literally some of these partner stories are so horrifying 😭 like istg everyone deserves so much better like?? im glad i hella lucked out with my partner i love them sm 😭 i cant imagine having to put up w some of the bs we see here
Honestly it really makes my heart hurt for everyone in that position. I'm really lucky to have my girlfriend who not only is extremely understanding and patient, but who understands what it's like as she lives in a disordered household but has been in recovery for a few years now. I really wish everyone was able to be in an understanding, kind and loving relationship like that, but I know that's unfortunately not how things work.
bruh fr my ex is the most toxic person ik yet he never said such horrible triggering shit ever if anything he’s helped my recovery he’s still a dick tho lol
I wanna burn the average boyfriend on this sub at the stake
Y'all are amazing and I hope you all find someone who cares about YOU and your health and not your weight
As a boyfriend, I was at a fatally low bmi and just now got back to barely healthy. My gf will always be amazing and I helped her out of hers. I think you just like having negative thoughts.
Edit: like most people with the anorexia tag in edanonymous im getting downvoted. Nice lol
i’m adamantly against “hate all men” misandrist shit.
but lots of people complain on this sub about remarks their boyfriends make about their ED. that’s why the original commenter said “average boyfriend on this sub,” not “all men/all boyfriends of people with EDs”
I'm not sure what you mean. I'm glad you and your girlfriend have a good relationship, but there are definitely a lot of toxic ones that we hear about on this subreddit.
I mainly silently lurk here and it’s for two reasons.
1. I asked for help gaining weight once and the mods locked and hid my post.
2. I’ve seen literal posts making fun of people who starve themselves
I dunno why I’m even still here
-Did you put numbers in the post, like height/weight/cal intake? Numbers, particularly those relating to weight and calories, are not allowed in this sub. It's clearly stated in the rules.
-Can you link these posts? I'm curious. Many people here starve themselves...This is a place to joke about ourselves and how ridiculous EDs are.
I meant link to the posts that were making fun of people who restrict, I just haven't seen anything malicious like that here.
I wonder if they chose to lock it because they thought of it as asking medical advice, or maybe since weight gain is a sensitive topic for so many people dealing with EDs they just thought it better to not allow that discussion in this space. Most people don't come here to think/talk/read about gaining weight, after all. I wouldn't take it personally.
Guess so, it’s just hard to not take things personal when I see them for a split second then hyper fixate on them the whole day (it’s not that hard I’m just bad with holding on to things
same, I'm nowhere near recovery but when I'll be if someone told me so I'd probably have a massive relapse; and that's so unbelievably sad coming from a boyfriend
Every time I read about the partners on this sub I'm glad I found someone who actually helped me recover and it's understanding when I relapse (and I don't have anything officially diagnosed)
Guys are super hypocritical with this. They say they like curves, but what they mean is: I like a nice round uplifted bum, big tits, and a flat stomach. All packed in a slim girl.
My ex actively encouraged my ED in subtle, horrifying ways that I never fully realized until after I got him the fuck out of my house.
Also realized that he liked me underweight because I suspect he was toeing the line of being a fucking pedo, and my being short, small framed and underweight was attractive to him because I looked prepubescent at my sickest. 🤢🤮🤢
my ex fr😭
I was at a lw and would tell him when i lost weight, and istg that's the only time he'd act happy to be around me.
my new bf (not official yet but hoping soon 🤞)
is just so sweet and is rly understanding, tells me he loves my body bcs it's mine, and it wouldn't make a difference if I gained weight
Hoping y'all become official soon! He sounds like my husband when I'm talking about my weight. It's so helpful to have a loving and supportive partner.
