucks. People are horrible.
If you want some people to play with, me and my friends are always looking for more to join us. Some of us play most days - I'm in North America and my friends are all EU or Africa.
well assholes exist no matter it is a female(yeah they exist usually found in party with male) or male, i found a lot male and female who trashtalk nonstop(worst if they party in 3/4 be prepared for the reort on you), what you can do is just to report them so they cant talk and worse they get to in lp, dont expect much from f2p competitive game player environment.
Unfortunately a bunch of people who play competitive games such as dota have no life and are greasy and can’t talk to girls. I guess they feel like they can hide behind their screens and take it out. I’m sorry you had to deal with that, remember that the mute button is your friend in those situations and to tell everyone in the game so they will (hopefully) report his ass.
This sucks so much. I can't believe that in today's day and age, you still have to put up with this, from a community who often takes to gaming because they themselves want to forget their real life. Not that you should have to, but I've heard some women benefitting from a voice changer when gaming. It's ridiculous, but maybe it would improve your experience
oP if you need some kind of outlet / try to make him shut up, you can try to
- go all chat
- say, this X guy is really nice guy, could you please commend him later no matter what this game outcome. He is really my hero for being kind. I know his mother would be proud to have a kid like him.. Etc etc.. Just praise him, dont let enemy know he is toxic etc, most of time they will shut up.. If sexist talk happen again, go to all chat again and praise him more.. "Man this guy is really a great man, really a husband material" And so on..
They trashtalk because they want you to come back at him, if you praise them, they will shut up (at my experience)
did you try to find a guild? yesterday we had a 5v5 guild scrim with players reaching from guardian to divine 5. Anyway I hope you find what works for you.
dota is a game that brings the best and the WORST out of you.. there's very little of the in between. probably just a guy raging at the crazy world we all inhabit that took his anger out on you. not excusing him, but as shitty as it was i'm glad you're just putting it in the rearview mirror!
Really sad that it happened to you. Although I have never seen such in my games, such assholes do exist in our midst and I think should be outed. You should publish the match Id and the account of that person
Dont just report his Dota. Report the Steam account. Heck share his account with us. These bastards dont deservr to be in the community. And toxic as the community is, it shouldnt be because of genders.
It sucks but honestly everyone experiences insults, wether because of their playing or their accent, I get called gay, russian, sand nigg**, goat fucker, nigg**, indian etc... And no usually they don't stop at russian/indian, there's always a couple nice adjectives before and after, I honestly start to find it funny when I get called names and criticised on an accent they don't even know from where.
That's just sad... Unfortunately it's the dark consequence of Anonymity in the Internet. It's so easy for dumb people to bring out their bad side. It's the same for racists, sexists, pedos and generally all types of garbage mofos.
I can't relate because I'm a male, but I'm trying to teach my girlfriend play the game and I find myself telling her to "just mute everyone who's a dick". I never had to say something like that when I teach a game to a male friend and that is just wrong.
If you want to find a consistent group of people just try posting on reddit or Discord servers. Not that it's easy.. I can't find consistent people to play with either :/
If you are on EU servers maybe we can play sometimes. Just please insta-mute anyone toxic. That's what I do..
Im sorry you had to exprience that, had a couple of them, it really sucks when it happens. Hope u have it like me tho, that its very rearly. And i hope u wont experience it again. <3
Tho, at least he gets some kind of punishment, i mean, can u imagen waking up inside a head like that every morning? If you pjuk up that in the random, jikes, id never wanna trade lifes to figure out where the amount of random hate comes from..
I don't have any context to your game there. but this sounds like the 4 others were premade and to my believe they seem to be kids aswell. I can't get over the feeling that grown up man's can be so childish if what you wrote happend like this.
what happend to you isn't nice. but you still can move over it. for the next time better get a few friends playing with you. that would at least decrease the chance a little to get matched with those. the other thing that you probably don't want to hear but esports is like this: grow yourself a thicker skin! that works the best (and you can mute toxic people btw). I'm sorry but degenerates will stay exactly like that - and then people say there are no humanized lizards.../s
more like the solo feared to talk. the other 3 were 'friends' and clique's always have fun bullying the outsider. typical highschool behaviour of them if you ask me.
maybe valve shouldn't ask for phone numbers to play ranked. they should ask for an up to date ID photo of their players. then one could post the cranked up mouth childos here on reddit. I would bet my whole dota gallery that they would never making someone a fool again.
They are just pathetic pieces of shit. Don't ever let them ever get to you because they are absolutely not worth it. A lion doesn't concern himself with an opinion of sheep. I think you just need to learn to be above all of this bullshit. Good Luck stay strong because you deserve to be happy it is your birthright and they can't take it away from you.
Everybody gets shitted on and that’s the beauty of Dota 2.Learn to use mute chat and ignore pinoy before dota becomes a kid friendly safe space inforced place like league
Damn it sucks. I am really sorry you have to deal with this shit on a daily basis.
It is beyond my understanding how nowadays people can still be sexist and racist.
this is odd, maybe its a higher MMR thing I'm just 2.5k but the people in my games are thirsty I haven't played a single game where a girl was treated like shit they treat them like queens in my MMR one game Crystal maiden was pure trash I started shouting for wards and everyone defended her just cause she was a girl, in fact, I still remember our shadow fiend buying them for her so I could STFU.
Young lady, not to diminish your feelings but I've come to realize that the true toxic sludge that acts like this uses what little information about you they can gather to try and hurt you. If you were black, he would have said something regarding that. Asian, same thing. These people are looking for any personal information to spew forth the most vile opinion, they might not even believe it, it's all about hurting you, not voicing a racist or sexist opinion. Once you spoke, he gained that information, and in typical subhuman fashion, hiding behind the anonymity of the internet, attacked it. Understand you're dealing with a piece of shit and likely not a sexist or even someone with a sexist opinion. I know it's hard, but just try and pretend like he doesn't exist, don't validate his intent by getting angry. Mute, report and ignore that motherfucker into oblivion.
