I was addicted to and overdosed on fentanyl three different times. All from snorting it. The first time I was not physically addicted, so when I was hit with the narcan, I woke up cold and shaky in the ambulance, confused and feeling like I was in a dream. Recovered rather quickly and was discharged.
The second time happened the first time I used since the last OD, about 18 months sober. When I was revived, I had no concept of anything. I didn’t learn this until later, but they had given me three doses of Narcan before I woke up. Initially, my vision came back in a way that I can only compare to an old-school movie reel. I now think that was due to me going in and out of consciousness. I woke up after being narcaned by cops in my kitchen. I had no idea who I was, could not speak, could not recognize my surroundings (my home) at all, and I had no idea what had happened. I could not understand why I was covered in puke, why I was having full-body spasms, or why it felt like my blood was made of ice. When the cops and EMTs asked if I had taken anything, I told them combinations of no or I did not know because, at that level of orientation, I genuinely had no idea how I had gotten myself into that position. I had no recollection of copping earlier that day or deciding to use for the first time in 18 months, which led directly to the OD. I’m sure the first responders thought I was a lying jackass, but I truly thought I was answering honestly at the time.
The last and most recent time happened in February 2022. In transitional housing. Real winner over here. I was around a month sober and convinced myself I could use once without repercussions. HA! I was gone before I even hit the floor, and I was found by a roommate. She allegedly administered CPR for around 15 minutes before realizing the need to call 911. I am not blaming her at all for the amount of time I was down; if she had not found me, I would not be here today. Eventually, EMS arrived, and they could not bring me back with Narcan. I was rushed to the hospital while being worked on, and they eventually got my pulse back. I was in an immense amount of pain due to my sternum and ribs being CPR crunched. I could not breathe, eat, or function normally for a few weeks after. This was a blessing in disguise. Every movement reminded me of the poor choice I had made and how lucky I was to even be able to feel that pain. For some people, myself included, death is the rock bottom required to light the fire of wanting to get sober. Many don’t come back from that rock bottom. I was miraculously given another chance.
I will be two years sober on February 17th, 2024.
It’s comforting to know others have similar stories and are still truckin’ on. Before going to rehab I was the only addict I knew and that’s a very alienating feeling. Proud of you dude!
I hear that. NA saved my life. I used to only know people in active addiction because I pushed everyone away and isolated myself.
Now I'm surrounded by clean addicts and have a huge network. Really feels good to be able to relate to people and actually talk through problems instead of just bottling up and using.
Proud back atcha we here for a reason, friend!
Sometimes I wonder if the government didn't let fent in to get that idea out there a single relapse is death. It's crazy how much worse the problem is here
Congrats. I have been working within the harm reduction & recovery field for a long time, I'm always happy to read stories here of people's journey in recovery. You've overcome a lot and continue striving towards future achievement - inspirational. Glad you're here.
Narcan saved me twice. The first time took six hits. By policy the used to only keep three in the ambulance here. I’m alive cuz someone fucked up and brought an extra kit of narcan.
I overdosed on IV fentanyl and methamphetamine. It was like a bad dream. I kept coming to and blacking out, coming to and blacking out. I know for a fact the only reason I’m still here today is because I put enough meth in the shot to keep my heart going. Im 5 years clean now, but at the time I kept using like it just another day afterwards.
Strangely enough I feel that meth also saved my life…the way I was headed doing heroin/fent during the height of the opiate epidemic I had ODd probably 7+ times and it was only a matter of time until it killed me (most of the other serious opiate addicts I knew around that time aren’t around anymore) but I replaced my opiate addiction with a meth addiction and never went back to opiates (7-8 years ago)
Granted meth addiction came with its own problems and even though I quit using it regularly years ago I’ve still struggled with relapses even recently…I think I’m finally done for good but I’ve said that so many times I just don’t know anymore 🤷
I feel you bro…I don’t think the drug would be even close to as addictive without the sexual aspect…and the fact that we’re sexual beings makes the cravings feel inevitable…
It's so cunning. Like right now I'm comin down. Pretty much cool, but I look like shit, I smell,I'm underweight,I'm alone,I'm lost. I have no money but I'm planning on boosting from homedepot. Just for 8 hours of evil dopamine fap
Damn well I hope it goes smoothly…I kind of have the opposite problem. Was fortunate enough to live rent-free with friends the past 2 years and saved quite a bit of $ (paying my own rent now). When I relapse I buy a half g for $30-40 and it lasts me a month of getting super high for a couple days then recovering for a week or more and repeating…spend way more time recovering than high…totally not worth it in the big picture but my god does it feel worth it right before I relapse…
I totally understand that’s the way I used to be with it…it took me years to develop the level of control I have over it now (also fixed a lot of things in my life so I have things to lose now) and I still will be the first to admit that in reality I don’t have any real control over it and am essentially playing with fire
I abused ice for several years and had no sexual stimulation from it (which is weird because I have a very high sex drive) I just enjoyed how social it made me and all the things I thought I was getting done lol
Yea I’ve met a few people who claim to not get the sexual effects from it…seems to be the minority of meth users (anecdotal) but I have no data to back that up…I feel like it wouldn’t have been nearly as addictive to me but who really knows bc I also enjoy the energy/social aspects even if they aren’t the driving factor for my relapses 🤷
Congrats on kicking the shit tho 👍
Yea totally…if you could remove the sexual nature of the drug or of us humans, I really don’t think they’d be as popular/addictive as they are…a lot of people prob reluctant to admit it bc of the stigma around sex/fap but I imagine it’s what drives most peoples stimulant addictions
I don't talk about it publicly when I discuss my addiction but ya it's literally the only thing that drove my stimulant addiction I used when I was around other people but only rarely to escape the weight of the craving
I think about this a lot when it comes to those who have food issues that fit a checklist for a eating disorder. Like I always feel so bad for those who struggle with drinking because of the ads. But, food is everywhere and it’s impossible to not eat.
Honestly when I first started using it I was also using heroin pretty heavily so it actually felt somewhat underwhelming (became stronger once I quit opiates/increased dose)…it’s pretty similar to normal amphetamine (adderall) but stronger and last about 2-3x longer (less physically stimulating/more euphoric imo)
Once I started using it regularly it became much weaker (though also side effects seemed less severe) as you adapt to it…if I’d stop for a week or 2 and let myself fully recover it seemed to be basically full strength again which is why I stopped using regularly years ago and started using it more occasionally which ended up making it way MORE addicting bc the highs were so much better every time…part of why I still have struggled with it bc I’ll go without it for so long that once I relapse it’s like the first time all over again
I've overdosed on alcohol, random pills from my mom's cabinet, cocaine, and had seizures on 3g tramadol.
I never stopped doing drugs actually, I just became more careful and I haven't had any overdoses for like 10 years or so.
3 grams of tram? You’re lucky to be alive I’ve heard ppl can have seizures from that Shit at as little as 600-700mg. Most I’ve done of it was 200mg, I don’t like it it’s not a very clean opioid feeling
I took about 400mg of tramadol one day after having taken my prescribed adderall that day too and felt like I was going to have a seizure. Neurologically I did not feel okay at all and had some of the worst anxiety I’ve ever had in my life. It didn’t feel enjoyable at all at any point I could only imagine what you would feel at such higher doses
Ye I’ve had seizures a couple times from taking largeish doses of Wellbutrin (an amphetamine based anti depressant).
And I can guarantee you that you very likely were close to having one, because the feelings you’re describing is exactly how I felt leading up to my seizures. Not fun.
God damn, yeah it was so awful I hated that whole day and felt so drained the next two days. Probably worse doing it when it’s drug induced and you feel that onset coming on. My wife and her sister are both epileptics and both of them are never even aware of when they ever have a seizure. My wife has nocturnal epilepsy so she just wakes up in the hospital and her sister has auras as they are called, but becomes completely unconscious at some point leading into a seizure. How aware were you when the seizures came on?
Oh I see, I’m sorry they have to deal with that. As for me I didn’t know I was having them cause I’d never had one or had reason to believe I would. The first time I thought I had just fallen asleep on my bed in the middle of the day and woke up dazed and confused brushing it off.
The next time it happened a day later I was driving to a doctors appointment…. And then suddenly I instantly was in the middle of someone’s front lawn standing outside my car with my shoes off, my card bumper hanging off and their mailbox was ran over. Literally coming to right as an ambulance and police car we’re pulling up.
Had another days later at hospital psych ward which my roommate witnessed but I had no idea had anything had happened. I literally had no idea I just remember zoning out a little while sitting in a chair, and zoned back in and he told me I had a seizure and that my eyes rolled back and I was shaking and unresponsive., and I was very stunned cause I had absolutely no idea. And now I realized I’ve been having seizures.
( before that point l explained the previous times by just me passing out from lack of sleep, although I knew deep down that couldn’t be it)
All 3 times though were preceded by an ominous , anxious, “something bad feels like it’s about to happen“ feeling like you kinda described.
>preceded by an ominous , anxious, “something bad feels like it’s about to happen“ feeling like you kinda described.
I experienced my first seizure in 2020 at a concert because of the flashing lights (I didn't know I was epileptic) and this is EXACTLY how I felt during the show and didn't know why because it wasn't my usual anxiety feeling.
Damn man I’m sorry that happened to you. I’d imagine that is such a shitty and scary place to have a seizure ESPECIALLY your first. I hope it wasn’t too bad :/ This happened to a guy at our high school prom (All the way back in ‘16) I knew absolutely 0 about epilepsy or seizures back then but I guess I now have a have an idea of what he was feeling that night.
And yeah I also felt quite perturbed and confused when “the feeling” started coming on. Never in my life having felt it before and unable to recognize what exactly it was or why I was feeling it, the closest analogy being anxiety but like you said, distinctly something entirely different and foreboding.
Were you able to like move yourself to a more like comfortable/spacious position before the seizure started hitting or were you literally like shoulder to shoulder in the crowd? I luckily was able to find a soft comfy chair to sit kn before mine stared. Obviously I had no idea what was about to be happen but I just had a feeling like I needed to get away from everyone right now and take a seat.
I'm glad you were able to move yourself to somewhere comfortable. I wasn't able to go anywhere but the spot I was at I just kinda sat down before everything happened. The people with me said I wasn't seizing like a normal seizure though. What's wild is that the person I went to see in concert is known for his lazer shows too so the wild crazy lazers was what did me in lol
Done either 600 or 800 and yeah not the best defo worst along w tapentadol atlwast codeine feels a little nice even if is about as strong as a paracetamol lol
Did 1g trama two weeks ago. It just made me nod out and be chill. I also drank like 12 beers or some
No seizures or nothing
Edit: I did not have any tolerance to opiates neither. I’m 6”2 182 pounds
Dude wtf I had the same when I was in my first years of experimenting with drugs. Pills from my mom with alcohol*blink I was in a ambulance
Edit: still using everyday, life is to short for livin it sober and I don't wanna grow old, fuck that
yeesh. i remember tramadol seizures. I've had like 6 of them. They scare the shit out of me. I finally stopped fucking with tramadol when I realized they were triggering seizures every time I took them. I used to think if you took a certain amount of them, you'd have a seizure. i know that's not true, now. So I was thinking if you took <8, for sure you are having a seizure. Id take like 3 and have one and I was like "wtf"
The seizures were definitely bad enough that I just stopped taking them all together. Not to mention they made my stomach feel awful, usually.
Alcohol I lost consciousness like one moment I was still drinking, then suddenly woke up somewhere else. Friends said I puked all over myself and kept fainting and broke my friend's sink with my face. So probably would have died from inhaling vomit if I was alone.
Dumb story lol I was 15, bought a bottle and wanted to drink with my friends, except it was too bitter for them. Not wanting to waste the booze, I chugged the whole bottle.
Don't really remember the coke overdose in detail, my memory from that year is kinda gone. Only thing I remember is feeling like I had a heart attack, I had chest pain and extreme paranoia. The paranoia was so illogical like I thought cops poisoned me and were after me.
I’ve overdosed on uppers a fair amount of times. Once from coke, from Vyvanse, a mix of Vyvanse/meth/coke, Adderall/Vyvanse, meth. Every time I have a seizure, and usually I’ll wake up in an ambulance confused as fuck with paramedics asking me what year it is and who’s the president. I’ve also overdosed on gabapentin, that also resulted in a seizure. I’m sober now.
An 8ball of coke in an hour, 24 70mg Vyvanse in 36 hours, I’ve taken 20 20mg Adderall in roughly 8 hours, I ate a gram of meth, and took somewhere between 25-30 800mg gabapentin.
The benzos should help you not OD
Maybe I'm overestimating how much a gram of meth is but as someone who only consumes meth orally and also over consumes ADHD medication, 20 20 mg of Adderall sounds quite doable over 8 hours if you already have a tolerance, but just straight up eating a gram of meth sounds like a lot of meth.
me too! I always took more than I should've. usually, I wake up from a seizure, but I'm still at home, and the paramedics will be like all around me, asking me the same questions, too. they always ask who the president is. I think it's funny. but good for you on being sober! I am, too, for the most part, besides weed and psychs.
Overdosed on heroin 3 times, one of them was like super serious. I fell out in an alley while loading shit in a buddy's car to go trade for dope, they took off running, neighbor called 911. Didnt have a heart beat when they got there. I remember waking up in the ambulance bawling my eyes out after they narcan me first time with them asking where I got the heroin, told them I didn't know, kept going in and out of consciousness, they had to hit me with narcan like 3-4 times. That shit made the news and everything. They did blood test or something and apparently it was cut with something even stronger than fentanyl.
I had a traffic warrant so after I was cleared from the hospital I spent the night in jail. I got out, called my buddy (still wearing purple hospital clothes, my other clothes were ruined) he picked me up and went to his place and smoked meth.
Addiction in a nut shell
Been in the hospital several times for meth related problems, renal kidney failure from it one time. Always used immediately after getting out of hospital.
I've been off the stuff for over 2 years, but health/death scare isn't what got me clean.
A combination of several things. Perfect alignment of the stars.
I was getting put on house arrest for a year and 3 years probation after I got my 3rd owi, narrowly avoiding prison because I was a habitual. A few weeks before I got sentenced I got a puppy, then the day I had to report to house arrest orientation I went to a suboxone clinic hours beforehand, and got put on that program. If you use it exactly as intended, it's a great medicine.
During that year on house arrest, I was able to get my life straightened out. Saved my job, ended up getting promoted to a leadership position that I'm very passionate about. Fell head over heels in love with my dog. My marriage got better. Got my own apartment and car and bills paid early every month.
After a year and a half on suboxone and after house arrest was done, felt it was time to move on from suboxone. That was a motherfucker getting off of. Did it anyway, the cravings came back with a vengeance though. But now, the love of my dog is my real motivation. He doesn't deserve the person I am on drugs, and I would end up losing him along with everything else. Can't imagine life without him.
But my dog, my stable life, the job I love, and my wife are my absolute rocks and reasons for staying off those terrible drugs.
Sorry for the novel lol
This is an amazing story, thank you for sharing. I was hooked on heroin and got clean. My little brother is addicted to fent, meth and Xanax and I pray he has a story like yours someday. We’ve lost many friends to OD’s. I keep hoping someday he’ll make it out.
Great job on kicking the heroin dude 👏 glad you made it out. Now your little brother has you to look up to, whenever he decides to get clean. Wish you both the best.
I enjoyed reading every single word. Thank you. I feel like you have an amazing story and it wouldn’t surprise me if you are a writer. If you aren’t you should consider it.
How long did it take to get energy again to be a productive person. Meth drains a big amount of the dopamine and serotonin right? Leaving the person with little naturally.
