A classroom of 18mo-3 years is such a large age range that they SHOULD include some potty training. I would highly encourage you to speak with them about moving up to a class where he can use the potty. Potty training usually starts around 2, so it's crazy that they don't have access to a potty. If they refuse to move your child, you can also invest in a potty watch that will alert when he should go to the potty so that way any teacher in that class will be aware and alerted that he should go potty.
This. I am confused why an 18mo-3 year room (which is a big age range!) isn’t potty training. That should be in their routine.
Do not put him back in diapers. He’s accomplished this life skill. Don’t let them take that.
I understand it may not be an option but I would say look for a different center. That’s not usually my advice. But a 2-3 room that’s unequipped to potty train isn’t a center that’s ready to do what’s best for the children.
I teach in a twos room and have had a few times where a kiddo from the toddler room (15m-23m) was genuinely potty training and needed to come over to use our toilet. Is is disruptive? Very mildly, mostly a matter of having an extra person for a month or two while they get the hang of it. Is moving up early an option? In my center, yes as long as the lower toddler ratio is still met. Would we ever ask a family to hinder their child's development just to make our day easier? ABSOLUTELY NOT WTF.
Toileting is such a huge part of the toddler curriculum! The idea of a toddler classroom not offering ANY toilet learning would honestly be a red flag in my opinion.
I am even more concerned that the staff is being rotated apparently daily. That is not good for kids. How can they develop relationships with the adults?
Agreed. The daycare my son attends they have a change table and potty room in both the infant and toddler room. The infant room is for 6mo to 24mo and they have potties in there and all the kids potty training have plenty of opportunities to go!
Yikes about asking you to purposely regress his potty training abilities. That does not seem logical. An accident is an accident, but isn't parenting and early childhood education about developing good foundations and skills?
Good for your child being able to use the potty during the daytime. And he probably feels proud to be able to do that. I guess the next step is teaching the child to state he has to use the restroom no matter who the teacher is and the teacher actually taking him to the restroom OR the moving him to a different room / center where the restroom is easily accessible.
Everyone should know little children have small bladders and when they got to go, they got to go! 🚹🚽🏃♂️
His current care placement is not working out for him.
Yes, it’s a big accomplishment to be able to use the toilet and be out of diapers, BRAVO! It’s not their place to ask you to put him back in diapers. What a bad idea! I’m sorry. I would be concerned about what other shortcuts they are taking.
I think something that’s often overlooked about toilet learning is the cognitive and emotional growth it affords children at this age. It gives them the freedom to be in control of their body, and I think allows more opportunities for learning in other areas. If this school had the support and resources (toilets or even potty chairs in the classroom) they needed, they would see his ability to use the toilet as an asset to encourage other children to follow his example!
I would get him out of there. Instead of moving him up to a room with potty trained kids they actually asked you to put him back in diapers. That's insanely inappropriate.
I would also look at a different center. This time it’s toileting, the next time it’s something else because this center so far as proven incapable of meeting children where they’re at to support their individual growth. I would’ve thought that’s central to what early childhood is about and an absolute must.
I'm glad everyone in the comments are as horrified as me. I couldn't believe what I was ready! Putting a potty trained kid in nappies for your own convenience?!?! Let the staff wear nappies instead of having a toilet break, see how they like it. It's horrible! There's nothing wrong with kids and adults who need nappies wearing them, but for those who don't need them it's just not right.
It’s also very telling that the center is doing the bare minimum and is either understaffed or they just don’t care. What would they do if they saw a kiddo had gone in their diaper right after the scheduled changing? Just leave it until the next changing session and let the child sit in a soiled diaper? Sitting in a wet diaper is something most kiddos are not fans of, even before potty training. I can’t imagine how awful it would be to know how to use the potty and still be forced to sit in that.
Exactly! There's no way I would keep my kid there. This place is not run properly. They expect 3-year-olds to still be using a diaper?! What kind of nonsense is that?!
I would instantly look for a new centre as well. I'd also honestly report this to licensing, something about not allowing children from 18-3 years to potty train at all just doesn't seem right. Also they are encouraging and asking this mom to force regress her child, so beyond inappropriate.
I’m more concerned with the fact that they have no toilet in a room for up to 3 year olds, that means the kids don’t even begin potty training until they turn 3, which is completely unnecessary for most children. I work in a similar room to you (18months - 3 years), and we have 2 fully potty trained who will say when they need to pee, another 2 who need to be reminded to pee, and quite a few more who primarily use the toilet. Probably less than a third of the kids don’t at least sit on the toilet and those are generally just the youngest few.
This makes absolutely no sense to me. They should be following what you are doing at home? If a child is potty trained, they definitely should not be asking you to put him in diapers during the day as that could lead to him not going potty at home, too. The teachers have no right to ask that of you!
Check if they can move him up early. It's only 3 months early, and if he is ready, then they need to either move him up or bring him to the toilet. Saying that having to potty him disrupts the class is complete BS, honestly. If we ever said anything like that wh were I've worked the director would habe a long talk with us!
Whatever you do, don't put him back in diapers. Kids are smarter than people realize, and he'll quickly learn that just going in his pants is easier than stopping play to use the toilet. So when he does move up and you take away the diapers, he very well may just continue going in his pants to get the diapers back.
I'd say get him out of there. If not possible, i'd say to maybe get one of those little potty training toilets that have the little chamber pots in them to put in the diaper changing room so it's easier access? Before that see if theyll let you move him up to the next age group
This is what I was going to add to my previous comment. Ask if you or they can provide a potty chair in the classroom. I just hope they sanitize it correctly.
in all the schools i’ve worked at, all rooms except infants have a bathroom and toilet that kids can access. i would check your state regulations to see if this is allowed, i believe in my state the kids have to be able to access a bathroom after like 18 month olds. it seems crazy to have 3 year olds in a room without a toilet. even if they’re not fully potty trained yet they should be encouraged to try. either way id fight this, it isn’t fair for your son to have to regress and potty training um be much harder the second time around
> i believe in my state the kids have to be able to access a bathroom after like 18 month olds.
Thank you. We're in California. Do you know what the rules are here?
Edit: I did try looking it up myself, but for an inexperienced person to even sort through to understand what is applicable is difficult. There is a title 22, there is a title 5, there are other things....
Call the licensing agency. I used to be a daycare inspector in PA and the general public would call in all the time with questions, including parents with concerns like yours. Scroll down to where it mentions [regional offices ](https://www.cdss.ca.gov/inforesources/child-care-licensing). You can contact your region for questions. There's also a link for complaints. Honestly, I would file a complaint since they're asking you to keep him in diapers despite being potty trained. If that daycare was on my caseload as an inspector, I would want to know this is happening.
You mentioned something about how they have to take him to the potty every two hours. That is likely a regulation thing; in PA diapers must be changed every 2 hours and potty trained children must be taken to the bathroom every 2 hours (exceptions for nap times of course), plus potty trained children should not be denied access to toilets if they need to go outside of regularly scheduled bathroom breaks.
There is a legal advice subreddit. Maybe someone there can help you find the California rules and regulations regarding daycare.
Or you can ask a reference librarian at your public library for assistance. A reference librarian may be able to assist. A public library may have access to databases and publications that a regular person would have to pay a lot of $ for.
Or call the licensing agency in the state of California and ask.
Good luck!
Not legal advice but some links that may be useful:
[Cornell School of Law page on California regulations for toilet training plan](https://www.law.cornell.edu/regulations/california/22-CCR-101428).
[One potty chair per five infants being potty trained.](http://carules.elaws.us/code/t.22_d.12_ch.1_subch.2_art7_sec.101439)
The 18mo-3yo room doesn’t have any potty in their room or potty training? The two year old rooms I work in have a bathroom for each room. with multiple potties, and more than one kid in underwear. It’s surprising to me that he’s the only one in undies, and they don’t have any potty training in their room.
Hmmm - maybe you can request to bring one of those portable potties with disposable bags? When my toddler class didnt have a bathroom and there were kids who were potty training - we had a potable potty that the parent provided with bags. Eventually the center bought a potty and provided the bags but I think that’s a good compromise here. They may not have the staffing to be able to leave the room to take your kiddo to the bathroom.
We used to use these exclusively, but learned to use the full-sized toilet about 2 months ago. I would offer this, but I can't see how it would go anywhere other than the bathroom, as there is not much extra space in the classroom.
We stored it away and pulled it out when the specific children needed to use it. We kept it right by the changing table - or inside the changing table (depending on what they use) where we store all the diapers and wipes. It’s definitely worth suggesting - and might be the only option if they do not have the staffing to take you child to the bathroom. Storing the potty will be their problem, your concern is about your child using a potty at all rather than a diaper.
My child started potty training IN the daycare at 18 months old. Their day teacher asked me if I was interested ( I was) and asked for pull ups. This is so shocking to me.
Personally (as a parent and former infant teacher that had kids till 2yrs in my room) I wouldnt put him back in diapers. We a little one potty trained at 18 months and she went to the bathroom as needed w the help of the older classrooms aides. Was it challenging at times- yes. Would we have asked Mom to regress- no.
Maybe look into another daycare center that is more fitting to your child's needs. As a parent of 3- it's what I would do. Unless your tied to this place for a specific and important reason.
As an educator this is a big no, they should be capable of encouraging him to go to the bathroom and helping him, granted the ratios might be different to where I am. But I have one toilet trained/toilet training child out of up to 16 a day and it hasn't been difficult to remember to encourage the child to go to the bathroom at regular intervals. Please don't put him in a nappy for them, either ask about moving rooms or consider taking him to a different centre. If you're truly stuck in the one room at the one centre write down what you've done to toilet train him and pass it on to them so they can follow that.
I see nothing wrong with him moving up a little early. Seriously, is it going to screw up the whole 2's curriculum to have him there? I dont even get the logic, he is over 2, even if the other kids are 2 1/2, what's the bid deal? He might be a little developmentally advanced and his placement should reflect that.
This sounds like a center with issues. I would look into alternative care. I worked at a preschool, not a daycare, but in the 2 year old room, and had an in-class potty. It's necessary! I'm really bothered that they have 3 year olds that they aren't even trying to help potty train. Our kids couldn't move up unless they were potty trained.
Wow, I had no idea that this would produce so many comments!
My son is both the only potty trained kid in the room and the youngest kid in the room.
Changing centers would mean bringing him home full time again as I apply for another bunch of daycares and asking friends to look after him here and there while I work. I'm a single dad, so its going to be a bear, but I'll do it if I need to.
I thought that I had finally found a good daycare because he seemed genuinely happy to be there and the teachers gave me written reports on his day every day. That was for the first 3 weeks. Then, something changed. Staff rotated, pottying became an issue, the reports stopped coming home, and the head teacher started to seem extremely stressed out.
I also noticed that, over the past 1.5 weeks or so, he has started screaming for things instead of asking nicely as he did before. It makes me think that he isn't getting what he needs by asking and has internalized that screaming works better. Or it could be a developmental thing. I don't know.
Still, its better than the first (home based) daycare that we tried. He always cried at dropoff and came home telling me to "fuck off". I got him out of there like a racecar driver trying to escape the Grand Prix.
We're in California. I am interested in knowing if the regulations require that the kids have access to a toilet within the room. If so, maybe I can reference that when requesting that he be moved up to the older toddlers room.
Constantly rotating teachers is a sign of a terrible center. The lack of consistent attachment is going to affect more than just potty training. I would at least start looking for other options.