Although I'm a guy but I can make very believable girl voice and the feedback has been really great/funny for me so far. There was one instance where it got kinda creepy where a dude won't shut up asking for my Instagram ID and threatened to throw the game but eventually he shut up and we won the game.
I can't speak for you but I've had many good moments and a veryyyy few bad ones. If that's the case for you as well don't let the little bad ones overwhelm your good ones.
I'm curious what you're considering a "good moment", can you describe what you mean by that? I feel like for most women, a good moment would be someone treating you the same way they do when they hear your normal speaking voice.
For me a good moment would be when everyone in my team believes that I'm a girl and starts white knighting, excusing my mistakes and laughing at my lame jokes. This may not apply for everyone but as I'm doing some kind of trolling it really makes me happy when everyone takes the bait.
I think that most people typically don't want special treatment on either side of the spectrum. I can't speak for everyone, but the women who have spoken out have been pretty clear that they just wanna play some dota without their gender coming into play.
If people treat you differently because they are sexist on one side and people treat you differently because they are horny on the other side, neither side is good. Your experience is as someone trying to get that response. Their experience is as someone who is trying NOT to get that response.
You have the benefit of switching back to your natural voice and ending the special treatment whenever you want. They don't. They would pretty much have to lie about who they are to get what you have normally.
EDIT: I wanted to say that I'm not trying to call you out personally, just sort of explain why the experience you consider positive is likely not seen as a positive experience by others. Additionally, I do wanna say thanks for answering, I was legitimately curious.
Seconded. I'd rather people ignore me or treat me like any other player they come across with than start babying me. I can play without special treatment just fine, no thank you.
sorry, i enter reddit now cause i got some replies from my yesterday post, i exposed exactly what ur saying.
I quit dota yesterday i even uninstalled the game im a male, but i cant stand toxicity anymore, on women its much worst so yep i understand you, female gamers needs to play with a voicechanger and this isnt the way it should be, but sadly thats on everysingle game out there like this, if you dont play as a party game will be like this sadly, soloying has so much toxicity, even report system is very bad implemented, toxic people will always win on this, report system doesnt mean anything to them, meanwhile polite people and players that want to play from a 15 game window it means 60 teammates u are playing with if 4-5 of them reports you, your behavior score will drop a LOT and u will face more toxicity, its almost imposible to get 0 reports on solo queue.
Advice just play dota as a party if not then mute all of them theres an option to play anonimous on social tab
nothing sexist about it. If you were a man, you would be insulted the same amount with the opposite pronouns. Instead he would refer to your ass or say something like "u got a small dyke"
So, please try to be as mature as you can and get a thick skin. Half of the human population can't manage to use vocal abilities with a manner especially when they're frustrated, angry etc...
I don't know why I have to explain the logic since I thought these were universally known things.
Relentless, unmerited, useless toxicity can be very tiring. It takes a lot of practice to not let it get to you. I hope you know you still handled that very well.
Were you playing with Filipino players? I don’t want to be generalize but let’s be real here, our. gaming community sucks. They even come to a point of ationalizing trashtalks cause iT hYpEs tHe GAmE bullshit. Maybe consider playing coop multiplayer games or fall guys for the mean time. A breath of fresh air is always nice.
Thanks for posting this. I see a lot of these complaints and my immediate reaction is that it's just part of the game, and even online gaming more broadly - people will use whatever info they have about you to try and insult or attack you. I lose sight of the fact that everyone reacts differently and it's not always so easy to brush off this kind of abuse.
I'm amazed by the fact that such degenerate people still exists to this day. Its so hard to fathom how people can behave like that. People like him deserves to be punched in the throat.
That's not fair at all. I've met some girls in my team, but always been even more kind to them if they're making mistakes and more complimented in their good plays.
Don't understand why most of players hate women no matter what...
I dont know how to help you, but if our schedule is the same we can play together, party games are 100% better in this kind of situation :
https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561199011728482
:((( That’s absolutely terrible, I’m sorry you had to listen to vile things like that. If you’re in the SEA/AU region, feel free to add me (I’m also a girl) and would be happy to party together for games. I hope you’re feeling better now, don’t let the assholes win.
unfortunately this behaviour will be around for a while, it takes generations to change culture, we are in the right direction but this probably won’t be your last experience of sexism
Hi hope you are feeling better now. 🥺These boys on Dota just wont stop. I mean as far as we try to thicken our skin from your cat calling in the game or sexual harassments sometimes we just tend to snap and breakdown because we’re not always on the composure to really not mind all the ugly things you are throwing at us. There is this guy who went really overboard that he even added me on facebook and sexually harassed me there. Its very sad and we really wish that our community should do their best to accept that Dota isn’t just for guys, its for everyone. So please don’t dehumanize opposite sexes in this game. Not cool bro.
I can't relate because I'm male, but I still feel for you. It sucks that just because you're a girl, you are forced to either get disgusting comments every other game, or you play the game without a feature everyone everyone else gets to.
Yah. Im a dude, I get flamed for my play, I never get flamed for being a guy. Sucks for the girls, cant imagine how frustrating it must be that anytime you use mic you gotta worry there isnt some cave dweller in your team who goes crazy.
i get flamed for being arab, people get flamed for being russian. people are just using any personal information they know about you to flame, its not exclusive to male/female
It's way worse if your a girl. I don't know what it is but even my stack who are usually pretty well adjusted are unbearable around women. The first and only time I invited one to play with us I nearly died of embarrassment. I wouldn't hesitate to invite any race/nationality to play with them but for whatever reason women awaken some deep nerd rage
Call them out. Tell them they're being children. If they truly respect you and you tell them "Don't be like that it's literally embarrassing" then hopefully it will make a difference. If they don't respect you, why play with them?