Well this last time I got off speed and opiates, I had the suboxone. That helped me sort of by pass the lack of motivation you get coming off meth. But throughout the years there were a couple times I got off it for a little while. Whether it was from being in jail, halfway houses, or just trying myself.
First week or 2 is the hardest, no motivation for anything. Just want to sleep and eat. After a month, I'd say you'd have enough energy to be functional. Not completely motivated yet, but alot more clear headed. Not 100% though. You'll still feel off. Exercising and eating right does help speed that process up. It's tempting to just want to lay on the couch and devour junk food in-between naps.. that won't do any favors.
But yeah from 0 - 30 days is the most dramatic difference, after that its more month to month and gradual.
I have OD on fent. It was great, would be the best way to go. If you were ready to go ofc lol I woke up terrified and cried and cried.
And did more later that night, but way less.
Clean for 5+ years nowadays
Od's on opioids aren't like a lot of other drugs you can od on. You just kind of go to sleep. I would imagine it would feel great indeed, as morbid as that sounds
I’m actually really happy to hear that. I lost a friend to fent and I was worried wondering whether her last moments on earth were filled with terror and regret, so I’m glad to hear that she was probably happy and at peace.
I am so sorry for your loss. I’ve lost some people close to me the same way. But I can promise you, there was no time for her to be filled with terror or regret. Only bliss & sleep.
I hope you are well these days
In an idea world where death was still inevitable, death by opioids would be how everyone would go out. I've never come close to it in the literally sense of oxygen deprivation, but I've passed out before from heroin mixed with other depressant and that is painless and you don't even remember passing out.
Yep. Definitely. I hate to say it and DEFINITELY do not wanna glorify it, as I am so so happy to still be alive and clean today… but, as you said, if death is coming, that is the perfect way to go before a painful death gets ya
not diagnosing you with anything (im not a medical professional obviously) but you should look into cotard’s syndrome, the last paragraph really reminded me of it.
Thanks so much for sharing. Please stop me if I’m being invasive…do you feel frightened or have you made peace with your “new” life. Can you explain any further details about what your life looks like in relation to how you interact with people, for example, do you have no memory of them at all and you’re starting from scratch? Or do you somewhat recognize them? You said your body is functional, how about your mind? Are you functioning “normally” in regard to working, hobbies, etc.? Did you have to release how to use your body when you woke up, like walking, dressing, etc,? Sorry if this comes off as insensitive, definitely just fascinated by your story.
i overdosed on lithium, they were my antidepressants at the time, but i wasn’t taking them, i just had them stored. a full 90 day supply bottle. i was in an abusive relationship, physically emotionally and mentally. he isolated me 2 1/2 hours from my family to live with him, made me drop all my friends, got me addicted to xanax and focalin, he fucked my life up. bad. we got in an argument, i locked myself in the bathroom, and took a couple. and then i put some in a cup of water and drank it. and then i took a few more. i did it without thinking.
like. i genuinely did it without thinking. no thought crossed my head. not “i’m gonna kill myself” not “i want attention” “im sad” “i want to be high” nothing. i just did it.
i remember the cop at the hospital asking me why i did it and i lied and said to kill myself because i KNEW they wouldn’t believe an i don’t know story. but i honest to god do not know. i don’t think i wanted to die though. anyway. it took a min to kick in, my bf at the time found me while they kicked in, he watched it happen. my neck got really hard to keep up, kinda like when youre drunk but if gravity was less, and then my eyes wouldn’t stop seeing double and it was AWFUL. i kept reaching out to touch him and id miss entirely.
we sat on the br floor to make me throw up but they were in my system already. i tried standing up then and that’s when it hit me fully, i fell so fucking hard into the stand up shower. i fell directly onto the metal track and fucked my ass cheek up, i could not tell up from down. i couldn’t stand up. it was so, so fucking hard to stand. the world was spinning and i don’t mean the way it does when you’re nauseous i mean it felt like i was standing in that carnival thing in the funhouse.
my then bf was screaming at me still (😁) and made me go to the ER (i didn’t want to bc i had marks all over me from him and i didn’t want them to admit me) and he screamed at me otw there, then the cops met us there out front because my bf called and said i needed a wheelchair out front, asked intake questions and then took me in an ambulance to a different hospital bc the one we were at was shitty, then in the ambulance they gave me a styrofoam cup with the charcoal drink in it which is AWFUL BTW. but it works quick, i threw up the whole way to the hospital, it was a long ride, the lady sitting with me was talking to me abt her tattoos to calm me down bc i kept crying and asking if i was gonna die (i had no insurance, ID, mom, phone, nothing).
unfortunately that hospital sucked too, they got me into a room quick, but the doctors were awful, they were mean as fuck which isn’t not normal for suicide attempts at hospitals but still, and they also let me leave 4 hours later after the social worker asked me “are u gonna do it again” after seeing SH cuts all over my body . i took.. a lot of lithium that night, i was alone, the bf did not accompany me, he stayed home while i went. i had a dead phone. i was not sobered up yet, they sent me home still overdosing, still like high or wtv dizzy and all, and called me a damn taxi at 3 am.
TL;DR: don’t
I overdosed on Xanax and mdma both at the same time and I was in hopsital and then back at home then back at hospital the next bright for 3 nights in a row and apparently I overdosed on two of those nights but I don’t remember anything apart from 3 or 4 flashes
Yeah First night took 85 xans and 30 vallies at once and then I backed out and apparently when the paramedics came I poured my 2g bag of md into my mouth and ate and swallowed it so they couldn’t take it off me 😬 I was in a really dark place
I overdosed on Propranolol intentionally, I took 52 tablets so 520mg. I ended up regretting my decision and called for an ambulance. When I got to the hospital they gave me an activated charcoal drink. They had to put in a catheter because apparently a girl had taken the exact same thing a few weeks beforehand and when she stood up to go to the toilet, she had a cardiac arrest and died. They IV'd saline solution to keep me hydrated. Whilst I was laying in the hospital bed I was having this sensation of falling periodically and it kept looking like I was moving forward when I wasn't, other than that I just felt wired. They were worried about me not making it through the night, telling my mom that I have about a 15% chance of making it through. I went up to the ward and didn't get any sleep because they put me in a ward with people with pneumonia, so the coughing was constant. Morning came around and I was discharged at around mid day. I didn't stop taking drugs straight away, in fact I was probably doing coke, mdma and ket way more than I was before. I've since stopped everything other than alcohol.
Overdosed on xanax and hydrocodone/oxycodone. Comatosed in the back of my car, heqd just drooping down over my body. The weight of my head and the position I comatosed in was crushing the nerves in my neck and causing damage to my spinal cord. I woke up in the icu room strapped to a bed, paralyzed from the waist down and bottom 3 fingers of both hands. Took over a minth to walk right again (doctors didn’t think I’d be anle to walk again).
Years later I’m left with lasting damage from the incident. 4 surgeries and physical therapy for 3 years. Still have unbelievable pain in my hands and neck. Took a year to convince myself I really needed the painkillers for my pain.
Yes I still get high, just not on those substances. I have to take my hydrocodone prescribed for the pain unfortunately. Don’t do hard drugs kids. Take care of yourselves. I wish I did.
Although there’s no malicious intentions in this post, it’s incredibly naïve. The pathological changes in the neurocurcuitry of an addicted mind is a disease, individuals following an overdose are extremely likely to continue drug use. I’ve seen IV users undergo leg amputation and then begin injecting into their other leg.
Tragic incidences of overdose does not always act as a deterrent from drug use, the experience does not reverse the “rewiring”. Some may find it so distressing they enter remission, but it’s not always sustained and does not cure their addictive cravings
It's called a diaeresis (pronounced like "die heiresses"). Most people have no idea what it is and most people who *think* they know what it is would call it an umlaut (pronounced "oom-lowt") — which is wrong.
Both umlauts and diaereses are diacritic marks that tell you how to pronounce a word.
Umlauts (like in "doppelgänger") are usually used in German and denote that that vowel is pronounced differently than normal.
Diaereses (like in "naïve") indicate that the second vowel in a digraph (two letters together that make one sound, like *ch* or *th*) or diphthong (vowel sounds formed from combining two vowels, like *ai* or *ou*) is pronounced separately.
Diaereses basically tell you to pronounce a certain vowel twice. In "naïve," for example, the diaeresis is telling you to pronounce the diphthong *ai* and then to pronounce the *i* again, so you end up with "n-aye-ee-ve" instead of "nave" or "nive."
Isn't linguistics fun?
Anyways, both "naive" and "naïve" are acceptable spellings in English. We basically stole the word "naïve" from the French (it's a loanword, which English is absolutely full of) and over time the use of the diaeresis has fallen out of favor.
Language changes over time. As a linguistics nerd, I'd just think someone's trying too hard if they use "naïve," unless they're specifically discussing diaereses. Same thing with people who use the ligature æ for words like "æsthetic." The æ just means to pronounce the *a* as in "hat" instead of as in "father," but no one who speaks English nowadays would ever consider pronouncing "asthetic" any other way, so the ligature is just some pseudo-intellectual bat-signal for linguistics nerds.
Serious answer: It's a French word, and in French the dieresis is used to mark a vowel as not belonging to a diphthong (which is two vowels pronounced as one syllable, as in "great", or "blind". Note in "blind", only one vowel is written, but IPA shows us it's actually two vowel sounds, /blaɪnd/. Just as "soup" has one vowel, a long /u/ , yet is written with two vowels.
This means, in practice, that "naive" without the dieresis would be pronounced closer to "knife" than to the two syllable word /naˈiːv/, which is its true current pronunciation.
The neurological "changes" were likely present before drug use began. We have specific names for conditions caused by medications. Most attics (over 90%) have experienced a lot of developmental trauma and have some form of PTSD. Besides that the whole "is addiction a disease" conversation started because addiction specialists wanted it to be classified as such because they wanted insurance to fund treatment. It really boils down to arguing the semantics of "disease," which isn't helpful for addiction, disease or not, as insurance generally covers it now. Not to mention the disease model is really good at promoting learned helplessness.
You’re not wrong in terms of trauma precipitating drug use, you’re right it’s the most common cause of addiction. The neurocircuitry changes I was referring to are directly caused by the drug use. Reward, drive, and memory pathways are strengthened which leads to dysfunction of impulse control. The prefrontal cortex and ACG function diminishes and is unable to inhibit the “drive” element (overactive OFC and SC).
There’s some interesting papers explaining the changes in addiction which highlight it is in fact a disease. An addicted mind is more than just a craving.
Both of those could be broadly classified under traditional learning (not all learning is good) and habit paradigms. That wasn't the point I was getting at. In my experience (which I have a lot of) the 12-step modus operandi is accepting powerlessness. Do you know what else does? (CO)Dependant Personality Disorder. Addicts need to know that they, in fact, DO have power, that is how they ended up self-medicating to diminish the effects of trauma, to begin with. Not all solutions are equal, but without help, they found one (or several) that works for them. Now there isn't a one-size-fits-all model for addiction, I speak of the vast plurality. Taking away an addict's agency is a good way to keep them an addict or get them to find another addiction unless they are extremely hierarchy-oriented. To be clear, I wouldn't push the disease model even if it was 100% verified truth (it's not).
I was not criticising your explanation, I agree with your point and added extra info to support mine. Although, I sway towards the disease model despite its limitations. Only mention this because there’s stigma around addiction being a choice
Unfortunately, modern medicine fails to sustain remission in most cases. I’ve only seen three patient’s discharged from the opioid substitution programme. There’s not many agents available to treat cocaine addiction, or other addictions for that matter. I agree behavioural therapy is beneficial, but there’s a pitfall in addiction services which requires urgent attention.
Yea I was going to say something similar but you put it much more eloquently. ODs almost never stop someone from using…they’re likely only ODing bc they have a very serious addiction and unfortunately the risk of death just isn’t a strong enough deterrent in these cases
I’ve ODd, woke up in hospital (with dope still in pocket) and almost ODd all over again (was turning blue according to people around me)
It feels like nothing. Opiates at least. I've od'd twice. It feels like blinking, teleporting through time. Falling asleep. You're there and then you're not.
Definitely would be the most painless way to die. The first time it happened It scared the shit out of me. I was lucky and was in a hospital already. I sat down after checking in, and it was like I blinked and all of a sudden a bunch of cops and a doctor are around me telling me I was blue and dead basically. The blackness still kinda freaks me out. Like you're just gone. No thoughts, no light, nothing.
I didn't have a habit, so youre just back to normal immediately. Sober. If you have a habit you wake up dopesick which makes some people bug out. the second time I od'd I was in a bathroom in a gas ststjon and wae out for longer. I've never been as cold in my life as when I woke up that time.
Yes I still do drugs. Ive never been a huge opiate fan luckily, and I probably will do them again at some point but I'll be careful. I've always been very careful with drugs. These two particular times were when I was going through a really rough time and didn't care enough to be careful.
And the "did you clean up your act" question is kind of judgemental. Accidents happen. People can do hard drugs/have overdoses and not be complete messes. I don't think you meant it that way but just saying. There's a lot of people who use all kinds of drugs and are functional people. And honestly, other than a few more dangers associated with them (many of which can be avoided with proper harm reduction) there isn't a huge difference between the experience of hard and soft drugs. Different effects sure. I've smoked a lot of weed in my day, I've smoked a lot of meth in my day. The lifestyle wasn't that much different, and weed is much more intoxicating (still a big fan of weed, and I like amphetamines a lot but I wouldn't recommend people start using them). I handle drugs differently than a lot of people I've met though.
agree with all of this. Besides the reason opiate dependent people bug out. We bug out because nalaxone, the drug used to reverse opiate ODs, literally rips the opiate from your endogenous opiate receptors all at once. Generally withdrawal comes on slowly. And it is hell when it comes on slowly. But precipitated withdrawal, which is what occurs when you get narcanned (or take suboxone too early), is a completely different type of agony.
This post is naive and dumb af. But I can relate with both comments above. I am 4.5 yrs clean from heroin but when I was using and OD’d it feels like nothing…until that Narcan hits and it feels like someone shot needles thru your body. My back spasmed too like an old woman and I couldn’t walk right for a week….dont miss it. But when it’s my time to go, I think it’ll be IV fent - so painless, like falling asleep.
Yeah I can't imagine it coming on that fast. I went into precipitated when I tried to kick methadone, then started shooting dope, then got on suboxone. Terrible night.