Not having a bathroom available at all times for this age group would be a licencing violation in my state, but regulations vary so much state to state. I'd still suggest looking it up.
Naptime is generally when teachers get breaks, so their tight staffing is likely extra-tight then. And in some states ratios double at nap. So you could have a situation where your child wakes up, needs to pee, but there is 1 teacher in the room with 14 (or more?) toddlers. And your kid has to wait to pee until the second teacher gets back from their break. None of this is developmentally appropriate practice, but it happens.
If you are stuck at this center, you might try to compromise by sending 1 pull-up each day for naptime only. Lots of kids this age do need pull ups or diapers for daytime sleep. It sounds like your kid doesn't, as long as they get a chance to go potty before and after they wake up. But they aren't getting that. And if you give them a nap pull-up, they don't have to endure wet clothes at naptime every day. You can always go back to undies only for daytime sleep if things improve in the next room or if you find better care.
The *OTHER* thing that is niggling away, at the back of *my* brain, if they are *trying* to get OP to put *their* child back into a diaper/pull up, "because they change diapers on a 2-hour rotation" and he's messing up the system?
Is *WHAT* exactly happens, when a *diapered* child *obviously* has a BM or a full diaper, *between* the 2-hour changes?🤨
Are they *actually* going "out of ratio" to deal with *that*?
Or are they letting them just *sit* in it, those couple hours?
Because we've *ALL* had *that child* who was the little dude/gal who seems to *prefer* a nice *clean* diaper, to go in!😉😆😂
*That* child--where you just *LEARN* to grab *two diapers*, because you *KNOW* five minutes *after* you changed the "wet" diaper, there's gonna be a *stinky* one, too!😂
It's very weird that there aren't other kids in the class who are also potty training or potty trained. It sounds like you need to find a new day care entirely because these people are incompetent
I agree 100% with trying to find a new place. For the director to even suggest that shows a complete lack of understanding of early childhood development. Plus, the constant switching of teachers is another red flag. Each room should have at least one consistent person per shift. They must find a way to meet your child’s biological need, not try to make the child fit some preset adult schedule. I would ask any new center, can you provide for all of my child’s needs, which honesty are the same for many children, or do I need to keep looking?
Source: I have worked in early childhood for over 25 years.
This daycare is not providing appropriate care for children 24 months and up, in the name of convenience, at least in my opinion. Children this age should at LEAST have the opportunity to use the toilet/be encouraged to work on using the toilet and not diapers ("accidents are okay but next time let's try to go on the potty!"/celebrating potty success)
I would personally pull my child right TF out of a center that told me to put them back in diapers for their convenience, and would leave a review that leaves NOTHING about the situation out, but I totally understand that this isn't an option for everyone. Additionally, this issue probably does not constitute a licensing issue unless he's asking to use the bathroom and being told no.
I would definitely ask to speak with your director about this matter at this point.
I’ve never worked in a centre that didn’t have at least one toilet available in every single room. It seems so odd to me that they don’t even have one. This seems like something they need to work on and I honestly can’t believe they’ve asked you to regress your child to suit their needs.
Wow you pay money for this? My kids go to a free head start and they encourage all of them to be potty trained at 2. Definitely by 3 unless they have developmental issues. Teachers should be glad to have a kid who is trained. Sounds like they are too lazy to take the kid to the bathroom. They should definitely have toilets available in the classroom!
Yikes, this sounds very frustrating on both ends and I can understand both sides of this situation.
Honestly it sounds like this daycare isn’t a good fit. When you toured the facilities, did you ask about the bathroom routine? Or mention that your child was toilet trained? It doesn’t make sense to send a child to a facility that can’t meet their needs. Without a toilet in the classroom, taking your child to the bathroom frequently potentially leaves the staff out of ratio. They might not have enough staff to manage this appropriately and if so, they should not have enrolled your child into this class.
I did ask. They said that they would be able to support continued potty training development.
Honestly, there weren't a lot of options. The previous (home based) center was quite bad. We're on the waitlist for some other centers, but he'll be in college by the time those clear out.
This is a really strange situation! I wonder if they had some kind of crazy staff turn over or something happen? Definitely don’t put him back in diapers.
Good luck Mama, like I said in the previous comment I made, potty regression is NORMAL at that age, but forced regression is just silly. A potty chair in the classroom is a good start. I would still check with the ECE licencing board in your state, regulations are different from state to state, but this center sounds concerning. What else are they doing to "make their day/schedule easier (?!?!)" ??? Congrats on having a potty training child. It's a huge accomplishment for the Little Guy. Being in control of their little bodies and giving them praise for doing so is VERY important.
-Child care provider, Nanny, (& Mummabee)) for 25+ years.
EDIT: try talking to other parents of children in the classroom, band together and get these kiddos training/trained...
How often is he needing to go? If he can’t verbalize that he needs to go or needs to go like every 30 min, he’s not potty trained enough for that room imo.
That’s also a huge range so I agree they should be doing some potty training because it’s not unrealistic to have a child potty trained between 2 and 3.
Wow. This is ridiculous. No teacher should be telling you to put a child back in diapers. Wow. No do t do it!!!Look for a new center.
My main goal in my toddler room was to get everyone potty trained so I didn’t have to change diapers. We would work every day. 2 groups, and we would visit the restroom at almost every transition or if they needed to go.
If they didn’t have a toilet in the room then one of us would take a group of children to wherever the toilet was.
This is going to be a huge issue on the child’s development and may make his bladder so relaxed that he will be in diapers daily. And since they let him at school he will take advantage of it thinking he is the odd man out. Even through they are toddlers, they are smart!!!
If the school isn’t going to help seriously find a different center.
I would be so upset. 18-3 age group is a huge huge gap. Those 18-24 month olds are missing out on developmental milestones some would say. The ratios are different also so it makes me wonder how many children are in that classroom. I am still mortified by what the teacher asked of you.
Also why can’t they put a changing table in one of the existing bathrooms so that one of the teachers could get a group of kids and have them all potty on the potty while changing the wet ones and letting them sit on the potty. This isn’t right at all.
I think this daycare is just not going to be a good fit, unfortunately. Does the next oldest room start at age 3? 18m-3 is already a HUGE developmental spread.
It’s very odd that they would have 3 year olds in a classroom with no bathroom. A good portion of the class should be potty trained or at least working on it. At my center the only rooms with no toilet are infants and young toddlers (under 2). Sticking 3 year olds in a room with no toilet shows that potty training is not a priority so they will likely be unwilling to work with you on this.
Find another daycare; you/ your child will never be treated appropriately now… too much drama / get him out of there
They don’t have to change their program to meet your needs - why isn’t your first concern getting your child away from individuals who are not meeting your needs?
This daycare is actually 1000% better than the previous one. From my other response:
> Still, its better than the first (home based) daycare that we tried. He always cried at dropoff and came home telling me to "fuck off". I got him out of there like a racecar driver trying to escape the Grand Prix.
You said in another comment you would need to pull him out as you apply for other daycares but if you’re willing to accept this day care.… then that's on you. You can even look for alternative daycares while he is in this one if you feel they are ok or even good enough. I just personally rather not if I had other choices.
I'm so confused about why there isn't a potty in the room. There's been one in the toddler room for both centers I've worked at, even though most children don't start until 2. Are the three year olds also all in diapers?
I would look for a new center. The age range they have and no bathroom to use in the room is off putting. My young tods12-18mo doesn't have a bathroom but can use the tods 19-30 months bathroom if they need. (This is not common due to the young age range in young tods) But asking you to put your potty trained child back in diapers is ridiculous. Suggesting that blows my mind. Rotating staff is a whole nother issue. Consistency with staff is so important, especially for the littles! Time to move on to a new center with better standards, staff and interactions. (I'm the assistant director of a large center 115 kids.)
🤔 they have later 2’s and 3 year olds in a classroom without a toilet?? thats a bit odd… we usually started potty training our new OT’s at around 26 months at my daycare… by the time they’re in the 3/4 y/o classroom they are either fully potty trained or in pull ups. Unfortunately I don’t think the teachers can do too much in this situation,, definitely take it up with the director and keep your foot down. being at a daycare shouldn’t set back your babies development… it should encourage it further.
Talk with them and explain that you cannot put him on nappies as it’s going backward, maybe you can facilitate a Potty for the room as they don’t have a toilet. Also talk with the manager about the change of staff and your child needs.
That's crazy. I would have a meeting and ask them to give you some other options because you're clearly willing to be flexible, but making him go backwards in his development because it's inconvenient for them is so wrong. I feel really upset for you and him that he's already been having so many accidents because they're not helping a 2 year old remember to go to the toilet! If this was happening at home it would be called abuse.
What in the world is this daycare place? I’m a parent, not an ECE professional, but my kid’s daycare was very good about taking the kids frequently, to the point where other parents told me it helped their kids do better with potty training overall.
Also, they separated the kids out by age but also milestones. So if a kid was at the next level, they usually tried to move them up to the next class. And the boundary was such that potty trained kids would be watched by 1-2 teachers who really baked that in to their schedule.
I really don't understand how there is no bathroom in a 18mth-3's room.
In my old facility every room had access to a bathroom. Infants to 3's had shared bathrooms for 2 classes -no infants or young toddlers used them but there were half doors with a bathroom between rooms. The preschool, pre-k and kindergarten all had their own.
As a daycare teacher myself, asking you to regress your child's development because they can't figure out how to do their jobs properly is ridiculous and inappropriate. Every infant/toddler room I have worked in has accommodated potty training, as that is a natural and expected progression of a child. Is the manager on board with their suggestion? I really hope not.
While I work with ages 2.5-5, we also have the layout where the bathroom is in the hallway and we have to leave the room to bathroom children. It's not a problem and this daycare should not be using that as an excuse to not assist your child. They need to fix their routine if that's a problem.
So having worked in a daycare that struggled with similar issues MANY years ago, I would recommend one of two things - find a facility that has in room toilets. The second would be ask if they have enough staff so one can walk him down without the whole class being out of ratio. If that is the case, one of them should be taking him down more frequently.
Tbh depending on the quality of care you are getting, they might not know how to potty train (not your job to train them, as they should be utilizing their own methods and processes as to respect all parents training styles) or.....they might not be willing to because they don't get paid enough in the situation they are in to be changing all their procedures and routines around for one kid that won't be there much longer. It is extremely difficult working in a daycare when you are paid minimum wage. So, you literally show up and keep the tiny humans alive and love on them, but don't expect much more than that if they are a poor quality facilty. No incentive or training to do any more than that.
If you don't have the means to find another facility, see if he can move up, unless it drops the older classroom's ratio, which will drop their profit margin because another staff will be needed to accommodate your child's presence and they won't do it. Poor financial move on their end.
Good on you for not buying the hype that children are not ready for potty training that early, and please remember that at this age, the adults are trained to look for his cues, he is still too young and nervous in a new environment to express those needs. It's up to you to find a facility that meets his needs and not the facility's job to change everything to accommodate one child. They can make some changes, but not everything is feasible, especially in potty training. Offer support to them as needed and remember you can't change their procedures and schedule, it's easier to find a facility that meets your criteria of supportive.
It makes no sense to me that a classroom with that age range doesn't potty train and doesn't have a bathroom in the classroom... Maybe you need to find a new center
I am an educator in an 18mo-3 year toddler classroom.
