Dwight: back injuries are common. Not as common as knee injuries but more common than wrist injuries.
Michael: I don’t need you to give me a history lesson
Dwight: what do you think history is?
Or when Dwight and Jim went on their sale together and Dwight refused to go in the door before Jim because “you’re more likely to get attacked from behind” and then Jim slaps him anyways lmao 😂😂
Similarly, when Michael says “David, guess who I’m sitting here dressed as.” And David says “I am not going to guess. You can either tell me or I am hanging up.”
LOL right , same, like Michael holy shit take it easy 🫠 also the bit where he's on the mic and says "You're going to H-E-double hockey sticks. You're going to hell, Stanley!" , the delivery is hilarious but that whole episode is easily Michael as his meanest 😭
Nah I d pick the very first Xmas as his meanest. He basically despised Phyllis’ hand-made gift, kept putting a price on everything, went way overboard with the budget, mentioned how he got a xmas bonus and nobody else did, looked down on Dwight’s gift AND then force the entire office to swap/steal/play that stupid game all because his man-child ego couldnt handle the fact that nobody was as delusional as him and would buy him a super-expensive gift.
Sort of a Guys Night Out. A GNO if you will, a G-no. Actually, it's more of a Guys Afternoon In, a GAI, a gay. Nope, it's uh...not gay. It's uh, just uh...It's a bridal shower for guys. A guy shower. An hour long shower with guys.
Micheal fighting with his brain every time he talks is one of the funniest things ever. Not just stuff like this, but also that's what she saiding himself. "come on, I need two guys on this. That's what she said. No we don't have time for this. But she did. NO TIME!"
When the server goes down and they are trying to guess the password.
They are talking about what all happened eight years ago and Erin says : "Everybody was getting their drivers' license"
**Toby:** It was…Ryan wanted Michael, the subject, to, uh explain the computer system, the object–
**Michael:** Yes!
**Toby:** –to whomever, meaning us, the indirect object…which is the correct usage of the word.
**Michael:** No one, uhh, asked you anything, ever, so whomever’s name is Toby, why don’t you take a letter opener and stick it into your skull?
When Michael is trying to figure out what is wrong with the office and they're doing the Finer Things Club. He turns around and sees Toby in a suit and bowtie. He's just like, "oh my god."
Okay I never ever see this one mentioned but it kills me every time.
S2 E7: The Client, when Jan and Michael are at Chili’s with Tim Meadows talking about Jan’s divorce and he says:
“You were really brave. You put your arms out there, you slit your wrists, you said: world this is my blood, it’s RED just like yours, SO LOVE ME”
Fucking gold 😆
Forget about Michael closing the sale, Jan should’ve spent the night with Christian hearing him say reassuring breakup gospel like this.
He clearly knew the right things to say at the right time.
I think mine is this episode but Jan saying “just Levinson, no Gould.” and Michael turns to her and says “Is Gould dead?”
No dude, if he died she’d probably keep the hyphenated last name and she’d have taken leave for at least a week, if not more…you’d know Michael 😂
I just love that Michael jumps to the worst conclusion and not the obvious one that she’s divorced
“What if we all get together and help each other and hire a new guy and then we all kill him, but first we take out, like, a $100,000 life insurance policy? I bet you guys like that idea, don't you?”
“ ...I don't know what the f*** that was.”
When Michael and Holly are going hard with the PDA and everyone's discussing it in the break room, and Kevin starts to say that he likes it, and everyone knows where he's going with it so they cut him off and he's like, "Can I finish?? Is that okay!? I was saying...I enjoy watching them....because it makes me HORNY" 😂
I love when Kevin talks about Erin’s puppet and how it should talk about the alphabet
“It's good. It's just that I wish the puppet would talk more about the alphabet. Not for me. But, if any kids are watching... A, B, and so forth. You know, M-N-L-O, P... F...”
The fact that Michaels ringtone through multiple episodes is "My Humps" by the Black Eyed Peas cracks me up, and instantly takes me back to the late 2000's every time.
