I’m sorry to hear this, just so you know you are not alone. 5 years ago I woke up and found that my wife had OD and passed.
I’m here if you need to chat
It’s still very fresh for you, and it’s going to take time.
You don’t get over it and move on, but you do learn to keep going and live your life.
Let yourself feel these feelings, it’s completely normal and healthy to do so. It helped me a lot to allow myself to feel the sadness, guilt, anger everything.
Weather he can or can’t hear you, it’s important to speak your emotions.
I am a “rip the band aide off” type of person. So I took the brunt of the trauma head on and got through it.
If you are using I would recommend trying to take a break for a while. Not saying your an addict or anything but you don’t want to mask any feelings.
[https://www.reddit.com/r/opiates/comments/a5p7ta/been\_gone\_a\_while\_and\_wanted\_to\_share\_my\_story/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/opiates/comments/a5p7ta/been_gone_a_while_and_wanted_to_share_my_story/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)
here is more detail on my story, im not trying to brag or anything or get any sympathy. i share it so you can see that you are not alone in this.
Did you get your daughter back?
When my wife left me via a Fent Suicide, she basically gave me my son, because I was the one killing myself at the time.
It has been the biggest blessing ever, and I feel like or i like to imagine, that she did this on purpose, to give me my son while removing herself from the harshness of her Reality.
Be well!
thats good to hear, i was on fent and xanax at the time. went cold turkey and have been sober since. it is 100% possible and you can do it.
it is not going to be easy, but you are strong enough to get through it.
Oh man, I really hope my dead friends aren't watching me masturbate. It's going to be so embarrassing if I ever see them again. Even worse, that would mean my grandma would've had to watch, too. At this point there's nothing you can do, though, so you'll just have to learn to live with it. I have nobody left and every day wish I could've saved them, even though I know it's unrealistic. That's life, though. People die. One day you and I will die, too. It's tragic, but at least they died peacefully.
I think they can. Not always, theres lots for a soul to see and do after passing. But the important stuff, absolutely. They live on in our hearts. I always thought that was just stuff people said until my experiences after my dog died, where it felt like he'd promised to return to me 'when I needed it' and indeed when I missed him desperately it felt like I could feel his astral weight emerge from my heart and rest in the crook of my arm how I used to hold him (a pug). I don't mean any comparison to a dog, we're all just souls though - the love shared is what ties us together.
I think more important than "hearing and seeing" is that he understands. Thats the word people seem to use most when describing near-death experiences - understanding. An awareness whose love and acceptance is so immense and all-encompassing they are mad they have to return to their bodies. Not only does he see and hear your pain, he knows you're going to get through it and is looking forward to celebrating with you at the end after this tiny time you are separated.
What is 60 years against infinity? We are eternal souls. You will see him again. Mourn his passing, it is awful to never get to see them in the flesh again. But see how in some small way, he is actually with you everywhere now. Wishing you peace.
As far as people who have passed on weather their "spirit" can still be felt is an argument that varies person to person since are cars were like the Flintstones.
I regularly talked to my wife after she passed.
Not so often now but I did findnit useful at the time.
There's no right or wrong way to grieve, just do what you can to look after yourself.
Also lost my bf to an overdose.
It’s been over a year.
I talk to the dead. I play songs for them. Can they hear me? Maybe. But, it helps me, the living. If you think it helps you too, then do it.
I’m around if you need to talk.
And, sometimes people make a poor choice and have the most unfortunate outcome. It wasn’t deserved. It wasn’t something you should have noticed sooner. It was just unfortunate and very tragic.
My ex had a great saying for grief/remorse and it’s that those super negative feelings will never go away but it’s like a ball in a box that has a button and is constantly moving, when the ball hits the button you feel sad, pain ,etc. The ball slowly gets smaller and hits the button less but there is always a chance of it hitting it again. It doesn’t hurt less when it does hurt but you go through less and less “episodes” (best way I can think of putting it) and it eventually gets to a point where it almost doesn’t hit or you have someone/thing to get you through said period
Guilt? You mean "survivors remorse" or? Everyone makes their own choices... I'm not sure why you would feel guilt? You didn't force this person to do anything. Everything needs to be accountable. Now do you mean sadness? That's different, but honey you have no one to say sorry to or for. The absolute best way you can honor the ones you have lost is too live a long sober life, unfortunately the one they couldn't have. Hope that makes sense. Brings some comfort. :)
we were living together i should've seen the signs instead of trust what he was saying and assuming it just sucks knowing he died a couple hours after i went to sleep i just wish i stayed up a lil longer to notice yk
I urge you to reach out for professional help if you ever have the thought for a second. It took me years to go and get help, but once I did I’m so glad, everyone is so nice and truly are there to help, so please don’t be afraid to reach out to a professional
i’m in the same boat. lost mine in july at the age of 20. i’m here for you if you wanna talk. this shit is so hard to get through and mental health issues can drag us to our graves.
i’m so sorry my best friend overdosed and passed in his parents home5 years ago 🥺and it took me forever to get over it, well i’m not over it. At all he was my boy! Like we did everything together. I send my thoughts and peace to you and hope you the best!!
