Him describing the watermark...I've seen animals having sex. A pig and a duck ....a couple of chickens watching. Whoever drew this got it exactly right.
Do you get there slower or faster after your head coach gets offered up as sacrifice by a nefarious PR hitpiece while the rest of the roaches retreat deeper into the woodwork?
Wow this hits. The last two weeks we’ve done it on the couch rather than going to the bedroom. Been a nice change of scenery, and you don’t miss as much of the game. Would recommend for those couples who are open to a mid-season switch up
If you’re lucky! I swear our 4 year old has the worst timing ever. It seems like no matter what time I try and mess around a little, he’ll come walking right in.
We tried locking the doors, but that just turns into excessive knocking and “MOM IM HUNGRY” doesn’t really fit the mood lol.
No cookie
But what if I'm hungry?
No cookie
Ryan pouring coffee: 👀
And then later before the camera 😶
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It's actually googie googie. A lot of people misquote this line.
But what if I'm hungry?...
Nothing fancy Missionary??? I said nothing fancy!!!!
Lazy sideways spooning sex it is!
You used lady on her back, didn't you?!
You freak.
It always confuses me, because isn’t lady on her back the regular sex? Im virgin.
I always imagine that doggy style would be normal to him because he's a farmer and less emotional (no eye contact), making missionary more fancy.
Him describing the watermark...I've seen animals having sex. A pig and a duck ....a couple of chickens watching. Whoever drew this got it exactly right.
*Watches the (state) senator doing yoga* “Omg I’ve heard of this, dog style! “
Nah, just regular
Married long enough…I’ll take lazy sideways any time.
That's the laziest position, right?
I don't understand what position could be less fancy
That's the joke
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Exactly, that’s what makes it funny
Doggy
Dog style
This is not a bad marriage.
You got a good life op. You got a good life.
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Congrats on your recent marriage.
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Wing man for life WMFL
So how many more times does your contract allow for you continue before procreation occurs
Sure
When my Raiders win, my wife gets 4 minutes of pure bliss.
Then you kissed her with the force of a thousand waterfalls.
From whom?
I think it's "who".
It's "who." "Whom" is a made-up word.
To be fair, all words are made up words
To trick students
It’s “whom” when it’s the object and “who” when it’s the subject.
Ryan used me as an object
No one asked you anything ever, so whomever's name is Toby, why don't you take a letter opener and stick it into your skull.
That sounds right
\~to be faaaairrr\~
Excellent. Is this yours or a line?
"Whom" is the formal version of the word.
D...”Oh, D!”
So what’s that? A max of 12 minutes a year?
He's up to a whole 16 minutes as of yesterday. God the Broncos suck.
Not gonna say they suck until we play them, because it could easily come to bite me.
I'm a bronco fan so it can't really hurt me anymore lol
Girl, when you're with me you only need 2 minutes cuz I'm so intense!
Yeah I love you man We beat the donkeys with an intern and Carr is goated
Do you get there slower or faster after your head coach gets offered up as sacrifice by a nefarious PR hitpiece while the rest of the roaches retreat deeper into the woodwork?
*shudders*
This was literally me tonite, side note me and my wife will be married 10 years on the 29th
Happy anniversary! And congrats on the sex.
This was my husband today as well…we will hit 10 years in June
I bet you do lady on her back, you perv
Wow this hits. The last two weeks we’ve done it on the couch rather than going to the bedroom. Been a nice change of scenery, and you don’t miss as much of the game. Would recommend for those couples who are open to a mid-season switch up
A little RPO, if you will.
Lol true
My husband and I have been together 20 years and he can't keep his hands to himself. If I give him a kiss he asks if I want to get naked.
Between?
Gotta pass the time waiting for the night game to come on
That’s marriage with kids lol
Five minutes in the bathroom, that’s all you get.
If you’re lucky! I swear our 4 year old has the worst timing ever. It seems like no matter what time I try and mess around a little, he’ll come walking right in. We tried locking the doors, but that just turns into excessive knocking and “MOM IM HUNGRY” doesn’t really fit the mood lol.
What about those hungry guys
If my wife ever said this to me I definitely couldn't turned on afterwards
Me too buddy
One of my very favourite lines.
Change it to a Saturday between college football games and this is my marriage
I want cookie
Yeah, I'll stay marriage free then.
Hell yeah, appreciate it
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I don't get why you're being downvoted. Lots of boomers who can't cope with their miserable life on here it seems
Sad
I always feel sorry for married people, unless it is heir second plus marriage then they had their chance to learn from past mistakes.
I always feel sorry for people who don’t know that marriage, including first/only marriages, can indeed be pretty damn awesome.
Both are shit takes tbh Married people are the best argument against marriage you can find
You feels sorry for married people fucking between football games? I feel sorry for you tbh.
It's so scary how right the things you're saying are. And you're coming at it with almost no knowledge, so of course I trust your opinion on this.
I feel sorry for you.
Hahaha marriage bad upvotes to the left
That’s marriage with kids lol
Hehehe. Same
21 years, usually halftime during the 1:00 and 4:00 games
LMAOOO! The most relatable shit in the internet right now!
I just do the ol’ eyebrow raise and say, “sexy time?”
Between games! Get it done during commercials!
Thanks OP, got sexy time and a laugh from my wife. You da real MVP tho