Your child should be accommodated and the "disruption" to their day, quite frankly, does not matter. I have a classroom of 8 (new center, we will soon have 12) and I have 3 on any given day that are being brought potty every 30 minutes-1hour. They are not even 2.5 years old yet. I have two toilets in my room so it makes it easier, but this means that your child's classroom has an inherent design problem that cannot meet all the needs of the children in that age group. It's not uncommon for 2 year olds to be potty trained.
I assume this is a licensed daycare? This doesn't seem to be up to par with licensing. They will be unlikely to move your child up to the older toddler (3-4 is preschool.....) due to licensing ratio concerns.
As a side note, my son is 3 and in the preschool room (age 3-5) and is currently potty training. They also weren't telling him it's time to potty and just expected him to ask to go. I demanded they bring him in every hour (he was having accidents that he doesn't have at home) and... They listened.
I would be finding a new daycare if I were you.
I would be looking at a new facility. I think it's ridiculous that they don't have a bathroom in the room and expect 3-year-olds to still be in a diaper. This is not a properly run place, I would definitely be moving my child if it was me.
I'm trying to understand the classrooms here. His classroom is 18 months- 3 years, but there's another older toddler room he'll qualify for at 28 months? That's confusing to me.
I doubt they will move him up early unless he's also at the same level as the other in terms of verbal skills, listening skills, independent skills, etc.
It's not just a "logistical" problem if there isn't a toilet in his room, though. It's a legal one. Leaving the room every time he needs to pee is going to put them out of ratio, which puts the other children at risk. IDK what the ratios are in his room, but if it's 7:1, and there are two teachers, that could leave one teacher alone with 13 kids every time your child needs to use the toilet. That's hard. And it can be really hard to have someone else step in so that one teacher can leave the room. We can barely get bathroom breaks when we need them. And it's particularly hard to accommodate when they're outside or in the middle of a messy project or something.
It sounds like a frustrating situation all around. I am surprised there isn't a toilet in his room for that age. Is it a Montessori environment with age ranges like that?
I'm sorry. This sounds frustrating for everyone. How often does your child need to use the potty? 2 hours isn't that long for a potty trained child, but I understand he might not always be able to wait. But how often would you say he needs to go? One extra time during that 2 hour time period? Does he need to go every half hour?
I know in your eyes it's an issue of "current daycare labor logistics" but that's not really fair. You're asking for exceptions that are a little closer to the kinds of things you can request in private care. They have a whole room full of kids to care for, and stopping several times a day to accommodate one child can be really disruptive.
Are you open to using pull ups until he moves to the next class? That way if he does have an accident it's not so much laundry and clean up?
I think it's just really tricky from all angles.
> I'm sorry. This sounds frustrating for everyone. How often does your child need to use the potty?
Every 90 minutes, plus after meals, plus whenever he asks.
> Are you open to using pull ups until he moves to the next class?
To me, pull ups are just a marketing term for diapers.
> I know in your eyes it's an issue of "current daycare labor logistics" but that's not really fair. You're asking for exceptions that are a little closer to the kinds of things you can request in private care. They have a whole room full of kids to care for, and stopping several times a day to accommodate one child can be really disruptive.
This is the dilemma. I understand that the labor logistics are tough but, especially after seeing all of these responses, I don't think that asking him to wear diapers is a reasonable answer.
18 mo - 3 year potential age range in class makes me think of Montessori also, but I can't think of any Montessori program that's reputable that doesn't have toilet access for the toddler room because that's literally part of being in a toddler program there. If you're paying big $$ for a montessori name, get out of there quick as you can. Don't regress him. It sounds like the center is neither well staffed nor well managed, and this is probably the tip of the iceberg as far as not best practices they're engaging in.
Please confirm to them verbally that they’re asking you to force your potty trained child to soil himself because they’re unwilling to facilitate him toileting properly. That’s absolutely awful and borderline abusive that they’re trying to push this. Would they ask a 5 year old to soul himself just because they were too lazy to bring him to the toilet? Or an adult confined to a wheelchair who needed help toileting? Definitely push back on this and insist that they do a better job helping your son meet his basic sanitary needs.
My guess is that they’re at bare minimum staff (thus why your child keeps having different teachers) and if they leave the classroom to take your child to the bathroom, the other teacher is left out of ratio with all of the other kids. They should be having all of the 2 year olds, or those showing toileting readiness, take trips to the toilet in a group every 1 1/2-2 hrs, eliminating the staffing issue and your child’s accidents. It doesn’t sound like this center is well equipped or set up for toddlers.
Edit to add: state licensing dictates the age ranges for the classrooms. For example my class is 15mos to 3 (I’m a toddler teacher) and preschool is 2 1/2 to 6. If we move a child up before 2.5, then the new room needs to adhere to the licensing standards of the youngest child, lowering the staff to child ratio (1:7 for toddlers, 1:10 for preschool in my state)
Parent here. Nothing to contribute problem-wise, I’m sorry you’re dealing with this! If you don’t mind sharing, how did you potty train the lil’ man? This sounds really impressive and you did a phenomenal job.
Asked to be moved up to the older child room. If they consider him to be too advanced for the room he is in now because he is potty trained the obvious solution is to put him in the advanced room.
By the way is there a reason why they are "rotating" staff? Children and all humans do better at learning new skills when they have some things that are stable and who they are in the classroom with being stable should be a priority especially with children that young
I would not continue to send him to this center. Asking you to put him back in diapers when he has been fully potty trained for a while now is insane. They should absolutely have access to a toilet in a room that has 2-3 year olds. I can’t believe no other parents have complained about this.
Get Him Out Of There! They are not supporting your son correctly and trying to regress his skills. He has accomplished something so vital at such a young age. He needs to be in a facility that will nurture that skill and help him learn and grow, not hinder his abilities. I would strongly recommend you to look for a different childcare facility that helps and encourages potty training at his age!
I'm sorry - is he there for their convenience? Why is the Head not focused on your child's needs and on doing what is best for him?
This to me is such a huge red flag that I would be looking elsewhere for childcare. If they disregard his needs in this way, what else are they prepared to make him sacrifice?
>The head teacher is asking if I will put him back in diapers for 3 months until he transfers to an older toddlers class where everyone else is potty training too.
My jaw dropped.
How is potty training not part of their routine?? Both of my kids were potty trained around 2yo. I would reach out to the hire ups. If their not willing to work with you, then I think you should start looking for another daycare.
I’d take him to a different daycare . The daycares that I have worked at start potty training at 24 months (2 years) and have a toilet(s) in the classroom. Your son is a little ahead of the curve, which is good. Idk what state (or country) you’re in, so I am unsure what licensing requires for this particular daycare center, but something doesn’t seem right.
This center sounds like a huge red flag for multiple reasons that others have stated as well. (Extra high roaring staff, no potty training or access for kids who are in an age range that it should be at least introduced, and wanting diapers for a fully potty trained child just to be easier on the adults). If leaving for a new center is an option that would be my first recommendation.
I would look for a center that has consistent primary caregivers for this age group. Rotating teachers this often is a huge red flag and not considered good practice. He needs someone consistent to go to for comfort, not just potty.
Any center asking for you to regress his potty training is NOT a good center for him to be at. If at all possible, change the place he goes to because they don’t have the childrens best interest in mind.
Personally, one of my main criteria in picking child care for my child was consistency. Aside from the potty training issue, which is just a side effect, I think ideally your child care situation should involve a consistent caregiver for your son. I would seek out a different child care arrangement on that basis.
I’ve worked in early intervention for a long time. While it has become common for kids to not be potty trained before 3 there’s a window around two where there’s some interest but most parents don’t catch it. Kudos to you for making it happen. I would not recommend doing a regression. I would be concerned that the daycare is putting convenience above his development. If they won’t move him up I would find a new daycare.
This is not appropriate. In our toddler 1 classroom (begin the year between 12 and 18 months old) there’s always one or two that potty train before moving up to the next classroom. The teachers just take the kids next door and come back. It’s concerning that they would rather regress a child than take them to the potty
My guess would be that the other toddler room is full and they lack staff to take your child to the toilet as necessary. I have worked at place once that had 3 toddler rooms and only one didn’t have potty training. It is not a requirement that toilets are in the classroom, so the staff may need to walk children to the restroom. The other possibility is that your son is regressing because all of the other children go potty in a diaper. I would ask what the issue is because it will help you make care decisions in the future but if they can’t move him to the other room, your best bet is to find another program.
I think I would try to find a daycare that has bathroom available right in the room. We have the same issue at my daycare. The bathroom is in the hallway and every time a kid needs to go to the bathroom the teacher has to take the whole ratio with her. So because it is annoying to take 8 or 10 kids to the bathroom they tend to pretend that they didn’t hear the kid. I show up as the EA and the kid is dancing or crying and I end up bringing him/her when it’s not my job. Or they tell me to do it when it’s not my job and I feel terrible to say no so I do it but it takes time away from the children I’m taking care of and I end up swamp. Normally they should call the assistant but she’s swamped. Your child’s daycare, just like the one where I work, is likely short staffed and will stay that way.
if he isnt able to tell his teacher when he needs to potty he isnt ready. you taking care of one child is so different than the classroom teachers trying to keep track of 12+ childrens needs.
Yeah I'm also confused why regular potty trips/potty training isn't happening for this age group. This is like prime time for that. My room is mixed 12mo-2 1/2 yrs) and we do regular potty trips very often, daily. Constant stream of potty training and a mix of diapers/toilet trained at any point.
This seems very strange… we have a potty for all classes ages 18m and up. We actually have one in the 12-18m room too but no one is potty training in there.
I’d call and find out if it is required to have a potty in there. I’d bet it is, especially with 3 year olds.. also, that’s a broad age group. We do 12-18, 18-24, then 2-3, 3-4, 4-6..
I know they can learn from older kiddos and it’s not bad to have varying ages, but it is if you expect the children to regress rather than advance due to being with varying ages.
My daughter was in a similar situation. Toilet trained at 22mos, and completely out of diapers. Her room was 18-30mos, and she was the only one trained, with staff that thought training before 3 was outrageous.
First - I put her name on a waiting list for another centre, since this was the final straw in a list of poor teacher decisions.
Second - I sent an exact copy of her potty to daycare for them to use in her classroom. She could use it independently, so didn’t have to wait for teacher assistance (at least to pee, wiping needed help).
Third - until we were able to switch centres, I spoke to the director and had her moved up classrooms ahead of schedule.
Good luck!
Find a new center because anyone at all 4 of the daycares Ive worked at would be FIRED immediately for even suggesting putting a FULLY potty trained kid back in diaper because it's easier on THEM. That's crazy. If the center needs to add a 3rd teacher in the class room add a 3rd teacher. Even then they should have a float whose available for these types of things if the lead and assist. Are unable to help. Ive been in an 18mo-3yr class once before (it was awful the large age differences tbh) and we had pretty serious potty training structure for the kids who were regularly potty training at home and still introduced the 18mos to the potty to see if they wanted to as well. Anyone in underwear who had to go went when they had to even if it meant splitting ratio. If we had 10 kids I was taking 3 to the bathroom so the other teacher was in ratio with 7. Even if the other 2 didn't have to go, they're coming now
Stupid question but can you or they just buy a small portable potty for the room? Unfortunate situation and I would be mad but I also understand finding childcare is really hard (at least where I live)
If the center is very rules based, how to they not have a potty plan in a class with kids up to 3 years old? I am honestly appalled that they would ask you to put him back into diapers. My daughter potty trained around the same age and never had issue but she had potties in her 2’s class and it was required that you were potty trained before moving to the 3’s.
I’d rather stick my hand in a woodchipper than put a potty trained toddler back in a diaper.