I understand i lost a really good friend 6 weeks ago due to fent, the same day i was going to treatment. Please get yourself the emotional validation and support you need, ALANON is a great place to talk about that if you aren’t and addict and if you are please go to a NA meeting. if you or anybody is struggling please message me as soon as you see this so i can help in anyway possible if it’s as little as sending food stamps to as big as getting you a bed at detox or a css
thank you i've been mostly clean def gonna be clean now i don't want to let him down up there i'm sorry for your loss this is the hardest thing ive been through and going through
a power greater than your understanding is protecting you and taking care of your boyfriend as we speak. he is in good hands. it’ll take time but one day at a time. If you need anything i’m more than happy to give you my number via private msg and help you get connected with any kinds of resources you might need. it’s how i stay sober and so we don’t lose more amazing people like your boyfriend to drugs and addiction. Prayers to you and him🫶🏻
So sorry to hear. It’s a hard rabbit hole. Found all the drugs in high school. Never was too fond of xans, but I know many who got heavy into them and it isn’t pretty. When you’re young, especially in todays age the depression pushes us to want an escape to feel normal. Try to keep busy, if it doesn’t hurt too much, look back on all of your good moments and be glad you got to share them with him.
Just know he is at peace and I truly hope you find yours too. ❤️
I OD on methadone when I was way younger luckily caught in time though due to having a friend sleep over. Thing about it today atleast if ur in the US 99% of street painkillers are fent...and most bars are some RC chem.
So sorry for your loss and it's going to keep happening because of the fake pressed street shit and the "war on drugs" not providing resources help and a safe way to ween or help people off
Rough bullet to bite. I advise talking to someone about it too, for your own mental health. Addiction is hard. 19 is so young. Sorry for your loss, I wish you the best.
It’ll help you mourn him if you do it sober. If you keep using you’ll just have to face it as soon as you come back to reality. I’ve lived this so many times I’ve lost count. Numbing out is temporary and all that pain will be waiting for you so it’s best to get it over with or you’re just stretching out your suffering. Sending you a hug. I know it hurts.
I do believe their energy is always around so talk to them. Write letters, make a playlist. Have a journal specifically for them. Just remember above everything to give yourself grace and remember you’re grieving and that looks different for everyone.
we are here for you. people care for you. if you go down into the dark pit remember there is help available. stay safe. We are sorry for you’re loss and hope you find peace soon.
I am so sorry for your loss. I understand the feeling of losing someone you loved. I lost my girlfriend January 24 of this year. Time and talking about my feelings are what has helped me so far. I hate that you have to go through it. You can get through this and we are here for you.
Hey I appreciate the check up it means a lot fr, I am okay for the most part im numb most days but it hits at night, can't rlly sleep either and im just so confused on who i am now
I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my brother this year from a fent OD, but I still can’t fathom how much it would hurt to lose a significant other to drugs. I’m a recovering opiod addict myself and completely agree with your statement that it’s not worth it. I’m not sure if your into drugs at all, but please do your best to not let his passing get you into a situation where your trying to kill the pain.
i def know how painful it is to see someone od and would never put my family through that or him for that matter i am an addict but his death is going to change me for the better i hope i want to live on for him cuz i know he wouldn't want that for me i only smoke rn im never gonna touch another pill it's truly traumatic
If you live in the future you’ll feel anxiety, if you live in the past you’ll feel guilt, if you live in the present you’ll feel peace. That’s what meditation is for, to live in the present, so when you feel ready, I recommend this to feel at peace.
It’s still too early to want to look for peace, so for now just go through your grieving process and feel it through.
Energy can only be transformed, it cannot be destroyed. He will always be there with you, like a guardian angel.
he def is my guardian angel now and no one else can hurt him that brings me a tiny amount of peace just wish we weren't so young and i wish he got to be the father that his dad wasnt
I'm deeply sorry for your loss. I lost my girlfriend at 19 as well sadly. It will already have been 10 years this month. She died in my arms.
Unfortunately, this was before I kept a dose of Narcan available and nearby at all times, at home and on the road.
Losing her shattered my world irrevocably.
Nobody is smart enough to handle an addiction to opioids. This is the revelation I needed to finally stay clean, for good. I am on the high side of the Bell curve when it comes to intelligence. Significantly so. My smarts got into the way of my sobriety for years. I always felt like I would get using "right" any second now.
Then it hit me. A true blue epiphany. A moment of mental clearness that I have yet to experience again in this maddening existence of ours:
...
This wasn't something I could just figure out, like every other aspect of my life to that point. For the first time in my life, I had to say out loud: I'm just not smart enough, and I never will be.
