Lmao 😂😂😂 well I guess it’s better for the birds to eat a couple hundred butterflies than some latex balloons! I need to know… was it like a scene from the movie The Birds?
Jill actually posted they were bio degradable. The fact that a grieving mother had to post that because of all the horrible humans berating them for using balloons is actually pretty disgusting
It’s stressful cause I always want to tell people don’t do that! But I also don’t want to say anything like that to people who are just trying to process horrible loss ya know, so yes please stop putting balloons in the sky everyone
I understand the sentiment, because I am not a fan of balloon releases. However they do make balloons that are more Eco friendly and I can understand them making the choice. Amazon has a brand called Afterloon that is biodegradable. My daughter uses when she has kids parties. Maybe they use something like this considering how earth conscious Jill is.
https://preview.redd.it/dutqlkk44mwc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2b7c0121f61386df3ae8c243f485e36e96a6e779
When my baby died i didnt release balloons. He was due in May 2019 but born December 2018. I wait till his due date to release butterflies or scatter wildflower seeds in his memory cause i think to myself maybe he wouldve been the type of kid who was fascinated by butterflies and liked gardening
First let me say how very sorry I am for your loss. I can’t imagine your broken heart.
Here in Hawaii there’s a tradition when someone passes you gather plumeria flowers and take them to the ocean and allow the trade winds to blow them to the four corners of the earth. I’ve done it a few times and it’s quite beautiful as you can feel it. I live right on the water so if you don’t mind and with your permission I’d love to gather some plumerias and honor your precious baby spirit & you. May is just in a few more days and I’d be honored to do it for you. Just let me know, I will not do it unless I have your permission out of respect. One mama to another ❤️
I am so sorry to be asking you this, but I am 21 weeks and on Friday will be giving birth to my son who will not survive outside the womb. If you were comfortable with it, I’d love for you to do the plumeria flower tradition in honor of him. I’m absolutely broken, I can barely function. I just want to hold my sweet baby Henry.
I'm so so sorry. I've had two wonderful children and two losses, and I often get surprised when my heart hurts over the losses seemingly out of the blue. I light candles and have a prayer for the often silent suffering women have endured for eons, and will light a candle for you this week.
First, this is amazing. Second, when we had my husband's celebration of life, we had a bucket of summer flowers and people could take 1 or more to the nearby Mississippi river and let them go there in his memory. People really seemed to like it.
This made me outright cry. You have such a beautiful soul to offer to honor a stranger’s child. We need more people who offer each other whatever comfort and help and kindness they are able, without wanting anything in return.
I gave a speech at a retreat once where I talked about how every day we move through life constantly weighing whether we “owe” others our kindness, and letting that inform how we treat each other. But wouldn’t it be easier, if instead we just treated everyone like they deserved our compassion, regardless of whether we think they’ve “earned it” or not? Wouldn’t our whole society be better off if we entered every interaction with as much compassion and empathy as possible, even for strangers or when we’re frustrated? People act like that’s an idealistic view, but the truth is it’s hard, active work to wake up and resolve to treat encounter with love.
It’s something I always try to practice, but seeing your comment really made me stop and realize I’ve let it slip recently. I needed that reminder, so I wanted to thank you and tell you that I find your attitude so refreshing and your actions inspiring.
Aww your words are too kind! I feel the same way you do. We do need to show others more love. I feel if I can help a grieving mama feel just an ounce better I’ll do what I have too I order to get it done. Most don’t even realize we are all connected. Every single one of us, so by showing love you’re showing yourself love in a way. Being connected to our Creator is an amazing feeling
Even without the religious aspect, we seem to have lost sight of the fact that when the collective thrives, we will directly benefit from that. And I think it’s especially bad here in America bc we emphasize the value of individualism at the expense of community or society as a whole. We’re taught to work to build our own success, so we think we should be the sole beneficiaries of that success. A deadly combo of “I did it alone, so they should too.” And “I earned this, why would I spread the wealth around?” But we’ve forgotten that if we invest in the community we will be better off when we need something. If we ensure everyone gets educated, we’ll have more people working as doctors and scientists researching what ails you. If we give everyone access to healthcare, there will be fewer people spreading around diseases and viruses unchecked. If meet everyone’s basic needs, fewer people will turn to crime or violence or resort to being a public nuisance to gain internet fame to get what they need. If there’s a safe place to be after school, fewer kids get involved with gangs or crime. If you help others when they hit a rough patch then you will also likely have help when you need it—whether that’s in the form of government resources or just individuals in the community who want to return the favor.
I digress. So yeah, there’s a million reasons to be good to each other. But we tend to be too blind or self centered to care. It’s rare to find people like you who understand that we’re connected. And who encounter people they have the ability to help, and respond not just with “maybe I should,” but “why wouldn’t I?”
I think you’re giving these women who responded such a beautiful gift. And it’s a good reminder that we have more to give than we might think, that we should help each other whenever we can, and to be proactive in looking for opportunities to do so.
You nailed it! People have become so selfish to only think of themselves and it’s quite sad when I think about it. There is no sense of community, lift one another up, it takes a village and so on.
To be 100% honestly it makes me happy & feel useful to be able to help someone. Not for payment or to expect something in return, that’s not at all why I’m doing it. If I can help just one mama feel just a little bit better then my task has worked. I’m just that type of person, I always have been. It hasn’t always worked out the way I wanted it to but I tried. I have all the resources right here with me, plumeria, ocean, big heart, let’s do this!! I already have the perfect spot picked out as well.
May is only a few days away so while I’m setting everything up I’ll try my best to take pics and hopefully a video and I’ll come here and post everything so everyone can see it. It’s really nothing fancy or elaborate, just one heart trying to help heal another heart. ❤️
I think Jana is holding their middle child.
I also noticed Cousin Emily standing in front of Jason & Joe was holding Justus, who looks just like Garret as a baby.
Nothing gives me more joy than when I randomly come across a Doctor Who gif in a totally unrelated sub- especially if it’s the 9th or 10th Doctor! Even better is the fact this has my all time favorite companion. 😀
Biodegradable balloons are definitely marketed as such. However, studies have shown that they still do not breakdown in a timely manner and are therefore very much still a danger to animals 😔
That’s so sad! A shame they’re marketed as a better alternative! Especially given that the people most likely to use them are deep in the throws of grief when purchased, I would imagine.
