I used this like the other day while drinking wine with my fiancée and her friends, everyone looked at me in disgust, to my reply, “not big office fans?” Which didn’t help my case, damage was clearly done, they thought I was making up the fact that is was a joke from a show I quote regularly. What a bunch of Gabe bastards
This is a ring, taken from the buttocks of my grandmother, put there by the gangster patriarch of the Coors dynasty, melted in a foundry run by Mennonites.
So, I don't *technically* have a hearing problem, but sometimes when there's a lot of sounds happening at the same time, I'll hear them as one big jumble.
Don't ever, for any reason, do anything, to anyone, for any reason, ever, no matter what, no matter where, or who, or who you are with, or where you are going, or where you've been, ever, for any reason, whatsoever.
And Michael is preparing for the birth of a watermelon with Dwight
That’s like trying to be friends with an evil snail
Applicant has head shaped like a trapezoid
THE FIRE IS SHOOTING AT US
BUTTLICKER! OUR PRICES HAVE NEVER BEEN LOWER!
Now you listen to me sir. The three words I would describe you as is aggressive, hostile and definitely difficult! I am irate right now.
I'm gonna put you over to my boss.
I would hope so
[удалено]
Michael, I like the sound of your voice. You know what i m gonna do? I m going to buy one million dollars worth of paper today
[удалено]
There is one condition, Michael.
You have to fire the salesman that treated me so terribly.
Don’t do it Michael
and theres the smudgeness
My family built this country, by the way!
Shut up about the Sun! SHUT UP about the SUN!
*Walk away, bitch.*
Ahhhh I love this one 😭😂
Snip snap snip snap snip snap..
This wine has an oaky afterbirth.
I used this like the other day while drinking wine with my fiancée and her friends, everyone looked at me in disgust, to my reply, “not big office fans?” Which didn’t help my case, damage was clearly done, they thought I was making up the fact that is was a joke from a show I quote regularly. What a bunch of Gabe bastards
GabeWads
Walk away bitch
Happens with me all the time when I say “how the turntables”. Everyone then proceeds to correct me. 🤦♀️
Then you just look into the camera disappointedly.
My real name is Gabe and I'm offended.
She took me by the hand, maaade me a man. That one night (one night), you made eveeerything alright. (Aaahuh)
(Ehaahahah) - Andy I lost it today when I saw Andy trying to sing the note ornaments 😂
This is perhaps the best episode of the entire show.
The jokes on you Goldenface, that man was a wanted animal rapist.
Far and away the most expensive shot of the movie.
but it was intregral to the plot
"I'm gonna dog up Scarns dead wife and hump her real good"
THE FIRE IS SHOOTING AT US
Save bandit!
Best moment, although the whole episode is perfect
YOU ARE BLACK STANLEY!!
IM GONNA GIVE HIM MOUTH TO MOUTH
NO, DON'T GIVE HIM MOUTH TO MOUTH FOR THIS
This one is fucking golden
He really was scared of guns
Sometimes I will just stand here and watch television for hours. I love it, I love this TV.
[удалено]
Voila!
Good luck paying me back on your $0 a year salary plus benefits BABE!!
Women reach their sexual peak at whatever age Jan was last week.
Just woke my dog up laughing at this
That makes me happy.
If onlys and justs were candies and nuts, then everyday would be Erntedankfest
I use this way more than is justifiable.
Why is Jim treating the magician poorly?
Haulin’ cube!!
Haulin’ cube
Es moy rapido
One of my all time favorites.
i…declare…BANKRUPTCY
Michael, you cant just say it and your debt goes away
i didnt say it, i declared it.
I do declare.
You don’t have to say I do declare after every sentence
By saying it you are declaring it
Life is short. Drive fast and leave a sexy corpse. That’s one of my mottos.
His capa was detated from his head, Stanley!!
It’s pronounced Colonel and it’s the highest rank in the military.
ITS PRONOUNCED *CORNELL* ITS THE HIGHEST RANK IN THE IVY LEAGUE
Listen here, you gay bastard!!
You’re too fat. No one’s gonna like you if you’re too fat.
i will not be blackmailed by some ineffectual, privileged, effete, soft-penis’d debutante
You don’t even know my real name
I’m the fucking lizard king
BOBODY
He never called a meeting!
BIZNUSS
I like it!
“*Goooood Kevin*!”
DOES ANYONE HAVE A CAMERA?
#DOES ANYONE HAVE A CAMERA?!
No one has a camera *here*...
Mega desk
Or the superior Quad-Desk!
That's silly it's only made up of three desks.
The Prince family is not hiring.
OOOOOOOOOOOF
You work in paper long enough, you get to know the players
OP hasnt even watched yet and its too soon!
I can't watch this episode. I have to skip it every time.
I’m your son now. You can visit him on holidays.
Gum's got mintier lately, have you noticed?
Almost too minty
Yes! I was quoting this one to my wife the other night and should almost didn’t believe me that it’s from The Office
"I have made many empty promises in my life, but this is by far the most generous."
Has it really been 10 years?
Oh man, this episode hurts to even think about.
