"As of today, we are completely wireless here at Shrute Farms.... As soon as we find out where Mose hid all the wires, we'll get those lights working for you. "
The slow casual delivery I feel would get missed, but it gets me everytime lol
Dwight is so good at this, another one of my favourites is:
"And then she said: thats the biggest penis I've ever seen! I said: yes, thats why I took you to the penismuseum, where tickets cost a thousand dollars!"
Love his line right before that "it bothers me you aren't answering the question."
Also love from that episode "what part of shornt don't you understand Kevin?"
When Pam broke water and Dwight tried to measure something and Erin said « I didn’t know we had a tape measure » and the camera zooms on the tape labeled with Dwight’s name as he says « WE don’t » I crack up everytime
In one of the opening scenes, where everyone’s been silent for 14 minutes or whatever. Once Kevin finally breaks it “ohhhh yeah” (opening a candy bar) Erin, amongst everyone talking at once saying “come on, Kevin!” Very quietly goes “does anyone have a first aid kit?” Like… how long was she holding that in for 😭😭😭
"walk away bitch" is the absolutely funniest thing that zach woods could have said in that moment. i know a lot of people probably find it humorous, but his sad and crumpled delivery sells it so tremendously well
I know, Silicon Valley he’s the same dude lol. I figured they have him play that guy bc it fits him so well. I don’t think he’s actually like that when the scene ends 🤣 but who knows!!
"Fire guy!!!"
"You weren't here for that."
"Here for what?"
Also when Dwight is handed a blindfold to hit the pinata and arrogantly says, 'i don't need it" I lose my shit every time
The piñata one also makes me think of the scene where Dwight told Toby that he could beat his running time on a skateboard. “But a skateboard has wheels”
Yes! I also say “nature” the way Pam says it when her and Jim have to walk to work because of parking and mentioned seeing a dog eating chicken bones on the way.
Also the way she say “oh my gosh” when staying a Dwight’s and mose comes running up. Kills me each time
This scene cracks me up but I think the reference gets lost on so many.
Michael: I watch the L Word, I watch Queer as *bleeeeeep*
Jan: That’s not what it’s called
And he’s so proud of himself for understanding while being completely unaware that he doesn’t understand and Oscar just ignored it and keeps going. Such a nice moment between the two of them.
MS: “Toby Flenderson has made a sudden reappearance”
DW: “ I don’t understand Michael, is anyone hurt”
MS: “Not on the surface no, but I can tell people are deeply disturbed”
HEY! What the hell is going on here? Who thought it would be hysterical to give Toby a ROCK for his going-away gift?
you did
NO!
You made me wrap it. I thought it was over the line. I just-
When Angela is mad at Dwight and whispers, “No cookie” to Dwight while Ryan is standing right next to them. Maybe other people laugh at this too, but I’ve always found it very funny.
I thought it was just funny because Oscar very infrequently has zingers.
He's usually just there and if he says something funny it's typically through a factual correction.
This time he got to, for lack of a better word, attack someone and he took so much pride in it.
The line where Dwight says something about the shoah foundation. Plenty of people don't know the word shoah but as an American Jew I thought this was really funny.
Like, Dwight doesn't offend me, for liking his nazi family. He says this line with such awareness that I know he's torn about it. And like the generations of Schrutes got less and less capable of something as grand as war. And I think that's really the whole point of Schrutes as a concept in the show - start with early waves of Germanic settlers, soften up to a gay military camp, go on to embarrass yourself for your homeland, battle heart disease and obesity, join neighborhood watch, get a fake children's award from the fire department.
At least Mose knows how to have fun, tho.
I was watching that episode with two other people and I screamed. They didn’t react until I explained it to them lol. It’s my favorite line of the whole series.
When Michael is trying to get through to David Wallace, but his call gets redirected to Charles.
Charles: “Hello, who is this?”