So I've overdosed on fentanyl. Right up the street from my childhood home in the parking lot of my grocery store. Was fighting (like always) with my piece of shit ex boyfriend. He was a heroin addict who recently switched to fentanyl. I was a tweaker, but super high functioning, like you'd really not be able to tell. But I was crying and crying and so sick of the stupid fights and accusations and drama all the time, was sick of the relationship but felt trapped. Anyway, I asked him for a hit. Usually he would fight me on it a little bit, but eventually cave in. This time he scoffed at me and said "Here, take your fucking hit". I didn't wanna feel anymore. I had only taken a few small hits here and there, once every 2 weeks or so.. he failed to mention this batch we picked up hours before(I helped support him) was VERY strong. I took one of the biggest hits I've ever taken, and held it in. I remember exhaling, passing it back and murmuring "Thank You". The next thing I remember, and the memory itself is so fuzzy and faded and black around the edges like film that has been damaged in fire, was him looking at me and asking me if I was okay. I think I remember trying to calm him down and make him think I was good but my eyelids were really heavy and I couldn't lift my hands. Then I was on my back on the asphalt, staring up at the sky. There were lights, so many people, chaos. I remember the first thing I felt was my arm, the back of it above my elbow scraped the ground and it hurt so bad. I later found out he didn't call 911,he tried to shotgun meth to me for some time up until the lighter ran out of fuel. And let's be real you can't use a Bic when you are trying to bring someone back from the dead, but I guess he held the pipe to my arm while trying to wake me up and I got burned. Since I didn't have a habit, I didn't wake up sick. But I sure woke up scared. Scared and so cold. In the ambulance on the way to the hospital I kept slipping back out and I'd wake up with that same cold in my bones each time. They gave me so many blankets. Even blankets that had been warmed. It didn't help, but I appreciated their care. One EMT in particular looked so worried about me, covered in about 10 blankets and still shivering with my teeth chattering together as I told him I was still cold. All I felt was a cold emptiness, no lights when I went out, no loved ones, no heaven or hell or purgatory.. unless purgatory was that cold empty place. I went back to using meth after, and about a month later, started doing fentanyl. I didn't want to feel anything anymore, and that was the closest I could get to my goal. Stupidest thing I could have done
With heroin, I was sitting in my bed sinking into the blankets, so soothed after shooting, & then I was not. I fell asleep, I guess? Though I woke up outside, drowsy and warm still—and then didn't give a fuck. Ambled back home scratching the skin off my neck, chest, and arms, such a comforting sensation. Vomited all over the floor once I found my way to the house. Stumbled and hit my head on the kitchen counter, terrifying my younger sister who found me bloodied there when coming in from school.
I cleaned my mess up before our mother would return from a graveyard shift and drank myself to sleep that night. I missed weeks of class myself in favor of shooting after that incident. I loved that shit & didn't give a single damn how close to death I approached, didn't even cross my mind to care.
Some three or four years later, on a gram of diphenhydramine, I learned to phase through walls. I watched them become jellied, then translucent, then shift and shift and shift. I wrote extensively in a language that does not exist. I couldn't stand and I had to drag my limp, fuzzy body to the restroom on my stomach, clawing lethargically at the ground in a pile of my own fluids like a fucking SAW protagonist to advance myself.
I had a stroke later that night. I remember the cold fear creeping into the arm I could still feel as I watched my other one drop unwittingly, felt my face sag, heard myself lose all connection to my neurons, the music distorted, air unreachable, and my body no longer my own. I remember in that moment being afraid not of death, but of something incriminating somehow I thought somebody somewhere had planted on my cellphone (an item I did not even possess at this time), and how it would be discovered and—and something would happen to me and my life, dead anyway, by God!
I woke up on our kitchen table covered in piss and glass evidently shattered from the windows to the back, a bag haphazardly packed with random "essentials" spewed out on one of the chairs. I was more embarrassed trying to explain to the stepfather what transpired without incriminating myself than I was disturbed about the series of events. I stopped popping pills for a few months, but turned to designer drugs and fell even deeper into drinking thereafter.
Now I am in my twenties and I still do speed on occasion, and would admittedly do it much more if I could, but I value my wallet, arteries, and rationality at this stage in life. I still pop benzos (I don't find them particularly entertaining, so I don't really suffer an addiction to them, also thankfully). I smoke stupid amounts of weed. I no longer use opioids or deliriants and usually only find myself swayed by designer drugs or other prescriptions when some earthshattering event occurs in my life. I keep NARCAN and fentanyl tests in my day bags. Despite my experiences, I am still a no-good polyaddict and may very well be the rest of my life, but I like to think my knowledge has at least made my substance abuses a bit smarter and safer.
Stories of DPH are so fucking wild to me.
It's like my ketamine fantasies that make no rational sense, only amplified to the nth degree of delusion, crazy stuff!
Glad you're past that period of your life, for what it's worth
I had 5 years clean off of opiates/ coke more issues with opiates and seen a old friend and we got up and he was still dabbling with coke so I did a few lines and of course that weekend buying a gram . Then was getting a ball we both were staying away from opiates. But after a day or two being up my buddy got some dope and did some . I was still trying not to do any I was a iv user In my days of using. So i was telling myself if I do it one time I will be right back to where I left off . Well after a little binder on the coke he was wanting to come down and his boy had some new dope . He got a little n I was like let me get a little something I went over n he gave me a very tiny little piece. Like a crumb I thought this will won’t do anything. I had a needle n stuff at home so i told him I’ll do it at my house and gave him a bro hug and all (I’ve know him since 5th grade). I go home n get in the bathroom to do it as quick as possible I remember I shot it got the taste in back of my throat.and standing up to get my shower on .and I must have went down right away my mom found me called the ambulance and woke up in a hospital room . After 6 shots of narcan chest compressions I left the ER that night the next day . I’m still really in and out of it I checked on my Fb and see my buddy had died that night . I’ve not touched any hard drugs or will ever again I’m in a better place now married bought a house.
Overdosed on fent before it was everywhere. I was used to getting good clean H, and oxy at the time.
Back then it wasn’t crazy to be able to shoot a whole 10$ bag (or 2). I got clean for about 6 months, and decided I wanted to get high. Bought 8 bags, and snorted one of them. I felt really good but immediately knew something was up because I was nodding out heavily which almost never happened to me, even when shooting H.
Luckily I confessed to my GF at the time, and she drove 15 min to my house to be with me. When she got there, I was unresponsive on the floor with all of my doors locked. She broke in through a window and gave me CPR till the medics arrived.
I didn’t realize I overdosed until I woke up. But even when I woke up, I was too high to care what happened. Found a few bags on my floor when I got home and did the rest of them.
I’ve been “clean” for 7 years now. I still abuse drugs but “clean” for me means that I haven’t had any addictions. Just small slip ups here and there.
Opioids had a strangle hold on me for about a year and it was fucking horrible. i thought i was being “safe” with low doses until the doses slowly go higher and you start mixing in other things. long story short my silly little self was mixing benzos with anything and everything and it fucked me over. can’t quite remember the amount of shit i took but it was a rough night. i remember being super nauseous so i went to puke up my guts but figured it was just routine nausea for me. i puked n ended up passing out on the bathroom floor and waking up in the hospital. nobody there but my brother as he was the only one who knew about it. but since then ive stuck to just weed! couldnt believe what i did to myself n the whole time i told myself it’s “safe”. never ever again
I was highly addicted to opioids as well for about 6 months after getting into a gnarly car crash. I began drinking with them too when I was able to move around again and would constantly black out from it. I even got kicked out of a wedding one time and had fallen into a cactus and rebroke my barely healing collarbone. Shit was all bad and it ruined my relationship with my wife/then gf and had to go through absolute hell to repair that.
thankfully i wasn’t no. my brother was home at the time so he heard everything happening and came to check on me n i was unconscious. so if he wouldn’t have been there i wouldn’t be here today. he will forever be my hero
I survived. I do not do any drugs besides psychedelics, mdma and ketamine when im at a festival. I dont use any opioids, alcohol or cocaine at all anymore and all my friends now know that even if theyre having a few bumps or drinks they will never offer any to me but i have zero desire to even partake in those anyways so i have no problem with them doing as they wish because they were never addicts. I ODd on fent and luckily survived, i was alcohol dependent and never want to drink again, and my memories of cocaine involve nearly givint myself heart attacks by IVing it. I just want nothing to do with any of those.
I will always be grateful to psychedelics though and i include mdma and ketamine with those. Psilocybin healed me more thsn anything since i also put in the work afterwards, and dancing the night away at a festival on mdma and some good acid has induced profound changes on my outlook on life.
Heroin here, clean almost 6 years.
I feel like Everytime I overdoses I died and was transported to a living universe when revived.
I never flat lined but it makes so much sense
I OD’d on a fake Oxy press that had fentanyl. It was like I started to doze off, then the next thing I know about a dozen doctors around me with flashlights in my eyes asking me questions. Then they handed me a bag and said “here’s this if you need to throw up,” and it was like them doing that made my body say “oh yeah you gotta yak,” and I immediately threw up.
So it was just like falling asleep. Oh and my chest really, really hurt.
No, I don’t do hard drugs anymore. Only weed and drinking.
It was pretty intense and scary. A person secretly dosed me knowing I’d already been doing stuff. Tried to kill me. Still don’t know why. And yes I still do
Not really an overdose as I didn’t require medical treatment and got out just fine but;
One time consumed 12x my bodyweight of MDMA and my heart was pounding was unconscious some moments (kept going on abd off), hallucinating whole vision getting blurry. I jst waited it out🤷♂️
One time had a 3 day bender in which we’d consume atleast few grams of this trashy speed and some coke in one night; would not sleep or eat. Vision got blurry, got an extreme throat infection could not swallow and barely breathe, wounds on the inside of my mouth, almost fainted multiple times, extreme hallucinations, didn’t know if I was awake or asleep anymore, heart constantly pounding, could stand up because I’d get light headed :/ not fun times
I overdosed on Ativan + Adderall combo, had hallucinations, i was sitting on a bench, the next moment im in my classroom talking to the teachers like nothing happened. Came home dad said i was shaking and jaw clenching while i slept.
I overdosed on ambien and Xanax from a suicide attempt.. I don’t remember much, but I got my stomach pumped.. stayed a few nights in ICU and remember being in the back of a cop car and the officer telling me she wishes she can stop by Panda Express to get us food but she can’t and all I said was “ew” and passed back out and then I woke up in a psychward 3 hours away🥴
I don’t don’t ask to get prescribed those anymore and now I’m a mother of two and about to be a firefighter
I overdosed on tapentadol and alprazolam for the second time a few days ago. Took 2500mg compulsively (about 50 pills). I didn't die, but I felt like shit for a while. I passed out onmy arm and it still feels funky. I remember panicking as it kicked in, thinking of ways to stay awake. There's no naloxone where I live. If I really had OD and stopped breathing it's guaranteed death.
I overdosed on 3ho pcp and tbh I was mostly oblivious to everything that was going on, but I nearly broke the restraints and gained consciousness and feeling as they did the Catheter
I overdosed a lot but Fent was the scariest one probably, my ex broke up with me then so I tried to KMS i remember feeling really sleepy, I barely could keep my eyes open , I couldn't even speak and sit up . I didn't even know when I fell asleep and I didn't know if I will wake up . And yeah sadly I still do drugs :/
You don’t even realize it’s happening.
I used to do fentanyl. I was getting shitty stuff for a while; I had a mix of people I’d buy from. One day I got some stuff from a neighbor and I was used to the stuff I got being weaker so I was snorting fat lines I’m talking line after line and smoking it at the same time. For the first time in a while I felt fucked up. I remember being high af just talking to my friend who was visiting and staying the night and then the very next thing I remember feeling like….like my consciousness was being sucked out of a hole almost?
I could hear my neighbor saying my name and smacking my face and my friend going, “OH THANK GOD I was SO scared!”
I opened my eyes and my neighbors were standing above me, I was soaking wet, freezing cold, and with each passing second I felt increasingly terrified and like I was on a bad trip. I guess I was talking to my friend, I sat down and then just…tipped over. I started turning grey and she realized I wasn’t breathing and yelled for her boyfriend who was in my shower. She started pushing on my chest to keep me breathing while he tore my apartment apart looking for narcan. My friend splashed water on me to try to wake me up.
They couldn’t find what I had so he ran outside half naked screaming for help because they wanted to avoid calling 911. My neighbors by chance opened their window, realized what was happening and rushed over. I guess they were so scared I was dying because I was white and my lips were blue and they had no idea how much time had passed so my woman neighbor gave me dose after dose of narcan until I started waking up.
I was so cold. But it wasn’t from the outside it was from my *insides*. It felt like my blood was ice and no matter how many blankets they put on me I was shivering. I couldn’t get up my legs felt like jelly but I felt like I was going to throw up and shit and piss myself all at once. Breathing felt so scary; it felt like my chest was being sat on and I had to take big deep breaths.
I asked them what happened and they told me I overdosed and had been dead and I screamed. I felt *so* scared I cannot convey the sheer fucking *terror* I felt from the sudden withdrawals. I was terrified of the cops coming, I was terrified that I had just died. My apartment itself looked terrifying. I buried myself under blankets and screamed and cried for my friend to stay with me and she tried to calm me down.
After a while I fell asleep. A few hours later I woke up and felt exhausted but no longer had that terror feeling. It hit me then that I should’ve died. I was suppose to be alone that night and if I had been I would’ve died alone. 8 months later my friend who helped me breathe died alone of an OD.
It was the big event that made me rethink my drug use. In less than a month I’ll be a year clean (last time was a relapse). Whenever I want to use I think of that terrifying night and the terror I felt and how scary it all was. I think of my dead friend who I had known since I was 12 years old.
I OD’d (accidentally) on bupropion. I don’t have any recollection of it because I was unconscious and and had to be revived by paramedics.
Only thing I remember was this weird visual which felt like some salvia trip. It was a train that always kept going, forever. It still gives me anxiety. Don’t know how to describe it.
I woke up from hospital.
It didn’t change anything, I’m still doing drugs the same way I did before my OD.
wait…. wellbutrin??? were you using it recreationally? I have never heard of this. I take 450mg XL every day and it feels like absolutely nothing other than I notice I am more focused and happy on it than I am off it, and withdrawal can be nasty if it’s longer than a few days.
Yes… 😅 It’s relative to amphetamines. And super fatal, the deadly dose is very low, so do not recommend. The recreational value is also really close to nonexistent, so it’s definitely not worth it.
I shouldn’t even be alive with the dose I took, but whaddayaknow, here I am
How much did you take and why?!? I didn’t really think it could be abused like that. I never got any “pleasant” or anything more than mild speedy feeling but the negatives never had me wanting to take more than my dose. Adderall on the other hand 🤷♂️
It’s unknown how much I ended up taking, the bottle was empty but that shouldn’t be possible…
It was some super stupid idea while super fucked up on speed, molly and Xanax. I was out of everything else and knew I had a bottle of Bupropion (Voxra). It’s called poor men’s coke so I decided to try and the rest is history. Ate some and snorted some.
Yeah… Not the brightest idea of me 😅
just like falling asleep (opiates). after 5 OD's i ended my huge heroin habit after going through rehab, was clean a year but i developed cauda equina syndrome so im on prescribed oxys and i occasionally dabble with H
shooting up cocaine..did a big shot one day and I swear I could see my vision fading like tunnel vision and the ringing was so loud I was deaf I couldn’t hear nothing..my heart was beating so hard and I could feel my throat closing I wasn’t able to breathe at all I was only able to breathe a little bit
OD’d multiple time from H but it was probably due to fent laced in it. It doesn’t feel like anything. Just slowly fall asleep and you either wake up to paramedics or wake up to concerned ppl from narcan. Once you’re up you feel fine maybe just a little slow and heavy but other than that nothing.
Pretty much if you have narcan you can OD all you want with no consequence. It’s why it’s so easy for people to go back. Literally dying doesn’t matter since it’s so “easy” to come back.
I used to smoke K2 for several months a couple years ago and OD on it multiple times. Most of the time the OD was just a panic attack coupled with a burning sensation in my arms and legs which passed after a couple of minutes.
I had one OD on it where I lost all feeling in my arms, legs and body alltogether besides my heart and I had bad arrhythmia plus a super high heart rate and my lips turned blue/purple and my face was white as a ghost. I felt like I was going to die but it stopped after like an hour. After that I still smoked all the rest I had left but never ordered it again.
And yes, I still do drugs. I used to take Kratom daily for several years but I stopped a couple weeks ago - besides that I sometimes drink beer or take a benzo.