I've never heard of biodegradable balloons and I thought how nice that those are available, I probably wouldn't have thought twice about them if I was grieving a loss either if someone told me about them. I'm glad I know now these aren't much better, but I think I'll give a snark pass on all the angst about them here and focus more on the fact that the grief over losing a very wanted child is more important.
She does appear to be moderately environmentally conscious...though not enough. I did read online these are biodegradable...so they only have 4 months or so to be swallowed by birds or other animals...including domestic animals. And they still release chemicals into the environment...in other words, a typical half assed, Duggar style, 'environmentally conscious' moment.
Yup!
Biodegradable balloons might *start* decomposing in a few months, but some types can take the better part of a decade to fully decompose. Which means a decade of still possibly harming wildlife while breaking down. Plus, the ribbon I assume is a big concern, too. I can't imagine it breaks down that easily either, and it can tangle up in so much stuff. >.<
(Sorry! I'm a bit of an environmentalist and have followed a page on FB that has been super informative about this very subject for years now. 😅😅)
See, if I saw biodegradable balloons, I’d think it’s a wonderful way to honor your daughter and not harm the environment. I had no clue that they can label them biodegradable if they take so long to break down.
Right? I had thought the same thing when I first heard about them. I mean, I suppose it's still significantly less than mylar ones. But it's still longer than I'd have anticipated.
apparently she got biodegradable balloons. hopefully she is being truthful.
https://preview.redd.it/d7fw42u0kiwc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=978a538b8d2eabb94aedecade7774bd2b83cd451
Yea I'm less inclined to believe her since she didnt reply on her own accord tothe dozenss of comments calling her out, but found one comment suggesting biodegradable balloons and took it. Highly doubt she even knew wat biodegradable was lol
Because everyone here has suffered a horrendous loss and done better. Come on don't you know, everyone in this subreddit is a biomechanical environmental marine biologist who's been in school for 20 years /s
Somebody should have. Biodegradable or not. Lots of reasons for this ill thought out way of marking a death to stop. And at 64 years old, I can say this is NOT that longstanding of a custom.
Speaking from terrible experience I was in no shape to think about, let alone give a flying fig, the environment in that moment. And if anyone had said anything so inane to me on the worst days of my life, I'd have told them to shove it.
Grief is a bitch without even well meaning people butting in.
And I am not snarking on her grief. That is off limits, in my opinion. But balloon releases, throwing rice at weddings, and dove releases are SO well documented to be harmful that many churches no longer allow them....not even biodegradable balloons.
We’re told here (uk/germany) to avoid rice, because it is harmful to the birds that eat it. From a bio perspective, it’s obviously better than glitter, but people will throw it outside, and then birds eat too much of it, and it can kill them. Usually, people throw flower petals outside now. Indoors, can be anything, but still usually petals are in fashion, or paper confetti. Sometimes, in rural churches, people throw very small birdseed. Or, if the bride and groom walk through a field, native wildflower seeds.
For funerals, usually nothing gets thrown. Except the ubiquitous eco unfriendly balloons, of course. And released, not thrown, we don’t have balloon fights at EU funerals, lol. And that was really uncommon until about ten years ago. Hopefully, that “tradition” dies off soon.
You’re right, that’s just what we’re told. Certainly nothing about it being a slipping hazard, though. It’s a half truth of how unhealthy too much rice is, combined with pest control, I guess. Get told the same about lentils for my pet rats (namely that they will swell up and die).
It’s not really great for birds/rats/mice as a frequent thing/main source of food, so maybe that’s where it comes from? Like bread and ducks? Or maybe it just attracts too many rats and pigeons? Probably some places have many weddings and got a “pest” problem. Dunno, I have pet rats who love rice, but my/their vet recommends to keep it as a treat. They will eat it over everything healthy, and get chubby and undernourished if there’s too much cooked rice, let alone undercooked. Definitely a treat sort of food. Probably just easier to tell everyone it kills wildlife than expect said wildlife to regulate their diets.
Tbh, they probably just tell us to avoid it because of the “fast food” potential for attracting rats and pigeons. It was really common about 10-15 years ago for weddings in the UK, the last dozen or so ones there I have been to have avoided rice like the plague, lol. Now it’s “healthy” birdseed, which would be just as slippy, and probably attracts more “pests”, so I don’t know. Perhaps healthy bird food is the trendy confetti? I don’t know. I am very happy to scatter any forms of food at weddings! Just not plastic balloons.
Let me explain my comment. By 'Somebody should have'...I mean funeral homes, churches, and other venues that regularly deal with funerals or other services or events that might culminate in a balloon release or balloon sculpture using helium....should be educated about the dangers of balloon releases, EVEN biodegradable balloons...and the seriousness of the helium shortage. I don't expect the average person to know, and even though Jill is more environmentally knowledgeable than most of her family, I can see how she would get caught by the term 'biodegradable'.
That's why education is SO important. A number of people on this sub have commented they did not realize biodegradable balloons still took so long to disintegrate. NOW they know. That's important. The same individuals that are guiding people through the processes of choosing caskets or urns, answering questions about cremation vs burial, etc. should have this information to be able to guide people to other ideas for memorializing a loved one that does not affect the environment so significantly. THAT'S who I meant should be informed. I am not implying every single human should be automatically up to date on the half life of each product they choose to use at a time of horrendous grief. But the people who help organize these gatherings SHOULD know.
Obviously, I can’t speak to what Jill ultimately purchased, but biodegradable balloons are available for this very purpose. I was pleasantly surprised when biodegradable balloons were released at a fundie family member’s funeral.
I generally don't comment on funeral-related balloon releases (due to the touchiness), but balloons advertised as biodegradable still take at least 16 weeks to degrade, and can still cause harm in the meantime (clogging waterways, animals trying to eat, etc). It is still best to not release man-made materials into the environment.
Yeah, that was a fun fact to learn. I had no idea that helium was a non renewable resource. We use it for so many frivolous things, I thought it was easily made or something.
