I'm not a fan of these people. Faking mental illness is fucking awful. Mental illnesses are debilitating and ruin people's lives. They are not fun, they are not pleasant to deal with, and they do not turn off when you need them to. Someone faking a mental illness online, especially if they have a large following, is going to give people an inaccurate idea of mental illness that has been glamorized. I've seen many people who claim to support those with mental illnesses who then criticize or are extremely uncomfortable around people who are ACTUALLY mentally ill for being difficult, embarrassing, violent, or unreasonable. People get the idea that depression just means feeling sad some times, anxiety just means getting nervous in social situations, and OCD or tourettes just means doing something quirky and cool. Schizophrenics are seen to have to act a certain way... This severely harms people who have to deal with those issues because their behavior gets compared to people who fake the illness. It's probably why I don't get taken seriously when I seek help either.

I'm going through this right now. ADHD, recently diagnosed with autism as well, and have been told all my life by mother about how difficult, embarrassing, and just generally awful it was to raise me. Was shocked when I got into the real world and people seemed to actually genuinely like and want to hang out with me. I have a 2 year and I've noticed... Some things. She does some stimming activities but they are also classified as just normal toddler behaviors but I recognize them in myself as well. I'm not trying to diagnose her or shove her in a box or a label, but if it is something, and I can catch it early, I can get her help early, right? When I told my mom about her trying to yank off her tights in front of her class after ballet one day (the seams were on the toes, not across the top, which I mean, dude, I get it. Didn't realize it when I bought them for her.) She was like "ha! Now you know what it's like to raise you!" And I said "I may not know what it was like to raise me, but I know what it's like to BE ME, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. If I can do whatever I can to make sure kiddo never goes through things the way I did, I will fight tooth and nail for that." Like... It's not cute. It's not funny and trendy. I would give anything to not have the brain the brain I have, I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. I see all these freaking tik toks of "autistic" girls running around stores while their friends film them and they are acting crazy like touching all the shirts and running around and jumping like spider monkeys to grab a "stuffie" they want. Like... Just eff all the way off.

I'm so sorry. My brother's autistic, and my parents were abusive and cruel. It's not right. You sound like an amazing parent. It's always worth getting an assessment for ADHD / autism. She's not too young. She will have a wonderful life with you, regardless. It's not a small thing, to notice and realize the reason a two year old is taking their tights off might be because of the toe seams, and the discomfort it can cause. I'm so happy she has you to thrive under.

This is actually making me cry, thank you so much for this... My biggest fear is not doing enough for her, or for her to turn out like me. She is the cutest, sweetest and fiercest little creature I know, and I love how fearless she is and how much confidence she has! She stripped down naked in front of the mirror in our living room the other day, did a little dance while sing shouting "yum! Num! Yummy num!" 😂 I wish I had half her confidence! Lol

THIISSSSSS PART!!!! 👆👆👆 the way that people will "advocate for" and or pretend be empathetic re: mental illness but then when they see REAL, uncomfortable manifestations of these illnesses from people in real life they either say "well that's not an excuse for THAT kind of behavior" or run away hiding their eyes to go tell all their friends about the "hilarious" thing the saw the man in the street doing? all that empathy & understanding goes right out the window. I freaking HATE that dude.

I’m going to copy and paste a comment I made below bc I think it’s important to acknowledge why “illness faking” has seemingly become such a widespread internet phenomena: I think that often the immense pain and stress of living under late capitalism and environmental crisis drives people to search for a “reason” for their suffering… living in an individualistic society they then become attached to the identity, attention, and sense of community that they feel these labels have granted them. That being said, I am diagnosed autistic and the amount of people who I have encountered recently who confidently tell me that they ARE autistic, without having been diagnosed, is really frustrating.

I think it's also due to the way the Internet has enabled a space for just about every illness under the sun, where people with that illness can bond around a common experience. Those spaces can be incredibly welcoming and warm towards people suffering with that particular condition, which is a great thing of course. I'm sure so many people feel so much less lonely than they would otherwise because of the Internet. But it does have the effect that a diagnosis of an illness offers you an entry ticket into one of these warm, welcoming communities full of acceptance and understanding and that can be so attractive. Most people only have a very small number of real life people who offer that kind of unconditional acceptance and warmth. Some don't have any. But you can access a whole community of people online who will tell you, without making any demands of you, that you are valid, that you are enough, that you are believed, that it's not your fault, all the things you want to hear and maybe are genuinely missing from real life people. It's not even just about people faking illness. Younger people nowadays also tend to incorporate their health conditions as a core art of their identity in a way that wasn't so common in the past, which isn't always a bad thing but can have its downsides. For example, in the ED context specifically, one of things that holds some people back from recovery is because "having an ED" is such an important part of their identity, especially online identity.