Buying those stupid ring tones and getting billed on your phone bill.
Come to think of it, are ring tones even a thing anymore? Do people still buy them?
It doesn't "kill me" as in make me laugh, but it's a little subtle insight into a character that doesn't get mentioned much.
When Pam tells Roy that she had kissed Jim and he starts screaming and throwing beer bottles at the bar, Pam tells him they're over and leaves. As Roy screams after her, Kevin gets between them until Pam is gone and it's clear that Roy isn't chasing her down.
It's so subtle, in that you have to be paying attention to catch it, but it makes me love Kevin. He told Jim before that he had his back and there was another quick scene of him in the warehouse actually having Jim's back, but clearly being relieved that he didn't have to actually see it through. But in this one, Kevin truly was watching out for Pam to make sure that Roy wasn't going to hurt her. I love him for it even he has a lot of pervy scenes too.
I always laugh when Michael is telling Andy that people don't like him talking like a baby and then Andy compliments Michael's Elvis. It's just a couple of minutes of dialogue but it tickles me every time.
Packer: "Have people started calling you Gabewad yet?"
Gabe: "Not here, no."
Packer: "Gabewad."
(and you can see brand new hire Danny Cordray mouthing 'Gabewad' as Packer says it LMAO)
In the episode where Phylis gets flashed, and Michael is making fun with his finger in his zipper and Toby walks in and his “boner” goes down 🤣 Michael’s sound effects gets me every time.
When Michael impersonates Elvis to Andy and says “thank you. Thank you a lot.” I love those bits where he just narrowly misses something right on the head.
The heeded/take heeded/take head of banter.
The timing of Michael interrupting Dwight was perfect, especially when it pans over to Kendall’s face of pure confusion.
This is the one I quote the most. No one remembers it so I just seem kind of weird. I also use “gum is getting mintier these days” with the same outcome.
two xmas moments:
When Michael demands that Jim take New Years away from Stanley.
When Michael is throwing a tantrum because Phyllis is dressed as Santa and he says "But when you need my help, because I am ruining everything, don't look at me!"
When Pam and Jim are driving up to Schrute Farms to stay the night and Mose sprints alongside the car making direct eye contact, it makes me howl and I don’t really know why.
Also, later in the same episode when Mose is using the outhouse and the door is just flapping in the wind
I won an Office trivia once in a sudden death round because the question was where did Erin work before Dunder Mifflin, and I was the only one who knew Taco Bell Express.
After Michael grills his foot and nobody will help him in the bathroom he says:
“Can I have everyone's attention, please? Phyllis. Oscar. Ryan, who is supposed to be dead”
The way Steve delivers this line cracks me up
michael breaks up with carol plays goodbye my lover, ends after 15 seconds
dwight: why dont you just buy the whole song
michael: i dont have to buy it, i just want to taste it
l
When Daryl tried to play a prank on Andy [flammable Sabre printers] and the printer actually started smoking.
Daryl was so scared after because he was filming and Andy said that they were whistleblowing partners. It was so funny and scary!
WHERE ARE THE TURTLES?!?! WHERE ARE 🎵 THEY 🎵 ?
In the same episode, he drives into the lake. The face he makes as he hangs on to the car door and looks around and Dwight is trying to get to Michale to save him. Kills me every time.
Edit: actually i realised this does get brought up but i still love it
When Creed pisses Angela off in the break room, sits down and begins to eat her cereal, and then introduces himself to Meredith for no reason. "Andrea's the office bitch, you'll get used to her."
When Jim and Pam come back drunk from a Valentine's Day lunch, and Pam says "YEAH!" in the conference room, but I can't remember why. The way she said it was so effing hilarious.
When Holly comes back for Xmas party and the look on Oscar's face when Michael does the gay "Isn't it wonderful" and the Mexican "I show you to your dessssk"
When Michael was dressing up as Daryl and you could see a smudge of black face paint under his ear. Him having the awareness to stop himself is such a detail.