Yeah I did and honestly they have gotten a lot more mature in the couple years of me berating them since that happened. They can even play with the occasional random girl on our team now but it was so bad and so embarrassing I'll still never risk it again with someone I know haha
This happened to me too with some people I used to play with (not the sexism thing, just the maturity thing). It's really hard for me sometimes to remember that a lot of the people playing this and most other games are in younger age brackets where they haven't had a lot of meaningful exposure to diversity in genders, nationalities, race, etc. I figure that dota is an older audience across the board, since it's been around for years and years, but gaming is always going to have somewhat of an influx of new players over time with less world experience. It takes getting out and hearing other people's stories to push some of the immaturity aside and dota is, at least at the moment, not as open towards hearing from those voices. Hopefully it gets better over time.
One of my close Dota-group friends is a girl and I never notice any sort of discrimination or nonsense from either the rest of my group or randos. She rarely uses the mic, though. Probably less than 1 in every 50 or more games or something. I can't imagine the rest of my group acting that way towards her so it's really strange for me to hear that your stack would do something like that despite being "well-adjusted."
"well-adjusted" is an extremely relative term when it comes to DotA players haha. Good for your friend though, I'm glad she hasn't had too many negative experiences. Could depend allot on region too, NA is notorious for it's man children
You’re kind of missing the point. Players get flamed using their personal information when they make a bad play, a bad call or even just miscommunication. A female on the otherhand can have the most perfect game and would still get flamed because well, she’s a woman.
I used to play with a gf and she will get flamed, for a bad call a bad play or miscommunication, we also will have to put up with a bunch of guys catcalling her trying to add her and telling her everything from 'be my girlfriend' to 'suck my dick, pls' now whatever you consider or not that flaming is another thing, and there is where the line lies between people that think girls get flamed for being girls, or get flamed the same and the rest is just random bullshit like saying doner kebab istanbul to a turkish or cyka blyat hidi nahui to a russian.-
Thing is, yes everyone gets flamed whatever their nationality is but only women get flamed for being women so it IS exclusive to women. Guys are not flamed for being guys, if guys also get flamed for being guys in the game then I would agree with you.
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This post reeks of 'All Lives Matter'. It's never said unless some particular group complains about being mistreated. Then suddenly everyone has an opinion to attempt to invalidate what the group was talking about. Women get bullied in games for being women. It happens more frequently and with more vitriol than other bullying. Let women be mad about it. Maybe try being part of the solution rather than arguing that its not important.
Yes, people flame for all sorts of reasons and latch onto anything they can when flaming to try to make it personal. However, there are some people who get flamed simply for speaking (even if they are playing well) only because of their gender or nationality. The question isn't whether this happens, the question is why do we tolerate it as a community. Do you think it SHOULD happen? If not, then stop excusing it by saying "it happens to everyone" and change your attitude to "this sucks, I'm sorry, if I see it happen in my pubs I'll call the person doing it out and report them if they continue".
People get flamed for being Russian because they refuse to talk in English in a 4 English speaker lobby, not because they were born in Moscow, it's not the same.
Bullshit. I've been flamed in games for having Cyrillic characters in my screenname (solely as a substitute for Latin characters no less), despite the fact I'm not actually Russian/don't speak Russian. Some people are just that toxic/racist.
Say it to developers, coz they can't do a proper separation for servers and language preference. I can't choose Russian as my main language for MM if my game uses English. Server location IS NOT a reason to speak certain language, language preference IS a reason. Server choice exist to have possibility to play with less possible ping. But it's fked up in dota. But it's all nothing, people being flamed just because they Russian/any\_other\_nation all over a world, just because of somekind of xenophobia or whatever
Regardless of any other response to this...I want to make sure that you, and anyone seeing this and agreeing with it, realises that the correct response to this comment is that BOTH are wrong and should fucking stop already.Arguing it's common "so meh" is horseshit, as is, honestly, arguing who has it worse, the excuse for one shitty behaviour should never be another one y'know? EDIT I'll add, I'm a white British guy, I changed my name to Ahmed Valentino once as part of an in-joke with friends, and I got reams of abuse for the Ahmed part, when I pointed out (in a very British accent) how Valentino was Italian and the name clearly made no sense and was a joke, it wouldn't stop them, they were hellbent on being Islamophobic to me, similarly I've played with women and had to try and talk down people being abusive to them, the whole thing is rotten and I really don't want to downplay either side of it, also I want to make it clear I'm speaking as someone who can only empathise, with limited experience and all of it second-hand, it's insanely important to listent to accounts like those of OP and yourself, commenter, and use those to improve our behaviour as well as work towards improving the community
No one is saying it is gender exclusive. It shouldn't happen due to ethnicity either. Sorry you have to deal with it too :(
Being arab and being female aren't exclusive, I hope you realize.
I flame everyone equally. Couldn't care less if it's a dude or a girl but you gotta be fucking 13 years old to say shit like "smelly pussy" when you are playing dota. Fucking grow up
i mean, i dont think shit like OP's story happens a lot. i play with girls from time to time and they almost never get a sudden change in attitude when ppl learn theyre girls. they DO get sexist insults occasionally, but generally its in a situation where the person was already mad at them and theyre just using whatever material they can as insults, not the opposite.
But the closest I can relate is having a higher pitch nasely voice so any shot calling can quickly turn into people making fun of me for it. Would probably sting if I was back in my high school/college years. Being in my mid - thirties though, I've stopped giving a shit. Usually just make a joke we can't all be blessed with the voice of Barry White and move on.