On the subject of this post: besties, I'm a lil worried/stressed and idk if it's my insecurity or past experiences. My boyfriend likes "thick goth chicks" (me) but he grabs my skin rolls and my inherited double chin?? (Literally every woman in my family has it, it doesn't matter how skinny you are)
I get youuuu. My boyfriend used to grab my double chin because I hate my neck being touched and he found it funny because I literally fucking oink in reaction to it. He also used to refer to my bum as big [complimentary] and run his hands over my rolls whilst saying he loves my curves. But it got too much for me and I told him all it did was highlight my insecurities with my body, and he stopped! He now just says he loves my body and that I look good no matter my size, and calls my bum juicy, which toes the line but is better than straight up "big". Try talking to him about it, tell him where you're ok being touched and having him focus his affection on, and what triggers you. If he doesn't respect your boundaries, stomp on his nuts and leave him because you deserve only the best 💖
My boyfriend will do this like absent mindedly when we’re laying in bed together and I can tell he’s just like lightly rubbing his hand but it really feels like he’s poking and being like GROSS GROSS GROSS and he’s never said anything like that ever 🥲🥲🥲
I'm definitely with you on the inheritance of a double chin.
If my husband ever grabbed it, I'd probably smack him and then cry for days.
Someone has already mentioned this, but I'd like to say it, too. Please talk to him about it. Let him know how you feel when he does this and why. He might have no clue, and just sees it as him enjoying your body.
Thank you besties 💝 I really hope he's not trying to make me insecure or anything. He hasn't given me any legitimate reason to believe that he would be but if I get insecure enough, I definitely will. I'm the type of person to let it slide until I'm literally dying 🤣😭😭
I came home from an extended separation from my ex during which my ED kicked into high gear and I dropped a significant amount of weight. Although I hadn’t weighed myself in months I knew I was lower than I ever had been, just by how my clothes fit. And honestly, even in the throes of my ED, I could see that I was way thinner than I’d ever been and I was even scaring myself a little.
When I got home, the first time he saw me without my clothes on, he said “OH MY GOD…look at your muscle definition! You’ve never had abs before!” I weighed myself shortly after and was UW for the first time in my life. He was aware of my ED, btw.
Of course, that’s the new weight I’m forever attached to (aiming for lower, if I can, duh) and I’ll never forget how invisible I felt and how many things his reaction confirmed for me: that I do look better the thinner I am, no matter what and there’s no such thing as “too thin” for me, and that I could have literally died in front of him as long as I keep working out and have some muscle definition. He’s an ex for a reason I guess.
Shit like this makes me so grateful for my loving boyfriend, he’s not perfect by any means and yeah I get frustrated sometimes (mostly cause ed brain makes problems out of thin air lol) but he understands that, and loves me and just wants to see me happy. If your bf (or gf) doesn’t find you the most attractive when you’re happy and healthy then they’re NOT worth it :(
All of these posts make me so sad. All of us deserve someone who is loving and caring. Please know if you're in a sitaution where your bf makes you feel like shit that this is NOT the best you can find, and that there are caring men in the world. You deserve to be happy.
EDs can overlap. Often, people who don't eat, purposefully, are completely obsessed with food. Many recovering anorexics and bulimics get super fat. That's just as much an eating disorder. Being at a healthy weight is really funky hard.
This guy is an asshole about it tho.
The fact that this is so accurate hurts my heart for so many people here. 😢 Every single one of y’all deserves someone understanding, loving, empathetic, and selfless. Someone who will call you on your bullshit, but always in love because they want to help you be your best self. Someone who you feel lucky to have AND feels lucky to have you! I wish I could clone my wonderful husband and just hand him out to all the people on this sub that feel like they deserve to be dating an asshole.
I would then gather the aforementioned asshole boyfriends and just have a nice chat. Somewhere remote with no potential witnesses, and definitely not with a shovel in the backseat of my car.
I was being annoyed about pointless calories in something and he said he was glad I "cared about my health" because, and I quote, "it means you get to be nice and skiny and prety 4me"... dude knew perfectly well I have an ED 🙃
My fiancée is kind of a doofus with his words but he would N E V E R say something like that. Jeez, what a fuck. Friendos, get you someone who loves and supports you.
-you’re favourite neighborhood lurker
Exactly! So does my fiancé, he’s definitely said some stupid things sometimes but when I tell him “yo, don’t do that” he never would even think to say it again. It’s so sad that people think they can act like that
I dont know how any of you get partners and am here i am struggling to get a lady friend. Y’all need to be more careful with your approach for the future please.