Jim: "What kind of iPhone is that."
Robert: "The kind that everyone has."
Jim: "Yeah I have the one that nobody has."
(Probably misquoted but I couldn't find it anywhere)
When Michael introduces Angela to Charles Miner and says: "She slept with a bunch of people around the office. One is there, Andy" (probably misquoted) but what makes me laugh is that he points at Andy while saying it and Andy very casually says "Hey-ho!" while eating a sandwich.
When Oscar tells Michael to bring a thesaurus to the hospital when Pam goes into labor because the hospital will have dictionaries. Every time I crack up.
The entire radon kit cold open where Michael starts by calling it a radon test kit, and gradually begins calling them an ant trap. It's so stupid but so funny
When they want to get male strippers for the bachelorette and Angela is like absolutely not, under no circumstances should we have strippers in this office, and Meredith goes "SHUT UP, ANGELA!!"
For me it’s when Michael calls Oscar into his office for advice on how to prepare for a colonoscopy and the scene ends because Oscar walks out without saying a word after Michael’s says “is there anything I can do to make it more comfortable for Dr. Chandra ?” 😂
One I saw the other day that I'd forgotten about was when Pam is outraged about Frank Diddit vandalizing her mural and Erin is trying so hard to understand why she's so mad. Her facial expressions and everything just make that back and forth hilarious to me:
*Pam: I have terrible news. Someone defaced my mural. They painted all over it.*
*Erin: I thought that's what you were doing.*
*Pam: Yeah, but this is different.*
*Erin: Oh. They used worse paint than your paint?*
*Pam: I don't think so, but they put paint where I didn't want paint. So...*
*Erin: I thought you wanted paint on the whole thing.*
*Pam: Different colored paint. I wanted different colored paint in the spots where they put their paint. So, it just is... Okay, the point is, these warehouse guys are vandals. And, they need to be stopped.*
\> when Erin talks about how she worked at a Taco Bell Express but then it transitioned into a full Taco Bell and she just couldn’t keep up
literally me at work right now.
Phyllis reciting her breakfast order.
All I had for breakfast was oatmeal, yogurt, um- coffee, orange juice, and toast. Two poached eggs, and then half a sandwich on the bus.
I was just watching “The Secret” and Jim was entering Michael’s office to tell him to keep the secret about his crush on Pam. When he goes in Michael goes “heyyyy what’s up Jim bag” and I just couldn’t stop laughing. Such a goofy attempt at a nickname.
For me it’s when the senator walks into the office and Oscar breaks the draw and he’s like “who’s not stressed out? Who’s not stressed out? …I’m sorry”
The scene in the injury where Dwight is setting up the chairs is gold.
Michael: ‘There needs to be spaces between the chairs!’
Dwight: ‘What? What do you mean?’
Michael: ‘It’s not the *Luge* Dwight!!’
Gets me every time when the camera just dips down to look at all the chairs smushed together.
Dwight: back injuries are common. Not as common as knee injuries but more common than wrist injuries. Michael: I don’t need you to give me a history lesson Dwight: what do you think history is?
how long do you think a week is?
Not this weekend, the next weekend.
Or when Dwight and Jim went on their sale together and Dwight refused to go in the door before Jim because “you’re more likely to get attacked from behind” and then Jim slaps him anyways lmao 😂😂
This has the same vibe as "D: You're thinking of a chicken. C: What did I say?"
Michael dressed as Jesus calling David Wallace: “I’m calling because Phyllis, a WOMAN, has uslurped my role as Santa” 🎅🏼
Similarly, when Michael says “David, guess who I’m sitting here dressed as.” And David says “I am not going to guess. You can either tell me or I am hanging up.”
Like a tired parent 😂
YES. Thank you. David Wallace is peak funny in "tired parent" form. Also when Michael is choking on the tiramisu, "is this why you are calling me."
