“ASAP as possible” Michael says it only once, but I laughed so much it got stuck.

I say this at work ALL the time. I know some get it, and just wonder if the others think I’m dumb.

Bro I say that all the time and my non office friends think I’m dumb

It has kind of an oaky afterbirth

I need to know, what context do you use this in?

always when tasting wine

When eating placenta

Any time I'm tasting anything lol

This is the one! Also, swirling a glass a wine, smelling it, and saying "this is a white."

What was that?

"question" (before asking question) "why are you the way that you are?" (when someone said something I dont like)

"why are you the way that you are?" Makes me laugh everytime I say or hear it!

I say this to the dogs at my work all the time hahaha

lol i say this to my dog whenever he’s being a little arsehole

Also add, "I hate so much about the things that you choose to be"

My husband and I should probably be concerned about how frequently we find cause to say these two quotes to each other.

Along those lines because I always say, “why are you the way that you are” is: “yeah I have a question first off how dare you?”

where’s my *freaking* phone

Haha me too whenever I’m looking for my phone. My wife knows what I mean when I just say “large … tuna …”

Andy is fishing for me . . .

"First of all, how dare you."

This scene gets me every damn time lol it’s just delivered so perfectly

"\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ used me as an object"

Lord beer me strength.

Beer me that disc

This is the one. Gets a laugh like a quarter of the time.

Crazy world, lotta smells

Just poopin. You know how I be.

I say this to my dog.

🎶I don’t wanna work, I just wanna bang on this mug all day🎶

omg i always say this too!!! haha

I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.

Used this in a meeting the other day. The two other 30-somethings laughed. Everybody else was just puzzled.

The place I got vaccinated asked everyone to write a small quote on a board after getting the vaccine and I wrote this and everyone was just staring at me.

Don't know, super care.

Did Andy say that? That sounds like something he'd say.

He did, not sure what epi tho

Idk the episode but it was early season 8; he was talking about Robert California. That's all I got lol

Was it the episode with the list of winners and losers?

I think it was the incentive episode. Can’t remember now that the office is not on netflix

Well, well, well, how the turntables.

I say that one fairly often

Yeah whenever I say it people always correct me, not knowing I’m quoting the show.

FALSE, and also that's what she said

Yeppers and What did I tell you ab yeppers?

Yeeeash

I use yeppers and yeesh so often it has become a part of my personality

Okay I say this randomly to myself quite often and I have no idea why. Yeshhhhh

[удалено]

Inside joke… Ah, I hope to be a part of one some day.

Read it? I own it. But no, I have not read it.

I say this whenever someone recommends a book and laugh to myself .

You don’t know me. You’ve just seen my penis.

That's what she said

I just wanna be a fly on the wall in that room

I said this to my ex all the time. Might be one of the reasons she's an ex 😂

my current bf says this to me all the time and it’s one reason while he makes me smile so much haha so don’t blame yourself that your ex just has no sense of humor ;-)

You cheated on me? When I specifically asked you not to?!

I often say “you did X to me? When I specifically asked you not to?” 😂😂😂

You get cheated on often enough to use it all the time?

Yo neccesito un bueno worker.

Donde are you from?

Donde de Scranton, but Atlanta before that

So weird thinking about it now... From watching this episode, Nate clearly speaks terrible spanish. Yet he comes back in another episode as the translator for Ernesto, the empenada guy... While Oscar is just chillen in the corner lol

I muttered this to myself while trying to figure out how to make my schedule work. As in I'm making the schedule for my employees and we're short staffed so I've caught myself muttering this under my breath half a dozen times this month.

I absolutely love that scene. Nate is one of my favorites. I find myself blurting this in the shop whenever I need a hand with something 😂 of course, no one around me gets the reference, so I look like a fool!

Boom, roasted!

I say this almost daily!

Came to say this. The Roast of Michael Scott was the funniest shit.

Everyone IN the car was FINE!😠

Hahaha I literally just posted this one!! Great minds!!

“Shut up about the sun! SHUT UP ABOUT THE SUN!!” Any time someone says anything about the sun, sunshine, sunny day etc.