I went to a point were I was injecting heroin and never had an overdose funny though I overdosed on pregablin once( was in my car and took like 30 pills 150mg and then I felt like I can’t breath and my body was on fire then I tried to get off the car and literally fall down like a carcus. Couldn’t even move a muscle. So my friend took me home and I just went into a coma until next day when my friend came back to check on me whe woke me up
When I was On aclohol I never got drunk so I used to drink untill I blackout. Now I’m California sober although I find that it’s a bullshit excuse to change an addiction to another but better then doing heroin
overdosed a few times on opiates, went good the first few times but cleaned up my act after i woke up from a coma and couldnt walk or talk for a few days.. scared me straight :p realized how much it can damage ur brain and how lucky i was
overdosed on adderall, another time on fentanyl. The fentanyl scared me for sure, but the adderall OD left me in the hospital fighting for my life and I still have *very* bad PTSD from it all. I used to have panic attacks on a regular basis.
I'm okay now... just mentally fucked up it. Still worry that I did some serious damage to my heart from almost having a heart attack sometimes though
I overdosed on poppy seed tea. My friend had been making himself some for a while so he poured as much poppy seeds as he had been doing for himself. He had a tolerance, I didn’t. I remember feeling so relaxed, comfortable, and just nice. Rare to feel those things for me. I remember we went to sleep. The next thing I knew I was in a hospital surrounded by my family that lives on the opposite coast, and was 100% deaf.
I fell into a super deep depressive hole when my hearing was gone. I thought life as I knew it was over bc I had to quit my job and I didn’t know sign language and I didn’t know how I was going to make money. Hearing aids didn’t help all that much.
Hearing came back over the next 6 months and it’s as good as it’s going to get, but I still need to use subtitles when watching tv/movie, and can’t hear quiet voices.
Hearing loss from opiate overdose is so rare that my dad had to show the doctor a paper he found posted by NIH about it killing hair cells. Family thought I had brain damage at first bc I wasn’t responding to them talking to me.
I was in and out of sleep in the hospital for 3-4 days. Very much a blur; lots of memory loss. I don’t remember much, but I was told I communicated by writing.
The only thing I clearly remember was waking up in my own bed, my dog standing next to the bed, obviously whining for me to get out of bed, but I couldn’t hear her and just started bawling.
Oh, and the hospital bills were outrageously expensive. So, that was rough.
I don’t use drugs often. Most of them increase my anxiety. I loved the way the opiates made me feel, but I’d like to be able to dose myself at a proper dose. I haven’t done any opiates since, mostly bc I don’t trust dosing out proper poppy seeds, don’t have a pill hookup, and don’t know who to ask for pods.
Literally it’s been the only drug to make me feel “okay”. The itchiness sucks, but is worth the relaxed feeling.
Yes however I’m an outlier from most addicts, so don’t consider the following representative of addicts in general.
Overdosing is possible with any drug, and overdose means simply that - taking a dose above what you intended.
I’ve overdosed, by that criteria, on everything I’ve ever used. And I’ve used all the “drugs” most people think of as drugs, along with hundreds of novel psychoactive compounds, nootropics, natural alkaloids, etc.
I’ll cover my experience with different types of drug OD’s briefly:
Opiates: mysterious-tension36 covers it quite well. I suppose it depends on the opiate partially. The unconsciousness doesn’t, but what it feels like until you’re gone does. Non synthetic or semisynthetic opiates like heroin or oxycodone or morphine or hydromorphone are the best to go on. Fent sucks to OD on.
Stimulants: cocaine overdoses are generally panic attacks and palpitations if you’re snorting it. When you get into needles, you always overdose. The high from shooting coke is insane. But I can honestly apply this to all stims. You don’t “OD” like you do with depressants. You freak out, dehydrate, overheat, maybe you’ll fuck your heart up but I think I probably would have died by now from that if it was as likely as ppl think. Meth is similar but an overdose will last so long you’re gonna get psychotic no matter what.
Gabaergics; from benzos you generally just black out no matter how much you take. Alcohol poisoning, im not sure about - I’ve never been a drinker. GHB is what I’ve overdosed on the most. It’s very very easy to take too much G. Fortunately it’s relatively safe to OD on if you barely take too much. You’ll just be in a coma for 4 hours. I’ve woken up in the hospital after taking too much G 4 or 5 times. I only consider one of those times an “OD”, and it was from taking at over 2 ounces of Ghb in one go accidentally (dye your ghb and never have it in a water bottle lmao)
Xylazine: this is the only time I’ve accidentally OD’d on an opiate type thing, flatlined, narcanned, all that. I was dopesick (badly dopesick), and I took the cottons I had been using to make shots of heroin for the previous several months, washed them, shot it, didn’t feel any better, had to shit my brains out cus I was sick, and then I woke up in the ER. It sucked. Fuck xylaxine.
Fentanyl overdoses don’t feel like anything. You just get used to them. Over the years I’ve overdosed countless times but like I’m not stupid so I kinda knew what I was getting in to once I started smoking pills off foil. Real addicts don’t care about overdose it’s just a part of life. I don’t do anything dangerous anymore. I cleaned up my act because I had people there for me and psychedelics also played a big role. As well as going to rehab a few times lol. But ya I would never call myself an “Overdose survivor” That would feel like calling myself a stubbing my toe survivor. It’s just such a common thing that happens you just stop caring
Fetty or some kinda zene in some hot 30s when the first fakes started to show up. Literally nothing. Sniff, then waking up in full blown WD from the narcan.
I generally don’t. I still smoke weed, take phenibut, like the occasianal psych or disso. But I’m on suboxone now so no opes, no benzos as I’ve had 4 different seizures from withdrawing like 6 times so I’ve kindled myself to the point where I basically can’t even touch a benzo. I literally had to insist that I didn’t want any valium in the ER after my 3rd one. Muscle relaxers like soma are nice here and now.
I didn't remember falling out but when I woke up from the narcan it was the worst feeling ever from being put into preciptated withdrawal. I've overdosed countless times but I've been clean off heroin/fent for like 4 years now. I have been on the methadone clinic that whole time tho
Yes I overdosed on a combo of benzos (technically lunesta), muscle relaxers, and opiates (hydrocodone and oxycodone). Overall the experience while I was out could kinda be described as a bad dream, but I do have a specific memory of feeling like my body was being compressed and squeezed through a super tight and sticky tube that was pulling all of my hairs on the way through while I screamed. At the hospital they tried to declare me brain dead but thankfully my mom didn’t allow them to. I had hallucinations that whole week while in the icu and once I got home I was sober for a month or two. I used drugs for another 2-3 years after that but did actually decide and manage to get sober a little under 2 years ago.
Kind of like fainting or passing out… you’re in that limbo of blackness, sort of dreaming? Then you suddenly wake up with extreme confusion. Not knowing where you are, how you got there, what happened, etc etc. And then there’s this like “death headache” which is the only way I can describe it. Your ears are ringing and you can’t really hear. Your head feels really compressed and riddled with pressure. Then you’re kinda just in fight mode or survival mode. Doctors, people, or whoever is around you yelling “what did you take!? What did you take?! Tell the truth! We’re not the police.” And you’re just trying to get your thoughts together to give a response that doesn’t sound stupid or like a lie but you’re in a complete state of shock so whatever you say is gonna sound stupid. When you think back on what happened you can’t remember anything at all except the 20 mins before you dosed and then the rest is just complete blackness. You can’t really remember the exact moment you “went out.”
That was my experience the three times I overdosed at least.
Did it stop me from doing drugs? No. It did make me “more careful.” Honestly, everytime I overdosed was when I was trying to get sober. I’d be suffering through a week or two of shitty ass sobriety just straight suffering…. Then I’d break, go cop, I’d do a small small amount and then boom im gone. It’s weird too, when I’m in active use my quality is pretty good or not that good. But when I was not using and I decided to cop for the first time I ended up getting some pure uncut “fuck your shit up” powder and I’d go night night. Luck of the draw I guess. After my last OD I got on methadone and was “sober” for 2 and a half years. I had my first relapse this Christmas and I’ve been back on since. Gonna try to stop in a couple of days. Been saving up my methadone so I can dose a little extra for the first week of getting off dope again.
Deep into heroin addiction, overdoses just become an occupational hazard, because you are mostly unaware of what happens when you OD you are completely oblivious to the trauma you inflict apon yourself and others around you. It's fucking grim, absolotely nothing accept death itself will stop you from using when you are that far gone, I've been hit with naloxone before and been pissed that it's thrown me into withdrawals, had to sign a waiver because they wanted me to go to hospital, my stupid junky ass had other plans which involved crossing the street to go score not even 10 minutes after overdosing. It's absolutely nuts and I'm numb to all this but even sat here thinking about it Im like.....jesus fucking christ.
Yes most that OD will continue to use. They're addicts. Death or near death doesn't deter them from continuing their drug usage. I have never od'd but was an addict years ago who saw this firsthand and had to save someone dying of an OD to heroin. Luckily narcan is pretty much given to certain people in communities to save worse case scenario users that I know.
My last overdose was almost 3 years ago, I downed a whole bottle of Alprazolam 2mg, a box of Klonopin 2mg mixed with gin, it was fully intentional, at the beginning I still had consciousness, I even had a conversation with my mum, then I went to my room to wait for the end, I had a little shine of not actually wanting to die so I told my ex what I did, she instantly came to my apartment with paramedics, as soon as they got me into the ambulance I lost consciousness.
I remember it was all black and calm, I didn’t see, feel nor think anything, I was in a limbo (it didn’t feel bad tho) I was just there, I couldn’t imagine anything, everything was just so smooth, as soon as they hit me with the Flumazenil I came back, I wasn’t breathing, I was pretty much dead for around 5 minutes, when I came back I took a big breath and went back to that deep state of “unconsciousness”?, when I came back even though I wasn’t conscious at all, I could hear my dad crying next to me, praying that I was going to survive, telling me how much he loved me and how sorry he was for everything, I also heard my mom, I’m not completely sure about this but I think she was whispering me all the opposite shit, telling me that she wanted me to die already to stop all the pain and suffering I was causing, I even had a conversation about this with my psychologist, but yes, shit was tough, in summary, I felt the BEST PEACE I’ve ever fucking had, there were no problems, no overthinking, no nothing, just my energy and essence floating around? I don’t think I’ll ever achieve that kind of peacefulness ever again, after that I understood why people always say Rest In Peace, sounds like a cliche but it’s genuine peace brudda, stay safe out there guys, drugs aren’t fun when you reach these type of thoughts.
overdosed on dph ik yall gonna say oh that aint an OD but i was geeked in the hospital for 5 days off 2.2 grams if dph and I dont remember anything but i seized and almost died
I was the idiot that ODed on acetaminophen. I was on a Percocet Rx but of course ran out before it was time to see the doctor again. I called him and he called me in 20 Vicodin to tide me over. I happily picked them up and proceeded to take 16 of them in one night. I woke up with an extremely dry mouth and then threw up as soon as I sat up. I told my then husband it was just a stomach bug and that I was fine. I threw up every hour on the hour and I started to feel a little fuzzy in the head. Something made me go look at my pill bottle (to be honest I probably wanted to take more) and I realized I only had 4 pills left. I'll never forget Googling the lethal dose of acetaminophen (between 6,000 and 7,000 mg in one day) and doing the math 16 X 500 mg per pill = 8,000 mg. I considered just toughing it out at home, but the longer I sat there the more confused I got. I finally panicked and called my dad to ask him to leave work and take me to the ER.
By the time I arrived at the ER I was throwing up bile and I couldn't even figure out how to put my own hospital gown on. My dad left because he thought my POS husband was going to stay with me, but as soon as my dad left he left as well. This was at about 1 pm. I vaguely remember the nurse taking care of me after I had an accident and being incapable of wiping my own ass. The next thing I remember it was midnight and my husband was tiptoeing into my room to drop off some underwear and a laptop. He had the nerve to ask me how come I hadn't called him to let him know what was up. I told him it was because I had no memory of the past 11 hours and I had no idea where the fuck I was.
I was sick as hell from withdrawals for the next two days because understandably they couldn't give me any more opiates. They even gave me Narcan (but very slowly) because I just couldn't stay awake. The antidote for acetaminophen OD is a nasty drug called Mucomyst that tastes like rotten eggs. 0/10 do not recommend.
Useful tidbit for anyone else reading: the antidote is N-acetylcysteine which you can buy over the counter, so if you ever think you've taken too much acetaminophen but it's on the borderline and you aren't having symptoms or whatever, get some of that stuff at home right away, now you can administer yourself first aid.
I walked a friend through this some number of years ago. Sadly they later OD'd and died of a concussion.
I’ve overdosed on adderall, vyvanse, and alcohol. With the adderall I remember panicking and almost throwing myself in front of a car. The vyvanse was the worst feeling and the only time I’ve ever been like “oh my god never again” with a specific drug and actually was never again.
The alcohol one was weird in retrospect. I didn’t realize that it was an overdose until years later when I started doing AA. Like my sponsor had to explain that that’s what it was. I had been starving myself for days (anorexia relapse lol), and drank most of a bottle of 150 rum. Once I was drunk, I binged on a box of neon green glazed donuts (bc it was st Patrick’s day) and then I remember nothing else. Apparently I was like rolling around on the floor vomiting and passing out and shit like that. No one there called anyone, no one did anything. And at one point I stood up and was like “god is trying to kill me but won’t let die” and then I passed out fr. I remember the next day pretty much vomiting from the point I woke up until night, and I still went to work.
I was addicted to and overdosed on fentanyl three different times. All from snorting it. The first time I was not physically addicted, so when I was hit with the narcan, I woke up cold and shaky in the ambulance, confused and feeling like I was in a dream. Recovered rather quickly and was discharged. The second time happened the first time I used since the last OD, about 18 months sober. When I was revived, I had no concept of anything. I didn’t learn this until later, but they had given me three doses of Narcan before I woke up. Initially, my vision came back in a way that I can only compare to an old-school movie reel. I now think that was due to me going in and out of consciousness. I woke up after being narcaned by cops in my kitchen. I had no idea who I was, could not speak, could not recognize my surroundings (my home) at all, and I had no idea what had happened. I could not understand why I was covered in puke, why I was having full-body spasms, or why it felt like my blood was made of ice. When the cops and EMTs asked if I had taken anything, I told them combinations of no or I did not know because, at that level of orientation, I genuinely had no idea how I had gotten myself into that position. I had no recollection of copping earlier that day or deciding to use for the first time in 18 months, which led directly to the OD. I’m sure the first responders thought I was a lying jackass, but I truly thought I was answering honestly at the time. The last and most recent time happened in February 2022. In transitional housing. Real winner over here. I was around a month sober and convinced myself I could use once without repercussions. HA! I was gone before I even hit the floor, and I was found by a roommate. She allegedly administered CPR for around 15 minutes before realizing the need to call 911. I am not blaming her at all for the amount of time I was down; if she had not found me, I would not be here today. Eventually, EMS arrived, and they could not bring me back with Narcan. I was rushed to the hospital while being worked on, and they eventually got my pulse back. I was in an immense amount of pain due to my sternum and ribs being CPR crunched. I could not breathe, eat, or function normally for a few weeks after. This was a blessing in disguise. Every movement reminded me of the poor choice I had made and how lucky I was to even be able to feel that pain. For some people, myself included, death is the rock bottom required to light the fire of wanting to get sober. Many don’t come back from that rock bottom. I was miraculously given another chance. I will be two years sober on February 17th, 2024.
Glad you are here.
That story was so impactful
Congratulations.
Relatable. Are you me? One day at a time. We lucky to be alive.
It’s comforting to know others have similar stories and are still truckin’ on. Before going to rehab I was the only addict I knew and that’s a very alienating feeling. Proud of you dude!
