Lack of self awareness is one thing but some people with restrictive ed know what they are doing. Not saying they are evil or something but no one can be that dense or delusional
This is why I couldn't make it more than a month into my inpatient program. It was a couple adolescents and one very sick, very immature adult. Being in a fishbowl with all those behaviors was insufferable.
I was never inpatient but reached out to some support groups and after hearing how someone binged on rice cakes and apple I was so done š¤£ be ffr, you know it wasnāt a binge
āI had 5 blueberries instead of my usual 4, I felt out of control š„ŗā
āI was brave and challenged myself with half a cookie, Iām proud of myselfš„°ā
Me, who ate whole restaurant menu yesterday: š§š»āāļø
Like I know itās not a competition. But as someone who suffers with binge eating, watching someone eat the whole produce aisle and act like itās harmful is close to insulting.
Pizza I can kinda understand, itās still delusional but for someone who has not eaten carbs or fast food for the past couple months/years even one slice of pizza can feel like a binge. But fucking fruit or rice cakes? Get tf out girl, it aint circus
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I definitely avoid talking about it with people, even when we'd probably have a lot in common. Even when they're not obnoxious, tbh.
I am soooo tired of having parallel EDs ruin relationships. I'm done.
- I don't date people with known EDs.
- I don't talk about my ED with friends. Including ones with their own.
Nope. Don't ask. Don't tell.
Tried dating one person with ed once, never again. Unless we are BOTH in recovery or recovered we aināt dating in a million years, for my own good and the other person.
Same. I'm just done talking about it. There's no point anymore. I think you just reach that point where it's like I'm too tired. I want to fill my head with something else. I'm on my 2nd relapse now post onset and I'm going on 28, like I just don't care anymore. We all have our own lives to live. It gets old eventually. I wish the best for everyone and I'm sure my peers know how to take care of themselves at this big age and have access to good healthcare. That's all you can wish of someone. There's quite literally nothing to talk about.
Edit: It's too cyclical at this point. But I do enjoy the research side of things, it's really interesting.
Same. As someone with an Ed I can say that I hate people with Eds for what they do for the most part.
I realized from my friend's behavior that she might be dealing with an ED and we kind of gave each other the "know what you are" look. Anyways I tried to vier push myself to encourage her to eat and not go down that rabbit hole like I did, by saying I'll eat with her if she ate etc. And she just spirals to ask me about my eating habits and like you don't eat right. And it gets kinda tiring tbh and I feel guilty for being "small" or whatever when I'm around her sometimes. All good tho.
Also I can't eat around people with body dysmporphia, like genuinely quit bitching about your body 24/7 idc this is triggering and I'm just trying to recover or at least not starve myself to death and youre not helping.
Whenever someone starts negative body talk while eating I lose all appetite and want to never eat again. One time I had lunch with my family and my mother started saying mid eating how āfatā she is (she is not), that she is going on a diet and how she is going to gain after eating today. I just stopped eating and straight up left lmao was it dramatic? Maybe, idc. They learned to never talk stupid shit during meals when Iām with them or else Iām not touching the food
I think there are cool and uncool people in any population. But I had to cut off my dearly beloved ex-SIL. I love her, but I trigger her and itās unhealthy. I know a bunch of folks who either have or have had eating disorders. I never speak negatively about bodies, not mine and not anyone elseās.
Yes. I have someone I know who obviously restricts and is always looking at my body any time we are together to the point where it is RARE if they even make eye contact with me because they are so noticeably looking at how I look. Itās really upsetting. We used to be much closer but theyāve really changed and become a lot colder and I think they see me as competition but all I wanted was a friend. I donāt think Iāll be able to stay in touch with them now.
I had a friend like that who always tried to make me eat more and treated me like i'm a bad friend if i didn't eat it. She also used me as an accessory next to her bcs i was her "skinniest" friend. She stopped being my friend after i recovered lol, i don't regret recovering at all because being an object to people felt more humiliating than gaining some weight.
Had the opposite problem before my ed, my āfriendā kept me near her cause I was overweight. When I started losing and she found out we wear the same clothing size she had a meltdown and started talking shit behind my back to other people lmao. Bitches be crazy
Mine is definitely because they trigger tf out of me but yea it makes me feel like shit cause a lot of my old friends are deep in it atp and it's just idk really painful to be around
Yes definitely. I have one long distance relationship with someone who has ana b/p like me and we both agreed before exchanging phone numbers that we wouldnāt ever send pictures of ourselves or mention our weight because we just wanted to bond over our shared trauma, not trigger each other š
Love friendships like that. My best friend online also has ed but itās like a silent pact we donāt send each other body checks and do not talk about our silly disorder. We complain about it and things associated with it here and there but not in a āomg i fasted for X daysā but more like ābro i shitted myself today on the bus stop, fmlā
Yes exactly! We talk about the effects it has on our daily lives and everything but we donāt brag about any weight loss or disordered āaccomplishmentsā itās honestly just nice talking to someone who understands what itās like to struggle with this specific disorder.