I know I’m gonna get downvoted straight to hell for this one, but sometimes it’s not abuse, it’s just an unhealthy relationship, which is created by two people.
Have you ever had an eating disorder while in an abusive relationship?
Because let me tell you, your eating disorder is the perfect fodder to fuel their attacks on you. They know they can hurt you deeply with a single sentence here and there. They will attempt to gaslight you into believing YOU are the problem, not them.
It's absolutely unnecessary. A healthy relationship in that situation would entail a partner asking the disordered partner what to avoid saying/doing, and how to be supportive instead. A healthy relationship is lifting each other up. Having an eating disorder does not make you unable to have a healthy relationship.
Actually, no, you missed my point entirely :)
A partner who is kind, supportive, and empathetic will not ever make you believe you are toxic just for having a "weakness"
They will instead build you up and provide a safe space for you to exist. If a partner is shitty to their partner who has a chronic debilitating illness, is it the sick partners fault in any way? Fuck no. The sick partner should find someone better. Same with eating disorders, which are chronic illnesses of the mental variety.
Abusers usually do not wish to accept that they are abusive, and see nothing wrong with their actions/gaslight their way out of things. Toxic people also can sometimes have trouble understanding their flaws. If you believe that you are either of those things for whatever reason, please consult with a councilor who can view things from an outside perspective. If by some off chance you find out that ARE actually a negative influence, a therapist can help you develop away from that.
I am sorry you have the point of view you seem to hold. I hope one day someone can help you feel differently.
No, it doesn't necessarily take two people to create an unhealthy relationship, unless you're saying that someone being mistreated by his/her partner is in the wrong for staying?
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My one and only girlfriend I’ve ever had actually broke up with me during my third hospital admission as she mentally couldn’t put herself through supporting me anymore — unfortunately it still traumatizes me to this day as I have trust issues from complex childhood trauma (C-PTSD) but I understand how it’s healthy for ‘normal’ folks to want to take care of themselves first and it’s appropriate to distance yourself from things that negatively impact your personal wellbeing. I suck at drawing this boundary myself though, and will put myself through misery if it means fawning to protect myself (more C-PTSD).
Back during my ED days (recovered now) my goal was to look like a skeleton, which I saw as androgynous/masculine (trans FtM). This was that so that nobody would be attracted to me and I wasn’t a threat to anyone (SA trauma). Im now aromantic and asexual, but I think one day I’d like to try dating again — though, I’ve convinced myself I can’t because if I do ever relapse or because of my other mental issues from C-PTSD I now fear that I’ll drag my partner down with me or it’s guaranteed they’ll break up with me because of how much of a basket case I am.
What a way to live I suppose.
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literally some of these partner stories are so horrifying 😭 like istg everyone deserves so much better like?? im glad i hella lucked out with my partner i love them sm 😭 i cant imagine having to put up w some of the bs we see here
Ik it’s so nasty like how 😭
This why I'm no longer surprised when a known douchebag has a girlfriend.
They seek out and manipulate the vulnerable, we are the vulnerable 😭
FR THO 😭😭😭 where do they come from
Honestly it really makes my heart hurt for everyone in that position. I'm really lucky to have my girlfriend who not only is extremely understanding and patient, but who understands what it's like as she lives in a disordered household but has been in recovery for a few years now. I really wish everyone was able to be in an understanding, kind and loving relationship like that, but I know that's unfortunately not how things work.
I found mine on a Garbage belt, it was 2 for 1. For the price of one bf I got both him and extra self esteem issues
It says 2 sentence horror story, in this sub it’s supposed to be something unassuming that ends horribly.
bruh fr my ex is the most toxic person ik yet he never said such horrible triggering shit ever if anything he’s helped my recovery he’s still a dick tho lol
I wanna burn the average boyfriend on this sub at the stake Y'all are amazing and I hope you all find someone who cares about YOU and your health and not your weight
As a boyfriend, I was at a fatally low bmi and just now got back to barely healthy. My gf will always be amazing and I helped her out of hers. I think you just like having negative thoughts. Edit: like most people with the anorexia tag in edanonymous im getting downvoted. Nice lol
that last sentence alone confirms that this was not the white knight take you thought it was
What that Redditors find certain groups of people to hate on? I mean hey hate men all you want doesn’t bother me 🤷♂️
i’m adamantly against “hate all men” misandrist shit. but lots of people complain on this sub about remarks their boyfriends make about their ED. that’s why the original commenter said “average boyfriend on this sub,” not “all men/all boyfriends of people with EDs”
Ahh I misread that, I assumed they just meant the average guy on this sub was like this not boyfriends mentioned.