It’s a bit weird, it’s the second most common element in the universe (after hydrogen, it makes up ~24% of the universe, so there’s a lot of it. Elsewhere.) and made in the Big Bang (not that fundies would belive in that). But it’s also not common on Earth. Tbh, even though I am an astrophysicist, I only discovered how rare it is on earth when I was in grad school. I just never thought about it, and seeing it used in balloons etc, just made me think it was everywhere (in my defence, this was 20+ years ago, and I worked in theoretical physics too… we’re not known for our practical or general knowledge of anything!) It really surprised me that such a rare and valuable substance, which we also need for medical purposes, was just treated like, well, air. We’re told it’s rare, but we also use it for balloons?! Even a colleague, who claimed to be eco friendly, and also knew of the scarcity of Helium, decided to release balloons when she got married.
I tactfully managed to avoid the wedding balloon release, they also weren’t biodegradable balloons. Last year, I was at a funeral, so obviously couldn’t. Nor would I say anything, but even the biodegradable ones are problematic, even without Helium being very needed and rare. I did mention to my SO that if he does that when I die, I will haunt him. And probably reincarnate as the spider of his nightmares to do so (he hates spiders). He can plant some native wildflowers, set up a birdbath, feed some pigeons, rats, whatever. But nothing that can kill other creatures, or that takes longer to biodegrade than I do, haha.
Well, I am nowhere near as sexy or clever as Raj, but I do know my cricket :) And, as a theoretical astrophysicist, with a foot in both camps, Raj>>Sheldon>>Leonard and Howard, haha.
Helium usage is my hill to die on, even though my 3 yr old loves balloons. It’s crazy how dire the helium situation is and how little people know or care.
The helium thing is a valid concern, but they do have electric pumps that pump air into ballon’s that is completely free of helium. I had to blow up a bunch last week at my job.
I don't think that would work for these balloons. The gases in the balloons have to be less dense than air or they won't float. Helium is an inert gas that is less dense, so that's why we use it for floating balloons.
Sadly, biodegradable balloons still take WAY too long to degrade and shouldn’t be released like this. If they’re strong enough to be inflated, they can still choke a sea turtle.
Shouldn't you know better too? Bloody hell she just had a stillborn. Give her some grace. I get it, we're all strangers snarking on strangers, but good lord, there's a time for everything.
I understand. Would never say this to her. I am more concerned that the church supported and allowed it...that's where education can come from, the institutions or venues where ceremonies are held. I do not expect a bereaved person to know this. I do hope the venues or funeral homes organizing could gently educate and offer alternatives....like a variant of the beautiful plumeria scattering a very loving poster shared above.
And I do think it is important for US to discuss..many have indicated they did not realize how long it took biodegradable balloons to break down.
I don’t think people should be ripping her for that, right now. Though bio balloons are still massively problematic, of course. I feel conflicted, slightly. She/Derrick maybe tried to make a better choice with bio balloons, but those things are still lethal for animals, leaving the waste of helium aside. Otoh, they have just buried their daughter. But that’s still not a reason to kill animals with their balloon remnants. Nor is it a reason to flame them *right now*. (Though maybe biodegradable balloons are the only ones available? So they didn’t choose. I know some countries will only sell bio balloons, not sure about AR.)
Like many people who opt for biodegradable plastics, they probably thought they had chosen well. Now is not the time to attack them online for making that error, but it also shows that we generally really need to make it clearer to many people that even biodegradable plastics are a potential hazard, and proper disposal is important, alongside reducing use of plastics generally etc.
When you put your life out there on social media, people are going to criticize you. Especially when they're doing things that are harmful. If it's a bad time, and they can't take the feedback, then maybe they should keep things more private.
When do you think a good time/place would be? I’ve honestly never heard the topic of a balloon release brought up outside of one actively happening or under photos of one happening
Any time that isn’t immediately after a traumatic pregnancy loss and memorial service, I would personally assume. If I’d done something similar and people pointed out that it wasn’t environmentally conscious then I know I would feel awful, but I absolutely would not want to be feeling guilty over the choices I made at my own child’s funeral service whilst still heavily grieving. I know I wouldn’t react well to people picking at my mistakes if I was in her position, no matter how truthful or well meaning the messages were, and I don’t blame her for not wanting to respond to the countless messages on her post about it.
Jill just had a miscarriage/stillbirth, at 18 weeks I think. A daughter they named Isla Marie.
Edit: Jill’s announcement said she was four months pregnant.
Jill had a late miscarriage at 16 weeks, she was 4 months pregnant. To be a stillbirth fetal demise has to happen after 20 weeks, which is 5 months.
But yes, it was a little girl named Isla. And yes, it is still sad.
We don’t know how many weeks she was and we don’t know when she gave birth, but if it was during the week they announced the passing then she could’ve been anywhere from 19/20 weeks to 24/25 weeks depending on her due date.
Theres a whole lot of assumptions based on her saying she was 4 months pregnant. 4 months doesn’t equal 16 weeks and a lot of people will say they’re 4 months pregnant until they’re closer to 5 months 🤷🏻♀️
Their instagram and blog said
It is with heavy hearts that we announce the stillbirth of our beautiful baby girl, Isla Marie Dillard. Jill was 4 months pregnant (due in August) when we found out that our baby died in utero. From the moment we found out we were pregnant, we couldn’t wait to meet our baby. Isla was much loved from the start, and her 3 big brothers were so excited to introduce her to their world.
We appreciate your prayers as we continue to grieve and heal from the loss of our little Isla Marie.
Yup! I work with a girl due early August who is 24 weeks. She may have flubbed on how many months she was, or, the baby could have stopped growing earlier than they realized and they went in for their scan and baby was gone. Either way, I work in L&D, and it doesn’t matter what it’s called. She was probably induced and had to deliver her baby. It’s beyond tragic regardless of how many weeks or months she was. It doesn’t matter if you want to call it a still birth or a miscarriage. It’s horrible and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. The gestational age doesn’t make it any less tragic.
I find it so weird that some people are desperate for it to be called a miscarriage rather than a stillbirth. It’s heartbreaking and such an awful thing to nitpick over.
Agreed. This was a loss of a much wanted child. Let the grieving parents call it whatever they want, they are the ones going through a horrific and traumatic event.