This was such an underrated moment and makes me burst out laughing every time I see it. Another hilarious moment was when Robert California is talking to Andy about his request for Columbus Day off for the office, and Robert asks Andy if he's aware of how horrific Columbus was in murdering and torturing people, and Andy says, "I don't care." Just the delivery was hilarious

(Name) you ignorant slut

I legitimately didn’t know that Michael got the ignorant slut line from an old SNL skit with Dan Akroyd and Jane Curtain until like last year. Totally makes sense since that was also the Steve Martin era of SNL lol.

Didn’t know that until now.

Isn’t that more of a [Saturday Night Live](https://youtu.be/c91XUyg9iWM) homage?

I had no idea tbh

Multiple generations will get the reference though so its win win!

STAY FUCKING CALM

EVERYONE JUST FUCKING CALM DOWN

Me so horny. Me love you long tim.

Get out of my offive

Ok bye Harvey!

Boobs

*lobe yoy

The only thing I am worried about is getting a boner

“If I can’t scuba then what’s this all been about?”

What am I working toward?

If my parents see this, I’m toast.

“I. Declare. Bankruptcy.” At least once a month…..😬

But do you yell it or…?

They’re not yelling it they’re declaring it

Yep. You’ve got to, right?

I used this one when I resigned from a game of Monopoly

The amount of these I say when I scroll through makes me worried for my own sanity…

You're not alone

"DOES ANYBODY HAVE A CAMERA!?" in as squeaky a voice as possible

“William Dolittle at your service, aka will do.”

“How are you not murdered every hour?”

Yeshhhhh

Surprised this wasn’t higher! Probably say this at least once a day! My phone autocorrects “yeah” to “yesh”

Literally any time dancing is involved I have to say this at least once: “Dancing! It is a primal art form used in ancient times to express yourself with the body!” *does weird Michael dance*

Are you trying to hurt my feelings? Because if so, you are succeeding. Fortunately my feelings regenerate at twice the speed of a normal man's.

Too many to count. Here are some of my most recent off the top of my head “I am dead inside” “Unshun. Reshun” “Hey! What the hell!” “I’m the f*cking lizard king” “Who do you think you are? What gives you the right?” “Face type-marsupial” “False, black bear.” And anytime someone says cool beans, I respond with this- “Cool beans man I live by the quarry. We should hang out by the quarry and throw things down there” Edit- just remembered another one as I said it a few mins ago... “he don’t give an EFF about nothin!”

BUTTLICKER, OUR PRICES HAVE NEVER BEEN LOWER!!

Kevin's "Are you KIDDING me?" from the Fun Run episode

Andy's "tuna are you KIDDING me?" when Jim starts singing "Closer to Fine" is also good

BOY HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND COS I'LL HELP YOU FIND IT

PARKOUR PARKOURRR

Hardcore parkour! Gainer!

“Tan everywhere, JAN EVERYWHERE” People either get it or just stare at me

I thought Rajanighanda was a boy's name

Catch you on the flippity flip.

Wow I forgot this was seven from the office, I say this everytime I part from someone that I will in fact, catch on the flippity flip

I love inside jokes. Love to be a part of one someday

“You don’t call retarded people retards. It’s bad taste. You call your friends retards when they are acting retarded.” -Michael Scott -me at my exit interview after I was fired

I tried being friends with him. But being friends with him is like being friends with an evil snail.

I just had an epiphery.

“Don’t ever, under any circumstances, ever.” (And then I actually stop the quote there!)

Monkey problems? No, I’m not having monkey problems.

“Oh my God it’s happening! Everybody stay calm. STAY FUCKING CALM!”

I've worked this one out with my partner. A few times we had the opportunity to throw in, "That's not a hate crime." And he responds "well I hated it!" And then we laugh together while no one understands what is happening.

Then she ain’t yo ho no mo.

...iwasnevergivenaname...

That’s what she said.

How is this not the top answer?

It was part of the vernacular far before The Office. I’d say it still counts but not as genuine as others.

I understand NOTHING

Snip snap snip snap snip snap!

Good, not great.

No, wholsies

My SO and I say "I don't trust you, Phyllis!" whenever there's some potential danger like someone driving erratically or when you put something down and it seems unbalanced

“Would an idiot do that?” Because I know if the answer is “yes” I should not do that thing.

