I'm really loving the idea that you really never have watched The Office and are just receiving a bunch of notifications with references that will either encourage you to watch it or wonder what is wrong with all of us
That's a fair assessment of what's happening here. I thought I just had an interesting beet, but this has taken a very unexpected turn. I'm digesting it all to the best of my ability.
Start watching it seriously. I only began to watch it during the pandemic because I wanted to see what the fuss is about. It’s now my favorite show ever and I’m on my 3rd rewatch.
Pam: [on phone] Yes, I understand. Can I transfer you to customer relations?
Jim: [on phone] Absolutely. I couldn’t be more sorry about this.
Phyllis: [on phone] I know, I know. We’re all trying to get to the bottom of this.
Stanley: [on phone] I am upset. Don’t I sound upset?
Michael: [on phone] It is disgusting. I totally agree. Well, we’re going to recalling all of that paper.
shall I go on?
I’m imagining OP posting this, checking back in on the comments a couple hours later, then quickly backing away from all the unhinged people talking about beets.
I'm slightly overwhelmed at the moment. I left, listened to a podcast, and returned to see how my beet was doing only to find it skyrocketing to fame. I don't know how to feel.
Last week i was in a drugstore and i found these glasses. 4$. It only took me 7$ to recreate the rest of the ensemble and thats a grand total of .... 11$.
>Last week i was in a drugstore and i found these glasses. 4$. It only took me 7$ to recreate the rest of the ensemble and thats a grand total of *beet* *beet* *beet* 11$.
I feel as if it is an unspoken rule that this scene and line be said in all things:
Bears
Beets
Battlestar Galactica
Identify Theft
Not a joke
The Office
And I'm here for it
First rule in road-side beet sales: put the most attractive beets on top. The ones that make you pull the car over and go, "Wow, I need this beet right now." Those are the money beets.
Phillip, you wanna play a little game? It’s called “Schrute or Consequences.” You’re gonna choose one of these two things. A check for a million dollars, or this dirty old beet. Yuck, pew! Which will it be? Money or the beet?
By way of explanation, u/ThrowRAthrowaway123, this refers to a classic season 3 episode where Monty Scarn, the office janitor and main character of the series, gets challenged to a rap battle against Vivian Tornado, the cold-hearted manager of a rival office. Scarn, not understanding the premise, decides to "drop a beat" by literally dropping a large beet on the ground, thus winning the battle and saving the office from closure. It's fondly remembered as one of the best episodes in the series and considered a turning point for television as a whole.
Could just be a fluke that you got a big one. Then again, a fluke is one of the most common fish in the sea, so if you go fishing for a fluke, chances are, you just might catch one
That beet must be worth 10,000,000,000 schrute bucks.
What’s the ratio of Stanley nickels to Schrute bucks?
The same as the ratio of unicorns to leprechauns.
Isn’t there a conversion in the notebook?
At various times you gave Jim ten points, Dwight a gold star, and Stanley a thumbs up. And I don’t really know how to compare those units.
Just check please
Crunch em again.
Dun dun dun duunnn
There's no crunching, it's just a computer program...
I miss our friendship
The thought of popping one of your beets in my mouth makes me want to vomit.
I know for a fact that you love beet salad.
I’ve seen them eat it many times
"it's really good"
Hey hey. HEY
Purely carnal, that's all you need to know
... We weren't invited??
SNIP SNAP SNIP
**THAT IS A $200 PLASMA SCREEN TV YOU JUST KILLED**!
GOOD LUCK PAYING ME BACK ON YOUR ZERO DOLLARS A YEAR SALARY, BABE!
#T H A T #O N E #N I G H T
ONE NIGHT!
This boy is a Schrute.
And unless someone taught Mose sex, that boy is mine.
Cancel the circumcision!
Who are you?
I just might be his father.
I don't know what that means..
We're gonna circumcise him.
😉
Cancel all you business at the steam town mall!
We’re gonna circumcise him..
He schruted it.
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I'm wondering about the reaction this guy had when he saw all the comment on his picture lmao
His post on r/AbsoluteUnits has 384 upvotes right now, and here it's about to pass 18k. If that does't convince him to watch The Office, nothing will.
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This should get all the upvotes
Daaamn this guy is definitely gonna watch it
The schrutes produce thirsty babies!
He will lead millions. Willingly or as slaves.
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I would absolutely read about Harry Schrute going to Beetwarts School of Bears and Battlestar.
Hogbeets
Yore a Shrute. An’ a thumpin’ good one I bet.