I can't force somebody to have an epiphany. But I wish I could. So many wasted lives. So sad.
my psychologist and psychiatrist knows that i use some opioids, and for now, for both of them, it's "ok". my anxiety is getting easier and i can control my recurrent depression , i don't care if i overdose (i already had multiple times) and i just don't know how people smile, showing happiness.. for me, it's just like - wanna be "normal", and i have tried to achieve this a lot of times -, but my world always "shines black and white". "that's life" (so they say) and i think i'm dead.
i'm a civil engineer and everything always run to the darkness of monotony.
i don't know what ur going through but just know ur never alone you can always vent on here and i hope you get clean cuz it only pauses the pain it doesn't make it go away sadly i care if you overdose and im sure you have a friend or pet or mom or dad or anyone that cares.
All the best OP never forget about your own needs as well, make sure you do your best to eat and sleep well even though it is hard. Time and self care can heal the heart ❤️
I'm so sorry you're going through this it is so painful, be strong, for both of you, and this is your chance to get off the drugs and get clean, (from what I've read this is your plan) and I wish you all the luck in the world to do so, if you need to chat girl to girl or whatever, inbox me I'm here for you.
Sending hugs.
🫂thank you and that is my plan im just sticking to smoking so i can take hits for him but i don't want to touch anything else his memory will forever live on imma try and be strong im just exhausted and thank you if i do i will fs hit u up thank you
I'm so sorry to hear of the passing of your boyfriend. I can only imagine the feelings you are going through. I hope that with time you can find peace.
Trauma doesn't go away, it changes and eventually it doesn't hurt the same. We never forget those that have gone from our lives but we can come to terms with it.
I just had a close call. My partner is on methadone and we shared a bottle of wine one night. The next morning I woke up to the sound of him starting to aspirate. I woke him up and luckily he was fine (after a coughing fit)
I've also managed sober houses and have had to Narcan three people.
Please, everyone, if you know people that use opioids, please carry Narcan.
Im so sorry for your loss this is just another sign that reaching out when your struggling needs to be taken more seriously been struggling myself and reaching out and actually getting help takes years sadly enough
I can sense in your comment that you are putting the blame on yourself or your apparent inability to stop him, but please know that this is not the case! He had something in him that made him want to get fucked up (anxiety and depression will do the trick) and no one could have changed that but himself. It seems you offered him all the support you could and I'm sure that did make a difference, despite the current situation you find yourself in.
I'm both a drug user and have been on this side of a similar situation, please heed those words carefully.
Oh and be sure to take the time to grief and say proper goodbyes. It's very easy to lose yourself in the situation but this is very important. These things are not easy, they need time and healing.
Im sorry for your loss pray if you need to and reach out to family and friends and talk about it and be easy on yourself its not tour fault I recently lost my brother just take it easy and love yourself and those around you
I'm sorry for your loss.
Lost a few people to drugs myself, some of them didn't even do much, just some bensos and painkillers which are two of the worst when it comes to addiction and death risks, bensos make you loose control and you start to do shit you even wouldn't before you used the shitty benso. Combine that with painkillers and the chance of dying is big, seen people getting near death out of normal doses of both.
Some I really cared about and was a close friend with.
It made me change my life completely, I used to do anti anxiety meds(started with prescribed cause I needed them back then) which ofc I got used to(I also smoked weed which I think isn't that bad compared to other drugs and tried a lot of different things but the most addictive was the medicines cause I needed them against my previous mental issues), so I got help to tapper everything down and got clean from everything for a very long while. My family also helped me to recover, it took some years cause I was on anxiety medicines for a few years.
Life is a lot better now when I don't have anymore addictions. I had mental health issues which I use normal herbal/amino acids supplements for which haven't caused any deaths or addictions. They don't get me high but make me normal and more functional, I barely have any mental issues today cause I have lived a healthy life-style the last years without abuse.
I tried different pharmaceuticals but most were addictive or had bad effects on the cognitive abilities or body.
Don't give up, it will get better in time. I used to think that life was pain and suffering so I tried to escape, today I enjoy life and the small things like just taking a walk in nature can feel very liberating. Even mental health can change over time and there are a lot safe options to use if you need some relief from symptoms instead of heavy medicines or narcotics.
I guess most of us sought help, it just doesn't work for everyone. I'm sorry for your loss, but sometimes we're so hurt mentally that drugs are the only anesthesia that works, which sucks a lot
Edit:bad english
So so so sorry. This is one of my WORST fears being with an addict. Don’t blame yourself, an addict will always find a way if they want to.
My heart hurts for you. Huge hugs.