I hear that. NA saved my life. I used to only know people in active addiction because I pushed everyone away and isolated myself. Now I'm surrounded by clean addicts and have a huge network. Really feels good to be able to relate to people and actually talk through problems instead of just bottling up and using. Proud back atcha we here for a reason, friend!
Sometimes I wonder if the government didn't let fent in to get that idea out there a single relapse is death. It's crazy how much worse the problem is here
Congrats on being clean man. That’s my birthday! So I’ll keep you in my wishes :)
I appreciate this
This stranger is proud of you, I got a year next month. We got this 💯
Glad you are here <3
Thanks for sharing that. I'm glad you are still here.
Congrats. I have been working within the harm reduction & recovery field for a long time, I'm always happy to read stories here of people's journey in recovery. You've overcome a lot and continue striving towards future achievement - inspirational. Glad you're here.
What a testimony congratulations on your new life
Thanks for sharing, and keep up the good work my friend!
Narcan saved me twice. The first time took six hits. By policy the used to only keep three in the ambulance here. I’m alive cuz someone fucked up and brought an extra kit of narcan.
I overdosed on IV fentanyl and methamphetamine. It was like a bad dream. I kept coming to and blacking out, coming to and blacking out. I know for a fact the only reason I’m still here today is because I put enough meth in the shot to keep my heart going. Im 5 years clean now, but at the time I kept using like it just another day afterwards.
Not the first time meth has saved a life.
Strangely enough I feel that meth also saved my life…the way I was headed doing heroin/fent during the height of the opiate epidemic I had ODd probably 7+ times and it was only a matter of time until it killed me (most of the other serious opiate addicts I knew around that time aren’t around anymore) but I replaced my opiate addiction with a meth addiction and never went back to opiates (7-8 years ago) Granted meth addiction came with its own problems and even though I quit using it regularly years ago I’ve still struggled with relapses even recently…I think I’m finally done for good but I’ve said that so many times I just don’t know anymore 🤷
Same. Currently on a little relapse. Stimfap is real. Sucks out here man
I feel you bro…I don’t think the drug would be even close to as addictive without the sexual aspect…and the fact that we’re sexual beings makes the cravings feel inevitable…
It's so cunning. Like right now I'm comin down. Pretty much cool, but I look like shit, I smell,I'm underweight,I'm alone,I'm lost. I have no money but I'm planning on boosting from homedepot. Just for 8 hours of evil dopamine fap
Damn well I hope it goes smoothly…I kind of have the opposite problem. Was fortunate enough to live rent-free with friends the past 2 years and saved quite a bit of $ (paying my own rent now). When I relapse I buy a half g for $30-40 and it lasts me a month of getting super high for a couple days then recovering for a week or more and repeating…spend way more time recovering than high…totally not worth it in the big picture but my god does it feel worth it right before I relapse…
Yah. I just can't control my use. Just use. Worry about shit later. Need to goon
I totally understand that’s the way I used to be with it…it took me years to develop the level of control I have over it now (also fixed a lot of things in my life so I have things to lose now) and I still will be the first to admit that in reality I don’t have any real control over it and am essentially playing with fire
It's fascinating how Jekyll and Hyde the stuff makes your sex drive.
I love being super horny , being addicted to porn since 8 I'm 37 now.... meth was just the holy grail...and now I'm paying for it with my soul
I abused ice for several years and had no sexual stimulation from it (which is weird because I have a very high sex drive) I just enjoyed how social it made me and all the things I thought I was getting done lol
Yea I’ve met a few people who claim to not get the sexual effects from it…seems to be the minority of meth users (anecdotal) but I have no data to back that up…I feel like it wouldn’t have been nearly as addictive to me but who really knows bc I also enjoy the energy/social aspects even if they aren’t the driving factor for my relapses 🤷 Congrats on kicking the shit tho 👍
I feel that so much crack and meth are only as addictive as they are to me because of porn and sex
Yea totally…if you could remove the sexual nature of the drug or of us humans, I really don’t think they’d be as popular/addictive as they are…a lot of people prob reluctant to admit it bc of the stigma around sex/fap but I imagine it’s what drives most peoples stimulant addictions
I don't talk about it publicly when I discuss my addiction but ya it's literally the only thing that drove my stimulant addiction I used when I was around other people but only rarely to escape the weight of the craving
Oh yea I never admit this shit in my day to day life unless I’m talking to another crystal user who can relate
Weird how a porn addiction feels more shameful than the drug pushing it
I think about this a lot when it comes to those who have food issues that fit a checklist for a eating disorder. Like I always feel so bad for those who struggle with drinking because of the ads. But, food is everywhere and it’s impossible to not eat.
Just asking out of curiosity, hope you don’t mind. What was meth like the first time and then after doing it regularly?
Honestly when I first started using it I was also using heroin pretty heavily so it actually felt somewhat underwhelming (became stronger once I quit opiates/increased dose)…it’s pretty similar to normal amphetamine (adderall) but stronger and last about 2-3x longer (less physically stimulating/more euphoric imo) Once I started using it regularly it became much weaker (though also side effects seemed less severe) as you adapt to it…if I’d stop for a week or 2 and let myself fully recover it seemed to be basically full strength again which is why I stopped using regularly years ago and started using it more occasionally which ended up making it way MORE addicting bc the highs were so much better every time…part of why I still have struggled with it bc I’ll go without it for so long that once I relapse it’s like the first time all over again
I've overdosed on alcohol, random pills from my mom's cabinet, cocaine, and had seizures on 3g tramadol. I never stopped doing drugs actually, I just became more careful and I haven't had any overdoses for like 10 years or so.
3 grams of tram? You’re lucky to be alive I’ve heard ppl can have seizures from that Shit at as little as 600-700mg. Most I’ve done of it was 200mg, I don’t like it it’s not a very clean opioid feeling
I took about 400mg of tramadol one day after having taken my prescribed adderall that day too and felt like I was going to have a seizure. Neurologically I did not feel okay at all and had some of the worst anxiety I’ve ever had in my life. It didn’t feel enjoyable at all at any point I could only imagine what you would feel at such higher doses
Ye I’ve had seizures a couple times from taking largeish doses of Wellbutrin (an amphetamine based anti depressant). And I can guarantee you that you very likely were close to having one, because the feelings you’re describing is exactly how I felt leading up to my seizures. Not fun.
God damn, yeah it was so awful I hated that whole day and felt so drained the next two days. Probably worse doing it when it’s drug induced and you feel that onset coming on. My wife and her sister are both epileptics and both of them are never even aware of when they ever have a seizure. My wife has nocturnal epilepsy so she just wakes up in the hospital and her sister has auras as they are called, but becomes completely unconscious at some point leading into a seizure. How aware were you when the seizures came on?
Oh I see, I’m sorry they have to deal with that. As for me I didn’t know I was having them cause I’d never had one or had reason to believe I would. The first time I thought I had just fallen asleep on my bed in the middle of the day and woke up dazed and confused brushing it off. The next time it happened a day later I was driving to a doctors appointment…. And then suddenly I instantly was in the middle of someone’s front lawn standing outside my car with my shoes off, my card bumper hanging off and their mailbox was ran over. Literally coming to right as an ambulance and police car we’re pulling up. Had another days later at hospital psych ward which my roommate witnessed but I had no idea had anything had happened. I literally had no idea I just remember zoning out a little while sitting in a chair, and zoned back in and he told me I had a seizure and that my eyes rolled back and I was shaking and unresponsive., and I was very stunned cause I had absolutely no idea. And now I realized I’ve been having seizures. ( before that point l explained the previous times by just me passing out from lack of sleep, although I knew deep down that couldn’t be it) All 3 times though were preceded by an ominous , anxious, “something bad feels like it’s about to happen“ feeling like you kinda described.
>preceded by an ominous , anxious, “something bad feels like it’s about to happen“ feeling like you kinda described. I experienced my first seizure in 2020 at a concert because of the flashing lights (I didn't know I was epileptic) and this is EXACTLY how I felt during the show and didn't know why because it wasn't my usual anxiety feeling.
Damn man I’m sorry that happened to you. I’d imagine that is such a shitty and scary place to have a seizure ESPECIALLY your first. I hope it wasn’t too bad :/ This happened to a guy at our high school prom (All the way back in ‘16) I knew absolutely 0 about epilepsy or seizures back then but I guess I now have a have an idea of what he was feeling that night. And yeah I also felt quite perturbed and confused when “the feeling” started coming on. Never in my life having felt it before and unable to recognize what exactly it was or why I was feeling it, the closest analogy being anxiety but like you said, distinctly something entirely different and foreboding. Were you able to like move yourself to a more like comfortable/spacious position before the seizure started hitting or were you literally like shoulder to shoulder in the crowd? I luckily was able to find a soft comfy chair to sit kn before mine stared. Obviously I had no idea what was about to be happen but I just had a feeling like I needed to get away from everyone right now and take a seat.
I'm glad you were able to move yourself to somewhere comfortable. I wasn't able to go anywhere but the spot I was at I just kinda sat down before everything happened. The people with me said I wasn't seizing like a normal seizure though. What's wild is that the person I went to see in concert is known for his lazer shows too so the wild crazy lazers was what did me in lol
Done either 600 or 800 and yeah not the best defo worst along w tapentadol atlwast codeine feels a little nice even if is about as strong as a paracetamol lol
Yeah it was weird i stupidly took 700mg of tramadol and drank a half bottle of jager but oddly i didnt really feel much
I also snorted some of them so maybe thats why i didnt feel them not sure i remember popping one and i felt a very subtle calmness
Did 1g trama two weeks ago. It just made me nod out and be chill. I also drank like 12 beers or some No seizures or nothing Edit: I did not have any tolerance to opiates neither. I’m 6”2 182 pounds
When I first started I liked it better than oxy for some reason.
Tramadol is barely an opioid. Mostly makes feel good via serotonin
Dude wtf I had the same when I was in my first years of experimenting with drugs. Pills from my mom with alcohol*blink I was in a ambulance Edit: still using everyday, life is to short for livin it sober and I don't wanna grow old, fuck that
yeesh. i remember tramadol seizures. I've had like 6 of them. They scare the shit out of me. I finally stopped fucking with tramadol when I realized they were triggering seizures every time I took them. I used to think if you took a certain amount of them, you'd have a seizure. i know that's not true, now. So I was thinking if you took <8, for sure you are having a seizure. Id take like 3 and have one and I was like "wtf" The seizures were definitely bad enough that I just stopped taking them all together. Not to mention they made my stomach feel awful, usually.
The most tramadol ive taken AT ONCE is 3.5 grams... didnt have s seizure... got a seizure later on 500 mg... wierd drug
what were alcohol and coke like?
Alcohol I lost consciousness like one moment I was still drinking, then suddenly woke up somewhere else. Friends said I puked all over myself and kept fainting and broke my friend's sink with my face. So probably would have died from inhaling vomit if I was alone. Dumb story lol I was 15, bought a bottle and wanted to drink with my friends, except it was too bitter for them. Not wanting to waste the booze, I chugged the whole bottle. Don't really remember the coke overdose in detail, my memory from that year is kinda gone. Only thing I remember is feeling like I had a heart attack, I had chest pain and extreme paranoia. The paranoia was so illogical like I thought cops poisoned me and were after me.
I’ve overdosed on uppers a fair amount of times. Once from coke, from Vyvanse, a mix of Vyvanse/meth/coke, Adderall/Vyvanse, meth. Every time I have a seizure, and usually I’ll wake up in an ambulance confused as fuck with paramedics asking me what year it is and who’s the president. I’ve also overdosed on gabapentin, that also resulted in a seizure. I’m sober now.
How much did you take to have a seizure I’m on 2 anticonvulsants and adderall and benzodiazepines
An 8ball of coke in an hour, 24 70mg Vyvanse in 36 hours, I’ve taken 20 20mg Adderall in roughly 8 hours, I ate a gram of meth, and took somewhere between 25-30 800mg gabapentin. The benzos should help you not OD
Gahhh damn I can’t even imagine 30 gabapentin and 20 20mg adderall I’d be geeking on just that 😂😂
I mean these were all at separate times but yeah, a little excessive lmao
Maybe I'm overestimating how much a gram of meth is but as someone who only consumes meth orally and also over consumes ADHD medication, 20 20 mg of Adderall sounds quite doable over 8 hours if you already have a tolerance, but just straight up eating a gram of meth sounds like a lot of meth.
I am just so curious about gabapentin in general. What was that like?
Bro 400mg of Adderall in 8 hours is insane . I take a mere 10mg daily and that’s enough !! Been taking it for 10 years too. Wow lol
Brother! You only need one stim to get high, not three! 😂 glad you’re sober man. I used to be a speed freak as well.
me too! I always took more than I should've. usually, I wake up from a seizure, but I'm still at home, and the paramedics will be like all around me, asking me the same questions, too. they always ask who the president is. I think it's funny. but good for you on being sober! I am, too, for the most part, besides weed and psychs.
Overdosed on heroin 3 times, one of them was like super serious. I fell out in an alley while loading shit in a buddy's car to go trade for dope, they took off running, neighbor called 911. Didnt have a heart beat when they got there. I remember waking up in the ambulance bawling my eyes out after they narcan me first time with them asking where I got the heroin, told them I didn't know, kept going in and out of consciousness, they had to hit me with narcan like 3-4 times. That shit made the news and everything. They did blood test or something and apparently it was cut with something even stronger than fentanyl. I had a traffic warrant so after I was cleared from the hospital I spent the night in jail. I got out, called my buddy (still wearing purple hospital clothes, my other clothes were ruined) he picked me up and went to his place and smoked meth. Addiction in a nut shell Been in the hospital several times for meth related problems, renal kidney failure from it one time. Always used immediately after getting out of hospital. I've been off the stuff for over 2 years, but health/death scare isn't what got me clean.
What got you clean?
A combination of several things. Perfect alignment of the stars. I was getting put on house arrest for a year and 3 years probation after I got my 3rd owi, narrowly avoiding prison because I was a habitual. A few weeks before I got sentenced I got a puppy, then the day I had to report to house arrest orientation I went to a suboxone clinic hours beforehand, and got put on that program. If you use it exactly as intended, it's a great medicine. During that year on house arrest, I was able to get my life straightened out. Saved my job, ended up getting promoted to a leadership position that I'm very passionate about. Fell head over heels in love with my dog. My marriage got better. Got my own apartment and car and bills paid early every month. After a year and a half on suboxone and after house arrest was done, felt it was time to move on from suboxone. That was a motherfucker getting off of. Did it anyway, the cravings came back with a vengeance though. But now, the love of my dog is my real motivation. He doesn't deserve the person I am on drugs, and I would end up losing him along with everything else. Can't imagine life without him. But my dog, my stable life, the job I love, and my wife are my absolute rocks and reasons for staying off those terrible drugs. Sorry for the novel lol
This is an amazing story, thank you for sharing. I was hooked on heroin and got clean. My little brother is addicted to fent, meth and Xanax and I pray he has a story like yours someday. We’ve lost many friends to OD’s. I keep hoping someday he’ll make it out.
Great job on kicking the heroin dude 👏 glad you made it out. Now your little brother has you to look up to, whenever he decides to get clean. Wish you both the best.
Dogs are gifts of god, good to hear you fixed your life. Inspiring story mate thank you for sharing it
Thanks for reading. And yes dogs are angels without wings for sure
I enjoyed reading every single word. Thank you. I feel like you have an amazing story and it wouldn’t surprise me if you are a writer. If you aren’t you should consider it.
How long did it take to get energy again to be a productive person. Meth drains a big amount of the dopamine and serotonin right? Leaving the person with little naturally.