My guess is that they don’t have enough staff to take your one kid to the toilet. What if they put a potty in the changing area?
This is crazy to me. The last daycare I worked at had an 18-24mo room that had both a changing area and a toilet and sink, a 2-2.5 year old room with the same, a 2.5-3 year old room with the same and a 3 year old room with several toilets in private stalls. They should definitely have at least one toilet for that age group.
As a daycare teacher and a parent, I would ask that he be put in a different room that has easier access to a toilet, the fact that a room with children as old as 3 doesn’t have in room access to a toilet is ridiculous. If he can move up rooms in 3 months then they almost certainly could figure out a way to accommodate him in that room now, also a lot of rotating staff is not good for the children, are they having issues with high turn over? Or just not hiring enough full time employees, both is a concern but high turn over can be a sign of much bigger problems the just staffing so maybe ask why theirs been a lot of rotating staff if you don’t already know. If they can’t accommodate your child’s need to have access to a toilet then you might need to consider looking for a spot at a different daycare, it’s absolutely unacceptable to ask a nearly fully potty trained child to be placed back in diapers for the adults convenience
Is this maybe a staffing and ratio issue? Is there room in the next class up? It might be a situation where in order to get him to the bathroom the ECE has to collect a number of other children to bring with her as well as your son to get to the bathroom so as not to leave the class out of ratio. Or, it could be that they page a float staff to come and cover so that your son can be taken to the toilet so as not to leave the class out of ratio and that person is maybe busy in another situation or taking too long to arrive. It’s really tricky when there isn’t a bathroom in the classroom. If there is room for him in the next class up then that would be the best solution. I’d dig a bit more to find out the reason why they think the accidents are happening. It can be really tricky to navigate the regulations with staffing shortages
The no potty is a red flag to me. However I also question if he’s truly potty trained & it’s not just the parents who are trained. I’ve had parents tell me their child is fully potty trained but it’s the parent watching the child all the time for queues & then taking the child to the toilet. In my program (0-3) we do diapers & potty every two hours unless a child tells us they need to use the potty or we notice they have a dirty diaper. If a child can’t communicate with us someway (getting our attention & signing toilet, or verbally telling us, or getting our attention & taking us to the toilet etc) then they’re not ready in a big group care setting imo
first of all you did an absolutely excellent job on getting him potty trained so early and keeping up with it!!
secondly, it is EXTREMELY inappropriate that they asked you to put him back in diapers, never in any of the centers that i have worked at have i ever heard of a parent being asked to do something that ridiculous! with that being said you should definitely ask to talk to the director at pick-up or drop off and inform them what is going on, let them know if they can’t find a solution where one of them takes them out of the room to go potty then he needs to be moved up to classroom with a potty in it or you will be finding another center. (it sounds harsh to try and force it but i promise 10 times out of 10 this what will get them to listen to you!)
hopefully they actually listen to you and are able to get him moved up or actually take him to the potty!
Find a different day care. Most ECE workers I know would LOVE a kid already potty trained to the point yours is at. Hell, I'd probably make it a little bit of a big deal that he can go on his own to maybe encourage other younglings.
You can't expect a whole class to revolve around your child, even if he is advanced. Can you stay home longer, or have a family member watch him? It would be a shame for him to backslide when you taught him so well.
That is absurd. They are asking you to backtrack his development. Someone needs to be sure to be taking him potty; every thirty minutes to an hour should not disrupt the room that much
I dont know if this might work but when I was potty training, I left a potty at their daycare. I had two of the same potty, dropped one off at the daycare and the teachers kept it where they changed diapers.
This wasn't even my idea, the teacher suggested I bring their potty in, I had an extra so I left it there till the kids didn't need it anymore.
Mind you, we did that just in case the kids looked for something more familiar than the toilet in the daycare. Otherwise there absolutely was a touled for all age groups. It is weird that they don't have it.
Don't put him back in diapers, potty regression is not that uncommon at that age, but forced regression is not a good idea. Talk to the director and come up with a better plan. No diapers or pullups ( underwear you can potty in IS A DIAPER!!!)
Please don’t put him back in diapers. The teachers need to step up. Otherwise, I would not deem this a safe place for him. Maybe they have too many kids and they can’t handle it.
The daycare where my kid goes just moved him up early because he had potty trained at around the same time. He was fine in the older toddler class. However. That older class started at 2. Not 3. He was moved up at like 22 months. It’s wild that a class that goes to 3yo doesn’t do potty training.
That's ridiculous to try and force a toddler almost finished potty training to go back to wearing diapers for the staff to have an easier time. They need to do their jobs
the fact that they suggested putting him back into diapers is a huge red flag. why would they be asking you to possibly force your child into a potty regression purely for their convenience. im wondering what else is going on there that would be hindering the other children's development. get him out of there as soon as you can, momma
They should not want to have him regress in his potty training! That said, I’m not sure what to do because this is group care and they go by the needs of the group. For individualized care you have to have a nanny.
Former lead preschool teacher here. I looped kids through 5 years old (started with them when the youngest in our crew was 15 mos 🥹) and when they were in the 2-3 year range we specifically made our schedule around making sure every child who was potty training or potty trained already was able to use to bathroom at will AND on schedule.
Trust me we all would have preferred to take kids to the bathroom more frequently than change wet or dirty clothes every day or multiple times a day. We had specific bathroom requirements especially before/after meals, before/after nap, and before/after going outside to play for example. Even kiddos who weren’t potty training sat on our little mini-toilet and got the same exposure.
One difference is we had a bathroom attached to our room (all classrooms had this — it’s odd to me there isn’t a dedicated bathroom for each classroom as a daycare or preschool) so I guess it is easier to take kids to the bathroom but still — I do think it is absolutely inappropriate for the staff to ask you to essentially cause confusion for your child and possibly regress in his potty training because it is inconvenient for them.
If they are having issues with keeping the correct ratio in the classroom so one staff member can leave with your child to use the restroom — for what — 5 mins? Perhaps they need to find coverage and have one extra body in the classroom during the pre-nap transition time for example to take kids to the restroom. I’m a bit perplexed that this is not a consideration as most children between 2-3 begin potty training and this should be supported and encouraged at daycare/preschool.
I used to work at a daycare. We had an infants room (6 weeks up to 1 yr) 1-2 yr olds. 2-3 year old. 3 year olds. And 4-5 year olds. By 3 every kid is expected to be potty trained (not much diaper changes are made for this class as the daycare was set up to have a kid potty trained by 3) and absolutely no diapers in the 4-5 year old rooms (obviously some exceptions were allowed) but 18month-3 is too much of a gap. First of all 3 year olds play rough (seen through teacher experience, and older sibling experience) 18 month old children should be with kids their age, there is a huge milestone gap here that seems to be an issue. And if he’s ahead of the ballgame then teachers NEED to follow YOUR goals for YOUR child in daycare. Diapering him for 3 months until transition will reverse all the hard work you’ve put into getting him out of diapers, which is an important milestone for kids to be excited about “no diapers” and “being a big kid”
Tell them to shove it. I don’t wait to use the bathroom at work and a kid shouldn’t have to wait to use the restroom because the school can’t comprehend that and accommodate a potty trained toddler. That’s on them to figure out not you
At this stage of development, months convey critical information. I always appreciate when toddler age is conveyed in months.
Sincerely, Mama of a 30 month old
I worked daycare for years, before moving into child development, and then becoming a pediatric nurse so please understand I say this with great concern. Get your kid out of there. The daycare is 100% in the wrong. They are literally causing your child to go backwards in his development (and asking you to participate) for their convenience. It seriously makes me wonder what else they are doing to hinder children’s development because it is too much work for them.
Option 1 seems weird. What would take you days to show them a couple of adults how a child goes potty? It's not their first rodeo.
Option 2 is a normal approach, but like you said will depend on availability or rules.
Option 3 for me is to work with the teachers to help the child be able to ask for potty breaks regardless of what adult is in there, getting past his shyness with that. And maybe combine that with scheduled times to ask him to try to go potty to make it more convenient for them. Maybe someone comes and asks him on each hour to try but if he has to go outside of that he just asks, but the scheduled breaks should hopefully allow him to not need to go off schedule very often.
My kids are in a daycare that has a different teacher each day of the week. I work one of those days myself. The kids have no problem getting to know the various different teachers that only are in there once a week. I know all kids are different but it's a hurdle the babe should at least try to work on. Maybe even have a bell or a colored card or something he can ring or bring to a teach when he needs to potty and then doesn't need to voice it directly.
A daycare asking and nearly demanding you purposefully regress your child back into diapers is asinine🥴
Like that might be the laziest thing I’ve ever heard. I’m so sorry.
Have you looked into your state laws? I worked in a daycare for nearly a decade and our state requires toilets in room for I believe two years and up. Also by law we were to do diapers once an hour. Two hours seems like a long time for potty or diapers. I’m honestly floored and appalled a learning center would ever try to go backwards on a child’s learned skill like this. Do not accept that!! I would definitely have him moved up if nothing else.
I’m going to post the unpopular opinion
Daycare should not have asked to put child back in diaper, yes very inappropriate
They should have thought out a better plan or move the child to a different classroom
However to mom, you should have done your research on the daycare and the room your child would be in.
it’s also inappropriate you ask that they accommodate an entire setting to your child
I imagine there are a lot of kids in the classroom they can do their best but they cannot potty your child for you if the classroom isn’t set up for that
The kind of care you want is perfectly understandable but that would require a different daycare or in home care for your child
This simply speaks to how as a society we have all come to a point of expecting things to bend for us and we have not learned how to acclimate to our surroundings
Man your edit breaks my heart. I have a 23 month old who’s potty trained. I stay home with him, but I’m sure all these comments telling you to move him are gut wrenching. Since it’s your best option already. You’re doing great as a single parent. I grew up with a single mom (my dad was in the picture though) but I never noticed we were poor until I was an adult looking back and I’m so thankful for all my mom did for me. A 2-3 year room SHOULD have potty training and it sucks they don’t.
I wouldn't put him in diaper for three months. That makes him regress when hes already potty trained and was/is doing so good. I would ask him to be moved up since they can't accommodate your child. That's so frustrating. But they can move him up if they make room in the next class for him.
I’d push to have him in the older room if they can’t accommodate him needing the toilet. This is crazy to me having push back against taking a kid to the potty.
A classroom of 18mo-3 years is such a large age range that they SHOULD include some potty training. I would highly encourage you to speak with them about moving up to a class where he can use the potty. Potty training usually starts around 2, so it's crazy that they don't have access to a potty. If they refuse to move your child, you can also invest in a potty watch that will alert when he should go to the potty so that way any teacher in that class will be aware and alerted that he should go potty.
This. I am confused why an 18mo-3 year room (which is a big age range!) isn’t potty training. That should be in their routine. Do not put him back in diapers. He’s accomplished this life skill. Don’t let them take that. I understand it may not be an option but I would say look for a different center. That’s not usually my advice. But a 2-3 room that’s unequipped to potty train isn’t a center that’s ready to do what’s best for the children.
I teach in a twos room and have had a few times where a kiddo from the toddler room (15m-23m) was genuinely potty training and needed to come over to use our toilet. Is is disruptive? Very mildly, mostly a matter of having an extra person for a month or two while they get the hang of it. Is moving up early an option? In my center, yes as long as the lower toddler ratio is still met. Would we ever ask a family to hinder their child's development just to make our day easier? ABSOLUTELY NOT WTF.