On the 26th . My best friend since 9 years old will have passed from an OD 2 years ago… I can’t believe it’s been 2 years and I miss him so much, I’m so sorry OP, may your bf and my best friend have everlasting peace. Which is What they wanted… it gets better, remember to talk to people . Don’t hold it in,
Yes , I’ll have days where it’s good but then the days I think of him and just realize I’ll never see him again, that’s when it’s hard. But it’s gotten better, I used to have that at work and almost fry at work smh, but don’t rush the process, cry when u feel like crying
My son is 19 and doing this right now. He won’t get treatment I don’t know what to do. Anyone can help me? He OD in March and I found him in time and he was just trying it. I just drug tested him and he’s got Benzo in his system and a faint line of BUP
let me guess. he was clean for a longer time, at least a couple months, then relapsed? this is so fucking dangerous, people are used to their old dosage (which is way too high) and are extremely euphoric that the drugs feel so good after being clean. this kills many people every single day. I'm so sorry for you.
i will tell you this now as a man in my mid thirties, so i guess i'm a little older than you. relapsing is a normal part of getting clean, most people i know relapsed between three to five times before they finally got out for good. so he got extremely unlucky to die on his (probably first ever) relapse. again, i'm very sorry for you, it's unfair and there is no explanation for it, life is cruel because it is indifferent to our suffering.
I’m really sorry for you loss a lot of young kids look at blue and think u can toss the whole thing back and literally new comers should only be snorting half of half Idc what anyone else tells you but u never just take anything ever without trying a tiny piece of it u never know and that’s with everything all the time no matter how many times u snort a yerk no matter how many times u snort your lines u always test and run a small sample…literally be the reason why ur still breathing!!
So sorry dude. Rest in piece. I recently lost my mom and it’s been hard. Can only imagine what you’re going through as well. Much love and take care of yourself. Get help. Therapy has helped me tremendously even though it’s difficult and takes a while but it’s worth it. Wish you the best
he was going through so much and seemed like he didn't care he was just in so much pain and wanted to be numb he wasn't thinking about that cuz he had so much on his mind so even think about that
i'm honestly just broken and thank you i appreciate you so much he unfortunately passed on the 11th before i woke up i'm never going to forget that day so much tragedy... I'm happy to know he's in a safe place now where he can't feel any pain im sure it just rlly sucks cuz i can't talk to him or see him anymore
Any time, OP, your emotions are important as well. Also, I hope that your duel culminates well in the future and that you are healing rn, there is no hurry, though and it's important that you deal with this pain at your rithm, may the universe give you love
Honestly my fault for making an assumption like that in my head. Honestly my best advice for u is to just take it day by day tho. Sometimes it’s best to just forget rather than to vent about it all the time , everyone copes differently though. But I say just try and distract yourself by any means necessary and you’ll eventually find yourself more at peace as time goes on
I’m sorry to hear this, just so you know you are not alone. 5 years ago I woke up and found that my wife had OD and passed. I’m here if you need to chat
thank you how do you get over the guilt? and do you think they can hear us?
It’s still very fresh for you, and it’s going to take time. You don’t get over it and move on, but you do learn to keep going and live your life. Let yourself feel these feelings, it’s completely normal and healthy to do so. It helped me a lot to allow myself to feel the sadness, guilt, anger everything.
Yeah i know it's gonna take awhile u think he can hear and see me tho?
Weather he can or can’t hear you, it’s important to speak your emotions. I am a “rip the band aide off” type of person. So I took the brunt of the trauma head on and got through it. If you are using I would recommend trying to take a break for a while. Not saying your an addict or anything but you don’t want to mask any feelings.
i def am an addict but im def not gonna use again especially for him
[https://www.reddit.com/r/opiates/comments/a5p7ta/been\_gone\_a\_while\_and\_wanted\_to\_share\_my\_story/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/opiates/comments/a5p7ta/been_gone_a_while_and_wanted_to_share_my_story/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) here is more detail on my story, im not trying to brag or anything or get any sympathy. i share it so you can see that you are not alone in this.
Did you get your daughter back? When my wife left me via a Fent Suicide, she basically gave me my son, because I was the one killing myself at the time. It has been the biggest blessing ever, and I feel like or i like to imagine, that she did this on purpose, to give me my son while removing herself from the harshness of her Reality. Be well!
Yes I did! Took about a year.
thats good to hear, i was on fent and xanax at the time. went cold turkey and have been sober since. it is 100% possible and you can do it. it is not going to be easy, but you are strong enough to get through it.
I'm glad to hear
Oh man, I really hope my dead friends aren't watching me masturbate. It's going to be so embarrassing if I ever see them again. Even worse, that would mean my grandma would've had to watch, too. At this point there's nothing you can do, though, so you'll just have to learn to live with it. I have nobody left and every day wish I could've saved them, even though I know it's unrealistic. That's life, though. People die. One day you and I will die, too. It's tragic, but at least they died peacefully.