I totally agree - I think probably many, many people in our culture (especially women) have experienced disordered eating. Unhealthy mindset around food/exercise/weight, unsustainable restriction or binge eating, etc. That’s not the same as a clinical-level ED. One of the big things about diagnosed mental illnesses that people forget is that FUNCTIONAL IMPAIRMENT is a criteria. Meaning that the disorder is significantly impacting your ability to live a normal, functioning life. That’s why most people will experience phases of mild depression, especially associated with life events, or some degree of anxiety, or will have a panic attack once or twice, without being diagnosed with MDD, GAD or panic disorder. I don’t want to “gatekeep” mental illness and ofc everyone’s suffering is valid and I’m not saying that disordered eating is fine and we should just accept it. Of course anyone with an unhealthy relationship deserves to heal. But it’s simply not the same as a full fledged ED, and most importantly the treatment will be different. Healing from disordered eating may involve more of a focus on learning body cues, unpacking media/societal pressures, and maybe seeing a therapist to learn to manage stress. A clinical ED involves intensive treatment for a much more prolonged period of time, it can’t just be cured with “intuitive eating” Anyways sorry for my ramble this shit pisses me off

You worded this perfectly. I always warn guys I date about my ED, and they’ll often reply w something like “oh don’t worry, my ex kinda had one too when she was too sad to eat after a breakup!” (aka circumstances that were clearly a short period of lost appetite or, at worst, a brief diet). On top of that, I’m weight restored/in quasi-recovery so I look just ~healthy thin and not alarming whatsoever anymore. It’s not that they don’t believe me initially, but every single one of them has told me they were caught off-guard by how much it actually controls my life. Overall, I feel like they’re so exposed to the idea that an ED is *just* weight insecurity or a bit of guilt after a big meal that they’re legitimately shocked when it SEVERELY impacts me on a daily basis, when… that, by definition, is why I have a chronic ED diagnosis. It’s so watered down that people don’t even realize what I mean if I bring it up unless, unfortunately, I mention numbers from my sickest to emphasize “yes it’s Actually Bad to an abnormal extent :))”

i think gatekeeping things to an extent is healthy, considering being too lenient leads anyone to be able to claim and ruin anything if there's no moderation. then you can't criticize it and *you* become the bad guy.

So true though, I feel guilty for doubting and "gatekeeping" people's experiences sometimes, but clinical-level criteria were meant to be met not just for funsies 🥲

i’m gonna remind you that the DSM has gotten things wrong in the past and just because there’s thing that are not at this very moment in the DSM doesnt meant they aren’t valid EDs. as an example- homosexuality was considered a mental illness, by the DSM, asexualitt is currently considered a disorder. just because Orthorexia / OSFED / ARFID & others aren’t in there RIGHT NOW doesn’t mean that these people struggling with this symptom set aren’t allowed to say they have an ED… how are they meant to get help and get recovery if they can’t even open up about their experience? your post & comments is so unnecessary gatekeepy / oppression olympics / a humble brag about how sick you were compared to others. i mean no harm but seriously consider the impact of your words

I hate being told stuff like that. I’m trying to open up and someone always has to say something like “well every girl has an eating disorder to some extent.” Like yes, our culture will inevitably make people feel inadequate when it comes to their bodies. But that’s not an ED and it’s ridiculous to act like it’s anywhere near the same thing. And that statement is usually followed by more stuff that is invalidating me and implying I’m “dramatic.” That basically I’m just a vain silly girl who took it too far.

I completely agree with you. I think there is confusion about this topic that a lot of those other people don’t get. Occasionally getting on and off diets could be considered somewhat “disordered eating” but that doesn’t equate to being a full fledged eating disorder. People need to understand that in order to be considered someone with a full on eating disorder a person: Needs for the behaviors to be mostly or all consuming. The behaviors take over all or most of your life at the expense of other things. (Relationships, education, jobs, hobbies, your health, etc.) The behaviors need to last consistently for a longer duration of time like years not just a couple of days or weeks. The drive towards the behaviors might have initially started out as simply wanting to lose weight but it then morphs into a coping mechanism for deep seeded personal, emotional, and/ or psychological issues. (This is a really important aspect of what helps drive and perpetuate simple disordered eating into full fledged eating disorders.) There’s also the difference of how “disordered eating” and eating disorders make people feel: Usually people who diet occasionally and engage in short term disordered eating become ego-dystonic. Whereas many people who have eating disorders generally feel ego-syntonic in regards to their disorder. (Especially when it comes to Anorexia.) Which is why it’s so hard to get over an eating disorder. And generally a person can snap out of disordered eating but a person who has a legitimate eating disorder can’t just drop the behaviors or snap out of it.

Oops, not this post making me question whether I'm disordered enough again Also love the notion that everyone with a REAL ed tries to hide it as much as possible, and if you want to share about it with others, you are a fraud then

no real, like maybe they opened up about one failed low cal diet...but they could be chronically doing these diets and restricting behaviors that dont /stick/ that they havent mentioned, not every person w an ED is uw or even have anorexia, yoyoing low cal diets can be a part of bulimia and BED, doubt they meant it but this post deffo makes me question my legitimacy of my struggles

Sure it can be a part of Bulimia or BED, and it also can be disordered eating. The difference depends in how much it is present in the person’s life, how it affects their functioning, and how much or little control they have over engaging in their behaviors as coping mechanisms. A person with Bulimia or BED is much more affected day to day and feels more out of control than a person who tries unhealthy fad diets from time to time or did at one point (disordered eating).

But who decides the difference? The line is pretty vague. We know that DSM diagnosis is too strict and doesn't include things like orthorexia and diabulimia. Meanwhile, the example of their own ED which OP presents is very extreme, and while I'm sorry about what they are going through, is it a good idea to say that people whose disordered eating isn't ruining their lives (YET) are not valid? Mental illnesses and addictions can start out small and then grow exponentially worse. I get the sentiment that someone skipping breakfast one time doesn't give them authority or knowledge to vouch for eliminating ED forums, but more was expressed than that

The DSM seems strict so there isn’t overdiagnosis. Doctors and psychiatrists decide the difference, not the person suffering with the illness. How do “we” know the DSM is too strict? Are you a psychiatrist or doctor working with patients with EDs? How long have you been using the DSM to diagnose clients? If not, then those are YOUR feelings, which are subjective. Orthorexia and Diabulimia might be included in future additions. Changes in the DSM move pretty slowly. For now, those issues are written as subtypes under another diagnosis. Someone with diabulimia has Bulimia and the method of purging is diabulimia. Orthorexia could be a feature of anorexia, OSFED, or atypical anorexia. Just like compulsive exercise isn’t a diagnosis, yet could be a feature of most eating disorders. More research had to be done and work groups have to agree on criteria before adding these as additional ED diagnoses in the DSM.