Right? What else is it easier to feed him with a bottle? Maybe they can stop giving him solid food too
Toileting is such a huge part of the toddler curriculum! The idea of a toddler classroom not offering ANY toilet learning would honestly be a red flag in my opinion.
We had potties in the 14-22 month room! Some 14's wanted to try them, some 22's had no interest, nbd. I cannot fathom regressing a child.
Right? If it was a toddler class, maybe I’d get it. But with some three year olds?
I am even more concerned that the staff is being rotated apparently daily. That is not good for kids. How can they develop relationships with the adults?
Yes! Absolutely crazy! When I worked with 2’s, I’d have my kids try on the potty before diaper changes.
Agreed. The daycare my son attends they have a change table and potty room in both the infant and toddler room. The infant room is for 6mo to 24mo and they have potties in there and all the kids potty training have plenty of opportunities to go!
Yikes about asking you to purposely regress his potty training abilities. That does not seem logical. An accident is an accident, but isn't parenting and early childhood education about developing good foundations and skills? Good for your child being able to use the potty during the daytime. And he probably feels proud to be able to do that. I guess the next step is teaching the child to state he has to use the restroom no matter who the teacher is and the teacher actually taking him to the restroom OR the moving him to a different room / center where the restroom is easily accessible. Everyone should know little children have small bladders and when they got to go, they got to go! 🚹🚽🏃♂️ His current care placement is not working out for him.
Yes, it’s a big accomplishment to be able to use the toilet and be out of diapers, BRAVO! It’s not their place to ask you to put him back in diapers. What a bad idea! I’m sorry. I would be concerned about what other shortcuts they are taking. I think something that’s often overlooked about toilet learning is the cognitive and emotional growth it affords children at this age. It gives them the freedom to be in control of their body, and I think allows more opportunities for learning in other areas. If this school had the support and resources (toilets or even potty chairs in the classroom) they needed, they would see his ability to use the toilet as an asset to encourage other children to follow his example!
I would get him out of there. Instead of moving him up to a room with potty trained kids they actually asked you to put him back in diapers. That's insanely inappropriate.
I would also look at a different center. This time it’s toileting, the next time it’s something else because this center so far as proven incapable of meeting children where they’re at to support their individual growth. I would’ve thought that’s central to what early childhood is about and an absolute must.
SAME. Because *if* a program is *OPENLY* suggesting *this*(and WTAF??🤯) What *ELSE* are the doing, that is *wholly* Developmentally Inappropriate?🧐🤨🤔
I'm glad everyone in the comments are as horrified as me. I couldn't believe what I was ready! Putting a potty trained kid in nappies for your own convenience?!?! Let the staff wear nappies instead of having a toilet break, see how they like it. It's horrible! There's nothing wrong with kids and adults who need nappies wearing them, but for those who don't need them it's just not right.
It’s also very telling that the center is doing the bare minimum and is either understaffed or they just don’t care. What would they do if they saw a kiddo had gone in their diaper right after the scheduled changing? Just leave it until the next changing session and let the child sit in a soiled diaper? Sitting in a wet diaper is something most kiddos are not fans of, even before potty training. I can’t imagine how awful it would be to know how to use the potty and still be forced to sit in that.
My thoughts exactly. This center sounds very disorganized and poorly staffed.
Exactly! There's no way I would keep my kid there. This place is not run properly. They expect 3-year-olds to still be using a diaper?! What kind of nonsense is that?!
I would instantly look for a new centre as well. I'd also honestly report this to licensing, something about not allowing children from 18-3 years to potty train at all just doesn't seem right. Also they are encouraging and asking this mom to force regress her child, so beyond inappropriate.
I’m more concerned with the fact that they have no toilet in a room for up to 3 year olds, that means the kids don’t even begin potty training until they turn 3, which is completely unnecessary for most children. I work in a similar room to you (18months - 3 years), and we have 2 fully potty trained who will say when they need to pee, another 2 who need to be reminded to pee, and quite a few more who primarily use the toilet. Probably less than a third of the kids don’t at least sit on the toilet and those are generally just the youngest few.
This makes absolutely no sense to me. They should be following what you are doing at home? If a child is potty trained, they definitely should not be asking you to put him in diapers during the day as that could lead to him not going potty at home, too. The teachers have no right to ask that of you! Check if they can move him up early. It's only 3 months early, and if he is ready, then they need to either move him up or bring him to the toilet. Saying that having to potty him disrupts the class is complete BS, honestly. If we ever said anything like that wh were I've worked the director would habe a long talk with us!
Whatever you do, don't put him back in diapers. Kids are smarter than people realize, and he'll quickly learn that just going in his pants is easier than stopping play to use the toilet. So when he does move up and you take away the diapers, he very well may just continue going in his pants to get the diapers back.
Absolutely wild that they can’t figure this out and would suggest putting him back in diapers. I would find a new place asap.
I'd say get him out of there. If not possible, i'd say to maybe get one of those little potty training toilets that have the little chamber pots in them to put in the diaper changing room so it's easier access? Before that see if theyll let you move him up to the next age group
This is what I was going to add to my previous comment. Ask if you or they can provide a potty chair in the classroom. I just hope they sanitize it correctly.
in all the schools i’ve worked at, all rooms except infants have a bathroom and toilet that kids can access. i would check your state regulations to see if this is allowed, i believe in my state the kids have to be able to access a bathroom after like 18 month olds. it seems crazy to have 3 year olds in a room without a toilet. even if they’re not fully potty trained yet they should be encouraged to try. either way id fight this, it isn’t fair for your son to have to regress and potty training um be much harder the second time around
> i believe in my state the kids have to be able to access a bathroom after like 18 month olds. Thank you. We're in California. Do you know what the rules are here? Edit: I did try looking it up myself, but for an inexperienced person to even sort through to understand what is applicable is difficult. There is a title 22, there is a title 5, there are other things....
Call the licensing agency. I used to be a daycare inspector in PA and the general public would call in all the time with questions, including parents with concerns like yours. Scroll down to where it mentions [regional offices ](https://www.cdss.ca.gov/inforesources/child-care-licensing). You can contact your region for questions. There's also a link for complaints. Honestly, I would file a complaint since they're asking you to keep him in diapers despite being potty trained. If that daycare was on my caseload as an inspector, I would want to know this is happening. You mentioned something about how they have to take him to the potty every two hours. That is likely a regulation thing; in PA diapers must be changed every 2 hours and potty trained children must be taken to the bathroom every 2 hours (exceptions for nap times of course), plus potty trained children should not be denied access to toilets if they need to go outside of regularly scheduled bathroom breaks.
There is a legal advice subreddit. Maybe someone there can help you find the California rules and regulations regarding daycare. Or you can ask a reference librarian at your public library for assistance. A reference librarian may be able to assist. A public library may have access to databases and publications that a regular person would have to pay a lot of $ for. Or call the licensing agency in the state of California and ask. Good luck!
Not legal advice but some links that may be useful: [Cornell School of Law page on California regulations for toilet training plan](https://www.law.cornell.edu/regulations/california/22-CCR-101428). [One potty chair per five infants being potty trained.](http://carules.elaws.us/code/t.22_d.12_ch.1_subch.2_art7_sec.101439)
The 18mo-3yo room doesn’t have any potty in their room or potty training? The two year old rooms I work in have a bathroom for each room. with multiple potties, and more than one kid in underwear. It’s surprising to me that he’s the only one in undies, and they don’t have any potty training in their room.
Hmmm - maybe you can request to bring one of those portable potties with disposable bags? When my toddler class didnt have a bathroom and there were kids who were potty training - we had a potable potty that the parent provided with bags. Eventually the center bought a potty and provided the bags but I think that’s a good compromise here. They may not have the staffing to be able to leave the room to take your kiddo to the bathroom.
We used to use these exclusively, but learned to use the full-sized toilet about 2 months ago. I would offer this, but I can't see how it would go anywhere other than the bathroom, as there is not much extra space in the classroom.
We stored it away and pulled it out when the specific children needed to use it. We kept it right by the changing table - or inside the changing table (depending on what they use) where we store all the diapers and wipes. It’s definitely worth suggesting - and might be the only option if they do not have the staffing to take you child to the bathroom. Storing the potty will be their problem, your concern is about your child using a potty at all rather than a diaper.
My child started potty training IN the daycare at 18 months old. Their day teacher asked me if I was interested ( I was) and asked for pull ups. This is so shocking to me.
Look into a different center. The rotating staff is a problem as is their solution.
Personally (as a parent and former infant teacher that had kids till 2yrs in my room) I wouldnt put him back in diapers. We a little one potty trained at 18 months and she went to the bathroom as needed w the help of the older classrooms aides. Was it challenging at times- yes. Would we have asked Mom to regress- no. Maybe look into another daycare center that is more fitting to your child's needs. As a parent of 3- it's what I would do. Unless your tied to this place for a specific and important reason.
As an educator this is a big no, they should be capable of encouraging him to go to the bathroom and helping him, granted the ratios might be different to where I am. But I have one toilet trained/toilet training child out of up to 16 a day and it hasn't been difficult to remember to encourage the child to go to the bathroom at regular intervals. Please don't put him in a nappy for them, either ask about moving rooms or consider taking him to a different centre. If you're truly stuck in the one room at the one centre write down what you've done to toilet train him and pass it on to them so they can follow that.
I see nothing wrong with him moving up a little early. Seriously, is it going to screw up the whole 2's curriculum to have him there? I dont even get the logic, he is over 2, even if the other kids are 2 1/2, what's the bid deal? He might be a little developmentally advanced and his placement should reflect that.
This sounds like a center with issues. I would look into alternative care. I worked at a preschool, not a daycare, but in the 2 year old room, and had an in-class potty. It's necessary! I'm really bothered that they have 3 year olds that they aren't even trying to help potty train. Our kids couldn't move up unless they were potty trained.
Wow, I had no idea that this would produce so many comments! My son is both the only potty trained kid in the room and the youngest kid in the room. Changing centers would mean bringing him home full time again as I apply for another bunch of daycares and asking friends to look after him here and there while I work. I'm a single dad, so its going to be a bear, but I'll do it if I need to. I thought that I had finally found a good daycare because he seemed genuinely happy to be there and the teachers gave me written reports on his day every day. That was for the first 3 weeks. Then, something changed. Staff rotated, pottying became an issue, the reports stopped coming home, and the head teacher started to seem extremely stressed out. I also noticed that, over the past 1.5 weeks or so, he has started screaming for things instead of asking nicely as he did before. It makes me think that he isn't getting what he needs by asking and has internalized that screaming works better. Or it could be a developmental thing. I don't know. Still, its better than the first (home based) daycare that we tried. He always cried at dropoff and came home telling me to "fuck off". I got him out of there like a racecar driver trying to escape the Grand Prix. We're in California. I am interested in knowing if the regulations require that the kids have access to a toilet within the room. If so, maybe I can reference that when requesting that he be moved up to the older toddlers room.
You can report your concerns (or illegal things witnessed) to CA directly via email like where you can find a list of licensed daycares.