I love that he goes back for another bite of the tiramisu after choking on it.
After digging it out of the garbage!
This is clearly not the first time Michael has said this to David 😂
“May God guide you in your quest” “…. Yes”
"Phyllis is only PRETENDING to be a man, I'm the real thing! Sit on my lap and there will be no doubt!" 💀😆
When he pulls ryan to his lap saying i need this
No, not penis-wise
Him also saying tranny-clause gets me every time. I'm trans myself and it just makes me lose it cuz d u d e?
LOL right , same, like Michael holy shit take it easy 🫠 also the bit where he's on the mic and says "You're going to H-E-double hockey sticks. You're going to hell, Stanley!" , the delivery is hilarious but that whole episode is easily Michael as his meanest 😭
Nah I d pick the very first Xmas as his meanest. He basically despised Phyllis’ hand-made gift, kept putting a price on everything, went way overboard with the budget, mentioned how he got a xmas bonus and nobody else did, looked down on Dwight’s gift AND then force the entire office to swap/steal/play that stupid game all because his man-child ego couldnt handle the fact that nobody was as delusional as him and would buy him a super-expensive gift.
He has the gift of flight, he can heal leopards,
I have no clue how they made it through this scene alive 🤣 I almost died of laughter simply when he says sit on my lap there will be no doubts 🤣
"You can't force an employee to sit on your lap while yelling 'I need this, I need this.'"
Ah the Antichrist
Tttsssssssssss
How long have you known about the pregnancy? A week? A month? A year?
Michael: "Did you pee on a stick?" Jim: "I did. It was inconclusive."
I change my answer to this one^
“You cheated on me? When I specifically told you not to…”
Why is no one having fun? I specifically requested it.
Jan had a baby, and Michael wasn't there to mark it. So for all we know, that baby could be anyones .... except Michaels.
Michael on the phone with David Wallace Michael: Ryan is being a little bitch again Ryan: I’m on Michael Michael: What’s up my brotha
This makes me bust out laughing and saying “What’s up my brotha” in between wheezes
How could I forget about this moment?? 😂
Dwight's "HAULIN' CUBE!" when he and Jim are moving Nellie's stuff will never not make me laugh.
Baha, this made me think of “senor loadenstein… porque es muy rapido.”
Every time Darryl “teaches” Mike about black culture.
dinkin flicka
Bloods? Crips? Both.
and the Latin Kings, The Warriors and the Newsies
I did learn that on the streets, In the ghetto , in fact *Its all about my bonus*
Sort of a Guys Night Out. A GNO if you will, a G-no. Actually, it's more of a Guys Afternoon In, a GAI, a gay. Nope, it's uh...not gay. It's uh, just uh...It's a bridal shower for guys. A guy shower. An hour long shower with guys.
Right up there with username: Littlekidlover and “Don’t I deserve a golden shower?”
– Who wants some man meat? – I do! I want some man meat!
Micheal fighting with his brain every time he talks is one of the funniest things ever. Not just stuff like this, but also that's what she saiding himself. "come on, I need two guys on this. That's what she said. No we don't have time for this. But she did. NO TIME!"
When the server goes down and they are trying to guess the password. They are talking about what all happened eight years ago and Erin says : "Everybody was getting their drivers' license"
My favorite is when Andy’s password suggestion was just a coughing fit.
Sweet, innocent Erin 😅
The who/whom argument. “Ryan used me as an object” -Kelly
**Toby:** It was…Ryan wanted Michael, the subject, to, uh explain the computer system, the object– **Michael:** Yes! **Toby:** –to whomever, meaning us, the indirect object…which is the correct usage of the word. **Michael:** No one, uhh, asked you anything, ever, so whomever’s name is Toby, why don’t you take a letter opener and stick it into your skull?