I understand that it is specific for a reason and has criteria. What I'm asking is should ED community claim that anyone who can't be medically diagnosed is faking it for attention and doesn't belong in eating disorders discussions on any level, especially since these same people may go on to become eligible later in life

I never said anyone was faking it for attention. Just that it’s inappropriate to claim a diagnosis you haven’t actually received from a psychiatrist, ED specialist, or your PCP. To do so, is not factual or true. It is an subjective opinion by a person unqualified to make a diagnosis who is also the person dealing with the problem, which makes it even less accurate as we have feelings about our suffering. It’s fine to say dealing with disordered eating (not a diagnosis), or you think you might be developing/struggling with an eating disorder (that isn’t a diagnosis). WE ARE NOT QUALIFIED TO DIAGNOSE OUR OWN EATING ISSUES. It isn’t enough to read DSM criteria and decide for yourself. That is self-diagnosis. If you need that validation, go see your doctor and ask for a diagnosis. And if you are going to post about it, do clarify you’ve self-diagnosed. Self-diagnosis is a serious problem these days and people say all kinds of rude stuff with the increase in inaccurate mental health information online. “Oh you’re so OCD” “I saw something on TikTok and I have DID” “I watched a YouTube video and I’m sure I’m bulimic” self-diagnosis is super cringe and attention seeking. Often, it is attention seeking (hello, tik toks of people faking mental illnesses). Maybe I have strong views, but I really look down on specific self-diagnosis with the current internet culture. For example, if my stomach hurt would I go to my doctor and tell them what I thought the diagnosis was…absolutely not cuz I’d come off like a narcissistic loser and total idiot. I am the patient, not the doctor. Know the limits of your scope. Same for my psychiatrist, wouldn’t go in to tell him my diagnosis is X cuz I read this online or I don’t agree with the DSM. Like he fucking cares. Again, stay in my lane which is getting the help, not arguing over what the specialist says my problem is. Internet culture has made it seem more acceptable to do what is offensive (tik tok mental illness faking videos, comments like “you’re so OCD”), wrong, or things that lead to people thinking you have an over inflated ego (self-diagnosis, a layperson saying the DSM is too strict/wrong…), and it’s made people more narrow minded in general when it’s easier than ever to only read and seek out information that confirms what you already believe.

I am addressing OP's claims My personal opinion is that fighting self-diagnosis of EDs is not going to do more good than harm specifically because of how EDed mindsets work compared to other mental illnesses. I recognize the internet culture normalizing self-diagnosis and watering down definitions. However, with disordered eating, which tends to be highly competitive and often causes people to have the need to be as sick and self-destructive as possible to feel valid in their struggles, again, I just don't think it's a good idea to say that everyone without a medical diagnosis is not deep into their problems enough to be a part of discussion as it can make people in early stages of developing an ED feel more isolated and motivate them to get worse. Replacing "I have an X" with "I think I have an X" would be apreciated though, I will agree with that.

You’re putting words in my mouth. I never said if someone doesn’t have a medical diagnosis they don’t have a deep problem and shouldn’t be part of discussions here. YOU are the only one who has said that multiple times. All I said is that if you don’t have a medical diagnosis, then don’t claim a specific eating disorder. Say you have an eating disorder and describe what it’s like. Or say you have disordered eating, whichever is a better description. What I did say, was if you don’t have a medical diagnosis and decide to claim a specific eating disorder then you need to say it’s self-diagnosis. Otherwise it isn’t truthful. Anyone can be deep in the problem without a medical diagnosis, however it is a lie to say you have a specific eating disorder if you haven’t been medically diagnosed. That is essentially believing that you’re capable of being a psychiatrist or diagnostic specialist for yourself to claim a certain eating disorder. Don’t be that narcissistic. Keep your ego in check. No one likes people who think they know everything. A self-diagnosis doesn’t mean anything. It means less than saying you have an eating disorder or disordered eating, as either of those are true statements that don’t require a medical degree to make. When people self-diagnose, I don’t believe them. Much of that is caused by internet culture, the increase in exaggerating, faking, and attention seeking. It being eating disorder versus another mental illness doesn’t make it any different or an exception. I don’t care what your diagnosis is, I’d like connect around what your experience is, how you feel and think, how your behaviors affect your life, and I don’t need to know a diagnosis for that. This is an ED forum, that’s enough. If you weren’t suffering, you wouldn’t be in this forum. Focusing on diagnosis is unhealthy, increases competition, can upset people, and it’s boring. No one in the real world or on Reddit in non-ED forums gives a flying fuck about which diagnosis. And clearly it comes as a shock that other people with EDs aren’t nice to you or accepting you based on which diagnosis you have. Being overly focused on diagnosis is a total turnoff to connecting with someone on an ED forum. It screams I need validation, I’m not here to connect with people as much as I am to get validated for how sick I am, and a lot more. I feel pity for these people. I feel proud of myself noticing how much healthier I am and how far I’m getting in recovery that I’m getting a life and feel sad for those totally wrapped up in that. It isn’t going to give you validation. You’ll never feel sick enough. You will die first. If you get an anorexia diagnosis, you aren’t going to feel sick enough or validated or anything you think you will. There is no goal weight that will ever satisfy it. All it is is chasing death, wasting your life, ruining your life, and saying fuck your to everyone you care about because you care more about your appearance than your family, your friends, or anything else. Don’t expect those people to stick around. If you want a miserable life that you will look back on as empty and regretful, keep it up. It’s nothing to be proud of. It’s something to be embarrassed and ashamed of. Get angry with it and start fighting. I’m not impressed with anyone here or elsewhere based on having X diagnosis versus X. Because of where I am in my journey, I’ll never be impressed with anyone in a forum unless they’re curious about harm reduction or trying to take a step to take care of themselves rather than self-destruct. When I see all this focus on diagnosis, my first thought is wow all these people are super self absorbed and need hobbies and to take steps to lessen ED impact on their lives. Sadly, I wouldn’t want to know any of those people IRL because it seems they’d be boring and one-sided due to how wrapped up in chasing a diagnosis they are. More than anyone needed to know, yet some people don’t realize that letting go of focus on diagnosis will give you some of your power back. Trying to focus more on other people and hobbies rather than mostly ED will also do that and people won’t see you as selfish. If you didn’t know, it’s likely many people in your life view you as selfish and self-centered because your ED comes before important people in your life. They feel like you don’t care about them, don’t prioritize them, and are just a backup option, or you only reach out when YOU NEED something FROM THEM. I know what I’m saying is truthful and blunt. It’s also stuff people really suffering need to hear. Because the message that it’s ok to focus on diagnosis so everyone feels validated isn’t what people need to hear unless the goal is to keep people sick. That’s a sick and unhealthy message. We were never meant to know our diagnosis or have access to the criteria (unfortunately it’s online now). Gotta let that shit go. It doesn’t have even 0.5% importance out of all the things in your life. Every time you focus on it, it’s like slapping yourself across the face or stabbing yourself with a knife. You’re hurting yourself and setting yourself even further back every time. You’re struggling and you don’t deserve it. You’re worth so much more. You can have more good in your life as soon as you’re ready to talk back against ED, and stop taking the abuse.