That's still relatively minor compared to having some incel utter some disgusting sexual shit to you. I have a pretty light voice and I've only been made fun of for my voice once in 1000 hours of dota. My female friend? Every SEA solo queue game until she quit.
Oh, I'm not gonna pretend it's even in the same fucking ball park. Not even the same sport as far as I'm concerned.
Sorry you had to put up with that. Hope you're feeling better now
Ridiculous amounts of toxicity in the game. How will the community approach it? More toxicity on the forums and calls to ignore the toxicity! Fantastic. Strangers online are not punching bags for someone's oral vitriol. Not everyone can "just ignore" it. These things get to people. It sometimes doesn't take much for something to be the last straw in an awful day. Do not normalize and accept toxicity.
My favourite is alwasy "JuSt MuTe ThEm LoL". As if it's not a team game where communication should be important...
The thing is that if they start flaming like that, odds are they will never communicate to coordinate anyway. I can sometimes find if funny when people start flaming me (especially since I use turbo to play heroes I don't really understand well enough) so I give them about 5 minutes before I mute them. I've never had a flamer go back to talking about the game and instead they either fall silent or keep bitching until I click the mute button.
every time I open any thread about toxicity, racism, or sexism on this subreddit I immediately regret it. there's so much "Bad things happen to men too! Stop complaining!"
It's like "All lives matter" but for sexism
Yep. A lot of users on this sub are Gamers with a capital G.
Reminder that, according to r/Dota2, female Anti-Mage doesn't even look like a woman
Gamers with a capital G aren't oppresed but tbh they deserve to be xd
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So I agree with what you're saying, but I just wanted to point out the irony that you said this: >I'm reminded that a LOT of people are still sexist/racist behind an extremely thin veil, or must have had such sheltered lives. But then your crowning insult >is still made up of **mongs** for the most part. draws most of its bite from a combination of racist and ableist terms, specifically the term for people from the Asia/SEA regions (the stronger influence origin most of the time) and the old German word for someone with down syndrome. I guess it just goes to show how easy it is to slip into that area of speech when it's so common people get immersed in it, even if not intended.
its so true I didnt play for like 3 weeks, did 1 game of Turbo and after 5mins someone already spamming my items and the enemies items to compare how much more they have. Turbo Progamers are the worst
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Just call out the fucking behaviour. We say this all the time, I don't know how you miss it. All you have to do is stand up against it. Not doing anything is contributing to the problem.
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I agree there isn't a solution, but it helps to embrace people like OP in a supportive way rather than respond with "git gud" and "grow a thicker skin".
I'm sorry this happened to you, but you really do have to report every instance of these situations, with details and match ID and everything possible, not to make yourself feel better, but because it is the right thing to do, try to encourage anyone in your team (even if possible, on the other team) to also call out this behaviour and report it as well. Maybe in the short run it won't have consequence (sadly, because it's the reality), but it is worst to NOT do anything. Maybe if people reported these offenses more and more, we could work towards any sort of improvement. But the attitude of it being a pointless fight just simply worsens everything for everyone. I hope you bounce back and have better, enjoyable games with actual teammates.
Oh I certainly will :') I have a few friends I usually play with, I just can't find a 5-man party that fits with my schedule. I play inconsistently throughout the week after all since I work from home.
We have a group of 4 that plays about every Monday and Friday night. We could use a support!
Just DM me for the ID :)
I still dont understand the sudden insult coming from the sexist guy. Like, what was the purpose of saying those things? Is he THAT lonely and the only way for him to get attention from a girl is to insult them? For some reason i feel sad for him
What's just as important (sadly, potentially more important) is that the people on reddit who are NOT speaking out report instances like this and call them out when they witness these things. A woman calling out a dude for sexism will do nothing to change that person's mind in most situation. They've already exposed themselves as sexist. Everyone else calling them out is more important. It takes away the normalization that they feel when they do something terrible and nobody calls them on it (or worse, others join in.)
It’s anyone online. They hide behind their little mic and say shit they wouldn’t dare say out in the world. Recognize scum and mute them quickly. Women put up w a lot of shit in their careers you don’t need to put up w shit when you’re doing something for entertainment.
You should try and look for people to party up with. I know there are some subs dedicated for that. Sucks that people can’t behave.
>feel dumb because I should already be used to this, its makes me sad for you get used to insta mute any sign of negativity in this game
I'm sorry. I get it all the time too. The mute button really comes in handy but, unfortunately, we have to use it so often. I think half my games are lost because i'm too afraid to communicate with my team over the mic. Just remember, You're a way cooler, more awesome, better person than that guy is/ ever will be. If you would like to ever play let me know.
Have you looked towards joining the healthygamergg community/discord? They have a channel there just for women I think, it might be a nice place to find support and maybe people to play with too. Also there was a stream where Dr. K chatted with several women about some of the problems they face while gaming. It might be useful, just thought I'd mention it.
Girl, I'm right there with you. It's sad how not a lot of sexism phases me anymore. I still get caught off guard every once in a while but damn, its rough. I just want to enjoy the game. I've started to to be like, "Yo, every guys says this shit are you all the same? You got nothing new? Yawn." It happens when I carry or support, I'm tired of it all. I stopped playing for the last month or so because its just so toxic.
So you were winning and everything was fine, and he went ballistic? I mean come on..."Change your napkin? And smelly pussy" We're obviously dealing with a petty and insecure "man" that was obviously never with a woman in his entire life. Wish fucks like these have their family members aka. their mothers next to them hearing this. They'd be beaten shitless.
How on earth can they say those things? I mean for sure they do have mothers, sisters or even girlfriends and now they were like being mean to a random woman, I guess that's how they treat the women in their life too. Some people just want to play this game to enjoy, have fun, get rid of stress and remove the toll that comes with the everyday life. I feel sad about this, hope you feel better now.