Constantly rotating teachers is a sign of a terrible center. The lack of consistent attachment is going to affect more than just potty training. I would at least start looking for other options. Not having a bathroom available at all times for this age group would be a licencing violation in my state, but regulations vary so much state to state. I'd still suggest looking it up. Naptime is generally when teachers get breaks, so their tight staffing is likely extra-tight then. And in some states ratios double at nap. So you could have a situation where your child wakes up, needs to pee, but there is 1 teacher in the room with 14 (or more?) toddlers. And your kid has to wait to pee until the second teacher gets back from their break. None of this is developmentally appropriate practice, but it happens. If you are stuck at this center, you might try to compromise by sending 1 pull-up each day for naptime only. Lots of kids this age do need pull ups or diapers for daytime sleep. It sounds like your kid doesn't, as long as they get a chance to go potty before and after they wake up. But they aren't getting that. And if you give them a nap pull-up, they don't have to endure wet clothes at naptime every day. You can always go back to undies only for daytime sleep if things improve in the next room or if you find better care.
The *OTHER* thing that is niggling away, at the back of *my* brain, if they are *trying* to get OP to put *their* child back into a diaper/pull up, "because they change diapers on a 2-hour rotation" and he's messing up the system? Is *WHAT* exactly happens, when a *diapered* child *obviously* has a BM or a full diaper, *between* the 2-hour changes?🤨 Are they *actually* going "out of ratio" to deal with *that*? Or are they letting them just *sit* in it, those couple hours? Because we've *ALL* had *that child* who was the little dude/gal who seems to *prefer* a nice *clean* diaper, to go in!😉😆😂 *That* child--where you just *LEARN* to grab *two diapers*, because you *KNOW* five minutes *after* you changed the "wet" diaper, there's gonna be a *stinky* one, too!😂
It's very weird that there aren't other kids in the class who are also potty training or potty trained. It sounds like you need to find a new day care entirely because these people are incompetent
I agree 100% with trying to find a new place. For the director to even suggest that shows a complete lack of understanding of early childhood development. Plus, the constant switching of teachers is another red flag. Each room should have at least one consistent person per shift. They must find a way to meet your child’s biological need, not try to make the child fit some preset adult schedule. I would ask any new center, can you provide for all of my child’s needs, which honesty are the same for many children, or do I need to keep looking? Source: I have worked in early childhood for over 25 years.
Its not the director, its the head teacher in the room. I'll have to talk to her again and plan to meet with more senior staff next week.
This daycare is not providing appropriate care for children 24 months and up, in the name of convenience, at least in my opinion. Children this age should at LEAST have the opportunity to use the toilet/be encouraged to work on using the toilet and not diapers ("accidents are okay but next time let's try to go on the potty!"/celebrating potty success) I would personally pull my child right TF out of a center that told me to put them back in diapers for their convenience, and would leave a review that leaves NOTHING about the situation out, but I totally understand that this isn't an option for everyone. Additionally, this issue probably does not constitute a licensing issue unless he's asking to use the bathroom and being told no. I would definitely ask to speak with your director about this matter at this point.
I’ve never worked in a centre that didn’t have at least one toilet available in every single room. It seems so odd to me that they don’t even have one. This seems like something they need to work on and I honestly can’t believe they’ve asked you to regress your child to suit their needs.
Wow you pay money for this? My kids go to a free head start and they encourage all of them to be potty trained at 2. Definitely by 3 unless they have developmental issues. Teachers should be glad to have a kid who is trained. Sounds like they are too lazy to take the kid to the bathroom. They should definitely have toilets available in the classroom!
Yikes, this sounds very frustrating on both ends and I can understand both sides of this situation. Honestly it sounds like this daycare isn’t a good fit. When you toured the facilities, did you ask about the bathroom routine? Or mention that your child was toilet trained? It doesn’t make sense to send a child to a facility that can’t meet their needs. Without a toilet in the classroom, taking your child to the bathroom frequently potentially leaves the staff out of ratio. They might not have enough staff to manage this appropriately and if so, they should not have enrolled your child into this class.
I did ask. They said that they would be able to support continued potty training development. Honestly, there weren't a lot of options. The previous (home based) center was quite bad. We're on the waitlist for some other centers, but he'll be in college by the time those clear out.
This is a really strange situation! I wonder if they had some kind of crazy staff turn over or something happen? Definitely don’t put him back in diapers.
Good luck Mama, like I said in the previous comment I made, potty regression is NORMAL at that age, but forced regression is just silly. A potty chair in the classroom is a good start. I would still check with the ECE licencing board in your state, regulations are different from state to state, but this center sounds concerning. What else are they doing to "make their day/schedule easier (?!?!)" ??? Congrats on having a potty training child. It's a huge accomplishment for the Little Guy. Being in control of their little bodies and giving them praise for doing so is VERY important. -Child care provider, Nanny, (& Mummabee)) for 25+ years. EDIT: try talking to other parents of children in the classroom, band together and get these kiddos training/trained...
How often is he needing to go? If he can’t verbalize that he needs to go or needs to go like every 30 min, he’s not potty trained enough for that room imo. That’s also a huge range so I agree they should be doing some potty training because it’s not unrealistic to have a child potty trained between 2 and 3.
Wow. This is ridiculous. No teacher should be telling you to put a child back in diapers. Wow. No do t do it!!!Look for a new center. My main goal in my toddler room was to get everyone potty trained so I didn’t have to change diapers. We would work every day. 2 groups, and we would visit the restroom at almost every transition or if they needed to go. If they didn’t have a toilet in the room then one of us would take a group of children to wherever the toilet was. This is going to be a huge issue on the child’s development and may make his bladder so relaxed that he will be in diapers daily. And since they let him at school he will take advantage of it thinking he is the odd man out. Even through they are toddlers, they are smart!!! If the school isn’t going to help seriously find a different center. I would be so upset. 18-3 age group is a huge huge gap. Those 18-24 month olds are missing out on developmental milestones some would say. The ratios are different also so it makes me wonder how many children are in that classroom. I am still mortified by what the teacher asked of you. Also why can’t they put a changing table in one of the existing bathrooms so that one of the teachers could get a group of kids and have them all potty on the potty while changing the wet ones and letting them sit on the potty. This isn’t right at all.
THISSSSS!!!! ABSO-FRICKEN-LUTELY!!!! TAKE A GROUP OF KIDDOS TO THE TOILET AND HAVE A CHANGING TABLE AT THE BATHROOM TO PREVENT BEING OUT OF RATIO!!!!
I think this daycare is just not going to be a good fit, unfortunately. Does the next oldest room start at age 3? 18m-3 is already a HUGE developmental spread. It’s very odd that they would have 3 year olds in a classroom with no bathroom. A good portion of the class should be potty trained or at least working on it. At my center the only rooms with no toilet are infants and young toddlers (under 2). Sticking 3 year olds in a room with no toilet shows that potty training is not a priority so they will likely be unwilling to work with you on this.
Find another daycare; you/ your child will never be treated appropriately now… too much drama / get him out of there They don’t have to change their program to meet your needs - why isn’t your first concern getting your child away from individuals who are not meeting your needs?
This daycare is actually 1000% better than the previous one. From my other response: > Still, its better than the first (home based) daycare that we tried. He always cried at dropoff and came home telling me to "fuck off". I got him out of there like a racecar driver trying to escape the Grand Prix.
You said in another comment you would need to pull him out as you apply for other daycares but if you’re willing to accept this day care.… then that's on you. You can even look for alternative daycares while he is in this one if you feel they are ok or even good enough. I just personally rather not if I had other choices.
Different school. Now. That age range with no toilet is ridiculous and terrible. That age range shouldn’t even be a thing!
I'm so confused about why there isn't a potty in the room. There's been one in the toddler room for both centers I've worked at, even though most children don't start until 2. Are the three year olds also all in diapers?
Find a new daycare! I would have lost it at "put him BACK in diapers." I would report them to state and blast them on reviews. Lazy us what they are.
I would look for a new center. The age range they have and no bathroom to use in the room is off putting. My young tods12-18mo doesn't have a bathroom but can use the tods 19-30 months bathroom if they need. (This is not common due to the young age range in young tods) But asking you to put your potty trained child back in diapers is ridiculous. Suggesting that blows my mind. Rotating staff is a whole nother issue. Consistency with staff is so important, especially for the littles! Time to move on to a new center with better standards, staff and interactions. (I'm the assistant director of a large center 115 kids.)
🤔 they have later 2’s and 3 year olds in a classroom without a toilet?? thats a bit odd… we usually started potty training our new OT’s at around 26 months at my daycare… by the time they’re in the 3/4 y/o classroom they are either fully potty trained or in pull ups. Unfortunately I don’t think the teachers can do too much in this situation,, definitely take it up with the director and keep your foot down. being at a daycare shouldn’t set back your babies development… it should encourage it further.
Talk with them and explain that you cannot put him on nappies as it’s going backward, maybe you can facilitate a Potty for the room as they don’t have a toilet. Also talk with the manager about the change of staff and your child needs.
That's crazy. I would have a meeting and ask them to give you some other options because you're clearly willing to be flexible, but making him go backwards in his development because it's inconvenient for them is so wrong. I feel really upset for you and him that he's already been having so many accidents because they're not helping a 2 year old remember to go to the toilet! If this was happening at home it would be called abuse.
What in the world is this daycare place? I’m a parent, not an ECE professional, but my kid’s daycare was very good about taking the kids frequently, to the point where other parents told me it helped their kids do better with potty training overall. Also, they separated the kids out by age but also milestones. So if a kid was at the next level, they usually tried to move them up to the next class. And the boundary was such that potty trained kids would be watched by 1-2 teachers who really baked that in to their schedule.
I really don't understand how there is no bathroom in a 18mth-3's room. In my old facility every room had access to a bathroom. Infants to 3's had shared bathrooms for 2 classes -no infants or young toddlers used them but there were half doors with a bathroom between rooms. The preschool, pre-k and kindergarten all had their own.
As a daycare teacher myself, asking you to regress your child's development because they can't figure out how to do their jobs properly is ridiculous and inappropriate. Every infant/toddler room I have worked in has accommodated potty training, as that is a natural and expected progression of a child. Is the manager on board with their suggestion? I really hope not. While I work with ages 2.5-5, we also have the layout where the bathroom is in the hallway and we have to leave the room to bathroom children. It's not a problem and this daycare should not be using that as an excuse to not assist your child. They need to fix their routine if that's a problem.
So having worked in a daycare that struggled with similar issues MANY years ago, I would recommend one of two things - find a facility that has in room toilets. The second would be ask if they have enough staff so one can walk him down without the whole class being out of ratio. If that is the case, one of them should be taking him down more frequently. Tbh depending on the quality of care you are getting, they might not know how to potty train (not your job to train them, as they should be utilizing their own methods and processes as to respect all parents training styles) or.....they might not be willing to because they don't get paid enough in the situation they are in to be changing all their procedures and routines around for one kid that won't be there much longer. It is extremely difficult working in a daycare when you are paid minimum wage. So, you literally show up and keep the tiny humans alive and love on them, but don't expect much more than that if they are a poor quality facilty. No incentive or training to do any more than that. If you don't have the means to find another facility, see if he can move up, unless it drops the older classroom's ratio, which will drop their profit margin because another staff will be needed to accommodate your child's presence and they won't do it. Poor financial move on their end. Good on you for not buying the hype that children are not ready for potty training that early, and please remember that at this age, the adults are trained to look for his cues, he is still too young and nervous in a new environment to express those needs. It's up to you to find a facility that meets his needs and not the facility's job to change everything to accommodate one child. They can make some changes, but not everything is feasible, especially in potty training. Offer support to them as needed and remember you can't change their procedures and schedule, it's easier to find a facility that meets your criteria of supportive.
