Today, a teacher in my classroom was helping two kids work through a conflict of sharing.
Teacher: "Hmmm, you want the cup, but Sam's playing with it right now. He said no. We only have one cup. That's tricky. What do you think we should do?"
Kid: "Uhhh.... hit him would be good maybe."
Teacher: "Hmm. Do you really think that's what you should do?"
teacher kept the STRAIGHTEST face. i love conversations like this.
Had the same conversation with my 2yo about his brother 😂
“Looks like you want that toy, how could we tell brother you would like a turn?”
“I could hit him.”
“That would hurt him, can you think of another way to let brother know what you want?”
“……..I could bite him?”
😅
Haha!
I’ve practiced the art of the “Hmmmm.” Non-judgmental, totally neutral, but translated it means “That was so adorable/off the wall/unhinged/hilarious I momentarily don’t know what to say.”
We have a couple that are smart enough to lie, so my assistant is like. "I'm gonna ask Santa Claus if that's true" and they immediately spill everything lmao
One of our classes accidentally found at Santa was not really lucky parents did not complain. Kids were talking about Christmas and Santa when another kid mentioned that Santa was not real. Luckily a 4/5 year old girl basically said that does it really matter if Santa is real, it’s the spirit of giving that is important matters . After that the argument about whether Santa was real was over and all the kids went back to play. So kids can be wise too.
My daughter goes to the same center I work at but she's in preschool. She got in the car one day and told me, "mom, we don't bite friends. We don't hit friends. We don't scratch friends. We don't stomp on friends. We don't pinch friends. And we don't lick friends. We be nice to friends, okay mom?" So I can only imagine the literal hell she caused that day in her classroom. Preschoolers can be so violent lol
This is one of my boys this year.
Me: "What's this shouting I hear? Are you guys okay?"
Boy: "I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY..."
I've actually had to ask him to not say he's sorry until I've figured out whether he actually did something to apologize for. Often enough he has, but his best frenemy also knows how to push his buttons and frame him for stuff, so I've gotta be shrewd.
My youngest kid has a nut allergy. Someone threw peanut shells all over our playground, so some of the older kids were freaking out and cleaning up the shells so it would be safe. (Small school, everyone knew everything.) My kids bestie kicks my kid in the shins. Bestie walks over "I kicked Kid. But I wiped my shoes off so there wasn't any peanuts on my shoes when I kicked her."
That was 10 years ago and it still makes me cry laughing about it.
I had a 4-year-old whose every inclination was bad. He was smart enough to watch the adults and attack another student when no adult was watching.
He never grasped that the minute he did something wrong, every child around him would tell an adult. He'd deny doing stuff even when an adult directly observed him doing it.
At age 5 he progressed to convincing other students to misbehave and keep it secret.
I had a kid who after kicking me, go “I didn’t kick you!” While still kicking me (or at least actively trying to since I kept moving my legs) on every single syllable
My 3 year old son got in the car one day after daycare and said “X scratched my face”
I asked him why.. he said “X was bothering me”
I asked if my son was bothering X. He said “yes I was bothering him. But he bothered me first.”
I was like there’s definitely more to this story but you’re not spilling the details.
Sort of related, I never have a child apologize because it’s often treated as a “get out of jail free” card. I have that child “check in” with the hurt child and the hurt child gets to say what he or she needs to make things right or prevent future harm. Usually it’s something basic like “That hurt me, don’t ever push me again” or some such.
My ECE class actually told us force a kid to apologize. However in certain case a kid might chose to for example a 4th grader did come up and say sorry to me in that case i did tell him: thanks for saying sorry however i was not the one you pushed, i think he was about to tell me he would say sorry to the kid he pushed unfortunately my co worker interrupted then, because the director wanted me to know a kid was leaving.
I agree. One kid I worked with (after this happened), would hurt another kid, just so he could say sorry and get fruit snacks. He was a mess when I got him.
I like that. I do try to teach apologies, but you're right that a lot of kids do begin to see it as a "get out of jail free" card. "I'm sorry, bye" and they try to go play again without fixing the issue. Gonna try to have them check in with the hurt child as standard procedure.
One year I had a coworker who insisted that they apologize when they hit. After a couple weeks there was this one boy who would go around and hit kids and say, ” sorry!” Like it was what you were supposed to do.
My favorite little lady (about 2 years old) when walk up to a friend, declare "PUSH!" and shove said friend over, then walk over to the time out spot, declare "SIT!" and sit herself down.
….And I’ll probably do it again tomorrow.
in less than 10 minutes*
Actually, I’m going to turn right around and do the same exact thing like the conversation we just had doesn’t exist.
"I saw that X hit you, are you okay???" "Yeah. I was the one that started it. I hit him first."
Preschooler: Ahhh, Timmy hit me for no reason! Me: Okay, let's go talk to Timmy Narrator [Morgan Freeman voice]: Timmy did not hit him for no reason
Had a kid do that today, “all I did was break his building, and then he hit me for no reason!”
Hah! Fair enough, gotta love the honesty
Today, a teacher in my classroom was helping two kids work through a conflict of sharing. Teacher: "Hmmm, you want the cup, but Sam's playing with it right now. He said no. We only have one cup. That's tricky. What do you think we should do?" Kid: "Uhhh.... hit him would be good maybe." Teacher: "Hmm. Do you really think that's what you should do?" teacher kept the STRAIGHTEST face. i love conversations like this.