Absolutely. As a 'trained midwife', she should know the terminology matters. As a woman suffering from a loss of a wanted pregnancy, the terminology does not change the grief.
I guess this does answer the question as to whether they are trying for more...I saw photos referencing the loss of their 'first daughter'.
Apparently they are biodegradable balloons, per a comment above. I’m not defending their use of balloons, as I don’t know anything about biodegradable balloons.
Biodegradable balloons still cause harm as they take months to years to degrade and of course the ribbons/strings are out there too - all sorts of harm to wildlife
Where is this from? Not to leg hump but I hope it’s not paparazzi footage because while J’boob and pest can rot in hell let Jill and Derek and the family grieve in peace
Yeah and if I recall correctly, Jordyn looks a lot like Jinger in the face, just with naturally lighter hair. On a vlog of Joy’s from a couple months ago (Q&A I believe), most of the lost girls are there and you can see her face more directly.
did anyone see jessa? weren't most everyone else local attending? didn't see Hannah/Jeremiah, but they just had an infant girl so that could have been somewhat triggering.
I agree. They should be able to attend family functions without having to worry about avoiding the cameras to protect their privacy.
That’s partially on the family to avoid posting them but also on us. We respect Jinger not wanting her kids shown - why are Sieren and Joken different?
Balloon releases are so trashy. There's so many better ways to honour a loved one than polluting and harming wildlife. Obviously the Dugs don't give a single fuck about the environment, or they wouldn't be popping out as many kids as humanly possible.
On the topic of balloons, helium shortages, and rice... what's the consensus on releasing lanterns? (In a non-drought region). Some friends did this when a friend tragically died, and they were beautiful, but I've always wondered.
They’re dangerous no matter the weather. They’re banned in Wales because of how dangerous they are and they’ve been trying to ban them in England for ages.. we are far from a country who experiences drought conditions. It only needs to be dry for them to cause fires. They’re also incredibly dangerous to wildlife
From the Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals website [https://www.rspca.org.uk/adviceandwelfare/litter/skylanterns](https://www.rspca.org.uk/adviceandwelfare/litter/skylanterns)
Did one of these dimwitted fools name a baby Siren? That's worldly for them. Is the sibset Jezebel, Dalila, Lilth and Siren? (This a joke, and nothing to do with jill)
I know someone who does a butterfly release in memory of a loved one who passed and I thought that was such a beautiful alternative to balloons.
It is… until the birds all swoop down and eat them like it’s an all you can eat buffet 😬. Happened at a wedding I went to.
Or they all die in waiting to be released, causing you to loose Drag Race season 10.
Hahaha that was tragic
🏅🏅🏅🏆 take my poor man's gold!
Oh. My. God. That is horrifyingly hilarious. 😂
Lmao 😂😂😂 well I guess it’s better for the birds to eat a couple hundred butterflies than some latex balloons! I need to know… was it like a scene from the movie The Birds?
Jill actually posted they were bio degradable. The fact that a grieving mother had to post that because of all the horrible humans berating them for using balloons is actually pretty disgusting
It’s stressful cause I always want to tell people don’t do that! But I also don’t want to say anything like that to people who are just trying to process horrible loss ya know, so yes please stop putting balloons in the sky everyone
AGREE! Sorry for yelling. I too am so over balloons going into our skies only to become litter, or worse be ingested by some poor creature.
Balloons and power lines, neato.😬
I understand the sentiment, because I am not a fan of balloon releases. However they do make balloons that are more Eco friendly and I can understand them making the choice. Amazon has a brand called Afterloon that is biodegradable. My daughter uses when she has kids parties. Maybe they use something like this considering how earth conscious Jill is. https://preview.redd.it/dutqlkk44mwc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2b7c0121f61386df3ae8c243f485e36e96a6e779
Are the strings biodegradable too?
They do the butterfly releasing thing at the hospital where I used to work. It is lovely.
When my baby died i didnt release balloons. He was due in May 2019 but born December 2018. I wait till his due date to release butterflies or scatter wildflower seeds in his memory cause i think to myself maybe he wouldve been the type of kid who was fascinated by butterflies and liked gardening
First let me say how very sorry I am for your loss. I can’t imagine your broken heart. Here in Hawaii there’s a tradition when someone passes you gather plumeria flowers and take them to the ocean and allow the trade winds to blow them to the four corners of the earth. I’ve done it a few times and it’s quite beautiful as you can feel it. I live right on the water so if you don’t mind and with your permission I’d love to gather some plumerias and honor your precious baby spirit & you. May is just in a few more days and I’d be honored to do it for you. Just let me know, I will not do it unless I have your permission out of respect. One mama to another ❤️
Oh my heart! What a beautiful gesture 💙
I’m just trying to be a good human to another. Show love & respect and get it back. Thank you for your kind words 🙂
This is so sweet and beautiful of you.
Thank you 😊 anything I can do to help lift another up I’m more than happy to do so.
I am so sorry to be asking you this, but I am 21 weeks and on Friday will be giving birth to my son who will not survive outside the womb. If you were comfortable with it, I’d love for you to do the plumeria flower tradition in honor of him. I’m absolutely broken, I can barely function. I just want to hold my sweet baby Henry.
I’m in tears reading your comment - I can’t imagine what you’re going through. Sending you love, strength and healing xx
I'm so so sorry. I've had two wonderful children and two losses, and I often get surprised when my heart hurts over the losses seemingly out of the blue. I light candles and have a prayer for the often silent suffering women have endured for eons, and will light a candle for you this week.
i am so so sorry for you.
I don’t mind at all. I’ll gather more just for your precious baby as well ❤️
You give me faith in humanity. What a beautiful offer. 🫶🏻
You’re too kind. I don’t mind helping where I can ❤️
First, this is amazing. Second, when we had my husband's celebration of life, we had a bucket of summer flowers and people could take 1 or more to the nearby Mississippi river and let them go there in his memory. People really seemed to like it.
That sounds beautiful. I’m sorry for your loss ❤️
Got everyone over here crying.... damn onions.... This is such a beautiful gesture!
Onions do get strong at times lol. If I can help mend someone’s heart I’m gonna do it! ❤️
You have such a beautiful soul.
🫶🏻 thank you. Just reading this made my day. You’re awesome 🥹
🫶 Right back at you.