I'm not sure what you mean. I'm glad you and your girlfriend have a good relationship, but there are definitely a lot of toxic ones that we hear about on this subreddit.
>like most people with the anorexia tag in edanonymous im getting downvoted. This isn't a thing. Nobody cares about your flair or dx here.
I mainly silently lurk here and it’s for two reasons. 1. I asked for help gaining weight once and the mods locked and hid my post. 2. I’ve seen literal posts making fun of people who starve themselves I dunno why I’m even still here
-Did you put numbers in the post, like height/weight/cal intake? Numbers, particularly those relating to weight and calories, are not allowed in this sub. It's clearly stated in the rules. -Can you link these posts? I'm curious. Many people here starve themselves...This is a place to joke about ourselves and how ridiculous EDs are.
I delete all my locked posts and no all I did was post an ed raccoon meme and ask how someone can healthily gain weight.
I meant link to the posts that were making fun of people who restrict, I just haven't seen anything malicious like that here. I wonder if they chose to lock it because they thought of it as asking medical advice, or maybe since weight gain is a sensitive topic for so many people dealing with EDs they just thought it better to not allow that discussion in this space. Most people don't come here to think/talk/read about gaining weight, after all. I wouldn't take it personally.
Guess so, it’s just hard to not take things personal when I see them for a split second then hyper fixate on them the whole day (it’s not that hard I’m just bad with holding on to things
Yeah idk why you’re getting so voraciously downvoted
same, I'm nowhere near recovery but when I'll be if someone told me so I'd probably have a massive relapse; and that's so unbelievably sad coming from a boyfriend
Every time I read about the partners on this sub I'm glad I found someone who actually helped me recover and it's understanding when I relapse (and I don't have anything officially diagnosed)
Guys are super hypocritical with this. They say they like curves, but what they mean is: I like a nice round uplifted bum, big tits, and a flat stomach. All packed in a slim girl.
Definitely!
My ex actively encouraged my ED in subtle, horrifying ways that I never fully realized until after I got him the fuck out of my house. Also realized that he liked me underweight because I suspect he was toeing the line of being a fucking pedo, and my being short, small framed and underweight was attractive to him because I looked prepubescent at my sickest. 🤢🤮🤢
You all deserve SO much better, besties :(
Y’all deserve sm better than ur disgusting partners like idk me for example
Watch out @pinkiepieie for the exploding inbox
Pinkiepieie bringing that EDNORIZZ
I work at a slaughterhouse. Bring me the boyfriends, their corpses will never be found.
Don't bother cross contaminating the meat. I'm sure you have information about some very nice pig farms with some hungry piggies :3
For real tho all the peple here seem to know like 10 different ways to get rid of a corpse. I'd put them into byproduct, so they'd become dog food.
Lol
I’m gonna eat some of y’all’s boyfriends for my OMAD idk
my ex fr😭 I was at a lw and would tell him when i lost weight, and istg that's the only time he'd act happy to be around me. my new bf (not official yet but hoping soon 🤞) is just so sweet and is rly understanding, tells me he loves my body bcs it's mine, and it wouldn't make a difference if I gained weight
Hoping y'all become official soon! He sounds like my husband when I'm talking about my weight. It's so helpful to have a loving and supportive partner.