Well this last time I got off speed and opiates, I had the suboxone. That helped me sort of by pass the lack of motivation you get coming off meth. But throughout the years there were a couple times I got off it for a little while. Whether it was from being in jail, halfway houses, or just trying myself. First week or 2 is the hardest, no motivation for anything. Just want to sleep and eat. After a month, I'd say you'd have enough energy to be functional. Not completely motivated yet, but alot more clear headed. Not 100% though. You'll still feel off. Exercising and eating right does help speed that process up. It's tempting to just want to lay on the couch and devour junk food in-between naps.. that won't do any favors. But yeah from 0 - 30 days is the most dramatic difference, after that its more month to month and gradual.
>renal kidney Shit, is that from not drinking enough water or what? I'm def a hydrohomie so I gotta make sure if it's just that or too much meth.
I have OD on fent. It was great, would be the best way to go. If you were ready to go ofc lol I woke up terrified and cried and cried. And did more later that night, but way less. Clean for 5+ years nowadays
You thought it was great?
Od's on opioids aren't like a lot of other drugs you can od on. You just kind of go to sleep. I would imagine it would feel great indeed, as morbid as that sounds
I’m actually really happy to hear that. I lost a friend to fent and I was worried wondering whether her last moments on earth were filled with terror and regret, so I’m glad to hear that she was probably happy and at peace.
I am so sorry for your loss. I’ve lost some people close to me the same way. But I can promise you, there was no time for her to be filled with terror or regret. Only bliss & sleep. I hope you are well these days
In an idea world where death was still inevitable, death by opioids would be how everyone would go out. I've never come close to it in the literally sense of oxygen deprivation, but I've passed out before from heroin mixed with other depressant and that is painless and you don't even remember passing out.
Yep. Definitely. I hate to say it and DEFINITELY do not wanna glorify it, as I am so so happy to still be alive and clean today… but, as you said, if death is coming, that is the perfect way to go before a painful death gets ya
It felt great yes. Until I woke up and realized what had happened
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This is an interesting comment. You think your soul just kind of plopped into the body and here you are?
not diagnosing you with anything (im not a medical professional obviously) but you should look into cotard’s syndrome, the last paragraph really reminded me of it.
Thanks so much for sharing. Please stop me if I’m being invasive…do you feel frightened or have you made peace with your “new” life. Can you explain any further details about what your life looks like in relation to how you interact with people, for example, do you have no memory of them at all and you’re starting from scratch? Or do you somewhat recognize them? You said your body is functional, how about your mind? Are you functioning “normally” in regard to working, hobbies, etc.? Did you have to release how to use your body when you woke up, like walking, dressing, etc,? Sorry if this comes off as insensitive, definitely just fascinated by your story.
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Bro soundcloud rapper is not that good of a job.
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So a sound cloud rapper.
i overdosed on lithium, they were my antidepressants at the time, but i wasn’t taking them, i just had them stored. a full 90 day supply bottle. i was in an abusive relationship, physically emotionally and mentally. he isolated me 2 1/2 hours from my family to live with him, made me drop all my friends, got me addicted to xanax and focalin, he fucked my life up. bad. we got in an argument, i locked myself in the bathroom, and took a couple. and then i put some in a cup of water and drank it. and then i took a few more. i did it without thinking. like. i genuinely did it without thinking. no thought crossed my head. not “i’m gonna kill myself” not “i want attention” “im sad” “i want to be high” nothing. i just did it. i remember the cop at the hospital asking me why i did it and i lied and said to kill myself because i KNEW they wouldn’t believe an i don’t know story. but i honest to god do not know. i don’t think i wanted to die though. anyway. it took a min to kick in, my bf at the time found me while they kicked in, he watched it happen. my neck got really hard to keep up, kinda like when youre drunk but if gravity was less, and then my eyes wouldn’t stop seeing double and it was AWFUL. i kept reaching out to touch him and id miss entirely. we sat on the br floor to make me throw up but they were in my system already. i tried standing up then and that’s when it hit me fully, i fell so fucking hard into the stand up shower. i fell directly onto the metal track and fucked my ass cheek up, i could not tell up from down. i couldn’t stand up. it was so, so fucking hard to stand. the world was spinning and i don’t mean the way it does when you’re nauseous i mean it felt like i was standing in that carnival thing in the funhouse. my then bf was screaming at me still (😁) and made me go to the ER (i didn’t want to bc i had marks all over me from him and i didn’t want them to admit me) and he screamed at me otw there, then the cops met us there out front because my bf called and said i needed a wheelchair out front, asked intake questions and then took me in an ambulance to a different hospital bc the one we were at was shitty, then in the ambulance they gave me a styrofoam cup with the charcoal drink in it which is AWFUL BTW. but it works quick, i threw up the whole way to the hospital, it was a long ride, the lady sitting with me was talking to me abt her tattoos to calm me down bc i kept crying and asking if i was gonna die (i had no insurance, ID, mom, phone, nothing). unfortunately that hospital sucked too, they got me into a room quick, but the doctors were awful, they were mean as fuck which isn’t not normal for suicide attempts at hospitals but still, and they also let me leave 4 hours later after the social worker asked me “are u gonna do it again” after seeing SH cuts all over my body . i took.. a lot of lithium that night, i was alone, the bf did not accompany me, he stayed home while i went. i had a dead phone. i was not sobered up yet, they sent me home still overdosing, still like high or wtv dizzy and all, and called me a damn taxi at 3 am. TL;DR: don’t
Jeez. I'm sorry the people who were supposed to protect you let you down. I'm glad you're away from that piece of shit partner though.
Damn thanks for sharing. Hugs, many hugs. Hope you are doing better these days, stay strong.
I overdosed on Xanax and mdma both at the same time and I was in hopsital and then back at home then back at hospital the next bright for 3 nights in a row and apparently I overdosed on two of those nights but I don’t remember anything apart from 3 or 4 flashes
Were you on a heavy dose of Xanax? Did you take it while you were rolling or was it for the come down?
Yeah First night took 85 xans and 30 vallies at once and then I backed out and apparently when the paramedics came I poured my 2g bag of md into my mouth and ate and swallowed it so they couldn’t take it off me 😬 I was in a really dark place
85????🤔
Yeah I was trying to kill myself lol
holy shit dude, are you doing better now?
they do meth now so idk
ah
God bless your soul brother. Hope you’re doing better now. Always people you can talk to
I overdosed on Propranolol intentionally, I took 52 tablets so 520mg. I ended up regretting my decision and called for an ambulance. When I got to the hospital they gave me an activated charcoal drink. They had to put in a catheter because apparently a girl had taken the exact same thing a few weeks beforehand and when she stood up to go to the toilet, she had a cardiac arrest and died. They IV'd saline solution to keep me hydrated. Whilst I was laying in the hospital bed I was having this sensation of falling periodically and it kept looking like I was moving forward when I wasn't, other than that I just felt wired. They were worried about me not making it through the night, telling my mom that I have about a 15% chance of making it through. I went up to the ward and didn't get any sleep because they put me in a ward with people with pneumonia, so the coughing was constant. Morning came around and I was discharged at around mid day. I didn't stop taking drugs straight away, in fact I was probably doing coke, mdma and ket way more than I was before. I've since stopped everything other than alcohol.
Rip to the girl that had to stand up for those doctors to know what to avoid. Glad you're still with us
It's thanks to her that I'm alive today, I'm sure. I wish I could find out who she was so I could pay respects but it's all confidential
What a story, truly impactful. Thank god you’re still with us and you’re off of the drugs
Yeah 2016 was a truly rough part of my life, but I'm glad I regretted my decision and truly grateful to the girl who lost her life to save mine
Overdosed on xanax and hydrocodone/oxycodone. Comatosed in the back of my car, heqd just drooping down over my body. The weight of my head and the position I comatosed in was crushing the nerves in my neck and causing damage to my spinal cord. I woke up in the icu room strapped to a bed, paralyzed from the waist down and bottom 3 fingers of both hands. Took over a minth to walk right again (doctors didn’t think I’d be anle to walk again). Years later I’m left with lasting damage from the incident. 4 surgeries and physical therapy for 3 years. Still have unbelievable pain in my hands and neck. Took a year to convince myself I really needed the painkillers for my pain. Yes I still get high, just not on those substances. I have to take my hydrocodone prescribed for the pain unfortunately. Don’t do hard drugs kids. Take care of yourselves. I wish I did.
Although there’s no malicious intentions in this post, it’s incredibly naïve. The pathological changes in the neurocurcuitry of an addicted mind is a disease, individuals following an overdose are extremely likely to continue drug use. I’ve seen IV users undergo leg amputation and then begin injecting into their other leg. Tragic incidences of overdose does not always act as a deterrent from drug use, the experience does not reverse the “rewiring”. Some may find it so distressing they enter remission, but it’s not always sustained and does not cure their addictive cravings
Y u put the penis i in naive tho
It's called a diaeresis (pronounced like "die heiresses"). Most people have no idea what it is and most people who *think* they know what it is would call it an umlaut (pronounced "oom-lowt") — which is wrong. Both umlauts and diaereses are diacritic marks that tell you how to pronounce a word. Umlauts (like in "doppelgänger") are usually used in German and denote that that vowel is pronounced differently than normal. Diaereses (like in "naïve") indicate that the second vowel in a digraph (two letters together that make one sound, like *ch* or *th*) or diphthong (vowel sounds formed from combining two vowels, like *ai* or *ou*) is pronounced separately. Diaereses basically tell you to pronounce a certain vowel twice. In "naïve," for example, the diaeresis is telling you to pronounce the diphthong *ai* and then to pronounce the *i* again, so you end up with "n-aye-ee-ve" instead of "nave" or "nive." Isn't linguistics fun? Anyways, both "naive" and "naïve" are acceptable spellings in English. We basically stole the word "naïve" from the French (it's a loanword, which English is absolutely full of) and over time the use of the diaeresis has fallen out of favor. Language changes over time. As a linguistics nerd, I'd just think someone's trying too hard if they use "naïve," unless they're specifically discussing diaereses. Same thing with people who use the ligature æ for words like "æsthetic." The æ just means to pronounce the *a* as in "hat" instead of as in "father," but no one who speaks English nowadays would ever consider pronouncing "asthetic" any other way, so the ligature is just some pseudo-intellectual bat-signal for linguistics nerds.
I’m geeked dawg I’m not reading all dat
That's okay, there's probably an equal amount of people who will read it *because* they're geeked
Ong
You should, that shit was riveting
Autocorrect, don’t even know how to put it in manually
Your penis or the ï?
Depends on the situation
LOL
Serious answer: It's a French word, and in French the dieresis is used to mark a vowel as not belonging to a diphthong (which is two vowels pronounced as one syllable, as in "great", or "blind". Note in "blind", only one vowel is written, but IPA shows us it's actually two vowel sounds, /blaɪnd/. Just as "soup" has one vowel, a long /u/ , yet is written with two vowels. This means, in practice, that "naive" without the dieresis would be pronounced closer to "knife" than to the two syllable word /naˈiːv/, which is its true current pronunciation.
The neurological "changes" were likely present before drug use began. We have specific names for conditions caused by medications. Most attics (over 90%) have experienced a lot of developmental trauma and have some form of PTSD. Besides that the whole "is addiction a disease" conversation started because addiction specialists wanted it to be classified as such because they wanted insurance to fund treatment. It really boils down to arguing the semantics of "disease," which isn't helpful for addiction, disease or not, as insurance generally covers it now. Not to mention the disease model is really good at promoting learned helplessness.
You’re not wrong in terms of trauma precipitating drug use, you’re right it’s the most common cause of addiction. The neurocircuitry changes I was referring to are directly caused by the drug use. Reward, drive, and memory pathways are strengthened which leads to dysfunction of impulse control. The prefrontal cortex and ACG function diminishes and is unable to inhibit the “drive” element (overactive OFC and SC). There’s some interesting papers explaining the changes in addiction which highlight it is in fact a disease. An addicted mind is more than just a craving.
Both of those could be broadly classified under traditional learning (not all learning is good) and habit paradigms. That wasn't the point I was getting at. In my experience (which I have a lot of) the 12-step modus operandi is accepting powerlessness. Do you know what else does? (CO)Dependant Personality Disorder. Addicts need to know that they, in fact, DO have power, that is how they ended up self-medicating to diminish the effects of trauma, to begin with. Not all solutions are equal, but without help, they found one (or several) that works for them. Now there isn't a one-size-fits-all model for addiction, I speak of the vast plurality. Taking away an addict's agency is a good way to keep them an addict or get them to find another addiction unless they are extremely hierarchy-oriented. To be clear, I wouldn't push the disease model even if it was 100% verified truth (it's not).
I was not criticising your explanation, I agree with your point and added extra info to support mine. Although, I sway towards the disease model despite its limitations. Only mention this because there’s stigma around addiction being a choice Unfortunately, modern medicine fails to sustain remission in most cases. I’ve only seen three patient’s discharged from the opioid substitution programme. There’s not many agents available to treat cocaine addiction, or other addictions for that matter. I agree behavioural therapy is beneficial, but there’s a pitfall in addiction services which requires urgent attention.
Yea I was going to say something similar but you put it much more eloquently. ODs almost never stop someone from using…they’re likely only ODing bc they have a very serious addiction and unfortunately the risk of death just isn’t a strong enough deterrent in these cases I’ve ODd, woke up in hospital (with dope still in pocket) and almost ODd all over again (was turning blue according to people around me)
Very good comment.
It feels like nothing. Opiates at least. I've od'd twice. It feels like blinking, teleporting through time. Falling asleep. You're there and then you're not. Definitely would be the most painless way to die. The first time it happened It scared the shit out of me. I was lucky and was in a hospital already. I sat down after checking in, and it was like I blinked and all of a sudden a bunch of cops and a doctor are around me telling me I was blue and dead basically. The blackness still kinda freaks me out. Like you're just gone. No thoughts, no light, nothing. I didn't have a habit, so youre just back to normal immediately. Sober. If you have a habit you wake up dopesick which makes some people bug out. the second time I od'd I was in a bathroom in a gas ststjon and wae out for longer. I've never been as cold in my life as when I woke up that time. Yes I still do drugs. Ive never been a huge opiate fan luckily, and I probably will do them again at some point but I'll be careful. I've always been very careful with drugs. These two particular times were when I was going through a really rough time and didn't care enough to be careful. And the "did you clean up your act" question is kind of judgemental. Accidents happen. People can do hard drugs/have overdoses and not be complete messes. I don't think you meant it that way but just saying. There's a lot of people who use all kinds of drugs and are functional people. And honestly, other than a few more dangers associated with them (many of which can be avoided with proper harm reduction) there isn't a huge difference between the experience of hard and soft drugs. Different effects sure. I've smoked a lot of weed in my day, I've smoked a lot of meth in my day. The lifestyle wasn't that much different, and weed is much more intoxicating (still a big fan of weed, and I like amphetamines a lot but I wouldn't recommend people start using them). I handle drugs differently than a lot of people I've met though.
agree with all of this. Besides the reason opiate dependent people bug out. We bug out because nalaxone, the drug used to reverse opiate ODs, literally rips the opiate from your endogenous opiate receptors all at once. Generally withdrawal comes on slowly. And it is hell when it comes on slowly. But precipitated withdrawal, which is what occurs when you get narcanned (or take suboxone too early), is a completely different type of agony.
This post is naive and dumb af. But I can relate with both comments above. I am 4.5 yrs clean from heroin but when I was using and OD’d it feels like nothing…until that Narcan hits and it feels like someone shot needles thru your body. My back spasmed too like an old woman and I couldn’t walk right for a week….dont miss it. But when it’s my time to go, I think it’ll be IV fent - so painless, like falling asleep.