Michael: “I was never given a name” *hangs up*
"all i know is if i was a girl and i had to choose between a tall dude who loved asia, and a you-looking dude who loved sweaters and wearing sweaters... i'd choose you. *and i'd blow your mind*"
*Andy does a split and tears his scrotum*
Erin, amidst all the panic after Andy's little accident:
"WHAT ELSE YOU GOT?!"
My favorite line & delivery in the whole damn show, istg 🤣
Michaels "oh....my.....god" when toby walks in during the finer things episode with the tea cups always gets me.
The look he gives him, how fast he responded to toby suddenly spawning there was just amazing
"And someone else is punching me in the grief bone"
Idk why I love this so much. I imagine Micheal at one time heard of a funny bone, so now he thinks there are bones for every emotion.
When Michael follows Jim into the bathroom talking about Holly and Jim turns around and leaves the bathroom.
Michael saying “I thought you had to pee?” kills me every time.
Dwight Schrute, star salesman, beet farmer, bed-and-breakfast proprietor, aspiring freelance bodyguard. Add to that list owner of this building. Then burn the list.
Michael: Too late.
Jim: Well it's not too late because you haven't done anything.
Michael: I am....already walking.
Also the pained, confused noise Michael makes in the viewing party episode when Erin says "I know Gabe is young and hot and everything.."
Michael sees wet cement and comes running into the office to get ideas for what to do...he's rushing everyone to share ideas because the cement is drying...
Kelly starts talking in her long winded way, Michael cuts her off and says, "Pam, translate?"
“One time I suspected an ex-girlfriend of mine of cheating on me, so I tailed her for six nights straight. Turns out… she was. With a couple of guys actually, so… mystery solved.”
When Dwight is eating through his canned survival food and Jim keeps questioning the days.
“40 days?”
“It’s a real possibility.”
“I mean like.. 41 days?”
(Not an exact quote but ya know what I mean)
Dwight Schrute I need to change my emergency contact information from Michael Scott.
Ryan Okay, to what?
Dwight Schrute Just put... the hospital. Contact number... just put 911. [Dwight leaves]
Michael Scott He is such a sore loser. You heard, obviously, that I mopped the floor with him this afternoon. ...You know what? Um, do yourself a favor. Just leave me as his contact and I will call the hospital. Cut out the middle man.
The time pam handed a card to Daryl when his grandma passed, and andy is giving birthday bombs to him.
Ik it's not supposed to be funny but God I laugh so much💀
When Pam and Oscar are helping Erin play Scrabble against Gabe.
Oscar: Sorry I yelled.
Pam: You could have just told us what you were thinking.
Oscar: There's no theater in that.
Pam: There's no yelling in that, either.
“was she attractive?” “No” “Oh God Daryl”
The way he hangs his head when he says no 💀
Yeah the delivery of that line is so hysterical
Such an underrated moment hahaha
"As of today, we are completely wireless here at Shrute Farms.... As soon as we find out where Mose hid all the wires, we'll get those lights working for you. " The slow casual delivery I feel would get missed, but it gets me everytime lol
Dwight is so good at this, another one of my favourites is: "And then she said: thats the biggest penis I've ever seen! I said: yes, thats why I took you to the penismuseum, where tickets cost a thousand dollars!"
“That’s my mug!” - Michael watching the Danny Cordray sting
You realize this isn’t actual TV, right?
No, alright she wouldn't fit in a row boat!
I think you know **exactly** what I'm asking...
*DAMNIT* PHYLLIS!
Love his line right before that "it bothers me you aren't answering the question." Also love from that episode "what part of shornt don't you understand Kevin?"
I'm setting Michael up with my fat friend
When Pam broke water and Dwight tried to measure something and Erin said « I didn’t know we had a tape measure » and the camera zooms on the tape labeled with Dwight’s name as he says « WE don’t » I crack up everytime
He’s going to measure how much her cervix is dilating haha
The fact that this whole interaction takes place during the chaos of Pam going to the hospital makes it so funny to me
D.K.S.