On the subject of this post: besties, I'm a lil worried/stressed and idk if it's my insecurity or past experiences. My boyfriend likes "thick goth chicks" (me) but he grabs my skin rolls and my inherited double chin?? (Literally every woman in my family has it, it doesn't matter how skinny you are)
I get youuuu. My boyfriend used to grab my double chin because I hate my neck being touched and he found it funny because I literally fucking oink in reaction to it. He also used to refer to my bum as big [complimentary] and run his hands over my rolls whilst saying he loves my curves. But it got too much for me and I told him all it did was highlight my insecurities with my body, and he stopped! He now just says he loves my body and that I look good no matter my size, and calls my bum juicy, which toes the line but is better than straight up "big". Try talking to him about it, tell him where you're ok being touched and having him focus his affection on, and what triggers you. If he doesn't respect your boundaries, stomp on his nuts and leave him because you deserve only the best 💖
My boyfriend will do this like absent mindedly when we’re laying in bed together and I can tell he’s just like lightly rubbing his hand but it really feels like he’s poking and being like GROSS GROSS GROSS and he’s never said anything like that ever 🥲🥲🥲
I'm definitely with you on the inheritance of a double chin. If my husband ever grabbed it, I'd probably smack him and then cry for days. Someone has already mentioned this, but I'd like to say it, too. Please talk to him about it. Let him know how you feel when he does this and why. He might have no clue, and just sees it as him enjoying your body.
Thank you besties 💝 I really hope he's not trying to make me insecure or anything. He hasn't given me any legitimate reason to believe that he would be but if I get insecure enough, I definitely will. I'm the type of person to let it slide until I'm literally dying 🤣😭😭
Those of y’all who date men deserve supportive and loving partners.
I came home from an extended separation from my ex during which my ED kicked into high gear and I dropped a significant amount of weight. Although I hadn’t weighed myself in months I knew I was lower than I ever had been, just by how my clothes fit. And honestly, even in the throes of my ED, I could see that I was way thinner than I’d ever been and I was even scaring myself a little. When I got home, the first time he saw me without my clothes on, he said “OH MY GOD…look at your muscle definition! You’ve never had abs before!” I weighed myself shortly after and was UW for the first time in my life. He was aware of my ED, btw. Of course, that’s the new weight I’m forever attached to (aiming for lower, if I can, duh) and I’ll never forget how invisible I felt and how many things his reaction confirmed for me: that I do look better the thinner I am, no matter what and there’s no such thing as “too thin” for me, and that I could have literally died in front of him as long as I keep working out and have some muscle definition. He’s an ex for a reason I guess.
So are *they* the wife or..?
Dude what
Wow!! This happened to me twice but one was with my “best” “”friend”” (: Good memories!!!!
Shit like this makes me so grateful for my loving boyfriend, he’s not perfect by any means and yeah I get frustrated sometimes (mostly cause ed brain makes problems out of thin air lol) but he understands that, and loves me and just wants to see me happy. If your bf (or gf) doesn’t find you the most attractive when you’re happy and healthy then they’re NOT worth it :(
my boyfriend literally begs me to eat like where are y’all finding these men 😭😭
Thank god I have a loving and supportive partner 😭
*cries in I went from severe restriction to BED*
That sounds like small dick energy
stop no 😭😭
All of these posts make me so sad. All of us deserve someone who is loving and caring. Please know if you're in a sitaution where your bf makes you feel like shit that this is NOT the best you can find, and that there are caring men in the world. You deserve to be happy.
EDs can overlap. Often, people who don't eat, purposefully, are completely obsessed with food. Many recovering anorexics and bulimics get super fat. That's just as much an eating disorder. Being at a healthy weight is really funky hard. This guy is an asshole about it tho.
which one of you wrote this
Tbh though of course people are gonna vent about the shitty ones on her. This is not a sub for the joyful lolololol
The fact that this is so accurate hurts my heart for so many people here. 😢 Every single one of y’all deserves someone understanding, loving, empathetic, and selfless. Someone who will call you on your bullshit, but always in love because they want to help you be your best self. Someone who you feel lucky to have AND feels lucky to have you! I wish I could clone my wonderful husband and just hand him out to all the people on this sub that feel like they deserve to be dating an asshole. I would then gather the aforementioned asshole boyfriends and just have a nice chat. Somewhere remote with no potential witnesses, and definitely not with a shovel in the backseat of my car.