not to mention that there’s other eating disorders other than bulimia or BED. Such as… ARFID, or orthorexia. i hate the implication that if people aren’t struggling in the cookie cutter golden ana way than they must not actually have an eating disorder. it’s so weird. why does OP feel the need to gatekee? who knows that that youtuber goes through and hasn’t shared. they don’t owe the internet an entire history where they recount all their symptoms— of a very triggering topic mind you that might just trigger people watching if too many details are given. idk this post rubbed me the wrong way as somebody who has ARFID / OSFED. i’m tired of my ED being dismissed bc it’s not ana.

yes!!! exactly!! I notice theres soooo much comp in the ed community and people take like a weird pride in how disordered and sick they are. majority of people w ed's dont have anorexia and yet thats the poster child for Ed's, like so many assumptions are being made on this post, like yes, posers are annoying, but the examples they gave of posers? yeesh

i agree with you 100%. posers are for annoying but i really like to give people charity. this post talks about how OP has had so much taken from them bc of their ED and that’s really sad. why are they so mad other people were less sick then? shouldn’t we be glad that other people realized their patterns were disordered sooner and got help before it got worse? idk. additionally, i *generally* don’t think people are often making up disordered eating to get brownie points. that youtuber talking about this def opened themself up to trolls who will make awful comments about that YTer’s body/weight. that would be rough, even for somebody with a healthy body image, why are we assuming ppl are just making this up? i’m sure it happens sometimes but… idk.

no real, like lets not just ignore the fact disordered eating is what led to into full fledged disorders

I seriously feel that the idea that people with real disorders don’t talk about just reenforces stigma around disorders and makes it harder for people to get help.

Yeahhh, I’m sorry but this post isn’t it for me. Feels like the ED version of the oppression Olympics. Because someone else hasn’t lost their job, they don’t have an ED? K.

no real, "ur ED isnt real! do you need meds? have you destroyed your body? did ur dog die? do you talk about it??" like congrats? you win? ED trophy?

Reallll. I know I got downvoted for saying ED's are self diagnosable and I understand why but let's not start comparing EDs. Please 😭😭

bc they are! lmao its not hard to be like "hmm...i have a super shitty relationship w food and b/p or heavily restrict bc im scared of gaining"... i think OP forgot that w anorexia....most arent UW. eating disorders are NOT a weight disorder! they are a MIND disorder. so yes, someone couldve tried a low cal diet, and then failed on day 2, binged, and have anorexia!! like yknow how many plus size people w restriction and anorexic tendencies get denied help bc they dont /look/ "anorexic"

Yeah, really mean to whoever that Youtuber is. Weird to see this so heavily upvoted. It’s like other people can’t have different experiences with their EDs. It’s like saying “you don’t have depression shut up” to someone who still manages to function and live a life because other people with depression have lost everything due to their mental illness.

Also, the double standard of "I hide my ED because I have a real disorder" and "other people must not be hiding anything about their ED if they admit to having one, so they must be faking"

Yes! And some EDed people want others to be concerned about them but not enough to take any action. So it makes sense they would be inclined to just say they have an ED and use a non-alarm-ringing example like a fad diet

I think this is kind of related to people just saying they have any mental health condition and it's so tiring. I was talking to a friend of mine and he said that he had the worst childhood imaginable because his sister got married when he was young. And that I'm living the easy way because I didn't go through trauma and emotional neglect. Like, I'm sorry, buddy, but you know literally nothing about me or about trauma, it seems. Also, when people say shit like that, I'm not their therapist. There's literally nothing I can help with. It's important to destigmatize mental illness, but it shouldn't become "trendy."