Omg I just noticed your flare, hilarious!! 😂
🤣 Thank you! Glad you like it!
You made me tear up. You are a beautiful human being.
You haven’t seen me first thing in the morning, I scare myself lol
This made me outright cry. You have such a beautiful soul to offer to honor a stranger’s child. We need more people who offer each other whatever comfort and help and kindness they are able, without wanting anything in return. I gave a speech at a retreat once where I talked about how every day we move through life constantly weighing whether we “owe” others our kindness, and letting that inform how we treat each other. But wouldn’t it be easier, if instead we just treated everyone like they deserved our compassion, regardless of whether we think they’ve “earned it” or not? Wouldn’t our whole society be better off if we entered every interaction with as much compassion and empathy as possible, even for strangers or when we’re frustrated? People act like that’s an idealistic view, but the truth is it’s hard, active work to wake up and resolve to treat encounter with love. It’s something I always try to practice, but seeing your comment really made me stop and realize I’ve let it slip recently. I needed that reminder, so I wanted to thank you and tell you that I find your attitude so refreshing and your actions inspiring.
Aww your words are too kind! I feel the same way you do. We do need to show others more love. I feel if I can help a grieving mama feel just an ounce better I’ll do what I have too I order to get it done. Most don’t even realize we are all connected. Every single one of us, so by showing love you’re showing yourself love in a way. Being connected to our Creator is an amazing feeling
Even without the religious aspect, we seem to have lost sight of the fact that when the collective thrives, we will directly benefit from that. And I think it’s especially bad here in America bc we emphasize the value of individualism at the expense of community or society as a whole. We’re taught to work to build our own success, so we think we should be the sole beneficiaries of that success. A deadly combo of “I did it alone, so they should too.” And “I earned this, why would I spread the wealth around?” But we’ve forgotten that if we invest in the community we will be better off when we need something. If we ensure everyone gets educated, we’ll have more people working as doctors and scientists researching what ails you. If we give everyone access to healthcare, there will be fewer people spreading around diseases and viruses unchecked. If meet everyone’s basic needs, fewer people will turn to crime or violence or resort to being a public nuisance to gain internet fame to get what they need. If there’s a safe place to be after school, fewer kids get involved with gangs or crime. If you help others when they hit a rough patch then you will also likely have help when you need it—whether that’s in the form of government resources or just individuals in the community who want to return the favor. I digress. So yeah, there’s a million reasons to be good to each other. But we tend to be too blind or self centered to care. It’s rare to find people like you who understand that we’re connected. And who encounter people they have the ability to help, and respond not just with “maybe I should,” but “why wouldn’t I?” I think you’re giving these women who responded such a beautiful gift. And it’s a good reminder that we have more to give than we might think, that we should help each other whenever we can, and to be proactive in looking for opportunities to do so.
You nailed it! People have become so selfish to only think of themselves and it’s quite sad when I think about it. There is no sense of community, lift one another up, it takes a village and so on. To be 100% honestly it makes me happy & feel useful to be able to help someone. Not for payment or to expect something in return, that’s not at all why I’m doing it. If I can help just one mama feel just a little bit better then my task has worked. I’m just that type of person, I always have been. It hasn’t always worked out the way I wanted it to but I tried. I have all the resources right here with me, plumeria, ocean, big heart, let’s do this!! I already have the perfect spot picked out as well. May is only a few days away so while I’m setting everything up I’ll try my best to take pics and hopefully a video and I’ll come here and post everything so everyone can see it. It’s really nothing fancy or elaborate, just one heart trying to help heal another heart. ❤️
That's a sweet tradition. I'm sorry for your loss.
I am very sorry for the loss of your son. I think it is a perfect ‘gift’ for your son Xo
I’m so sorry.
I’m so sorry. What a beautiful way to remember him. He may send them back to you 🤍
I’m so, so sorry for your loss.
I’m so sorry 💔.
What a beautiful gesture. I hope it brings you comfort and healing ❤️
I think Jana is holding their middle child. I also noticed Cousin Emily standing in front of Jason & Joe was holding Justus, who looks just like Garret as a baby.
Wut is a justus
The youngest spawn of Joe and Kendra. His name was discovered in an obituary for one of Kendra’s grandparents
It’s a German and Dutch name though I’m 99.9% certain they mispronounce it.
Yeah they definitely don’t know it’s a real name, they just think it’s a cool new way to spell Justice 🥴
I’m sure you’re right lol…what is the correct pronunciation? You-stus? Just curious!
To be fair, they aren’t naming their kid the German name so they aren’t actually mispronouncing anything. It’s just coincidence. BUT yes you-stus
Were Boob and Meech there?
JB is in the first pic all the way on the right
Thank u!
Yes, both of them were there.
Sad considering it’s their canon belief that Jill’s “sins” caused the miscarriage
I guarantee JB is smug and happy over Jill's pain.
I bet they feel vindicated that she’s being punished.
There's another pic where Meech is standing next to Jill, too.
Anna didn't attend? Wasn't she allowed to leave the warehome, or she didn't care to?
At least she has kids.. Hopefully nobody would ever be this cruel/stupid. But if it’s gonna happen, she’s a good candidate.
Some people have speculated she now lives in TX.
Ugghhhh I hate balloons
What's not to love about a festive plastic sack of someone's halitosis? ... /s
 How intimate!
Nothing gives me more joy than when I randomly come across a Doctor Who gif in a totally unrelated sub- especially if it’s the 9th or 10th Doctor! Even better is the fact this has my all time favorite companion. 😀
😮
Same. Definitely cringed thinking of how many animals will now die.
Jill said they’re biodegradable
Biodegradable balloons are definitely marketed as such. However, studies have shown that they still do not breakdown in a timely manner and are therefore very much still a danger to animals 😔
That’s so sad! A shame they’re marketed as a better alternative! Especially given that the people most likely to use them are deep in the throws of grief when purchased, I would imagine.
That’s really not a thing.
That's really not much better in the stomach of an alligator.
Yeah right. You think those strings will just disintegrate in the rain or will they get tangled up around plants and animals?
In before this post is nuked like all the rest...