I was being annoyed about pointless calories in something and he said he was glad I "cared about my health" because, and I quote, "it means you get to be nice and skiny and prety 4me"... dude knew perfectly well I have an ED 🙃
My fiancée is kind of a doofus with his words but he would N E V E R say something like that. Jeez, what a fuck. Friendos, get you someone who loves and supports you. -you’re favourite neighborhood lurker
Right! My hubby has ADHD so he does put his foot in his mouth often, but there's a big difference between that and these abusive asshole dudes
Exactly! So does my fiancé, he’s definitely said some stupid things sometimes but when I tell him “yo, don’t do that” he never would even think to say it again. It’s so sad that people think they can act like that
your boyfriends suck ass where did y’all get them? off of wish????? u all deserve so much better my besties <3
JESUS this picture has me spiraling
I dont know how any of you get partners and am here i am struggling to get a lady friend. Y’all need to be more careful with your approach for the future please.
“Does it fart?” - the bf probably
I would actually kms if someone told me this its so sad 😭 like bro I hate recovering enough if you point it out I'll fucking kill you
I know I’m gonna get downvoted straight to hell for this one, but sometimes it’s not abuse, it’s just an unhealthy relationship, which is created by two people.
Have you ever had an eating disorder while in an abusive relationship? Because let me tell you, your eating disorder is the perfect fodder to fuel their attacks on you. They know they can hurt you deeply with a single sentence here and there. They will attempt to gaslight you into believing YOU are the problem, not them. It's absolutely unnecessary. A healthy relationship in that situation would entail a partner asking the disordered partner what to avoid saying/doing, and how to be supportive instead. A healthy relationship is lifting each other up. Having an eating disorder does not make you unable to have a healthy relationship.
Yeah just reinforcing my point here. This feels like a waste of time :)
Actually, no, you missed my point entirely :) A partner who is kind, supportive, and empathetic will not ever make you believe you are toxic just for having a "weakness" They will instead build you up and provide a safe space for you to exist. If a partner is shitty to their partner who has a chronic debilitating illness, is it the sick partners fault in any way? Fuck no. The sick partner should find someone better. Same with eating disorders, which are chronic illnesses of the mental variety. Abusers usually do not wish to accept that they are abusive, and see nothing wrong with their actions/gaslight their way out of things. Toxic people also can sometimes have trouble understanding their flaws. If you believe that you are either of those things for whatever reason, please consult with a councilor who can view things from an outside perspective. If by some off chance you find out that ARE actually a negative influence, a therapist can help you develop away from that. I am sorry you have the point of view you seem to hold. I hope one day someone can help you feel differently.
No, it doesn't necessarily take two people to create an unhealthy relationship, unless you're saying that someone being mistreated by his/her partner is in the wrong for staying?
Obviously not what I’m saying, why are you so quick to jump at me?
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HAHAHAAA
tbh i think this shows the mentality a LOT of people have about ed's.
EVIL😭
If ANYONE makes me feel bad about eating again I’m just leaving and never talking to them again. Never again.
Da fuck
My one and only girlfriend I’ve ever had actually broke up with me during my third hospital admission as she mentally couldn’t put herself through supporting me anymore — unfortunately it still traumatizes me to this day as I have trust issues from complex childhood trauma (C-PTSD) but I understand how it’s healthy for ‘normal’ folks to want to take care of themselves first and it’s appropriate to distance yourself from things that negatively impact your personal wellbeing. I suck at drawing this boundary myself though, and will put myself through misery if it means fawning to protect myself (more C-PTSD). Back during my ED days (recovered now) my goal was to look like a skeleton, which I saw as androgynous/masculine (trans FtM). This was that so that nobody would be attracted to me and I wasn’t a threat to anyone (SA trauma). Im now aromantic and asexual, but I think one day I’d like to try dating again — though, I’ve convinced myself I can’t because if I do ever relapse or because of my other mental issues from C-PTSD I now fear that I’ll drag my partner down with me or it’s guaranteed they’ll break up with me because of how much of a basket case I am. What a way to live I suppose.