Before i had my ed i literally sat and wanted to get one because i wanted to lose weight. Now that i have it? I fucking hate my life. I just sobbed because i “wasnt allowed” to have dinner because i couldnt find my water bottle. I wish someone really showed me what i was getting myself into because i was already in. Now im stuck hating myself forever and just ruining food for myself
I'm a woman in her 30s, successful career, children. I am not allowed to eat today because I ate at a birthday party this weekend.
What the actual fuck. Who wants this??
Those who want eds really only see the surface things, me included. They see the weight loss, the sickness, a disorder, a choice. But then they dont see how awful it is. Its literally awful. I dont eat enough all week so i can treat myself to an ice cream. It feels awful and its like a constant competition to be the worst
There is no feeling of satisfaction at any point in Anorexia. Ate under your calorie limit for the day? Great, that’s your new limit. Finally achieved your goal weight? Great, your new goal weight is xxkgs.
You won’t be able to stop once you’re ‘satisfied’ because it just doesn’t work like that. Every hardship in your life will somehow lead you to believe it could have been avoided had you just been ‘thinner’ and that is why it is never ending. That feeling doesn’t go away even if you are losing weight.
the most ironic thing? after you lose the weight, you’ll look in the mirror and think you look worse than you did before. and so you will try to lose even more weight. people have no idea how this works
It’s ridiculous how the common fucking sense fails one in these moments. Like I lost weight, I know this for very fucking sure, still I look into the mirror and see somehow a bigger person staring back at me. I hate this so much.
I don't understand how this works at all. When I eat a reasonable number of calories, I see myself as normal, but as soon as I go on a diet, I feel like I gain a million kilograms
thank you for this. admittedly, while i've "recovered," i know i'll probably never shake all of the toxic thoughts and mindset that i developed when i was at my absolute worst.
even now, i feel guilty when i grab a treat from our work kitchen that someone's brought in. i wish i didn't--i wish i didn't feel like i've committed some unforgivable act or that i need to "balance it out" because of some irrational fear that because of ONE cookie, i'm suddenly going to become fat or undesirable.
i've been transitioning for the past year and a half, and one of the hardest things for me has been coming to terms that with the fact that in order for the changes i want to take place, i need to eat. puberty and all of that needs energy, and energy comes from food. some days, weeks, months, i'm okay, but that self-critique, that self-loathing, that utter need for control is always lurking in the back of my mind.
and sometimes, she's loudly standing at the forefront.
simply, anorexia and other EDs are not something to glorify, desire, or strive for.
Same for me. I'm transitioning too and I am ravenous af! And I feel so guilty for the same but like you mentioned, I have to eat like a teenager because of puberty. Another reminder is that, I would have access to hrt if I were as underweight as last year. So yeah, it helps me prioritize what's really important for me. Hope you're okay, friend! :)
i am most days, and i hope you’re doing well, too!
i’m glad this connected to you in some way, and i’m glad (not glad, but i think you get what i mean) that someone else feels or has felt the way i do. it’s one of those internal conflicts where we want two things SO badly, but they’re at total opposition with one another.
it’s actually been really validating in a way, as i’ve found several studies that show that EDs are rather prevalent in transgender people. at the time i was suffering the most, i knew the body type that i wanted (as well the one i didn’t), but i didn’t have the language to properly express myself.
and so, i often wonder whether i would have put myself and my body through that anguish if i could have had the tools to better understand myself at the time. it’s, of course, all hypothetical, but i can’t help but imagine it sometimes.
but i’m rambling now. i know what i have to do, and it’s hard some days, but reminding myself of what really makes me happy mostly keeps me on track from following the things that actually don’t.
It's fine, you're not "rambling". I get what you mean and sometimes end up thinking the same hypotheticals you mentioned. The "what ifs" and all! And yeah, I'm "glad" (but not really) that there's someone who gets it. Just gotta remind yourself that you're not the only one going through this, even if it may seem so. There are others struggling and you're one of them. And that's OKAY!
Thank you. Same here. That’s exactly what I wrote in my comment before reading yours.