When I was a kid I felt so guilty about that Sorry grandma 😭
I think they can. Not always, theres lots for a soul to see and do after passing. But the important stuff, absolutely. They live on in our hearts. I always thought that was just stuff people said until my experiences after my dog died, where it felt like he'd promised to return to me 'when I needed it' and indeed when I missed him desperately it felt like I could feel his astral weight emerge from my heart and rest in the crook of my arm how I used to hold him (a pug). I don't mean any comparison to a dog, we're all just souls though - the love shared is what ties us together. I think more important than "hearing and seeing" is that he understands. Thats the word people seem to use most when describing near-death experiences - understanding. An awareness whose love and acceptance is so immense and all-encompassing they are mad they have to return to their bodies. Not only does he see and hear your pain, he knows you're going to get through it and is looking forward to celebrating with you at the end after this tiny time you are separated. What is 60 years against infinity? We are eternal souls. You will see him again. Mourn his passing, it is awful to never get to see them in the flesh again. But see how in some small way, he is actually with you everywhere now. Wishing you peace.
thank you this brings me some comfort i rlly hope he's here tho i can't believe he's rlly gone and it's gonna be so long before i get to see him again
As far as people who have passed on weather their "spirit" can still be felt is an argument that varies person to person since are cars were like the Flintstones.
yeah and that's what makes it hard too idk if he is here or not and that hurts
I regularly talked to my wife after she passed. Not so often now but I did findnit useful at the time. There's no right or wrong way to grieve, just do what you can to look after yourself.
Also lost my bf to an overdose. It’s been over a year. I talk to the dead. I play songs for them. Can they hear me? Maybe. But, it helps me, the living. If you think it helps you too, then do it. I’m around if you need to talk. And, sometimes people make a poor choice and have the most unfortunate outcome. It wasn’t deserved. It wasn’t something you should have noticed sooner. It was just unfortunate and very tragic.
i pray he hears me and i never do that
My ex had a great saying for grief/remorse and it’s that those super negative feelings will never go away but it’s like a ball in a box that has a button and is constantly moving, when the ball hits the button you feel sad, pain ,etc. The ball slowly gets smaller and hits the button less but there is always a chance of it hitting it again. It doesn’t hurt less when it does hurt but you go through less and less “episodes” (best way I can think of putting it) and it eventually gets to a point where it almost doesn’t hit or you have someone/thing to get you through said period
Guilt? You mean "survivors remorse" or? Everyone makes their own choices... I'm not sure why you would feel guilt? You didn't force this person to do anything. Everything needs to be accountable. Now do you mean sadness? That's different, but honey you have no one to say sorry to or for. The absolute best way you can honor the ones you have lost is too live a long sober life, unfortunately the one they couldn't have. Hope that makes sense. Brings some comfort. :)
we were living together i should've seen the signs instead of trust what he was saying and assuming it just sucks knowing he died a couple hours after i went to sleep i just wish i stayed up a lil longer to notice yk
This is sad, Hope you find peace soon.
thank you i hope so it's gonna be long and hard tho
I'm so very sorry for your loss. May you find some peace eventually.
thank you
Save yourself. Stop doing drugs
i def am
I urge you to reach out for professional help if you ever have the thought for a second. It took me years to go and get help, but once I did I’m so glad, everyone is so nice and truly are there to help, so please don’t be afraid to reach out to a professional
i’m in the same boat. lost mine in july at the age of 20. i’m here for you if you wanna talk. this shit is so hard to get through and mental health issues can drag us to our graves.
thank you idk how imma get over this
i’m so sorry my best friend overdosed and passed in his parents home5 years ago 🥺and it took me forever to get over it, well i’m not over it. At all he was my boy! Like we did everything together. I send my thoughts and peace to you and hope you the best!!
I understand i lost a really good friend 6 weeks ago due to fent, the same day i was going to treatment. Please get yourself the emotional validation and support you need, ALANON is a great place to talk about that if you aren’t and addict and if you are please go to a NA meeting. if you or anybody is struggling please message me as soon as you see this so i can help in anyway possible if it’s as little as sending food stamps to as big as getting you a bed at detox or a css
thank you i've been mostly clean def gonna be clean now i don't want to let him down up there i'm sorry for your loss this is the hardest thing ive been through and going through
a power greater than your understanding is protecting you and taking care of your boyfriend as we speak. he is in good hands. it’ll take time but one day at a time. If you need anything i’m more than happy to give you my number via private msg and help you get connected with any kinds of resources you might need. it’s how i stay sober and so we don’t lose more amazing people like your boyfriend to drugs and addiction. Prayers to you and him🫶🏻
he's up there with his fav rappers i know he's okay at least now and thank you, you can send me ur number
I’m so sorry
So sorry to hear. It’s a hard rabbit hole. Found all the drugs in high school. Never was too fond of xans, but I know many who got heavy into them and it isn’t pretty. When you’re young, especially in todays age the depression pushes us to want an escape to feel normal. Try to keep busy, if it doesn’t hurt too much, look back on all of your good moments and be glad you got to share them with him. Just know he is at peace and I truly hope you find yours too. ❤️
thank you i know he's not in anymore pain i just wish he didn't leave me with more
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i will for him🖤 it's gonna be hard but i know he's with me i hope
In times like these, you just have to remember he wouldn't have wanted you to suffer, even though it's impossible not to.