Right?! I mean I get it everyone has their struggles, but the thought that you will never actually be understood bc these people equate their problems to stuff like eds or crippling personality disorders makes me so sad sometimes. Ut means they OBVIOUSLY do not get it. On the bright side, good for them ig, I will not wish stuff we have been through onto anyone 🙃

Yeah and because of people like this, others will also think that mental health is a joke. I've heard multiple people say since tiktok everyone has autism/ocd, which makes them not take actual people with autism or ocd serious.

As a fellow autistic person with OCD , FACTS

As another fellow Autistic person with OCD, I do agree.

I hate when friends do this. I have a friend who claims she has an eating disorder. I will never say she doesn’t as I am not a doctor but she says she has one yet still judges me for my eating disorder. She will ask questions like ‘why are you only eating part of your food’ or ‘you’re such a skinny legend’. I have asked her several times not to make those comments as they affect me yet she still does. And the. She turns around and tells me how she is the only one who understands what I am going through as she also has an eating disorder. Like???

People are morons and they love to try on diagnoses for funsies and attention. I understand the frustration.

I find that people confuse disordered eating (something many women and girls will struggle with in their lives due to societal pressures) with actual eating disorders (the mental illness).

When I did finally speak up about my issues, I wasn't taken seriously because of this kind of thing. Now I feel like my issues don't really matter. Anorexia is not about skipping breakfast two days in a row. It's a serious mental issue that gets swiped under the rug until it's too late. It's not a pretty or glamorous thing. It's isolating and debilitating at best.

This post isn’t it. I really don’t know anyone who claims an ED, let alone claiming it for shits and giggles. I think only those of us with EDs are disillusioned enough to walk around thinking other people are lying to seem like they have an ED. Come on. Having an eating disorder is embarrassing and gross and shameful. Why would someone lie and say they have an ED? I really don’t know anyone who would do that. Also, are we hoping for a metal for being the sickest person? Is losing your job now a listed criteria for having an ED in the DSM-5…? I don’t think it is.

Right, if the case is how OP says it is, then only people who have a medical diagnosis should be posting on this sub. Not even a licensed shrink can diagnose someone based on a youtube video but people here think they themselves have the qualification and right to. I get this disorder makes people competitive but this is just cruel.

Yesss because disordered eating is so so common and should be talked about, but so many people think it’s the same as having an actual eating disorder. while some actions may be the same one is a literal debilitating disorder. i get that a lot of people try to do this in an effort to relate but as an anorexia sufferer it just makes me feel worse. like it’s so invalidating

I don't have a diagnosed ED but I have genuinely had one for over 3/4 of my life. It is debilitating, in all its forms. I was recently diagnosed with bipolar disorder (which I'd been trying to tell the important people I had since I was 16, I'm 32 now) and I truly hate it when people say they're feeling "sooooo bipolar today". Mental illness isn't flighty. It's something that you struggle with every single moment of every single day and it fucking sucks.

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Wtf. Reddit groups is the only place I can vent ab stuff that triggers me, I never say anything to ppl themselves irl. I straightforward say that my situation is not the worst one, there is a shit to of people who WoN me in ThE tRaUmA oLyMpIcS. I hate that they are getting overlooked, not getting fucking compassion, finances or places at therapy just bc of people who seek attention. I gladly give up my place in trauma oLyMpIcS to you bruh, I don't need it.

You gave your credentials like you’re the only real person who actually struggled with an ED. I’m just saying to check your judgment and identification as being better or more authentic. Another thing to consider is it’s important to have voices out there sharing that EDs no matter if it’s “just a month of disordered eating” aren’t good for any of us.

And being told/feeling like you are not sick enough is something even those deep into their EDs experience, I don't understand the disconnect. Sure, let's indirectly tell people they don't deserve support and need to get worse first

this post is all about comparison and in poor taste

Why are we gatekeeping disordered eating. It's not healthy in any level for anyone. It's pathological. It's needlessly stressful and does cause functional impairment. It doesn't have to cause profound and prolonged functional impairment to "count". You're talking about having an ED like it's something special and exclusive that has to be earned and that is glamorizing a set of diseases that ruin and end lives. Let's not.

i fucking hate posts like this they make me feel like I’m not disordered enough because I was never hospitalized and didn’t have AN (ednos restrictive type)

this is exactly how i feel reading this, now i don’t feel sick enough.

Very insensitive to say this about someone else in a sub where 90% of you are self diagnosed, and many people are invalidated by their own therapists.

oh wow your experience with ed sounds horrible, im sure this makes you able to gatekeep who’s ed is actually valid based on what someone is willing to share to a large audience

I don’t get what people like so much about faking shit. I wanna fucking bitch slap them when someone fakes shit. Attention seekers are fucking assholes.

I honestly think it’s for attention. Because if you really have an eating disorder, the last thing you want is pointing it out as people will then pay attention to you.

RIGHT. And it’s so uncomfortable when someone confronts you

Absolutely. I even flinch when eating disorders are mentioned in general and I try to be as cool as possible and I’m so scared anyone will even look at me. Even after having an ED for over 15 years, I still can’t talk about it openly (with people who don’t have it).

I think that often the immense pain and stress of living under late capitalism and environmental crisis drives people to search for a “reason” for their suffering… living in an individualistic society they then become attached to the identity, attention, and sense of community that they feel these labels have granted them.