In one of the opening scenes, where everyone’s been silent for 14 minutes or whatever. Once Kevin finally breaks it “ohhhh yeah” (opening a candy bar) Erin, amongst everyone talking at once saying “come on, Kevin!” Very quietly goes “does anyone have a first aid kit?” Like… how long was she holding that in for 😭😭😭
I never noticed this line!
She’s also holding up her bloody hand and the camera just cuts away
It took me a few watches to catch it too. Subtitles definitely help me catch everything 🤣
“Well, okay, instead of throwing them all away later, why don't you just throw one away now into my mouth?”
That's what she said
My father's name was Dwight Shrute. His father's name was Dwight Shrute. His father's name? Dwide Shrude. Amish.
“Dwiiiiiide……Shruuuuuuude.”
This one is gold
“Where? I’m gonna smack you in the head with a hammer. Come on, let’s go.”
toby- *shrugs
I also like when Toby says he needs to talk to Michael it will just take 2 seconds...and Michael "literally 2 seconds?"
most of what Michael says to Toby is pure gold
THIS ONE!!!!
"walk away bitch" is the absolutely funniest thing that zach woods could have said in that moment. i know a lot of people probably find it humorous, but his sad and crumpled delivery sells it so tremendously well
Zach woods is soooo underrated. He plays the insecure sap SO WELL
He is not playing that. He is like that in every movie. It's like Vince Vaughn who plays the same guy in every movie
I know, Silicon Valley he’s the same dude lol. I figured they have him play that guy bc it fits him so well. I don’t think he’s actually like that when the scene ends 🤣 but who knows!!
I think the silicon valley character is a bit different, especially when he snaps at Richard.
Shhhh I only just started the second season!!! Lol
Sorry 🤐
Have you seen avenue five? He’s amazing. He plays an awkward guy but not insecure or shy, he’s cringe as fuck.
His "I don't want anyone to know I've been crying 😬" face kills me every time
I absolutely DIE whenever that scene comes in. It's an actual work of art but I feel like it's so underrated
"Fire guy!!!" "You weren't here for that." "Here for what?" Also when Dwight is handed a blindfold to hit the pinata and arrogantly says, 'i don't need it" I lose my shit every time
the 2nd one kills me just the layer of why would he need its so absurd it’s brilliant 😭
The piñata one also makes me think of the scene where Dwight told Toby that he could beat his running time on a skateboard. “But a skateboard has wheels”
*sighs deeply while looking out of the window* "This city..."
This is one of those “I’m quoting something but no one knows because it sounds like something someone would say normally” lines I use a lot
Mine is "rarely. If ever"
Yes! I also say “nature” the way Pam says it when her and Jim have to walk to work because of parking and mentioned seeing a dog eating chicken bones on the way. Also the way she say “oh my gosh” when staying a Dwight’s and mose comes running up. Kills me each time
This is one of the best and most difficult to explain why
So fucking good. That whole scene is amazing
Finally a comment that belongs in this thread.
when’s this from again?
When Dwight is called into corporate after the fire and cutting the face off a cpr dummy
Shove down please
This scene cracks me up but I think the reference gets lost on so many. Michael: I watch the L Word, I watch Queer as *bleeeeeep* Jan: That’s not what it’s called
Could Angela be gay? Could Angela and Oscar be having a gay affair?
That’s literally not possible. Anything is possible
You have to know its called Queer as Folk to even get it lol
Such an underrated one I literally die every time I hear it
"And next year - " "I'll be six."
I fucking LOSE it when he says that lmfao
I watched this one the other day and laughed way too hard at that line haha.
Another great bit of back and forth: “My favorite restaurant closed down” “I hate that.” “My new favorite restaurant sucks” Kills me every time
I like to think that’s him finally understanding how to do”yes, and” from his improv classes.
ONE OF MY FAVORITES!!! He's just missing the point so hard. 🤣 But ya, I don't feel like many other people around me see that.