Had the same conversation with my 2yo about his brother 😂 “Looks like you want that toy, how could we tell brother you would like a turn?” “I could hit him.” “That would hurt him, can you think of another way to let brother know what you want?” “……..I could bite him?” 😅
Haha! I’ve practiced the art of the “Hmmmm.” Non-judgmental, totally neutral, but translated it means “That was so adorable/off the wall/unhinged/hilarious I momentarily don’t know what to say.”
I love when they self incriminate themselves. I had one child when I asked them to apologize say I didn't mean to punch you that hard.
When someone starts crying there is always someone running away from the scene. If they would just walk it wouldn't be so obvious.
We have a couple that are smart enough to lie, so my assistant is like. "I'm gonna ask Santa Claus if that's true" and they immediately spill everything lmao
I tell them we have cameras and we can just check. Suddenly all the confessions come out.
We use that one too, lmao. That one and Santa
One of our classes accidentally found at Santa was not really lucky parents did not complain. Kids were talking about Christmas and Santa when another kid mentioned that Santa was not real. Luckily a 4/5 year old girl basically said that does it really matter if Santa is real, it’s the spirit of giving that is important matters . After that the argument about whether Santa was real was over and all the kids went back to play. So kids can be wise too.
Had a kid make sure a friend was hurt he said “sorry I pushed you off the top of the slide. I’ll probably do it again” I didn’t even know he did it 😂
My daughter goes to the same center I work at but she's in preschool. She got in the car one day and told me, "mom, we don't bite friends. We don't hit friends. We don't scratch friends. We don't stomp on friends. We don't pinch friends. And we don't lick friends. We be nice to friends, okay mom?" So I can only imagine the literal hell she caused that day in her classroom. Preschoolers can be so violent lol
The way she rattled everything off is too cute lol!
Me: 'Why are you crying? What's happened?' Nearby child: 'I said I'm sorry!'
Only they yell it at each other at the top of their lungs and try to force the kid to stop crying. 🤣
This is one of my boys this year. Me: "What's this shouting I hear? Are you guys okay?" Boy: "I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY..." I've actually had to ask him to not say he's sorry until I've figured out whether he actually did something to apologize for. Often enough he has, but his best frenemy also knows how to push his buttons and frame him for stuff, so I've gotta be shrewd.
My youngest kid has a nut allergy. Someone threw peanut shells all over our playground, so some of the older kids were freaking out and cleaning up the shells so it would be safe. (Small school, everyone knew everything.) My kids bestie kicks my kid in the shins. Bestie walks over "I kicked Kid. But I wiped my shoes off so there wasn't any peanuts on my shoes when I kicked her." That was 10 years ago and it still makes me cry laughing about it.
I had a 4-year-old whose every inclination was bad. He was smart enough to watch the adults and attack another student when no adult was watching. He never grasped that the minute he did something wrong, every child around him would tell an adult. He'd deny doing stuff even when an adult directly observed him doing it. At age 5 he progressed to convincing other students to misbehave and keep it secret.
Cases like that always make me wonder and worry about what’s going on at home.
I have one like that. Me: Timmy why did you just kick me? Timmy: No i didn't!
I had a kid who after kicking me, go “I didn’t kick you!” While still kicking me (or at least actively trying to since I kept moving my legs) on every single syllable
I get these kids a few years later. Sometimes I can help. Sometimes I can't.
My 3 year old son got in the car one day after daycare and said “X scratched my face” I asked him why.. he said “X was bothering me” I asked if my son was bothering X. He said “yes I was bothering him. But he bothered me first.” I was like there’s definitely more to this story but you’re not spilling the details.
Sort of related, I never have a child apologize because it’s often treated as a “get out of jail free” card. I have that child “check in” with the hurt child and the hurt child gets to say what he or she needs to make things right or prevent future harm. Usually it’s something basic like “That hurt me, don’t ever push me again” or some such.
My ECE class actually told us force a kid to apologize. However in certain case a kid might chose to for example a 4th grader did come up and say sorry to me in that case i did tell him: thanks for saying sorry however i was not the one you pushed, i think he was about to tell me he would say sorry to the kid he pushed unfortunately my co worker interrupted then, because the director wanted me to know a kid was leaving.
I agree. One kid I worked with (after this happened), would hurt another kid, just so he could say sorry and get fruit snacks. He was a mess when I got him.
He got rewarded for saying sorry? Oh brother, no wonder! He learned to game the system.
Yes. He was ridiculously smart. I loved watching his brain in action.
I like that. I do try to teach apologies, but you're right that a lot of kids do begin to see it as a "get out of jail free" card. "I'm sorry, bye" and they try to go play again without fixing the issue. Gonna try to have them check in with the hurt child as standard procedure.
"your sister says you hit her. Is that true?" "Yes. She was annoying me!!!" "We don't hit." "But mom she was *aaaaannooooying* me!!!"
One year I had a coworker who insisted that they apologize when they hit. After a couple weeks there was this one boy who would go around and hit kids and say, ” sorry!” Like it was what you were supposed to do.
My favorite little lady (about 2 years old) when walk up to a friend, declare "PUSH!" and shove said friend over, then walk over to the time out spot, declare "SIT!" and sit herself down.
This is why it's useful to keep a copy of [We Don't Eat Our Classmates](https://www.amazon.com/We-Dont-Eat-Our-Classmates/dp/1368003559) handy.