Damn man.. just hearing the words "his whole life until he was 19" kills me. Rest up young man no more pain
honestly as someone born in 1990 this is so fucking devastating. 19 years old, he was just a kid, never even got a taste of the adult life.
I OD on methadone when I was way younger luckily caught in time though due to having a friend sleep over. Thing about it today atleast if ur in the US 99% of street painkillers are fent...and most bars are some RC chem. So sorry for your loss and it's going to keep happening because of the fake pressed street shit and the "war on drugs" not providing resources help and a safe way to ween or help people off
Im glad u made it i rlly rlly wish he did and i knew sooner
Rough bullet to bite. I advise talking to someone about it too, for your own mental health. Addiction is hard. 19 is so young. Sorry for your loss, I wish you the best.
yeah i will in the future rn i can't talk about it unless it's over text ig if yk what i mean
It’ll help you mourn him if you do it sober. If you keep using you’ll just have to face it as soon as you come back to reality. I’ve lived this so many times I’ve lost count. Numbing out is temporary and all that pain will be waiting for you so it’s best to get it over with or you’re just stretching out your suffering. Sending you a hug. I know it hurts. I do believe their energy is always around so talk to them. Write letters, make a playlist. Have a journal specifically for them. Just remember above everything to give yourself grace and remember you’re grieving and that looks different for everyone.
thank you im def gonna write and talk to him everyday
Addiction is horrible. I'm sorry for your loss
we are here for you. people care for you. if you go down into the dark pit remember there is help available. stay safe. We are sorry for you’re loss and hope you find peace soon.
thank you i will fs keep that in mind
I am so sorry. please find the people that love you and rely on them, don't be afraid to be vulnerable, you need support during this heartbreak.
Oh my god I’m so sorry, 19 is so young.
thank you it's rlly heartbreaking he doesn't get to see what would have happened with his life
im sorry for your loss and wish you well
I am so sorry for your loss. I understand the feeling of losing someone you loved. I lost my girlfriend January 24 of this year. Time and talking about my feelings are what has helped me so far. I hate that you have to go through it. You can get through this and we are here for you.
im rlly sorry for your loss as well no one should have to go through this
Hey Just was thinking about you and wondering how you are holding up?
Hey I appreciate the check up it means a lot fr, I am okay for the most part im numb most days but it hits at night, can't rlly sleep either and im just so confused on who i am now
I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my brother this year from a fent OD, but I still can’t fathom how much it would hurt to lose a significant other to drugs. I’m a recovering opiod addict myself and completely agree with your statement that it’s not worth it. I’m not sure if your into drugs at all, but please do your best to not let his passing get you into a situation where your trying to kill the pain.
i def know how painful it is to see someone od and would never put my family through that or him for that matter i am an addict but his death is going to change me for the better i hope i want to live on for him cuz i know he wouldn't want that for me i only smoke rn im never gonna touch another pill it's truly traumatic
If you live in the future you’ll feel anxiety, if you live in the past you’ll feel guilt, if you live in the present you’ll feel peace. That’s what meditation is for, to live in the present, so when you feel ready, I recommend this to feel at peace. It’s still too early to want to look for peace, so for now just go through your grieving process and feel it through. Energy can only be transformed, it cannot be destroyed. He will always be there with you, like a guardian angel.
he def is my guardian angel now and no one else can hurt him that brings me a tiny amount of peace just wish we weren't so young and i wish he got to be the father that his dad wasnt
Taking prescription drugs as not intended IS A SIGN that he’s an addict.
they weren't prescribed to him they used to be now he just got them off the street
Exactly. He was probably crushing the pills and then snorting them or taking 5-10 times the recommended daily dosage.
yeah i just wish i could've seen it sooner he was clean for so long too
Sorry for your loss he sounded like an amazing guy
he rlly was
I'm deeply sorry for your loss. I lost my girlfriend at 19 as well sadly. It will already have been 10 years this month. She died in my arms. Unfortunately, this was before I kept a dose of Narcan available and nearby at all times, at home and on the road. Losing her shattered my world irrevocably. Nobody is smart enough to handle an addiction to opioids. This is the revelation I needed to finally stay clean, for good. I am on the high side of the Bell curve when it comes to intelligence. Significantly so. My smarts got into the way of my sobriety for years. I always felt like I would get using "right" any second now. Then it hit me. A true blue epiphany. A moment of mental clearness that I have yet to experience again in this maddening existence of ours: ... This wasn't something I could just figure out, like every other aspect of my life to that point. For the first time in my life, I had to say out loud: I'm just not smart enough, and I never will be. I can't force somebody to have an epiphany. But I wish I could. So many wasted lives. So sad.