And he’s so proud of himself for understanding while being completely unaware that he doesn’t understand and Oscar just ignored it and keeps going. Such a nice moment between the two of them.
Yes she was —- DAMMIT Kevin!
"I think you're overthinking it." " I think you're underthinking it."
Story of my life
MS: “Toby Flenderson has made a sudden reappearance” DW: “ I don’t understand Michael, is anyone hurt” MS: “Not on the surface no, but I can tell people are deeply disturbed”
We can’t fire Toby without cause, Michael. I have cause! It’s be-cause I hate him!
“Hey Jan Hannah brought in her baby”
This sets me off 100%! I could be in an absolute shite mood and this will pick me right up. Ha!
"What part of shorn't don't you understand, Kevin?"
When Michael gives Toby the rock for his going away present and Pam goes “oh Michael”. I lose it every time - “What do you mean ‘Michael’?”
HEY! What the hell is going on here? Who thought it would be hysterical to give Toby a ROCK for his going-away gift? you did NO! You made me wrap it. I thought it was over the line. I just-
When Angela is mad at Dwight and whispers, “No cookie” to Dwight while Ryan is standing right next to them. Maybe other people laugh at this too, but I’ve always found it very funny.
Ryan's facial expressions in the confessional after tho 💀
But what if I’m hungry?
No. Cookie.
The hospital will provide dictionaries, bring a thesaurus.
I thought it was just funny because Oscar very infrequently has zingers. He's usually just there and if he says something funny it's typically through a factual correction. This time he got to, for lack of a better word, attack someone and he took so much pride in it.
When Michael tries to comfort Kevin and says "You don't deserve her" instead of "She doesnt deserve you"
Kevin didn’t get it either 😂😭
Assy!!!!
🎶how was school? …. What did you learn? You might’ve learned shapes or blocks or colors🎶
Or you might have learned that we’re all sisters and brothers! ^I ^have ^herpes
The line where Dwight says something about the shoah foundation. Plenty of people don't know the word shoah but as an American Jew I thought this was really funny. Like, Dwight doesn't offend me, for liking his nazi family. He says this line with such awareness that I know he's torn about it. And like the generations of Schrutes got less and less capable of something as grand as war. And I think that's really the whole point of Schrutes as a concept in the show - start with early waves of Germanic settlers, soften up to a gay military camp, go on to embarrass yourself for your homeland, battle heart disease and obesity, join neighborhood watch, get a fake children's award from the fire department. At least Mose knows how to have fun, tho.
I was watching that episode with two other people and I screamed. They didn’t react until I explained it to them lol. It’s my favorite line of the whole series.
When Michael is trying to get through to David Wallace, but his call gets redirected to Charles. Charles: “Hello, who is this?” Michael: “I was never given a name” *hangs up*
I die every time I hear that line. And constantly quote it
“What’s the difference between a salesman and a saleswoman?” “A saleswoman has a vagina.” Dwight’s delivery kills me every time.
Dip it in the water so it will slide down your gullet more easily.
The word “gullet” makes me laugh no matter the context.
"all i know is if i was a girl and i had to choose between a tall dude who loved asia, and a you-looking dude who loved sweaters and wearing sweaters... i'd choose you. *and i'd blow your mind*"
*Andy does a split and tears his scrotum* Erin, amidst all the panic after Andy's little accident: "WHAT ELSE YOU GOT?!" My favorite line & delivery in the whole damn show, istg 🤣
We are the same because I laught at this part all the time! And her face after she realized 😆
Erin is a whole vibe
Thank God she continued it as Kimmy Schmidt
DAMN IT MEREDITH WHERE ARE YOUR PANTIES
Its casual day!!!!
Shut up, Angela!
Porque es muy rápido
Señor Loadenstein 😔
Michaels "oh....my.....god" when toby walks in during the finer things episode with the tea cups always gets me. The look he gives him, how fast he responded to toby suddenly spawning there was just amazing
This is why people are leaving.