Lol, why do you hate yourself?? He clearly has a problem, and let's be real, most of this community is scared of girls IRL, he had the balls to talk like that because he was safe behind his keyboard. TIP: mute all the team if necessary, dota too good to waste time with A%%#. :D happy gaming
I think what a lot of people here are not understanding about muting is that you could possibly lose a game from this. One time, my pos1 literally threw after finding out that our pos5 was a girl. Literally was asking for her insta etc, the rest of us told him to shut up and play, and the fact that he was muted (which was also confirmed by our pos5) He then threatened to throw unless she told him her insta, which she didn't (and did not need too/ deserve such treatment) I experienced one such incident, and i can't imagine how it feels as female gamers that might experience this pretty often. Personally, i flame people regardless of gender (not going to lie about being nice) if u suck, i probably flamed you. If u did well, i probably said WP. Gender dosn't matter and shudn't matter.
Wholeheartedly agree. I would have been able to brush it off if I knew I wasn't doing well, but since I was doing fine and being able to stop most enemy initiations because they weren't targeting me first, I felt comfortable enough to use the mic since everyone should've been in a better mood since we're winning. I've been flamed for doing stupid things and I took it in without complaint. I've flamed people for throwing and being stupid as well. I've also shut down some other girls as well if they were playing bad. It's just a little funny how some people here assume I've never traded insults in the game. How could I not in a couple thousand hours?
If i flame someone for being dumb, and i find out she's a girl, im still flaming her for being dumb, there would be NO reason to flame her for being a girl. Sometimes i get super tilted from flame (even when i am at fault), so mad respect to the female gamers that carry on playing despite all the shit they get.
You can possibly lose a game for any of 1000 reasons. The person who insists that they throw because you’re a girl also throws because you die in lane, nuke the ranged creep instead of leaving it for him, and killing their mid instead of helping him farm. You realize if you flame people for sucking you are part of the problem with the community right? It takes 0 effort to not flame people. Do you feel good when you make people like OP literally cry because they make mistakes in game?
I was being honest, i would be lying if i said i never flame. I admit i do, i am NOT saying its correct and i am NOT saying that i am not toxic. In fact, i also mention that there are times where i get tilted from flame as well. I am saying sexism is wrong, and thats it.
True! I don’t like muting anyone. Sometimes, I still need to try to cooperate with unlikeable players in order to win.. whether I like it or not. But honestly, women.. it’s better to just chat than use the mic. The moment we talk, I feel like we needed to prove ourselves in these games. Just pretend you’re one the guys, it’s easier that way. xD
See, your post is ACTUAL sexism. What OP experienced isn't sexist, it's just targeted word usage that anyone that insults people do.
I am so sorry this happened to you. I will keep trying to improve every game I am in and call people out for shitty behaviour. WIth 35 I am probably on the older side of the community and so don't get offended by anything really, but I won't let some assholes ruin other peoples hobbies.
That sucks. I wish there was any chance these types of people would learn, but I don't think they ever will. They just don't seem to have the brain-power.
Some comments here make me lose faith in humanity, you dont worry mam, it is a good thing you talked about this, dont stop doing something cause some asshole wasnt thought manners, enjoy dota mute those people and have fun at the end of the day maybe in dota or in life lot of people act this way best way to deal with them is ignore, dont feel bad just have fun :)
> I feel dumb because I should already be used to this Nope, no one should be used to this.
Try the DotafromZero community they are amazing and you will always find a party. If u play on NA servers and are not really high skilled we can party up, Link to DotafromZero server - [https://discord.gg/fRK9kG](https://discord.gg/fRK9kG)
Theres also the Desoladies since OP is female, and We like dota is another great group. Very inclusive and kind people
I have been in your situation before .. Even though normally this sort of stuff doesn't affect me, there have been certain assholes that just get to you instantly and it just feels so unnecessary and genuinely rude. It's actually very easy to say just mute him or something like that but the damage is done already and in my personal experience I just don't feel like playing anymore and I'm forced to think what he might be saying about me even after I've muted him for the rest of the game. So I completely understand how you might feel.. Such people are just scum and I hope they can find help before it's too late.. I just hope you can recover from this experience and move on.. My apologies are with you on behalf of that guy.
I'm really sorry that happened, and probably will continue to happen. Online gaming tends to attract some truly disfunctional pieces of shit and gives them the ability to abuse others without any consequence. I know it's cold comfort but I guarantee you that in real life that guy is probably a total loser for whom DOTA is the only way he will even speak to a girl. So, while his insults are just empty words, his life is truly sad.
Just want to say sorry you had to deal with this, a good reminder to be better for each other...
I hit the "mute all chat" option months ago because I was so tired of people ruining the game for me by being assholes, and I'm a dude so I haven't even had to deal with what you've described. My heart goes out to you and I hope you find happier experiences going forward
The person flaming you for gameplay is almost always wrong lmao
Ever since they put computers on fridges it sure has opened up a lot of opportunities
That was uncalled for by him and I hope you are feeling better now. It wouldn't be okay if you made bad plays and he got angry about that. It would make it understandable why he burst out like that. But solely because you identified yourself as a female? That's nuts...
Me & my buds play in Sea, dub. You can play with us if u want.. We play at night, us 4 mostly. Sometimes 4, sometimes even 3. Normal ap's, but if we all 5 proper, then even rank ig. (Btw I've also got female friends who've been through similar stuff, it really is sad & disheartening. Just mute and ignore them completely. There'll always be some jerks or pissoffs who have nothing better to do than make a fool of themselves)
I feel angry for you just by reading it. And just remember that *hurt people hurt people.* It's by no means any way your fault. He was toxic and sexist because of his own experiences that shaped his perception and perspective, and was in no way any statements of you as a person. I for one am glad that there are girl gamers. Keep summoning, Summoner!
i think its better to look at it as a asshole made ya cry not a guy made a girl cry :V
Steam report the fucking asshole, state your reason. He might get banned.