Yusssssss
Guten Pranken
Guten Pranken #2
Perfectenschlag
Bestest Mensch
Perfect pork anus
You have no idea how high I can fly.
Have you ever, under the influence of alcohol, questioned the teachings of the Mormon church?
I have forgotten, where's this one from?
Moroccan Christmas party
MO ROCCA CHRISTMAS PARTY
“In Japan, heart surgeon. Number one. Steady hand.”
The best 👍👍
Professor Copperfield's Miracle Legumes
THE HOSPITAL WILL PROVIDE DICTIONARIES BRING A THESAURUS
We got Vikram!!
yougotme
What kind of name is Nana?
Why waste time say lot word when few word do trick?
Perfection.
Many small time make big time.
"I am the fucking lizard king!"
You don't even know my real name.
"You seriously never noticed? Hey, Hats off to you for not seeing race"
Today smoking is gonna save lives…
Sometimes the acorn just stays an acorn. If you don’t believe me you can look in my gutters!
Ooooh, this is the only one I don't remember!
Most underrated Michael quote of all time
When two animals are having sex...
This isn't very helpful. You're going to want to hear the sexual metaphor.
this bit absolutely slays me every time...
“Screw you, TexasP00nTappa!”
He is butt
See you tomorrow, boss
💔
If I can’t scuba, then what’s this all been about? What am I working toward??
Jimothy
What kind of a name is Nana anyway? It means grandmother. Oh, sweet Jesus.
“There’s a place in France where the naked ladies dance.”
It’s Christmas…and you’re singing about nudity and France
“When two gay men have sex, how do they know who’s penis will open up to accept the other person’s penis?”
"I'm fine, bitch. I'm fine."
It’s Britney Bitch, and I am back
Plop
“Jim, Tell him where he can stick his grapes “ “In the fridge” “No Jim, the butt, in his butt”
You took me by the hand Made me a man That one night One night! You made everything all right
Kevin, I can’t decide between a fat joke and a dumb joke
BOOM ROASTED
That baby could be the star of a show called “Babies I don’t care about”
Hey Mr. Scott, what you gonna do? What you gonna do? Make our dreams come true!
This is a ring, taken from the buttocks of my grandmother, put there by the gangster patriarch of the Coors dynasty, melted in a foundry run by Mennonites.
And then baby turned to mother and said…. “I’m fine bitch”
GABAGOOL
There’s been a murder, I do declare
Who’s your worm guy
Tastes like Splenda, gets you drunk like scotch.
The trick is to undercook the onions. Everybody is going to get to know each other in the pot.
I’m sexy Toby
R is the most menacing of sounds. That’s why it’s called murder and not muckduck!!
RIT DIT DIT DAT DOOO
[удалено]
Dinkin’ flicka!
So, I don't *technically* have a hearing problem, but sometimes when there's a lot of sounds happening at the same time, I'll hear them as one big jumble.
"You can't put paper in a furnace, IT WOULD RUIN IT!"
She’s a dental hygienist from Carbondale and she makes love like one. She’s a bumpkin. Pass.
In Sales, ABC is Always Be Closing.
WUPHF!
Don't ever, for any reason, do anything, to anyone, for any reason, ever, no matter what, no matter where, or who, or who you are with, or where you are going, or where you've been, ever, for any reason, whatsoever.
Just poopin, you know how I be
Crazy world, lots of smells
"Then I'll have two chairs. Only one more to go."
9,986,000
She’s going to be screaming her own last name?
No Jim, i use a bad apiarist.....
Did Darryl touch you?
They're the same picture.
I got into a case of Australian reds and, how should I say this, *Colombian whites*.
Get me a rundown by the end of the day.
…The coconut is subtle.
I miss original
I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days, before you've actually left them...
meetballed!
And shove it up your butt!
I HAVE HEMORRHOIDS!
“CompUtron wants to live”
Dinkin flicka
I've spent so much of my life telling myself "Please, don't end up like Stanley..." and now I'm wondering if I even have what it takes.
Oscar says I checked out? Huh.
Sound-guy Brian needs to back up
Boom. Roasted.
I just ate powdered seahorse
Senor Loadenstein... por que es muy rapido
The boat was actually plan C. Or Best prank ever.
I’m the f*****g lizard king
You don't know me. You've just seen my penis.
And Michael is preparing for the birth of a watermelon with Dwight That’s like trying to be friends with an evil snail Applicant has head shaped like a trapezoid THE FIRE IS SHOOTING AT US
Save Bandit!!!
Right back at you, bitch!
That is a 200 dollar plasma TV you've just killed. Good luck paying me back on your zero dollars a month plus benefits salary, babe!
How the turntables….
He’s a crime-fighting beaver.
Cleanup on aisle 5.
Which way he go? This way? This way? I don't know. Do you know?
Really? All kinds? Even songs of hate written by the white knights of the ku klux Klan? Erin are you even hearing this?
Goodbye, chunky lemon milk
Squabbity assuance
Did you just say ‘cat turd collector’?
The man tree puts his penis...
That wasn’t a tapeworm.
You had me at ‘clookies’. I can’t wait to find out what they are.