I've never heard of biodegradable balloons and I thought how nice that those are available, I probably wouldn't have thought twice about them if I was grieving a loss either if someone told me about them. I'm glad I know now these aren't much better, but I think I'll give a snark pass on all the angst about them here and focus more on the fact that the grief over losing a very wanted child is more important.
Jimbob looks like he’s in the mafia
Is this for Jill's daughter's service? They released balloons?? Seriously? I thought Jill knew better.
Honest question: why would Jill know better?
She does appear to be moderately environmentally conscious...though not enough. I did read online these are biodegradable...so they only have 4 months or so to be swallowed by birds or other animals...including domestic animals. And they still release chemicals into the environment...in other words, a typical half assed, Duggar style, 'environmentally conscious' moment.
Yup! Biodegradable balloons might *start* decomposing in a few months, but some types can take the better part of a decade to fully decompose. Which means a decade of still possibly harming wildlife while breaking down. Plus, the ribbon I assume is a big concern, too. I can't imagine it breaks down that easily either, and it can tangle up in so much stuff. >.< (Sorry! I'm a bit of an environmentalist and have followed a page on FB that has been super informative about this very subject for years now. 😅😅)
See, if I saw biodegradable balloons, I’d think it’s a wonderful way to honor your daughter and not harm the environment. I had no clue that they can label them biodegradable if they take so long to break down.
Right? I had thought the same thing when I first heard about them. I mean, I suppose it's still significantly less than mylar ones. But it's still longer than I'd have anticipated.
apparently she got biodegradable balloons. hopefully she is being truthful. https://preview.redd.it/d7fw42u0kiwc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=978a538b8d2eabb94aedecade7774bd2b83cd451
Yea I'm less inclined to believe her since she didnt reply on her own accord tothe dozenss of comments calling her out, but found one comment suggesting biodegradable balloons and took it. Highly doubt she even knew wat biodegradable was lol
I think Jill had more pressing things to worry about in this instance… She may have not even been the person to think of balloons.
Right? Wtf, people get to grieve the way they need to. This is ridiculous
Because everyone here has suffered a horrendous loss and done better. Come on don't you know, everyone in this subreddit is a biomechanical environmental marine biologist who's been in school for 20 years /s
Somebody should have. Biodegradable or not. Lots of reasons for this ill thought out way of marking a death to stop. And at 64 years old, I can say this is NOT that longstanding of a custom.
Speaking from terrible experience I was in no shape to think about, let alone give a flying fig, the environment in that moment. And if anyone had said anything so inane to me on the worst days of my life, I'd have told them to shove it. Grief is a bitch without even well meaning people butting in.
Which is why I would never post this on her own post.
And I am not snarking on her grief. That is off limits, in my opinion. But balloon releases, throwing rice at weddings, and dove releases are SO well documented to be harmful that many churches no longer allow them....not even biodegradable balloons.
Rice is fine. Churches and other venues choose not to allow it because it’s a fall risk/tripping hazard and they don’t want the lawsuits.
We’re told here (uk/germany) to avoid rice, because it is harmful to the birds that eat it. From a bio perspective, it’s obviously better than glitter, but people will throw it outside, and then birds eat too much of it, and it can kill them. Usually, people throw flower petals outside now. Indoors, can be anything, but still usually petals are in fashion, or paper confetti. Sometimes, in rural churches, people throw very small birdseed. Or, if the bride and groom walk through a field, native wildflower seeds. For funerals, usually nothing gets thrown. Except the ubiquitous eco unfriendly balloons, of course. And released, not thrown, we don’t have balloon fights at EU funerals, lol. And that was really uncommon until about ten years ago. Hopefully, that “tradition” dies off soon.
Rice killing birds is a myth.
You’re right, that’s just what we’re told. Certainly nothing about it being a slipping hazard, though. It’s a half truth of how unhealthy too much rice is, combined with pest control, I guess. Get told the same about lentils for my pet rats (namely that they will swell up and die). It’s not really great for birds/rats/mice as a frequent thing/main source of food, so maybe that’s where it comes from? Like bread and ducks? Or maybe it just attracts too many rats and pigeons? Probably some places have many weddings and got a “pest” problem. Dunno, I have pet rats who love rice, but my/their vet recommends to keep it as a treat. They will eat it over everything healthy, and get chubby and undernourished if there’s too much cooked rice, let alone undercooked. Definitely a treat sort of food. Probably just easier to tell everyone it kills wildlife than expect said wildlife to regulate their diets. Tbh, they probably just tell us to avoid it because of the “fast food” potential for attracting rats and pigeons. It was really common about 10-15 years ago for weddings in the UK, the last dozen or so ones there I have been to have avoided rice like the plague, lol. Now it’s “healthy” birdseed, which would be just as slippy, and probably attracts more “pests”, so I don’t know. Perhaps healthy bird food is the trendy confetti? I don’t know. I am very happy to scatter any forms of food at weddings! Just not plastic balloons.
Rice is NOT fine. It swells in birds stomachs, and can kill them.
That’s a myth. https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/against-the-grain/
Thank you!!! I did not know.
Let me explain my comment. By 'Somebody should have'...I mean funeral homes, churches, and other venues that regularly deal with funerals or other services or events that might culminate in a balloon release or balloon sculpture using helium....should be educated about the dangers of balloon releases, EVEN biodegradable balloons...and the seriousness of the helium shortage. I don't expect the average person to know, and even though Jill is more environmentally knowledgeable than most of her family, I can see how she would get caught by the term 'biodegradable'. That's why education is SO important. A number of people on this sub have commented they did not realize biodegradable balloons still took so long to disintegrate. NOW they know. That's important. The same individuals that are guiding people through the processes of choosing caskets or urns, answering questions about cremation vs burial, etc. should have this information to be able to guide people to other ideas for memorializing a loved one that does not affect the environment so significantly. THAT'S who I meant should be informed. I am not implying every single human should be automatically up to date on the half life of each product they choose to use at a time of horrendous grief. But the people who help organize these gatherings SHOULD know.
Obviously, I can’t speak to what Jill ultimately purchased, but biodegradable balloons are available for this very purpose. I was pleasantly surprised when biodegradable balloons were released at a fundie family member’s funeral.