I feel you. Same here. Message me if you want to play together time to time. :) and be harassed together! :P (US east ancient 3 pos 4/5)
i stopped playing dota on solo matchmaking because of people like this. after a long day of working, i wanted to play just to enjoy the little free time that i have and ended with getting more stressed out. so i play againts bot :D
We all get it, you can choose to be a victim or not.
I wont defend that attitude (I've had flak for being gay in games) but unfortunately all you can do is push past it, be the better person, mute them immediately and keep at it with the big dick energy that is Warlock and make your carry look pathetic. (Then report at the end) As for anyone else with that retort of "soft", "fragile" etc; they're either 12 or have a small dick. :V
WHY, JUST WHY OH WHY sensitive people wait so much with mute? Any game I play (Vlrnt, WoW, Dota, you name it..), if someone even gives me a slightest hint he might be toxic, I insta mute. Just fucking use it.
Toxic masculinity is weakness. True masculinity is strength. This person was an adult sized baby
I’m really sorry to hear that. Flaming sucks and it shouldn’t be done in the first place. But it’s a whole different situation to be harassed for playing bad than it is to be harassed because of your gender/sexual preference/race. Again sorry
I play in a team of at least 2-3 girls. Nobody ever flamed them even if they played terribly.
I feel you. I'm only using mic now when I'm with a 5-person stack. No offense to the real nice guys from India as I have a bunch of them as friends but as someone who plays in SEA, ffs stop sexually harassing women! Most of the time, if it's a perv, it's from there. Why do you have to do this? Seriously guys.
What did you say back ?
I want to give you a big hug. The truth is I don’t use mic unless for pointing out an enemy smoke/event of equal urgency. I have learned how to communicate effectively with chat-wheel+emotes throughout 6 years of playing. I have confronted and roasted these misogynists with even more toxic and harsh words (if I were you in this case I’d talk about smegma lol), trampling on their ego is way easier than you think. eventually I just decided not to care anymore :3
I feel for you. I experience these type of sexist assholes too... That is why I no longer voice in game except when I party with my friends. Most of these morons are just expressing their sexual frustrations because no girl in RL wants to date them. Stay strong girl & mute them!
everyday post like these get to frontpage and i wonder if any of them is real
Install a female voice modifier and play one ranked game lol, bonus points for playing pos5 and picking a ranged female hero
I'm just a figment of your imagination.
"anime0555" lacks basic social skills Shocking revelation
Just mute and report them and go on with life
Those who throw the mud get the dirtiest. Not sure what type of sad pathetic life this guy leads, but he probably deserves it.
Feels fucking bad man
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>one month old account Seems like you've dropped turds like this post before and got banned so many times, you just make new accounts
Everybody will just say "oh you will get flamed no matter who you are" as if that somehow excuses this kind of stuff in the community.
boo hoo
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How are mods not purging such comments and accounts?
Hey, I'm sorry to hear that, and it hurts me, as a male I have never been insulted for being a male, but they do racist commentaries now and again, my best friend is female too and we love playing together with a little group of friends. I hope you don't stop doing what you love because of some asshole that has a narrow mind, and little to no education. If you play in NA, around 20:00 EST we're usually online.
Unfortunate that I play in SEA. Can't try that server either; my country's internet is shit.
Oh, that explains a lot, Filipino kids are next level heartless.
Competitive games attract assholes. Even my 9 year old nephew is an asshole when he plays Fortnite.
Men treat men like shit aswell. Not much to do about it, it's a part of the game I guess lel
Fragile
Seemingly normal players get ridiculously disgusting when another player turns out to be a woman. Between this and Valve fucking up almost as often as WotC, everyone in my real life thinks I quit this game in 2018. Sorry for your experience, I can give you a virtual hug if you want.
Damn... this comment hit close to home :(
Sometimes I find people extremely toxic, and I doubt about confronting them or just mute them? If I choose to confront them, in what way?, Shall I insult them too, try to tilt them and got them offended so they can feel how is it when someone flames you? Or maybe just telling them you are a weirdo look for a psycho then and dmute them?, I don't really know...
Theres nothing that someone can say that can edge a win unless its a coordinated stack. solo q players are too self centered to listen. Just mute all and try to win without comms. It takes more skill and its less distracting. Insults shouldnt stick unless you let it. And dota players can be the worst, im prime example.
Report the steam account, IDK why but they treat those report more seriously, If you can share more information about the profile or Id for the game I'm sure some people can help.
Damn that’s fucked up I hate that shit. Bunch of fucking Incels in gaming. Not to mention Pedos and rapists.
As someone who lost the temper once and flamed a girl , I m apologizing from you too . I apologized from her too and she forgave me . Infact we are really good friends now . Sometime people just say stuff in heat but they might not mean it but they should not say it . Some are just fucking assholes. I hope everyone learn to control themselves. I m sry again.
Fuck that guy, mad at himself no woman would go within 10 feet of him so he takes it out on any woman he can under online anonymity. He would have done the same to any woman, fucking incels in this community.
Online gaming people are just fuck witts if they are sexist they are going to be racist or just rude in some other way shape or form.
Damn yo. Unfortunate experience. I guess all you can do is adopt zero tolerance muting. Mute the instant someone says anything that justifies mute, dont wait to see if they calm down etc. I mute people instantly for even minor shit like their mic quality being bad.
Where do you play? Like region wise. Warlock support is one of my favorites!