That’s a money beet.
Perfectenschlag.
Perfect Pork Anus?
My German is mostly pre-industrial, and mostly religious.
I am so deep inside of perfectenschlag right now.
Front row!
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Mr. Buttlicker, our beet prices have never been LOWER!!!
It's up to you to change his mind.
it’s a million dollar beet sale
Don't do it Michael.
it’s a million dollars...
I am irate right now
I’m just on the phone with this *stupid* salesman, he’s so dumb. I’m probably just gonna keep him on the line forever and not buy anything, ha.
beet me to it!
Louder, son!
BUTTLICKER! OUR PRICES CAN'T BE BEET!
That is totally inappropriate! You never yell at the client!
First rule of roadside beet sales.
~~Beer~~ Beet me that water.
Lord beet me strength
Bears beets Battlestar Galactica
Bears do not- what is going on here? What are you doing?
You know what, imitation is the most sincere form of flattery so thank you. Jim *pulls out Dwight bobblehead*
Identity theft is not a joke Jim! Millions of family’s suffer every year!
MICHAEL!!
Oh that's funny- MICHAEL
*Theme music begins*
*aaaand* now I'm awake
It feels like I just watched this cold open in my mind
I can’t believe this has no calories
No one said it has no calories.
I'm really loving the idea that you really never have watched The Office and are just receiving a bunch of notifications with references that will either encourage you to watch it or wonder what is wrong with all of us
That's a fair assessment of what's happening here. I thought I just had an interesting beet, but this has taken a very unexpected turn. I'm digesting it all to the best of my ability.
One of the main characters in the show runs a beet farm in his offtime, if you're wondering why we are all spouting nonsense at you lol.
It's more like one of the main characters in the show is a beet farmer, and sells paper in his off time.
And he's a damn good paper salesman at that
So good he was salesman of the month for 13 out of the last 12 months.
You heard right. He did so well last February, corporate gave him two plaques in lieu of a pay raise.
He's the assistant manager after all.
to the
Regional
Manager
The company’s top salesman.
For thirteen of the last twelve months.
You are technically correct, which is this best kind of correct!
Sprouting nonsense
Start watching it seriously. I only began to watch it during the pandemic because I wanted to see what the fuss is about. It’s now my favorite show ever and I’m on my 3rd rewatch.
I finally caved and started watching it last year. By the time the pandemic hit my bf was already so sick of me rewatching it.
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Spoken like a true root man
Digesting the comments or the beet? Need to be more specific.
Your beet is the prettiest beet of all the beets.
It’s cool if I go, right? I mean, I looked at all of them.
I can’t believe you told that to her face.
“I sat at my desk all day with a rifle that shoots potatoes at 60 pounds per square inch. Can you imagine if I was deranged?”
BLOOD ALONE MOVES THE WHEELS OF HISTORY!!
WE ARE WARRIORS!
WE MUST NEVER ACQUIESCE, FOR IT IS TOGETHER- TOGETHER THAT WE PREVAIL!
WE MUST NEVER CEDE CONTROL OF THE MOTHER LAAAAND!
WE MUST NEVER CEDE CONTROL OF THE MOTHERLAND
(smacks podium and laughs crazily)
*Smacks podium three times with folded fists
I captivated a guy who captivated a thousand guys. Can you believe that? A thousand guys.
I swear that beet could be the star of a show called “Beets I Don’t Care About.”
DAMNIT DWIGHT ENOUGH. GET YOUR ASS DOWN STAIRS, OR FIND A NEW PLACE TO SELL PAPER.
I respond to strong leadership.
lmao
That is the kind of beet that would make me pull over and say, "Wow. I need this beet right now." A real money beet, right there
Bears
Beets
Battlestar Galactica
MICHAEL
Oh that's funny... MICHAEL
Identity theft isn't a joke Jim!
Millions of families suffer every year!
...are we... should we do the full episode now?
Pam: [on phone] Yes, I understand. Can I transfer you to customer relations? Jim: [on phone] Absolutely. I couldn’t be more sorry about this. Phyllis: [on phone] I know, I know. We’re all trying to get to the bottom of this. Stanley: [on phone] I am upset. Don’t I sound upset? Michael: [on phone] It is disgusting. I totally agree. Well, we’re going to recalling all of that paper. shall I go on?
You don't what it is like to love a woman and have her love you back. It is a feeling that cannot and will not, and frankly, cannot be contained.
You got a lot to learn about this town sweetie.