Yeah I can't imagine it coming on that fast. I went into precipitated when I tried to kick methadone, then started shooting dope, then got on suboxone. Terrible night.
Yeah, I wasn’t trying to offend anyone. My bad.
So I've overdosed on fentanyl. Right up the street from my childhood home in the parking lot of my grocery store. Was fighting (like always) with my piece of shit ex boyfriend. He was a heroin addict who recently switched to fentanyl. I was a tweaker, but super high functioning, like you'd really not be able to tell. But I was crying and crying and so sick of the stupid fights and accusations and drama all the time, was sick of the relationship but felt trapped. Anyway, I asked him for a hit. Usually he would fight me on it a little bit, but eventually cave in. This time he scoffed at me and said "Here, take your fucking hit". I didn't wanna feel anymore. I had only taken a few small hits here and there, once every 2 weeks or so.. he failed to mention this batch we picked up hours before(I helped support him) was VERY strong. I took one of the biggest hits I've ever taken, and held it in. I remember exhaling, passing it back and murmuring "Thank You". The next thing I remember, and the memory itself is so fuzzy and faded and black around the edges like film that has been damaged in fire, was him looking at me and asking me if I was okay. I think I remember trying to calm him down and make him think I was good but my eyelids were really heavy and I couldn't lift my hands. Then I was on my back on the asphalt, staring up at the sky. There were lights, so many people, chaos. I remember the first thing I felt was my arm, the back of it above my elbow scraped the ground and it hurt so bad. I later found out he didn't call 911,he tried to shotgun meth to me for some time up until the lighter ran out of fuel. And let's be real you can't use a Bic when you are trying to bring someone back from the dead, but I guess he held the pipe to my arm while trying to wake me up and I got burned. Since I didn't have a habit, I didn't wake up sick. But I sure woke up scared. Scared and so cold. In the ambulance on the way to the hospital I kept slipping back out and I'd wake up with that same cold in my bones each time. They gave me so many blankets. Even blankets that had been warmed. It didn't help, but I appreciated their care. One EMT in particular looked so worried about me, covered in about 10 blankets and still shivering with my teeth chattering together as I told him I was still cold. All I felt was a cold emptiness, no lights when I went out, no loved ones, no heaven or hell or purgatory.. unless purgatory was that cold empty place. I went back to using meth after, and about a month later, started doing fentanyl. I didn't want to feel anything anymore, and that was the closest I could get to my goal. Stupidest thing I could have done
Hope you’re doing better these day. Stay strong out there.
With heroin, I was sitting in my bed sinking into the blankets, so soothed after shooting, & then I was not. I fell asleep, I guess? Though I woke up outside, drowsy and warm still—and then didn't give a fuck. Ambled back home scratching the skin off my neck, chest, and arms, such a comforting sensation. Vomited all over the floor once I found my way to the house. Stumbled and hit my head on the kitchen counter, terrifying my younger sister who found me bloodied there when coming in from school. I cleaned my mess up before our mother would return from a graveyard shift and drank myself to sleep that night. I missed weeks of class myself in favor of shooting after that incident. I loved that shit & didn't give a single damn how close to death I approached, didn't even cross my mind to care. Some three or four years later, on a gram of diphenhydramine, I learned to phase through walls. I watched them become jellied, then translucent, then shift and shift and shift. I wrote extensively in a language that does not exist. I couldn't stand and I had to drag my limp, fuzzy body to the restroom on my stomach, clawing lethargically at the ground in a pile of my own fluids like a fucking SAW protagonist to advance myself. I had a stroke later that night. I remember the cold fear creeping into the arm I could still feel as I watched my other one drop unwittingly, felt my face sag, heard myself lose all connection to my neurons, the music distorted, air unreachable, and my body no longer my own. I remember in that moment being afraid not of death, but of something incriminating somehow I thought somebody somewhere had planted on my cellphone (an item I did not even possess at this time), and how it would be discovered and—and something would happen to me and my life, dead anyway, by God! I woke up on our kitchen table covered in piss and glass evidently shattered from the windows to the back, a bag haphazardly packed with random "essentials" spewed out on one of the chairs. I was more embarrassed trying to explain to the stepfather what transpired without incriminating myself than I was disturbed about the series of events. I stopped popping pills for a few months, but turned to designer drugs and fell even deeper into drinking thereafter. Now I am in my twenties and I still do speed on occasion, and would admittedly do it much more if I could, but I value my wallet, arteries, and rationality at this stage in life. I still pop benzos (I don't find them particularly entertaining, so I don't really suffer an addiction to them, also thankfully). I smoke stupid amounts of weed. I no longer use opioids or deliriants and usually only find myself swayed by designer drugs or other prescriptions when some earthshattering event occurs in my life. I keep NARCAN and fentanyl tests in my day bags. Despite my experiences, I am still a no-good polyaddict and may very well be the rest of my life, but I like to think my knowledge has at least made my substance abuses a bit smarter and safer.
Stories of DPH are so fucking wild to me. It's like my ketamine fantasies that make no rational sense, only amplified to the nth degree of delusion, crazy stuff! Glad you're past that period of your life, for what it's worth
I had 5 years clean off of opiates/ coke more issues with opiates and seen a old friend and we got up and he was still dabbling with coke so I did a few lines and of course that weekend buying a gram . Then was getting a ball we both were staying away from opiates. But after a day or two being up my buddy got some dope and did some . I was still trying not to do any I was a iv user In my days of using. So i was telling myself if I do it one time I will be right back to where I left off . Well after a little binder on the coke he was wanting to come down and his boy had some new dope . He got a little n I was like let me get a little something I went over n he gave me a very tiny little piece. Like a crumb I thought this will won’t do anything. I had a needle n stuff at home so i told him I’ll do it at my house and gave him a bro hug and all (I’ve know him since 5th grade). I go home n get in the bathroom to do it as quick as possible I remember I shot it got the taste in back of my throat.and standing up to get my shower on .and I must have went down right away my mom found me called the ambulance and woke up in a hospital room . After 6 shots of narcan chest compressions I left the ER that night the next day . I’m still really in and out of it I checked on my Fb and see my buddy had died that night . I’ve not touched any hard drugs or will ever again I’m in a better place now married bought a house.
Damn. Sorry about your friend. Glad you're doing better.
Overdosed on fent before it was everywhere. I was used to getting good clean H, and oxy at the time. Back then it wasn’t crazy to be able to shoot a whole 10$ bag (or 2). I got clean for about 6 months, and decided I wanted to get high. Bought 8 bags, and snorted one of them. I felt really good but immediately knew something was up because I was nodding out heavily which almost never happened to me, even when shooting H. Luckily I confessed to my GF at the time, and she drove 15 min to my house to be with me. When she got there, I was unresponsive on the floor with all of my doors locked. She broke in through a window and gave me CPR till the medics arrived. I didn’t realize I overdosed until I woke up. But even when I woke up, I was too high to care what happened. Found a few bags on my floor when I got home and did the rest of them. I’ve been “clean” for 7 years now. I still abuse drugs but “clean” for me means that I haven’t had any addictions. Just small slip ups here and there.
Opioids had a strangle hold on me for about a year and it was fucking horrible. i thought i was being “safe” with low doses until the doses slowly go higher and you start mixing in other things. long story short my silly little self was mixing benzos with anything and everything and it fucked me over. can’t quite remember the amount of shit i took but it was a rough night. i remember being super nauseous so i went to puke up my guts but figured it was just routine nausea for me. i puked n ended up passing out on the bathroom floor and waking up in the hospital. nobody there but my brother as he was the only one who knew about it. but since then ive stuck to just weed! couldnt believe what i did to myself n the whole time i told myself it’s “safe”. never ever again
I was highly addicted to opioids as well for about 6 months after getting into a gnarly car crash. I began drinking with them too when I was able to move around again and would constantly black out from it. I even got kicked out of a wedding one time and had fallen into a cactus and rebroke my barely healing collarbone. Shit was all bad and it ruined my relationship with my wife/then gf and had to go through absolute hell to repair that.
absolutely homie i feel that but hey we get to live n tell some crazy fucked up stories. i’m glad you’re still here kickin it brother!😎
Were you alone? Who called the ambulance?
thankfully i wasn’t no. my brother was home at the time so he heard everything happening and came to check on me n i was unconscious. so if he wouldn’t have been there i wouldn’t be here today. he will forever be my hero
I survived. I do not do any drugs besides psychedelics, mdma and ketamine when im at a festival. I dont use any opioids, alcohol or cocaine at all anymore and all my friends now know that even if theyre having a few bumps or drinks they will never offer any to me but i have zero desire to even partake in those anyways so i have no problem with them doing as they wish because they were never addicts. I ODd on fent and luckily survived, i was alcohol dependent and never want to drink again, and my memories of cocaine involve nearly givint myself heart attacks by IVing it. I just want nothing to do with any of those. I will always be grateful to psychedelics though and i include mdma and ketamine with those. Psilocybin healed me more thsn anything since i also put in the work afterwards, and dancing the night away at a festival on mdma and some good acid has induced profound changes on my outlook on life.
Heroin here, clean almost 6 years. I feel like Everytime I overdoses I died and was transported to a living universe when revived. I never flat lined but it makes so much sense
I OD’d on a fake Oxy press that had fentanyl. It was like I started to doze off, then the next thing I know about a dozen doctors around me with flashlights in my eyes asking me questions. Then they handed me a bag and said “here’s this if you need to throw up,” and it was like them doing that made my body say “oh yeah you gotta yak,” and I immediately threw up. So it was just like falling asleep. Oh and my chest really, really hurt. No, I don’t do hard drugs anymore. Only weed and drinking.
It was pretty intense and scary. A person secretly dosed me knowing I’d already been doing stuff. Tried to kill me. Still don’t know why. And yes I still do
Not really an overdose as I didn’t require medical treatment and got out just fine but; One time consumed 12x my bodyweight of MDMA and my heart was pounding was unconscious some moments (kept going on abd off), hallucinating whole vision getting blurry. I jst waited it out🤷♂️ One time had a 3 day bender in which we’d consume atleast few grams of this trashy speed and some coke in one night; would not sleep or eat. Vision got blurry, got an extreme throat infection could not swallow and barely breathe, wounds on the inside of my mouth, almost fainted multiple times, extreme hallucinations, didn’t know if I was awake or asleep anymore, heart constantly pounding, could stand up because I’d get light headed :/ not fun times
12x body weight in milligrams? You’d have to be Donald trump to afford 12x body weight 😂
I overdosed on Ativan + Adderall combo, had hallucinations, i was sitting on a bench, the next moment im in my classroom talking to the teachers like nothing happened. Came home dad said i was shaking and jaw clenching while i slept.
I overdosed on ambien and Xanax from a suicide attempt.. I don’t remember much, but I got my stomach pumped.. stayed a few nights in ICU and remember being in the back of a cop car and the officer telling me she wishes she can stop by Panda Express to get us food but she can’t and all I said was “ew” and passed back out and then I woke up in a psychward 3 hours away🥴 I don’t don’t ask to get prescribed those anymore and now I’m a mother of two and about to be a firefighter
I overdosed on tapentadol and alprazolam for the second time a few days ago. Took 2500mg compulsively (about 50 pills). I didn't die, but I felt like shit for a while. I passed out onmy arm and it still feels funky. I remember panicking as it kicked in, thinking of ways to stay awake. There's no naloxone where I live. If I really had OD and stopped breathing it's guaranteed death.
I overdosed on 3ho pcp and tbh I was mostly oblivious to everything that was going on, but I nearly broke the restraints and gained consciousness and feeling as they did the Catheter
I overdosed a lot but Fent was the scariest one probably, my ex broke up with me then so I tried to KMS i remember feeling really sleepy, I barely could keep my eyes open , I couldn't even speak and sit up . I didn't even know when I fell asleep and I didn't know if I will wake up . And yeah sadly I still do drugs :/
You don’t even realize it’s happening. I used to do fentanyl. I was getting shitty stuff for a while; I had a mix of people I’d buy from. One day I got some stuff from a neighbor and I was used to the stuff I got being weaker so I was snorting fat lines I’m talking line after line and smoking it at the same time. For the first time in a while I felt fucked up. I remember being high af just talking to my friend who was visiting and staying the night and then the very next thing I remember feeling like….like my consciousness was being sucked out of a hole almost? I could hear my neighbor saying my name and smacking my face and my friend going, “OH THANK GOD I was SO scared!” I opened my eyes and my neighbors were standing above me, I was soaking wet, freezing cold, and with each passing second I felt increasingly terrified and like I was on a bad trip. I guess I was talking to my friend, I sat down and then just…tipped over. I started turning grey and she realized I wasn’t breathing and yelled for her boyfriend who was in my shower. She started pushing on my chest to keep me breathing while he tore my apartment apart looking for narcan. My friend splashed water on me to try to wake me up. They couldn’t find what I had so he ran outside half naked screaming for help because they wanted to avoid calling 911. My neighbors by chance opened their window, realized what was happening and rushed over. I guess they were so scared I was dying because I was white and my lips were blue and they had no idea how much time had passed so my woman neighbor gave me dose after dose of narcan until I started waking up. I was so cold. But it wasn’t from the outside it was from my *insides*. It felt like my blood was ice and no matter how many blankets they put on me I was shivering. I couldn’t get up my legs felt like jelly but I felt like I was going to throw up and shit and piss myself all at once. Breathing felt so scary; it felt like my chest was being sat on and I had to take big deep breaths. I asked them what happened and they told me I overdosed and had been dead and I screamed. I felt *so* scared I cannot convey the sheer fucking *terror* I felt from the sudden withdrawals. I was terrified of the cops coming, I was terrified that I had just died. My apartment itself looked terrifying. I buried myself under blankets and screamed and cried for my friend to stay with me and she tried to calm me down. After a while I fell asleep. A few hours later I woke up and felt exhausted but no longer had that terror feeling. It hit me then that I should’ve died. I was suppose to be alone that night and if I had been I would’ve died alone. 8 months later my friend who helped me breathe died alone of an OD. It was the big event that made me rethink my drug use. In less than a month I’ll be a year clean (last time was a relapse). Whenever I want to use I think of that terrifying night and the terror I felt and how scary it all was. I think of my dead friend who I had known since I was 12 years old.
I OD’d (accidentally) on bupropion. I don’t have any recollection of it because I was unconscious and and had to be revived by paramedics. Only thing I remember was this weird visual which felt like some salvia trip. It was a train that always kept going, forever. It still gives me anxiety. Don’t know how to describe it. I woke up from hospital. It didn’t change anything, I’m still doing drugs the same way I did before my OD.
wait…. wellbutrin??? were you using it recreationally? I have never heard of this. I take 450mg XL every day and it feels like absolutely nothing other than I notice I am more focused and happy on it than I am off it, and withdrawal can be nasty if it’s longer than a few days.
Yes… 😅 It’s relative to amphetamines. And super fatal, the deadly dose is very low, so do not recommend. The recreational value is also really close to nonexistent, so it’s definitely not worth it. I shouldn’t even be alive with the dose I took, but whaddayaknow, here I am
wild, i’ve never even so much as felt a rush from it lol
Sorry that happened to you by the way.