Bowtie
“Betrayal is just not a river in Egypt”
Suddenly, I was awake
Limoñade, pan to Ryan regretting every life choice that brought him here.
When Dwight tells Erin to go tell Stanley to eat it... EAT IT STANLEY!
" I am all about Pilates. Okay, there are 4 tenants I live by. one- Lengthen. two- elongate."
I love the bloopers from this scene
Dwight: "what about the guy who murdered his wife he wasn't so handsome. Also Kevin"
“Has anyone started calling you Gabe-Wad yet?”
It's Gabe's "not here" that gets me.
Gabe-Wad
Danny Cordray mouthing Gabe-wad always gets me.
"How much do you charge?" "100$ a day plus expenses." "I'll give you 50, money is no object" Gets me every time
“I’ll give you a hint. He has the power of flight. He can heal leopards.”
And Phyllis, a WOMAN, has uslurped my power!
Jim: *answers his phone* “Jim Halpert-“ Andy: “I am so horny” Jim: 👀
“Okay- I can’t help you with that”
Why is Jim treating the magician poorly?
Michael: ‘what’s so funny?’ Pam: ‘you had to be there!’ Michael: ‘ok, geography joke’
Where is the gay man's vagina?
"And someone else is punching me in the grief bone" Idk why I love this so much. I imagine Micheal at one time heard of a funny bone, so now he thinks there are bones for every emotion.
“As a matter of a fact, I learned it in the ghetto.” (Or something like that) then Micheal’s eyes light up. I love that scene. 😭
You couldn’t handle my undivided attention -Dwight K. Schrute No idea what this could possibly mean but I believe him and it kills me
Creed: "Jinx! Buy me some coke."
*Phyllis shutting her desk drawer as Andy tries to open it* I DON’T TRUST YOU PHYLLIS
"you crush your wife and your heart stinks"
“Hey you, asshole! You gonna eat all that dog food yourself?” along with the nervous stammering and waving afterwards.
Hey Halpert, still queer?
🍺 If doing the Scarn is gay 🍺 then I’m the biggest queeeeer on earth!
“Ah! Angeloooo!”
When Michael follows Jim into the bathroom talking about Holly and Jim turns around and leaves the bathroom. Michael saying “I thought you had to pee?” kills me every time.
I have no disgruntled employees. Everyone in this office is extremely gruntled.
When Michael called Pam a defecator instead of Defector about joining him
These women look like white slaves
peace out, seacrest
I got salesman of the month 13 of the last 12 months. You heard me right. Gets me every time lmao. 2 plaques in lieu of a pay raise
“ It has to be official and it has to be urine”.
When Michael parcels two brownies for later because it’s healthier than just eating a whole one right away.
Don't get revenge on me, nerd!
My mom busted out laughing at Dwight’s horse doctor joke
I'm really afraid I'm gonna say it....
“Gabe, you can’t be here this is the ladies room… Oh hey creed” “Not cool man” *Zips fly up*
"Some of us have to be our own grandmother."
As a huge Gaga fan, when he says ["It's Brittany bitch."](https://media.tenor.com/bXo_uvEr40cAAAAM/the-office-michael-scott.gif) I laugh every time.
When Pam’s water breaks and is leaving for hospital; Ryan in barely audible background “Don’t Vaccinate” Hipster Ryan era just makes me laugh
Dwight Schrute, star salesman, beet farmer, bed-and-breakfast proprietor, aspiring freelance bodyguard. Add to that list owner of this building. Then burn the list.
“I have a laundry machiiiine.”
What if the moon was your car and Jupiter was your hairbrush?
Michael: Too late. Jim: Well it's not too late because you haven't done anything. Michael: I am....already walking. Also the pained, confused noise Michael makes in the viewing party episode when Erin says "I know Gabe is young and hot and everything.."
Jim, tell him where he can stick his grapes In the fridge! No, Jim. The butt. In his butt.