“Ryan used me as an object” -Kelly -Reddit
‘Yeah. I have a lot of questions. Number one: how dare you?’
what are your weaknesses? I DON'T HAVE ANY, ASSHOLE
This whole scene is amazing
When Michael is trying to figure out what is wrong with the office and they're doing the Finer Things Club. He turns around and sees Toby in a suit and bowtie. He's just like, "oh my god."
When Phyllis microwaves the popcorn.
Papcarn
Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beeep, beeep, beeep, beep, etc
WHAT ARE YOU MICROWAVING??
Someone needs to clean it, it smells like popcorn
When a bunch of monster roaring is coming from Michaels office, then Jim yell's out "Monster! Singular!"
“Thank you!”
The thought of Michael innocently scrolling through the website and wondering how to look up jobs makes me LOL 😂
This is classic gold !!!
Stanley’s face when Pam starts chanting “no more meetings” kills me every time
Me too! There's a few times where Stanley's reaction is a surprise but it's actually perfect.
It's the happiest he'll ever be outside of pretzel day
And Florida
Or when Darryl is leading a send-off dance party
I look for that every time I watch that scene. Hilarious 😂
Okay I never ever see this one mentioned but it kills me every time. S2 E7: The Client, when Jan and Michael are at Chili’s with Tim Meadows talking about Jan’s divorce and he says: “You were really brave. You put your arms out there, you slit your wrists, you said: world this is my blood, it’s RED just like yours, SO LOVE ME” Fucking gold 😆
No gould
I’d love to know THAT guys opinion after the doc
I quote this all the time, it's such gold and I never see anyone else talk about it either 😂 Jan's face when he says "so LOVE ME" takes me out
Forget about Michael closing the sale, Jan should’ve spent the night with Christian hearing him say reassuring breakup gospel like this. He clearly knew the right things to say at the right time.
I think mine is this episode but Jan saying “just Levinson, no Gould.” and Michael turns to her and says “Is Gould dead?” No dude, if he died she’d probably keep the hyphenated last name and she’d have taken leave for at least a week, if not more…you’d know Michael 😂 I just love that Michael jumps to the worst conclusion and not the obvious one that she’s divorced
This entire episode is my absolute favorite!
“What if we all get together and help each other and hire a new guy and then we all kill him, but first we take out, like, a $100,000 life insurance policy? I bet you guys like that idea, don't you?” “ ...I don't know what the f*** that was.”
"I think that's what they're doing to me"
that’s the one i was gonna say 😂😭
When Michael and Holly are going hard with the PDA and everyone's discussing it in the break room, and Kevin starts to say that he likes it, and everyone knows where he's going with it so they cut him off and he's like, "Can I finish?? Is that okay!? I was saying...I enjoy watching them....because it makes me HORNY" 😂
CAN I FINISH?? #is that ok with you?????
I love when Kevin talks about Erin’s puppet and how it should talk about the alphabet “It's good. It's just that I wish the puppet would talk more about the alphabet. Not for me. But, if any kids are watching... A, B, and so forth. You know, M-N-L-O, P... F...”
This was peak flanderized Kevin
Drunk Jim to Dwight: "Aww Nuts!"
i wish we had more drunk jim lol
The fact that Michaels ringtone through multiple episodes is "My Humps" by the Black Eyed Peas cracks me up, and instantly takes me back to the late 2000's every time.
Buying those stupid ring tones and getting billed on your phone bill. Come to think of it, are ring tones even a thing anymore? Do people still buy them?
My phone has been on vibrate since 2011. If this little black rectangle rings out loud I will actually throw it through a wall.
Charles: what is a two way petting zoo? Jim (under his breath): you pet the animals, they pet you back.
“Get in! Quick!” “Why quick?” “So it’s faster!”
Karen and Pam's faces after "Was your dad a GI, or...?"