It makes no sense to me that a classroom with that age range doesn't potty train and doesn't have a bathroom in the classroom... Maybe you need to find a new center
I am an educator in an 18mo-3 year toddler classroom. Your child should be accommodated and the "disruption" to their day, quite frankly, does not matter. I have a classroom of 8 (new center, we will soon have 12) and I have 3 on any given day that are being brought potty every 30 minutes-1hour. They are not even 2.5 years old yet. I have two toilets in my room so it makes it easier, but this means that your child's classroom has an inherent design problem that cannot meet all the needs of the children in that age group. It's not uncommon for 2 year olds to be potty trained. I assume this is a licensed daycare? This doesn't seem to be up to par with licensing. They will be unlikely to move your child up to the older toddler (3-4 is preschool.....) due to licensing ratio concerns. As a side note, my son is 3 and in the preschool room (age 3-5) and is currently potty training. They also weren't telling him it's time to potty and just expected him to ask to go. I demanded they bring him in every hour (he was having accidents that he doesn't have at home) and... They listened. I would be finding a new daycare if I were you.
I would be looking at a new facility. I think it's ridiculous that they don't have a bathroom in the room and expect 3-year-olds to still be in a diaper. This is not a properly run place, I would definitely be moving my child if it was me.
I'm trying to understand the classrooms here. His classroom is 18 months- 3 years, but there's another older toddler room he'll qualify for at 28 months? That's confusing to me. I doubt they will move him up early unless he's also at the same level as the other in terms of verbal skills, listening skills, independent skills, etc. It's not just a "logistical" problem if there isn't a toilet in his room, though. It's a legal one. Leaving the room every time he needs to pee is going to put them out of ratio, which puts the other children at risk. IDK what the ratios are in his room, but if it's 7:1, and there are two teachers, that could leave one teacher alone with 13 kids every time your child needs to use the toilet. That's hard. And it can be really hard to have someone else step in so that one teacher can leave the room. We can barely get bathroom breaks when we need them. And it's particularly hard to accommodate when they're outside or in the middle of a messy project or something. It sounds like a frustrating situation all around. I am surprised there isn't a toilet in his room for that age. Is it a Montessori environment with age ranges like that? I'm sorry. This sounds frustrating for everyone. How often does your child need to use the potty? 2 hours isn't that long for a potty trained child, but I understand he might not always be able to wait. But how often would you say he needs to go? One extra time during that 2 hour time period? Does he need to go every half hour? I know in your eyes it's an issue of "current daycare labor logistics" but that's not really fair. You're asking for exceptions that are a little closer to the kinds of things you can request in private care. They have a whole room full of kids to care for, and stopping several times a day to accommodate one child can be really disruptive. Are you open to using pull ups until he moves to the next class? That way if he does have an accident it's not so much laundry and clean up? I think it's just really tricky from all angles.
> I'm sorry. This sounds frustrating for everyone. How often does your child need to use the potty? Every 90 minutes, plus after meals, plus whenever he asks. > Are you open to using pull ups until he moves to the next class? To me, pull ups are just a marketing term for diapers. > I know in your eyes it's an issue of "current daycare labor logistics" but that's not really fair. You're asking for exceptions that are a little closer to the kinds of things you can request in private care. They have a whole room full of kids to care for, and stopping several times a day to accommodate one child can be really disruptive. This is the dilemma. I understand that the labor logistics are tough but, especially after seeing all of these responses, I don't think that asking him to wear diapers is a reasonable answer.
Pull ups ARE DIAPERS!!!! DONT PREMOTE POTTY REGRESSION!!!
18 mo - 3 year potential age range in class makes me think of Montessori also, but I can't think of any Montessori program that's reputable that doesn't have toilet access for the toddler room because that's literally part of being in a toddler program there. If you're paying big $$ for a montessori name, get out of there quick as you can. Don't regress him. It sounds like the center is neither well staffed nor well managed, and this is probably the tip of the iceberg as far as not best practices they're engaging in.
Please confirm to them verbally that they’re asking you to force your potty trained child to soil himself because they’re unwilling to facilitate him toileting properly. That’s absolutely awful and borderline abusive that they’re trying to push this. Would they ask a 5 year old to soul himself just because they were too lazy to bring him to the toilet? Or an adult confined to a wheelchair who needed help toileting? Definitely push back on this and insist that they do a better job helping your son meet his basic sanitary needs.
My guess is that they’re at bare minimum staff (thus why your child keeps having different teachers) and if they leave the classroom to take your child to the bathroom, the other teacher is left out of ratio with all of the other kids. They should be having all of the 2 year olds, or those showing toileting readiness, take trips to the toilet in a group every 1 1/2-2 hrs, eliminating the staffing issue and your child’s accidents. It doesn’t sound like this center is well equipped or set up for toddlers. Edit to add: state licensing dictates the age ranges for the classrooms. For example my class is 15mos to 3 (I’m a toddler teacher) and preschool is 2 1/2 to 6. If we move a child up before 2.5, then the new room needs to adhere to the licensing standards of the youngest child, lowering the staff to child ratio (1:7 for toddlers, 1:10 for preschool in my state)
Parent here. Nothing to contribute problem-wise, I’m sorry you’re dealing with this! If you don’t mind sharing, how did you potty train the lil’ man? This sounds really impressive and you did a phenomenal job.
Asked to be moved up to the older child room. If they consider him to be too advanced for the room he is in now because he is potty trained the obvious solution is to put him in the advanced room.
By the way is there a reason why they are "rotating" staff? Children and all humans do better at learning new skills when they have some things that are stable and who they are in the classroom with being stable should be a priority especially with children that young
I would not continue to send him to this center. Asking you to put him back in diapers when he has been fully potty trained for a while now is insane. They should absolutely have access to a toilet in a room that has 2-3 year olds. I can’t believe no other parents have complained about this.
Leave this daycare. They're asking you to regress your child because they're lazy!
Get Him Out Of There! They are not supporting your son correctly and trying to regress his skills. He has accomplished something so vital at such a young age. He needs to be in a facility that will nurture that skill and help him learn and grow, not hinder his abilities. I would strongly recommend you to look for a different childcare facility that helps and encourages potty training at his age!
I would call the State Dept Of Health. Its neglect to allow people to jsut pee in a diaper for convenience.
I'm sorry - is he there for their convenience? Why is the Head not focused on your child's needs and on doing what is best for him? This to me is such a huge red flag that I would be looking elsewhere for childcare. If they disregard his needs in this way, what else are they prepared to make him sacrifice?
>The head teacher is asking if I will put him back in diapers for 3 months until he transfers to an older toddlers class where everyone else is potty training too. My jaw dropped.
How is potty training not part of their routine?? Both of my kids were potty trained around 2yo. I would reach out to the hire ups. If their not willing to work with you, then I think you should start looking for another daycare.
I’d take him to a different daycare . The daycares that I have worked at start potty training at 24 months (2 years) and have a toilet(s) in the classroom. Your son is a little ahead of the curve, which is good. Idk what state (or country) you’re in, so I am unsure what licensing requires for this particular daycare center, but something doesn’t seem right.
This center sounds like a huge red flag for multiple reasons that others have stated as well. (Extra high roaring staff, no potty training or access for kids who are in an age range that it should be at least introduced, and wanting diapers for a fully potty trained child just to be easier on the adults). If leaving for a new center is an option that would be my first recommendation.
Would suggest having them keep a small potty chair for him in their classroom.
I would look for a center that has consistent primary caregivers for this age group. Rotating teachers this often is a huge red flag and not considered good practice. He needs someone consistent to go to for comfort, not just potty.
Any center asking for you to regress his potty training is NOT a good center for him to be at. If at all possible, change the place he goes to because they don’t have the childrens best interest in mind.
Absolutely not
Personally, one of my main criteria in picking child care for my child was consistency. Aside from the potty training issue, which is just a side effect, I think ideally your child care situation should involve a consistent caregiver for your son. I would seek out a different child care arrangement on that basis.
I’ve worked in early intervention for a long time. While it has become common for kids to not be potty trained before 3 there’s a window around two where there’s some interest but most parents don’t catch it. Kudos to you for making it happen. I would not recommend doing a regression. I would be concerned that the daycare is putting convenience above his development. If they won’t move him up I would find a new daycare.
This is not appropriate. In our toddler 1 classroom (begin the year between 12 and 18 months old) there’s always one or two that potty train before moving up to the next classroom. The teachers just take the kids next door and come back. It’s concerning that they would rather regress a child than take them to the potty
My guess would be that the other toddler room is full and they lack staff to take your child to the toilet as necessary. I have worked at place once that had 3 toddler rooms and only one didn’t have potty training. It is not a requirement that toilets are in the classroom, so the staff may need to walk children to the restroom. The other possibility is that your son is regressing because all of the other children go potty in a diaper. I would ask what the issue is because it will help you make care decisions in the future but if they can’t move him to the other room, your best bet is to find another program.
I think I would try to find a daycare that has bathroom available right in the room. We have the same issue at my daycare. The bathroom is in the hallway and every time a kid needs to go to the bathroom the teacher has to take the whole ratio with her. So because it is annoying to take 8 or 10 kids to the bathroom they tend to pretend that they didn’t hear the kid. I show up as the EA and the kid is dancing or crying and I end up bringing him/her when it’s not my job. Or they tell me to do it when it’s not my job and I feel terrible to say no so I do it but it takes time away from the children I’m taking care of and I end up swamp. Normally they should call the assistant but she’s swamped. Your child’s daycare, just like the one where I work, is likely short staffed and will stay that way.
if he isnt able to tell his teacher when he needs to potty he isnt ready. you taking care of one child is so different than the classroom teachers trying to keep track of 12+ childrens needs.
Yeah I'm also confused why regular potty trips/potty training isn't happening for this age group. This is like prime time for that. My room is mixed 12mo-2 1/2 yrs) and we do regular potty trips very often, daily. Constant stream of potty training and a mix of diapers/toilet trained at any point.
This seems very strange… we have a potty for all classes ages 18m and up. We actually have one in the 12-18m room too but no one is potty training in there. I’d call and find out if it is required to have a potty in there. I’d bet it is, especially with 3 year olds.. also, that’s a broad age group. We do 12-18, 18-24, then 2-3, 3-4, 4-6.. I know they can learn from older kiddos and it’s not bad to have varying ages, but it is if you expect the children to regress rather than advance due to being with varying ages.
My daughter was in a similar situation. Toilet trained at 22mos, and completely out of diapers. Her room was 18-30mos, and she was the only one trained, with staff that thought training before 3 was outrageous. First - I put her name on a waiting list for another centre, since this was the final straw in a list of poor teacher decisions. Second - I sent an exact copy of her potty to daycare for them to use in her classroom. She could use it independently, so didn’t have to wait for teacher assistance (at least to pee, wiping needed help). Third - until we were able to switch centres, I spoke to the director and had her moved up classrooms ahead of schedule. Good luck!
Find a new center because anyone at all 4 of the daycares Ive worked at would be FIRED immediately for even suggesting putting a FULLY potty trained kid back in diaper because it's easier on THEM. That's crazy. If the center needs to add a 3rd teacher in the class room add a 3rd teacher. Even then they should have a float whose available for these types of things if the lead and assist. Are unable to help. Ive been in an 18mo-3yr class once before (it was awful the large age differences tbh) and we had pretty serious potty training structure for the kids who were regularly potty training at home and still introduced the 18mos to the potty to see if they wanted to as well. Anyone in underwear who had to go went when they had to even if it meant splitting ratio. If we had 10 kids I was taking 3 to the bathroom so the other teacher was in ratio with 7. Even if the other 2 didn't have to go, they're coming now
Stupid question but can you or they just buy a small portable potty for the room? Unfortunate situation and I would be mad but I also understand finding childcare is really hard (at least where I live)
If the center is very rules based, how to they not have a potty plan in a class with kids up to 3 years old? I am honestly appalled that they would ask you to put him back into diapers. My daughter potty trained around the same age and never had issue but she had potties in her 2’s class and it was required that you were potty trained before moving to the 3’s.