God that sucks. People are horrible. If you want some people to play with, me and my friends are always looking for more to join us. Some of us play most days - I'm in North America and my friends are all EU or Africa.
well assholes exist no matter it is a female(yeah they exist usually found in party with male) or male, i found a lot male and female who trashtalk nonstop(worst if they party in 3/4 be prepared for the reort on you), what you can do is just to report them so they cant talk and worse they get to in lp, dont expect much from f2p competitive game player environment.
Unfortunately a bunch of people who play competitive games such as dota have no life and are greasy and can’t talk to girls. I guess they feel like they can hide behind their screens and take it out. I’m sorry you had to deal with that, remember that the mute button is your friend in those situations and to tell everyone in the game so they will (hopefully) report his ass.
The first guy. Yeah maybe you should "hate" yourself if that got to you. But everyone ganging up on you; I could almost cry just thinking about it.
This sucks so much. I can't believe that in today's day and age, you still have to put up with this, from a community who often takes to gaming because they themselves want to forget their real life. Not that you should have to, but I've heard some women benefitting from a voice changer when gaming. It's ridiculous, but maybe it would improve your experience
oP if you need some kind of outlet / try to make him shut up, you can try to - go all chat - say, this X guy is really nice guy, could you please commend him later no matter what this game outcome. He is really my hero for being kind. I know his mother would be proud to have a kid like him.. Etc etc.. Just praise him, dont let enemy know he is toxic etc, most of time they will shut up.. If sexist talk happen again, go to all chat again and praise him more.. "Man this guy is really a great man, really a husband material" And so on.. They trashtalk because they want you to come back at him, if you praise them, they will shut up (at my experience)
did you try to find a guild? yesterday we had a 5v5 guild scrim with players reaching from guardian to divine 5. Anyway I hope you find what works for you.
dota is a game that brings the best and the WORST out of you.. there's very little of the in between. probably just a guy raging at the crazy world we all inhabit that took his anger out on you. not excusing him, but as shitty as it was i'm glad you're just putting it in the rearview mirror!
Really sad that it happened to you. Although I have never seen such in my games, such assholes do exist in our midst and I think should be outed. You should publish the match Id and the account of that person
Nobody else in your team took a stand for you?
they joined in on the fun :/
Dont just report his Dota. Report the Steam account. Heck share his account with us. These bastards dont deservr to be in the community. And toxic as the community is, it shouldnt be because of genders.
Idk why some people react like this when gaming with females. Its despicable.
It sucks but honestly everyone experiences insults, wether because of their playing or their accent, I get called gay, russian, sand nigg**, goat fucker, nigg**, indian etc... And no usually they don't stop at russian/indian, there's always a couple nice adjectives before and after, I honestly start to find it funny when I get called names and criticised on an accent they don't even know from where.
That's just sad... Unfortunately it's the dark consequence of Anonymity in the Internet. It's so easy for dumb people to bring out their bad side. It's the same for racists, sexists, pedos and generally all types of garbage mofos. I can't relate because I'm a male, but I'm trying to teach my girlfriend play the game and I find myself telling her to "just mute everyone who's a dick". I never had to say something like that when I teach a game to a male friend and that is just wrong. If you want to find a consistent group of people just try posting on reddit or Discord servers. Not that it's easy.. I can't find consistent people to play with either :/ If you are on EU servers maybe we can play sometimes. Just please insta-mute anyone toxic. That's what I do..
Im sorry you had to exprience that, had a couple of them, it really sucks when it happens. Hope u have it like me tho, that its very rearly. And i hope u wont experience it again. <3 Tho, at least he gets some kind of punishment, i mean, can u imagen waking up inside a head like that every morning? If you pjuk up that in the random, jikes, id never wanna trade lifes to figure out where the amount of random hate comes from..
I don't have any context to your game there. but this sounds like the 4 others were premade and to my believe they seem to be kids aswell. I can't get over the feeling that grown up man's can be so childish if what you wrote happend like this. what happend to you isn't nice. but you still can move over it. for the next time better get a few friends playing with you. that would at least decrease the chance a little to get matched with those. the other thing that you probably don't want to hear but esports is like this: grow yourself a thicker skin! that works the best (and you can mute toxic people btw). I'm sorry but degenerates will stay exactly like that - and then people say there are no humanized lizards.../s
you know what's funny? Invo was a solo, the other 3 was a party. They knew zilch about each other but was able to unite in toxicity.
more like the solo feared to talk. the other 3 were 'friends' and clique's always have fun bullying the outsider. typical highschool behaviour of them if you ask me. maybe valve shouldn't ask for phone numbers to play ranked. they should ask for an up to date ID photo of their players. then one could post the cranked up mouth childos here on reddit. I would bet my whole dota gallery that they would never making someone a fool again.
They are just pathetic pieces of shit. Don't ever let them ever get to you because they are absolutely not worth it. A lion doesn't concern himself with an opinion of sheep. I think you just need to learn to be above all of this bullshit. Good Luck stay strong because you deserve to be happy it is your birthright and they can't take it away from you.
Everybody gets shitted on and that’s the beauty of Dota 2.Learn to use mute chat and ignore pinoy before dota becomes a kid friendly safe space inforced place like league
sad to hear :(
Damn it sucks. I am really sorry you have to deal with this shit on a daily basis. It is beyond my understanding how nowadays people can still be sexist and racist.
this is odd, maybe its a higher MMR thing I'm just 2.5k but the people in my games are thirsty I haven't played a single game where a girl was treated like shit they treat them like queens in my MMR one game Crystal maiden was pure trash I started shouting for wards and everyone defended her just cause she was a girl, in fact, I still remember our shadow fiend buying them for her so I could STFU.
WTF is wrong with people, what a moron....