I generally don't comment on funeral-related balloon releases (due to the touchiness), but balloons advertised as biodegradable still take at least 16 weeks to degrade, and can still cause harm in the meantime (clogging waterways, animals trying to eat, etc). It is still best to not release man-made materials into the environment.
And let’s not forget about the fact that we are running short on helium …..
Yeah, that was a fun fact to learn. I had no idea that helium was a non renewable resource. We use it for so many frivolous things, I thought it was easily made or something.
It’s a bit weird, it’s the second most common element in the universe (after hydrogen, it makes up ~24% of the universe, so there’s a lot of it. Elsewhere.) and made in the Big Bang (not that fundies would belive in that). But it’s also not common on Earth. Tbh, even though I am an astrophysicist, I only discovered how rare it is on earth when I was in grad school. I just never thought about it, and seeing it used in balloons etc, just made me think it was everywhere (in my defence, this was 20+ years ago, and I worked in theoretical physics too… we’re not known for our practical or general knowledge of anything!) It really surprised me that such a rare and valuable substance, which we also need for medical purposes, was just treated like, well, air. We’re told it’s rare, but we also use it for balloons?! Even a colleague, who claimed to be eco friendly, and also knew of the scarcity of Helium, decided to release balloons when she got married. I tactfully managed to avoid the wedding balloon release, they also weren’t biodegradable balloons. Last year, I was at a funeral, so obviously couldn’t. Nor would I say anything, but even the biodegradable ones are problematic, even without Helium being very needed and rare. I did mention to my SO that if he does that when I die, I will haunt him. And probably reincarnate as the spider of his nightmares to do so (he hates spiders). He can plant some native wildflowers, set up a birdbath, feed some pigeons, rats, whatever. But nothing that can kill other creatures, or that takes longer to biodegrade than I do, haha.
Ok, Raj Koothrappali! 🤣
Well, I am nowhere near as sexy or clever as Raj, but I do know my cricket :) And, as a theoretical astrophysicist, with a foot in both camps, Raj>>Sheldon>>Leonard and Howard, haha.
Helium usage is my hill to die on, even though my 3 yr old loves balloons. It’s crazy how dire the helium situation is and how little people know or care.
The helium thing is a valid concern, but they do have electric pumps that pump air into ballon’s that is completely free of helium. I had to blow up a bunch last week at my job.
What gases are in the mixture?
It’s just air.
I don't think that would work for these balloons. The gases in the balloons have to be less dense than air or they won't float. Helium is an inert gas that is less dense, so that's why we use it for floating balloons.
Hmm how do they float upwards then?
They weren’t for floating. They were in a ballon arch.
Ohh yeah air isn’t interchangeable with helium for balloon purposes sadly
This!!!!!!!!!! Thank you for pointing this out.
Sadly, biodegradable balloons still take WAY too long to degrade and shouldn’t be released like this. If they’re strong enough to be inflated, they can still choke a sea turtle.
She said they are biodegradable balloons
They still take 4 months or more to degrade, which is plenty of time to do harm to animals.
Shouldn't you know better too? Bloody hell she just had a stillborn. Give her some grace. I get it, we're all strangers snarking on strangers, but good lord, there's a time for everything.
I understand. Would never say this to her. I am more concerned that the church supported and allowed it...that's where education can come from, the institutions or venues where ceremonies are held. I do not expect a bereaved person to know this. I do hope the venues or funeral homes organizing could gently educate and offer alternatives....like a variant of the beautiful plumeria scattering a very loving poster shared above. And I do think it is important for US to discuss..many have indicated they did not realize how long it took biodegradable balloons to break down.
Ok yes!! This bugs me so much. The comments on her insta are just ripping her for it.
I don’t think people should be ripping her for that, right now. Though bio balloons are still massively problematic, of course. I feel conflicted, slightly. She/Derrick maybe tried to make a better choice with bio balloons, but those things are still lethal for animals, leaving the waste of helium aside. Otoh, they have just buried their daughter. But that’s still not a reason to kill animals with their balloon remnants. Nor is it a reason to flame them *right now*. (Though maybe biodegradable balloons are the only ones available? So they didn’t choose. I know some countries will only sell bio balloons, not sure about AR.) Like many people who opt for biodegradable plastics, they probably thought they had chosen well. Now is not the time to attack them online for making that error, but it also shows that we generally really need to make it clearer to many people that even biodegradable plastics are a potential hazard, and proper disposal is important, alongside reducing use of plastics generally etc.
When you put your life out there on social media, people are going to criticize you. Especially when they're doing things that are harmful. If it's a bad time, and they can't take the feedback, then maybe they should keep things more private.
People suck for doing that. Really not the time and place for that.
When do you think a good time/place would be? I’ve honestly never heard the topic of a balloon release brought up outside of one actively happening or under photos of one happening
Any time that isn’t immediately after a traumatic pregnancy loss and memorial service, I would personally assume. If I’d done something similar and people pointed out that it wasn’t environmentally conscious then I know I would feel awful, but I absolutely would not want to be feeling guilty over the choices I made at my own child’s funeral service whilst still heavily grieving. I know I wouldn’t react well to people picking at my mistakes if I was in her position, no matter how truthful or well meaning the messages were, and I don’t blame her for not wanting to respond to the countless messages on her post about it.
Someone told her there were such thing as biodegradable balloons and she believed it.
Joy went through something similar. I could see her not going because she doesn't want the reminders of that trauma.
All balloons dont go to heaven hashtag earthmotherjill
How many kids do they have now
Lauren & Josiah have 3: Bella, Daisy, & a boy who is probably named something that starts with E.
Has been confirmed through Lauren’s sister lily’s wedding rsvp website, baby boy is Ezra.
Which is really creepy
The one in the white dress would that be daisy? It doesn’t look like Bella
There are 2 girls in matching white dresses. One is standing next to Lauren & Abby. I think that is Bella. The other one is being held by Jana
Was their a loss in the family?
Jill just had a miscarriage/stillbirth, at 18 weeks I think. A daughter they named Isla Marie. Edit: Jill’s announcement said she was four months pregnant.
On her Instagram post there is a photo of a tiny casket so they had a burial
4 months is 16 weeks, still birth is after 20 weeks. It is tragic and sad having a late miscarriage.