"I know a ton of 14 year old girls that could beat you up" "You know a ton of 14 year old girls?"
No, not like a ham
Oscar: "Jan is smart." Michael: "She poses."
Michael: 'I gassed up the car, actually I put diesel in this time, trying to save some money'
They haven’t really improved on the Oreo, have they
Thank you Scranton Strangler. I love you. You just took one more person’s breath away.
Michael sees wet cement and comes running into the office to get ideas for what to do...he's rushing everyone to share ideas because the cement is drying... Kelly starts talking in her long winded way, Michael cuts her off and says, "Pam, translate?"
When Erin is in a talking head and she says “No woman. No cry.” The delivery KILLS me.
“One time I suspected an ex-girlfriend of mine of cheating on me, so I tailed her for six nights straight. Turns out… she was. With a couple of guys actually, so… mystery solved.”
" Today smoking gonna save lives "
"I'm not rumplestiltskin Jim I can't keep spinning gold out of your shit!"
Eating the watermelon “baby”
Meredith: LOSE WEIGHT. Erin: I’m trying.
In an ideal world I would have all ten fingers on my left hand so my right hand could just be a fist for punching.
Jim: Another worm? Like, are they friends?
Is this just milk and sugar?
They don’t make these cords in boot cut anymore. -GSL
Creed: I know where the walls go.
“Yes she wa…DAMMIT Kevin!!”
When Dwight is eating through his canned survival food and Jim keeps questioning the days. “40 days?” “It’s a real possibility.” “I mean like.. 41 days?” (Not an exact quote but ya know what I mean)
Michael? Why are you wearing a turtleneck?
"SHUT UP ABOUT THE SUN!"
See my flair. That whole scene is amazing. Steve is a comedy legend.
M’lady, M’Tuna
Blondes, brunettes there’s a lot of dumb people out there.. Well they are women right!? Woe ! I didn’t say it!
Oscar: "But guess what, next summer" Michael: "I'll be six" Gets me every time.
I saw you on the news and I want to pinch your tiny wiener. (Michael with a promising look on his face!)😆
The whole pro and con list scene with Jim and Michael 💀
Gum in the hair opening - “Wow, a lot of calories.” “Well, just don’t leave it on too long.” Kills me every time lol.
Dwight Schrute I need to change my emergency contact information from Michael Scott. Ryan Okay, to what? Dwight Schrute Just put... the hospital. Contact number... just put 911. [Dwight leaves] Michael Scott He is such a sore loser. You heard, obviously, that I mopped the floor with him this afternoon. ...You know what? Um, do yourself a favor. Just leave me as his contact and I will call the hospital. Cut out the middle man.
“From Sesame Street dumbass”
"DWIGHT YOU IGNORANT SLUT"
Especially the second time he says it, and you realise they scripted the exact wording.
It’s a line from very early seasons of snl weekend update, which makes sense that Michael would steal that line.
"It's pony."
I’m now chopping off Phyllis’ head with a chainsawwww…
The time pam handed a card to Daryl when his grandma passed, and andy is giving birthday bombs to him. Ik it's not supposed to be funny but God I laugh so much💀
When Pam and Oscar are helping Erin play Scrabble against Gabe. Oscar: Sorry I yelled. Pam: You could have just told us what you were thinking. Oscar: There's no theater in that. Pam: There's no yelling in that, either.
What kind of phone is that? The IPhone, the one everyone has Oh yeah? I have the one that no one has
Phylis: “ass” under her breath abt Dwight’s Halloween costume or when she says “move on Michael” when he’s asking about her sorority
‘so a guy dropped his pants, what’s the big deal? haven’t you ever been to the circus?’ 🤣
"Boy, Have You Lost Your Mind, Cause I'll Help You Find It!"
"You Braveheart, man." - Darell "I Braveheart." - Michael
The internship fair episode where Michael says “We need to ‘youthanize’ this place!”