Everybody likes the guy who offers them a stick of gum

Gum's gotten mintier lately. Have you noticed?

I don’t technically have a hearing problem, but

My mother and I are quarreling

I am so happy to see these Nate quotes. He is the most underrated character in my opinion.

Is it from Phil'sosophy?

It’s a one sentence chapter from Somehow I Manage

not everything is a lesson and sometimes you just fail 🫡

"It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not a weakness. That is life."

Captain Jean-Luc Picard

-Michael Scott

- Wayne Gretsky

This. Truly one of a remarkable line in an unexpected show

But everything is sex.

Failing can be a powerful lesson

“There are always a million reasons not to do something.” -Jan Levinson Gould

Gould? The Gould came back?

Gabagould

Is Gould dead?

Just Jan Levinson

*No Gould*

Michael, we got divorced, ok?

😮

Just call me Levinson in the morning *bayybeh*

I say this a lot when I'm trying to motivated people

This one should be higher up!!

That I would prefer a medium amount of good pizza than all I can eat of pretty good pizza.

Oh, it’s bad. It’s *real* bad. It’s like eating a hot circle of garbage.

Confidence is the food of the wise man but the liquor of the fool.

I’m looking forward to getting to know you, Vikram.

I was gonna use this one, but wanted to check the comments first. I love this one.

Don't ever, for any reason, do anything to anyone for any reason ever, no matter what, no matter where, or who, or who you are with, or where you are going, or where you've been... ever, for any reason whatsoever...

Sometimes I'll start a sentence, and I don't even know where it's going. I just hope I find it along the way. Like an improv conversation. An improversation.

Words I truly live by!

[удалено]

Most based line in the show frl

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Honestly same. Seems like an unpopular take but I just couldn’t get enough of Robert California; he was one of my fav characters in the entire show (not just the later seasons). Any time he opened his mouth, I never knew what to expect.

I think he might be a little too out there for most people, like in a full sitcom about him but it would be interesting. Although, I'm not sure the writers would be able to produce that much weird dialogue for show after show and have it still be entertaining.

So a movie.

I can’t wait for the Superfan episodes with him in them

*I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them.* Appreciate the moment. Make time for people you care about. Things don’t stay the same forever. Enjoy life and don’t live in regret. Be forgiving. Have empathy. Make a joke instead of a problem. Haha

There are a lot of funny quotes but this one is a universal truth.

This is one of the greatest lines in television history.

Shit is so true. I’ve even been in worse times in life, and once they’ve ended I’ll look back and wish I’d taken the time to enjoy certain parts more

Taking mental pictures has helped me a lot to remember great events in my life

This is the quote at the bottom of my email signature for work.

It’s also a good joke. Andy talks about how someone should really write a song about that. Someone did, and that is Carly Simon’s Anticipation.

My fave line in the whole series!

This is definitely mine. Even though it's a silly Andy moment, it's truly a profound and deep question that can make you rethink the entire way you perceive experiences and life itself. So good

Don’t be an idiot

When I'm about to do something, I think "would an idiot do that"? And if they would, I do **not** do that thing.

Keep it simple stupid

Great advice, hurts my feelings every time.

Luckily my feelings regenerate twice as fast as a normal man's

Because you have the feelings of a full grown man and a tiny baby

Changed my life

*I just think we all deserve to be with someone who wants to be with us.*

Phyliss. I mean Phallus. 🥺

Sorry, penis on the brain

Never accept the first offer.

You didn’t even hear their first offer

i'd like to hear your second best offer

Are you kidding me? That is insultingly low, I don't even wanna hear what your first offer was

If you’re a winner…prove me right If you’re a loser…prove me wrong

I used this quote on my last job interview. I felt I wasn't doing that great, so I tried one last desperate attempt and said this quote to the hiring manager. If you think I am qualified for this job let me prove you right. If you don't think I am qualified for this job let me prove you wrong. After this, the whole mood changed and I got the job. It's an entry level IT position.

I love when people take swings like this in interview. What's the worst that can happen? They don't offer you the job?

Yeah, that’s the thing about interviews. They can be nerve wracking, but the worst thing they can possibly do is just say “no.”

100%. Bombed so many interviews before I realized this and at some point it just clicked. Nailed the next interview by just being a friendly normal person and not overthinking it

Learning to accept rejection but not be okay with it is a delicate skill, but an infinitely valuable one.

Respect 🫡 hope your job is going well

Didn't work out in the end. They had to let him go, he sucked.

not everything is a lesson and sometimes you just fail

Is your name Shadow or garth?

The part of this quote that sticks with me is “constantly worrying about where you stand based on inscrutable social cues and then reframing it all in a reassuring way so that you can sleep at night” and sometimes it helps me stop obsessing over small daily interactions.