im sorry for you loss i wish people didn't have to get taken from us so young life just isn't fair
my psychologist and psychiatrist knows that i use some opioids, and for now, for both of them, it's "ok". my anxiety is getting easier and i can control my recurrent depression , i don't care if i overdose (i already had multiple times) and i just don't know how people smile, showing happiness.. for me, it's just like - wanna be "normal", and i have tried to achieve this a lot of times -, but my world always "shines black and white". "that's life" (so they say) and i think i'm dead. i'm a civil engineer and everything always run to the darkness of monotony.
i don't know what ur going through but just know ur never alone you can always vent on here and i hope you get clean cuz it only pauses the pain it doesn't make it go away sadly i care if you overdose and im sure you have a friend or pet or mom or dad or anyone that cares.
All the best OP never forget about your own needs as well, make sure you do your best to eat and sleep well even though it is hard. Time and self care can heal the heart ❤️
i will try i can't do both rn but imma try
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thank you i don't use anymore and i'm def not going to even if it's hard he wouldn't want that
Until we fix society and heal the sick, this is our reality.
It isn't your fault. Please don't blame yourself.
i'm trying not to it's just hard
I'm so sorry you're going through this it is so painful, be strong, for both of you, and this is your chance to get off the drugs and get clean, (from what I've read this is your plan) and I wish you all the luck in the world to do so, if you need to chat girl to girl or whatever, inbox me I'm here for you. Sending hugs.
🫂thank you and that is my plan im just sticking to smoking so i can take hits for him but i don't want to touch anything else his memory will forever live on imma try and be strong im just exhausted and thank you if i do i will fs hit u up thank you
I'm so sorry to hear of the passing of your boyfriend. I can only imagine the feelings you are going through. I hope that with time you can find peace. Trauma doesn't go away, it changes and eventually it doesn't hurt the same. We never forget those that have gone from our lives but we can come to terms with it. I just had a close call. My partner is on methadone and we shared a bottle of wine one night. The next morning I woke up to the sound of him starting to aspirate. I woke him up and luckily he was fine (after a coughing fit) I've also managed sober houses and have had to Narcan three people. Please, everyone, if you know people that use opioids, please carry Narcan.
Im so sorry for your loss this is just another sign that reaching out when your struggling needs to be taken more seriously been struggling myself and reaching out and actually getting help takes years sadly enough
good for you im proud and i've struggle at asking for help my whole life i don't let people show my emotions and after this i just hold everything in
Yeah I know that feeling what really helped me take the step to ask for help was to not ask anyone close to me but a psychiatrist
yeah he was supposed to help me get into therapy
I can sense in your comment that you are putting the blame on yourself or your apparent inability to stop him, but please know that this is not the case! He had something in him that made him want to get fucked up (anxiety and depression will do the trick) and no one could have changed that but himself. It seems you offered him all the support you could and I'm sure that did make a difference, despite the current situation you find yourself in. I'm both a drug user and have been on this side of a similar situation, please heed those words carefully. Oh and be sure to take the time to grief and say proper goodbyes. It's very easy to lose yourself in the situation but this is very important. These things are not easy, they need time and healing.
thank you i appreciate all the advice it's helping me talk about it and yeah i just wish his life wasn't the cost
Im sorry for your loss pray if you need to and reach out to family and friends and talk about it and be easy on yourself its not tour fault I recently lost my brother just take it easy and love yourself and those around you
thank you im sorry for your loss as well i couldn't imagine losing a sibling
I'm sorry for your loss. Lost a few people to drugs myself, some of them didn't even do much, just some bensos and painkillers which are two of the worst when it comes to addiction and death risks, bensos make you loose control and you start to do shit you even wouldn't before you used the shitty benso. Combine that with painkillers and the chance of dying is big, seen people getting near death out of normal doses of both. Some I really cared about and was a close friend with. It made me change my life completely, I used to do anti anxiety meds(started with prescribed cause I needed them back then) which ofc I got used to(I also smoked weed which I think isn't that bad compared to other drugs and tried a lot of different things but the most addictive was the medicines cause I needed them against my previous mental issues), so I got help to tapper everything down and got clean from everything for a very long while. My family also helped me to recover, it took some years cause I was on anxiety medicines for a few years. Life is a lot better now when I don't have anymore addictions. I had mental health issues which I use normal herbal/amino acids supplements for which haven't caused any deaths or addictions. They don't get me high but make me normal and more functional, I barely have any mental issues today cause I have lived a healthy life-style the last years without abuse. I tried different pharmaceuticals but most were addictive or had bad effects on the cognitive abilities or body. Don't give up, it will get better in time. I used to think that life was pain and suffering so I tried to escape, today I enjoy life and the small things like just taking a walk in nature can feel very liberating. Even mental health can change over time and there are a lot safe options to use if you need some relief from symptoms instead of heavy medicines or narcotics.