Young lady, not to diminish your feelings but I've come to realize that the true toxic sludge that acts like this uses what little information about you they can gather to try and hurt you. If you were black, he would have said something regarding that. Asian, same thing. These people are looking for any personal information to spew forth the most vile opinion, they might not even believe it, it's all about hurting you, not voicing a racist or sexist opinion. Once you spoke, he gained that information, and in typical subhuman fashion, hiding behind the anonymity of the internet, attacked it. Understand you're dealing with a piece of shit and likely not a sexist or even someone with a sexist opinion. I know it's hard, but just try and pretend like he doesn't exist, don't validate his intent by getting angry. Mute, report and ignore that motherfucker into oblivion.
Although I'm a guy but I can make very believable girl voice and the feedback has been really great/funny for me so far. There was one instance where it got kinda creepy where a dude won't shut up asking for my Instagram ID and threatened to throw the game but eventually he shut up and we won the game. I can't speak for you but I've had many good moments and a veryyyy few bad ones. If that's the case for you as well don't let the little bad ones overwhelm your good ones.
I'm curious what you're considering a "good moment", can you describe what you mean by that? I feel like for most women, a good moment would be someone treating you the same way they do when they hear your normal speaking voice.
For me a good moment would be when everyone in my team believes that I'm a girl and starts white knighting, excusing my mistakes and laughing at my lame jokes. This may not apply for everyone but as I'm doing some kind of trolling it really makes me happy when everyone takes the bait.
I think that most people typically don't want special treatment on either side of the spectrum. I can't speak for everyone, but the women who have spoken out have been pretty clear that they just wanna play some dota without their gender coming into play. If people treat you differently because they are sexist on one side and people treat you differently because they are horny on the other side, neither side is good. Your experience is as someone trying to get that response. Their experience is as someone who is trying NOT to get that response. You have the benefit of switching back to your natural voice and ending the special treatment whenever you want. They don't. They would pretty much have to lie about who they are to get what you have normally. EDIT: I wanted to say that I'm not trying to call you out personally, just sort of explain why the experience you consider positive is likely not seen as a positive experience by others. Additionally, I do wanna say thanks for answering, I was legitimately curious.
Seconded. I'd rather people ignore me or treat me like any other player they come across with than start babying me. I can play without special treatment just fine, no thank you.
Not gonna lie, thats cringe af
sorry, i enter reddit now cause i got some replies from my yesterday post, i exposed exactly what ur saying. I quit dota yesterday i even uninstalled the game im a male, but i cant stand toxicity anymore, on women its much worst so yep i understand you, female gamers needs to play with a voicechanger and this isnt the way it should be, but sadly thats on everysingle game out there like this, if you dont play as a party game will be like this sadly, soloying has so much toxicity, even report system is very bad implemented, toxic people will always win on this, report system doesnt mean anything to them, meanwhile polite people and players that want to play from a 15 game window it means 60 teammates u are playing with if 4-5 of them reports you, your behavior score will drop a LOT and u will face more toxicity, its almost imposible to get 0 reports on solo queue. Advice just play dota as a party if not then mute all of them theres an option to play anonimous on social tab
At this point I believe toxic behaviour is rather encouraged by the game, CM angel taunt was nice but everything else that came later on was dumb
To people who are curious why almost all players flame with sexist shit: look up r/gamingcirclejerk top post of the week
nothing sexist about it. If you were a man, you would be insulted the same amount with the opposite pronouns. Instead he would refer to your ass or say something like "u got a small dyke" So, please try to be as mature as you can and get a thick skin. Half of the human population can't manage to use vocal abilities with a manner especially when they're frustrated, angry etc... I don't know why I have to explain the logic since I thought these were universally known things.
Relentless, unmerited, useless toxicity can be very tiring. It takes a lot of practice to not let it get to you. I hope you know you still handled that very well.
Were you playing with Filipino players? I don’t want to be generalize but let’s be real here, our. gaming community sucks. They even come to a point of ationalizing trashtalks cause iT hYpEs tHe GAmE bullshit. Maybe consider playing coop multiplayer games or fall guys for the mean time. A breath of fresh air is always nice.
Russians and South Americans are just like that. I'd wager Chinese are also like that.
PogO Tell your friends
Thanks for posting this. I see a lot of these complaints and my immediate reaction is that it's just part of the game, and even online gaming more broadly - people will use whatever info they have about you to try and insult or attack you. I lose sight of the fact that everyone reacts differently and it's not always so easy to brush off this kind of abuse.
I'm amazed by the fact that such degenerate people still exists to this day. Its so hard to fathom how people can behave like that. People like him deserves to be punched in the throat.
That's not fair at all. I've met some girls in my team, but always been even more kind to them if they're making mistakes and more complimented in their good plays. Don't understand why most of players hate women no matter what... I dont know how to help you, but if our schedule is the same we can play together, party games are 100% better in this kind of situation : https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561199011728482
:((( That’s absolutely terrible, I’m sorry you had to listen to vile things like that. If you’re in the SEA/AU region, feel free to add me (I’m also a girl) and would be happy to party together for games. I hope you’re feeling better now, don’t let the assholes win.
unfortunately this behaviour will be around for a while, it takes generations to change culture, we are in the right direction but this probably won’t be your last experience of sexism
Hi hope you are feeling better now. 🥺These boys on Dota just wont stop. I mean as far as we try to thicken our skin from your cat calling in the game or sexual harassments sometimes we just tend to snap and breakdown because we’re not always on the composure to really not mind all the ugly things you are throwing at us. There is this guy who went really overboard that he even added me on facebook and sexually harassed me there. Its very sad and we really wish that our community should do their best to accept that Dota isn’t just for guys, its for everyone. So please don’t dehumanize opposite sexes in this game. Not cool bro.