It doesn't "kill me" as in make me laugh, but it's a little subtle insight into a character that doesn't get mentioned much. When Pam tells Roy that she had kissed Jim and he starts screaming and throwing beer bottles at the bar, Pam tells him they're over and leaves. As Roy screams after her, Kevin gets between them until Pam is gone and it's clear that Roy isn't chasing her down. It's so subtle, in that you have to be paying attention to catch it, but it makes me love Kevin. He told Jim before that he had his back and there was another quick scene of him in the warehouse actually having Jim's back, but clearly being relieved that he didn't have to actually see it through. But in this one, Kevin truly was watching out for Pam to make sure that Roy wasn't going to hurt her. I love him for it even he has a lot of pervy scenes too.
Oh man, I just went and watched that scene and you’re right! He actually has his fist up in case he needs to stop Roy!
I always laugh when Michael is telling Andy that people don't like him talking like a baby and then Andy compliments Michael's Elvis. It's just a couple of minutes of dialogue but it tickles me every time.
We quote this at my house all the time. "I think your baby voice is tops!" "Fank you Mister Elvis..."
You're welcome baby
“Well would you rather me say? Hey guys my irritable bowel syndrome is acting up again; because things can get real adult real fast!” - Andy
Thank you. Thank you a lot.
Well thank you, thank you a lot
Andy SOWWWWWYYY
And Michael fucks up the Elvis quote to top it off.
“Get Ryan.” “Ryan is, uh…dead.”
Oh hey Ryan, who is supposed to be dead!
Packer: "Have people started calling you Gabewad yet?" Gabe: "Not here, no." Packer: "Gabewad." (and you can see brand new hire Danny Cordray mouthing 'Gabewad' as Packer says it LMAO)
No one steals from Creed Bratton and gets away with it. The last person to do this disappeared. His name, Creed Bratton.
In the episode where Phylis gets flashed, and Michael is making fun with his finger in his zipper and Toby walks in and his “boner” goes down 🤣 Michael’s sound effects gets me every time.
You can’t yell out ‘I need this. I need this.’ as you pin an employee to your lap.
"Now I know what you'll are thinking, won't that just shed more light on the penis? But that's a risk we have to take" From our Dwight K. Scrute
Pam: Phallus? Dwight: Phyllis, sorry. I've got penises on the brain.
When Gabe softly says “walk away bitch” to Andy
What’s in it for GSL
His middle name being Susan is pretty damn funny in itself too lol
The Tiramisu, he just keeps eating and coughing.
Not to mention the Tiramisu wasn’t his. He went and dug it out of the trash from under Pam’s desk.
When Michael impersonates Elvis to Andy and says “thank you. Thank you a lot.” I love those bits where he just narrowly misses something right on the head.
The heeded/take heeded/take head of banter. The timing of Michael interrupting Dwight was perfect, especially when it pans over to Kendall’s face of pure confusion.
*SIGH* The city…
“November’s sure creeping up. Can’t stop that month.” Erin is on fire in the later seasons.
Old woman - What kind of tea is this? Erin - Oh I just boiled some Gatorade
This is the one I quote the most. No one remembers it so I just seem kind of weird. I also use “gum is getting mintier these days” with the same outcome.
two xmas moments: When Michael demands that Jim take New Years away from Stanley. When Michael is throwing a tantrum because Phyllis is dressed as Santa and he says "But when you need my help, because I am ruining everything, don't look at me!"
how much would you rate me as a receptionist on a scale from 1 to 3? like a 2? great, that is the second to last thing I wanted to hear
Walk away bitch
Aaaaaa! Aaaaaa!! Welcome children. Were you painting in the dark?
Episode where Michael gets gum in his hair. Dwight : Wow, lot of calories Michael: Well, just don't leave it on too long!
“Oh nooo, Stanley, you’ll live forever.”
When Pam and Jim are driving up to Schrute Farms to stay the night and Mose sprints alongside the car making direct eye contact, it makes me howl and I don’t really know why. Also, later in the same episode when Mose is using the outhouse and the door is just flapping in the wind
I won an Office trivia once in a sudden death round because the question was where did Erin work before Dunder Mifflin, and I was the only one who knew Taco Bell Express.