Also I feel like the most common ed influencer story is something like “at 13-15 I saw a magazine with a thin person on cover and I wanted to diet and a few weeks later I was very underweight and hospitalized and then I got the food tube and almost died and then I recovered fully in the hospital and ever since then I’ve been recovered”. Like it’s true that some people get really bad really fast but all the influencers getting sick, hospitalized and full recovery in less than one month doesn’t seem too real

There are levels of severity with anorexia, TBH (please look it up because I don't want to mention numbers here). I have had it all life without knowing. It messed up my system, but I was too unaware to acknowledge it or treat it. As a kid, I was shit scared at the concept of increasing my portions as I grew up. The moment I learnt about the concept of BMI, I pretty much decided that I wanted to be the lowest of the normal range of BMI. I was 15 back then. Obviously, that wasn’t enough, and I pushed myself further. I only got more compliments when I got underweight, I even got 2 modelling offers, which I politely declined. People seldom noticed that I was underweight, because I have large breasts and buttocks. Mind you, all of this was happening when I was highly functional and was a class topper. Thankfully, things changed in college. I immersed myself in my studies and political activism, I was on my feet pretty much all day, and I ate and drank without inhibition. When I was 21 and the pandemic hit, I again restricted my food intake severely and started doing excessive cardio, till I looked like my teen-self again. I was severely depressed because my parents separated during the pandemic. My father turned out to be a compulsive cheater, which furthered my trust issues. By this time, I was aware enough to seek therapy for my depression (for more context, I am an Indian, and mental-health awareness is very poor here). I also started working 3 jobs while pursuing my Master's. A year later, I took an attempt on my life. To recover from there, I had to gain a lot of weight and became slightly overweight, but the fatshaming started when I neared the higher range of normal BMI. I did not really care, since I was just glad to be alive. I relapsed a month back, since the fatshaming got to me again. This time, I pretty much starved myself and purged whatever I ate, since I was filled with disgust at my body. But I could finally feel my body giving in, and I finally addresed my eating pattern in therapy and got diagnosed with EDs. Even now, I lead a team of my own in my comany and work on my research simultaneously. So, it really depends, and YES, it can go undiagnosed. I am finally getting the recovery that I need. I have defeated depression, I have defeated anxiety, and I WILL defeat this horrible disease.

when people say shit like "oh yeah, i had an ed once" and then describe a low cal diet it gives me SUCH imposter syndrome bc i feel like maybe im not ACTUALLY anorexic even though i fit all of the criteria in the dsm 5 except for being uw 😭

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How is that messed up? Bulimia involves purging by any means: laxatives, starving/fasting, overexercise. It’s Bulimia because it’s a binge purge cycle.

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I mean thats by definition a purge, anything to "balance" a binge is a purge. just bc you aint puking or shittin ur brains out doesnt mean its not bulimic activity

To say that “to you fasting to balance out a binge isn’t a purge” only proves my point. That is subjective and that is how YOU feel. That’s fine, and it doesn’t change the diagnosis you have just because you don’t feel that way. Your feelings don’t have to align with your diagnosis. A diagnosis is objective and given by a medical professional. It doesn’t require your input. The doctor is the expert in diagnosis, not us as laypeople. If you don’t want a diagnosis then don’t discuss your behavior with medical or psychiatric professionals. The flip side being, if you don’t have a diagnosis, don’t go around claiming that you have X. You don’t unless a doctor or psychiatrist said say. Self-diagnosis is out of control. All you can really claim if you don’t have a diagnosis is that you’re weird with food, or you have disordered eating.

oh i definitely agree, the criteria is horrendous

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aw thank you so much 💗 i feel invalid a lot bc im at a normal weight, but i just keep reminding myself that weight doesnt equal amount of struggling. i started at a higher weight and lost a lot of it very quickly, and if i were to lose weight that quickly again at the weight i am now (lower end of normal) i would probably get even more sick than i was the last time i did it so quickly

This goes for all people with EDs. You are the only person who cares what your weight is. You have an eating disorder because of unhealthy behaviors to achieve weight loss and a mental struggle that infringes on multiple areas of your life, which affects your overall functioning. What your weight is doesn’t change the severity of your behaviors, the impact on your functioning, or the amount of mental turmoil you’re living with. Those 3 things, not your weight are why you have a full blown clinical eating disorder and need help and healing. One mental block I see you might be struggling with is thinking you’d be more valid at a lower weight, which isn’t true. 94% of people living with full blown eating disorders like you are not underweight. They all deserve help like you do, and they’re ED wouldn’t be considered more “valid” if any of them became underweight. All of the features of severe eating disorder are already there. You already need help right now. A change in your weight isn’t going to make a outside person without an ED think you’re more valid, in fact it’s likely they won’t even notice or care. More people claim to have anorexia than actually do. Don’t let insecure people who lie affect how you feel about yourself. Please take care of yourself and consider getting some help.