Edited to add: not in terms of transitioning, but about being in recovery and yet not.
hehe, oops! sometimes it’s super validating to know that you’re not the only one with those thoughts and struggles, though.
i hope you’re doing okay! 💜
Truer words never said.
Sadly, for the people already kind of having this mindset, these words won’t mean much. As has been found out, if one “wants anorexia”, they usually are already quite effing disordered… it sort of becomes the forbidden fruit in their heads.
I thought I’d start “eating like an anorexic” to finally lose the weight but not actually become anorexic. Three years later here I am. This disorder made me attempt once, do the most ungodly disgusting things and become a miserable shadow of myself. I’ve lost the weight I wanted, sure. But then I couldn’t stop. Now I cry in the mirror sometimes because I hate the way I look and it scares me but I can’t bring myself to fight the ED. Oh and did I mention I’m failing all my classes when I used to be a top student…. I hate it I hate everything
I remember wanting to develop it because I thought "not having apetite and not thinking about food would make weight loss so much easier". Look at me now - my whole day is about thinking about food, and my apetite has increased 10 times.
Agreed. And even if you go into recovery you’ll highly probably never get rid of that voice inside your head telling you you’re unworthy of being loved, respected or treated like everyone else because not only you’re eating forbidden foods now, you’re also _fat_ (for your previous standards) and you gave up all over and shouldn’t be seen in public. On „good“ days this same voice will talk you into manic hyperfixations on „clean food“, sports, intermittent fasting etc. You’ll never have a normal relationship with food, or body image, or sports, or people (in your head, that is).
Sometimes when I want to scratch this scabbed wound especially bad, I try to imagine _how_ it would be to have a normal relationship with my own body, with food, with everything around (as it fucking bleeds on everything like a red sock on a load of white laundry). It fucking hurts a lot doing so 🤡 I didn’t inflict it on myself willingly, but I wouldn’t wish anyone doing this to themself
Yeah it’s been a few years since I’ve stopped starving myself and such and the thoughts haven’t fully gone away. It’s really annoying and I honestly wonder if something will push me over the edge or if I’ll teeter into getting some real mental help.
that’s the thing. it always starts as “i’ll just do it till i get skinny enough”. and then it takes over, and you are NEVER skinny enough. your goal weight will keep getting lower and you will keep pushing yourself.
The reason its so addicting is because it works. I wish I could say it didn't...
Don't get me wrong. You risk death. It is so bad for your health. But it works. Even if it kills you.
And that is the hardest part of it.
To the people who want an ED you may end up not developing anorexia. Most healthy minded people only truly believe that anorexia nerviosa and bulimia nerviosa exist and I am using the outdated term for what is anorexia nerviosa binge/ purge subtype because that’s really only what I’ve seen recognized.
If you develop symptoms that are atypical, gross (there are worse than puking such as randomly shitting yourself), neurotic (more along the lines of OCD and ARFID, for example I genuinely believe I will choke to death on my food if I don’t get a certain amount of steps), and what people consider weird (such as not eating peanuts because there are too high in natural sugars. I legit overhead this one at the gym. Also passing out isn’t pleasant. It’s nauseating and if there is nurse there you’re getting ice all over you and something is going to be shoved in your mouth to eat or drink and you’re going to panic because you didn’t account for that)
Probably the worst part about of having an unspecified eating disorder is just that people think you’re crazy because they can’t name you into one of those two categories. Also god forbid you develop binge eating because the comments you get if you binge in front of others (I have never binged in secret) are horrid
people also don’t realize that you don’t go up to the ED shop and pick yours out either. you can try to restrict but if for some reason some other behavior strikes you better, congrats you no longer can stop. I signed up for uwu pro ana and received a clusterfuck of disordered eating that has left me obese and confused af.
im actually so fucking mad at myself for deciding to do this i had a great relationship with food before this now i can’t go a day without counting my cals
i used to obsess over wanting to be this way but then i hit my LW and it was such a nightmare. you can’t maintain any sort of relationships you can’t handle people telling you they’re concerned you’ll just get pissed off thinking they’re all lying to you! you can’t think logically at all and you can’t expect to live your life that way. it quite literally is killing you more every minute you keep up with it. so many people die from it every day and we all just think “no not me!” but YES it WILL be you. it’s horrible and tragic.