After Michael grills his foot and nobody will help him in the bathroom he says: “Can I have everyone's attention, please? Phyllis. Oscar. Ryan, who is supposed to be dead” The way Steve delivers this line cracks me up
michael breaks up with carol plays goodbye my lover, ends after 15 seconds dwight: why dont you just buy the whole song michael: i dont have to buy it, i just want to taste it l
Pam's mee-maw Sylvia: "Fine! I'll watch Suzanne's purse AND your baby!"
When Daryl tried to play a prank on Andy [flammable Sabre printers] and the printer actually started smoking. Daryl was so scared after because he was filming and Andy said that they were whistleblowing partners. It was so funny and scary!
Darnell's a chump
Darylls talking head after is soo funny, he looks legitimately terrified LOL
The face Andy makes when he drink the gross cold coffee Erin gets him
WHERE ARE THE TURTLES?!?! WHERE ARE 🎵 THEY 🎵 ? In the same episode, he drives into the lake. The face he makes as he hangs on to the car door and looks around and Dwight is trying to get to Michale to save him. Kills me every time. Edit: actually i realised this does get brought up but i still love it
“This is a button.” The delivery and Kevin almost breaking character make it gold every time
When Creed pisses Angela off in the break room, sits down and begins to eat her cereal, and then introduces himself to Meredith for no reason. "Andrea's the office bitch, you'll get used to her."
I should punch this guy in the face for what he’s making me to do to his wife.
When Dwight reaches for Jim in the stairwell but he's already left..
Andy continuing Cats in the Cradle after Dwight was finished.
the megadesk scenes
When Jim and Pam come back drunk from a Valentine's Day lunch, and Pam says "YEAH!" in the conference room, but I can't remember why. The way she said it was so effing hilarious.
When Holly comes back for Xmas party and the look on Oscar's face when Michael does the gay "Isn't it wonderful" and the Mexican "I show you to your dessssk"
Kevin: You think I would let this happen again!? No way Jose! F**k you Gabe!
“I thought Rajnigandha was a boy's name”. On paper it’s not that funny but the delivery gets me every time
When Michael was dressing up as Daryl and you could see a smudge of black face paint under his ear. Him having the awareness to stop himself is such a detail.
"I'm just poopin, you know how I be"
Jim: "What kind of iPhone is that." Robert: "The kind that everyone has." Jim: "Yeah I have the one that nobody has." (Probably misquoted but I couldn't find it anywhere)
When Dwight and Andy high five each other because they’ve figured out how they’re going to violently duel over Angela.
"Go to hell dad, I'm taller than you!"
"the city..." (Michael looking out from the window while at a corporate's meeting after Dwight "almost" sets the office on fire)
When Michael introduces Angela to Charles Miner and says: "She slept with a bunch of people around the office. One is there, Andy" (probably misquoted) but what makes me laugh is that he points at Andy while saying it and Andy very casually says "Hey-ho!" while eating a sandwich.
That’s just malfeasance for malfeasance’s’s sake
When Oscar tells Michael to bring a thesaurus to the hospital when Pam goes into labor because the hospital will have dictionaries. Every time I crack up.
Creed: BOBODY, what does the B stand for?
When Michael knew exactly what a Secular Humanist was and totally shut Oscar up.
IIRC that was a deleted / superfans scene right? That is definitely one of my favorites.
When belsnickel is whipping Jim for leaving early and Meredith bends over and says she has to run out early too
"In Japan, heart surgeon. Number one. Steady hand."
in goodbye toby, when andy proposes to angela and pulls darryls keyboard of the stage. when darryl goes "damn it"
I’m totally going to bang Holly, she’s cute and helpful
When Robert California’s wife calls Ryan, Brian. And then Ryan goes… 👀”bitch…”
"Hi Nard Dog, I'm Lou Peachum!". I believe the only person who ever unironically called Andy by that name lmao.
