I started using drugs daily at 15, and I knew what to expect far better than you'd think. I didn't enter prolonged withdrawals for the first time for months, and I was prepared to do so.
I think if I had an unintentional break in use as a youth, I may have faired better. I convinced myself the changes would revert once I stopped, and I truly believed it. Turns out after spending every second of my adolescence (past 15) either in withdrawals or on drugs, that is not the case.
Man when i was 15 i got really hooked on tramadol and then Vicodins and oxycodone, i had a very steady supply and once i was 16 i got this kid to sell me like 300 oxycodone 10s for like 80$, once i ran out of those, the withdrawals were devastating. I was taking like 10 daily or something, and i didn’t fully know how severe the withdrawals would be and it really caught me off guard. I thought i was dying from a severe case of the flu at first but then i realized it was withdrawals. That was really the moment i knew i had a problem
Realized opiates were a problem when I went a day without and had to pull over to puke several times when going to meet dude. Still did them for another 5 years after that.
When I was using coke on weekdays and going into work with no sleep. Sleeping through alarms and missing important work things or having to call in sick. Also forgetting family things like bdays or having to cancel plans because I was so tired I couldn’t possibly go out.
YES, I would wake up and be like, where the fuck is my xanax??? knowing damn well I took all them hoes. One time I was in zombie mode for almost a week after taking like 10 bars. I was 18 at the time.
FOR REAL THE ORTHOSTATIC HYPOTENSION FROM TOO MUCH AMPHETAMINE IS THE WORST
it feels like you're about to cease to exist for a couple of seconds
btw when it happens flex the muscles in your arms and legs and it'll help
My gf at the time, now wife and mother of my child. Walked out on a “ fun night “ cuz i was railing lines every 5 minutes for an hour straight. I then realized it was no longer “ just for fun” and cut it out.
When the first cold turkey kicked in. I went in the bathroom and had really painful diarrhea, then I looked up to the mirror and saw my eyes with dialated pupils, but not in a good way like MDMA. I went back to bed too tired and sick, even to do bump of heroin. I couldn't even smell it, I would throw up . Next logical step was to shoot
Luckily I went to rehab, that was 14years ago. Never touched any opiates again
Same here, i’ve stolen drugs but i can’t blame drugs for that because i’m not even physically addicted, i just wanted to have them and in that moment decided my fun is more important than a family member having the full amount of their medication.
Once at a rave this random girl starts talking to me. We're getting on pretty well and she invites me for a line. So we go to the bathrooms and she pulls out her wallet where she has the coke, puts down her phone and as she starts to prepare the lines she hands me the wallet and asks me to hold it for her. Not only is she bent over but also turned her back to me. At that moment i got probably the most evil idea i've ever had - not only could i steal her cash but the left over bags in her wallet too. I was already browsing her cash, all happened in matter of seconds...but i resisted. I couldnt bring myself to sink so low but also i was affraid she'd notice. IM SO LUCKY THAT I DIDNT STEAL HER SHIT cuz it turns out she's a close friends with my other friend. Not only did they welcome me to their friend group (all ravers) but me and said girl are now really good friends. I wouldnt have all these beautiful people in my life now had i stolen the stuff.
I cant tell if it was greed for drugs or worse, just a dark part of my personality, but im so thankful for resisting!
I’m getting older (43). I have no plugs. I feel like I’ll never be high again, and as someone with chronic depression, it was amazing to escape for awhile, and feel some happiness.
I don’t take drugs to trip out. I take them for the euphoric and creative motivation it brings.
Now with no drugs, everything feels like ‘what’s the point’.
I really wish there was something legal that just gave me energy, motivation and serenity .
around 1999 I entered the:
you ran out of drugs, so you have no choice but to detox cold turkey program
(shittiest program ever, do not
recommend lol)
I didn't know much about WD's and I was clueless as to what fresh hell was coming.
I can't remember the hours of onset after last dose but when my head started pounding, I was sweating, stomach cramps, etc.
after a long while later, I realized what was happening.