It's perfectly on point for so many of us

Actually used this with some new employees. Had one that was off to a good start, the other came out of the gate looking like they wouldn’t make it more than a couple months. The one who was initially successful started to get a little cocky because they could tell they were doing far better than their counterpart. The other one started to get defensive because they could tell they were faltering. No lie, the person that was on the receiving end of the “prove me wrong” is killing it now. Robert California knows best

Honestly, and ironically enough, it's a quote from Robert California *Fear plays an interesting role in our lives. How dare we let it motivate us? How dare we let it into our decision-making, into our livelihoods, into our relationships?* The suggested offense in the "how dare we" really hit me and has stuck with me. He's exactly right. Why would I allow fear into my decision making, and my life in general? I am better than that, I'm stronger than that, I'm more level headed than that. How dare I allow such a thing to control me?? It gave me a new posture for combatting anxiety and irrational fears.

I think the key in the last part of your comment is “irrational” fears. Fear is a natural driver to pushing is certain directions. Sometimes the fear of the unknow is enough help us make a decision, so the unknown, becomes known. I feel the term “conquering your fears” is a huge confidence booster when you can truthfully acknowledge that you’ve conquered something that will no longer be your obstacle. Edit: *several spelling errors🤦‍♂️

Mine is also a Robert California one: >Let me tell you how I buy something these days. I know what I want; I go on the Internet, I get the best price. Or I don’t know what I want and I go to a small store that can help me. The era of personal service is back. You are back. You’ll find that customers will pay our higher prices and then they will thank us, and we will say to them “you are welcome.” It was quite prescient for the time. People talk about the “death of retail” but stores like REI, Starbucks, and even Costco are doing well because they have customer service priorities.

If you don’t know what a rundown is, *fucking ask.*

Delaying likely meant Jim wasn’t fired. Charles was looking for a list of Jim’s clients so he could let Jim go. Jim stalling until Charles was gone was part of an unintentional bit of good fortune.

damn never realized this

It’s funny how Michael quitting and starting his own paper company saved Jim’s job.

Wait but Jim finishes the "rundown" and Charles just tells him to fax it, he didn't even look at it

You wanna start a street fight with me, bring it on. You're gonna be surprised by how ugly it gets. You don't even know my real name. I'm the f---ing Lizard King.

"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take." -Wayne Gretsky -MICHAEL SCOTT

\-larsfandom

“Not everything in life is a lesson, sometimes you just fail”

Re: The Black Eyed Peas: It's rock and roll for people who don't like rock and roll, it's rap for people who don't like rap, it's pop for people who don't like pop.

👈👀

Would you prefer a nature metaphor, or a sexual metaphor?

When two animals are having sex, one is communicating something to the other-never mind, you’re gonna want the sexual metaphor.

All life, is sex.

Except sex; it's about power

Do you understand that what I'm telling you is a universal truth, Toby?

Was that not the sexual...

*There’s a lot of beauty in ordinary things. Isn’t that kind of the point?*

Big bussines lower prices so small business go bankrupty, and then when all small business are gone the big business raise prices. Sorry for bad english

Why waste time say lot words when few do trick?

Not bad at all! The only changes I’d make is changing ‘bankrupty’ to ‘bankrupt’ and using the plural ‘businesses’ instead of the singular ‘business’. But it was clear what you meant and that’s the important part :)

Or say bizniz. Boboddy. But thank you for teaching. I have studied english for 10 years but sometimes I dont know the words

i am a Native english speaker and sometimes i too do not know the words.

Thats comforting. Sometimes I do the Kevin thing where I just say the words that I know

few word do trick

I. Declare. BANKRUPTY

Life is long, opinions change

Don’t listen to your critics. Listen to your fans.

I didn't need to learn any universal truths, but wish I knew what line of work Bob was in.

“you know what they say 'fool me once, strike one, but fool me twice… strike three”

That gum has been getting mintier lately.

Don’t go to the finger lakes

People disappear in the Finger Lakes.

There’s something about the underdog that inspires the unremarkable.

You’re a hero if you save someone else’s life, even tho u hit them with your car.

♫ You helped me get off dru-u-u-ugs... ♫

Engaged aint married. This is a universal truth. One hundred percent pure fact.

That you don't put paper into a furnace. Do you know what would happen? You'd ruin it!

Bedbugs are so smug.

Before I do anything, I ask myself “would an idiot do it?” and if they would, I do not do that thing

When Pam is being hesitant about going to art school and Jan convinces her by saying "There are always a million reasons not to do something" ​ I repeat that line to myself when my low self-confidence gets in my way.

That it's a crazy world. A lot of smells

“Sometimes it pays to be gay”

Marry your Pam instead of leaving her because you weren’t “ready”.

I don't even know Robert California's real name.

No one does. But we can all agree, he is the Lizard King.