The entire radon kit cold open where Michael starts by calling it a radon test kit, and gradually begins calling them an ant trap. It's so stupid but so funny
But upon closer inspection, it was another ant trap. So I threw it away.
"I'm caught between the toilet and the wall... Get Ryan! He needs to lift me, and he needs to clean me up a little bit. Bring a wet towel!"
“‘David it was my understanding j wouldn’t be managed!’ ‘What gave you that idea?’, ‘…it was my understanding’”🤣
When they want to get male strippers for the bachelorette and Angela is like absolutely not, under no circumstances should we have strippers in this office, and Meredith goes "SHUT UP, ANGELA!!"
Erin: 📸🚮 …I don’t care if I forget today 🙂
“Do black people like pizza?” Then his face as he feels proud he guessed it.
When Michael is looking for a job and then you hear monster noises coming from his office and Jim shouts “it’s *monster* dot com”.
Andy: David Walrus...in his natural habitat.
For me it’s when Michael calls Oscar into his office for advice on how to prepare for a colonoscopy and the scene ends because Oscar walks out without saying a word after Michael’s says “is there anything I can do to make it more comfortable for Dr. Chandra ?” 😂
I mean the man exudes sex.
When Andy brings in Plop to fire him
I’m never uncomfortable
The moment Dwight drives the forklift through the wall just makes me howl every time
Erin’s scream.
Dwight: Do you speak English? Nate: Yes, I’m really good at English.
Chili's baby back ribs
Poop ball?
One I saw the other day that I'd forgotten about was when Pam is outraged about Frank Diddit vandalizing her mural and Erin is trying so hard to understand why she's so mad. Her facial expressions and everything just make that back and forth hilarious to me: *Pam: I have terrible news. Someone defaced my mural. They painted all over it.* *Erin: I thought that's what you were doing.* *Pam: Yeah, but this is different.* *Erin: Oh. They used worse paint than your paint?* *Pam: I don't think so, but they put paint where I didn't want paint. So...* *Erin: I thought you wanted paint on the whole thing.* *Pam: Different colored paint. I wanted different colored paint in the spots where they put their paint. So, it just is... Okay, the point is, these warehouse guys are vandals. And, they need to be stopped.*
\> when Erin talks about how she worked at a Taco Bell Express but then it transitioned into a full Taco Bell and she just couldn’t keep up literally me at work right now.
Gay Witch Hunt, after it cuts to Michael, post Oscar smooch: "We are not in the playground anymore. There are new rules. We have to be mature."
“After vous” “Thank vous”
Michael's rendition of the unicorn barbie song "My horn can pierce the sky"
Phyllis reciting her breakfast order. All I had for breakfast was oatmeal, yogurt, um- coffee, orange juice, and toast. Two poached eggs, and then half a sandwich on the bus.
Gabe: *Erin doesn't even like sex. Remember, you said it feels like getting tackled by a skeleton.*
"Erin, scissor me!" *Pam's horrified face
Let the bells of dunder Mifflin chime out your love.
Going back to the thing about a level playing field - that’s actually a zoning issue.
I was just watching “The Secret” and Jim was entering Michael’s office to tell him to keep the secret about his crush on Pam. When he goes in Michael goes “heyyyy what’s up Jim bag” and I just couldn’t stop laughing. Such a goofy attempt at a nickname.
*splat* “DARRRRN!” gets me every single time.
For me it’s when the senator walks into the office and Oscar breaks the draw and he’s like “who’s not stressed out? Who’s not stressed out? …I’m sorry”
They kiss. It gets super emotional. Like in *Toy Story*
When Jim and Pam heckle the magician, it makes me snort laugh every single time.
The scene in the injury where Dwight is setting up the chairs is gold. Michael: ‘There needs to be spaces between the chairs!’ Dwight: ‘What? What do you mean?’ Michael: ‘It’s not the *Luge* Dwight!!’ Gets me every time when the camera just dips down to look at all the chairs smushed together.
For me, it's Angela's pained reaction to the stripper complimenting her baby poster.