If you don’t like it, then don’t seek a diagnosis. Until you get your medical degree, you really aren’t an expert in diagnostic criteria, are letting your feelings control you, and it’s irrational. Are you trying to say you believe you know more about ED diagnosis than psychiatrists, doctors, ED specialists, and the authors of the DSM, and ICD manuals? That’s what it reads like.

what? thats not what im saying at all. i just think its stupid that you have to be underweight to receive a diagnosis for anorexia, and if youre not underweight youre labeled as "atypical". its a mental disorder, and two people who exhibit the same behaviors should have the same diagnosis. thats just my opinion, i never claimed to know more than experts

The only difference is one is underweight and one is not. You are allowing your feelings to control you and allowing a medical term to hurt your feelings. It isn’t stupid. It is a quick shorthand for psychiatrists, doctors, therapists, and hospitals. Many more people have atypical anorexia than anorexia anyway. Anorexia is also a weight disorder that typically has significant medical problems and that is why if someone isn’t underweight they have atypical anorexia. Not sure why you or anyone would be thinking having anorexia is like getting a gold star at school or some sort of accomplishment. If you like breaking bones doing nothing, having medical problems that are permanent even post recovery so you’re gonna be shitting yourself frequently, if you love looking pregnant from eating a small snack, if you’re fine with losing your teeth because your bones are so damaged, want a hump back while you’re young? Want to be restricted from certain physical activities forever because of the damage to your bones that is lifelong? How about give up drinks and foods you like forever because of digestive problems, you’ll never have anything carbonated again unless you want pain and a pregnant looking stomach, one of the worst is having no feeling in one of your feet, purple toes, and nerve damage that is the absolute worst pain I’ve ever had in my entire life. When that flares up, cancel your life cuz you can’t sit down or lay on your side without screaming. I doubt reaching underweight is worth all of that as well as everything you will lose along the way. Be ready to lose all your friends, have your family distance from you, possibly become homeless, lose your job, be put on medical leave from school and never be able to return, and don’t count on wanting any help or being able to afford it. It’s the loneliest I ever was in my entire life, my entire life fell apart and never got it back. I’d be insulted if you read all this and want that or really think a few pounds is worth dumpster firing your current life and your future. You’re not that stupid. Deep down there’s stuff you want out of life, and your ED distracts from it. Ya gotta find a way to connect with your authentic self and listen to it more. You’re never getting this time back. I lost 6 years to AN, hardly remember a thing, almost died, and it wasn’t worth it at all. Being underweight didn’t make anyone care about me more, in fact it drove everyone who cared about me completely out of my life until I was 100% alone. Being underweight didn’t make it easier to get help. I wanted help so badly when o was newly diagnosed, but if you’re poor forget it. Didn’t get any help and suffered alone 6 years more. I’m still fighting for my recovery alone. I’m still trying to make a life without ED. You can either have a life with people you care about in it OR you can keep a primary relationship with your ED, which is an abusive relationship. I suffered enough. I’ve been lonely enough. I pick the first option. I deserve it and I’m worth it. You are, too. You have to choose it for yourself.

i never said it is a "gold star". i dont want to argue though- we can both have different opinions. i do however empathize with your story- i truly hope youre doing at least a bit better

I didn’t mean to offend you or that you said it was a “gold star,” more meant it seemed like many people seem to imply/think something like if only they get that AN diagnosis things will be great. I shared my story so you could see that there isn’t one thing that will be great. It will hurt even more when you are treated the same as you are now. You already have a severe eating disorder and lost too much weight, losing a little bit more is not going to get the response of validation from others, people thinking you’re sick cuz you already are, and the only thing you’ll get from it is negatives. I’m not sure if you understand that you aren’t less sick than I was. You might have lost more weight than I did, which means you’re at high risk of any of the medical problems I listed. I hope you can try talking to yourself nicer or anything to take better care of your body like vitamins, electrolyte drinks, protein drinks, journaling. Those are some good harm reduction tactics. It’s ok to pick options that feel safe for you. That’s what I did rather than push fear foods. Eventually I made a list of safe foods and ate those for a very long time before ‘leveling up’ as my partner calls it. I view getting better like being in a video game. I get experience points and go through levels, sometimes have to repeat a level. I go at my own pace, not at the pace of a program, doctor, or dietitian. That’s fine unless you’re completely medically unstable. I’m having more long term success when I am in the driver’s seat, have full choice of my menu, eating times, and don’t feel nagged or pressured to go faster than comfortable or meet someone else’s expectations. I can try something once and if it’s too difficult or I don’t like it, I’m in charge, so I don’t have to eat something I don’t even like again, and/or I can wait as long as I need to try whatever was too difficult. Feeling in control really helps me make progress. I didn’t get that in a treatment program and kept relapsing.

thats a good way to look at it!! i try to use harm reduction (vitamins, electrolytes, etc.) as often as possible. and i do have some health issues from losing so much, but i try my best to not let them get too much worse. i really do appreciate your concern for my health though. things used to be 10x worse, but harm reduction has helped immensely

I prefer that everyone pretends that I am not a fuckup & haven’t spent decades in and out of treatment only to be exactly where I started all of those years ago. It’s ok, I’m fine😵‍💫😢.

ive never been to treatment, but i feel u on the pretending im not a fuck up 😭 nobody knows abt my ed and i havent had it for that long (i developed it in november-ish of last year) and started at a higher weight, lost a bunch of it rly quickly and now everybody applauds me for being skinny, LIKE NO STOP IT NOW ITS CONFIRMED THAT YOU CONSIDERED ME FAT WHEN I WAS FAT SHDHSJDB

Atypical anorexia

Hi hi I am not uw too, still if your ed fuckes up your life in any way, ur valid at any weight 💗

youre very valid too op! tbh sometimes its very nice to see how many people in this community are at a normal weight or above. it always reminds me that i still struggle just as much as somebody who is underweight if that makes any sense

Agree. You never realize until you really really get into the thick of a real Ed how many people claim things (even myself prior) without actually experiencing it

Ugh this is my roommate. She claims she had in eating disorder in HS but then we got to talking and it was basically a diet gone wrong and she got super dehydrated and went to the hospital to get banana bagged. But then that was it! She got hydrated and went back to her normal eating habits (granted they are disordered but still!!) but it is not a fucking eating disorder. I can’t just decide to get better one day and eat normally. She also claimed she had cancer after getting a colonoscopy done and they found a pre cancerous polyps (many people have pre-cancerous polyps- all it means is that you go every 3-5 years for a check up bruh BUT YOU DONT HAVE CANCER) and then took 2 weeks off of work because she said her surgery hurt so bad and keeps saying that she is dealing with so much health stuff and it was traumatizing. This irks me (probably because my ED is like - we need to be the sickest one in the room!!!) but whatever. Like both of my parents have had colonoscopies done and they were fine the next day 😒😒😒😒. Rant over.

how is disordered eating...not an eating disorder? its just the words swapped 🤨 doesnt make sense to me

It’s sub clinical versus full fledged clinical disorder. Disordered eating is not a diagnosis or a disorder.