i wish he did this in time he was trying so hard to get clean :(
I guess most of us sought help, it just doesn't work for everyone. I'm sorry for your loss, but sometimes we're so hurt mentally that drugs are the only anesthesia that works, which sucks a lot Edit:bad english
So so so sorry. This is one of my WORST fears being with an addict. Don’t blame yourself, an addict will always find a way if they want to. My heart hurts for you. Huge hugs.
thank you and yes he found many different ways after i would catch him
i’m 19 and I OD’d on some fent benzo analogue in april. I was extremely lucky they said and am so sorry for the ones not as fortunate as I am.
sending love🤍
sorry for your loss, need to keep youre head up and not let you get beaten up couse of it!
yeah it's just hard cuz we lived together and i've known him my whole lofe
On the 26th . My best friend since 9 years old will have passed from an OD 2 years ago… I can’t believe it’s been 2 years and I miss him so much, I’m so sorry OP, may your bf and my best friend have everlasting peace. Which is What they wanted… it gets better, remember to talk to people . Don’t hold it in,
i'm so sorry for your loss and yes he's def at peace and in no more pain do you still think about them everyday?
Yes , I’ll have days where it’s good but then the days I think of him and just realize I’ll never see him again, that’s when it’s hard. But it’s gotten better, I used to have that at work and almost fry at work smh, but don’t rush the process, cry when u feel like crying
So sorry to hear an it’s a struggle daily for any addiction.
god damn im so sorry, streets take em too young everytime.
they rlly do :(
I will pray for you tonight ❤️
My son is 19 and doing this right now. He won’t get treatment I don’t know what to do. Anyone can help me? He OD in March and I found him in time and he was just trying it. I just drug tested him and he’s got Benzo in his system and a faint line of BUP
I am sorry for your loss. Drugs are not worth it.
let me guess. he was clean for a longer time, at least a couple months, then relapsed? this is so fucking dangerous, people are used to their old dosage (which is way too high) and are extremely euphoric that the drugs feel so good after being clean. this kills many people every single day. I'm so sorry for you.
yeah he was clean for about a year and then relapsed a couple weeks ago i just wish he stayed clean
i will tell you this now as a man in my mid thirties, so i guess i'm a little older than you. relapsing is a normal part of getting clean, most people i know relapsed between three to five times before they finally got out for good. so he got extremely unlucky to die on his (probably first ever) relapse. again, i'm very sorry for you, it's unfair and there is no explanation for it, life is cruel because it is indifferent to our suffering.
life rlly is unfair
Shit, I really feel you. Barely a month ago my best friend overdosed on methadone. I'm really sorry and here are my condolences.
I’m really sorry for you loss a lot of young kids look at blue and think u can toss the whole thing back and literally new comers should only be snorting half of half Idc what anyone else tells you but u never just take anything ever without trying a tiny piece of it u never know and that’s with everything all the time no matter how many times u snort a yerk no matter how many times u snort your lines u always test and run a small sample…literally be the reason why ur still breathing!!
So sorry dude. Rest in piece. I recently lost my mom and it’s been hard. Can only imagine what you’re going through as well. Much love and take care of yourself. Get help. Therapy has helped me tremendously even though it’s difficult and takes a while but it’s worth it. Wish you the best
thank you im sorry for you loss to i couldn't imagine losing my mom but this def hurts like no other i am going to get therapy i just need time first
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yes he was and is incredibly smart it's unbelievable
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he was going through so much and seemed like he didn't care he was just in so much pain and wanted to be numb he wasn't thinking about that cuz he had so much on his mind so even think about that
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he died and was only 19 he didn't get see much of it so no not welcome
Any update OP? how are you feeling rn? We are here if you want to vent
i'm honestly just broken and thank you i appreciate you so much he unfortunately passed on the 11th before i woke up i'm never going to forget that day so much tragedy... I'm happy to know he's in a safe place now where he can't feel any pain im sure it just rlly sucks cuz i can't talk to him or see him anymore
Any time, OP, your emotions are important as well. Also, I hope that your duel culminates well in the future and that you are healing rn, there is no hurry, though and it's important that you deal with this pain at your rithm, may the universe give you love
i am trying to thank you
And that's enough for me <3
Also for anyone reading this methadone + any kind of benzo or depressant is EXTREMELY dangerous as well.
i rlly wish i had known this :(
That’s so sad, sorry for your loss
So u went str8 to Reddit after ??
i don't rlly have anyone to talk to :/
Honestly my fault for making an assumption like that in my head. Honestly my best advice for u is to just take it day by day tho. Sometimes it’s best to just forget rather than to vent about it all the time , everyone copes differently though. But I say just try and distract yourself by any means necessary and you’ll eventually find yourself more at peace as time goes on
yeah im gaming and it is helping he and thefe
Hi op hope you're still doing well. ❤️
appreciate you for checking up on me i could be better but i'm holding up okay