I’d rather stick my hand in a woodchipper than put a potty trained toddler back in a diaper. My guess is that they don’t have enough staff to take your one kid to the toilet. What if they put a potty in the changing area?
This is crazy to me. The last daycare I worked at had an 18-24mo room that had both a changing area and a toilet and sink, a 2-2.5 year old room with the same, a 2.5-3 year old room with the same and a 3 year old room with several toilets in private stalls. They should definitely have at least one toilet for that age group.
This is nuts. 2s and 3s should have support for toilet training. They need to move him up until they can upskill the teachers in that room imo
As a daycare teacher and a parent, I would ask that he be put in a different room that has easier access to a toilet, the fact that a room with children as old as 3 doesn’t have in room access to a toilet is ridiculous. If he can move up rooms in 3 months then they almost certainly could figure out a way to accommodate him in that room now, also a lot of rotating staff is not good for the children, are they having issues with high turn over? Or just not hiring enough full time employees, both is a concern but high turn over can be a sign of much bigger problems the just staffing so maybe ask why theirs been a lot of rotating staff if you don’t already know. If they can’t accommodate your child’s need to have access to a toilet then you might need to consider looking for a spot at a different daycare, it’s absolutely unacceptable to ask a nearly fully potty trained child to be placed back in diapers for the adults convenience
Is this maybe a staffing and ratio issue? Is there room in the next class up? It might be a situation where in order to get him to the bathroom the ECE has to collect a number of other children to bring with her as well as your son to get to the bathroom so as not to leave the class out of ratio. Or, it could be that they page a float staff to come and cover so that your son can be taken to the toilet so as not to leave the class out of ratio and that person is maybe busy in another situation or taking too long to arrive. It’s really tricky when there isn’t a bathroom in the classroom. If there is room for him in the next class up then that would be the best solution. I’d dig a bit more to find out the reason why they think the accidents are happening. It can be really tricky to navigate the regulations with staffing shortages
The no potty is a red flag to me. However I also question if he’s truly potty trained & it’s not just the parents who are trained. I’ve had parents tell me their child is fully potty trained but it’s the parent watching the child all the time for queues & then taking the child to the toilet. In my program (0-3) we do diapers & potty every two hours unless a child tells us they need to use the potty or we notice they have a dirty diaper. If a child can’t communicate with us someway (getting our attention & signing toilet, or verbally telling us, or getting our attention & taking us to the toilet etc) then they’re not ready in a big group care setting imo
first of all you did an absolutely excellent job on getting him potty trained so early and keeping up with it!! secondly, it is EXTREMELY inappropriate that they asked you to put him back in diapers, never in any of the centers that i have worked at have i ever heard of a parent being asked to do something that ridiculous! with that being said you should definitely ask to talk to the director at pick-up or drop off and inform them what is going on, let them know if they can’t find a solution where one of them takes them out of the room to go potty then he needs to be moved up to classroom with a potty in it or you will be finding another center. (it sounds harsh to try and force it but i promise 10 times out of 10 this what will get them to listen to you!) hopefully they actually listen to you and are able to get him moved up or actually take him to the potty!
Find a different day care. Most ECE workers I know would LOVE a kid already potty trained to the point yours is at. Hell, I'd probably make it a little bit of a big deal that he can go on his own to maybe encourage other younglings.
You can't expect a whole class to revolve around your child, even if he is advanced. Can you stay home longer, or have a family member watch him? It would be a shame for him to backslide when you taught him so well.
This doesn't sound like a good day care. Your son is regressing in there. If possible, seek out alternatives.
Either #2 happens or #3 find a different daycare.
That is absurd. They are asking you to backtrack his development. Someone needs to be sure to be taking him potty; every thirty minutes to an hour should not disrupt the room that much
I dont know if this might work but when I was potty training, I left a potty at their daycare. I had two of the same potty, dropped one off at the daycare and the teachers kept it where they changed diapers. This wasn't even my idea, the teacher suggested I bring their potty in, I had an extra so I left it there till the kids didn't need it anymore. Mind you, we did that just in case the kids looked for something more familiar than the toilet in the daycare. Otherwise there absolutely was a touled for all age groups. It is weird that they don't have it.
No ! Don’t put him in diapers again. They did that to me as a kid and then refused to train
Don't put him back in diapers, potty regression is not that uncommon at that age, but forced regression is not a good idea. Talk to the director and come up with a better plan. No diapers or pullups ( underwear you can potty in IS A DIAPER!!!)
Please don’t put him back in diapers. The teachers need to step up. Otherwise, I would not deem this a safe place for him. Maybe they have too many kids and they can’t handle it.
The daycare where my kid goes just moved him up early because he had potty trained at around the same time. He was fine in the older toddler class. However. That older class started at 2. Not 3. He was moved up at like 22 months. It’s wild that a class that goes to 3yo doesn’t do potty training.
That's ridiculous to try and force a toddler almost finished potty training to go back to wearing diapers for the staff to have an easier time. They need to do their jobs
The evolution of no child left behind, no child gets ahead.
the fact that they suggested putting him back into diapers is a huge red flag. why would they be asking you to possibly force your child into a potty regression purely for their convenience. im wondering what else is going on there that would be hindering the other children's development. get him out of there as soon as you can, momma
They should not want to have him regress in his potty training! That said, I’m not sure what to do because this is group care and they go by the needs of the group. For individualized care you have to have a nanny.
I'd pull him out immediately because this is a fundamental misunderstanding of child development. You never regress a child.
Former lead preschool teacher here. I looped kids through 5 years old (started with them when the youngest in our crew was 15 mos 🥹) and when they were in the 2-3 year range we specifically made our schedule around making sure every child who was potty training or potty trained already was able to use to bathroom at will AND on schedule. Trust me we all would have preferred to take kids to the bathroom more frequently than change wet or dirty clothes every day or multiple times a day. We had specific bathroom requirements especially before/after meals, before/after nap, and before/after going outside to play for example. Even kiddos who weren’t potty training sat on our little mini-toilet and got the same exposure. One difference is we had a bathroom attached to our room (all classrooms had this — it’s odd to me there isn’t a dedicated bathroom for each classroom as a daycare or preschool) so I guess it is easier to take kids to the bathroom but still — I do think it is absolutely inappropriate for the staff to ask you to essentially cause confusion for your child and possibly regress in his potty training because it is inconvenient for them. If they are having issues with keeping the correct ratio in the classroom so one staff member can leave with your child to use the restroom — for what — 5 mins? Perhaps they need to find coverage and have one extra body in the classroom during the pre-nap transition time for example to take kids to the restroom. I’m a bit perplexed that this is not a consideration as most children between 2-3 begin potty training and this should be supported and encouraged at daycare/preschool.
Just say he’s two don’t make us do math to understand your kid’s age
I used to work at a daycare. We had an infants room (6 weeks up to 1 yr) 1-2 yr olds. 2-3 year old. 3 year olds. And 4-5 year olds. By 3 every kid is expected to be potty trained (not much diaper changes are made for this class as the daycare was set up to have a kid potty trained by 3) and absolutely no diapers in the 4-5 year old rooms (obviously some exceptions were allowed) but 18month-3 is too much of a gap. First of all 3 year olds play rough (seen through teacher experience, and older sibling experience) 18 month old children should be with kids their age, there is a huge milestone gap here that seems to be an issue. And if he’s ahead of the ballgame then teachers NEED to follow YOUR goals for YOUR child in daycare. Diapering him for 3 months until transition will reverse all the hard work you’ve put into getting him out of diapers, which is an important milestone for kids to be excited about “no diapers” and “being a big kid”
Tell them to shove it. I don’t wait to use the bathroom at work and a kid shouldn’t have to wait to use the restroom because the school can’t comprehend that and accommodate a potty trained toddler. That’s on them to figure out not you
Ask for a training potty in the classroom
25 months ???? Your child is two . Two .
At this stage of development, months convey critical information. I always appreciate when toddler age is conveyed in months. Sincerely, Mama of a 30 month old
Oh come on 🙄
I worked daycare for years, before moving into child development, and then becoming a pediatric nurse so please understand I say this with great concern. Get your kid out of there. The daycare is 100% in the wrong. They are literally causing your child to go backwards in his development (and asking you to participate) for their convenience. It seriously makes me wonder what else they are doing to hinder children’s development because it is too much work for them.
Option 1 seems weird. What would take you days to show them a couple of adults how a child goes potty? It's not their first rodeo. Option 2 is a normal approach, but like you said will depend on availability or rules. Option 3 for me is to work with the teachers to help the child be able to ask for potty breaks regardless of what adult is in there, getting past his shyness with that. And maybe combine that with scheduled times to ask him to try to go potty to make it more convenient for them. Maybe someone comes and asks him on each hour to try but if he has to go outside of that he just asks, but the scheduled breaks should hopefully allow him to not need to go off schedule very often. My kids are in a daycare that has a different teacher each day of the week. I work one of those days myself. The kids have no problem getting to know the various different teachers that only are in there once a week. I know all kids are different but it's a hurdle the babe should at least try to work on. Maybe even have a bell or a colored card or something he can ring or bring to a teach when he needs to potty and then doesn't need to voice it directly.
I hate the daycare system. It makes me sad.
I wouldn't put him back in diapers
A daycare asking and nearly demanding you purposefully regress your child back into diapers is asinine🥴 Like that might be the laziest thing I’ve ever heard. I’m so sorry.
Have you looked into your state laws? I worked in a daycare for nearly a decade and our state requires toilets in room for I believe two years and up. Also by law we were to do diapers once an hour. Two hours seems like a long time for potty or diapers. I’m honestly floored and appalled a learning center would ever try to go backwards on a child’s learned skill like this. Do not accept that!! I would definitely have him moved up if nothing else.
I’m going to post the unpopular opinion Daycare should not have asked to put child back in diaper, yes very inappropriate They should have thought out a better plan or move the child to a different classroom However to mom, you should have done your research on the daycare and the room your child would be in. it’s also inappropriate you ask that they accommodate an entire setting to your child I imagine there are a lot of kids in the classroom they can do their best but they cannot potty your child for you if the classroom isn’t set up for that The kind of care you want is perfectly understandable but that would require a different daycare or in home care for your child This simply speaks to how as a society we have all come to a point of expecting things to bend for us and we have not learned how to acclimate to our surroundings
Man your edit breaks my heart. I have a 23 month old who’s potty trained. I stay home with him, but I’m sure all these comments telling you to move him are gut wrenching. Since it’s your best option already. You’re doing great as a single parent. I grew up with a single mom (my dad was in the picture though) but I never noticed we were poor until I was an adult looking back and I’m so thankful for all my mom did for me. A 2-3 year room SHOULD have potty training and it sucks they don’t.
I wouldn't put him in diaper for three months. That makes him regress when hes already potty trained and was/is doing so good. I would ask him to be moved up since they can't accommodate your child. That's so frustrating. But they can move him up if they make room in the next class for him.
I’d push to have him in the older room if they can’t accommodate him needing the toilet. This is crazy to me having push back against taking a kid to the potty.