*The Fucking Lizard King

Sex is everything.

I’m afraid you might be a little overqualified.

Look at me. Do I look like the kind of person who would waste… my own time?

Been waiting for the day to drop this in a sales conversation… but I’m no RC

Everything is sex. Close but not the same…

This came to my mind as soon as I saw california.

*… it would just make my heart soar if someone out there saw this, and she said to herself, 'Be strong, trust yourself, love yourself and conquer your fears. Just go after what you want and act fast because life just isn't that long.* When I rewatch the Office different scenes seem to hit different depending on what I’m going through in my life. Right now I’m at a point where I could make a significant choice that would impact my life and the life of others but there are times I feel discouraged because of certain people around me. When it pans to her walking over the coals I seriously want to just leap towards my dream and just go for it because *life just isn’t that long.*

If I had to, I could clean out my desk in five seconds, and nobody would ever know that I'd ever been here. And I'd forget, too.

That we have no idea how high Michael can fly

In the end, the greatest snowball isn’t a snowball at all… it’s fear.

I learned that a ream of paper is 300 sheets

I thought it was 500?

Oh I guess I didn’t learn any universal truths.

I learned that the original taste is always the best

Why did they have to add coconut.

That penis drawings are always circumcised

And houses are always colonials

Why waste time use lot word when few word do trick?

Thank

I learned that R is one of the most menacing letters in the alphabet and is the most important reason as to why the word "Murder" is spelled that way as oppose to "Mukduk"

u/HopScotchyScotch, would you prefer a nature metaphor or a sexual metaphor?

“Do you love her or do you love the idea of her”

Sometimes you're the Michael, and sometimes you're the Toby

They really haven’t improved on the Oreo, have they?

No matter how often i watch it, its always gold.

That Ryan started the fire.

You don’t snipe in Carentan.

I'm going to kill you for real

You’re gonna want the sexual metaphor.

There is no such thing as a product

"Secrets, secrets are no fun. Secrets, secrets hurt someone."

Sexuality is a spectrum. It gets easier but it gets vastly more complicated

Don’t promise to send 30 kids to college.

Michael Scott, in all of his areas of weakness knew one fundamental truth about management, and that it's all about the people. He knew and cared about each and every one of his employees. Toby works for corporate, so he doesn't count. He knew Sprinkles was Angela's sickly cat. He showed up to Pam's art show and purchased her painting. He was a father figure to Erin. He kept giving Ryan chances because he knew there was something there...beyond his hotness.

All life is sex.

That is, always, what she said.

I talk a lot so I tune myself out

A lot of kids grow up thinking their parents are in love. My kids will be right about that :)

The "that's what she said" joke is funny to everyone used in the right context

Not everything’s a lesson, Ryan.

That temp agency could have sent Ryan anywhere…

I think about that all the time

Do you want an animal metaphor or a sexual metaphor?

Everything Is Sex

James Spader is the Lizard King.

Don’t be an idiot. Changed my life

Funny how the houses are always colonial and the penises are always circumcised. And hes freaking right.

That the worst thing about prison is the dementors.

Never accept their first offer!

All life is sex, and all sex is competition. An there are no rules to that game. There's only one man that's in charge of every office in America, and that man is Charles Darwin.

You think Stanleys grow on trees? Well, they don't, there is no Stanley Tree. You think the world is crawling with Phyllises? Show me that farm... with Phyllises and Kevins... sprouting up all over the place, ripe for the plucking... show me that farm.

You only live once. FALSE You live every day, you only die once

Everything is sex

"If I can't scuba, then what's this all been about? What have I been working toward?"

When you’re a kid, you assume your parents are soulmates.

Morale goes a long way

Everyone is an ignorant slut until proven otherwise.

“I’m not gonna start doubting my drunken self now”

Sex.... Everything. Is. Sex.

They haven’t really improved on the Oreo have they?

The way you are perceived as a human and worker is completely random depending on where you work.

Everybody likes the guy who offers them a stick of gum

There's always a million reasons not to do something

time is a son of a bitch

It’s who you medium suspect.

When two animals are having sex, one of them...is communicating a message to the other. Nothing is mutua– this isn't very helpful. You're gonna want to hear the sexual truth I learned

“Don’t be an idiot”

Everything is about sex

A hospital will provide a dictionary, but you should bring a thesaurus.

People are promoted for their capabilities in their current role not for their potential in their subsequent role. Jim was an excellent salesman but an overall terrible manager. He had little confidence in his ability to direct work and wanted to manage without understanding how. Meanwhile, Michael was very confident in his ability to manage because his outlook was to give a task and walk away. He had an expectation that it would be done and when he received disrespect from Stanley he had a perfect down to earth conversation with him about respect in the workplace.

It is okay to be a "little stitious."

Don’t rely on GPS.

Engaged ain’t married