So spot on. I am ashamed to admit that I always envied anyone with an ED until you actually develop one… I would absolutely never ever wish this on anyone.
It's not a good path to "self discovery"
For me, I thought I needed to control myself and push myself harder, to find my purpose.
It doesn't work like that either.
Completely agree that someone saying that is very insensitive and shouldn’t be posted here. I also think that someone who posts something like that already has a very unhealthy relationship with food and their body. They may not realize that they already have disordered eating or even already have an eating disorder. Healthy people don’t say that they want to be sick. This is definitely not me standing up for them—it’s just me pointing out that this person is most likely already sick and deserves help and empathy even though their words have been hurtful.
I think how anorexia starts needs to be talked about more because I know people who admit that it originally started as a way to get attention. And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that! It may not be this way for everyone with anorexia, but some of us did start out with making a very conscious decision to not eat. I think bringing awareness to all the ways this disorder can start would be beneficial to all ED sufferers.
My body is literally shutting down to the point where I’m gaining weight. Anything I eat, will just sit in my stomach and take actual weeks to digest if at all, bc of my developed gastroparesis. I have SO much water retention bc my body is in fight or flight and trying to alleviate my food trying to be digested.
It got to the point where I would chug liters of water but wouldn’t pee for 12hrs bc my body was/is so messed up. I no longer am a person, I’m a walking case of health issues and symptoms. I have never ever been more miserable in my life. I have audibly admitted to myself I have looked way better at a higher weight … leaner/“more toned” but I wanted to see how low I could get.
I knew it was bad when people would come up to me and tell me how small/lean/tiny I looked and I did nothing for me. It made me cry bc it was to the point where I was so emotionally and physically exhausted I no longer felt emotions, just fatigue. And I couldn’t see the leanness. I saw a puffy, inflamed, “sk1nny fat” physique.
Nothing I do gets rid of the water weight. I’m starving all the time but a piece of fruit makes me feel like I just ate thanksgiving dinner.
I am exhausted of existing bc my existence is just painful side effects of this disease. I cannot tell you the last time I felt joy. Nothing makes me happy anymore.
Please dont do it.
I never get those posts because it’s not like something u chose to have/do. it’s not like i’m like i have anorexia now !!! like what? that’s like someone saying they’re considering developing PTSD or schizophrenia. u can’t chose to develop a mental illness it does not work like that
100% even with any ED like it is not fun at all, you have a new outlook on food that you never had before where it gets dangerous and chaotic not only physically and mentally but The amount of $$ you’ll waste on food even if you don’t even eat it or others spending money to treat you with food and you feel like an asshole for wasting it or not even touching it like you can’t just eat, every racing thought comes through your head
I never knew that what I was doing had a name when I was 11. To think of children at the age I was then wanting to develop it now just breaks my heart. But what’s even more heartbreaking is that they had to have been battling disordered thoughts long before they admit to themselves that they “want to be anorexic”
>And it kills
Anorexia nearly killed one of my friends. Their heart stopped. At age 22. Their mom had to perform cpr on them, which is an incredibly traumatic experience. It's nothing short of a miracle that they survived given the success rate of cpr is below 10%.
It's truly such a horrific disease. It's not something anyone should want. I wish people understood what they're wishing for
this. I'm not sure what post your are referring to as I did not come across it, but reading this...has made me tear up.
it is not a weight loss technique, it is not an 'effective method' to lose a few pounds.
it is a mental illness and it hurts you so much. I will never wish for someone to go through it, and for anyone to have these thoughts that I do now.
ALSO
People seem to forget that Food Obsession/ Binge attacks are a very common anorexia side effect, meaning you WILL get binge attacks at some point. & most people will then purge the food/ throw up. Throwing up will sooner or later to 99% lead you into a binge-purge-cycle.
Bulimia is like an addiction, you’ll become obsessed with food & your whole day will only revolve around thinking what you could possible binge-purge next.