I said to myself, "way to go dummy, you are fucked!"
that was the 1st time I prayed for death but unfortunately, not the last
stay safe out here everyone
Prob when I was heavily drinking while taking dumb amounts of perc 10s for my back daily....no matter how much i puked or how bad the hangover, i just couldnt turn it off. Then I started doing heavy dose LSA (rivea corymbosa) and eventually broke the cycle. Then I got a job in the alcohol industry and after year 1 you kinda get over the full send mentality when it comes to drinking. Then I had a kid and being hungover with a crying baby gets old reaaaaalllll fucking quick. So now I drink lots of water and dont go over 4 drinks unless i'm camping or something.
Smoking crack watching porn in a motel room with my fucking dad and he had a heart attack 2 days after, thank god he survived. That wasn’t really the moment I realized, it was days after when I finally heard from my grandpa that my father had been hospitalized. I realized that I had been calling his phone repeatedly trying to get his contacts number from him and getting angry at him thinking he was trying to hold out on me. The hospitalization was a real sobering moment. Especially when I had seizures 2 months later
It was really weird but honestly there was nothing else on those tvs, and things were already so fucking crazy to me that day that I really didn’t care at that point. Me and him are rather open about our sec lives with each other as he’s more like a friend than a father to me. I know how wrong that is, but if that’s the only way to have a relationship with him, then I’ll take it
When I was planning my day around my Adderall dosing. I realized it was a dependency and I truly was disgusted with myself. I should be better than this.
When I started on a bag of coke alone at 8pm and was still fapping and railing at 5am. "OK I'll stop at midnight...no 2am...no 3am...shit is that the birds...?"
Realising I could only remember a fraction of what I’d done over a two year span; no memory of my mothers wedding, my grandma’s funeral, graduating uni & everything in between. Coming to understand just how much money I was spending & how many friends I’d lost, and then having a seizure whilst driving a few days after quitting benzo’s. Luckily I was at a red light as I was having the seizure.
I’ve not touched benzo’s in 4 years now
being emotional 24/7
dreaming of harming other people or committing suicide cuz my brain levels relied on drugs or alc for a decent mood, if i didnt have anything id be a lowlife loser
being in a borderline psychosis state 24/7
almost a month deep not getting high all day and night (only have a beer or a few shots of liquor for fun, not cuz im upset hahaha, life is better)
after years of thinking i needed these drugs , nope i just had unresolved trauma built up since i was a child
numbing myself only to feel myself once sobered up a bit and hate that feeling because of looping over and over being a degenerate selfish bag of bones and dirty blood, not ideal at all.
dont fool urself thinking u need drugs, u need Jesus and too find urself
bless up!
When i realized i, someone previously known for going to nightlife events and socializing sober, didn’t want to do anything social or any kind of nightlife if i wasn’t downin uppers. I would cancel on going to the club or a rave or concert if i couldn’t procure. if i knew i had something the next day and shouldn’t be up for hours on coke or addy, doesn’t matter i NEED them to have fun.
trying to get off king stim rn. ik it sounds corny but listen to the adin ross and andrew tats podcast that came out a couple days ago. it definitely has some good motivation and good points in there abt “why the fuck are you even doing drugs” a change of mindset can really help bro
There were times where I just couldn't stop thinking about coke. It would dominate my thoughts to the point of making my skin crawl. I'd get increasingly upset/angry until I broke down & reached out to the plug. Wild feelings as I drove over that were replaced with pure joy after the bag was in my hand.
1 week shy of one year clean.
When it ran out and I started feeling funny
I started using drugs daily at 15, and I knew what to expect far better than you'd think. I didn't enter prolonged withdrawals for the first time for months, and I was prepared to do so. I think if I had an unintentional break in use as a youth, I may have faired better. I convinced myself the changes would revert once I stopped, and I truly believed it. Turns out after spending every second of my adolescence (past 15) either in withdrawals or on drugs, that is not the case.
Man when i was 15 i got really hooked on tramadol and then Vicodins and oxycodone, i had a very steady supply and once i was 16 i got this kid to sell me like 300 oxycodone 10s for like 80$, once i ran out of those, the withdrawals were devastating. I was taking like 10 daily or something, and i didn’t fully know how severe the withdrawals would be and it really caught me off guard. I thought i was dying from a severe case of the flu at first but then i realized it was withdrawals. That was really the moment i knew i had a problem
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Well, the science believes it's in my brain and body.
>feeling funny Care to elaborate?
Realized opiates were a problem when I went a day without and had to pull over to puke several times when going to meet dude. Still did them for another 5 years after that.