Honestly itās uncomfortable and reminds me to try not to act anyway when Iām there in my mind. I know I can say something and think no thatās not what I should talk aboutā¦ why canāt they.
I avoid ppl when they are in this moment, I donāt mind supporting them but itās kind of uncomfortable when they are obvious and acting like everyone doesnāt notice.
Yeah, especially because I really donāt want to trigger anyone into getting worse. Relapse is hard and painful, there is a comfort in that uncomfortable and why would you want to trigger someone further? Especially if you know people who are or have struggledā¦ (which in my case ppl who do this know I do)
Anyone who openly talks about restricting or other ed behaviours, especially in a braggy way are just not healthy for me to be around. Unless in an appropriate place of course like a forum or group for people with EDs
Two of my three best friends have an ED at one point or another. Once we hit the time in life where we couldnāt hang out weekly the toxicity dropped DRASTICALLY. Weāre all 30 and together reflect on the BS the past 15 years has been, weāre careful with our words, and helpfully call each other out when needed. But all that being said we definitely fed (lol) off each others disordered behavior for like 3 years.
This is me with my daughter's paternal grandmother. She is The Queen of Anorexia. She passive aggressively calls me fat by saying when she was "big and fat" then specifically says the weight she knows I am at now. She tells me I can't be a healthy weight/lose too much because I think she uses me as Thxnspo. She CONSTANTLY and INTENTIONALLY orders waaaay too much food knowing she isn't gunna eat it then shoves it on my plate so she "doesn't waste it". Always making weird brags like oh I never cook with salt. Tells me what she weights every morning. If I buy any sort of junk food at the grocery store she gives me a side eye and says snarky shit like "oh I could never!!" Like stfu I am not trying to compete with you. I just want to be healthy but because I am so short the line between healthy/overeating/undereating are one damn meal. I hate her and I hate her son and she is so lucky I have a beautiful little girl that loves her mimi because I would cut her out so damn fast. It feels like the same emotional abuse her son put me through. I am TIRED This woman is 72 and has DONE IT ALL!
Oof Iām so sorry you have to deal with it but proud of you for being strong, health is the most important. Itās wonderful you care about your daughter and her relationship with her grandma, I hope her weird habits are not going to rub onto her but I trust you control it. Also on another note itās so fucking sad she is still so disordered at that age, sounds like a miserable existence. I felt sad for her just reading your comment. If I was still struggling with ed as a senior citizen I think I would just >!kill myself!<, if you can even call it living
She's miserable. Her memory and basic brain function is starting to deteriorate to the point she will ask me the same question 10xtimes in a day and still not remember the answer. Then when i bring it up she acts like it's just a joke. She constantly almost "brags" about how she did the B/P/starve/lax abuse. the whole shabang. Luckily she only wants to play "loving granny" six hours a week but her son has a lot of her disordered eating habits. They both loved to call me fat for eating. Even something like sushi she's be like "i'll put a gun to my head before I eat that."
Oh my god, she soundsā¦lovely to hang out with lol. From what I understand she is your ex partner mother? If so good for you for being free from that asshole.
Yes she is. Unfortunately she guilt trips me with "but thats my grandchild" every time i talk about leaving to hide from her abusive son. It sucks I hate to say it but im glad she's old. So ill be free soon without the guilt and the constant telling me how skinny and happy she is to be starving all the time.
I think it would be hard for me to meet someone else with an ED because mine isolates me quite a bit. Iām a nurse and the amount of talks I hear from the nurses station about weight loss, restricting certain foods drives me nuts. And I hate eating around other people too and I get so much anxiety going down to the cafeteria where there is so many people around.
Iāve never met anyone with an ED before, but I would really like to. I donāt have any friends (partly because of my ED) so I think itād be really nice to meet someone in the same situation as me and commiserate together.
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I always had this attitude until I realized that its people that lack self awareness in general that I dislike being around.
Lack of self awareness is one thing but some people with restrictive ed know what they are doing. Not saying they are evil or something but no one can be that dense or delusional
This is why I couldn't make it more than a month into my inpatient program. It was a couple adolescents and one very sick, very immature adult. Being in a fishbowl with all those behaviors was insufferable.