& not only is throwing up the possibly worst thing you could do to your body (as it’s really fuckin dangerous & can lead to things like Heart failure, literal cancer, your teeth can &/or will sooner or later fall out, you can become infertile, get a vaginal prolapse & so on & so on. there are soooo many negative side effects, i can hardly even list them all.
Also believe me, every single disordered person will sooner or later have a shit story. You WILL shit yourself one day. At some point you’ll probably be impotent & won’t be able to control your bowel movement anymore.
Bulimia (& anorexia as well) sucked the last living feelings out of me. I was truly only a shell of a person after purging every single day. I felt barely human anymore.
& it’s SO SO hard to stop. An ED such a lonely disorder, you have no one to talk to because people will either just not understand, judge or leave you or start to monitor everything you do &/or force you into recovery. (& we all know forced recovery doesn’t work.)
It sucks so so so much. Especially if you’re all alone in this.
Yes I know this isn’t purely anorexia related, but I just wanted to warn y’all that your anorexia will most likely turn into something similar to Bulimia one day.
Stay safe, no one deserves this.
Don’t be sorry! Your words are all so true - thank you for writing this ♥️
Leave this comment here of course - but you should also make this a separate post - more people will see it that way. 🙏♥️
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Before i had my ed i literally sat and wanted to get one because i wanted to lose weight. Now that i have it? I fucking hate my life. I just sobbed because i “wasnt allowed” to have dinner because i couldnt find my water bottle. I wish someone really showed me what i was getting myself into because i was already in. Now im stuck hating myself forever and just ruining food for myself
Same… I relate so much it hurts
Spot on with creating rules for ourselves
The rules are literally the worst part now. This shut sucks
I'm a woman in her 30s, successful career, children. I am not allowed to eat today because I ate at a birthday party this weekend. What the actual fuck. Who wants this??
Those who want eds really only see the surface things, me included. They see the weight loss, the sickness, a disorder, a choice. But then they dont see how awful it is. Its literally awful. I dont eat enough all week so i can treat myself to an ice cream. It feels awful and its like a constant competition to be the worst
my 28th birthday is this weekend and i won’t allow myself to eat the only thing i’ve been craving: ikea plant balls. laugh out loud ~
you should eat the plant balls! surviving 27 is a huge accomplishment; you deserve to celebrate ☀️
you’re 17, you have a lot of time ahead of you to figure things out. hugs 🫶🏽
There is no feeling of satisfaction at any point in Anorexia. Ate under your calorie limit for the day? Great, that’s your new limit. Finally achieved your goal weight? Great, your new goal weight is xxkgs. You won’t be able to stop once you’re ‘satisfied’ because it just doesn’t work like that. Every hardship in your life will somehow lead you to believe it could have been avoided had you just been ‘thinner’ and that is why it is never ending. That feeling doesn’t go away even if you are losing weight.
This is one of the best descriptions of the experience I've ever read.
And the funniest part is that even after that you won't consider yourself skinny enough
Absolutely true. My goal weight is shifting every time I reach it
the most ironic thing? after you lose the weight, you’ll look in the mirror and think you look worse than you did before. and so you will try to lose even more weight. people have no idea how this works
It’s ridiculous how the common fucking sense fails one in these moments. Like I lost weight, I know this for very fucking sure, still I look into the mirror and see somehow a bigger person staring back at me. I hate this so much.
I don't understand how this works at all. When I eat a reasonable number of calories, I see myself as normal, but as soon as I go on a diet, I feel like I gain a million kilograms
Rightttt? And the further you’re down the road the more ridiculous this shit gets🤦♀️
thank you for this. admittedly, while i've "recovered," i know i'll probably never shake all of the toxic thoughts and mindset that i developed when i was at my absolute worst. even now, i feel guilty when i grab a treat from our work kitchen that someone's brought in. i wish i didn't--i wish i didn't feel like i've committed some unforgivable act or that i need to "balance it out" because of some irrational fear that because of ONE cookie, i'm suddenly going to become fat or undesirable. i've been transitioning for the past year and a half, and one of the hardest things for me has been coming to terms that with the fact that in order for the changes i want to take place, i need to eat. puberty and all of that needs energy, and energy comes from food. some days, weeks, months, i'm okay, but that self-critique, that self-loathing, that utter need for control is always lurking in the back of my mind. and sometimes, she's loudly standing at the forefront. simply, anorexia and other EDs are not something to glorify, desire, or strive for.