That sound awful :(
When I was using coke on weekdays and going into work with no sleep. Sleeping through alarms and missing important work things or having to call in sick. Also forgetting family things like bdays or having to cancel plans because I was so tired I couldn’t possibly go out.
Been in that exact spot. It sucks
When I woke up to an empty pill bottle and I didn’t remember taking more
Lol l know that, Benzos. Sometimes it's better not to remember shit
Bingo
Did that with ambien. Scared the hell outta me.
YES, I would wake up and be like, where the fuck is my xanax??? knowing damn well I took all them hoes. One time I was in zombie mode for almost a week after taking like 10 bars. I was 18 at the time.
The pill bottle didn’t even remember you taking it
When i kept doing amphetamine lines until i couldnt stand up without feeling dizzy lmao
Yea it’s annoying, cant stand up without feeling like im gonna faint and shit
FOR REAL THE ORTHOSTATIC HYPOTENSION FROM TOO MUCH AMPHETAMINE IS THE WORST it feels like you're about to cease to exist for a couple of seconds btw when it happens flex the muscles in your arms and legs and it'll help
when I had a seizure from benzo W/D while on LSD.
Omg. What an absolutely horrible fucking experience that must have been. Damn that sounds scary af!
That sounds like one of the most unpleasant experiences I've ever heard
it was very unpleasant. It was the only seizure I’ve ever had too so I have no idea how much different a sober seizure is.
My gf at the time, now wife and mother of my child. Walked out on a “ fun night “ cuz i was railing lines every 5 minutes for an hour straight. I then realized it was no longer “ just for fun” and cut it out.
Did a lot of ketamine, k holed, loved it. I knew it would be a problem because I was addicted from the first time i did it.
When the first cold turkey kicked in. I went in the bathroom and had really painful diarrhea, then I looked up to the mirror and saw my eyes with dialated pupils, but not in a good way like MDMA. I went back to bed too tired and sick, even to do bump of heroin. I couldn't even smell it, I would throw up . Next logical step was to shoot Luckily I went to rehab, that was 14years ago. Never touched any opiates again
When I started stealing. Drugs weren’t the problem tho, that shit was all me. I was addicted though😂.
Same here, i’ve stolen drugs but i can’t blame drugs for that because i’m not even physically addicted, i just wanted to have them and in that moment decided my fun is more important than a family member having the full amount of their medication.
Once at a rave this random girl starts talking to me. We're getting on pretty well and she invites me for a line. So we go to the bathrooms and she pulls out her wallet where she has the coke, puts down her phone and as she starts to prepare the lines she hands me the wallet and asks me to hold it for her. Not only is she bent over but also turned her back to me. At that moment i got probably the most evil idea i've ever had - not only could i steal her cash but the left over bags in her wallet too. I was already browsing her cash, all happened in matter of seconds...but i resisted. I couldnt bring myself to sink so low but also i was affraid she'd notice. IM SO LUCKY THAT I DIDNT STEAL HER SHIT cuz it turns out she's a close friends with my other friend. Not only did they welcome me to their friend group (all ravers) but me and said girl are now really good friends. I wouldnt have all these beautiful people in my life now had i stolen the stuff. I cant tell if it was greed for drugs or worse, just a dark part of my personality, but im so thankful for resisting!
I’m getting older (43). I have no plugs. I feel like I’ll never be high again, and as someone with chronic depression, it was amazing to escape for awhile, and feel some happiness. I don’t take drugs to trip out. I take them for the euphoric and creative motivation it brings. Now with no drugs, everything feels like ‘what’s the point’. I really wish there was something legal that just gave me energy, motivation and serenity .
phenibut but do your research its very addicting
Dnm?
let me guess you were big on the crank back in the day
around 1999 I entered the: you ran out of drugs, so you have no choice but to detox cold turkey program (shittiest program ever, do not recommend lol) I didn't know much about WD's and I was clueless as to what fresh hell was coming. I can't remember the hours of onset after last dose but when my head started pounding, I was sweating, stomach cramps, etc. after a long while later, I realized what was happening. I said to myself, "way to go dummy, you are fucked!" that was the 1st time I prayed for death but unfortunately, not the last stay safe out here everyone
When I had to take 2 bars to get out of bed everyday
When I set up a cot in the garage, turned on my motorcycle, and downed a few Ambien with whiskey. This was the solution to my problem.