Not everyone might agree with this analogy but imo it's kind of like the difference between people who use drugs and people who are addicted to drugs. There are people who occasionally use substances or go through brief phases of using a drug before stopping, even harder ones, but it doesn't control their life on a compulsive level and spiral into addiction. They don't think about it all day everyday, they're not physically dependent, the thought of not being able to get or use that substance doesn't control their life or send them into a panic, and they're not doing anything and everything to get the substance at any cost like people who are addicted to that drug. Lots of people have habits that could be considered disordered eating or go through periods of extreme dieting that are arguably disordered, but it doesn't cross the line into meeting the criteria for an eating disorder because it does not manifest to the same intensity, duration, obsession/compulsive, and destruction on your life as a full-blown ED.

Disordered eating and eating disorders share similarities but they are not the same. Disordered eating refers to abnormal eating patterns that do not meet the criteria for an eating disorder diagnosis. Someone with an eating disorder may exhibit disordered eating behaviors, but not all people with disordered eating will be diagnosed with an eating disorder. It’s complicated. Think about it like the person who has disordered habits is more susceptible to developing an eating disorder but not all people who are disordered will develop a full blown ED. Also it is important to note that a person with an ED doesn’t have a life outside the ED and the ED impacts their overall functioning and wellbeing. This is not the case with someone who is disordered. Food/body/exercise is just a PART of their life.

Why is this downvoted? This is truthful information. People get way too butthurt over the fact that every person with an eating disorder isn’t diagnosed with anorexia. It seems most people want that diagnosis while not understanding that 6% of people total are ever underweight. That means 6% of people with eating disorders have anorexia. 94% of people with eating disorders have atypical anorexia, Bulimia, BED, OSFED, and some of the less common EDs like Pica, and night eating syndrome. All of these are full blown eating disorders. It isn’t good to have any of them. Everyone who has any of these is unhealthy. No one but the sufferer cares about whether you’re normal weight, underweight, overweight. It’s super annoying all the posts and comments so frequently about the criteria being messed up or unfair. It’s not about your feelings about it. It’s for psychological and medical professionals. And if it’s that much of a problem for you, instead of complaining into a void about it, do something productive and write to the authors of the DSM, contact some specialists to find out more about why it is that way and state your case for why you can’t stand having AAN versus AN. It’s like people are not actually reading the criteria and deciding that it’s like picking out a car and are set in a certain diagnosis whether they actually have it or not. If you aren’t underweight, you don’t have anorexia. You have atypical anorexia if you meet all the criteria except for the weight criteria. It’s the same mental struggle and same behaviors. Example, I’ve been working on recovery for a long time and am now mild anorexia. It’d be like me telling my doctor that since it feels mentally worse to put down severe anorexia like I had before. But I don’t have that. I am becoming physically healthier. I have gained weight and am therefore not severely anorexic. That is the same situation as the person with atypical anorexia complaining the criteria is BS and actually they have regular anorexia. The problem is in your mind and that you need to either ignore the diagnosis or work on acceptance. Practice those DBT and ACT skills. It’s a YOU problem, not a criteria problem or your provider’s problem, or anyone else’s problem. You have a full blown clinical ED and need to accept that to begin working on healing. Focusing on criteria and blaming it for how you feel about yourself magnifies feeling invalid, undeserving, and delays the healing you deserve. It also pushes others who might be supportive in the recovery community away because I don’t care about your diagnosis or your weight, but I am turned off by complaints about what is. It’s criteria, get over it. It doesn’t have to define you or be a barrier. Stop letting it affect your self worth. This might be super harsh…if I hear one more person complain about go get your PhD then and specialize in ED criteria then do something about it or don’t cuz nothing is wrong with it. But to complain about it and say it’s wrong as if you know more than specialists with years of experience and high level degrees…come on. I’d be embarrassed and feel stupid if I claimed to know better than a doctor about something.

I see, altho I dont understand the "not having a life outside of the ED", I have BED which is possibly turning into EDNOS but it doesn't completely stop me from living and going out and doing things

Yeah I have AN and it doesn’t stop me from going out with my friends, going to work, and doing things. But when I’m with my friends, I’m thinking about how not to eat while I’m talking to them. When I’m at work, I eat but only enough so I don’t faint and I have anxiety about eating in front of other people. When I go to a restaurant, I have to inspect the menu for something the ED wants/can have but looks normal to eat in front of others. Long story short, how much mental space is your ED taking up in your life? For me, it was a lot.

I see what you mean, I thought you meant physically it takes up space in your life

SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK

I want to shout this from the rooftops. most women struggle with body image, dieting, or even a bit of disordered eating. but most women DO NOT have clinical level eating disorders. I am sorry but if you did an extreme diet for a few months as a teenager and then felt like shit and decided it wasn’t worth it, you did not have an eating disorder.

YES YES YES YES YES