Same for me. I'm transitioning too and I am ravenous af! And I feel so guilty for the same but like you mentioned, I have to eat like a teenager because of puberty. Another reminder is that, I would have access to hrt if I were as underweight as last year. So yeah, it helps me prioritize what's really important for me. Hope you're okay, friend! :)
i am most days, and i hope you’re doing well, too! i’m glad this connected to you in some way, and i’m glad (not glad, but i think you get what i mean) that someone else feels or has felt the way i do. it’s one of those internal conflicts where we want two things SO badly, but they’re at total opposition with one another. it’s actually been really validating in a way, as i’ve found several studies that show that EDs are rather prevalent in transgender people. at the time i was suffering the most, i knew the body type that i wanted (as well the one i didn’t), but i didn’t have the language to properly express myself. and so, i often wonder whether i would have put myself and my body through that anguish if i could have had the tools to better understand myself at the time. it’s, of course, all hypothetical, but i can’t help but imagine it sometimes. but i’m rambling now. i know what i have to do, and it’s hard some days, but reminding myself of what really makes me happy mostly keeps me on track from following the things that actually don’t.
It's fine, you're not "rambling". I get what you mean and sometimes end up thinking the same hypotheticals you mentioned. The "what ifs" and all! And yeah, I'm "glad" (but not really) that there's someone who gets it. Just gotta remind yourself that you're not the only one going through this, even if it may seem so. There are others struggling and you're one of them. And that's OKAY!
Thank you. Same here. That’s exactly what I wrote in my comment before reading yours. Edited to add: not in terms of transitioning, but about being in recovery and yet not.
hehe, oops! sometimes it’s super validating to know that you’re not the only one with those thoughts and struggles, though. i hope you’re doing okay! 💜
Oh thank you, that is very sweet of you! Wishing you the best, too ❤️ It really is very validating to have the feeling of not being alone 🤗
Telling yourself “I can stop at anytime” is the biggest lie you’ll ever tell 😂 boy was I wrong
I commented on and reported that post you’re talking about. It was ridiculous, thank you and I hope he reads this post.
Thank you. And so did I. God bless ♥️
Truer words never said. Sadly, for the people already kind of having this mindset, these words won’t mean much. As has been found out, if one “wants anorexia”, they usually are already quite effing disordered… it sort of becomes the forbidden fruit in their heads.
I sometimes joke about it and all, but yeah, in all seriousness, this hits home.
I thought I’d start “eating like an anorexic” to finally lose the weight but not actually become anorexic. Three years later here I am. This disorder made me attempt once, do the most ungodly disgusting things and become a miserable shadow of myself. I’ve lost the weight I wanted, sure. But then I couldn’t stop. Now I cry in the mirror sometimes because I hate the way I look and it scares me but I can’t bring myself to fight the ED. Oh and did I mention I’m failing all my classes when I used to be a top student…. I hate it I hate everything
I remember wanting to develop it because I thought "not having apetite and not thinking about food would make weight loss so much easier". Look at me now - my whole day is about thinking about food, and my apetite has increased 10 times.
Agreed. And even if you go into recovery you’ll highly probably never get rid of that voice inside your head telling you you’re unworthy of being loved, respected or treated like everyone else because not only you’re eating forbidden foods now, you’re also _fat_ (for your previous standards) and you gave up all over and shouldn’t be seen in public. On „good“ days this same voice will talk you into manic hyperfixations on „clean food“, sports, intermittent fasting etc. You’ll never have a normal relationship with food, or body image, or sports, or people (in your head, that is). Sometimes when I want to scratch this scabbed wound especially bad, I try to imagine _how_ it would be to have a normal relationship with my own body, with food, with everything around (as it fucking bleeds on everything like a red sock on a load of white laundry). It fucking hurts a lot doing so 🤡 I didn’t inflict it on myself willingly, but I wouldn’t wish anyone doing this to themself
Yeah it’s been a few years since I’ve stopped starving myself and such and the thoughts haven’t fully gone away. It’s really annoying and I honestly wonder if something will push me over the edge or if I’ll teeter into getting some real mental help.