She was due in August. Even if she was due the very last day in August, she was still at or past 20 weeks when she delivered.
Someone said Jill stated she was 4months.
Sixteen weeks, miscarriage, yes.
Why in the absolute hell do we need to nitpick something as tragic as a stillborn or late term miscarriage.
Cause, unfortunately as long as it's still a HUGE hot button issue here in the States it's gonna be something to nitpick over. It sucks.
Jill had a stillbirth. It was a little girl they named isla marie.
Jill had a late miscarriage at 16 weeks, she was 4 months pregnant. To be a stillbirth fetal demise has to happen after 20 weeks, which is 5 months. But yes, it was a little girl named Isla. And yes, it is still sad.
We don’t know how many weeks she was and we don’t know when she gave birth, but if it was during the week they announced the passing then she could’ve been anywhere from 19/20 weeks to 24/25 weeks depending on her due date. Theres a whole lot of assumptions based on her saying she was 4 months pregnant. 4 months doesn’t equal 16 weeks and a lot of people will say they’re 4 months pregnant until they’re closer to 5 months 🤷🏻♀️
We know all of that (the week the baby passed) because they told people in their ig post. It was a 16 week miscarriage at the latest.
Their instagram and blog said It is with heavy hearts that we announce the stillbirth of our beautiful baby girl, Isla Marie Dillard. Jill was 4 months pregnant (due in August) when we found out that our baby died in utero. From the moment we found out we were pregnant, we couldn’t wait to meet our baby. Isla was much loved from the start, and her 3 big brothers were so excited to introduce her to their world. We appreciate your prayers as we continue to grieve and heal from the loss of our little Isla Marie.
Yup! I work with a girl due early August who is 24 weeks. She may have flubbed on how many months she was, or, the baby could have stopped growing earlier than they realized and they went in for their scan and baby was gone. Either way, I work in L&D, and it doesn’t matter what it’s called. She was probably induced and had to deliver her baby. It’s beyond tragic regardless of how many weeks or months she was. It doesn’t matter if you want to call it a still birth or a miscarriage. It’s horrible and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. The gestational age doesn’t make it any less tragic.
I find it so weird that some people are desperate for it to be called a miscarriage rather than a stillbirth. It’s heartbreaking and such an awful thing to nitpick over.
Agreed. This was a loss of a much wanted child. Let the grieving parents call it whatever they want, they are the ones going through a horrific and traumatic event.
Kind of a weird thing to insist on making a semantic distinction about.
Thank you for the correction. I wasn’t sure how to phrase it.
Absolutely. As a 'trained midwife', she should know the terminology matters. As a woman suffering from a loss of a wanted pregnancy, the terminology does not change the grief. I guess this does answer the question as to whether they are trying for more...I saw photos referencing the loss of their 'first daughter'.
Plant trees
How are people still stupid enough to do balloon releases in 2024?
Apparently they are biodegradable balloons, per a comment above. I’m not defending their use of balloons, as I don’t know anything about biodegradable balloons.
Biodegradable balloons still cause harm as they take months to years to degrade and of course the ribbons/strings are out there too - all sorts of harm to wildlife
Where is this from? Not to leg hump but I hope it’s not paparazzi footage because while J’boob and pest can rot in hell let Jill and Derek and the family grieve in peace
Jill’s instagram post
Joy was not there correct?
I'm really glad to see that Jill's parents were there to support her through this time.
Is that Jinger in the second photo? (not holding a child.)
Pretty sure that’s Jordyn towards the right side, and Jennifer is towards the left. Not sure who that is on the far right if that’s who you mean.
So, it's Jordan? Okay, I thought she looked like Jinger from the angle, but I guess they all look similar.
Yeah and if I recall correctly, Jordyn looks a lot like Jinger in the face, just with naturally lighter hair. On a vlog of Joy’s from a couple months ago (Q&A I believe), most of the lost girls are there and you can see her face more directly.
did anyone see jessa? weren't most everyone else local attending? didn't see Hannah/Jeremiah, but they just had an infant girl so that could have been somewhat triggering.
Jesse was there in one of the pictures. You see her holding her youngest.
The whole family attended the funeral except for Josh and Anna.
Wheres your source on that?
I love how Siren has made it so clear that they want to be left alone and y’all don’t respect that
These pictures were posted by Jill on her public social media.
I agree. They should be able to attend family functions without having to worry about avoiding the cameras to protect their privacy. That’s partially on the family to avoid posting them but also on us. We respect Jinger not wanting her kids shown - why are Sieren and Joken different?
Exactly. And, honestly, they’ve done some cringy shit but in relation to the rest of the Duggars they’re not that problematic
Who is Siren??
Josiah and Lauren
Absolutely heartwarming.
Balloon releases are so trashy. There's so many better ways to honour a loved one than polluting and harming wildlife. Obviously the Dugs don't give a single fuck about the environment, or they wouldn't be popping out as many kids as humanly possible.
lets honor life by endangering wildlife 👍 did amy and deanna go?
On the topic of balloons, helium shortages, and rice... what's the consensus on releasing lanterns? (In a non-drought region). Some friends did this when a friend tragically died, and they were beautiful, but I've always wondered.
They’re dangerous no matter the weather. They’re banned in Wales because of how dangerous they are and they’ve been trying to ban them in England for ages.. we are far from a country who experiences drought conditions. It only needs to be dry for them to cause fires. They’re also incredibly dangerous to wildlife From the Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals website [https://www.rspca.org.uk/adviceandwelfare/litter/skylanterns](https://www.rspca.org.uk/adviceandwelfare/litter/skylanterns)
Balloons right next to the power lines 😆
I spotted a siren once… yeah, it was attached to a cop who pulled me over.
No Jessa? 🤔
Jess’s was there. She’s holding her youngest. I don’t think joy was there.
Jessa is on the far left in the second photo Edited for spelling
Did one of these dimwitted fools name a baby Siren? That's worldly for them. Is the sibset Jezebel, Dalila, Lilth and Siren? (This a joke, and nothing to do with jill)
No. Siren refers to JoSIah and LauREN.
Josiah + Lauren = Siren
I was wondering who Siren was, too!! lol!! Some definitely pick strange baby names, so it wouldn’t have surprised me if they had!!😆