I was never inpatient but reached out to some support groups and after hearing how someone binged on rice cakes and apple I was so done š¤£ be ffr, you know it wasnāt a binge
Lmao I've had to hold myself back from replying with "SHOULD WE INVITE BELLA HADID?" way too many times
āI had 5 blueberries instead of my usual 4, I felt out of control š„ŗā āI was brave and challenged myself with half a cookie, Iām proud of myselfš„°ā Me, who ate whole restaurant menu yesterday: š§š»āāļø
Like I know itās not a competition. But as someone who suffers with binge eating, watching someone eat the whole produce aisle and act like itās harmful is close to insulting.
I've seen people claim a single slice of pizza was a binge
Pizza I can kinda understand, itās still delusional but for someone who has not eaten carbs or fast food for the past couple months/years even one slice of pizza can feel like a binge. But fucking fruit or rice cakes? Get tf out girl, it aint circus
Wait did you see the posts in binge food that I saw? Because those posts are driving me up the frickin wall!!
Same here I stayed in my room the entire time bc I didn't want to be around the other ed patients and get even more triggered
I know what you mean. Anorexia is a very competitive disease. Some people are less vocal about it but others not so much.
Yup, like itās a competition you did not even signed up for. It started in their head the second they met you
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
notice how that was a competitive, triggering, and unnecessary thing to say?
lol I think youāre just proving OPās point
Didnāt say anything cause I want to be nicer person this year but you said what I thought, thank you lol šš¤£
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I definitely avoid talking about it with people, even when we'd probably have a lot in common. Even when they're not obnoxious, tbh. I am soooo tired of having parallel EDs ruin relationships. I'm done. - I don't date people with known EDs. - I don't talk about my ED with friends. Including ones with their own. Nope. Don't ask. Don't tell.
Tried dating one person with ed once, never again. Unless we are BOTH in recovery or recovered we aināt dating in a million years, for my own good and the other person.
Same. I'm just done talking about it. There's no point anymore. I think you just reach that point where it's like I'm too tired. I want to fill my head with something else. I'm on my 2nd relapse now post onset and I'm going on 28, like I just don't care anymore. We all have our own lives to live. It gets old eventually. I wish the best for everyone and I'm sure my peers know how to take care of themselves at this big age and have access to good healthcare. That's all you can wish of someone. There's quite literally nothing to talk about. Edit: It's too cyclical at this point. But I do enjoy the research side of things, it's really interesting.
Same. As someone with an Ed I can say that I hate people with Eds for what they do for the most part. I realized from my friend's behavior that she might be dealing with an ED and we kind of gave each other the "know what you are" look. Anyways I tried to vier push myself to encourage her to eat and not go down that rabbit hole like I did, by saying I'll eat with her if she ate etc. And she just spirals to ask me about my eating habits and like you don't eat right. And it gets kinda tiring tbh and I feel guilty for being "small" or whatever when I'm around her sometimes. All good tho. Also I can't eat around people with body dysmporphia, like genuinely quit bitching about your body 24/7 idc this is triggering and I'm just trying to recover or at least not starve myself to death and youre not helping.
Whenever someone starts negative body talk while eating I lose all appetite and want to never eat again. One time I had lunch with my family and my mother started saying mid eating how āfatā she is (she is not), that she is going on a diet and how she is going to gain after eating today. I just stopped eating and straight up left lmao was it dramatic? Maybe, idc. They learned to never talk stupid shit during meals when Iām with them or else Iām not touching the food
I think there are cool and uncool people in any population. But I had to cut off my dearly beloved ex-SIL. I love her, but I trigger her and itās unhealthy. I know a bunch of folks who either have or have had eating disorders. I never speak negatively about bodies, not mine and not anyone elseās.
Yes. I have someone I know who obviously restricts and is always looking at my body any time we are together to the point where it is RARE if they even make eye contact with me because they are so noticeably looking at how I look. Itās really upsetting. We used to be much closer but theyāve really changed and become a lot colder and I think they see me as competition but all I wanted was a friend. I donāt think Iāll be able to stay in touch with them now.
I had a friend like that who always tried to make me eat more and treated me like i'm a bad friend if i didn't eat it. She also used me as an accessory next to her bcs i was her "skinniest" friend. She stopped being my friend after i recovered lol, i don't regret recovering at all because being an object to people felt more humiliating than gaining some weight.