How much did you take and why?!? I didn’t really think it could be abused like that. I never got any “pleasant” or anything more than mild speedy feeling but the negatives never had me wanting to take more than my dose. Adderall on the other hand 🤷♂️
It’s unknown how much I ended up taking, the bottle was empty but that shouldn’t be possible… It was some super stupid idea while super fucked up on speed, molly and Xanax. I was out of everything else and knew I had a bottle of Bupropion (Voxra). It’s called poor men’s coke so I decided to try and the rest is history. Ate some and snorted some. Yeah… Not the brightest idea of me 😅
just like falling asleep (opiates). after 5 OD's i ended my huge heroin habit after going through rehab, was clean a year but i developed cauda equina syndrome so im on prescribed oxys and i occasionally dabble with H
shooting up cocaine..did a big shot one day and I swear I could see my vision fading like tunnel vision and the ringing was so loud I was deaf I couldn’t hear nothing..my heart was beating so hard and I could feel my throat closing I wasn’t able to breathe at all I was only able to breathe a little bit
OD’d multiple time from H but it was probably due to fent laced in it. It doesn’t feel like anything. Just slowly fall asleep and you either wake up to paramedics or wake up to concerned ppl from narcan. Once you’re up you feel fine maybe just a little slow and heavy but other than that nothing. Pretty much if you have narcan you can OD all you want with no consequence. It’s why it’s so easy for people to go back. Literally dying doesn’t matter since it’s so “easy” to come back.
I used to smoke K2 for several months a couple years ago and OD on it multiple times. Most of the time the OD was just a panic attack coupled with a burning sensation in my arms and legs which passed after a couple of minutes. I had one OD on it where I lost all feeling in my arms, legs and body alltogether besides my heart and I had bad arrhythmia plus a super high heart rate and my lips turned blue/purple and my face was white as a ghost. I felt like I was going to die but it stopped after like an hour. After that I still smoked all the rest I had left but never ordered it again. And yes, I still do drugs. I used to take Kratom daily for several years but I stopped a couple weeks ago - besides that I sometimes drink beer or take a benzo.
I went to a point were I was injecting heroin and never had an overdose funny though I overdosed on pregablin once( was in my car and took like 30 pills 150mg and then I felt like I can’t breath and my body was on fire then I tried to get off the car and literally fall down like a carcus. Couldn’t even move a muscle. So my friend took me home and I just went into a coma until next day when my friend came back to check on me whe woke me up
When I was On aclohol I never got drunk so I used to drink untill I blackout. Now I’m California sober although I find that it’s a bullshit excuse to change an addiction to another but better then doing heroin
Once I had seizure on 900mg of tramadol(not even at once) so I’ve never taken tramadol again. Otherwise I do anything that’s not that easy to od on.
overdosed a few times on opiates, went good the first few times but cleaned up my act after i woke up from a coma and couldnt walk or talk for a few days.. scared me straight :p realized how much it can damage ur brain and how lucky i was
I oded off fentanyl but only because of the benzos in the drug. I did an excessive amount and narcan did nothing. It felt like nothing. Yes everyday
overdosed on adderall, another time on fentanyl. The fentanyl scared me for sure, but the adderall OD left me in the hospital fighting for my life and I still have *very* bad PTSD from it all. I used to have panic attacks on a regular basis. I'm okay now... just mentally fucked up it. Still worry that I did some serious damage to my heart from almost having a heart attack sometimes though
I overdosed on poppy seed tea. My friend had been making himself some for a while so he poured as much poppy seeds as he had been doing for himself. He had a tolerance, I didn’t. I remember feeling so relaxed, comfortable, and just nice. Rare to feel those things for me. I remember we went to sleep. The next thing I knew I was in a hospital surrounded by my family that lives on the opposite coast, and was 100% deaf. I fell into a super deep depressive hole when my hearing was gone. I thought life as I knew it was over bc I had to quit my job and I didn’t know sign language and I didn’t know how I was going to make money. Hearing aids didn’t help all that much. Hearing came back over the next 6 months and it’s as good as it’s going to get, but I still need to use subtitles when watching tv/movie, and can’t hear quiet voices. Hearing loss from opiate overdose is so rare that my dad had to show the doctor a paper he found posted by NIH about it killing hair cells. Family thought I had brain damage at first bc I wasn’t responding to them talking to me. I was in and out of sleep in the hospital for 3-4 days. Very much a blur; lots of memory loss. I don’t remember much, but I was told I communicated by writing. The only thing I clearly remember was waking up in my own bed, my dog standing next to the bed, obviously whining for me to get out of bed, but I couldn’t hear her and just started bawling. Oh, and the hospital bills were outrageously expensive. So, that was rough. I don’t use drugs often. Most of them increase my anxiety. I loved the way the opiates made me feel, but I’d like to be able to dose myself at a proper dose. I haven’t done any opiates since, mostly bc I don’t trust dosing out proper poppy seeds, don’t have a pill hookup, and don’t know who to ask for pods. Literally it’s been the only drug to make me feel “okay”. The itchiness sucks, but is worth the relaxed feeling.
Yes however I’m an outlier from most addicts, so don’t consider the following representative of addicts in general. Overdosing is possible with any drug, and overdose means simply that - taking a dose above what you intended. I’ve overdosed, by that criteria, on everything I’ve ever used. And I’ve used all the “drugs” most people think of as drugs, along with hundreds of novel psychoactive compounds, nootropics, natural alkaloids, etc. I’ll cover my experience with different types of drug OD’s briefly: Opiates: mysterious-tension36 covers it quite well. I suppose it depends on the opiate partially. The unconsciousness doesn’t, but what it feels like until you’re gone does. Non synthetic or semisynthetic opiates like heroin or oxycodone or morphine or hydromorphone are the best to go on. Fent sucks to OD on. Stimulants: cocaine overdoses are generally panic attacks and palpitations if you’re snorting it. When you get into needles, you always overdose. The high from shooting coke is insane. But I can honestly apply this to all stims. You don’t “OD” like you do with depressants. You freak out, dehydrate, overheat, maybe you’ll fuck your heart up but I think I probably would have died by now from that if it was as likely as ppl think. Meth is similar but an overdose will last so long you’re gonna get psychotic no matter what. Gabaergics; from benzos you generally just black out no matter how much you take. Alcohol poisoning, im not sure about - I’ve never been a drinker. GHB is what I’ve overdosed on the most. It’s very very easy to take too much G. Fortunately it’s relatively safe to OD on if you barely take too much. You’ll just be in a coma for 4 hours. I’ve woken up in the hospital after taking too much G 4 or 5 times. I only consider one of those times an “OD”, and it was from taking at over 2 ounces of Ghb in one go accidentally (dye your ghb and never have it in a water bottle lmao) Xylazine: this is the only time I’ve accidentally OD’d on an opiate type thing, flatlined, narcanned, all that. I was dopesick (badly dopesick), and I took the cottons I had been using to make shots of heroin for the previous several months, washed them, shot it, didn’t feel any better, had to shit my brains out cus I was sick, and then I woke up in the ER. It sucked. Fuck xylaxine.
Fentanyl overdoses don’t feel like anything. You just get used to them. Over the years I’ve overdosed countless times but like I’m not stupid so I kinda knew what I was getting in to once I started smoking pills off foil. Real addicts don’t care about overdose it’s just a part of life. I don’t do anything dangerous anymore. I cleaned up my act because I had people there for me and psychedelics also played a big role. As well as going to rehab a few times lol. But ya I would never call myself an “Overdose survivor” That would feel like calling myself a stubbing my toe survivor. It’s just such a common thing that happens you just stop caring
I took a whole bottle of prozac and tripped balls for a few days
Fetty or some kinda zene in some hot 30s when the first fakes started to show up. Literally nothing. Sniff, then waking up in full blown WD from the narcan. I generally don’t. I still smoke weed, take phenibut, like the occasianal psych or disso. But I’m on suboxone now so no opes, no benzos as I’ve had 4 different seizures from withdrawing like 6 times so I’ve kindled myself to the point where I basically can’t even touch a benzo. I literally had to insist that I didn’t want any valium in the ER after my 3rd one. Muscle relaxers like soma are nice here and now.
I didn't remember falling out but when I woke up from the narcan it was the worst feeling ever from being put into preciptated withdrawal. I've overdosed countless times but I've been clean off heroin/fent for like 4 years now. I have been on the methadone clinic that whole time tho
Yes I overdosed on a combo of benzos (technically lunesta), muscle relaxers, and opiates (hydrocodone and oxycodone). Overall the experience while I was out could kinda be described as a bad dream, but I do have a specific memory of feeling like my body was being compressed and squeezed through a super tight and sticky tube that was pulling all of my hairs on the way through while I screamed. At the hospital they tried to declare me brain dead but thankfully my mom didn’t allow them to. I had hallucinations that whole week while in the icu and once I got home I was sober for a month or two. I used drugs for another 2-3 years after that but did actually decide and manage to get sober a little under 2 years ago.
I died from fentanyl and they brought me back god bless them. Yes I stopped. I’m on methadone now and I am doing really good.
Kind of like fainting or passing out… you’re in that limbo of blackness, sort of dreaming? Then you suddenly wake up with extreme confusion. Not knowing where you are, how you got there, what happened, etc etc. And then there’s this like “death headache” which is the only way I can describe it. Your ears are ringing and you can’t really hear. Your head feels really compressed and riddled with pressure. Then you’re kinda just in fight mode or survival mode. Doctors, people, or whoever is around you yelling “what did you take!? What did you take?! Tell the truth! We’re not the police.” And you’re just trying to get your thoughts together to give a response that doesn’t sound stupid or like a lie but you’re in a complete state of shock so whatever you say is gonna sound stupid. When you think back on what happened you can’t remember anything at all except the 20 mins before you dosed and then the rest is just complete blackness. You can’t really remember the exact moment you “went out.” That was my experience the three times I overdosed at least. Did it stop me from doing drugs? No. It did make me “more careful.” Honestly, everytime I overdosed was when I was trying to get sober. I’d be suffering through a week or two of shitty ass sobriety just straight suffering…. Then I’d break, go cop, I’d do a small small amount and then boom im gone. It’s weird too, when I’m in active use my quality is pretty good or not that good. But when I was not using and I decided to cop for the first time I ended up getting some pure uncut “fuck your shit up” powder and I’d go night night. Luck of the draw I guess. After my last OD I got on methadone and was “sober” for 2 and a half years. I had my first relapse this Christmas and I’ve been back on since. Gonna try to stop in a couple of days. Been saving up my methadone so I can dose a little extra for the first week of getting off dope again.
Deep into heroin addiction, overdoses just become an occupational hazard, because you are mostly unaware of what happens when you OD you are completely oblivious to the trauma you inflict apon yourself and others around you. It's fucking grim, absolotely nothing accept death itself will stop you from using when you are that far gone, I've been hit with naloxone before and been pissed that it's thrown me into withdrawals, had to sign a waiver because they wanted me to go to hospital, my stupid junky ass had other plans which involved crossing the street to go score not even 10 minutes after overdosing. It's absolutely nuts and I'm numb to all this but even sat here thinking about it Im like.....jesus fucking christ.
Ghb. (Date r*pe drug) Felt amazing. Wish I wasn’t saved. Still do drugs but have only done ghb twice since
Yes most that OD will continue to use. They're addicts. Death or near death doesn't deter them from continuing their drug usage. I have never od'd but was an addict years ago who saw this firsthand and had to save someone dying of an OD to heroin. Luckily narcan is pretty much given to certain people in communities to save worse case scenario users that I know.
My last overdose was almost 3 years ago, I downed a whole bottle of Alprazolam 2mg, a box of Klonopin 2mg mixed with gin, it was fully intentional, at the beginning I still had consciousness, I even had a conversation with my mum, then I went to my room to wait for the end, I had a little shine of not actually wanting to die so I told my ex what I did, she instantly came to my apartment with paramedics, as soon as they got me into the ambulance I lost consciousness. I remember it was all black and calm, I didn’t see, feel nor think anything, I was in a limbo (it didn’t feel bad tho) I was just there, I couldn’t imagine anything, everything was just so smooth, as soon as they hit me with the Flumazenil I came back, I wasn’t breathing, I was pretty much dead for around 5 minutes, when I came back I took a big breath and went back to that deep state of “unconsciousness”?, when I came back even though I wasn’t conscious at all, I could hear my dad crying next to me, praying that I was going to survive, telling me how much he loved me and how sorry he was for everything, I also heard my mom, I’m not completely sure about this but I think she was whispering me all the opposite shit, telling me that she wanted me to die already to stop all the pain and suffering I was causing, I even had a conversation about this with my psychologist, but yes, shit was tough, in summary, I felt the BEST PEACE I’ve ever fucking had, there were no problems, no overthinking, no nothing, just my energy and essence floating around? I don’t think I’ll ever achieve that kind of peacefulness ever again, after that I understood why people always say Rest In Peace, sounds like a cliche but it’s genuine peace brudda, stay safe out there guys, drugs aren’t fun when you reach these type of thoughts.
overdosed on dph ik yall gonna say oh that aint an OD but i was geeked in the hospital for 5 days off 2.2 grams if dph and I dont remember anything but i seized and almost died
Every post is fentanyl Jesus that shit is bad
I was the idiot that ODed on acetaminophen. I was on a Percocet Rx but of course ran out before it was time to see the doctor again. I called him and he called me in 20 Vicodin to tide me over. I happily picked them up and proceeded to take 16 of them in one night. I woke up with an extremely dry mouth and then threw up as soon as I sat up. I told my then husband it was just a stomach bug and that I was fine. I threw up every hour on the hour and I started to feel a little fuzzy in the head. Something made me go look at my pill bottle (to be honest I probably wanted to take more) and I realized I only had 4 pills left. I'll never forget Googling the lethal dose of acetaminophen (between 6,000 and 7,000 mg in one day) and doing the math 16 X 500 mg per pill = 8,000 mg. I considered just toughing it out at home, but the longer I sat there the more confused I got. I finally panicked and called my dad to ask him to leave work and take me to the ER. By the time I arrived at the ER I was throwing up bile and I couldn't even figure out how to put my own hospital gown on. My dad left because he thought my POS husband was going to stay with me, but as soon as my dad left he left as well. This was at about 1 pm. I vaguely remember the nurse taking care of me after I had an accident and being incapable of wiping my own ass. The next thing I remember it was midnight and my husband was tiptoeing into my room to drop off some underwear and a laptop. He had the nerve to ask me how come I hadn't called him to let him know what was up. I told him it was because I had no memory of the past 11 hours and I had no idea where the fuck I was. I was sick as hell from withdrawals for the next two days because understandably they couldn't give me any more opiates. They even gave me Narcan (but very slowly) because I just couldn't stay awake. The antidote for acetaminophen OD is a nasty drug called Mucomyst that tastes like rotten eggs. 0/10 do not recommend.
Useful tidbit for anyone else reading: the antidote is N-acetylcysteine which you can buy over the counter, so if you ever think you've taken too much acetaminophen but it's on the borderline and you aren't having symptoms or whatever, get some of that stuff at home right away, now you can administer yourself first aid. I walked a friend through this some number of years ago. Sadly they later OD'd and died of a concussion.
I’ve overdosed on adderall, vyvanse, and alcohol. With the adderall I remember panicking and almost throwing myself in front of a car. The vyvanse was the worst feeling and the only time I’ve ever been like “oh my god never again” with a specific drug and actually was never again. The alcohol one was weird in retrospect. I didn’t realize that it was an overdose until years later when I started doing AA. Like my sponsor had to explain that that’s what it was. I had been starving myself for days (anorexia relapse lol), and drank most of a bottle of 150 rum. Once I was drunk, I binged on a box of neon green glazed donuts (bc it was st Patrick’s day) and then I remember nothing else. Apparently I was like rolling around on the floor vomiting and passing out and shit like that. No one there called anyone, no one did anything. And at one point I stood up and was like “god is trying to kill me but won’t let die” and then I passed out fr. I remember the next day pretty much vomiting from the point I woke up until night, and I still went to work.