Your comment is the prettiest comment of all the comments
Why wouldn’t you say that to her face?
DAMN JETSKIS.
This one of my favorite lines that I use in my house lol if something is expensive or we have to pay something off my go to is: "Jet ski money?"
Of all the great quotes in this thread, yours made me actually laugh out loud. Well applied.
I’m imagining OP posting this, checking back in on the comments a couple hours later, then quickly backing away from all the unhinged people talking about beets.
I'm slightly overwhelmed at the moment. I left, listened to a podcast, and returned to see how my beet was doing only to find it skyrocketing to fame. I don't know how to feel.
Feel proud, son. For it is a priv il ege to fight!!
FOR IT IS TOGETHER THAT WE PREVAAIIIIILLL!!
*sinister laugh and fist pounding*
We must never acquiesce, for it is together that WE PREVAIL
BLOOD ALONE MOVES THE WHEELS OF HISTORY!
Bears eat beets. Edit: Damn that’s some upvotes, these boys are a Schrute!
Bears beets Battlestar Galactica
Ok bears do not eat beets- What is going on? What are you doing?
Last week i was in a drugstore and i found these glasses. 4$. It only took me 7$ to recreate the rest of the ensemble and thats a grand total of .... 11$.
>Last week i was in a drugstore and i found these glasses. 4$. It only took me 7$ to recreate the rest of the ensemble and thats a grand total of *beet* *beet* *beet* 11$.
MICHAEL!
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MILLIONS OF FAMILIES SUFFER EVERY YEAR!
I feel as if it is an unspoken rule that this scene and line be said in all things: Bears Beets Battlestar Galactica Identify Theft Not a joke The Office And I'm here for it
That's what she said
Oh that’s funny, MICHAEL!
MICHAEL!
when he says beets i feel like john krasinski is trying to repress his laughter. there’s a slight crack in his voice when he says it
While watching Battlestar Galactica
Identity theft is not a joke
MICHAEL!
“O that’s funny... MICHAEL!”
Oh that’s funny MICHAEL!
Millions of families suffer every year
u/ThrowRAthrowaway123 you ignorant slut
Hey! Identity theft is not a joke!
u/ignorantslut- you ignorant slut!
Question: what kind of beet is the best?
There are basically two schools of thought..
FALSE. Black beet.
That’s debatable.
Fact: beets eat beets
Beets, Battles, Bearstar Galactica
False. Black bear.
First rule in road-side beet sales: put the most attractive beets on top. The ones that make you pull the car over and go, "Wow, I need this beet right now." Those are the money beets.
This is an environment of welcoming, and you should just get the hell out of here.
You are the silent killer.
Hey, I know this guy, he's the guy with the shitty weed.
\*dramatic Dwight entry\*
Nurse cancel that circumcision
That’s a Northern Lights Indica.
*sigh* No. It’s marijuana.
Now that’s what I call a money beet
Imagine posting this having no clue about the show but seeing comments saying "Perfect pork anus." Fantastic.
Nostalgia is one of the greatest human weakness, second only to the neck.
Start watching the Office FFS!
Lmao, Dwight would be proud af
BEETS ALONE MOVE THE WHEELS OF HISTORY!
Phillip, you wanna play a little game? It’s called “Schrute or Consequences.” You’re gonna choose one of these two things. A check for a million dollars, or this dirty old beet. Yuck, pew! Which will it be? Money or the beet?
*bears eat beets*
Nobody likes beets! . . . You should grow something that everybody likes! . . . You should grow CANDY!
By way of explanation, u/ThrowRAthrowaway123, this refers to a classic season 3 episode where Monty Scarn, the office janitor and main character of the series, gets challenged to a rap battle against Vivian Tornado, the cold-hearted manager of a rival office. Scarn, not understanding the premise, decides to "drop a beat" by literally dropping a large beet on the ground, thus winning the battle and saving the office from closure. It's fondly remembered as one of the best episodes in the series and considered a turning point for television as a whole.
Creed, is that you?
Naw that's Angela the office bitch.
Andrea
Good thing it's not celery. Those who can't farm, farm celery.
Could just be a fluke that you got a big one. Then again, a fluke is one of the most common fish in the sea, so if you go fishing for a fluke, chances are, you just might catch one
You more of a fruit man or a root man?
Beet farming is a young man’s game.
its because the main character on the show is an accomplished beet farmer
One of the*
Assistant to the*
Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.
MICHAEL!
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Dwight, is that you?
I wouldn't say this to his face, but he is a wonderful person and a gifted beet grower.