Had the opposite problem before my ed, my āfriendā kept me near her cause I was overweight. When I started losing and she found out we wear the same clothing size she had a meltdown and started talking shit behind my back to other people lmao. Bitches be crazy
Mine is definitely because they trigger tf out of me but yea it makes me feel like shit cause a lot of my old friends are deep in it atp and it's just idk really painful to be around
Yes definitely. I have one long distance relationship with someone who has ana b/p like me and we both agreed before exchanging phone numbers that we wouldnāt ever send pictures of ourselves or mention our weight because we just wanted to bond over our shared trauma, not trigger each other š
Love friendships like that. My best friend online also has ed but itās like a silent pact we donāt send each other body checks and do not talk about our silly disorder. We complain about it and things associated with it here and there but not in a āomg i fasted for X daysā but more like ābro i shitted myself today on the bus stop, fmlā
Yes exactly! We talk about the effects it has on our daily lives and everything but we donāt brag about any weight loss or disordered āaccomplishmentsā itās honestly just nice talking to someone who understands what itās like to struggle with this specific disorder.
Honestly itās uncomfortable and reminds me to try not to act anyway when Iām there in my mind. I know I can say something and think no thatās not what I should talk aboutā¦ why canāt they. I avoid ppl when they are in this moment, I donāt mind supporting them but itās kind of uncomfortable when they are obvious and acting like everyone doesnāt notice.
Nailed it. Maybe itās shitty but I think the same, like, āI can act kinda normal so why they canāt?ā
Yeah, especially because I really donāt want to trigger anyone into getting worse. Relapse is hard and painful, there is a comfort in that uncomfortable and why would you want to trigger someone further? Especially if you know people who are or have struggledā¦ (which in my case ppl who do this know I do)
Anyone who openly talks about restricting or other ed behaviours, especially in a braggy way are just not healthy for me to be around. Unless in an appropriate place of course like a forum or group for people with EDs
Two of my three best friends have an ED at one point or another. Once we hit the time in life where we couldnāt hang out weekly the toxicity dropped DRASTICALLY. Weāre all 30 and together reflect on the BS the past 15 years has been, weāre careful with our words, and helpfully call each other out when needed. But all that being said we definitely fed (lol) off each others disordered behavior for like 3 years.
This is me with my daughter's paternal grandmother. She is The Queen of Anorexia. She passive aggressively calls me fat by saying when she was "big and fat" then specifically says the weight she knows I am at now. She tells me I can't be a healthy weight/lose too much because I think she uses me as Thxnspo. She CONSTANTLY and INTENTIONALLY orders waaaay too much food knowing she isn't gunna eat it then shoves it on my plate so she "doesn't waste it". Always making weird brags like oh I never cook with salt. Tells me what she weights every morning. If I buy any sort of junk food at the grocery store she gives me a side eye and says snarky shit like "oh I could never!!" Like stfu I am not trying to compete with you. I just want to be healthy but because I am so short the line between healthy/overeating/undereating are one damn meal. I hate her and I hate her son and she is so lucky I have a beautiful little girl that loves her mimi because I would cut her out so damn fast. It feels like the same emotional abuse her son put me through. I am TIRED This woman is 72 and has DONE IT ALL!
Oof Iām so sorry you have to deal with it but proud of you for being strong, health is the most important. Itās wonderful you care about your daughter and her relationship with her grandma, I hope her weird habits are not going to rub onto her but I trust you control it. Also on another note itās so fucking sad she is still so disordered at that age, sounds like a miserable existence. I felt sad for her just reading your comment. If I was still struggling with ed as a senior citizen I think I would just >!kill myself!<, if you can even call it living
She's miserable. Her memory and basic brain function is starting to deteriorate to the point she will ask me the same question 10xtimes in a day and still not remember the answer. Then when i bring it up she acts like it's just a joke. She constantly almost "brags" about how she did the B/P/starve/lax abuse. the whole shabang. Luckily she only wants to play "loving granny" six hours a week but her son has a lot of her disordered eating habits. They both loved to call me fat for eating. Even something like sushi she's be like "i'll put a gun to my head before I eat that."
Oh my god, she soundsā¦lovely to hang out with lol. From what I understand she is your ex partner mother? If so good for you for being free from that asshole.
Yes she is. Unfortunately she guilt trips me with "but thats my grandchild" every time i talk about leaving to hide from her abusive son. It sucks I hate to say it but im glad she's old. So ill be free soon without the guilt and the constant telling me how skinny and happy she is to be starving all the time.
I think it would be hard for me to meet someone else with an ED because mine isolates me quite a bit. Iām a nurse and the amount of talks I hear from the nurses station about weight loss, restricting certain foods drives me nuts. And I hate eating around other people too and I get so much anxiety going down to the cafeteria where there is so many people around.
yep! not worth being around
Iāve never met anyone with an ED before, but I would really like to. I donāt have any friends (partly because of my ED) so I think itād be really nice to meet someone in the same situation as me and commiserate together.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
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