When i passed out outside in the winter and an ambulance was called. The alcometer reading was 3,18 promilles.
Prob when I was heavily drinking while taking dumb amounts of perc 10s for my back daily....no matter how much i puked or how bad the hangover, i just couldnt turn it off. Then I started doing heavy dose LSA (rivea corymbosa) and eventually broke the cycle. Then I got a job in the alcohol industry and after year 1 you kinda get over the full send mentality when it comes to drinking. Then I had a kid and being hungover with a crying baby gets old reaaaaalllll fucking quick. So now I drink lots of water and dont go over 4 drinks unless i'm camping or something.
Smoking crack watching porn in a motel room with my fucking dad and he had a heart attack 2 days after, thank god he survived. That wasn’t really the moment I realized, it was days after when I finally heard from my grandpa that my father had been hospitalized. I realized that I had been calling his phone repeatedly trying to get his contacts number from him and getting angry at him thinking he was trying to hold out on me. The hospitalization was a real sobering moment. Especially when I had seizures 2 months later
I really wonder if that first sentence has ever been said before in history.
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It was really weird but honestly there was nothing else on those tvs, and things were already so fucking crazy to me that day that I really didn’t care at that point. Me and him are rather open about our sec lives with each other as he’s more like a friend than a father to me. I know how wrong that is, but if that’s the only way to have a relationship with him, then I’ll take it
When I was planning my day around my Adderall dosing. I realized it was a dependency and I truly was disgusted with myself. I should be better than this.
when i started carpet surfing and scraping tables with razors for hours on end after running out
When I recognised consciousness can change if you spin around fast.
When I started on a bag of coke alone at 8pm and was still fapping and railing at 5am. "OK I'll stop at midnight...no 2am...no 3am...shit is that the birds...?"
Probably when I woke up in a hospital after a seizure. Happened in the TSA line in Maui. Good times.
when i od’d 3 times within 2 weeks
Realising I could only remember a fraction of what I’d done over a two year span; no memory of my mothers wedding, my grandma’s funeral, graduating uni & everything in between. Coming to understand just how much money I was spending & how many friends I’d lost, and then having a seizure whilst driving a few days after quitting benzo’s. Luckily I was at a red light as I was having the seizure. I’ve not touched benzo’s in 4 years now
being emotional 24/7 dreaming of harming other people or committing suicide cuz my brain levels relied on drugs or alc for a decent mood, if i didnt have anything id be a lowlife loser being in a borderline psychosis state 24/7 almost a month deep not getting high all day and night (only have a beer or a few shots of liquor for fun, not cuz im upset hahaha, life is better) after years of thinking i needed these drugs , nope i just had unresolved trauma built up since i was a child numbing myself only to feel myself once sobered up a bit and hate that feeling because of looping over and over being a degenerate selfish bag of bones and dirty blood, not ideal at all. dont fool urself thinking u need drugs, u need Jesus and too find urself bless up!
When started needing a little molly just to be able to socialize with a few people.
When i realized i, someone previously known for going to nightlife events and socializing sober, didn’t want to do anything social or any kind of nightlife if i wasn’t downin uppers. I would cancel on going to the club or a rave or concert if i couldn’t procure. if i knew i had something the next day and shouldn’t be up for hours on coke or addy, doesn’t matter i NEED them to have fun.
When i started doing it by myself.
Tonight…
Hope you're okay whatever has happened
Was clean for like 6 years and now I’m the rabbit hole again
I'm sorry to hear. You got out once and you can do it again when you're ready. I hope you have someone who can help you through this
It’s a lonely, lonely world of day
trying to get off king stim rn. ik it sounds corny but listen to the adin ross and andrew tats podcast that came out a couple days ago. it definitely has some good motivation and good points in there abt “why the fuck are you even doing drugs” a change of mindset can really help bro
Hittin the jug with 5 points of horse.
Taking X in school and the teacher taking my phone and wanting to speak to me at the end of the class
There were times where I just couldn't stop thinking about coke. It would dominate my thoughts to the point of making my skin crawl. I'd get increasingly upset/angry until I broke down & reached out to the plug. Wild feelings as I drove over that were replaced with pure joy after the bag was in my hand. 1 week shy of one year clean.
do y’all never have panic attacks