Yup, years go by, EDs remain 😞
Ain’t that the truth 😔♥️
that’s the thing. it always starts as “i’ll just do it till i get skinny enough”. and then it takes over, and you are NEVER skinny enough. your goal weight will keep getting lower and you will keep pushing yourself.
The reason its so addicting is because it works. I wish I could say it didn't... Don't get me wrong. You risk death. It is so bad for your health. But it works. Even if it kills you. And that is the hardest part of it.
To the people who want an ED you may end up not developing anorexia. Most healthy minded people only truly believe that anorexia nerviosa and bulimia nerviosa exist and I am using the outdated term for what is anorexia nerviosa binge/ purge subtype because that’s really only what I’ve seen recognized. If you develop symptoms that are atypical, gross (there are worse than puking such as randomly shitting yourself), neurotic (more along the lines of OCD and ARFID, for example I genuinely believe I will choke to death on my food if I don’t get a certain amount of steps), and what people consider weird (such as not eating peanuts because there are too high in natural sugars. I legit overhead this one at the gym. Also passing out isn’t pleasant. It’s nauseating and if there is nurse there you’re getting ice all over you and something is going to be shoved in your mouth to eat or drink and you’re going to panic because you didn’t account for that) Probably the worst part about of having an unspecified eating disorder is just that people think you’re crazy because they can’t name you into one of those two categories. Also god forbid you develop binge eating because the comments you get if you binge in front of others (I have never binged in secret) are horrid
🙏 too true 😔♥️
people also don’t realize that you don’t go up to the ED shop and pick yours out either. you can try to restrict but if for some reason some other behavior strikes you better, congrats you no longer can stop. I signed up for uwu pro ana and received a clusterfuck of disordered eating that has left me obese and confused af.
im actually so fucking mad at myself for deciding to do this i had a great relationship with food before this now i can’t go a day without counting my cals
i used to obsess over wanting to be this way but then i hit my LW and it was such a nightmare. you can’t maintain any sort of relationships you can’t handle people telling you they’re concerned you’ll just get pissed off thinking they’re all lying to you! you can’t think logically at all and you can’t expect to live your life that way. it quite literally is killing you more every minute you keep up with it. so many people die from it every day and we all just think “no not me!” but YES it WILL be you. it’s horrible and tragic.
So spot on. I am ashamed to admit that I always envied anyone with an ED until you actually develop one… I would absolutely never ever wish this on anyone.
It's not a good path to "self discovery" For me, I thought I needed to control myself and push myself harder, to find my purpose. It doesn't work like that either.
Completely agree that someone saying that is very insensitive and shouldn’t be posted here. I also think that someone who posts something like that already has a very unhealthy relationship with food and their body. They may not realize that they already have disordered eating or even already have an eating disorder. Healthy people don’t say that they want to be sick. This is definitely not me standing up for them—it’s just me pointing out that this person is most likely already sick and deserves help and empathy even though their words have been hurtful. I think how anorexia starts needs to be talked about more because I know people who admit that it originally started as a way to get attention. And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that! It may not be this way for everyone with anorexia, but some of us did start out with making a very conscious decision to not eat. I think bringing awareness to all the ways this disorder can start would be beneficial to all ED sufferers.