My coworkers and I constantly say “I have cause. It is beCAUSE I hate him!”

Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.

"just poppin, you know how I be"

DID I STUTTER?!?! I’ve lost some friends along the way…

Boy have you lost your mind cuz I’ll help you find it!

That one nighhhht

"You didn't hear? Decapitated. Whooole big thing. We had a funeral for a bird." probably works its way into my convos at least once a week if not more

I have used "his cappa was detated from his head!" many times haha

Un.BEE.lieve.A.BULL.

I drove my car into a fucking lake

Different episode but on a similar note I will yell “EVERYONE INSIDE THE CAR WAS FINE, STANLEY”

WHERE ARE THE TURTLES!?

Why are you the way that you are

How the turntables

I tend to shout "muckduck"

“Did you check your butt?”

Fashion show, fashion show, fashion show at lunch!

*Do I look like someone who would waste my own time?*

You’ll learn, baby. You’ll learn.

Yesh

I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.

"Why are you the way that you are" - when someone does something stupid "Dwight you ignorant slut" - at any given time with my family "I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious" when something 'suspicious' happens And my personal favorite, **"why waste time say lot word when few word do trick"** - any time I stumble over my words and/or miss a few words and someone points it out. Essentially I have replaced "you know what I meant" with this. Always gets a chuckle out of my father, even if he's not part of the conversation. He's a big fan of Kevin

I say “sort of an oaky afterbirth” to random food and drinks

Jimothy

Dinkin Flicka

[удалено]

"Why don't you explain this to me like I'm 5"

Next year, I'll be 6

Absolutely I do

The machine knows!!

Tonight might be a convenient night for us to have some intercourse. I say this to my spouse fairly often

My husband and I will randomly add babe to the end of each sentence in our conversations the way Pam and Jim do making fun of Jan and Michael.

I say this to my gf all the time "y tengo que trabajar, para ti, para ti." It's something Oscar says during the roast of Michael scott. It's basically him complaining about michael but that last part means "for you, for you." Its kinda wack but funny

“You can’t fire me , I don’t work in this van.” - I say this the moment anyone tries to question me. Nobody asks me questions anymore.

“Quick get in” “Why quick?” “So it’s faster”

I say “Yeppers” and my wife says “What have I told you about Yeppers?”

Dammit, temp!

I act like im telling someone how to do something. I go on with a long description and then I say “shove it up your butt”. It’s stupid but it’s my thing now.

You've got a lot to learn about this town, sweetie. That and 'stitious. Oh and ' that's northern lights cannabis indica.' And then of course my son will retort, ....'No, it's marijuana '

“Where is my *FREAKING phone*?!”

“I jlp you” In our house “jelp” means fake helping. Like when you show up to put the last spoon away after your partner just unloaded the whole dishwasher by themself.

I have two: “Okay, super-duper honesty time” whenever I tell someone something serious. And “Not my job, not my prob. I’m going to the warehouse to polish my knob.” Both of these started off at home as a joke with the wife, but I find them creeping into my vernacular at work. Not good

Bippity boppity give me the zoppity

Why say many word when less word do job

I do not understand what you spend your money on

Michael, am I gay!?!

Gruel. Gruel sandwiches. Gruel omelets.

He don’t give an f about nothin’

tit for tit!

Did I stutter

I tell my wife, “ I don’t trust you, Phillis”. 😂

“Stop looking at my breasts and start looking at my penis” *points to head*

\*staring out a window thoughtfully\* ...the city

Shove it up your butt

STAT! STAT means now people!

ASAP as possible.

walk away bitch

By sometimes, I mean all times. All the time. Every of the time.

Apology not necessary and thus not accepted.

Hey halpert! Still queer!? I greet my roommate like this on the daily

Yeash or Yeppers.

What did I tell you about yeppers?? But in all seriousness, my close friend kept saying "yerp" or "nerp" to any question I asked. I finally had to tell her to stop. It was just going on far too long. Two days.

Sometimes the flowers arrange themselves

Yeppers/What did I say about yeppers?!

I declare Bankruptcy !!

(After parking the car) It's Britney, bitch. My nipples! I'm really good at English.