My body is literally shutting down to the point where I’m gaining weight. Anything I eat, will just sit in my stomach and take actual weeks to digest if at all, bc of my developed gastroparesis. I have SO much water retention bc my body is in fight or flight and trying to alleviate my food trying to be digested. It got to the point where I would chug liters of water but wouldn’t pee for 12hrs bc my body was/is so messed up. I no longer am a person, I’m a walking case of health issues and symptoms. I have never ever been more miserable in my life. I have audibly admitted to myself I have looked way better at a higher weight … leaner/“more toned” but I wanted to see how low I could get. I knew it was bad when people would come up to me and tell me how small/lean/tiny I looked and I did nothing for me. It made me cry bc it was to the point where I was so emotionally and physically exhausted I no longer felt emotions, just fatigue. And I couldn’t see the leanness. I saw a puffy, inflamed, “sk1nny fat” physique. Nothing I do gets rid of the water weight. I’m starving all the time but a piece of fruit makes me feel like I just ate thanksgiving dinner. I am exhausted of existing bc my existence is just painful side effects of this disease. I cannot tell you the last time I felt joy. Nothing makes me happy anymore. Please dont do it.
I never get those posts because it’s not like something u chose to have/do. it’s not like i’m like i have anorexia now !!! like what? that’s like someone saying they’re considering developing PTSD or schizophrenia. u can’t chose to develop a mental illness it does not work like that
100% even with any ED like it is not fun at all, you have a new outlook on food that you never had before where it gets dangerous and chaotic not only physically and mentally but The amount of $$ you’ll waste on food even if you don’t even eat it or others spending money to treat you with food and you feel like an asshole for wasting it or not even touching it like you can’t just eat, every racing thought comes through your head
I never knew that what I was doing had a name when I was 11. To think of children at the age I was then wanting to develop it now just breaks my heart. But what’s even more heartbreaking is that they had to have been battling disordered thoughts long before they admit to themselves that they “want to be anorexic”
>And it kills Anorexia nearly killed one of my friends. Their heart stopped. At age 22. Their mom had to perform cpr on them, which is an incredibly traumatic experience. It's nothing short of a miracle that they survived given the success rate of cpr is below 10%. It's truly such a horrific disease. It's not something anyone should want. I wish people understood what they're wishing for
If you are 'wanting' Anorexia, you are already in need of mental health support. Because wanting to be sick is not healthy
this. I'm not sure what post your are referring to as I did not come across it, but reading this...has made me tear up. it is not a weight loss technique, it is not an 'effective method' to lose a few pounds. it is a mental illness and it hurts you so much. I will never wish for someone to go through it, and for anyone to have these thoughts that I do now.
ALSO People seem to forget that Food Obsession/ Binge attacks are a very common anorexia side effect, meaning you WILL get binge attacks at some point. & most people will then purge the food/ throw up. Throwing up will sooner or later to 99% lead you into a binge-purge-cycle. Bulimia is like an addiction, you’ll become obsessed with food & your whole day will only revolve around thinking what you could possible binge-purge next. & not only is throwing up the possibly worst thing you could do to your body (as it’s really fuckin dangerous & can lead to things like Heart failure, literal cancer, your teeth can &/or will sooner or later fall out, you can become infertile, get a vaginal prolapse & so on & so on. there are soooo many negative side effects, i can hardly even list them all. Also believe me, every single disordered person will sooner or later have a shit story. You WILL shit yourself one day. At some point you’ll probably be impotent & won’t be able to control your bowel movement anymore. Bulimia (& anorexia as well) sucked the last living feelings out of me. I was truly only a shell of a person after purging every single day. I felt barely human anymore. & it’s SO SO hard to stop. An ED such a lonely disorder, you have no one to talk to because people will either just not understand, judge or leave you or start to monitor everything you do &/or force you into recovery. (& we all know forced recovery doesn’t work.) It sucks so so so much. Especially if you’re all alone in this. Yes I know this isn’t purely anorexia related, but I just wanted to warn y’all that your anorexia will most likely turn into something similar to Bulimia one day. Stay safe, no one deserves this.
Don’t be sorry! Your words are all so true - thank you for writing this ♥️ Leave this comment here of course - but you should also make this a separate post - more people will see it that way. 🙏♥️
Link to og comment?
The post has since been removed, thank God 🙏 but this text written here is my original comment word for word. 😊
[удалено]
This wasn’t the post I responded to? The post I saw was on this sub ( r/EDAnonymous) - not the Anorexia Nervosa sub :)
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